All language subtitles for Never Say Goodbye (James V. Kern, 1946).english

Do you remember
one september afternoon?

I stood with you and
listened to a wedding tune

and didn't i go with you
on your honeymoon?

Remember me?

Do you recall a cottage small
upon the hill?

Where every day i had
to pay another bill?

And if i'm not mistaken,
dear, i pay them still

remember me?

I can see that
little angel on your knee

can't you see he kind of
sort of looks like me?

For i'm the boy whose
only joy is loving you

who worries till he hurries
home when day is through

and i'm the guy you give
your goodnight kisses to

remember me?

Yes, ma'am?

I'd like a fall coat
for my little girl.

Surely.
What size?

I think an 8.

Aren't you sure?

I haven't seen her in
six months. They grow.

Don't they?

Has she been away
at school?

Not exactly. She's been
staying with my ex-hus-

with her father.

Oh, i'm sorry.

Divorce is bad enough,

but children certainly
complicate things, don't they?

Now, here's
something chic.

It's a little too chic.

Haven't you something
more conservative?

Yes. Here's a new model
we just got in.

Not quite as chic
as the other one.

That'll do very nicely.

Charge it
and send it, please.

What's the name
and address?

Mrs. Ellen gayley,
8405th avenue.

5th avenue.

Could you send it today?

Of course.

It's a coming-home
present.

You'll have it
without fail, mrs. Gayley.

Thank you.

Can i help you?

I'm looking for a fall
coat for my daughter.

Something special.
A going-away present.

This way.

What size?

Well, she's 7 years old.

Yes, but how tall
is she?

Oh. Well, let's see.

She comes up
to about...

about this button.

She'll take an 8.

She's more developed
than the average kid.

No. Most 7-year-old
children take an 8.

Oh.

Now, here's
a very popular number.

Uh-huh.

That's an 8, is it?

What do you think?

Here's a hat
that goes with it.

Oh, it's cute.

Uh-uh, no.

Doesn't do anything
for me.

You wouldn't wear a coat
like that, would you?

It wouldn't fit me.

I want something
more exciting

that'll make the little
boys whistle at her.

Exciting?

Well, how's this?

This is about as exciting as you can get

for 7 years old.

Yes. Yeah!

Swell. Great.
Wrap it up.

I'd like it delivered by noon today.

That's only three hours.

Just get a messenger
and send it

to miss philippa gayley,
156 central park west.

Philippa?

That's right.
She was named after me.

Philip,
philippa.

You wouldn't be philip
gayley the artist?

Yes, i would.
Charge it to me.

Have you got a card?

I'd like
to enclose a note.

Yes, mr. Gayley.

I get tweed magazine
every month.

I never miss
the gayley girl.

Well, bless
your little heart.

I have the september issue
right here.

See?

Uh-huh.

Long as you're writing,

could i have
your autograph?

Certainly.

It's very gratifying to a
painter to be appreciated

while he's still alive.
Thanks for asking.

You're welcome.

Incidentally, i've always
thought i should've been

a professional model,
mr. Gayley.

What do you think?

The minute
i looked at you,

i said to myself,
"hmmm."

Mr. Gayley!

Here you are.

Don't forget the coat now, will you?

Oh!

Hello.

I have a package
for miss philippa gayley.

That's for me.

Will you make
an "x" there?

Wouldn't it be better
if i signed my name?

Did you answer
the doorbell, flip?

Yes, cozy!

And here's your package.

Thank you, kind sir.

Kind sir?

Cozy, a package for me!

Who's it from?

From robin hood,
of course.

He promised when he left this morning

that he'd send friar
tuck with a package.

So that's who he is today.

Yesterday it was napoleon.

Day before yesterday it
was alexander graham bell.

That father of yours.

Oh, cozy,
you have no imagination.

I at least know who
i am from day to day.

Aren't you going
to open it?

I'm waiting
an extra minute

to make it
more exciting.

Robin hood.

It'll be a relief
to get back to people

who aren't always
pretending,

where your mother
is your mother,

your grandma
is your grandma,

and i'm your nurse,
not the queen of sheba.

Cozy, look!

I've never seen
anything like it.

Neither have i,

and i'm a good deal
years older than you.

Some creation.
Mmm-mmm!

Oh, cozy,
isn't daddy wonderful?

Well, yes,
in his own peculiar way.

I hate to think
of leaving him.

Well, it's the law, flip.

Six months with mommy.
Six months with daddy.

Back and forth.
Back and forth.

Some future.

You want to see
your mother, don't you?

Of course. I've
missed mommy terribly,

just like i miss my daddy
when i'm staying with her.

Now i've got to start
missing daddy all over again.

It don't seem
to make sense.

Uh-uh.

Look.
A card from your father.

Oh! Let me see.

"Wear this when you
have lunch with me today.

Robin hood."

Better get a move on,
if you're to meet him.

But he didn't
say where.

Naturally. That'd be
the normal thing to do.

I'm going to call him
at his studio.

Relax a minute.

Hello.

Hello, gorgeous!
How are you?

Did you get
my present?

Swell.

I didn't?

I tell you
what you do.

Grab a cab.

Meet me at luigi's
in 15 minutes. O.k.?

All right, darling.

Goodbye.

"All right, darling."

You've got a nerve.

Keep your shirt on.

Couldn't
have lunch with me,

but you take
some other doll.

If you saw her,
you wouldn't blame me.

Gorgeous blue eyes,
blonde hair.

I'd like to get
my hands in it.

Stands about 3'9"
in high heels.

Oh, your daughter.

Well, that kind of
competition i don't mind.

I didn't think you would.

Say, is that all you've
done this morning?

No inspiration,
no work.

Listen, michaelangelo, i've been
inspiring you the past four months.

I'm the same girl,
aren't i?

Nancy, maybe
you've hit it.

You've inspired me so much,
i'm a little fatigued.

We won't do anymore
today, honey.

I'm spending the afternoon
with flip.

I'll see you
for dinner?

Sure, sure, sure.

Mr. Luigi?
- Huh?

Is it all right
to serve this ice cream?

Why not?

They're all for mr.
Gayley's little girl.

I told her it's a lot
for one person.

Give it to me.
I'll serve her myself.

Thank you, luigi.

Never mind the thank you.

Since when comes all this
ice cream before lunch?

You know daddy and i always
start lunch with dessert.

Yes, but your daddy
isn't even here yet.

For what
the three ice creams?

One is for me,
one is for nicodemus,

and one is
for ebeneezer.

Nico who?
Eber what?

What is this?
Who is this?

Nicodemus and ebeneezer,

my two new
baby brothers.

And have they
got appetites.

I think i sit down.

I feel a little dizzy.

Oh, not there!

You'll sit
right on ebeneezer.

Oh, excuse me.

Is it all right?

Now, maybe
a little explanation.

You see,
i told daddy

i wanted a real live
baby brother to play with,

but he said, since he
and mommy are divorced,

that it would be
impractical.

Impractical?

It's impossible.

So daddy got me these
two baby brothers instead.

They're enchanted.

No one can see them
except daddy and me.

Mmm-mmm.
Is that so?

Suppose i tell you
i can see them, too?

You can? Then why don't you say hello?

Hello, how do you do,
nico-who's its.

You look fine today.

You, too,
ebe-what's it.

Luigi, ebeneezer's
sitting over there.

How do you
- don't be so smart, young lady.

Remember, i knew you
before you were born.

That's silly.
How could you?

Didn't your mama
met my papa

right here in my
restaurant the first time?

And didn't he ask her to pose for him?

And she said yes.

And months later, right
here at this table,

didn't he propose
to her?

Again she said yes.

And that night,
didn't i get drunk?

Chee.

You said it.

Daddy told me
he and mommy

fell in love
at first sight.

Mm-hmm,
that's right.

He looked at her,
she looked at him,

and before
she knew it,

she got painted.

Here we are, flip.

Thank you.

Is everything in there?

Everything on the list.

Such a lovely basket.

Is it a present
for your mama?

No, it's
for fenwick lonkowski.

Ah.

Fenwick whoski?

Fenwick lonkowski.

Uh-huh. Is he here, too,
like niconeezer and epidemic?

Fenwick's
in the pacific.

He's a marine.

The best marine
in the whole world.

You don't say so.

I do. He says so, too, in every letter.

Where did you meet this
fenwick lonkoopsk-koopski?

