Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:30,656
♪ I happen to like New York ♪
2
00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:34,410
♪ I happen to like this town ♪
3
00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:37,705
♪ I like the city air
I like to drink of it ♪
4
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:41,250
♪ The more I know New York
The more I think of it ♪
5
00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:44,920
♪ I like the sight and the sound
and even the stink of it ♪
6
00:00:45,004 --> 00:00:48,549
♪ I happen to like New York ♪
7
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:52,011
♪ I like to go to Battery Park ♪
8
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:55,347
♪ And watch those liners booming in ♪
9
00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:58,642
♪ I often ask myself why should it be ♪
10
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:02,271
♪ They should come so far
from across the sea ♪
11
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:05,983
♪ I suppose it's because
they all agree with me ♪
12
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:09,570
♪ They happen to like New York ♪
13
00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:13,157
♪ On Sunday afternoon ♪
14
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,744
♪ I took a trip across to Hackensack ♪
15
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:20,289
♪ But when I gave Hackensack
the once-over ♪
16
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:24,001
♪ I took the next train back ♪
17
00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:27,588
♪ I happen to like this burg ♪
18
00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:31,092
♪ I happen to like this town ♪
19
00:01:31,175 --> 00:01:34,095
♪ And when I have to give
the world my last farewell ♪
20
00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:38,182
♪ And the undertaker starts
to ring my funeral bell ♪
21
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:41,936
♪ I don't want to go to heaven
Don't want to go hell ♪
22
00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:45,356
♪ I happen to like New York ♪
23
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:48,609
♪ I happen to love ♪
24
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:54,448
♪ New York ♪♪
25
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,877
- Oh!
- Oh!
26
00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:10,631
Come on, you promised to sit through the
entire hockey game without being bored,
27
00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:12,133
and I'll sit through
the Wagner opera next week.
28
00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:13,050
I know.
29
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:15,678
- I already bought the earplugs.
- Yeah, but with your eyesight...
30
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:18,305
I'm surprised you can see the puck.
31
00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:21,475
Yea. Hurrah.
32
00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:29,108
- I can't wait to get into bed.
- I know.
33
00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:30,943
There's a Bob Hope movie
on television later.
34
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:33,529
I know.
Do you believe this guy in Indiana?
35
00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:36,532
Killed 12 victims, dismembered them
and ate them.
36
00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:38,659
Really? Well,
it's an alternative lifestyle.
37
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:40,619
Yeah, I'll say.
38
00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:51,130
- Hold the elevator!
- We're coming.
39
00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:53,716
Hold the elevator.
Thank you. Thank you.
40
00:02:53,799 --> 00:02:59,013
Oh, I, uh... I see you
at the gym sometime.
41
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:01,348
- Oh, you do?
- We live in the apartment down the hall.
42
00:03:01,432 --> 00:03:03,475
Oh, well, I go whenever
I have the discipline.
43
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:04,935
It's important to put that time in.
44
00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:07,354
- Does wonders.
- Oh, yeah, I agree with you.
45
00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:11,066
- Exercising changed my life.
- I prefer to atrophy.
46
00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:13,861
- I'm not a big exercise person.
- We bought a treadmill last week.
47
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:18,449
We had one, but we got rid of it,
because it was taking up too much space.
48
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,327
- You have to turn it on and get on it.
- Hey, hey.
49
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:24,496
It's so confusing with all of those
buttons and computerized programs.
50
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:26,582
- I'm just never going to get that.
- Oh, I know.
51
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:31,212
It's wonderful meeting you. I've seen you
so many times in the hallway.
52
00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:34,048
- I wanted to say hello.
- I know, isn't this funny? Well, anyway...
53
00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:36,050
- Good night!
- Good night!
54
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:39,428
- Such a lovely couple. Uh, hello!
- Huh?
55
00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:43,015
Listen, why don't you come in for
a second and have a drink with us?
56
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:45,559
- Oh, oh, well, that'd be fine.
- We'd love that.
57
00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:49,563
- She makes great Irish coffee.
- There's a movie I wanna watch.
58
00:03:49,647 --> 00:03:51,941
I want you to
give me a treadmill lesson.
59
00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:55,819
Oh, listen, if I can figure it out,
then believe me, anybody can.
60
00:03:58,364 --> 00:04:01,408
- I don't know what I'm doing.
- No, please, it's easy.
61
00:04:01,492 --> 00:04:04,119
Wonderful book they've given me.
I'm at level five.
62
00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:06,705
What? You're that advanced?
I only got to level two.
63
00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:08,582
I work out all the time.
Look at these diagrams.
64
00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:11,043
- That's amazing.
- Can't understand this.
65
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:14,088
- Let me see.
- Yeah, well, see this.
66
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:17,716
Now let me show you
a mint 1933 airmail.
67
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:21,762
Very rare and very beautiful.
Look at that.
68
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:25,599
And this plate block is quite unique
because it has a flaw in the engraving.
69
00:04:25,683 --> 00:04:28,477
- See if you can see it.
- It's hard for me actually.
70
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,688
Give you a little hint.
Right down here in the corner.
71
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,482
- Oh, that little tiny thing there?
- Yeah.
72
00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,567
- That makes it quite valuable, you see.
- Aha.
73
00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:38,612
And I just got a commemorative set
that are going to be quite valuable.
74
00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:42,449
- Look at the color. All of these...
- Listen,
75
00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:44,910
- we're probably keeping you up, right?
- Oh, no, this is wonderful.
76
00:04:44,994 --> 00:04:47,121
- I should be going. Car...
- What do you do, if I may ask?
77
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,206
Me, I'm in book publishing.
I work up at Harper's.
78
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:50,332
- Are you really?
- Yeah.
79
00:04:50,416 --> 00:04:53,127
- I own an old cinema. Having it redone.
- Oh.
80
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:56,463
Used to have a string of three,
but business is not what it used to be.
81
00:04:56,547 --> 00:04:58,882
Look at these presidentials,
look at the color work.
82
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,467
Even the perforations are intact.
83
00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:02,511
Where's Carol?
I should really be going.
84
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:03,595
Oh, really?
85
00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:05,514
- Yeah, I mean...
- Coffee's ready.
86
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,725
- Oh, coffee. I forgot coffee.
- Good.
87
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,102
We can get back to this later.
Come on in.
88
00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:14,606
Well, we never had any children,
but it's easy to empathize.
89
00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:17,818
- What college does your son attend?
- Brown!
90
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:20,654
- Nice color.
- That's funny.
91
00:05:20,738 --> 00:05:23,407
Paul never attended college.
He's self-made.
92
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,910
Always regretted it. I think knowledge
is the second most important thing.
93
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,955
First is health,
then knowledge, then money.
94
00:05:31,457 --> 00:05:34,001
- It's amazing how time will just...
- And do you work?
95
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:37,171
Huh? Do I? Oh! Well, actually,
96
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:41,216
I used to work at an ad agency,
but that was many years ago.
97
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,511
I've been seriously thinking
of starting a little restaurant.
98
00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:45,637
Oh, really?
99
00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:48,849
Yeah, but, well, Larry,
he's trying to talk me out of it.
100
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,142
She's a great cook, really.
101
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,561
Her duck and fennel omelet
on a bed of scallops...
102
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,897
in hollandaise sauce with truffles
and sweetbreads will make you...
103
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,983
snap into a fetal position and lay
on your bed screaming for a month.
104
00:05:58,067 --> 00:05:59,276
He loves to tease me,
105
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,196
but actually he really
loves exotic food.
106
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,865
My weakness is any rich dessert.
Cream, butter.
107
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,075
Oh, really?
108
00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:09,495
Listen, I'll fix you dessert that'll
make your eyeballs roll up.
109
00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,872
You'll have to exercise
a month to work it off.
110
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,083
We're going to Le Cirque
for our anniversary.
111
00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:15,209
No, really?
112
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:17,252
- Yes, 28 years in November.
- Really?
113
00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:19,380
What do you buy the woman
who has everything?
114
00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:21,924
We already have
twin cemetery plots.
115
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:25,427
I always think a Bentley
is in good taste.
116
00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:27,679
Or you can go the route
that I went with her.
117
00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:30,099
On our 20th, I got her some
very lovely handkerchiefs.
118
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:32,226
Yeah, but, you know,
they had my initials on them.
119
00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,395
It was very high class.
I didn't even know her size.
120
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,650
I'm going over.
121
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:43,821
Jesus, couldn't you keep
the conversation going longer?
122
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:47,491
- I'm signaling you frantically.
- I was trying to be neighborly.
123
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:51,662
Neighborly? If this guy showed me
his stamp collection one more time...
124
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:55,082
My favorite thing in life
is to look at canceled postage.
125
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,167
Oh, come on, Larry.
It was sweet.
126
00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,670
They're looking forward
to their anniversary.
127
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,714
Yeah, and I'm looking forward
to seeing that Bob Hope movie.
128
00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:04,758
I don't know why
they put it on so late.
129
00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:06,885
Do you think
that's gonna happen to us?
130
00:07:06,969 --> 00:07:07,886
What?
131
00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:10,013
Well, that we'll become like them.
132
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:13,183
Just another dull, aging couple
with our little walks...
133
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:16,437
- We are a dull, aging couple.
- ... our TV, our lox and bagels...
134
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,814
and our twin cemetery plots.
135
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:22,818
No, we should be as lucky as them to
be in their physical shape at their age.
136
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,863
They look great. Did you see
the dumbbells this guy lifts?
137
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,573
If I lifted dumbbells like that,
138
00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:30,617
I would get a hernia the size
of the San Andreas Fault.
139
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:32,703
How often do you think
they make love?
140
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:36,707
Oh, you know, probably
more than we do, in their shape.
141
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,334
I'm sure as much as once a week.
142
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,795
- Oh, I'm exhausted.
- Larry?
143
00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:45,299
- What?
- Do you still find me attractive?
144
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:48,969
Of course. What kind of question
is that? Of course I do.
145
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:52,556
Yeah, but we're not turning into
a pair of comfortable old shoes, are we?
146
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,726
Never comfortable. I don't think
you have to worry about that.
147
00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,062
How you guys doin'?
148
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,023
- Fine. We're gonna get this one.
- We're good.
149
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:04,735
That's very nice. Are we
gonna see you at Elaine's Thursday?
150
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,654
Oh, no,
Thursday's our Wagner opera.
151
00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:10,616
- Ted's coming to Elaine's with us.
- Ted? How is Ted?
152
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:13,327
- He seems to be doing well.
- I don't think he's...
153
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,662
- No, he's not doing well.
- I think he's glad he's divorced.
154
00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:18,332
Come on, he's not doing
well at all. He's not used to it.
155
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,251
I think he looks,
you know, like he's glad.
156
00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:23,337
What do you want to do?
You gonna browse or...
157
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,547
- We're gonna go to a movie.
- We're gonna go see Double Indemnity.
158
00:08:25,631 --> 00:08:27,674
- Why don't you come with us?
- What do you think?
159
00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:28,842
It starts in a little while.
160
00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:31,845
I'd have the police after her so fast
it'd make her head spin.
161
00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:36,058
They'd put her through the ringer,
and the things they would squeeze out.
162
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,352
You haven't got a single
thing to go on, Keyes.
163
00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:41,939
Oh, not too much. Just 26 years
experience, all the percentage there is,
164
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,691
and this hunk of
concrete in my stomach.
165
00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:48,695
- God, that movie was great, wasn't it?
- Yeah, it's one of my favorites.
166
00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:51,532
- I loved it.
- They were all wonderful in the picture.
167
00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:54,535
Who can we fix Ted up with?
There must be somebody in your office.
168
00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:56,203
- Ted?
- Yeah.
169
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,830
I don't know. I always thought
Ted had a crush on you.
170
00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:01,500
- Me?
- Yeah. Why are you so stunned?
171
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:04,503
Please! I adore him,
but he's like a girlfriend to me.
172
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,380
Now he's divorced, you know.
173
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:09,258
Do I detect a note of jealousy?
174
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,593
I had to call 911.
175
00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:15,764
- So what's the trouble?
- What's going on?
176
00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:19,309
She had a heart attack.
She's dead.
177
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:21,228
She's dead?
178
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,397
They're giving Mr. House
a sedative right now.
179
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,024
He's running around like crazy.
180
00:09:26,108 --> 00:09:28,235
I called EMS and they got here
as soon as they could.
181
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:30,696
- But it was too late.
- We just met them.
182
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,447
Awful, just awful.
183
00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:35,284
- What happened?
- Well, it's a classic coronary.
184
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:38,245
- She just went like that.
- Is there anything we can do?
185
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:41,957
Be good neighbors.
We've calmed him down.
186
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,459
Th-Th-The first time
we saw them was last night.
187
00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:47,588
- We just met them. We had coffee.
- Such a nice lady.
188
00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:49,590
- Nice lady.
- Sweet person.
189
00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:54,052
- God, okay.
- You look wonderful.
190
00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:56,972
- Oh, hello. Hi, Mr. House.
- Hi!
191
00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:59,057
- So sorry.
- Thank you for those wonderful flowers.
192
00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:01,101
- Oh, that's...
- It was quite nice of you.
193
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,562
Anything we can do,
anything you need, just tell us.
194
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:06,607
Anything at all.
It was just such a shock.
195
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:10,694
It was just so sudden.
She seemed so, well, healthy.
196
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,488
- She had a heart condition.
- She did?
197
00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:16,617
- She never mentioned it.
- She wouldn't have.
198
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:19,119
- No, right, well.
- If there's anything we can do.
199
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,204
- Yeah, anything.
- If you need anything, if you're lonely.
200
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:24,666
Very kind. You know, you owe me
a wonderful French dessert.
201
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:27,628
Oh, no, no, I haven't forgotten,
believe me. I haven't forgotten.
202
00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:29,630
Have a nice time.
You seem all gussied up.
203
00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:32,090
- We're going to the opera.
- Oh, enjoy!
204
00:10:32,174 --> 00:10:33,842
- My favorite.
- Good night.
205
00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:37,137
- Good night.
- Come on, we're gonna be late.
206
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:41,600
♪ Wie oft in Meeres
tiefsten Schlund ♪
207
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:46,480
♪ Stuerzt' ich voll
Sehnsucht mich hinab ♪
208
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:50,484
You know, I sit through the ice hockey
game and you watch the whole opera.
209
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:54,863
I can't listen to that much Wagner.
I start to get the urge to conquer Poland.
210
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:57,908
♪ Nirgends ein ♪♪
211
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:01,203
I think it's weird.
One night she's having coffee
212
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,372
and the next night they
carry her out in a rubber bag?
213
00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:06,333
I know, and she did not
look like she was ready to go.
214
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,293
Maybe this guy killed her.
215
00:11:08,377 --> 00:11:10,754
Like he's got a young tootsie
stashed somewhere.
216
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,589
No, not this...
You gotta see this guy.
217
00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:15,050
This guy gets his jollies from licking
the back of postage stamps.
218
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,301
He's a boring, old...
219
00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:19,137
I could see that, depending on
whose picture is on the stamp.
220
00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:23,392
She never once mentioned
that she had a heart condition.
221
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:25,602
What is she gonna say?
222
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:27,771
Hello, I'm Mrs. House,
and I have a bad heart.
223
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,106
She had no problem telling me
224
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,108
about her hysterectomy
in the first five minutes.
225
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:35,153
It's much easier to talk about
a hysterectomy than a heart condition.
226
00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:38,031
She liked eating high cholesterol
desserts. Is that what you said?
227
00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:41,159
- So she had one too many.
- No, no, she wasn't on a diet.
228
00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:44,037
- We discussed diets.
- So she wasn't on a diet.
229
00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:46,915
This would be a really
great way to kill somebody.
230
00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:49,543
- How?
- You clog their arteries...
231
00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:54,464
with whipped cream,
chocolate mousse, butter.
232
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:57,300
- They go like that.
- That's great.
233
00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:00,178
- Disgusting, but it's fatal.
- I love it.
234
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:01,471
Wouldn't that be great?
235
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,473
I'd like to French pastry
myself to death right now.
236
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,517
- I'll help you.
- I really would.
237
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,478
In fact, I'd like another piece
of pie right after this. Do I dare?
238
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:11,398
Are you gonna start a restaurant?
Are you serious about that?
239
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:14,651
'Cause if you do, count me in.
I wanna be part of that.
240
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,738
- Really.
- Really?
241
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:20,031
No, I don't know.
I mean, you serious?
242
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:22,367
Yes!
Oh, God, it'll be wonderful.
243
00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:24,202
What are you
encouraging her for?
244
00:12:24,286 --> 00:12:27,122
- She's a great cook.
- Well, thanks to you.
245
00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:30,333
It was his idea of
cooking lessons. So, I mean...
246
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:33,754
Yes, but a restaurant is a serious
business. You can't take that lightly.
247
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:36,715
- You can't be cavalier.
- I'm not being cavalier, Sy.
248
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,092
Do you know
how time-consuming it is?
249
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:41,136
- She'll be there every night.
- Absolutely.
250
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:43,430
- Look, look.
- They steal from you.
251
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:47,017
- But it's what I do.
- She'll cook. She's a pro.
252
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:51,188
She'll be cooking in the kitchen.
I'll be at the front, running the joint.
253
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:54,065
- Like Rick in Casablanca.
- Right.
254
00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:58,361
- I'm serious. It's not like a hobby.
- I'll be the first customer.
255
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:02,532
I was thinking of fixing
Ted up with Helen Dubin.
256
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:06,161
Then I figured they would just get into
an argument over penis envy or something.
257
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:09,414
- Oh.
- Poor guy suffers from it so.
258
00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:12,167
Didn't he seem
a little too cheerful?
259
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:14,753
No, he seemed like his
regular self to me, but, uh,
260
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:16,880
when you brought up the notion
of the restaurant,
261
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:20,300
- the guy lit up like Mr. Glowworm.
- The restaurant?
262
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:24,679
Yeah, he sees himself as
Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca.
263
00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:27,098
- I see him more as Peter Lorre...
- No, no, no,
264
00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:29,810
- ... wringing his hands.
- I mean, Mr. House.
265
00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:32,312
Didn't he seem
a little too cheerful to you?