Oh, we've never met,

but we're
very good friends.

That's why i'm sending him
this christmas present.

Hello, bill. How are you?
- Hello, phil.

Oh, here comes daddy.

Don't tell him i'm here.

Luigi, old boy,
how are you?

You're looking great.

I've been eating
across the street.

Finally getting
some sense, huh?

Are you
expecting somebody?

As a matter of fact,
i was.

Have you seen a tall,
gorgeous hunk of femininity

asking for me?

You couldn't
possibly miss her.

A beautiful girl.

Long,
drooping lashes.

A lovely figure.

Uh, hmm.

Pardon me, miss.

Could this be yours?

Oh, that?

You may keep it.

I've hundreds more
like it.

Oh. Thank you.

You must be as rich
as your are beautiful.

Haven't we met
before somewhere?

I don't think so.

I know i've
seen you somewhere.

Could it have been the
ziegfeld follies of 1920?

You were the girl
third from the left.

I was the bald-headed
man in the front row.

Oh, daddy, you're such a flirt!

She knows you.

Fine thing for a certain
girl to tell a certain guy

who just bought
a certain coat.

The girl didn't
mean it, daddy.

That's better.
Now i can enjoy my lunch.

What are you going
to start with?

I've already
had ice cream.

She's ready
for her soup.

Pardon me,
nico-nicolodus.

Now, let's see
what you're sending

this marine of yours.

I hope these
american delicacies

aren't going
to make him too homesick.

Ah! Caviar.

Caught in the good old
mississippi, i'll bet.

Truffles. Imported fresh
from brooklyn, of course.

Did you pick out
these little numbers?

No. I gave the waiter one
of your old shopping lists.

No wonder my digestion's
been on the blink.

Save room
for the picture.

What picture?

Mine. Fenwick
asked for it.

Here's his
last letter. See?

Oh, this i must see.

"Dear smoodgie..."

smoodgie?

Is that what
he calls you?

That's how i sign
all my letters.

I think it makes them sound more, uh...

personal, don't you?

"Dear smoodgie,

"your last letter
was like a beautiful poem,

so tender
and passionate..."

say, what do you
write to this guy?

Cozy helps me
type the letters.

They're all
in this book.

"How to write letters
to a soldier."

Hmmm.

Does your mommy
know about this?

Oh, no!

She wouldn't
understand.

Here's the picture
i'm going to send.

Do you think fenwick
will like it?

Well...

to tell you
the truth, flip,

this picture
does not flatter you.

It's my only one
in a bathing suit.

You want him to think girls
back home are shrinking?

This picture is liable
to ruin his morale. Wait.

If i know anything about a
marine's taste in pinup girls...

here.

There you are.

That's more like it.

But that's mommy!

Yep.

Best thing
i ever did of her.

Nothing's too good
for the marines.

Do think it's fair to
fool fenwick like that?

Oh, sure.
Keep him happy.

Tell him you
posed for it.

If he believed your letters,
he'll believe anything.

Better get
your coat, flip.

She's ready, cozy.

Do we have to go
so soon?

You don't want to keep
mommy waiting, do you?

I'll ship this off
to fenwick in the morning.

I'll bet
when he gets it he...

now, now.

I'm sorry, daddy.

That's no way for a
ziegfeld girl to act.

Your mascara's going to
run all down your face.

I'm not a ziegfeld girl
now, daddy.

Oh, that's right.
Of course.

You're
the lady guinevere.

Fair damsel, sir lancelot salutes thee.

Don't be sir lancelot,
daddy,

'cause i'm not guinevere.

I'm just flip.

Oh, come on, now,
darling.

Why, look at
nicodemus and ebeneezer.

They're not crying.

They are, too.

Oh, daddy!

I know how
you feel, darling.

I'm just as unhappy
about it as you are,

but we mustn't let it
get us down, must we?

After all, we're grown
up people, aren't we?

I don't feel
very grown up right now.

Mr. Gayley,
i've got a cab waiting.

We don't want
a cab, cozy.

Here. You u ke it.

Flip and i, we travel by magic carpet.

O.k., but you better order
your magic carpet right now,

'cause it took me three
hours to get this cab.

Are you going
to take me home?

Certainly. What would
king arthur say

if sir lancelot left
a damsel in distress?

Come, m'lady.

Your snow-white steed
awaits without.

Is anything afoot,
sir lancelot?

Yes, m'lady.

I am.

Thinkest thou,
squire mccarthy,

we may meet any
fire-eating monsters

in yon enchanted
forest?

No, but heaven help me if
we bump into my sergeant.

He'll think i've blown
me top for sure.

We're not doing
any harm.

And daddy gets such
a kick out of it.

Why, hello, cozy.
Welcome home.

How do you do?
How do you do?

It's sure good
to be back.

Hello, mrs. Gayley.

Cozy, thank goodness
you're back.

Yes, ma'am.
At long last.

Wonderful.
Where's flip?

Mr. Gayley's bringing her

on a magic carpet.

Magic...

mr. Gayley's
coming here?

Yes, ma'am.

Why didn't you phone me?

You should've
let me know.

Excuse me.
I'll be right back.

She's got it, too.

Got what?

The bug.
Same as mr. Gayley.

It's a scientific fact
insanity is not contagious,

if that's what you mean.

Well, science still
has got a lot to learn.

Come in.

Hello, mother.

Hello, dear.

Did i leave
my glasses in here?

I haven't seen them.

Would you unzip me,
please?

Are you changing again?

You know how
clothes-conscious flip is.

I want to make
a good impression.

You put this on
only an hour ago.

Yes, but on second thought-

ellen, is philip coming?

Cozy did say
he might.

I thought so.

I was hoping you'd have gotten
philip out of your system.

I was
hoping so, too.

You've had a year to forget him
- a long time.

Yes, it is,
isn't it?

Philip has a certain
charm. No denying that.

I'm not
denying it.

Must you echo
everything i say?

I agree with you.
Phil has lots of charm.

It's unfortunate he can't
turn it off around other women.

Hmm.

Hmm, indeed.

There are plenty
of attractive men

who also make
good husbands.

Philip just wasn't
one of them.

You found that out
yourself.

Not entirely.
You helped me.

That's what
a mother is for.

However there's no harm
in your seeing philip now.

I'm sure
you're smart enough

not to make
the same mistake twice.

Thank you.

Later you'll wonder what
you ever saw in philip.

I know what
he saw in me.

I just want
to refresh his memory.

Hmm.

Mommy!

Here i am!

Oh, mommy!

Oh, flip, darling!

Oh, baby, you're
getting so big!

I grew a whole inch,
got two new teeth,

and weigh 50 pounds.

Oh, wait a minute,
darling.

It's so good
to see you.

What's that perfume
you're wearing?

Daddy bought it for me.

It's called
bon jour, cheri.

That means...

hello, darling.

Hello, phil.

Well, aren't you
going to kiss him?

Flip, it's time
you realized

daddy and i aren't
married anymore.

I bet you kissed him lots
before you married.

I'll bet she did.

Let's not
go into that.

Anyway, daddy can stay
a while, can't he?

Yes, certainly.

Come on, daddy.

It's a lovely coat.
So chic.

Thank you.
I like your dress, too.

Took the words
out of my mouth.

I see daddy's
been spoiling you.

I have not.

Yes, you have.

He has spoiled me for any
other man i'll ever know.

What?

Now, where
did she get that?

She's been listening to
those radio soap operas.

I'd like a word with you,
young lady.

How have you been doing
at school?

Don't tell me you've been
playing hooky all this time.

Oh, no, mommy!

Only the last four days.

Oh, phil.

She's much smarter than
those other kids.

I thought it
only fair

to let them catch up.

Come upstairs, flip.

Your grandma wants to have
a real good look at you.

In a few minutes, cozy.

Do as cozy
tells you.

But it's been so long

since i've seen
you and mommy together.

Run along, darling.

O.k.

Come on, nicodemus.
Come on, ebeneezer.

Nicodemus.
Ebeneezer.

Just wait
till your grandma

hears about those
two brothers of yours.

Brothers?

I invented them
for flip.

She got lonesome
at times.

Oh, i see.

She looks
so different, phil.

Mm-hmm.

So do you, ellen.

I've never seen you
look better.

Oh, i don't know why.

I haven't had a decent
night's sleep in months.

Insomnia?

No, parties.

It's been cocktails here
and dinners there

and dancing
someplace else.

I just can't seem to get to
bed till 4:00 in the morning.

Is that so?
Maybe you're not trying.

I never knew how many
attractive men

there were
in new york until...

well, you know.

Mm-hmm.

Ellen, i'm a little bit
disappointed in you.

Carousing around
every dive in town,

wallowing
in cocktails,

staggering home
in the morning.

I waited
until we were divorced.

And i hoped i was being missed a little.

You were. I talked
about you lots of times.

You did?

With mother.

Oh, your mother.

Hmm. One of my
greatest boosters.

How is the dear,
sweet, lovable old-

phil!

Well, she is. She talked
you into this divorce.

Mother has nothing against
you personally, phil, but...

but-ah!

That was the word
she did it with...

"ellen, i'm very fond of
philip personally, but...

"i never listen to idle
gossip myself, but..."

or, "ellen, your husband's
artistic temperament

"excuses a great
many things, but...

but, but, but, but.

Old goat butted you
right into reno.

She was trying
to protect me.

Protect you?
From what?

What did i do?

Occasionally i took a model to dinner,

back to the studio
to work.

I like to paint
at night.

First five years
we were married,

you painted
in the daytime.

It's no use arguing.
I give up.

You never
gave up so easily.

I've changed
a great deal this year.

It's no use
trying to convince you,

so i'll be on my way.

Well, goodbye, phil.

See you in six months.

Yes.

I was hoping to ask you
out to dinner tonight,

but i see you have
other plans.

Funny. This is
the first night in weeks

i wasn't planning
to do anything.

Oh. Then have
dinner with me.

I couldn't. It's flip's
first night home.

You're not going out with
somebody you just met.

You're going out
with her old man.

What will people say?

They'll say it anyway.

This is the first
anniversary of our divorce.

Let's celebrate.

If you put it
that way...

slip on your mink
and let's go.

Daddy, daddy, look
what mama bought me.

Very smart.

It's a little, uh...

but very smart indeed.

But two coats in one day?

You and mommy ought to get
together on these things.

I'm working on it,
taking her out to dinner.

Oh, daddy!

Flip, where did you get to?

Kiss me good night
when you bring mommy home.

O.k.

Wouldn't it be wonderful

if daddy and mommy
got married?

Sure save us
a lot of moving.

Imagine, i
could be flower girl

at my own mother's
wedding.

That would be a novelty.

Remember that song?

I've never
heard it before.

Liar.

Sentimentalist.

I'll never forget the first
time we danced together.

Neither will i.

I was holding you
just like this

and crooning
into your ear.

Do you remember one
september afternoon?

I stood with you and
listened to a wedding tune

and didn't i go with
you on our honeymoon?

Remember me?

I can't understand it.

What?

You sang like that
and i married you?

Oh...

i'm wounded.

I know what'll cure you.

Phil?

Mm-hmm?

I have a confession
to make.

Those cocktails
and dinners

and dancing till 4:00
in the morning?

Mm-hmm?

I made it all up.

Then you did miss the
old man a little, huh?

I've missed you, too.
You're my girl.

There'll never be
anybody else but you.

Are you sure?

Of course.

What about that girl
you've been painting?

Girl? Oh, you
mean nancy graham.

Strictly business.

She's a good model,

but that's all
she's ever meant to me.

Does she know that?

I think you sound
a little jealous.

I like it, too.

Hey, want to
see my masterpiece?

My, we certainly
look happy, don't we?

Naturally, we do,
because we're together.

That's the way
it ought to be.

You really mean that?

You know i do.

I've got a swell idea.
Why don't-

ellen, phil, you come now.

Go ahead, honey.
I'll join you.

Joe, got
a check for me?

Yes, mr. Gayley.

Did i keep you
waiting?

No, not at all. Nancy!

What's the big surprise?

Did you forget
we had a dinner date?

How could i forget
a thing like that?

Shall we go in
to our usual table?

No! Not yet, anyway.

Why not relax?
We got plenty of time.

Give me tee martoo...
uh, two martinis.

I've no appetite.
I had a heavy lunch.

I didn't. I'm famished.

Let's eat here.
It's more intimate.

Last time, you said it
was more intimate in there.

What's he know?
Order for us.

I'll be right back.

Where are you going?

Luigi, nancy's here.

With who?

Me. How do i get
into these jams?

It's a gift.

I've got to go.

If ellen ever sees
me with nancy-

or versa vice-a.

I don't want
to make a scene.

You know
how she is.

You take a girl
to dinner 300 times,

right away she thinks
you're interested.

Do something.
We're in trouble.

Oh, mr. Luigl-

don't bother me.
I'm in trouble!

Well, there you are,
darling.

I thought you were lost.

Lost? What
made you say that?

Only because
you were so long.

That's the very idea
i had at the bar.

Let's get lost together,

get away from everything
and everybody.

We could
leave right now.

Grab a cab, drive
around the park.

We did order dinner,
you know.

How can you talk
about food now?

Somebody wants to talk
to you on the telephone.

I wonder
who that could be.

I take back all the nice
things i said about luigi.

Here you are.

Thank you.

I figured it out.

Go sit with nancy.

What are you
going to do?

I'm going to spill accidentally
a little soup on her.

She has to go home
and change her dress.

You can't go around
spilling soup on people.

When i was a waiter,

i always did it,
without even trying.

I got a better idea.

Spill the soup on me.

I'll have to go home
and change my clothes.

You'll take
ellen with you.

Think you can make it
look natural?

Naturally.

Get napkins
and follow me.

Very well, sir.

Here we are.
Here we are.

Turtle soup made from
real mock turtles.

I can hardly wait.

Fine. Very fine.

First, you get some.

So...

and then you get some.

Luigi!

Oh!

Oh, luigi,
i'm surprised at you.

I'm even more
surprised than you.

Excuse me, honey.

Oh.

That was great. Great.

But it did look natural,
didn't it?

Natural. I got to
get back to ellen.

I call you again
to the phone

if i get another idea,
one that doesn't leak.

Sheesh.

Who called you?

Luigi.

I mean on the phone.

Oh, that was,
uh, jack gordon.

You remember jack.

How is the old barfly?

Oh, he's, uh...

he's not so well.

He's in the hospital

there's nothing wrong
with jack. It's his wife.

She's having a baby.

I didn't know
jack was married.

How could his wife
be having a baby

if he wasn't married?

Wouldn't have a wife.

Oh, phil.

Phil-be careful
with the soup.

You are wanted
on the phone.

That must
be jack again.

He probably wants
someone to talk to.

Tell him i'd like
somebody to talk to, too.

This time
i really got it.

You got it
the last time, too.

My busboy is
handling everything.

Stand here with me
so i have my alibi.

Alibi for what?

For that. Come.
We carry her out.

I'm sorry.

Never mind being sorry.

You almost killed me
with that.

What happened?

That busboy was tinkering
with those steins.

One missed me
by that much.

It missed you?

Luckily.

Where are you going?

To fire the busboy.

You can't fire
a poor fellow

for an accident
like that.

Are you trying
to kill the girl?

No, just
stun her a little.

Don't get any more ideas
like that, will you?

No.

Now what did jack want?

I don't know.

What?

I don't know
what he wanted,

but he got a girl.

How wonderful.
What does she weigh?

Oh, um, 14 pounds
and 8 ounces.

I mean 14 ounces
and 8 pounds.

Silly.

That's a big baby.

Flip weighed less
than 7 pounds at birth.

But she was very young.

And luigi got so excited

he spilled soup
on himself?

I remember as if
it happened tonight.

Phil, telephone for you.

Oh, not again.

I wonder
what jack wants now.

I'm sorry.
I'll be right back.

Now what?

I got
a stroke of genius.

Stand behind the curtain
and watch.

A wonderful idea.

It's absolutely
foolproof, even for me.

First, i call myself up

on the phone
in the next booth.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello.

Dummkopf. That's me.

Up to now, it's going fine.

Freddie, call miss graham
to the phone.

You stand over there.

Hello?

Nancy, this is luigi.

Luigi, where are you?

At phil's studio.

Well, what are you
doing there?

I'm with phil. Don't
ask so many questions.

Phil wants you
to come here.

I don't understand what
you're talking about.

Oh, pardon me.

So-so you come right
over to phil's.

We are having
dinner here.