266
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:35,065
- Mr. House, our next-door widower?
- Yes, yes.
267
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:40,320
He seemed too composed for a man
whose wife just died, don't you think?
268
00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:43,740
Jesus, what do you want the guy to do,
walk down the street sobbing hysterically?
269
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,158
I don't know. All I know is,
270
00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:48,662
they were supposedly looking
forward to their anniversary.
271
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:53,416
If I suddenly dropped dead,
wouldn't you sob for months or years?
272
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,253
Don't make those kind of jokes, okay?
I don't like those remarks.
273
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:59,422
Meanwhile, I'm the guy
who needs a physical checkup.
274
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:04,094
I don't know. To me,
he seemed just a little too perky.
275
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,138
Now, suddenly, he wants
his French desserts...
276
00:14:07,222 --> 00:14:09,391
and "Have a nice time
at the opera."
277
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,935
And, my God,
"You're certainly dressed up."
278
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,688
- This guy should be a wreck.
- Right.
279
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:19,359
Meanwhile, I can't get the Flying Dutchman
theme out of my mind.
280
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:22,070
Remind me tomorrow to buy up
all the Wagner records in town
281
00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:23,905
and rent a chain saw.
282
00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:30,370
- Helen Dubin's wrong for Ted.
- Yeah?
283
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,705
She's too mousey.
284
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:34,291
He's a little mousey too.
They can have rodent time together.
285
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,251
They can eat cheese together.
286
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:39,129
Oh, Christ!
287
00:14:41,298 --> 00:14:46,595
Hello? Yes, yes, yes,
of course you woke us.
288
00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:50,599
Not everybody is up at 1:00 in the morning
watching the porn channel.
289
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:53,018
- I'll put her on.
- Who is it?
290
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:56,980
- Ted, for you.
- Oh! Ted, hi.
291
00:14:57,063 --> 00:15:00,734
I figured out how he killed her,
made it look like a coronary.
292
00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:03,028
He gagged her
and tied her to the treadmill,
293
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:06,615
and then, he turned the exercise
program up to Olympic levels.
294
00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:10,952
No, I... No.
295
00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:15,165
I just think this guy
is too perky.
296
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:18,752
He's not acting like a man
whose beloved of 28 years...
297
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:21,504
- died just a few days ago.
- Jesus, are you onto that?
298
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,798
- My God, I thought you were just joking.
- Yeah. I know.
299
00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,342
Let me speak to him.
300
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,094
What? Oh, just a second,
here's Larr...
301
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:31,097
Hey, listen.
She was not murdered.
302
00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:33,099
She had a heart attack.
It was a coronary.
303
00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:35,602
There was a doctor there.
He said, "He's an old man."
304
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:38,772
- How do you know he's a real doctor?
- I'm not going to touch that.
305
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,941
I'm tired. I want to go to sleep.
306
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:43,318
Wait, wait, wait a minute.
Put Carol back on.
307
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,153
I called about something else.
308
00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:49,491
Listen, I know a great location
for a restaurant.
309
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:53,370
Huh? Look at this.
310
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:56,790
- Isn't this great? These walls.
- Well, it's dark.
311
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:59,334
- It's like you have to go through a cave.
- Oh, I see.
312
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,962
- Then, you come out to this.
- Look at this, though.
313
00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:04,631
- Huh? Isn't it great?
- It's really so beautiful.
314
00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:07,300
But it's kind of out of the way
for a restaurant, isn't it?
315
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:09,469
- No, no, that's just the appeal.
- Uh-huh.
316
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:12,931
Because it's so romantic
tucked away back in here.
317
00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:14,265
You don't want street trade.
318
00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:17,310
You want a little out-of-the-way spot
that people hear about...
319
00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:20,855
and lovers go to, takes months to
get a reservation, very few tables.
320
00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:22,357
You've really thought this out.
321
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:26,027
I used to come here all the time
with Julie when we were married.
322
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:29,656
Used to walk around here.
Really beautiful at night. It's gorgeous.
323
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:30,740
It's beautiful.
324
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,784
I used to think, what
am I doing here with Julie?
325
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:36,287
We don't love each other anymore.
Made the moment doubly poignant.
326
00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:41,209
- Hi, how are you?
- Hi, how are you?
327
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:43,670
- Oh, my.
- These are my floating islands.
328
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:46,214
- I hope you like meringue.
- I love it. Come on in.
329
00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:48,717
- Well, um...
- This is unbelievable.
330
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,636
- Did you do it?
- I did do it.
331
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,681
- This has got... This is vanilla sauce here.
- Come on in.
332
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,474
I put little chocolate truffles.
Do you like ch...
333
00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:58,643
- Would you share it with me?
- She made these just for you.
334
00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:01,021
- No, it's too much for one.
- There's only half a dozen.
335
00:17:01,104 --> 00:17:03,356
- I'll make some coffee. Please.
- I'll make the coffee.
336
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,359
- You've done so much.
- I insist. Sit down, relax.
337
00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:08,570
Enjoy yourself.
You've been through enough.
338
00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:11,948
She worked on those for...
How you holding up?
339
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:15,285
Oh, I don't know.
I was thinking after a while...
340
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:18,329
I'd get away from here,
this place and all its memories.
341
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:22,375
- So, you have someone to go with or...
- I have a brother in Florida.
342
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:24,586
- Hoping he can get away for a while.
- Good, it's a good idea.
343
00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,921
- Do you like snorkeling?
- Snorkeling? No. I get nervous...
344
00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:29,299
when brightly colored fish
are staring at me face-to-face.
345
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,718
Hey, I've got some stamps
I wanted to show you.
346
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,303
Oh, stamps. Wow.
347
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,013
Look at these.
348
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:40,018
Hmm. Okay.
349
00:17:51,863 --> 00:17:53,573
Hmm?
350
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:23,645
This is really delicious.
You are an artist.
351
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,438
Well, thanks very much.
352
00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:29,567
Mmm. Was it a large,
uh, funeral?
353
00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:32,946
Oh, no.
We had very few friends, no family.
354
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:37,242
Just a simple affair, huh?
Well, they're the best, aren't they?
355
00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:39,869
- Yeah.
- I guess. Then you're laid to rest and...
356
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,164
You know, I was just... Where...
357
00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:45,834
Uh, where are
the twin cemetery plots?
358
00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:49,212
'Cause we were thinking that
that was just such a romantic idea.
359
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,673
Weren't we, Larry?
You know, Larry?
360
00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:54,968
Remember when we were talking
about the twin cemetery plots...
361
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:57,053
and, you know, how kind
of romantic that is?
362
00:18:57,137 --> 00:19:00,181
- Remember?
- Yes, yes! We were.
363
00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:04,185
Spending eternity with the beloved.
I sound like one of those guys now.
364
00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:07,730
- Yeah.
- But I was just wondering,
365
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:12,318
- where is the cemetery?
- Oh, it's, uh, in, uh, Nyack.
366
00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:14,696
We used to summer there occasionally.
367
00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:19,075
What's all that stuff
about twin cemetery plots?
368
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:21,703
- Listen, Larry.
- We never discussed it at all.
369
00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:24,497
I knew that you were trying to tell me
something, so I picked up on it quickly.
370
00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:27,959
I was in the kitchen, okay?
I was making the coffee?
371
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:31,921
There were no beans. So, I was
looking in his cupboards just to see.
372
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:34,465
And I came across this urn! Okay?
373
00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:37,677
I opened it and there were ashes in it.
374
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,054
Ashes? Funeral ashes?
Did you wash your hands?
375
00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:43,391
- Larry, he had her cremated.
- How'd you know it was her?
376
00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:46,311
They're ashes. What,
did they resemble Mrs. House?
377
00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:49,063
- Who else would it be?
- Anybody. It could be an associate,
378
00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:51,357
- an old relative, his accountant.
- Uh-huh. Oh.
379
00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:54,569
- His cat. Who knows?
- Right, right, hidden, huh? Hidden away.
380
00:19:54,652 --> 00:19:56,988
What do you mean?
The guy didn't do anything.
381
00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:59,908
Look, Larry, all I know is,
he lied, okay?
382
00:19:59,991 --> 00:20:03,953
- He lied!
- Look, maybe he's embarrassed.
383
00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:06,623
Maybe he didn't want to spend
eternity next to the beloved.
384
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:10,293
So he told us that or, you know,
what's the difference?
385
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,838
- Who are you calling?
- Ted!
386
00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:17,175
Oh, Jesus. Leave the guy alone.
387
00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:18,885
You know, he's a poor widower.
388
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:22,222
He wants to go on
a vacation or something.
389
00:20:22,305 --> 00:20:24,807
Yeah, where?
Oh, I know where.
390
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,894
- Snorkeling, right?
- So what? Different strokes.
391
00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:31,731
He has fun sitting at the bottom
of the water face-to-face with squid.
392
00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:33,816
Oh, I know, what about this?
393
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,611
What if they had a big insurance policy
or something like that?
394
00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:39,405
- Too much Double Indemnity.
- Uh-huh.
395
00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:42,742
Hi! Yeah, hi, it's me.
396
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:46,162
Listen, we were just in
our neighbor's apartment, right?
397
00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:49,916
Yeah, and get this.
I came across an urn with ashes in it.
398
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:53,169
Only, he says
he had his wife buried.
399
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:57,340
That's what you do
if you don't want an autopsy.
400
00:20:57,423 --> 00:21:00,301
If you don't want something discovered,
you know, like poison.
401
00:21:00,385 --> 00:21:02,762
Mmm, right.
402
00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:04,847
They'd have detected poison,
wouldn't they?
403
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:08,685
I don't know. There're a lot of different
kinds of exotic poisons, you know?
404
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,020
Yeah, but why would he...
why would he be lying?
405
00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,730
Why would he lie at all?
406
00:21:12,814 --> 00:21:15,441
You're up to poisons. You guys
are slipping into a mad obsession.
407
00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:18,820
Oh, would you do that? That'd be great,
'cause I'm not good at that kind of thing.
408
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:22,615
Okay? All right.
Well, I'll talk to you later. Okay, bye.
409
00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:25,785
Let's go to bed. Can we go to bed now?
410
00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:28,037
- Hey, I'm not tired.
- What do you mean, you're not tired?
411
00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:30,164
Ted's gonna check with
the funeral home tomorrow.
412
00:21:30,248 --> 00:21:31,624
Great.
413
00:21:31,708 --> 00:21:33,876
I don't understand why you're
not more fascinated with this.
414
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,212
We could be living
next door to a murderer.
415
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:38,214
- New York is a melting pot.
- Uh-huh.
416
00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:39,799
I'm used to it.
417
00:22:23,384 --> 00:22:25,053
Oh, my God.
418
00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:28,014
Hey, are you okay?
419
00:22:28,097 --> 00:22:30,516
Larry. Larry, I heard a noise.
420
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,478
I heard a noise in the hallway,
so I just, you know, I looked.
421
00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:35,897
I think Mr. House
was getting on the elevator.
422
00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:37,065
Yeah, you sure?
423
00:22:37,148 --> 00:22:40,276
Yeah, I'm... I'm almost certain
that it was him.
424
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:44,197
So what? So what? It's not a crime.
He can get on the elevator.
425
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,366
I know, but who would it be
at 1:30 in the morning?
426
00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:48,951
I was in a deep sleep.
What's the difference?
427
00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:52,246
You know how we complain about
living on the geriatric floor.
428
00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:54,248
- Do you know what I'm saying?
- Oh, right, so it was Mr. House.
429
00:22:54,332 --> 00:22:56,376
So he got on the elevator.
It's not a felony.
430
00:22:56,459 --> 00:22:58,628
The guy pays rent. He's entitled.
431
00:23:00,088 --> 00:23:02,840
Can you go back to bed?
This is crazy.
432
00:23:02,924 --> 00:23:05,093
You woke me out of a deep sleep.
I gotta get up early tomorrow.
433
00:23:05,176 --> 00:23:06,677
I know what I'm going to do.
434
00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:09,013
I'm gonna ring him up.
435
00:23:09,097 --> 00:23:11,099
I'm gonna ring his apartment.
I'm gonna see if he's home.
436
00:23:11,182 --> 00:23:14,310
- You're gonna ring Mr. House now?
- Yes, this is really...
437
00:23:14,394 --> 00:23:17,063
Don't ring Mr....
What are you doing? No.
438
00:23:17,146 --> 00:23:20,066
- Larry, don't!
- Don't ring Mr. House. This is a widower.
439
00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:21,401
- Leave the poor guy alone.
- Shh!
440
00:23:21,484 --> 00:23:22,860
You're crazy.
441
00:23:22,944 --> 00:23:25,905
Stop it. So you saw him go out.
It's not a crime.
442
00:23:25,988 --> 00:23:27,365
Two rings. He's not there yet.
443
00:23:27,448 --> 00:23:28,991
- Give me this.
- What are you doing?
444
00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:30,618
If you want to find out if
somebody left, call downstairs.
445
00:23:30,701 --> 00:23:32,662
- Call the person at the door.
- All right, I'll call him.
446
00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:34,247
- But keep ringing.
- Ask if someone went out.
447
00:23:34,330 --> 00:23:36,749
Yeah, sure, I'm gonna
keep ringing, you got it.
448
00:23:36,833 --> 00:23:39,085
- This is insane. What's gotten into you?
- What is he doing?
449
00:23:39,168 --> 00:23:41,129
Where is this guy
at 1:30 in the morning?
450
00:23:41,212 --> 00:23:44,090
It's none of your business.
He can go anyplace he wants.
451
00:23:45,383 --> 00:23:48,761
Hello? Yes, hello, this is Mrs. Lipton.
452
00:23:48,845 --> 00:23:51,597
Yes. Did anybody
just leave the building? I was just...
453
00:23:53,015 --> 00:23:56,436
You sure? You sure no one...
No. Okay. All right.
454
00:23:56,519 --> 00:23:59,230
Yes! Thank you.
455
00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:01,149
- Okay, are you happy?
- I don't believe this. I don't get it.
456
00:24:01,232 --> 00:24:04,068
Now, can we go back to bed?
For crying out loud, it's no big deal.
457
00:24:04,152 --> 00:24:05,903
You're making a mystery
where nothing exists.
458
00:24:05,987 --> 00:24:08,948
Let me think about this.
Okay, I got it. No, wait, listen to me.
459
00:24:09,031 --> 00:24:11,409
Larry, listen.
460
00:24:13,411 --> 00:24:15,455
- He got on the elevator...
- You know, I'm gonna...
461
00:24:15,538 --> 00:24:17,331
- No, no, listen to this.
- I'm gonna go to sleep.
462
00:24:17,415 --> 00:24:19,584
I don't wanna be standing here
in the middle of the night.
463
00:24:19,667 --> 00:24:22,628
He got on the elevator,
and he took it to the basement.
464
00:24:22,712 --> 00:24:25,673
Oh, great! Great, so what?
Now what do ya got?
465
00:24:25,756 --> 00:24:28,593
He has a car, right? He's got
the garage door key. He opened...
466
00:24:28,676 --> 00:24:30,970
So what? So what?
467
00:24:31,053 --> 00:24:33,514
- What do you mean, "So what?"
- So the next-door neighbor...
468
00:24:33,598 --> 00:24:36,184
went out in the middle of the night,
took his car, so he went someplace.
469
00:24:36,267 --> 00:24:41,230
- So I'm right, though. I mean, I'm right.
- So you're right. So big deal.
470
00:24:41,314 --> 00:24:43,983
But this kind of right
is going to put us in the toilet.
471
00:24:44,066 --> 00:24:46,652
You're suspicious. It says more about
your mind than about him.
472
00:24:46,736 --> 00:24:48,821
- What about your rigidity?
- Get into bed.
473
00:24:48,905 --> 00:24:52,325
- How about that point?
- What's wrong with you? Jesus.
474
00:25:06,088 --> 00:25:07,089
Hi!
475
00:25:16,682 --> 00:25:20,061
Jack? Jack, do you think you
could come upstairs today?
476
00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:22,522
- 'Cause I got a leak in the kitchen.
- Well, yeah.
477
00:25:22,605 --> 00:25:23,606
- You can?
- Sure.
478
00:25:23,689 --> 00:25:25,107
It will be this afternoon, right?
479
00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:27,401
- You're not gonna... Now?
- I'll be back in about a minute.
480
00:25:27,485 --> 00:25:29,487
- In a minute?
- Just wait a second. I'll be right back.
481
00:25:29,570 --> 00:25:31,614
Yeah, okay, all right. Aye, aye, aye.
482
00:25:35,785 --> 00:25:37,328
Oh, God.
483
00:27:51,420 --> 00:27:52,838
Hello?
484
00:27:52,922 --> 00:27:56,550
Ted, I'm in his apartment.
485
00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:03,307
The urn is missing. It's gone.
486
00:28:03,391 --> 00:28:06,727
Yeah, I think it might have been.
He had this satchel last night.
487
00:28:06,811 --> 00:28:07,853
He was carrying this bag
488
00:28:07,937 --> 00:28:10,064
and I think that might have been
what he had in the satchel.
489
00:28:10,147 --> 00:28:13,192
Listen, I'd get out of there
right away, if I were you.
490
00:28:13,275 --> 00:28:16,529
No, no, go. We'll talk more
from your apartment.
491
00:28:16,612 --> 00:28:19,657
He's not going snorkeling with his brother.
492
00:28:19,740 --> 00:28:22,076
He's got two tickets to Paris,
493
00:28:22,159 --> 00:28:24,745
and he's got reservations
at the Georges Cinq Hotel
494
00:28:24,829 --> 00:28:27,039
with a woman named Helen Moss.
495
00:28:27,123 --> 00:28:29,333
Oh, hi, how are you?
496
00:28:29,417 --> 00:28:30,960
- Good morning. How are you?
- Good.
497
00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:32,878
You get the notice on
the maintenance increase?
498
00:28:32,962 --> 00:28:34,255
No, when did that happen?
499
00:28:34,338 --> 00:28:37,216
I'm gonna look around,
see what else I can dig up here.
500
00:28:37,299 --> 00:28:41,971
Yeah. I'm telling you, this is just...
I... I'm just dizzy with freedom.