Phil is icing
the champagne now,

and we are going
to have a celebration-

big celebration.

He says a special occasion,
a quite special occasion.

You shouldn't
waste a minute.

You should come over.

It-yeah,
nanc-nan-hello?

Nancy, d-do you hear me?

Say something.

What's the big idea?

W- what-what-
what idea?

Nancy. Na-nancy,
where are you?

Where are-

where...

shoo. Heh heh heh.

There you are.

If i thought you were
making me a chump, i'd-

what's all
the excitement?

I was making
a joke on nancy.

It wasn't funny.

There's something going on
around here tonight.

Go to the bar.
I'll join you.

Stroke of genius.

She's smarter
than i thought.

Well, you're not.

Tell ellen i'm still
talking to jack.

Say it's twins.

Twins.

Everything all right?

Yes. Where's phil, luigi?

Still on the phone.

Jack gordon
just had twins.

Twins?

Two little sons.

Both boys.

But the first was a girl.

No. She
changed her mind.

Oh, good evening,
mr. Gordon.

Hello, mae.

Why didn't you
call last night?

Shh!

Are you coming,
jack?

Coming, dear.

And jack said
he's so upset

he's taking
a hospital room

right next
to his wife.

I thought
that was you, ellen.

How are you?
Hello, luigi.

Why are you here?

Celebrating. You remember
mary scott, don't you?

We just got engaged,

going to get married
in the spring.

Come on. Let's go.

See you later,
ellen.

So long, luigi.

I think i'm wanted
on the phone.

Why are you
eating so fast?

Got to. Doctor's orders.

You better
change doctors.

Heh heh.

Jack gordon.

What about jack gordon?

Jack gordon.

Excuse me.

Jack.
- Phil.

You shouldn't
be here.

You should be
in the hospital.

That's funny. I never
felt better in my life.

I just saw jack gordon.
He's at the bar sitting down-

where's ellen?

She saw jack gordon,
too. Look.

"You always did paint
pretty pictures, phil,

"but this one
is not for me.

Enjoy your
other dinner." what?

Hello, mommy.

Flip, you
shouldn't be up.

I was waiting for daddy.

He's not coming.
Now, get back to bed.

Why didn't he
bring you home?

Did you have an argument?

No. Just a little
misunderstanding.

I'll bet that's daddy
calling to apologize.

We won't answer that,
flip.

No?

Hello? Hello?

I almost thought
we were going back

to live with daddy.

I almost thought so, too.

Guess i'll never get
that baby brother now.

Hello, ellen,
is that you?

Oh, well.

Hello?

Hello, ellen?

Hello, ellen.

Good night, mommy.

Good night, darling.

Ellen!

Coming along,
eh, mr. Gayley?

Coming along, mac.

Why waste time
on this stuff?

Just getting back
to nature.

There's more nature in
one gorgeous girl you paint

than all these trees.

I can't get in trouble
with a tree.

You've got a point there.

Merry christmas.

Merry christmas, mac.

Don't look.

Guess who?
- Um...

ah...
scarlett o'hara!

Nope.

Lady godiva.

Uh-uh.

Uh, i give up.

Ooh woo
woo woo

i know. Pocahontas.

Oh, you've
guessed it, daddy.

You've got a pretty good
aim, poky, old girl.

Where were you yesterday?

Cozy and i
went christmas shopping.

Daddy, are you coming
to grandma's tonight?

I'd like to, but she
wouldn't let me in.

Why don't you call mommy
and ask her?

I've called every day
for two months.

She won't speak to me.

But, daddy,
it's christmas eve.

Everybody makes up with
everybody on christmas eve.

Well, it's worth a try,
isn't it?

O.k., let's go.

You going to leave
your painting here?

Oh, sure.
Nobody will take it.

I wouldn't want that
in my house.

Well, uh,
i'll try, sir.

Who is that, withers?

It's mr. Gayley. He wishes
to speak to mrs. Gayley.

I'll speak to him.

Philip, you're
wasting your time.

Ellen doesn't wish
to speak to you.

Where's your
yuletide spirit?

Haven't you heard
of peace on earth

to men of goodwill?

But you aren't men
of goodwill.

I am so! I want
to talk to my wife!

She is not your wife.
I will not call her.

She doesn't wish
to speak to you.

Merry christmas.

Same to you!

You old...

there goes our nickel.

Rex?

Yes, margaret?

That was philip again.

Can't you do something

to stop him
from calling here?

Legally, philip is bound to
refrain from molesting ellen

during her
six months' custody.

As your attorney, i
could take certain steps-

hello, rex.

Did i hear the phone?

It was philip. I gave him
the usual message.

You distinctly
told me-

i know, but, after all,
it is christmas eve,

and phil always did play
santa claus for flip.

I advise you against
permitting philip to see flip

except when
the law provides.

Rex can
take legal steps

to prevent philip
from annoying you.

Keep as far away from phil as possible.

He's not
fond of you.

You wanted a divorce.
I got it for you.

Is that any reason
for philip to dislike me?

Phil doesn't
need a reason.

I suggest rex play santa
claus for philippa tonight.

I'd be delighted.

I'd do anything
to make flip happy.

I want her to like me,
too, you know.

Well, you can try.

The whiskers might make a difference.

Of course they will.

I... ahem.

You know l-i don't think i'm
making much progress with ellen.

You must
have patience, rex.

These things take time.

Well.

I'm sorry, daddy.

I was kind of looking
forward to tonight.

You kind of make believe
i'm there tonight, huh?

I'll try, but
after spending every day

with nicodemus
and ebeneezer,

at night i'm usually
tired of making believe.

You better scoot along

before they miss you
around the house.

All right, daddy.

Goodbye.

Merry christmas.

Merry christmas.

What are we up to now?

January, february,
march, april, may-

that last one
was october.

To november.

No reason
to neglect november.

To november.

Shee! Shee!

You will get sick.

You shouldn't eat
so many olives.

Luigi, these
glasses you see

represent milestones
in my life.

One for each month of
separation from ellen.

Lovely sentiment,
isn't it?

It's lovely.

You're a sucker to sit
around here and brood.

Do like i say.

Go up to my cabin
in connecticut.

Nobody up there but the
housekeeper, peaceful and quiet.

That's great.

Alone by myself at
christmas in connecticut.

You don't have
to be alone. I'll go.

We'll cook up a party.

I'm in no mood.

To december.

December.

You know something, phil?

What?

Nobody, nothing, no one

could keep me away from
my kid on christmas eve.

Neither rain nor snail
nor heat or snow

could keep me away
from loved ones tonight.

I'd go through anything.

I'd suffer the pangs
of hunger and thirst.

Thirst.

Jack, you're right.

I'm going
to see flip tonight

if it's
the last thing i do.

Even if it's the second
to last thing you do.

So long, fellas.
Merry christmas.

Poor phil.

Probably they won't
even let him in,

and flip, such
a nice little girl

with no santa claus.

That could never happen
in the old country.

What old country?

Any old country.

Good evening.

Here i am, full
of christmas cheer,

noel, and all that.

Is that your costume?

Yes. Where can i change?

Upstairs in
the guest room.

It's cold out
tonight-

shh! Flip's sleeping.

Will this be a pleasant
surprise to her.

Well, a surprise anyway.

Ahem.

And a merry christmas
to you.

Is that you, rex?

Why, rex,
you look wonderful.

Oh, that tummy.
I'd hardly know you.

Run along downstairs
to mother.

She's trimming
the christmas tree.

I'll be down
in a few minutes.

Rex.

Oh, ho ho ho.

Baa!

Boo!

Oh, rex,
how you startled me.

Ho ho ho!

That suits
fits you perfectly.

You certainly
look more presentable

than philip gayley
ever did.

For once,
we'll have christmas

without santa setting
fire to the tree

or losing his beard

in the tom
and jerry bowl.

To you and ellen,

and i hope that
by this time next year

i can call you son.

You said it.

Hmm?

Ho ho ho!

Oh!

Eh heh heh heh.

Rex!

Baa!

Hoo hoo hoo!

Come in.

Well, ellen,
what do you think?

How do i look, hmm?

Please, rex,
i've already told you.

No more nonsense.
Go downstairs.

For heaven's sake, don't
drink any more tom and jerry's!

They're making
a wild man out of you.

But i haven't
had any-

there you are,
margaret.

Rex.