501
00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:45,099
This is just... This is the craziest
thing I've ever done.
502
00:28:45,182 --> 00:28:48,894
Yes, it's crazy. But soon we'll
be too old to do anything crazy.
503
00:28:48,978 --> 00:28:50,980
Go, leave, leave, leave.
504
00:30:05,679 --> 00:30:07,973
Hello?
505
00:30:08,057 --> 00:30:09,558
Oh, hi, yeah.
506
00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:13,604
I know, I... Yes, I miss you too.
507
00:30:14,897 --> 00:30:16,649
I did. I made all the arrangements.
508
00:30:19,068 --> 00:30:22,404
Yeah, look, I... Okay, I have to run.
509
00:30:22,488 --> 00:30:23,989
But I'll see you later, okay?
510
00:30:25,407 --> 00:30:26,450
Okay.
511
00:30:41,799 --> 00:30:43,259
Extension Five.
512
00:30:44,927 --> 00:30:49,181
Keep ringing, would you please?
'Cause I just talked to her.
513
00:30:50,808 --> 00:30:51,809
What?
514
00:30:52,685 --> 00:30:54,311
Okay.
515
00:30:54,395 --> 00:30:58,566
Uh, would you tell her...
Yes, tell her that Tom called.
516
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:02,278
Tom! Thank you.
517
00:31:16,917 --> 00:31:18,878
So I thought
your rewrites were great.
518
00:31:18,961 --> 00:31:21,422
I really think you helped
your book, you know?
519
00:31:21,505 --> 00:31:24,341
- It's dense a little bit...
- I don't want it to be too transparent.
520
00:31:24,425 --> 00:31:26,927
That's something you're never
gonna have to worry about.
521
00:31:27,011 --> 00:31:30,514
This book makes Finnegan's Wake
look like airplane reading. But it's long.
522
00:31:30,598 --> 00:31:32,391
You know, you're
the only editor in the world...
523
00:31:32,474 --> 00:31:35,394
I'll take suggestions from,
but even you shouldn't push it.
524
00:31:35,477 --> 00:31:39,315
I'm not pushing. I think the book
is great, absolutely great, you know.
525
00:31:39,398 --> 00:31:41,901
How much, how much of Dorothy
is you? As I was reading it...
526
00:31:41,984 --> 00:31:45,654
I kept thinking, how much did you
base it on your own life?
527
00:31:45,738 --> 00:31:48,908
- Well, I was a waitress.
- Mm-hmm.
528
00:31:48,991 --> 00:31:51,952
Um, I lived with a poet.
I was a film critic.
529
00:31:52,036 --> 00:31:54,038
Right,
but not a blackjack dealer, right?
530
00:31:54,121 --> 00:31:57,082
No, but I put myself through
school playing poker.
531
00:31:57,166 --> 00:32:00,878
- Oh, really? Do you still play?
- No, but I still know how.
532
00:32:00,961 --> 00:32:03,756
- Yes. Are you good?
- Yeah.
533
00:32:03,839 --> 00:32:05,883
Because maybe you could
give me some pointers.
534
00:32:05,966 --> 00:32:08,427
I could turn your game
around in two hours.
535
00:32:08,510 --> 00:32:11,055
Could ya? That's great.
536
00:32:11,138 --> 00:32:14,141
You know, you're...
You have all these skills.
537
00:32:14,224 --> 00:32:16,936
You're beautiful,
and you can write so well.
538
00:32:17,019 --> 00:32:19,939
Now it turns out you play poker.
This is too good to be true.
539
00:32:20,022 --> 00:32:22,650
- I wouldn't say beautiful.
- Oh, I would.
540
00:32:22,733 --> 00:32:25,819
But I do have tremendous sex appeal.
541
00:32:25,903 --> 00:32:27,529
Okay.
542
00:32:27,613 --> 00:32:31,951
You sold me.
A-A-Are you seeing anybody?
543
00:32:32,034 --> 00:32:34,912
No, don't let my confidence
fool you. It's a facade.
544
00:32:34,995 --> 00:32:36,705
Why do you ask?
545
00:32:36,789 --> 00:32:39,124
Because I have a friend
who became single recently,
546
00:32:39,208 --> 00:32:41,835
and I know he would get
a big kick out of you.
547
00:32:41,919 --> 00:32:45,839
Well. So when do you want
your poker lessons?
548
00:32:45,923 --> 00:32:48,884
Uh, next week.
I could take you to lunch.
549
00:32:48,968 --> 00:32:51,804
We could, uh, put you
on my expense account.
550
00:32:51,887 --> 00:32:55,808
You could teach me when
to bet and when to fold.
551
00:32:55,891 --> 00:32:58,143
How about a cheeseburger right now?
552
00:32:58,227 --> 00:33:01,772
Now? That's a possibility.
You know, we could do this...
553
00:33:01,855 --> 00:33:02,940
Hello?
554
00:33:04,441 --> 00:33:06,110
Yes?
555
00:33:08,112 --> 00:33:10,280
Where are you?
556
00:33:10,364 --> 00:33:12,032
Is everything okay?
557
00:33:13,158 --> 00:33:16,745
Really? No, I could. Sure.
558
00:33:16,829 --> 00:33:22,001
I could. Yeah. I need, I need,
you know, five minutes or so.
559
00:33:22,084 --> 00:33:26,130
Okay. Yes, yes, I know
where it is. Okay. Hold on.
560
00:33:26,213 --> 00:33:29,425
I can't do it. I have to... My wife...
I have a little thing I have to do.
561
00:33:29,508 --> 00:33:32,511
I'll do the cheeseburger
with ya next week or something.
562
00:33:32,594 --> 00:33:34,221
Story of my life.
563
00:33:35,889 --> 00:33:38,851
What do you mean you snuck
into his apartment? Are you nuts?
564
00:33:38,934 --> 00:33:40,728
Stop being such a fuddy-dud.
565
00:33:40,811 --> 00:33:42,813
- A fuddy-dud? What are you talking about?
- Yeah.
566
00:33:42,896 --> 00:33:47,359
That's a crime. You can't do that.
That's burglary. Breaking and entering.
567
00:33:47,443 --> 00:33:50,029
What has gotten into you lately,
for crying out loud?
568
00:33:50,112 --> 00:33:52,865
- Save a little craziness for menopause.
- It was a cinch.
569
00:33:52,948 --> 00:33:56,035
- I took the key, and I just let myself in.
- Look, I don't wanna...
570
00:33:56,118 --> 00:33:59,121
You'll wind up rooming with John Gotti.
You can't do that.
571
00:33:59,204 --> 00:34:02,875
You can't just steal the key
and go into somebody's apartment.
572
00:34:02,958 --> 00:34:05,836
Listen, he's not going snorkeling
with his brother, okay?
573
00:34:05,919 --> 00:34:07,963
I don't wanna know.
I don't wanna be an accessory.
574
00:34:08,047 --> 00:34:11,008
He's going to Paris to a fancy hotel
with a woman named Helen Moss.
575
00:34:11,091 --> 00:34:13,886
- Tell Ted. I don't wanna know.
- I told Ted.
576
00:34:13,969 --> 00:34:17,973
- You told Ted before you told me?
- Yeah, 'cause he's more open-minded.
577
00:34:18,057 --> 00:34:21,393
Yes, I know, I'm... I'm a bore,
'cause I don't break the law.
578
00:34:21,477 --> 00:34:25,355
- I live within the Constitution.
- Listen, plus he got rid of the urn.
579
00:34:25,439 --> 00:34:28,358
- I don't want to hear.
- He talked on the phone with a woman.
580
00:34:28,442 --> 00:34:32,571
- How do you know?
- He came back while I was there.
581
00:34:32,654 --> 00:34:34,740
- He did?
- Yeah, but I hid under the bed.
582
00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:37,826
- You hid under his bed?
- He didn't see me at all.
583
00:34:39,203 --> 00:34:43,248
I cannot believe this.
My stomach is curdling.
584
00:34:43,332 --> 00:34:45,959
He was very lovey-dovey
with this bimbo.
585
00:34:46,043 --> 00:34:49,588
He kept saying stuff like, you know,
"Don't worry, it's gonna be all right.
586
00:34:49,671 --> 00:34:51,632
We're gonna be together."
That kind of thing.
587
00:34:51,715 --> 00:34:53,926
But what would you have done
if he found you out?
588
00:34:54,009 --> 00:34:57,805
- I couldn't think that far ahead.
- You're talking two seconds.
589
00:34:57,888 --> 00:34:59,973
He could have looked under the bed
and there you are.
590
00:35:00,057 --> 00:35:03,519
Larry, listen. And then, listen to this.
He calls this woman back.
591
00:35:03,602 --> 00:35:07,064
- Probably this Helen Moss woman, right?
- I don't wanna know. Leave me alone.
592
00:35:07,147 --> 00:35:10,150
When he calls her back,
she's not there.
593
00:35:10,234 --> 00:35:13,153
Then he leaves this message,
and he says,
594
00:35:13,237 --> 00:35:16,949
"Tell her Tom called."
Know what I'm saying? Tom!
595
00:35:17,032 --> 00:35:20,035
- Tom, Larry.
- I know, I get it. His name is Paul.
596
00:35:20,119 --> 00:35:22,454
- But I don't care. I don't wanna hear.
- Okay, well, I'll tell ya.
597
00:35:22,538 --> 00:35:25,999
I thought I did... I thought I did
a great job and so did Ted.
598
00:35:26,083 --> 00:35:28,961
I don't think a private eye
could have done any better than me.
599
00:35:29,044 --> 00:35:32,214
I put everything back where I found it.
I was very careful.
600
00:35:32,297 --> 00:35:34,883
- I made one mistake.
- What?
601
00:35:34,967 --> 00:35:37,636
I left my reading glasses on his table.
602
00:35:39,513 --> 00:35:42,141
Oh, hello, hi. I thought I'd
bring you some chocolate mousse.
603
00:35:42,224 --> 00:35:44,017
I know how much you
enjoyed the last dessert.
604
00:35:44,101 --> 00:35:44,935
Thank you.
605
00:35:45,018 --> 00:35:47,437
I thought I'd give you, you know,
another shot at something delicious.
606
00:35:47,521 --> 00:35:49,064
You want me to serve that for you?
607
00:35:49,148 --> 00:35:51,108
Because you should
have it while it's still fresh.
608
00:35:51,191 --> 00:35:53,318
Get some plates and you can divide
it up and we can all have some.
609
00:35:53,402 --> 00:35:55,154
- That's a great idea.
- I'll get some plates.
610
00:35:55,237 --> 00:35:57,823
That'd be really good.
Okay, here, I was here.
611
00:35:57,906 --> 00:36:00,492
Right in here
somewhere. The first... Wait.
612
00:36:04,288 --> 00:36:07,249
How are you doing? You need...
613
00:36:07,332 --> 00:36:10,586
- You need any help?
- No, I'm fine. I'll be right in.
614
00:36:10,669 --> 00:36:14,590
Okay, great.
You're gonna ruin everything.
615
00:36:20,554 --> 00:36:22,681
What are you doing?
616
00:36:24,558 --> 00:36:25,392
What?
617
00:36:25,475 --> 00:36:28,187
Are you okay? Can... Can...
Can we do anything for you?
618
00:36:28,270 --> 00:36:31,190
- Coffee or tea?
- Tea! I'd like to have tea.
619
00:36:31,273 --> 00:36:33,400
- You know, I found your glasses.
- Mine?
620
00:36:33,483 --> 00:36:35,611
- These are yours, aren't they?
- Yes! No!
621
00:36:35,694 --> 00:36:39,031
- No, no, no.
- They are. These ones are.
622
00:36:39,114 --> 00:36:41,325
- They are mine. Honey, they're mine.
- What a coincidence.
623
00:36:41,408 --> 00:36:44,036
You know what happened? The other
night I must have left them here.
624
00:36:44,119 --> 00:36:46,288
- Did you? I didn't notice that.
- It's the strangest thing.
625
00:36:46,371 --> 00:36:49,791
Because remember, you were saying that
you thought I left them at your mother's.
626
00:36:49,875 --> 00:36:51,835
- Left them at my mother's.
- That's right.
627
00:36:51,919 --> 00:36:54,338
- That mousse looks fabulous.
- It's so good.
628
00:36:54,421 --> 00:36:56,715
Are you looking forward to going
snorkeling in the Caribbean?
629
00:36:56,798 --> 00:36:57,633
Very much.
630
00:36:57,716 --> 00:37:00,510
It's funny, I found those glasses
under my bed.
631
00:37:00,594 --> 00:37:03,889
I must have dropped them
and they probably got kicked under.
632
00:37:03,972 --> 00:37:06,558
Kicked under, right. What she'll do,
she'll always drop things...
633
00:37:06,642 --> 00:37:08,560
- and she'll kick them around the house.
- They fall...
634
00:37:08,644 --> 00:37:10,729
- The mousse?
- I'd love to have some mousse.
635
00:37:10,812 --> 00:37:12,940
You kicked mousse under the bed
in the house. Remember that?
636
00:37:13,023 --> 00:37:15,234
- I remember.
- It took six months to get the...
637
00:37:22,991 --> 00:37:25,619
Hi. Sorry I'm late.
638
00:37:25,702 --> 00:37:28,705
- The traffic's murder.
- Where are we going?
639
00:37:28,789 --> 00:37:31,250
I looked up Helen Moss
in the phone book.
640
00:37:31,333 --> 00:37:32,918
- It was just H. Moss.
- Right.
641
00:37:33,001 --> 00:37:34,628
So I...
642
00:37:34,711 --> 00:37:37,256
It's on Bank Street. We're gonna
go down there and do surveillance.
643
00:37:37,339 --> 00:37:40,342
I got a whole lot of food.
644
00:37:47,015 --> 00:37:49,935
- There's her house.
- Right. So we should just sit and wait.
645
00:37:50,018 --> 00:37:53,730
- Yeah.
- Okay.
646
00:38:03,407 --> 00:38:05,826
Maybe he thought that if he...
he divorced her,
647
00:38:05,909 --> 00:38:07,744
she'd hit him for a ton of alimony.
648
00:38:07,828 --> 00:38:10,289
Or maybe, maybe she controls
the family fortune.
649
00:38:10,372 --> 00:38:13,208
Yeah, maybe we're wrong, Ted.
Maybe we're just, you know...
650
00:38:13,292 --> 00:38:15,585
Maybe she died of natural causes
like the doctor said.
651
00:38:15,669 --> 00:38:18,714
And we're just two people
with hyperactive imaginations
652
00:38:18,797 --> 00:38:21,508
whose lives need a shot of adrenaline.
653
00:38:21,591 --> 00:38:23,510
Does yours? I'll tell you,
mine needs something.
654
00:38:23,593 --> 00:38:25,304
Yeah? What's that there?
655
00:38:25,387 --> 00:38:27,431
A jelly doughnut.
You want a jelly doughnut?
656
00:38:27,514 --> 00:38:28,348
Ooh!
657
00:38:28,432 --> 00:38:30,309
Come on, come on,
you gotta get into it.
658
00:38:30,392 --> 00:38:32,311
- Okay.
- Oh, my God, look, look!
659
00:38:32,394 --> 00:38:34,896
- What, what, what? Look what?
- Look, look, look!
660
00:38:34,980 --> 00:38:37,524
Helen! Helen! Duck, duck.
661
00:38:37,607 --> 00:38:39,568
- Duck, oh, God.
- Helen!
662
00:38:41,236 --> 00:38:43,530
- It's not her.
- It's not her?
663
00:38:43,613 --> 00:38:46,241
No, it's not her.
664
00:38:46,325 --> 00:38:48,410
- What?
- Oh, God.
665
00:38:48,493 --> 00:38:52,122
You really have this...
worked out, don't you?
666
00:38:57,544 --> 00:39:00,464
Figured she'd come out
and go to work, you know?
667
00:39:00,547 --> 00:39:04,343
Maybe she doesn't work. Maybe she's
like you and she has writer's hours.
668
00:39:05,886 --> 00:39:08,847
I'm writing a play about something
that happened to you and me.
669
00:39:08,930 --> 00:39:12,184
Oh, God. Oh, dear. What?
670
00:39:12,267 --> 00:39:16,021
Remember that time you and I
and Larry and Julie...
671
00:39:16,104 --> 00:39:18,065
were all on that
eating tour of France?
672
00:39:18,148 --> 00:39:21,234
- Oh, God, yeah.
- And they wandered off.
673
00:39:21,318 --> 00:39:22,903
They forgot to pick us up
674
00:39:22,986 --> 00:39:24,946
and we had to share that
bed and breakfast place.
675
00:39:25,030 --> 00:39:27,491
Right. Do you remember
those wonderful cottages?
676
00:39:27,574 --> 00:39:32,079
And I remember that
we shared a bedroom together.
677
00:39:32,162 --> 00:39:34,623
- Yeah, but not a bed.
- No, not a... Well...
678
00:39:34,706 --> 00:39:38,543
God, you were too
gentlemanly to suggest that.
679
00:39:38,627 --> 00:39:42,047
- Well, it's not that I didn't think of it.
- No?
680
00:39:42,130 --> 00:39:44,508
I knew what was
going on in your mind.
681
00:39:44,591 --> 00:39:49,054
'Cause of the way you kept plying me
with Chateau Margaux, remember?
682
00:39:49,137 --> 00:39:52,891
Could have been our little secret.
Then you passed out.
683
00:39:52,974 --> 00:39:55,060
Well, you...
684
00:39:55,143 --> 00:39:57,646
Yeah. God.
685
00:39:57,729 --> 00:39:59,898
It seems like
a long time ago, doesn't it?
686
00:40:02,275 --> 00:40:03,902
Not that long ago.
687
00:40:17,499 --> 00:40:19,835
- Look, look, look.
- Oh.
688
00:40:21,253 --> 00:40:24,339
- Helen! Duck, duck, duck.
- Oh, God, yeah.
689
00:40:24,423 --> 00:40:26,716
- She didn't see us. She didn't see us.
- No?
690
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:29,428
- That's gotta be her. I'll bet it's...
- Are you sure?
691
00:40:29,511 --> 00:40:32,097
- She answers to Helen.
- She answers to Helen. She's pretty.
692
00:40:32,180 --> 00:40:34,975
- Yeah.
- She's... What's she doing?
693
00:40:35,058 --> 00:40:37,102
- She's getting a cab.
- She's getting a cab.
694
00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:39,104
- Keep down. Keep down.
- Okay, don't worry. Don't worry.
695
00:40:39,187 --> 00:40:40,689
- I'm gonna follow her.
- All right.
696
00:41:14,890 --> 00:41:17,225
- Watch your step.
- Oh.
697
00:41:17,309 --> 00:41:20,479
- Very steep. Be careful.
- Oh, this is beautiful.
698
00:41:20,562 --> 00:41:22,105
- Isn't it?
- Yeah.
699
00:41:22,189 --> 00:41:24,441
We only show revivals now.
This week we have Fred Astaire.
700
00:41:24,524 --> 00:41:25,358
Mm-hmm.
701
00:41:25,442 --> 00:41:27,068
Next week we have
an Orson Welles festival.
702
00:41:27,152 --> 00:41:27,986
Oh, yeah?
703
00:41:28,069 --> 00:41:31,615
That'll be about the last thing
we do before we start renovating.
704
00:41:31,698 --> 00:41:36,286
- Oh. Oh, Paul.
- Oh, come on. There's nobody around.
705
00:41:36,369 --> 00:41:39,873
- Come on.
- Okay.
706
00:41:39,956 --> 00:41:43,251
I've never been behind
a movie screen before like this.
707
00:41:43,335 --> 00:41:45,337
- Strange, isn't it?
- Yeah.
708
00:41:45,420 --> 00:41:48,798
Used to be a first-run house when the
neighborhood was better. Beautiful, huh?
709
00:41:48,882 --> 00:41:52,344
- Look around.
- All these mirrors.
710
00:41:52,427 --> 00:41:54,804
It used to be all mirrors
and it was quite beautiful.
711
00:41:54,888 --> 00:41:56,515
I'm having all this
broken glass replaced
712
00:41:56,598 --> 00:41:58,600
as we go along with this renovation.
713
00:41:58,683 --> 00:42:00,852
You know, they used
to have stage shows here.
714
00:42:00,936 --> 00:42:03,605
Now, of course,
we only show old movies.
715
00:42:03,688 --> 00:42:07,025
- It has such a lonely feeling.
- That's 'cause I'm the only one here.
716
00:42:07,108 --> 00:42:09,194
- And my assistant, Mrs. Dalton.
- Oh.
717
00:42:09,277 --> 00:42:11,905
I'm gonna have this place fixed up,
then I'm gonna sell it.
718
00:42:11,988 --> 00:42:13,907
The money's gonna come in handy.
719
00:42:13,990 --> 00:42:15,951
It sure will.
720
00:42:16,034 --> 00:42:17,744
- What's that noise?
- Where?
721
00:42:17,827 --> 00:42:19,287
- Oh.
- Oh, Mrs. Dalton.
722
00:42:19,371 --> 00:42:23,291
- I didn't know you were here so early.
- I didn't know anyone was here.
723
00:42:23,375 --> 00:42:26,044
I'm sorry. I... I heard the noise
and I thought...
724
00:42:26,127 --> 00:42:29,214
- It's quite all right. Quite all right.
- I apologize.
725
00:42:29,297 --> 00:42:32,092
I'd love to really get an acting job.
726
00:42:32,175 --> 00:42:35,762
- I've had it with this modeling.
- Maybe you won't have to work at all.
727
00:42:50,527 --> 00:42:52,862
Oh, geez. Oh.
728
00:42:55,949 --> 00:42:57,617
Oh, my God.
729
00:43:03,331 --> 00:43:06,251
- What's the matter?
- Larry, come with me, okay?
730
00:43:06,334 --> 00:43:08,587
- Oh, Jesus, I was fast asleep.
- Come on.
731
00:43:08,670 --> 00:43:13,174
- I was dreaming of round card girls.
- Okay, looks like he's gone.
732
00:43:13,258 --> 00:43:15,552
- Yeah, yeah, he's gone.
- Oh, Christ, not that again.
733
00:43:15,635 --> 00:43:18,638
Listen, Larry, I want to take
another look around his apartment.
734
00:43:18,722 --> 00:43:21,349
What are you talkin' about?
Where are you goin'?
735
00:43:21,433 --> 00:43:23,935
- Listen. He'll never be back.
- It's 1:00 in the...
736
00:43:24,019 --> 00:43:24,853
What?
737
00:43:24,936 --> 00:43:26,438
He's not coming back
for at least an hour.
738
00:43:26,521 --> 00:43:28,898
- What you do? You got his key?
- Yeah.
739
00:43:28,982 --> 00:43:31,109
You're kidding. What are you
talking about? You can't do...
740
00:43:31,192 --> 00:43:32,986
Why, 'cause you followed him
to the movie house?
741
00:43:33,069 --> 00:43:34,404
You said there was nothing happening.
742
00:43:34,487 --> 00:43:37,991
Wait a minute. He was with
this young model type.
743
00:43:38,074 --> 00:43:40,785
- And they were talking about money.
- Well, so what?
744
00:43:40,869 --> 00:43:44,080
- So, that's the motive.
- What... Hey, listen to me. Come here.
745
00:43:44,164 --> 00:43:46,458
- What are you talking about?
- Come here. Wait a minute.
746
00:43:46,541 --> 00:43:48,627
I've been thinking about you.
I think you gotta see...
747
00:43:48,710 --> 00:43:50,712
- You gotta go back to your shrink.
- Huh? But, I...
748
00:43:50,795 --> 00:43:52,964
- I want you to see Dr. Ballard again.
- I went for two years.
749
00:43:53,048 --> 00:43:56,718
I know, but... You know how
General Motors will recall defective cars?
750
00:43:56,801 --> 00:43:59,220
- You gotta go in for a tune-up.
- We'll be in and out in five minutes.
751
00:43:59,304 --> 00:44:02,015
- No. I'm telling you, I'm your husband.
- Five, only...
752
00:44:02,098 --> 00:44:04,309
- I command you to sleep, sleep.
- No, I...
753
00:44:04,392 --> 00:44:07,103
- I command it. I command it.
- All I can tell you is,
754
00:44:07,187 --> 00:44:08,480
if this had been a few years ago,
755
00:44:08,563 --> 00:44:10,106
you would have
been doing the same thing.
756
00:44:10,190 --> 00:44:13,485
'Cause if you recall,
we solved a mystery.
757
00:44:13,568 --> 00:44:15,695
Yep, we solved a mystery once.
Remember?
758
00:44:15,779 --> 00:44:16,655
Yes.
759
00:44:16,738 --> 00:44:18,698
- It was the noises in the attic mystery.
- In the country house.
760
00:44:18,782 --> 00:44:22,494
The bluebird, I know, but that was
a sweet mystery. This is murder.
761
00:44:22,577 --> 00:44:25,246
Well, that... You agree, right?
762
00:44:25,330 --> 00:44:27,666
- It's murder, Larry.
- No, no, I forbid you.
763
00:44:27,749 --> 00:44:31,670
I forbid you to go. I'm forbidding...
Is that what you do when I forbid you?
764
00:44:31,753 --> 00:44:35,632
If that's what you... I'm not gonna be
forbidding you a lot, if you do...
765
00:44:40,595 --> 00:44:42,931
- Oh, damn it.
- Don't do this.
766
00:44:43,014 --> 00:44:46,101
We should be asleep now in one
of our many cuddling positions.
767
00:44:46,184 --> 00:44:48,311
- Please be quiet, Larry. Be quiet.
- This is wrong.
768
00:44:48,395 --> 00:44:50,689
You're gonna wake up
the neighbors, okay? Okay, I got it.
769
00:44:50,772 --> 00:44:52,857
This is no good,
I promise you.
770
00:44:52,941 --> 00:44:55,026
This could only lead
to great unhappiness.
771
00:44:55,110 --> 00:44:55,944
Relax, okay?
772
00:44:56,027 --> 00:44:59,489
I can't relax.
I'm in a strange man's apartment...
773
00:44:59,572 --> 00:45:02,409
- in my, my T-shirt and pajamas.
- Don't worry about it.
774
00:45:02,492 --> 00:45:05,245
- Now, Ted told me to try something here.
- What do you mean, Ted told you?
775
00:45:05,328 --> 00:45:07,372
- Who? Ted? What is he, your mentor?
- "Last number dialed."
776
00:45:07,455 --> 00:45:09,833
Ted is a sick schmuck.
He's home and we're...
777
00:45:09,916 --> 00:45:12,085
- Just be quiet for a second, all right?
- What if he comes back?
778
00:45:12,168 --> 00:45:14,421
- Shh!
- My heart is...
779
00:45:14,504 --> 00:45:16,631
- Larry!
- Waldron.
780
00:45:16,715 --> 00:45:18,967
- Uh, who?
- Who is this? Who do you want?
781
00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:23,346
Who's this? Do you know anybody
named Waldron? Waldron?
782
00:45:23,430 --> 00:45:25,306
Hang the phone up!
Hang the phone up now!
783
00:45:25,390 --> 00:45:28,560
- Oh, great, they hung up on us.
- Good!
784
00:45:28,643 --> 00:45:30,770
- Just let me think for a second. Waldron?
- I wanna go home.
785
00:45:30,854 --> 00:45:33,231
- I wanna go back to bed.
- Helen Moss. Okay, he used the name Tom.
786
00:45:33,314 --> 00:45:35,275
So, Tom Waldron.
We gotta run a check on that.
787
00:45:35,358 --> 00:45:37,694
Run a check? What,
beat it down to the morgue?
788
00:45:37,777 --> 00:45:38,820
You got all the jargon.
789
00:45:38,903 --> 00:45:40,280
- Where are you going?
- Come on.
790
00:45:40,363 --> 00:45:43,575
- I'm not a night person. I don't wanna be...
- Shh!
791
00:45:43,658 --> 00:45:47,245
- I don't know what I'm looking for.
- Oh, wait.
792
00:45:47,328 --> 00:45:50,373
What? What do you want to do?
Go through the guy's mail.
793
00:45:50,457 --> 00:45:53,835
- This is insane. Oh, Jesus!
- What do you mean?
794
00:45:53,918 --> 00:45:55,920
- Oh, Christ!
- Well, clean it up. Hurry up.
795
00:45:56,004 --> 00:45:58,006
What do you mean, clean it up?
What am I gonna do, vacuum?
796
00:45:58,089 --> 00:45:59,716
Put it under the rug
or something like that.
797
00:45:59,799 --> 00:46:03,261
I can't! It's a wall-to-wall carpet.
I broke his, his porcelain...
798
00:46:03,344 --> 00:46:05,847
- Well, glue it. Glue it back tog...
- What do you mean, glue?
799
00:46:05,930 --> 00:46:07,932
- What are you talking about?
- Look. Look.
800
00:46:08,016 --> 00:46:09,476
- What?
- Look!
801
00:46:09,559 --> 00:46:12,437
So what, gloves? I have gloves.
They keep my fingers warm.
802
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,356
But do you keep yours out on
the bureau in this kind of weather?
803
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:18,485
- Let's get outta here.
- I think something's very strange here.
804
00:46:18,568 --> 00:46:21,696
He left these out and ready. I think
the whole thing is really sinister.
805
00:46:21,780 --> 00:46:24,908
It's the eye of the beholder. You have to
go to the eye doctor, get happy glasses.
806
00:46:24,991 --> 00:46:28,244
I'm gonna take these pieces
with us and we'll get rid of them.
807
00:46:31,331 --> 00:46:33,291
How did you like
your birthday cake, Nick?
808
00:46:33,374 --> 00:46:35,794
I loved it.
Then again, I love chocolate anything.
809
00:46:35,877 --> 00:46:38,546
- He likes chocolate.
- I know. I know.
810
00:46:38,630 --> 00:46:40,548
- What are you laughing about?
- If only he could stay in town.
811
00:46:40,632 --> 00:46:42,675
If only you could stay in town
just a couple more hours.
812
00:46:42,759 --> 00:46:44,844
I was going to, but they're
working us hard at school, I can't.
813
00:46:44,928 --> 00:46:45,929
I gotta get right back.
814
00:46:46,012 --> 00:46:47,972
I'm gonna take him to
Brooks Brothers for his present.
815
00:46:48,056 --> 00:46:51,559
- Your mother's going to a wine tasting.
- You want something from Brooks?
816
00:46:51,643 --> 00:46:53,770
- She's going to a wine tasting.
- If I'm going to be...
817
00:46:53,853 --> 00:46:56,314
a restaurant owner, I should know
something about wines.
818
00:46:56,397 --> 00:46:58,483
- Larry?
- Hi.
819
00:46:58,566 --> 00:47:00,860
- Hey, I want you to meet somebody.
- What?
820
00:47:00,944 --> 00:47:02,821
- This is... This is...
- Hi, Larry.
821
00:47:02,904 --> 00:47:04,864
- Hi, how are ya?
- Good. How're you doin'?
822
00:47:04,948 --> 00:47:07,158
- This is my wife.
- Honey, I'm here. I'm right...
823
00:47:07,242 --> 00:47:09,828
- Carol. Remember me?
- You snuck around. This is Marcia Fox.
824
00:47:09,911 --> 00:47:12,831
My son, Nicky. He's in town.
It's his birthday.
825
00:47:12,914 --> 00:47:15,667
So we took him to 21.
It's a tradition we have in the family.
826
00:47:15,750 --> 00:47:17,752
Oh, that's great.
Oh, your friend called me.
827
00:47:17,836 --> 00:47:19,838
He's taking me to dinner in New Jersey
next week. Some Mafia joint.
828
00:47:19,921 --> 00:47:21,673
I fixed her up with Ted.
He's going to take her...
829
00:47:21,756 --> 00:47:23,341
- Oh, you did?
- Yeah. The place we ate at.
830
00:47:23,424 --> 00:47:25,093
- Well, very nice.
- He's a lot of fun.
831
00:47:25,176 --> 00:47:27,178
- You'll have a very good time.
- Great.
832
00:47:27,262 --> 00:47:29,681
- Good to see you. Take care.
- Good to see you.
833
00:47:29,764 --> 00:47:32,725
- It's great. She'll have a great time.
- So that's Marcia Fox?
834
00:47:32,809 --> 00:47:34,978
- Uh-huh.
- Mm-hmm.
835
00:47:35,061 --> 00:47:37,772
- What are you making a face for?
- You think she's Ted's type?
836
00:47:37,856 --> 00:47:40,608
She's anybody's type.
She's brilliant, talented.
837
00:47:40,692 --> 00:47:43,987
- Yeah, you, you got your bag.
- You know, your pupils are dilating.
838
00:47:44,070 --> 00:47:48,575
She's dangerously sexual. Listen,
when you go to the wine tasting, honey,
839
00:47:48,658 --> 00:47:51,244
getting back to real life,
spit it out, okay?
840
00:47:51,327 --> 00:47:53,329
- Don't drink too much, Mom.
- What do you mean? Nick!
841
00:47:53,413 --> 00:47:55,665
They spit it out at a wine tasting,
because I don't want you...
842
00:47:55,748 --> 00:48:00,003
to be laying by the bathroom floor
with your head by the bowl tonight.
843
00:48:00,086 --> 00:48:02,255
That Mouton '45, that was...
844
00:48:02,338 --> 00:48:06,259
- You love it?
- Oh, that was like sublime.
845
00:48:06,342 --> 00:48:09,304
And the inexpensive Spanish one,
wasn't that a nice surprise?
846
00:48:09,387 --> 00:48:11,180
- Very, very nice.
- Wasn't that great?
847
00:48:11,264 --> 00:48:12,390
Look at these paintings.
848
00:48:12,473 --> 00:48:17,228
- So, Larry fixed you up with Marcia Fox?
- I love that blue one.
849
00:48:17,312 --> 00:48:20,398
- His favorite writer.
- Yeah, well, he says she's wonderful.
850
00:48:20,481 --> 00:48:23,985
I'm... I'm trying to do everything
I can to get out and meet people.
851
00:48:24,068 --> 00:48:25,778
- Sure.
- I'm not looking forward to this.
852
00:48:25,862 --> 00:48:30,783
- You takin' her to Vincent's in Jersey?
- Yeah, I guess.
853
00:48:30,867 --> 00:48:33,077
- She's not my first choice.
- No?
854
00:48:33,161 --> 00:48:37,957
God, look at this.
Oh, that park is so beautiful.
855
00:48:40,251 --> 00:48:44,839
- I can't have my first choice.
- No? Hmm.
856
00:48:44,923 --> 00:48:46,549
I'm gettin' drunk.
I don't know what I'm saying.
857
00:48:46,633 --> 00:48:49,385
You're getting... So am I.
I don't know about this...
858
00:48:51,846 --> 00:48:53,806
Oh.
859
00:48:55,808 --> 00:48:58,102
Gonna be late for my shrink.
I gotta...
860
00:48:58,186 --> 00:48:59,854
- Gotta go, huh?
- Yeah.
861
00:48:59,938 --> 00:49:02,607
Okay.
862
00:49:04,692 --> 00:49:08,321
You know,
you would be my first choice.
863
00:49:09,989 --> 00:49:12,825
- Me, huh?
- Yeah.
864
00:49:12,909 --> 00:49:17,372
Well. Oh, boy.
865
00:49:20,041 --> 00:49:22,168
Uh, can I give you a lift?
You, uh... I'm gonna go east.
866
00:49:22,251 --> 00:49:24,796
Thanks. No, I think I'll
stick around. I need to think.
867
00:49:24,879 --> 00:49:28,967
- I feel a little, you know, tipsy.
- I didn't offend you, did I?
868
00:49:29,050 --> 00:49:32,553
No! No, no, no.
You didn't offend me, no.
869
00:49:32,637 --> 00:49:36,557
I was very, uh, flattered by this, Ted.
870
00:49:36,641 --> 00:49:39,310
Flattered Well, anyway.
871
00:49:39,394 --> 00:49:42,063
- See you. Oops, careful.
- Sorry. Excuse me.
872
00:50:22,020 --> 00:50:24,063
Ah. Oh.