Didn't think you'd
know me with my whiskers.

Have i time for a drink?

How do i look?

I just told-
these tom and jerry's

are stronger
than i thought.

Have another one
anyway.

Another one?

Why not? I made
this for ellen.

Here's to ellen and you.

By next year, i hope
to call you mother.

How sweet.

Oh, it's
nearly midnight.

You better go upstairs

and get the toys
from the hall closet.

Hall closet.

Baa!

Well...

ha ha ha.

Now, look here, rex.

I'm losing patience
with you.

If you don't get out
of my room and stay out,

i'll call this
santa claus business off.

Why.

Ho ho ho.

Oh, dear.

Ow!

Hey!

Come on!

I don't know why
you're so grumpy.

I thought you were
anxious to see santa claus.

If santa claus
is who i think,

some christmas
this will be.

All right,
mr. Wise-guy gayley,

now try to get out.

Yoo-hoo!

Hey! Hey!

Ha ha ha!

So i'm trapped, huh?

Let me out
of here, gayley.

How do you expect me
to get out of here?

Why don't you
try the chimney?

It's 12:00.

I wonder what can be
keeping santa claus.

Maybe i'd better
go out and see.

Yes, maybe you had.

The last time i saw him,
he was carrying quite a load.

Ta-da!

I don't know what's come
over you tonight, rex.

Come on, and for heaven's
sakes, do it right.

Here comes
santa claus now.

Ho ho ho! Merry christmas, everybody.

Merry christmas.

Old kris kringle
is here,

and the joint
is jumping.

You're a pretty
little girl.

Have you missed santa
claus during this past year?

That's good.

Let's see what
jolly old st. Nick

has brought for the youngsters
and not-so-youngsters.

Ahh, "to flip
from her daddy."

From daddy?

A great man,
your daddy.

How did that
get in there?

Oh, and here's one that says, "to ellen,

from her
loving husband."

Ho ho ho!

You lucky girl, you.

Oh, "to flip,
from her uncle rex."

A beautiful
cocktail shaker.

What's the matter
with rex?

I think i know
what's the matter with him.

Ahh, let's see what we've
got here for the old bag.

Uh, i mean
in the old bag.

Ho ho ho!

I'm afraid there's nothing
here for you, grandma.

You've been a naughty girl this year.

All right, phil,
that'll be enough.

Daddy!

Oh!

Oh! Ellen,
where is rex?

Oh, there he is,
grandma!

Oh, my poor rex.

What did he do to you?

This is disgraceful.
It's shocking!

I've got a right
to see-

not tonight.

Gayley, the bathroom,
locked me in.

Your conduct
is outrageous!

Temper. Temper.

There you are, gayley.

I'm going
to sue you.

I won't take this!

Well, take this.

What's he trying
to do?

If it wasn't illegal,
i'd punch you.

Go ahead.
I won't sue you.

No. I don't trust you.

And you
ought to be ashamed

giving this
to a little girl.

I gave that
to ellen.

And keeping your hat on
in front of ladies.

Ellen, don't you
understand?

Oh!

Ha!

Oh, rex!

Oh, you murdered him.
He's dead.

Goodbye, and
a merry christmas.

And a merry christmas
to you, too.

Oh, my poor rex.
My poor rex.

Ohh.

Huh? Huh? Huh?

Oh, phil!

What brought you here?

The cab.

Why, that's luigi.

I was going to play
santa claus for flip.

She's got one.
Get in.

How many santa clauses
can there be?

The place is crawling
with them.

To luigi's, driver.
We're having a party.

You said you weren't
in the mood.

I am now.

Oh, mommy, it was
just like old times.

Isn't daddy wonderful?

He has his points.

Then why don't you
fix it

so the three of us
can be together always?

I'll think about it.

You will?

Oh, mommy, it's going to be
a merry christmas after all.

Oh.

Luigi.

Ha ha ha ha!

It is luigi,
isn't it?

Huh?

I hope so.

That's good.

Ohh.

How did you get
in that bed?

I don't know.

First tell me
where am i?

You're in my apartment.

Oh.

What happened
last night?

Remember the party
we were going to have?

Yeah.

We had it.

Shoosh! Shoosh!

I feel there's something
else i ought to remember.

I forget whether
it's something i did

or something
i'm going to do.

Oh, that buzzing
in my head.

You hear it, too?

Wait. We can't
both be wrong.

I could've sworn
i heard that buzzer.

Phil.

Ellen, dar-ooh!

Good morning.
May i come in?

Yes. Sure. Sure.

But walk gently,
will you, darling?

Judging from your
big baby brown eyes,

santa claus must've
made a few stops

on the way home last night.

Judging by my head,

i must've fallen down
a few strange chimneys.

I wanted to talk
with you,

but maybe i better
come back.

No. You're just
in time.

Let me have
your coat.

Take off your hat
and shoes

and make yourself
at home.

How about
a little breakfast?

No, thanks.

Do you mind if i whip
myself up something?

No.

Little transfusion.

This place could certainly
stand a woman's touch.

That an offer?

No,
it's a suggestion.

I have a girl who comes in now and then

and does things
around the house.

That's not what
i meant.

Ha ha! Honey, it's
so good to see you

back in your
natural surroundings.

This couch has been
lonesome for you.

None of your romance,
friend.

I came here to talk
about flip.

Ahh, one of
my favorite subjects.

Phil, promise to stay away
from flip when she's with me.

You make the child
very unhappy.

She seemed happy
last night.

That's just the point.

When you brought her
to me two months ago,

she was depressed
for a while.

Gradually she got used
to being away from you

and everything was fine.

Ellen, you can't
begrudge me

being with my own kid on christmas eve.

I don't, but you jump into
her life for one night,

then leave.
She misses you.

Isn't it normal
to miss someone you love

when you're away
from them?

Yes, but i can't
make her understand

why the three of us
aren't together.

And you can't make me
understand it, either.

Can i tell flip
we're apart

because you and i
don't love each other?

She'd never believe you.

It's true,
isn't it?

It's not true,
and you know it.

Why do we punish
each other like this?

I didn't want it
this way.

Then let's start
all over again,

for the sake
of the children.

We only have one.

Yes, but i'm-
i'm looking ahead.

I need you and flip,
and you need me.

Don't you wake up in
the middle of the night

and wonder where
i am?

I used to do that
when we were married.

Oh, wait a minute.

I'm asking all
the right questions,

but you're not giving
the right answers.

I know what it is.

It's tough enough trying
to sweep a girl off her feet

without competing
with daylight.

If i'd known you
were coming,

i'd have the moon.

You'll have to settle
for a star.

I like stars.

And a certain
favorite record of mine.

See what a difference
it makes?

Soft light, sweet music...

darling.

Phil... say something nice to me.

You look lovely.

How do you feel?

Lovely.

You're my girl,
ellen.

We belong together.

Welcome home,
mrs. Gayley.

Well, aren't you going to drink to that?

Oh, i want
to come home, phil,

but this time
i've got to be sure.

Look, why don't we
go away somewhere

for a couple
of weeks

and take flip
with us.

Jack gordon's got a
place in connecticut.

We could go riding
and fishing.

I could
do some painting.

You seem to forget
we're not married.

We can take cozy with us
for a chaperone.

I just want to prove

that we're better as a
family than living apart.

What do you say?

Phil, i wanted to play house so badly.

Good. We'll pick up flip
and be there in two hours.

I'll get dressed.
Be right back.

You've got those stars in
your eyes now, mrs. Gayley.

Don't move.

Luigi, ellen's
coming back.

I'm going away. We're both
leaving because we're together.

Luigi, this is
the beginning.

You are back,
but you are going away

because the beginning
is all over.

You are starting
to sound like me.

Take your coat.
Say hello to ellen.

Hello, ellen.
Where are you?

Oh, there you are.

Luigi!

Oh, it's good
to see you.

When did you
pop in?

I was in.
I just popped out.

Ellen, it's such
good news.

It's wonderful.
It's beautiful.

It's dark in here.

Oh, ellen, and phil has
been working so hard,

and he was lonesome,
too.

He didn't look
at the other woman.

He actually-

we've got time for one for the road.

Luigi, don't you
ever go home?

Where's phil? We better
get started. Ellen.

Hello, jack.

Did you know,
uh, barbara bracken?

We just got engaged.

We're gonna get married.

Heh heh heh.

Barbara, this is
ellen gayley.

Phil's wife.

But i thought-

oh, no, you didn't.

Pardon me for asking,
but what goes on here?

Goes on? Nothing.

We're just catching
a train.

I thought we'd
say so long.

We might as well
say it. So long.

Why don't you
say something?

Say so long.

So long.

Hi, kids. Are we
ready to leave?

Hello, nancy.
Nice seeing you.

What's the matter
with you?

We were coming
to pick you up.

Let's go.

Oh, you and
that bottle.

Hello, luigi.
Oh.

The ex-mrs. Gayley.

Miss graham,
i believe.

Did you drop in
to say goodbye to phil?

Hardly. I came here
to meet phil.

Oh.
Going somewhere?

Yes. Didn't
he tell you?

We're running to jack's
place in connecticut.

I don't believe it.

Show her
the tickets, jack.

Well, i, um-

here they are.

I hope phil wasn't so
careless as to invite you, too.

No. He's much too smart
to do anything like that.

That's good.

It would be
awkward for me,

spending the weekend
with his former wife.

I wouldn't think
of spoiling the fun.

By the way,
if i marry phil,

what'll that make
you, my sister-in-law?

Miss graham, if i didn't have
a certain amount of pride-

your pride didn't keep
you from crawling back.

You shouldn't
have said that.

What are you using
to get him back,

the kid?

Please, ellen, this
is all my fault.

Here, toots.
Merry christmas.

Same to you.

Why you-
i'll...

let me alone!

Hey, what is this?

Cut it out!

Ellen,
what are you doing?

Letting myself go
for a change.

I've been moping around
that house over you,

talking myself
into believing

that someday
we'd be together again.

Well, my moping days
are over.

From now on, i play the
field with a vengeance.

Honey,
let me explain.

Explain it to her.

Sister-in-law!

Ohh!

What have i done?

This is what you forgot to remember.

Mommy, i'm glad
you're home.

I've got something
to tell you.

Not now, flip. Have lunch
with nicodemus and ebeneezer.

I don't want
to have lunch

with nicodemus
and ebeneezer.

I've invited fenwick.

Fenwick who?

Fenwick lonkowski.
He flew from honolulu.

Just because you found a new friend

is no reason to be rude
to nicodemus and ebeneezer.

Mommy, you don't
understand-

i know, dear.
Run along.

Tell cozy to fix a nice
lunch for all of you.

Sister-in-law.

Mommy, i told fenwick
he could take a shower.

I let him
use yours

because the spray is
stronger than the guest room.

That's fine, darling.

Hello, fenwick.

Hiya, flip.

Smoodgie!

Oh, gosh.
I'm sorry.

I didn't mean
to startle you.

Oh, no!

Are you all right?

Yes, i'm fine. Stay where you are.

I always
drop things.

But, smoodgie!

Stay where you are. Make
yourself at home. Ohh!

Mommy, wait
a minute!

Oh, cozy, there's
a man in my bedroom.

He thinks i'm somebody
called smoodgie.

You mean fenwick?

I just pressed
his uniform.

Uniform?

Yes, mommy. That's what
i've been trying to tell you.

Fenwick is a marine.

A marine?

Uh-huh. I've been
writing him for months.

Wait a minute.
Let me get this straight.

You've been writing
to a marine?

Yes. The man
on the radio said

just because
the war's over,

we shouldn't stop writing to servicemen.

Ahh.

But why this fenwick?

The radio gave a whole
list of lonesome soldiers.

I picked fenwick

because i thought
with that name,

he'd be
the lonesomest.

What's he doing
here, darling?

I sent him a christmas
box. He's on leave,

so he came
to thank me.

Well, that's different.

Why didn't you
say so?

The only trouble is,
he thinks you're me.

He thinks i'm what?

He thinks you're the one
that's been writing to him.

Whatever gave him
that idea?

I sent him
a picture of you.

You sent him
my picture?

But why?

It wasn't my idea.
It was daddy's.

Daddy said nothing's
too good for the marines.

So it was
your father's idea.

Well, all right. If that's
the way he wants it, fine.

Then fenwick
can stay for lunch?

Uh-huh.

We should be nice
to servicemen.

We'll be much nicer than
your daddy ever dreamed.

Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat.

There i am,
laying in this foxhole.

Suddenly, something
bites me in the leg.

A fox?

You heard that joke
before, huh?

Ha ha.
Ha ha.

Seriously, why don't
you tell us some more

of your experiences,
corporal?

Don't call me
corporal.

Call me wicky, like
in your letters.

Oh, yes, my letters.

I've got them
all here.

Know which one
i like best?

Well, i wouldn't
presume to say.

I'll read it
to you.

"Dear wicky..."

ha ha.

"I've been
sitting here

"watching nightfall,
thinking of you.

"V-mail can't bring us near each other,

"as we'd like
to be,

"but soon, there will
be a knock at my door,

"and you'll be
standing there.

"I'll know you
right away,

"even though i've never seen you.

"Then we
can make up

"for the time we didn't know each other.

"Until then,
i am forever...

"affectionately...

smoodgie."

You didn't write
letters like this

to anybody else,
did you?

No, i swear i didn't.

Why didn't you ever
tell me about flip?

Oh, uh...

i was afraid
you'd lose interest

if i admitted having
a grown-up daughter.

Well, as long as you haven't
got a grown-up husband.

But, mommy-

yes, darling.
It's all right.

Do you know what i'd
like to do right now?

I can't imagine.

Well, it's been
18 months

since i've
seen a woman.

Yes, i gathered that.

I'm just itching to get
my arms around a girl and-

yes?

Turn on the radio
and-

yes?

Dance
to a good band.

Yes, oh, yes.

Yes,
that would be easy.

Of course,
i should say.

I may be a little rusty.

I'll get it.

Hello.

Daddy!

How are you, honey?
Good.

May i speak
to the woman we love?

Well, i don't know.

Mommy is dancing.

Huh?

She's doing what?

With whom?

With fenwick.

You know,
fenwick lonkowski.

What's he doing dancing
with your mother?

He thinks mommy's me.

Oh, he thinks she's you.

What?

But-
but that's terrible.

What's this guy
look like?

Who? Uh, fenwick?

Oh, he looks
just like he sounds, daddy.

Well, what does
he sound like?

Is he big or little?

Big?

Oh, no, he's tiny,

about 5'2".

5'2".

Oh.

Skinny little shrimp,
huh?

Oh, he's not skinny,
daddy. He's very fat,

and he has
hardly any hair.

You're kidding. Huh?

And glasses, too?

Ha ha ha.

Thick ones?

Ha ha ha.

All right, honey.

Well, you tell mommy to have
a nice time with her marine.

All right, daddy.
I'll tell her. Bye.

So there she is,

stuck with
this little guy.

He looks
like a beer barrel.

Oh, i really fixed her.

It's good ellen has
a sense of humor.

She better have.

Mr. Luigi...

i'll wait for you
outside the bar.

All right.

Whew. You're about the
tallest marine i've ever seen.

Well, i ain't short.

Thank you.

Uh, bourbon
and plain water.

Yes, sir.

Make that a double.
Put it on my tab.

Nothing's too good
for the marines.

Thanks, bud.

Great body of men,
the marines.

Of course, they don't all look like you.

Well, i'm
in pretty good shape.

I should say
you are.

What's funny?
What's the joke?

Oh, nothing
to do with you.

I was just thinking of
another marine i know.

He's a little guy
with glasses.

He's fat, looks
like a penguin.

Sounds like my sergeant.

No kidding? You
sergeant looks like that?

Well, down the hatch.

Yeah, here's to you.
Here on furlough?

Yeah, i got
one more week.

They better get out
of your way, huh?

They'd better get out
of my way, rump!

Got yourself
a playmate?

I got
the cutest little doll

you ever laid
eyes on,

and not a kid
just out of rompers.

Uh-huh. You'll
do all right.

You know
i'll do all right.

I can't help
thinking

about
that little guy.

I shouldn't
be laughing at him.

Excuse me.
Here comes my baby now.

You bet.

Thank you.

Keep you waiting?

No, not much.

Ah, this is
my favorite table.

We could have gone
to someplace lively.

Oh, it'll get lively here.
Don't worry.

Hello, ellen.

Why, phil.

Am i intruding?

Oh, no more than usual.

Corporal lonkowski,
this is philip gayley.