873
00:50:25,106 --> 00:50:26,399
Excuse me.
874
00:50:46,502 --> 00:50:50,048
I got a great sweater at
Brooks Brothers today, for Nick today.
875
00:50:50,131 --> 00:50:52,550
Really beautiful. It's cashmere.
Very expensive.
876
00:50:52,633 --> 00:50:54,719
The kid looked
so handsome in it, though.
877
00:50:54,802 --> 00:50:58,431
Also, I decided I'd cook dinner tonight.
My one-dish tuna casserole.
878
00:50:58,514 --> 00:51:01,726
- No wonder he had her cremated.
- What?
879
00:51:01,809 --> 00:51:02,977
Mrs. House.
880
00:51:03,061 --> 00:51:05,521
Oh, Jesus. You're not on
about Mrs. House again.
881
00:51:05,605 --> 00:51:08,649
I thought we'd have a light dinner
because we had a rich lunch at 21.
882
00:51:08,733 --> 00:51:11,819
Larry... I just saw Mrs. House.
883
00:51:11,903 --> 00:51:13,362
What? What are you
talking about? The ashes?
884
00:51:13,446 --> 00:51:16,199
No. No, no, a bus,
it passed me and she was on it.
885
00:51:16,282 --> 00:51:18,409
- I mean... Yeah.
- The dead woman passed you on a bus?
886
00:51:18,493 --> 00:51:21,162
- Which bus was this, the bus to heaven?
- No, but I'm, I'm not joking.
887
00:51:21,245 --> 00:51:24,165
I'm telling you something.
I really saw her. I actually saw her.
888
00:51:24,248 --> 00:51:25,750
- Uh-huh, uh-huh.
- Yeah.
889
00:51:25,833 --> 00:51:26,918
- You wanna lie down?
- No.
890
00:51:27,001 --> 00:51:29,754
We'll put a cold compress on your head
or a hot compress on your back.
891
00:51:29,837 --> 00:51:32,173
Larry, you know, I was
at the wine tasting, right?
892
00:51:32,256 --> 00:51:36,427
And I was sitting at, you know,
a bay window. I... I happened to look out.
893
00:51:36,511 --> 00:51:38,971
- A bus passed... And...
- Remember I said to you?
894
00:51:39,055 --> 00:51:41,432
- She was on it, Larry.
- Remember I said to you, "Spit it out"?
895
00:51:41,516 --> 00:51:44,977
I said, "Don't drink it." You said you
were going to taste wine all afternoon?
896
00:51:45,061 --> 00:51:47,105
- Yeah.
- I said, "Spit it out, don't swallow it."
897
00:51:47,188 --> 00:51:49,398
You swallowed it,
and that's why you're this way.
898
00:51:49,482 --> 00:51:52,401
Yeah, I had a few drinks,
but it's not... I mean, I saw her.
899
00:51:52,485 --> 00:51:54,654
Yeah, I'm sure you saw her.
How could you see her?
900
00:51:54,737 --> 00:51:56,989
She's dead. Not only is she
dead, she's been cremated.
901
00:51:57,073 --> 00:51:58,116
It's not even Halloween.
902
00:51:58,199 --> 00:52:01,661
Are you telling me that I didn't see her?
Is that what you're saying?
903
00:52:01,744 --> 00:52:04,914
I think it's a pretty fair assumption
that if a person is dead,
904
00:52:04,997 --> 00:52:07,875
they don't suddenly turn up
in the New York City transit system.
905
00:52:07,959 --> 00:52:11,254
I just don't know what's happening, Larry.
I don't know what's goin' on.
906
00:52:11,337 --> 00:52:13,005
What's going on?
Let me put it this way.
907
00:52:13,089 --> 00:52:16,134
Total psychotic breakdown.
Okay? Is that enough?
908
00:52:16,217 --> 00:52:18,928
Maybe she's a twin.
That's possible. Now forget this.
909
00:52:19,011 --> 00:52:21,472
Taste my tuna casserole.
Tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.
910
00:52:21,556 --> 00:52:23,808
You're getting so
closed-minded these days.
911
00:52:23,891 --> 00:52:26,352
I just... Oh, God!
912
00:52:26,435 --> 00:52:30,439
Hello? Ted! Ted. Ted,
you're not gonna believe this.
913
00:52:30,523 --> 00:52:33,609
But I... Ted, I saw Mrs. House.
914
00:52:33,693 --> 00:52:36,612
Yeah, Mrs. House. Yeah, Mrs....
The murdered woman, right.
915
00:52:36,696 --> 00:52:37,780
She wasn't murdered.
916
00:52:37,864 --> 00:52:39,866
- Yeah.
- It was a coronary, folks.
917
00:52:39,949 --> 00:52:41,617
- No, no. Yeah. No, I'm sure.
- She wasn't murdered.
918
00:52:41,701 --> 00:52:45,037
- I don't know what she's talking about.
- No, I'm sure. She was on a bus.
919
00:52:45,121 --> 00:52:48,374
- Give her any wine.
- I saw her moments after you left.
920
00:52:48,457 --> 00:52:52,378
- He was at the wine tasting.
- I'm sure. Would you? Would you really?
921
00:52:52,461 --> 00:52:54,589
Oh, that would be so great.
If you'd just run a check...
922
00:52:54,672 --> 00:52:56,799
- ... on Paul and Lillian House.
- Don't run a check!
923
00:52:56,883 --> 00:52:58,843
- What are you doing?
- Can you call back later?
924
00:52:58,926 --> 00:53:00,428
My marriage is falling apart.
925
00:53:00,511 --> 00:53:01,721
- Larry, what are you...
- Forget it, will you?
926
00:53:01,804 --> 00:53:04,390
If you're gonna have an affair with the
guy, you don't need a murder to do it.
927
00:53:04,473 --> 00:53:08,352
- I'm telling you I saw Mrs. House!
- Yes, I know, on the bus.
928
00:53:08,436 --> 00:53:11,147
The dead persons' bus.
No carfare. Sit down.
929
00:53:11,230 --> 00:53:14,275
Now look. Just... I can tell you. I can
show you the exact spot, Larry. Huh?
930
00:53:14,358 --> 00:53:16,652
- What about lunch? Tomorrow?
- I'm not gonna see the exact spot.
931
00:53:16,736 --> 00:53:19,197
- On your lunch hour?
- No, I've a business lunch tomorrow.
932
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:21,866
- I'm not interested.
- I mean, this is such a shock!
933
00:53:21,949 --> 00:53:24,619
- Come on, will you eat something?
- I'm just vibrating from this.
934
00:53:24,702 --> 00:53:27,747
- We got tickets to the theater.
- I saw this woman. I'm not going.
935
00:53:27,830 --> 00:53:31,042
We've been holding these
tickets for two months now.
936
00:53:31,125 --> 00:53:34,962
Do you comprehend the enormity
of what I'm telling you, Larry?
937
00:53:35,046 --> 00:53:37,215
If you've got a big story,
tell it to the police.
938
00:53:37,298 --> 00:53:39,425
- Don't tell it to me.
- What am I gonna say to them?
939
00:53:39,508 --> 00:53:41,969
- Tell them this whole cockamamy story.
- What story?
940
00:53:42,053 --> 00:53:44,889
I don't have a story. I mean,
I got nothing. Unless... Oh.
941
00:53:44,972 --> 00:53:48,476
- That's right, you got nothing.
- Unless... Unless I locate her.
942
00:53:48,559 --> 00:53:50,228
- Yeah, okay, good.
- Huh? Okay?
943
00:53:50,311 --> 00:53:53,731
Sit down 'cause we're going to the
theater. I don't care what you say.
944
00:53:59,946 --> 00:54:03,074
Oh, Jack, Jack? You were there when
Mrs. House died, right? You saw her?
945
00:54:03,157 --> 00:54:05,409
- Right. You saw her lying there, right?
- Yeah, sure.
946
00:54:05,493 --> 00:54:08,746
- Yes, she was lying on the floor.
- You're sure it was her, right?
947
00:54:08,829 --> 00:54:10,957
He said it was laying on the floor.
948
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:14,961
- She was in a bag. Yeah.
- My wife's been having some bad dreams.
949
00:54:15,044 --> 00:54:16,420
She doesn't know
what she's talking about.
950
00:54:16,504 --> 00:54:17,546
Yeah.
951
00:54:17,630 --> 00:54:20,174
This is for all the times
I call you to fix the faucet
952
00:54:20,258 --> 00:54:21,759
and you show up six months late.
953
00:54:21,842 --> 00:54:23,761
Thanks.
954
00:54:29,850 --> 00:54:32,436
- The super is a drunk.
- Shh.
955
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:36,440
I know, but... we've seen him smelling
of Jack Daniels, remember?
956
00:54:36,524 --> 00:54:38,442
- Yeah, but...
- Well...
957
00:54:38,526 --> 00:54:41,445
I mean, I know he didn't
see Mrs. House, Larry.
958
00:54:41,529 --> 00:54:43,864
- If she's a twin, it's a different story.
- Yeah.
959
00:54:43,948 --> 00:54:46,701
- But you don't seem to feel she is, so...
- Well, I don't know.
960
00:54:46,784 --> 00:54:49,495
Oh, I know!
961
00:54:49,578 --> 00:54:51,789
Unless he's in on it.
962
00:54:51,872 --> 00:54:54,083
- Who's in on it? The super?
- Yes.
963
00:54:54,166 --> 00:54:56,877
- The super can't change a fuse.
- Shh.
964
00:54:59,046 --> 00:55:01,465
- I mean, she...
- What?
965
00:55:01,549 --> 00:55:05,511
Well, she's alive. And my question is:
Who was in that bag?
966
00:55:05,594 --> 00:55:09,557
- She's not alive unless she's a twin.
- I mean, somebody...
967
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:12,393
- Okay? Now keep quiet.
- Look, somebody...
968
00:55:14,395 --> 00:55:17,940
Somebody got cremated,
Larry. Somebody.
969
00:55:18,024 --> 00:55:19,942
Shut up.
970
00:55:21,527 --> 00:55:23,404
- Lillian House.
- Right.
971
00:55:23,487 --> 00:55:24,739
Maiden name, Lillian Beale.
972
00:55:24,822 --> 00:55:27,491
- Born in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, 1935.
- Uh-huh.
973
00:55:27,575 --> 00:55:30,619
Married Paul Richard House.
She was not a twin.
974
00:55:30,703 --> 00:55:33,372
Had an older sister who, uh,
went to England 20 years ago...
975
00:55:33,456 --> 00:55:35,166
So goes Larry's theory.
I told him I saw her.
976
00:55:35,249 --> 00:55:38,669
- ... and an older brother who died in 1987.
- Right here. This is it.
977
00:55:38,753 --> 00:55:42,840
- This is where we were.
- And I was sitting there after you left.
978
00:55:42,923 --> 00:55:45,051
I was having a glass of,
you know, wine,
979
00:55:45,134 --> 00:55:47,178
and I looked out the window
and I saw the...
980
00:55:47,261 --> 00:55:49,180
- Right here. Yes.
- You saw her after I left?
981
00:55:49,263 --> 00:55:51,849
I saw her on a bus.
It was passing.
982
00:55:51,932 --> 00:55:55,353
- You... It was like...
- You're absolutely sure you saw her?
983
00:55:55,436 --> 00:55:57,521
- You saw her face?
- I'm positive I... I saw her.
984
00:55:57,605 --> 00:56:00,191
Whoo, excuse me.
985
00:56:00,274 --> 00:56:03,277
- I'm telling you, Ted.
- What was the number on the bus?
986
00:56:03,361 --> 00:56:06,822
I don't know what the number was,
but it was heading west to east.
987
00:56:06,906 --> 00:56:09,950
- So it was it was a crosstown bus.
- All right, okay, look.
988
00:56:10,034 --> 00:56:12,203
- It's a crosstown bus. Okay, so look.
- Right.
989
00:56:12,286 --> 00:56:15,289
The end of the line
is a few blocks down there.
990
00:56:15,373 --> 00:56:18,167
- Then, it's like... Her destination...
- She had to get off somewhere.
991
00:56:18,250 --> 00:56:21,170
- was probably the next five or six blocks.
- Yeah, right.
992
00:56:21,253 --> 00:56:25,049
So let's, let's look around.
We'll see some... Like, uh, you know...
993
00:56:25,132 --> 00:56:27,051
- A clue or something. Or something.
- Okay.
994
00:56:27,134 --> 00:56:28,844
Maybe we'll see her.
You're sure you saw her face?
995
00:56:28,928 --> 00:56:30,388
Don't doubt me, okay?
996
00:56:30,471 --> 00:56:32,556
- Okay, okay. No, no, no.
- I'm not kidding.
997
00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:35,935
Oh, God. Well, I think we've
reached the end of the line.
998
00:56:36,018 --> 00:56:37,144
I think this is it.
999
00:56:37,228 --> 00:56:39,313
- I don't think... There's noth...
- Look, the bus.
1000
00:56:39,397 --> 00:56:42,650
- Watch out, watch out.
- Yeah, what? Oh. Whoo.
1001
00:56:44,485 --> 00:56:46,612
Yeah, look. See? See,
he's turning here. That's it.
1002
00:56:46,695 --> 00:56:48,781
- Yeah, I know.
- That's all there is here.
1003
00:56:48,864 --> 00:56:52,493
Well, what do you think? Do you
think we should retrace our steps?
1004
00:56:53,744 --> 00:56:58,290
- You, you wear a tie with a dress.
- No, I don't think it looks good.
1005
00:56:58,374 --> 00:57:00,918
- It'd look great on you.
- I feel like it'd be too masculine...
1006
00:57:01,001 --> 00:57:04,588
- if I wore it with pants.
- Just don't wear it with pants.
1007
00:57:04,672 --> 00:57:07,299
- What?
- Ted, look
1008
00:57:07,383 --> 00:57:09,635
- At what? What?
- That hotel.
1009
00:57:09,718 --> 00:57:11,679
- What about it?
- Well, that's... the Waldron.
1010
00:57:11,762 --> 00:57:13,681
Remember
I... I was in his apartment,
1011
00:57:13,764 --> 00:57:15,766
I pressed the number
"last number dialed."
1012
00:57:15,850 --> 00:57:17,768
- You're kidding.
- They answered the phone...
1013
00:57:17,852 --> 00:57:19,770
- and said... "Waldron."
- You got a quarter?
1014
00:57:19,854 --> 00:57:22,606
Hello, Mrs. House, please.
1015
00:57:22,690 --> 00:57:25,734
Mrs.... Mrs. House. Can you
ring her room for me, please?
1016
00:57:27,862 --> 00:57:31,073
- Well?
- Really? Wh-Wh...
1017
00:57:31,157 --> 00:57:34,076
Maybe... Well, maybe she checked out.
1018
00:57:35,369 --> 00:57:38,122
No... Nobody. Nobody at all.
1019
00:57:38,205 --> 00:57:40,666
- Uh... what about...
- What about...
1020
00:57:40,749 --> 00:57:42,960
Yeah, what about, uh, Helen Moss?
1021
00:57:43,043 --> 00:57:46,046
Moss. You're sure?
1022
00:57:46,130 --> 00:57:48,466
Nobody... Nobody at all?
1023
00:57:48,549 --> 00:57:51,844
All right, okay, I'm sorry.
All right. Thank you.
1024
00:57:51,927 --> 00:57:56,348
Great. Oh, God, it looks
like it's gonna rain again.
1025
00:57:57,558 --> 00:57:59,477
Well?
1026
00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:03,063
If I get two kings, I take one.
Otherwise, I fold.
1027
00:58:03,147 --> 00:58:06,400
- Got it?
- So... I never go out.
1028
00:58:06,484 --> 00:58:09,862
- I... I-I just, I can't take...
- That's how you wind up on welfare.
1029
00:58:09,945 --> 00:58:12,615
I need the action for some reason.
I... I can't...
1030
00:58:12,698 --> 00:58:16,118
- I bet anything. Okay? No, no.
- Cut?
1031
00:58:16,202 --> 00:58:19,788
I trust you. Lay it on me.
1032
00:58:27,588 --> 00:58:28,923
You seem in a strange mood.
1033
00:58:29,006 --> 00:58:31,217
No, no, no. I'm probably
just a little drunk.
1034
00:58:31,300 --> 00:58:32,510
On Perrier?
1035
00:58:32,593 --> 00:58:35,012
No. What are you talking about?
I had rum cake.
1036
00:58:35,095 --> 00:58:37,389
- Want any cards?
- Uhhh...
1037
00:58:37,473 --> 00:58:40,935
just let me see
what possibilities I got here.
1038
00:58:41,018 --> 00:58:44,396
Uh, yeah.
I'm gonna have, uh...
1039
00:58:44,480 --> 00:58:48,025
I'll have, uh...
1040
00:58:48,108 --> 00:58:51,278
- I'll have, uh, four cards. Yeah.
- Four?
1041
00:58:51,362 --> 00:58:53,697
Cruisin' for a bruisin'.
1042
00:58:53,781 --> 00:58:58,327
Inside and outside straight.
1043
00:58:58,410 --> 00:59:00,788
You're in trouble now.
1044
00:59:02,289 --> 00:59:05,876
I can't escape the feeling
that... my, my wife...
1045
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:08,504
is becoming attracted
to somebody else.
1046
00:59:08,587 --> 00:59:11,340
- And it's really bothering me.
- Really?
1047
00:59:11,423 --> 00:59:14,134
Yeah. That's why
I'm not playing my best.
1048
00:59:16,095 --> 00:59:18,514
This guy's, you know,
more adventurous than I am,
1049
00:59:18,597 --> 00:59:20,724
and for some reason they
just seem to hit it off.
1050
00:59:20,808 --> 00:59:24,812
I'm gonna be very lonely if,
uh, you know, this happens.
1051
00:59:24,895 --> 00:59:27,982
- You must love her a lot.
- Yeah, I do. I do.
1052
00:59:30,693 --> 00:59:33,612
If you wanna hold onto her,
you have to make some effort.
1053
00:59:33,696 --> 00:59:37,408
- Who's the guy?
- Well, uh... Um...
1054
00:59:37,491 --> 00:59:39,910
- Ted, the guy that I fixed you up with.
- Ted?
1055
00:59:39,994 --> 00:59:40,995
Yeah.
1056
00:59:41,078 --> 00:59:44,164
Well, we can always switch.
Ted gets Carol, I can be your date.
1057
00:59:46,667 --> 00:59:51,046
M-Maybe I should actually make
a greater effort with Carol.
1058
00:59:58,762 --> 01:00:00,139
So, you bored?
1059
01:00:00,222 --> 01:00:02,808
Well, it's more fun
than the Wagner opera.
1060
01:00:02,891 --> 01:00:04,852
Yeah, well, to me...
I mean, just... I mean,
1061
01:00:04,935 --> 01:00:07,563
it's just one of the most exciting
adventures I've ever been on.
1062
01:00:07,646 --> 01:00:09,523
Mm-hmm. Would you
rather be here with Ted?
1063
01:00:09,607 --> 01:00:13,861
Well, he has a more enthused
attitude, Larry. It...
1064
01:00:13,944 --> 01:00:15,195
- More enthused?
- Yeah, enthused. Well...
1065
01:00:15,279 --> 01:00:18,449
Well, he's a fun guy.
He's a light guy, I'm a heavy guy.
1066
01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:20,200
Ted would be fun
on a scavenger hunt.
1067
01:00:20,284 --> 01:00:22,119
- You used to be a lot of fun.
- He's the guy you want.
1068
01:00:22,202 --> 01:00:24,455
If you really have a heavy
scavenger hunt, he's the man.
1069
01:00:24,538 --> 01:00:25,664
I know, but, well, you use...
1070
01:00:25,748 --> 01:00:29,043
Do you know that
this neighborhood was...
1071
01:00:29,126 --> 01:00:32,671
where I first took you out on a date
when we first started going out?
1072
01:00:32,755 --> 01:00:36,133
Just for some reason, you've gotten
so stodgy in your old age. You know?
1073
01:00:36,216 --> 01:00:38,677
Remember there was a movie
house right on this corner?
1074
01:00:38,761 --> 01:00:41,096
- Yeah, I remember.
- Not to change the subject.
1075
01:00:41,180 --> 01:00:43,891
I took you to see Last Year
At Marienbad on our first date?
1076
01:00:43,974 --> 01:00:46,644
I had to explain it to you
for the next six months.
1077
01:00:46,727 --> 01:00:49,813
Who knew they were flashbacks?
1078
01:00:49,897 --> 01:00:53,025
Look, Larry, look. We've got
plenty of time to be conservative.
1079
01:00:53,108 --> 01:00:55,152
You know what I'm saying?
Don't you see? It's...
1080
01:00:55,235 --> 01:00:58,822
It's like this tantalizing plum
has just dropped into our laps.
1081
01:00:58,906 --> 01:01:02,618
I mean, life is just such a dull routine,
and here we are, right?
1082
01:01:02,701 --> 01:01:05,329
I mean, we're on the threshold
of a genuine mystery.
1083
01:01:05,412 --> 01:01:08,499
Are you gonna burst into song here?
We're in a car.
1084
01:01:08,582 --> 01:01:12,002
Just don't make fun of me, okay?
Because I'm open to new experiences.
1085
01:01:12,086 --> 01:01:13,879
Let me ask you
a personal question here.
1086
01:01:13,962 --> 01:01:15,881
Did you ever sleep with Ted?
1087
01:01:15,964 --> 01:01:17,383
- Sleep?
- Don't get nervous.
1088
01:01:17,466 --> 01:01:19,051
- Yeah. You guys...
- What, are you nuts?
1089
01:01:19,134 --> 01:01:20,886
We went on an eating tour
of France together.
1090
01:01:20,969 --> 01:01:23,055
You two guys spent
an evening together.
1091
01:01:23,138 --> 01:01:25,224
- Yeah, right. I know...
- At that place, you know.
1092
01:01:25,307 --> 01:01:28,227
Yeah, but what about you? Remember?
You spent the evening with Julie.
1093
01:01:28,310 --> 01:01:31,271
- Right? You spent the night and shared...
- That meant absolutely nothing.
1094
01:01:31,355 --> 01:01:33,691
She hated me. Julie despised me.
You know that.
1095
01:01:33,774 --> 01:01:37,152
She thought I was a lowlife and a wimp
and a vermin and a roach.
1096
01:01:37,236 --> 01:01:39,196
Just jump in anytime you
want to defend me, you know.
1097
01:01:39,279 --> 01:01:43,367
Hey, I'm waiting for you to say
something I don't agree with.
1098
01:01:43,450 --> 01:01:46,036
Hey, you're nailing me. Jesus.
1099
01:01:47,162 --> 01:01:49,081
Larry?
1100
01:01:49,164 --> 01:01:53,043
Larry, Larry, look, it's her!
I'd say it's her!
1101
01:01:53,127 --> 01:01:55,379
- Oh, my God, it is.
- Yeah, you see what I mean?
1102
01:01:55,462 --> 01:01:57,464
- So I was right all along, wasn't I?
- Are you sure?
1103
01:01:57,548 --> 01:01:59,508
- I'm positive. Yes.
- Are you sure?
1104
01:01:59,591 --> 01:02:01,552
- Oh, my God!
- Right?
1105
01:02:01,635 --> 01:02:04,555
- Right? I mean I was...
- I'm... Jesus, I'm sh...
1106
01:02:04,638 --> 01:02:07,141
- I know. Well, come on. Yeah, I know.
- That is her. Are you...
1107
01:02:07,224 --> 01:02:08,225
I told you so.
1108
01:02:08,308 --> 01:02:10,352
What do you mean, you told...
What are you talking about?
1109
01:02:10,436 --> 01:02:12,896
- You're nuts, honey. Look, you're white.
- Jesus, I'm flabbergasted!
1110
01:02:12,980 --> 01:02:15,649
- You're completely white.
- All the blood rushed to my brother.
1111
01:02:15,733 --> 01:02:17,985
Larry, let's get out there.
Let's find out what's goin' on.
1112
01:02:18,068 --> 01:02:19,027
No, I don't want to.
1113
01:02:19,111 --> 01:02:21,280
Oh, come on. You're not
afraid of her, are you?
1114
01:02:21,363 --> 01:02:22,364
You're not afraid of Mrs. House.
1115
01:02:22,448 --> 01:02:23,824
No, she's an old woman,
and I'm a virile male.
1116
01:02:23,907 --> 01:02:26,410
And yet, somehow, I am scared.
I don't know why.
1117
01:02:26,493 --> 01:02:27,453
Maybe because she's dead.
1118
01:02:27,536 --> 01:02:29,747
I tell you, I'm gonna break
this thing wide open.
1119
01:02:29,830 --> 01:02:31,749
Well, how?
What do you want to do?
1120
01:02:31,832 --> 01:02:34,752
- If only Ted were here with us.
- Oh, don't give me Ted.
1121
01:02:34,835 --> 01:02:36,712
Let's get out of here.
1122
01:02:36,795 --> 01:02:37,796
- No, wait. I got an idea.
- What?
1123
01:02:37,880 --> 01:02:40,299
I know what we should do.
We should get a gift.
1124
01:02:40,382 --> 01:02:42,426
We'll surprise her.
We'll sneak into the hotel.
1125
01:02:42,509 --> 01:02:45,095
- Come on. Yeah, no. Come on.
- How? How?
1126
01:02:50,684 --> 01:02:53,228
- Uh, excuse me. Hi.
- Hi.
1127
01:02:53,312 --> 01:02:55,606
We were just wondering... uh,
did you see a woman come in?
1128
01:02:55,689 --> 01:02:58,150
She was a little woman about 5'3".
She had on a gray sweater.
1129
01:02:58,233 --> 01:03:00,944
- Older woman?
- With a canvas bag and an umbrella.
1130
01:03:01,028 --> 01:03:03,155
- Mrs. Caine? Dark hair?
- Uh-huh. Mrs. Caine.
1131
01:03:03,238 --> 01:03:05,157
- Oh, yes, that's her. Yes.
- Mrs. Caine. Uh-huh.
1132
01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:07,117
We had a present for her.
We wanted to surprise her.
1133
01:03:07,201 --> 01:03:09,745
- Yes, that's right. What room...
- Uh, 611.
1134
01:03:09,828 --> 01:03:11,997
- 611. Really, thanks a lot.
- Okay, sure.
1135
01:03:12,080 --> 01:03:14,249
Yeah, we may need some
information while we're here, so...
1136
01:03:14,333 --> 01:03:16,835
I'll take very good care of you
if you play ball with us.
1137
01:03:18,462 --> 01:03:20,714
What are you making a face for?
He's the father of our country.
1138
01:03:20,798 --> 01:03:23,175
- Will you come on?
- I'm coming. I'm coming.
1139
01:03:37,231 --> 01:03:40,275
Okay, um... 611.
1140
01:03:43,987 --> 01:03:45,906
- 607.
- It's very nice.
1141
01:03:45,989 --> 01:03:49,284
I love a hotel that's got lots of blue
powder sprinkled along the baseboard.
1142
01:03:53,330 --> 01:03:55,749
611. Here. Larry.
1143
01:03:59,002 --> 01:04:02,214
- Um, Mrs. House?
- Mrs. House?
1144
01:04:02,297 --> 01:04:04,967
Oh, um...
1145
01:04:05,050 --> 01:04:07,886
- M-Mrs. House?
- Hello?
1146
01:04:07,970 --> 01:04:10,389
Hello? Mrs. House.
1147
01:04:10,472 --> 01:04:12,558
- I don't think she's...
- My God, I don't... I don't see her.
1148
01:04:12,641 --> 01:04:15,727
This may not be the right place.
1149
01:04:15,811 --> 01:04:19,189
Just hold on, Larry.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
1150
01:04:19,273 --> 01:04:20,148
There's nothing here.
1151
01:04:20,232 --> 01:04:23,193
Larry! Oh, my God,
wait a minute!
1152
01:04:23,277 --> 01:04:25,863
Oh, my God! Look. Mrs. House?
1153
01:04:25,946 --> 01:04:29,032
- Oh, Mrs. House? Hello? Mrs.... Oh!
- What's the matter?
1154
01:04:29,116 --> 01:04:32,995
- Oh, Larry, oh, I think she's dead.
- What? What's...
1155
01:04:33,078 --> 01:04:35,706
- T-T-Try giving her the present.
- Yeah. Oh, my God. Mrs. House?
1156
01:04:35,789 --> 01:04:38,917
- Come on, let's get out of here!
- Larry, I think she's dead.
1157
01:04:39,001 --> 01:04:41,628
- I'm gonna run the Boston Marathon.
- Oh, my God! Oh!
1158
01:04:41,712 --> 01:04:44,381
- Okay. Oh, God!
- This woman is forever dying.
1159
01:04:44,464 --> 01:04:47,342
Come on, come on.
Move, move.
1160
01:04:47,426 --> 01:04:50,262
Adrenaline is leaking
out of my ears.
1161
01:04:50,345 --> 01:04:54,016
- Get down those stairs. Quickly.
- Okay, all right.
1162
01:04:54,099 --> 01:04:56,935
And then what happened
was I suspected Mr. House.
1163
01:04:57,019 --> 01:04:58,103
He runs a movie house.
1164
01:04:58,186 --> 01:05:00,147
We walk in,
I'm looking around the place...
1165
01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:01,273
I saw her on this bus.
1166
01:05:01,356 --> 01:05:02,774
Her hand is on the floor.
You could see it.
1167
01:05:02,858 --> 01:05:03,817
She has no twin at all.
1168
01:05:03,901 --> 01:05:05,110
She was laying there...
blue in the face.
1169
01:05:05,193 --> 01:05:07,779
- So we were sitting there.
- I tried to keep calm as best I could.
1170
01:05:07,863 --> 01:05:10,407
- There's nobody up there.
- What do you mean?
1171
01:05:10,490 --> 01:05:13,911
There's no body there. You
wanna show us where you saw it?
1172
01:05:13,994 --> 01:05:15,162
We just saw her there.
1173
01:05:15,245 --> 01:05:17,122
- Mike, check the basement.
- Larry, didn't we... Yeah, come on.
1174
01:05:17,205 --> 01:05:19,917
- She was totally dead.
- She's there.
1175
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:21,877
She was right here
lying right this way.
1176
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:23,378
She was definitely laying here.
1177
01:05:23,462 --> 01:05:25,047
Because... She was there,
do you understand?
1178
01:05:25,130 --> 01:05:26,381
It looks like she was strangled.
1179
01:05:26,465 --> 01:05:29,343
- Not that I'm an expert on violent death.
- We're two professional people.
1180
01:05:29,426 --> 01:05:32,012
- I work at Harper's. I'm in publishing.
- Yeah, that's right.
1181
01:05:32,095 --> 01:05:34,514
And I'm looking to start
a little restaurant, basically French.
1182
01:05:34,598 --> 01:05:37,142
- International cuisine would be fine.
- She's a fantastic cook.
1183
01:05:37,225 --> 01:05:40,938
- I'm against the restaurant myself.
- Calm down. Calm down!
1184
01:05:41,021 --> 01:05:44,441
Obviously what happened is,
in the time it took to respond,
1185
01:05:44,524 --> 01:05:46,526
somebody came here
and removed the body.
1186
01:05:46,610 --> 01:05:49,488
Not that you didn't respond quickly.
It took three minutes.
1187
01:05:49,571 --> 01:05:52,199
Not counting the half hour
that the operator at 911 took
1188
01:05:52,282 --> 01:05:53,742
to understand what I was saying.
1189
01:05:53,825 --> 01:05:57,204
Nobody's doubting you, okay?
We're going over the whole building.
1190
01:05:57,287 --> 01:05:59,206
- All right?
- All right.
1191
01:05:59,289 --> 01:06:00,457
Did you check everything? Oh?
1192
01:06:00,540 --> 01:06:02,793
Mr. House, he's been at
his place of business all day.
1193
01:06:02,876 --> 01:06:05,295
- Any witnesses?
- Uh-huh, backed up and corroborated.
1194
01:06:05,379 --> 01:06:07,714
- You didn't use our names, did you?
- No, we didn't.
1195
01:06:07,798 --> 01:06:08,632
No. Okay.
1196
01:06:08,715 --> 01:06:10,175
If you saw his wife,
shouldn't you tell him?
1197
01:06:10,258 --> 01:06:13,804
No, I'm...
He's in on some sort of scheme here.
1198
01:06:13,887 --> 01:06:16,264
We think you should
come down and file a report.
1199
01:06:16,348 --> 01:06:19,518
This way, if anything turns up,
we got it on record.
1200
01:06:19,601 --> 01:06:21,645
Take a card, give us a call,
have a good day.
1201
01:06:21,728 --> 01:06:23,855
Thank you. Thanks very much.
Thanks very much.
1202
01:06:23,939 --> 01:06:26,942
- I gotta have a drink. Gotta calm myself.
- Where is Ted?
1203
01:06:27,025 --> 01:06:29,277
- I need 14 Xanax or something.
- I don't understand where Ted is.
1204
01:06:29,361 --> 01:06:33,073
- All this stuff is happening.
- Ted? Ted's got his date tonight.
1205
01:06:33,156 --> 01:06:35,575
He's probably out
buying some Spanish fly.
1206
01:06:35,659 --> 01:06:37,619
I think Helen Moss might be
in on this. I think so.
1207
01:06:37,703 --> 01:06:38,578
Helen? I don't know...
1208
01:06:38,662 --> 01:06:40,831
I don't want to know about this.
We should change our lives.
1209
01:06:40,914 --> 01:06:41,748
Think about it.
1210
01:06:41,832 --> 01:06:44,376
We should move out of that
stupid apartment. Start over.
1211
01:06:44,459 --> 01:06:46,586
- Maybe in Mexico. Sell blankets.
- No, no, no.
1212
01:06:46,670 --> 01:06:49,381
We'll work off the hood
of the car or something.
1213
01:06:50,590 --> 01:06:52,592
I'm just beginning
to come down.
1214
01:06:52,676 --> 01:06:55,178
I didn't know what's happening.
It's like one of those TV shows,
1215
01:06:55,262 --> 01:06:57,973
where you open the door
and you see a dead body.
1216
01:06:58,056 --> 01:06:59,182
I always hated those shows.
1217
01:06:59,266 --> 01:07:02,352
Yeah. You know, I've never seen
a dead person before in my life.
1218
01:07:02,436 --> 01:07:06,023
The only one I ever saw was my
Uncle Morris who was 94 years old.
1219
01:07:06,106 --> 01:07:08,233
He collapsed from too many
lumps in his cereal.
1220
01:07:10,110 --> 01:07:12,070
Larry, is this the most exciting thing
1221
01:07:12,154 --> 01:07:14,281
that's ever happened to us
in our whole marriage?
1222
01:07:14,364 --> 01:07:17,117
This is too exciting. I don't need this.
I'd like something...
1223
01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:20,287
I'd like a fishing trip
or Father's Day, you know...
1224
01:07:20,370 --> 01:07:23,290
or the time we saw Bing Crosby
walking on Fifth Avenue.
1225
01:07:23,373 --> 01:07:26,710
I don't need a murder to...
enliven my life at all.
1226
01:07:26,793 --> 01:07:29,713
You know, whoever did it was probably
still in the room while we were there.
1227
01:07:29,796 --> 01:07:31,214
Probably hiding in the closet.
1228
01:07:31,298 --> 01:07:33,800
Make sure and tell me that
just before I go to sleep.
1229
01:07:33,884 --> 01:07:36,887
- That'll be good for me.
- But that means he probably saw us.
1230
01:07:36,970 --> 01:07:40,182
Great. I'll never get my eyes closed.
What do you want me to do?
1231
01:07:40,265 --> 01:07:42,684
I'm petrified. Not only that,
but I'm a little drunk.
1232
01:07:42,768 --> 01:07:44,895
I wonder who was cremated.
Who was it?
1233
01:07:44,978 --> 01:07:45,896
Well, it was...
1234
01:07:45,979 --> 01:07:48,148
You know, obviously
it wasn't Mr. House...
1235
01:07:48,231 --> 01:07:50,776
- 'cause he has an alibi.