We've met already,
in a way. We just-

gayley?

You two related?

Uh, in a way.

He's my brother-in-law.

What do you know?
Won't you sit down?

This calls
for a drink.

I owe you one,
anyway.

I'll go get
the waiter.

Hurry back.

What's this
brother-in-law business?

I thought it might be
embarrassing for wicky

to sit with my ex-husband.

Wicky?

Yes, that's his nickname.
Cute?

Cute. O.k., i won't
crab your act.

What are you doing fooling
around with this kid for?

Who's fooling?

You'd better be
because he isn't.

This guy's been living
in a jungle a long time.

In a jungle.

All set.

Drinks will be right here, mr. Gayley.

Don't be so formal,
wicky.

Call him uncle phil
like flip does.

Oh, gee,
i couldn't do that.

Oh, sure. Go ahead,

as long as we're spending
the evening together.

Well, thanks,
uncle phil.

Gee, they're playing
the rumba.

How 'bout it,
smoodgie?

Why, yes.
Certainly, wicky.

I didn't know you was
her brother-in-law.

Shows you how careful
you got to be

what you say
to strangers.

Ha ha ha ha.

See now?

They make a lovely couple,

ellen and
the short fat marine,

and you fixed that.

Go ahead.
Stab me in the back.

Taxi.

Yeah, we'll
need one, too.

Why don't you
share my cab?

If it's all right
with smoodgie.

If it's all right with you,
it's all right with me.

Hop in, corporal.

I'm so glad we didn't
go to connecticut,

or i wouldn't
have met wicky.

Wicky.

Well, good night,
ellen.

Can i drop you off
somewhere, corporal?

I don't know just where
i'm stopping yet.

You're stopping here,
of course.

We have a lovely
guest room.

What?

I wouldn't turn wicky away
at this hour.

I'll put the corporal up
at my place.

Well, i don't know
just what to say.

I insist you stay here,
wicky.

That's mighty nice
of you.

Thanks anyway.

But what about
your mother?

Won't she be upset having
a stranger in the house?

Oh, mother
isn't home.

Your mother's not home?

She won't be back
till tomorrow.

Come on, wicky.

Good night,

uncle phil.

Want me to wait, bud?
Clock's still running.

Can't you see
i'm thinking?

Oh.

How much do i owe you?

$1.60.

You think you got
some chump?

Here's a buck.

But the clock
says $1.60.

The clock's a phony.

I'm not so sure
about you.

Now just a minute, bud.

I'd like my money.
I got two kids.

I don't care if you
got nine kids.

If you haven't
got the dough,

you can send it to me.

Why don't you shut up
and leave?

You don't have to
shout at a guy.

Oh, you want to make
something of it?

That sounds like
uncle phil.

Put up your dukes!

Come on!

Here, buddy.

Here's 5. keep the change
and beat it.

Huh?

Beat it. Beat it.

Poor guy.

Uncle phil,
speak to me.

Speak to me.

There's something
fishy about this.

Where are you
taking him?

Inside. We can't leave
the poor guy out here.

He might catch
pneumonia.

Well, couldn't we just
cover him with something?

The best thing would be
to send him to a hospital.

Can't get in
unless you're sick.

I hope it isn't
a concussion.

My friend got banged
in the head.

Made him
a different man.

Why didn't i
think of that?

Where am i?

Guess.

Now take it easy,
uncle phil.

I'll be all right.

Just let me...

rest a little.

As soon as you feel your
strength flooding back,

you can leave.

Not in this condition.
It might be serious.

He can't stay here.
I don't want him.

I haven't any pajamas
for him.

He can wear
a pair of mine.

As long as you have
everything settled between you,

i guess you don't
need me anymore.

Good night.

Good night, smoodgie.

I'll get you
a drink of water.

Good night,

smoodgie.

Why don't you grow up?

Do you expect me
to leave you alone

with that-that
amphibious casanova?

I can take care of myself
if i want to.

I'm not so sure-

uncle phil! Are you sure
you're all right?

That's no way to behave.

I'll take care of him,
smoodgie.

Up we go.

Good night,

uncle phil.

Uncle phil,
how do you feel?

Slightly lost.

You'd better take it easy.

That was a bad bump
you got.

There. That better?

Yeah.

Uh, uncle phil, i've got
something on my mind.

I want you to be
the first to know.

Go ahead, my boy.

Well, i'm nuts about
your sister-in-law,

and i'm going
to marry her.

Marry her? What for?

What for?

Uncle phil, you look upon
ellen as a relative,

but me-well, take tonight
when we was dancing.

I'm holding this
beautiful girl in my arms,

and i started to get
a feeling like-

oh, but you wouldn't
understand.

But, fenwick, ellen's
not going to be satisfied

with any ordinary man.

She's spoiled.

Her ex-husband was
a pretty terrific guy.

She divorced him,
didn't she?

He left his mark.

She'd always be
comparing you to him.

You might be
a poor second.

Take your build,
for instance.

It's-it's pretty good,

but compared
to my brother-

what a handsome devil.

Fascinating.

But tough. And strong?

You might not
believe this,

but he could even take
a telephone book

and tear it in two.

You mean like this?

Yeah, but...

you used two hands.

Oh, yeah.

Your brother will be
a hard guy to follow,

but i think i can make
ellen forget about him.

You're not sleeping
like that?

Why not?

Someone might see you.

It gets chilly at night.

I'm out of the habit
of sleeping with clothes.

I feel overdressed
as it is.

Well, time to hit the sack,
uncle phil.

Yes, sir, you've had
a pretty strenuous evening.

You just get yourself
a good sleep

and rest those
weary old bones.

Good night, uncle phil.

Good night.

Wicky. Wicky.

Wicky. Wicky. Wicky.

Nothing is too good
for the marines.

Ha ha.

Oh, no, he's tiny.

About 5'2".

I'm in pretty
good shape.

You're flabby, but i'm
in pretty good shape.

Pretty good shape.

I'm so glad we didn't
go to connecticut.

Why, i wouldn't have met
wicky, wicky, wicky.

You know i'll
do all right.

Who's fooling?

You'd better get out
of my way, rump!

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha!

Oh!
Who's there?

Oh, it's me.

Oh.

What do you mean, "oh"?

Who'd you think it was,
wicky?

Wicky wouldn't have
been so clumsy.

If he's not here,
where is he?

How should i know?
Maybe he's sleepwalking.

If i find him walking
in this direction,

i'll put him to sleep
permanently.

Ha ha.

Ah, there you are.

Hello, uncle phil.
Cold chicken?

No, thanks.

I just can't seem
to fall asleep.

What's the matter,
something on your mind?

No. I guess i just miss
the jungle noises.

What do they sound like?

Like this-

bleop, bleop, bleop.

Caw, caw, caw.

What's that,
some kind of bird?

It's lots of birds
put together.

If you think it'll
put you to sleep,

i'll help you out.

Uncle phil,
that's swell.

That's all right.

O.k., go ahead.

Bleop, bleop, bleop.

Caw, caw, caw.

Uncle phil, it's no good
if i see you.

Why not?

It's night in the jungle.

You can't see the birds.

Oh. O.k.

Bleop, bleop.

Caw, caw, caw.

Oh, wait, uncle phil.

No, uncle phil,
you only had two bleops.

Got to be three.

Ah, pardon me.

Bleop, bleop, bleop.

Caw, caw, caw.
Bleop, bleop-

nope. No use. Guess i'm
just not tired enough,

but you go to bed,
uncle phil.

No, i'm not tired,
either.

I'll tell you what.
We'll do some calisthenics.

That'll wear me out.

Good. Then we can
both go to sleep.

Here's the first one.

Hup. Hup. Hup. Hup.

Up. Down.

Well, uncle phil?

Come on.

Here we go.

Up. Down.
Up. Down.

1, 2, 3, 4.

That's it.

1, 2, 3, 4.

Lay 'em down.

Oh, pick 'em up
and lay 'em down.

Ahh.

Ahh.

Well, that's enough
dogtrotting, uncle phil.

I got one for you now.
Stand back.

The old nip-up. Ha ha.

There you are,
uncle phil.

Now it's your turn.

Me?

Yeah, just roll it back
and flip it up.

Oh, gee, i'm sorry,
uncle phil.

Are you hurt?

Oh, don't tell me that
cab driver came back again.

Uncle phil and i was just
doing some calisthenics.