- Oh, yeah, but I don't buy that.
1236
01:07:50,859 --> 01:07:54,446
Mmm. She doesn't buy it.
She doesn't buy the alibi.
1237
01:07:54,529 --> 01:07:57,699
Let's get out of here.
I want to go home.
1238
01:07:58,325 --> 01:08:00,744
Jesus, it's starting to rain again.
Can you believe that?
1239
01:08:00,827 --> 01:08:02,496
Oh, God.
If only Ted were with us.
1240
01:08:02,579 --> 01:08:04,247
He would've had a million
theories about this.
1241
01:08:04,331 --> 01:08:06,833
- Ted's got a mind like a steel sieve.
- Oh, right.
1242
01:08:06,917 --> 01:08:09,753
You know what I think?
I think it's possible...
1243
01:08:09,836 --> 01:08:11,755
- That room was on the end of the hall.
- Yeah?
1244
01:08:11,838 --> 01:08:13,924
- It's right up there. That's the room.
- Yeah, I know.
1245
01:08:14,007 --> 01:08:16,885
What if they got the body
out over that little roof?
1246
01:08:17,928 --> 01:08:20,889
- What are the lights? Larry, the lights!
- Oh, Jesus!
1247
01:08:20,972 --> 01:08:23,558
- Yeah, that's eerie, isn't it?
- This gave me the chills, honey.
1248
01:08:23,642 --> 01:08:25,727
- Yeah, well, let's call the police.
- Oh, no, no, no. Come on.
1249
01:08:25,811 --> 01:08:28,396
- Let's check it out. We don't have time...
- Check it out?
1250
01:08:28,480 --> 01:08:30,816
- I'm not gonna check that out.
- No, but look at it, Larry!
1251
01:08:30,899 --> 01:08:33,276
- There's lights going on there.
- Yeah, I know, I know. That's crazy.
1252
01:08:33,360 --> 01:08:36,113
Why don't we go home and nap and call
the police and they can check it out.
1253
01:08:36,196 --> 01:08:38,573
The police are red tape.
Come on, this is my case, honey.
1254
01:08:38,657 --> 01:08:39,825
What do you mean, your case?
1255
01:08:39,908 --> 01:08:41,993
- Yes, it's my case!
- No, I don't want to do this.
1256
01:08:42,077 --> 01:08:44,996
- Oh, God, if only Ted were with us.
- Hey, don't give me Ted.
1257
01:08:45,080 --> 01:08:47,165
- Ted would be shaking in his boots.
- Oh!
1258
01:08:47,249 --> 01:08:49,876
I'm at least just trembling like a leaf.
1259
01:08:51,670 --> 01:08:54,297
Um, excuse me, we're
with the police department.
1260
01:08:54,381 --> 01:08:56,967
We'd like to, uh, check out
room 611, please.
1261
01:08:57,050 --> 01:08:58,176
You were here before.
1262
01:08:58,260 --> 01:09:01,763
- That's right, yes. Uh-huh. Yeah.
- You are police?
1263
01:09:01,847 --> 01:09:04,432
- Um, uh, just... Show him your card.
- My what?
1264
01:09:04,516 --> 01:09:06,017
Y-Your card.
1265
01:09:06,101 --> 01:09:08,436
- Your police identification card.
- Oh, yeah, I...
1266
01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:11,481
You know, your card.
He's got his card.
1267
01:09:13,567 --> 01:09:15,485
- Okay.
- Thank you very much. 611?
1268
01:09:15,569 --> 01:09:18,196
- I'm sorry.
- Okay, great.
1269
01:09:18,280 --> 01:09:19,322
Is there any trouble?
1270
01:09:19,406 --> 01:09:22,200
No, no, no, no. I'm, I'm,
I'm a detective. We...
1271
01:09:22,284 --> 01:09:25,537
They lowered the height requirements,
so I... I'll take this card back.
1272
01:09:25,620 --> 01:09:28,623
- They're expensive.
- Come on.
1273
01:09:37,340 --> 01:09:39,259
Okay.
1274
01:09:39,342 --> 01:09:43,513
- Be careful.
- Telling me to be careful.
1275
01:09:43,597 --> 01:09:45,307
Now just don't upset
anything, okay, Larry?
1276
01:09:45,390 --> 01:09:46,474
I'm not upsetting anything.
1277
01:09:46,558 --> 01:09:49,644
I'm just gonna leave
a set of fingerprints...
1278
01:09:49,728 --> 01:09:51,646
so if there's a trial
we can get trapped.
1279
01:09:51,730 --> 01:09:55,358
All right, now look. The murderer must
have, like, hid in this closet, right?
1280
01:09:55,442 --> 01:09:57,569
- I don't like this. Let's go.
- Right. And then...
1281
01:09:57,652 --> 01:09:59,821
You know, I gotta be up
early tomorrow. I gotta be in temple.
1282
01:09:59,905 --> 01:10:01,865
He must have dragged
the body out really fast.
1283
01:10:02,908 --> 01:10:04,868
- Shh.
- What?
1284
01:10:10,248 --> 01:10:12,334
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
1285
01:10:12,417 --> 01:10:15,378
- I didn't mean... I... It's...
- Oh. Hi.
1286
01:10:15,462 --> 01:10:17,589
You don't have to turn the bed out.
It's not necessary.
1287
01:10:17,672 --> 01:10:19,799
And no croissants
tomorrow for breakfast.
1288
01:10:19,883 --> 01:10:22,052
Here, here. Here, take this
for yourself. I like the towels.
1289
01:10:22,135 --> 01:10:23,803
Keep the little mints
coming on the pillow.
1290
01:10:23,887 --> 01:10:24,930
Oh, Jesus, Larry.
1291
01:10:25,013 --> 01:10:26,932
- I mean, really. Okay, now just...
- Let's go.
1292
01:10:27,015 --> 01:10:29,309
That's why the light was on.
This is crazy.
1293
01:10:29,392 --> 01:10:30,810
- We're gonna get in trouble.
- Just a second.
1294
01:10:30,894 --> 01:10:33,855
Let me just look around here,
just a little bit.
1295
01:10:33,939 --> 01:10:36,191
I did damage. Now I'll be sued.
1296
01:10:36,274 --> 01:10:38,568
- Larry!
- Wh-What?
1297
01:10:38,652 --> 01:10:41,238
Larry, look. Look.
1298
01:10:41,321 --> 01:10:43,448
- I think that's her wedding band, Larry.
- How do you know?
1299
01:10:43,531 --> 01:10:45,617
- How do I know? I saw it on her.
- You did?
1300
01:10:45,700 --> 01:10:47,619
- Yeah. I think so.
- Jesus.
1301
01:10:47,702 --> 01:10:50,997
So much for the police combing every
inch of this place. Where did you find it?
1302
01:10:51,081 --> 01:10:53,250
- I found it behind the door, right there.
- Oh, brother.
1303
01:10:53,333 --> 01:10:54,668
Let's get out of here. Come on.
1304
01:10:54,751 --> 01:10:57,087
Take the ring with you.
Maybe there's a pawnshop open.
1305
01:10:57,170 --> 01:10:59,256
Okay, okay.
1306
01:11:02,342 --> 01:11:04,552
Didn't I tell you the police
weren't very thorough?
1307
01:11:04,636 --> 01:11:06,221
They probably thought we were cranks.
1308
01:11:06,304 --> 01:11:07,931
Right? I mean, we got no body,
1309
01:11:08,014 --> 01:11:10,767
and... I mean, they must get
50 crisis calls a minute.
1310
01:11:10,850 --> 01:11:12,060
Why would they bother with us?
1311
01:11:12,143 --> 01:11:14,145
I don't know. I just know
this is very deep stuff.
1312
01:11:14,229 --> 01:11:16,773
We should not be here.
I'm scared. This is creepy.
1313
01:11:16,856 --> 01:11:17,983
You know what I mean?
1314
01:11:18,066 --> 01:11:20,777
Who knows who's involved?
This could go very deep.
1315
01:11:20,860 --> 01:11:23,780
This could be like with the Warren
Commission or something. I don't like it.
1316
01:11:23,863 --> 01:11:26,449
The Warren Commission.
Oh, my God!
1317
01:11:26,533 --> 01:11:28,827
- What is that?
- Wait a minute. Okay. Now look.
1318
01:11:28,910 --> 01:11:31,162
- The elevator's probably stuck.
- Why are we stopping?
1319
01:11:31,246 --> 01:11:33,415
- Relax now, Larry. It's okay.
- Don't tell me to relax!
1320
01:11:33,498 --> 01:11:36,459
- I'm a world-renowned claustrophobic.
- Everything's gonna be fine.
1321
01:11:36,543 --> 01:11:39,462
- Hit something. I don't like this.
- I am hitting it.
1322
01:11:39,546 --> 01:11:41,464
- I know, I know. It's okay.
- It's easy for you to say.
1323
01:11:41,548 --> 01:11:43,967
- But I can't breathe. I'm phobic.
- This is crazy.
1324
01:11:44,050 --> 01:11:46,177
The idea is, there's plenty
of air in this elevator.
1325
01:11:46,261 --> 01:11:47,971
Larry, relax. Just don't panic.
1326
01:11:48,054 --> 01:11:50,223
- Okay? Don't panic, all right?
- I'm not panicking.
1327
01:11:50,307 --> 01:11:53,393
- Now just don't worry.
- I'm just gonna say the rosary now.
1328
01:11:53,476 --> 01:11:56,646
Somebody'll help us. Somebody's gonna
help us. Somebody'll find us here.
1329
01:11:56,730 --> 01:11:58,440
- Hello? Hello!
- I don't like this.
1330
01:11:58,523 --> 01:12:00,525
Say something. Stop it.
1331
01:12:00,608 --> 01:12:03,528
- Hello? Oh, God, look, just...
- I don't like this.
1332
01:12:03,611 --> 01:12:06,740
I'm running over a field.
I see open meadows. I see a stallion.
1333
01:12:06,823 --> 01:12:09,701
Shut up, Larry. Larry,
just shut up and calm down.
1334
01:12:09,784 --> 01:12:11,161
I see grass, I see dirt.
1335
01:12:11,244 --> 01:12:14,331
Okay? You're gonna be a...
Larry, shut up. Hello, hello?
1336
01:12:14,414 --> 01:12:16,916
- You said, "Act like a policeman."
- I know, yeah.
1337
01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:19,502
- You said, "Show them your card."
- Okay, wait a minute.
1338
01:12:19,586 --> 01:12:21,504
- I said, "What card?"
- Here, just... Larry, boost me up.
1339
01:12:21,588 --> 01:12:23,673
We'll get out there.
We're gonna do it.
1340
01:12:23,757 --> 01:12:26,092
- I can't get through those things. No.
- Yes, we can. I can loosen it.
1341
01:12:26,176 --> 01:12:29,179
- It'll never open. They're painted shut.
- Larry, come on.
1342
01:12:29,262 --> 01:12:32,182
- They never open.
- All right, put your hand together.
1343
01:12:32,265 --> 01:12:35,185
- I'm breathing. I can't breathe.
- No, no, it's okay. Larry!
1344
01:12:35,268 --> 01:12:37,228
Larry, all I have to do
is loosen that, okay?
1345
01:12:37,312 --> 01:12:40,857
- I'm fainting because the air's...
- Put your hand together.
1346
01:12:40,940 --> 01:12:44,861
Now give me a boost, okay?
You ready? Wait a second. Wait, wait!
1347
01:12:44,944 --> 01:12:48,365
Oh, Jesus. You've gotta
cut down on those rich desserts.
1348
01:12:48,448 --> 01:12:51,368
Oh, wait a minute now.
Just wait. Wait, wait.
1349
01:12:51,451 --> 01:12:54,371
Let's go. My life
is passing in front of my eyes.
1350
01:12:54,454 --> 01:12:56,915
The worst part of it is
I'm driving a used car.
1351
01:12:56,998 --> 01:13:00,168
Okay, now you'd think
they'd loosen this stupid thing.
1352
01:13:00,251 --> 01:13:01,461
I'm scared.
1353
01:13:01,544 --> 01:13:04,672
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God, it's her!
1354
01:13:04,756 --> 01:13:06,299
So that's where he hid her.
1355
01:13:06,383 --> 01:13:08,676
Oh, Jesus. Claustrophobia
and a dead body.
1356
01:13:08,760 --> 01:13:12,180
- This is a neurotic's jackpot.
- Ohhh! Oh, Larry!
1357
01:13:12,263 --> 01:13:13,598
- Oh, no, I'm scared.
- We're going down.
1358
01:13:13,681 --> 01:13:15,600
Oh, God, what's happening?
1359
01:13:15,683 --> 01:13:17,602
- Oh, God, press up! Press up!
- Press up?
1360
01:13:17,685 --> 01:13:20,397
I can't see my hand.
How can I press up?
1361
01:13:20,480 --> 01:13:22,023
We must be heading
for the basement, Larry.
1362
01:13:22,107 --> 01:13:25,902
The basement. I want to get off on
the mezzanine. I'm returning shoes.
1363
01:13:27,404 --> 01:13:28,738
- It's dark here.
- What?
1364
01:13:28,822 --> 01:13:31,282
- What are you doing?
- I'm getting back on the elevator.
1365
01:13:31,366 --> 01:13:33,576
- I can't see anything.
- There's nothing up here.
1366
01:13:33,660 --> 01:13:36,162
Wait a minute. What are you doing?
1367
01:13:36,246 --> 01:13:38,248
Hey, what are you
doing with matches?
1368
01:13:38,331 --> 01:13:39,666
Th-These are my matches.
1369
01:13:39,749 --> 01:13:43,086
- I got them at... Look.
- When were you at the Café des Artistes?
1370
01:13:43,169 --> 01:13:46,172
I got... Yeah, I was
with an author... an authoress.
1371
01:13:46,256 --> 01:13:47,382
At the Café des Artistes?
1372
01:13:47,465 --> 01:13:49,759
Yeah, a French,
a French authoress. An author.
1373
01:13:49,843 --> 01:13:54,639
Okay, all right.
Shh, shh, shh, shh. Wait.
1374
01:13:54,722 --> 01:13:56,641
- Shh. Try this way.
- Jesus.
1375
01:13:56,724 --> 01:13:59,519
I like a basement with
knotty pine and a pool table.
1376
01:13:59,602 --> 01:14:00,895
You know, where you can...
1377
01:14:00,979 --> 01:14:04,107
Hey, look, look, look.
Look. What's this?
1378
01:14:04,190 --> 01:14:05,984
Wait a minute, not so fast.
I don't like it here, it's dank.
1379
01:14:06,067 --> 01:14:06,901
Don't worry.
1380
01:14:06,985 --> 01:14:09,946
- There's strange noises.
- All right.
1381
01:14:10,029 --> 01:14:11,948
I don't know what this is. Jesus!
1382
01:14:12,031 --> 01:14:14,200
Ohh!
1383
01:14:14,284 --> 01:14:15,577
Calm down.
1384
01:14:15,660 --> 01:14:18,079
Calm down?
Don't tell me to calm down.
1385
01:14:18,163 --> 01:14:20,623
- There, I found the light.
- This... Wh... I don't... What do you...
1386
01:14:20,707 --> 01:14:23,209
Let me see. Where... There. Oh!
1387
01:14:23,293 --> 01:14:24,878
We're locked in here.
What're we gonna do?
1388
01:14:24,961 --> 01:14:26,629
Relax, relax, relax.
1389
01:14:26,713 --> 01:14:29,257
- I'll break it down. Stand back.
- Careful now.
1390
01:14:29,340 --> 01:14:31,468
- Don't worry. Just give me a second.
- Don't hurt yourself.
1391
01:14:31,551 --> 01:14:34,888
- Must be one of those new doors.
- Wait. Okay, no, no.
1392
01:14:34,971 --> 01:14:38,516
Over here. Let's try out here.
1393
01:14:42,312 --> 01:14:45,607
Oh, God, I keep hearing noises.
1394
01:14:45,690 --> 01:14:48,610
- Oh, what's down there?
- Where? Where you...
1395
01:14:48,693 --> 01:14:51,446
- Where are you going? Don't leave me.
- Let me see. It's okay.
1396
01:14:51,529 --> 01:14:53,406
What? Oh! Yeah, I think this is it.
1397
01:14:53,490 --> 01:14:55,200
- I think this is the service compartment.
- Well, come on.
1398
01:14:55,283 --> 01:14:56,910
- I'm trying.
- Come on, get it open.
1399
01:14:56,993 --> 01:14:58,786
- I got it.
- Go into a trot.
1400
01:15:01,206 --> 01:15:03,333
- Let's go.
- Where?
1401
01:15:03,416 --> 01:15:04,792
Let's go.
1402
01:15:04,876 --> 01:15:07,003
- Oh, wait, wait! Did you see that?
- What?
1403
01:15:07,086 --> 01:15:08,796
It looks like somebody's
putting a body into a car.
1404
01:15:08,880 --> 01:15:09,714
Jesus.
1405
01:15:09,797 --> 01:15:13,009
It's got a white sheet on it.
Yeah, come on.
1406
01:15:13,092 --> 01:15:15,220
That is... Oh, brother. Let's...
1407
01:15:15,303 --> 01:15:17,055
- Oh, my God! Wait. Look.
- Let's get out of here.
1408
01:15:17,138 --> 01:15:19,265
- Let's follow them. Come on.
- No, no, no, no.
1409
01:15:19,349 --> 01:15:20,934
- Yeah, no, come on.
- I don't wanna follow it.
1410
01:15:21,017 --> 01:15:24,187
Let's follow it. I swear,
there was a body in that car. Larry
1411
01:15:24,270 --> 01:15:26,231
I don't wanna follow
a car with a body in it.
1412
01:15:26,314 --> 01:15:29,692
- Hurry up!
- It's probably a rented car.
1413
01:15:29,776 --> 01:15:32,529
- There... We gotta get... Come on.
- Or a rented body.
1414
01:15:55,718 --> 01:15:59,055
Jesus, I ca... I can't...
I can't follow his car.
1415
01:15:59,138 --> 01:16:01,558
- But he's right up ahead. He's right there.
- Where up ahead?