He missed the last one.

Which one?

This one.

Ha ha ha ha.

Well, what's the matter?

You didn't really think
uncle phil could do that?

Oh, yeah?

Oh!

I knew he shouldn't
have tried that.

Good morning, sir.

Good morning.

They're asking for you.

Who's they?

Mrs. Gayley
and that marine.

My, what a fine-looking
young fellow.

Have some more
hot cakes, wicky.

Thanks.
Don't mind if i do.

Good morning.

Hiya.

Hello, uncle phil.

Philippa.

How you feeling
this morning?

Reasonably well,
thank you,

except i seem to
have suffered

a slight lapse
of memory.

Oh, forget something?

I recall having been
tripped in the kitchen.

After that...

after that,
wicky carried you upstairs.

Yeah, for the second time
in one night.

I hope you two
didn't stay up late

worrying about me.

Would you like
hot cakes, unc?

Unc?

Dear little
philippa.

No, thank you.

If you'll excuse me,
i'll go get my coat.

We've got a full day
ahead of us.

I'm sorry. I can't be
with you this morning.

I've a million things
to do.

I'll be back at noon.
Mother will be here,

and we can really
do the town.

I'm looking forward to
meeting your mother.

Goodbye, smoodgie.

Bye-bye, wicky.

Ha ha.

Sweet boy.

Come out from behind
that low sultry voice.

I know you.

You used to know me,

but you're now looking
at the new ellen.

5'2".

Big stomach.
Baldheaded.

Can't even trust
my own daughter.

I'm sorry, uncle phil.

I mean, daddy.

Anyway, you're prettier
than fenwick.

You know who's going
to suffer most

if your mother
marries him? You are.

She's going to marry him?

Not if i can help it.

How'd you like
to grow up

with that weightlifter
for a daddy?

You'd be nothing
but muscle.

You'd bulge all over
the place.

You'd be nothing but one
great, big horrible bulge.

What are we going to do?

Get rid of him.
But how?

Must be some way
to get him out.

If only your mother
had a jealous husband.

She has.

Who?

You.

I keep thinking
i'm uncle phil.

If only i was as tough
as i told him i was,

i'd take him
and tear him in pieces.

Oh, daddy, don't be silly.

Nobody would ever believe
you're a tough guy.

Why not?

You believe i'm sir lancelot, don't you?

You believe
i'm robin hood.

Yes, but fenwick hasn't
my imagination.

Well, never mind.
I'm desperate.

You tell him
your father's coming.

I'll run fenwick
out of here.

All right, daddy,

but i hope you're not
running in front of him.

So i thought i'd
better warn you

in case you
want to leave.

No, i'd kind of like
to know your father.

Well, you're taking
an awful chance.

He's still very jealous
of mommy.

I've taken chances
before.

If you want anything,

just whistle.

Daddy always had
a terrible temper,

but since mommy
divorced him,

he's really become
a wild man.

I've seen cases like that.
Nerves.

So we always humor him
when he gets violent.

If he tells you to do
something, do it.

I think i can
handle him.

Daddy!

Daddy!

Hello, squirt.

Where's your mother?

She's out, daddy.

Out? With who?

Oh, she's alone.

She'd better be.

Pardon me, mr. Gayley.

Who's this creep?

I'm fenwick lonkowski.

I've heard about you
from your brother phil.

My brother?
That cream puff?

What's this mug
doing here?

He's going to marry
mommy, daddy.

What's the matter
with you,

you tired of living?

We can talk this over.

We ought to be friends.

Keep your mitts
to yourself,

or you and me is
going to tangle.

If i can't have ellen,

no other guy's
going to have her.

Now get going.

But if you'll
only listen.

Get going.

Please don't do that, sir.

Go on,
get out of here.

I wouldn't do that
if i were you.

Oh, you wouldn't,
wouldn't you?

Listen, junior-

you're going to
make daddy mad.

I'm glad you
picked me up.

I didn't want you to
get home before me.

Why not?

We have
an unexpected guest.

Gee, i'm sorry, sir.

I guess i kind of
forgot myself.

So, don't know when
you've had enough, eh?

Get out of here before
i stop liking you.

Oh, please, mr. Gayley.

Go on, get out, you big-

what's the meaning
of this?

He's always on his back.
Get up, phil.

Phil? I thought there was
something funny about this.

What's on your face?

You must be mrs. Hamilton.

Who's he?

Fenwick lonkowski.

I'll attend to him later.

I'll thank you to leave
my house immediately.

Get rid of him, too.

Oh, uncle phil-

don't call me
uncle phil.

I'm nobody's uncle.
I'm her husband.

Ex-husband.

I see what you meant

when you wrote you
wanted a real man.

It was flip who wrote
you all those letters.

Flip!

You heard me.
I'll go now.

You've certainly
made a mess.

Of course.
It's all my fault.

It's too late
to apologize.

Mommy, stop him!
Stop him!

Flip.

Mommy, he's gone.

He's gone!

Gee...

poor kid.

Oh, don't cry, flip.

Everything's going
to be all right.

No, it won't.
Daddy's gone,

and he's never
coming back

to mommy or me.

Guess i'll always be
an only child.

Now don't you worry, honey.

They'll be back together.

Everybody keeps talking,

but nobody ever does
anything about it.

Oh, fenwick.

Come in.

Well, hello.

Where's flip?

We know you've got her.

What are you
talking about?

Flip hasn't been here?

No, i haven't
seen her.

Why?
What happened?

That's strange. It doesn't
even sound like flip.

Where'd you find it?

Pinned to her bed
this morning.

Can i make a suggestion?

Keep out of this.

I'm worried. Something
terrible might happen.

Don't talk
like that.

He's right, smoodgie.
She couldn't-

please, wicky,
this is our problem.

What are we
going to do?

Phone the police.

Know what i think?

Where could she
have gone?

She couldn't have
gone very far.

Philippa gayley, age 7,

female, caucasian,

has been missing since
early this morning.

Watch all public places,
major highways,

railroad and bus terminals.

This may be possible
kidnapping.

The whereabouts of
7-year-old philippa gayley

remains a mystery.

A citywide search for
the noted artist's daughter

is continuing,
so far, without results.

Washington-
new legislation-

oh, phil, if anything's
happened to her,

i'll never forgive myself.

Take it easy, honey.

The kid must have been
unhappy to run away.

We didn't give her
the home she needed.

It's all my fault.

Don't say that,
phil.

We've all been
to blame,

one way or another.

Too bad you didn't
realize that sooner.

This way, officer.

We found your daughter,
mrs. Gayley.

You have? Where?
Where is she?

We'll take you
down to her.

Is she all right?

We also got the guy
that kidnapped her.

Oh! Kidnapped!
Kidnapped?

Tragedy.

All right,
come on. Talk.

Talk? What do you
want me to say?

You told us your name
is willie schmidt.

Then why does the kid
call you luigi?

Well, you see, when i
bought my restaurant,

the name on the sign
was luigi's,

and it was cheaper
to change my name

than to buy a new sign.

What's the use?
Take the lights off him.

What were you doing pushing
this kid in that taxicab?

I was taking
her home.

Home?

A marine brought her
to me this morning.

A marine?

And he said
i shouldn't

let her mama
and papa

know where she was.
I decided-

where is she?

There she is.

Oh, flip! Baby!

Luigi, what are you
doing here?

This is your kidnapper.

That's ridiculous.
This man's a friend.

Why did you do it?

We'll take you home.

I'm not going home.

I'm going to live in luigi's
back room and scrub floors,

and luigi will beat me.

Me beat you? Oh.

Why don't you want
to come home?

Because you and mommy
don't love me anymore.

I know who i'd like to
take before a judge.

Daddy and i
love you.

Well, why don't you
get married

so we can always
be together?

What do i say
in my report, buddy?

You found our little girl,
and we're grateful.

We won't trouble
you anymore.

She's coming home to live
with her mother and father.

That's right. She-what?

Mommy! Daddy!

We can go home now.

All right, mommy,
i'll go home.

Luigi, that little blond
hatcheck girl down at your place,

is she, uh...

is she?

Sheeee.

Yes?

Telegram for gayley.

Come in.

There you are, sir.

Thanks.

"Have a wonderful
second honeymoon."

Here, you better read this.

Who's it from?

Oh, an old girlfriend.

Oh, phil.

Oh!