1416
01:16:01,641 --> 01:16:04,727
I don't know which car I'm
following here. I'm not a good driver.
1417
01:16:04,811 --> 01:16:07,855
I can't chase somebody in a car.
I'm gonna have an accident.
1418
01:16:07,939 --> 01:16:10,858
I'll wind up hitting
a school bus or something.
1419
01:16:10,942 --> 01:16:13,152
Look, it's nighttime.
There's no school buses at nighttime.
1420
01:16:13,236 --> 01:16:15,613
Don't tell me that.
What about night school?
1421
01:16:22,495 --> 01:16:25,540
- You have no sense of direction.
- Not exactly 20-20 vision.
1422
01:16:25,623 --> 01:16:28,001
- You have no sense...
- Well, not exactly. But anyway...
1423
01:16:28,084 --> 01:16:30,587
- No, I do. He came right here.
- Where the hell are we?
1424
01:16:30,670 --> 01:16:33,673
- What is this? I don't know, but...
- I don't know. There it is!
1425
01:16:33,756 --> 01:16:36,175
- What? How do you know it's his car?
- There's his car right there.
1426
01:16:36,259 --> 01:16:38,553
- Oh, it is his car. Of Course
- It is his car.
1427
01:16:38,636 --> 01:16:40,305
- Let's get out.
- Be careful, okay?
1428
01:16:40,388 --> 01:16:41,764
Let me turn the lights off.
1429
01:16:41,848 --> 01:16:44,767
Be careful, be careful.
Be careful.
1430
01:17:36,319 --> 01:17:39,822
Look, look.
1431
01:17:39,906 --> 01:17:43,910
Oh, my God!
It's Mrs. House's body.
1432
01:17:46,829 --> 01:17:50,500
Come on. We've gotta stop it
before it gets dropped.
1433
01:17:55,797 --> 01:17:57,840
Oh, my God.
1434
01:18:00,468 --> 01:18:02,845
Good-bye, Mrs. House.
1435
01:18:26,619 --> 01:18:29,622
That was Mr. House.
That was definitely Mr. House.
1436
01:18:29,706 --> 01:18:30,998
What are we gonna do?
Come on.
1437
01:18:34,419 --> 01:18:37,839
- I'm gonna call the police now. And get...
- Oh, Larry, and tell them what?
1438
01:18:37,922 --> 01:18:39,465
This guy, you know,
1439
01:18:39,549 --> 01:18:42,468
he's got proof his wife died
of a heart attack two weeks ago.
1440
01:18:42,552 --> 01:18:45,012
We've got no body.
We've got nothing, Larry.
1441
01:18:45,096 --> 01:18:48,015
What, what? What's wrong?
1442
01:18:48,099 --> 01:18:50,393
Oh, my God. Hey.
1443
01:18:50,476 --> 01:18:52,520
Hello there. How are you?
1444
01:18:52,603 --> 01:18:54,814
- How are you?
- Could I introduce Gladys Dalton, my...
1445
01:18:54,897 --> 01:18:56,941
- Mrs. D... How are you?
- ... gal Friday?
1446
01:18:57,024 --> 01:18:59,444
- Hello. Nice to see you.
- This is Larry and Carol, my neighbors.
1447
01:18:59,527 --> 01:19:01,446
We were just watching
Madame Bovary. Wonderful.
1448
01:19:01,529 --> 01:19:03,406
- Such a sad story.
- Yeah, it is.
1449
01:19:03,489 --> 01:19:05,908
Sh-Sh-She gets cremated.
She gets killed at the end.
1450
01:19:05,992 --> 01:19:09,245
Listen, stop up for a drink
before I go on my trip.
1451
01:19:09,328 --> 01:19:11,539
- Love to. See you later.
- See you later. Oh, incidentally,
1452
01:19:11,622 --> 01:19:13,958
if you hear of anybody
who needs an apartment,
1453
01:19:14,041 --> 01:19:15,293
I think I may be moving.
1454
01:19:15,376 --> 01:19:18,838
- Oh. Well... What a shame.
- See you later. Come on, Gladys.
1455
01:19:18,921 --> 01:19:21,716
- Good night.
- Night.
1456
01:19:26,220 --> 01:19:29,015
Jesus. What a day, huh?
1457
01:19:30,183 --> 01:19:32,810
- I can't figure it out.
- Mm-mmm.
1458
01:19:32,894 --> 01:19:34,812
- It's gotta be that...
- What?
1459
01:19:34,896 --> 01:19:38,608
Either she's a twin or he's a twin.
1460
01:19:39,275 --> 01:19:43,070
- He...
- Or they're multiple personalities.
1461
01:19:43,154 --> 01:19:47,033
Or you're a twin or I'm a twin.
1462
01:19:48,868 --> 01:19:51,621
- Because I don't know what's going on.
- You're nuts.
1463
01:19:51,704 --> 01:19:54,624
- You know, look.
- Wait, wait. It...
1464
01:19:54,707 --> 01:19:55,917
Let me be logical about this.
1465
01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:58,044
Okay, she's not a twin.
We know she's not a twin.
1466
01:19:58,127 --> 01:20:00,087
- Hey.
- What are you talking about, Larry?
1467
01:20:00,171 --> 01:20:01,923
Stay calm. I want to
try and puzzle this out.
1468
01:20:02,006 --> 01:20:03,466
I'm calm. Okay but...
1469
01:20:03,549 --> 01:20:05,802
- She's a twin, she's not a twin.
- We're shell-shocked.
1470
01:20:05,885 --> 01:20:08,012
Now you're saying we're twins.
What are you, nuts?
1471
01:20:08,095 --> 01:20:12,350
- Calm down.
- Okay, I'm calm. I'm calm. Okay.
1472
01:20:12,433 --> 01:20:14,477
- Yeah, I'm gonna be logical.
- All right, all right.
1473
01:20:14,560 --> 01:20:17,271
The, um, first thing is this.
1474
01:20:17,355 --> 01:20:20,733
We came home that
night. There had been a heart attack.
1475
01:20:20,817 --> 01:20:23,528
What if they induced it?
Some kind of poison?
1476
01:20:23,611 --> 01:20:26,364
We never saw the body.
It had to be some other woman.
1477
01:20:26,447 --> 01:20:27,698
You know, some woman
1478
01:20:27,782 --> 01:20:31,118
who probably had some kind of
ballpark resemblance to Mrs. House.
1479
01:20:31,202 --> 01:20:34,247
The super says he saw her,
but, uh, he's a drunk, you know.
1480
01:20:34,330 --> 01:20:36,249
Mrs. House could have been hiding.
1481
01:20:36,332 --> 01:20:37,166
Oh.
1482
01:20:37,250 --> 01:20:39,502
But you remember that
you heard a noise that night.
1483
01:20:39,585 --> 01:20:42,463
That had to be Mrs. House
leaving to check into the hotel.
1484
01:20:42,547 --> 01:20:43,381
Yeah.
1485
01:20:43,464 --> 01:20:45,174
Yeah. Well?
1486
01:20:45,258 --> 01:20:47,426
- I can't sleep. I just...
- No, wait a minute, wait.
1487
01:20:47,510 --> 01:20:48,928
It doesn't make any sense
at all, Larry,
1488
01:20:49,011 --> 01:20:50,888
because suddenly he murders her.
1489
01:20:50,972 --> 01:20:52,181
What's it all about?
1490
01:20:52,265 --> 01:20:54,725
Let me... Let me call
Vincent's restaurant in New Jersey.
1491
01:20:54,809 --> 01:20:56,644
And why don't we go meet
Ted and Marcia
1492
01:20:56,727 --> 01:20:57,812
and get something
to eat and talk with them?
1493
01:20:57,895 --> 01:20:59,480
- At 1:00 in the morning?
- Yeah, so what?
1494
01:20:59,564 --> 01:21:00,690
What are you talking about?
1495
01:21:00,773 --> 01:21:03,401
- Ted was taking her to a show and dinner.
- You wanna schlep...
1496
01:21:03,484 --> 01:21:06,362
- all the way out to New Jersey...
- Hey, kid, this is the Apple.
1497
01:21:06,445 --> 01:21:09,282
This is the town that never sleeps.
That's why we don't live in Duluth.
1498
01:21:09,365 --> 01:21:12,535
That, plus I don't know
where Duluth is.
1499
01:21:12,618 --> 01:21:13,911
Lucky me.
1500
01:21:13,995 --> 01:21:17,540
- You really saw his face?
- Yes, oh, yes.
1501
01:21:17,623 --> 01:21:21,377
- I'm here to tell you...
- It was Mr. House. Not a question.
1502
01:21:21,460 --> 01:21:25,381
You could see him. There was just
no way that you could avoid it.
1503
01:21:25,464 --> 01:21:27,633
- To me, it's obvious.
- How do you see it?
1504
01:21:27,717 --> 01:21:29,010
Obvious? What do you mean?
1505
01:21:29,093 --> 01:21:31,220
Obvious he's committed
the perfect murder.
1506
01:21:31,304 --> 01:21:34,307
- What? How? What do you mean?
- Okay, look.
1507
01:21:34,390 --> 01:21:36,100
You have to start off with another woman
1508
01:21:36,183 --> 01:21:38,728
who bears some ballpark
resemblance to Mrs. House.
1509
01:21:38,811 --> 01:21:40,897
- Yes.
- That's what I said! I used "ballpark."
1510
01:21:40,980 --> 01:21:44,567
- I know, right.
- They're with this woman.
1511
01:21:44,650 --> 01:21:46,903
Maybe having dinner.
1512
01:21:46,986 --> 01:21:49,739
They don't induce a heart attack
because that's fiction bullshit.
1513
01:21:49,822 --> 01:21:53,910
She has a heart attack.
She drops dead spontaneously.
1514
01:21:53,993 --> 01:21:56,787
They had no thought of killing her.
Maybe they wished she was dead.
1515
01:21:56,871 --> 01:21:57,705
Why?
1516
01:21:57,788 --> 01:22:00,708
I don't know. Maybe
they stood to gain if she died.
1517
01:22:00,791 --> 01:22:03,044
They see a golden opportunity.
1518
01:22:03,127 --> 01:22:06,213
Mrs. House dresses her up
in her clothes. She hides.
1519
01:22:06,297 --> 01:22:08,049
This is my theory.
Exactly my theory.
1520
01:22:08,132 --> 01:22:10,301
That's right.
She checks into a hotel.
1521
01:22:10,384 --> 01:22:13,304
Well, we got that far with
the exception of the heart attack.
1522
01:22:13,387 --> 01:22:15,890
Okay, you know the husband's
planning to go to Paris
1523
01:22:15,973 --> 01:22:17,141
with this pretty young woman.
1524
01:22:17,224 --> 01:22:19,185
- Yeah.
- He's cheating on his wife.
1525
01:22:19,268 --> 01:22:21,604
So instead of finishing
the scheme they planned,
1526
01:22:21,687 --> 01:22:24,815
he double-crosses her and kills her,
taking her share of the profits.
1527
01:22:24,899 --> 01:22:27,193
You think Helen Moss
is in on this too, huh?
1528
01:22:27,276 --> 01:22:28,653
Yeah, a good chance she's aware.
1529
01:22:28,736 --> 01:22:31,405
Okay, but what about Mrs. Dalton?
He claims he took her to the movies.
1530
01:22:31,489 --> 01:22:35,284
She's his alibi. She covered for him
when he strangled his wife.
1531
01:22:35,368 --> 01:22:36,786
She said he was at work all day.
1532
01:22:36,869 --> 01:22:38,871
That's right. He introduced
her as a colleague.
1533
01:22:38,955 --> 01:22:40,915
- A colleague who maybe loves him.
- Oh, God.
1534
01:22:40,998 --> 01:22:44,085
- Wait, wait. He's cheating on her too!
- Cheating on two women?
1535
01:22:44,168 --> 01:22:46,629
- Yeah, it's perfect. It all fits.
- This guy doesn't look the part.
1536
01:22:46,712 --> 01:22:49,131
The point is, he's gotten away
with the perfect murder.
1537
01:22:49,215 --> 01:22:51,258
There are no bodies around
to prove anything.
1538
01:22:51,342 --> 01:22:54,470
And all the paperwork's strictly
aboveboard. He's home free.
1539
01:22:54,553 --> 01:22:56,764
Where did you find this woman?
She's a genius.
1540
01:22:56,847 --> 01:22:59,809
She's brilliant, but the guy...
He knows that we know.
1541
01:22:59,892 --> 01:23:01,811
But he doesn't care. Why should he?
1542
01:23:01,894 --> 01:23:04,814
Everything's been neatly disposed of.
He's home free.
1543
01:23:04,897 --> 01:23:07,400
Only he, and maybe his mistress,
know the truth.
1544
01:23:07,483 --> 01:23:08,317
Well, just...
1545
01:23:08,401 --> 01:23:10,361
- She's right, there's no body.
- Hold... Hold on one second.
1546
01:23:10,444 --> 01:23:12,571
We don't know this is true.
This is just a theory.
1547
01:23:12,655 --> 01:23:14,156
Yeah, but it's a great theory.
1548
01:23:14,240 --> 01:23:18,202
- Are you paying attention?
- It holds water. Everything fits together.
1549
01:23:18,285 --> 01:23:21,288
- I think it's great.
- When I come back from the ladies room,
1550
01:23:21,372 --> 01:23:24,834
- I'll tell you how to trap him.
- Oh, excuse me.
1551
01:23:24,917 --> 01:23:27,753
- Where did you find her?
- Unbelievable. Unbelievable, is she not?
1552
01:23:27,837 --> 01:23:30,089
- She's really something.
- Her mind, it just goes.
1553
01:23:30,172 --> 01:23:32,550
One idea after another,
one thing leads to another.
1554
01:23:32,633 --> 01:23:35,386
I'm surprised you two
didn't drool yourselves to death.
1555
01:23:35,469 --> 01:23:38,180
- Oh, don't be so...
- We just had a nice first date.
1556
01:23:38,264 --> 01:23:40,891
- I knew that they would hit it off.
- Yeah, him. Yeah, uh-huh.
1557
01:23:40,975 --> 01:23:43,978
What about you? You were gonna
jump into her lap. I saw you, Larry.
1558
01:23:44,061 --> 01:23:45,688
- What are you talking about?
- Huh?
1559
01:23:45,771 --> 01:23:48,858
What's wrong with you? I'm her editor.
I'm a father figure to her.
1560
01:23:48,941 --> 01:23:52,194
The only thing you didn't do was rub
your hands together. That was it.
1561
01:23:52,278 --> 01:23:55,197
You've gotta be joking. Are you
telling me that you're jealous of Marcia?
1562
01:23:55,281 --> 01:23:57,658
- Kids, kids, people, people.
- It's not that I'm jealous.
1563
01:23:57,742 --> 01:24:00,202
- What are we doing here?
- Yeah, look who's talking.
1564
01:24:00,286 --> 01:24:03,831
My God, I mean, you kept staring into
her eyes like she was the Dragon Lady.
1565
01:24:03,914 --> 01:24:07,251
What's wrong with you? You're
jealous 'cause he's interested in her?
1566
01:24:07,334 --> 01:24:08,919
I'm interested in her theory.
1567
01:24:09,003 --> 01:24:11,881
I'd just like to know if you
take all your authors to lunch...
1568
01:24:11,964 --> 01:24:15,217
Okay, I've got it.
1569
01:24:15,301 --> 01:24:19,680
Here's the story. Since he's gotten
away with it, all we can do is bluff.
1570
01:24:19,764 --> 01:24:22,767
As long as we have no body,
we have no case.
1571
01:24:22,850 --> 01:24:24,852
What do you mean?
1572
01:24:24,935 --> 01:24:27,772
We pretend that he slipped up
and the molten steel didn't do the job?
1573
01:24:27,855 --> 01:24:28,898
What do you mean?
1574
01:24:28,981 --> 01:24:32,234
Yeah, it's possible. He saw you there.
He knows you're onto him.
1575
01:24:32,318 --> 01:24:35,071
After he ran away, why couldn't
you have retrieved the body?
1576
01:24:35,154 --> 01:24:38,824
You're kidding! I would've wound up
with a few toes and a shoulder, maybe.
1577
01:24:38,908 --> 01:24:41,410
Okay, you have the body.
What does he know?
1578
01:24:41,494 --> 01:24:44,413
He was probably too scared
to be very lucid. He's an amateur.
1579
01:24:44,497 --> 01:24:47,708
He dumped the body and ran off,
and then somehow, who knows,
1580
01:24:47,792 --> 01:24:48,876
you two dug her out.
1581
01:24:48,959 --> 01:24:51,337
- Now you can send him to the chair.
- Okay, okay, just...
1582
01:24:51,420 --> 01:24:52,838
I like this woman. She's lurid.
1583
01:24:52,922 --> 01:24:55,341
Let me tell you why he's not
going to believe us, okay?
1584
01:24:55,424 --> 01:24:58,010
First of all, 'cause I can't
bluff or lie without giggling.
1585
01:24:58,094 --> 01:25:01,972
No, because if we really
had the body, why tell him?
1586
01:25:02,056 --> 01:25:04,266
Why not go straight to the police?
1587
01:25:04,350 --> 01:25:06,685
If you tell the cops,
you can't shake him down.
1588
01:25:06,769 --> 01:25:10,731
Oh, she's wicked.
Look... Look how this works out.
1589
01:25:10,815 --> 01:25:13,275
You go to the law, what do you gain?
1590
01:25:13,359 --> 01:25:15,945
I mean, so maybe they,
they put him in jail.
1591
01:25:16,028 --> 01:25:18,989
What have you got?
You haven't got anything.
1592
01:25:19,073 --> 01:25:21,617
But if he wants the evidence,
and he's got to pay for it...
1593
01:25:21,700 --> 01:25:23,285
Okay, now he's nervous, right?
1594
01:25:23,369 --> 01:25:25,746
Yeah, no, no, wait. There's
just so many fallacies in this.
1595
01:25:25,830 --> 01:25:27,331
- I can't even count them.
- What? Name one.
1596
01:25:27,414 --> 01:25:30,292
Name one? Okay, the guy looks us
straight in the eyes and says,
1597
01:25:30,376 --> 01:25:33,420
"What body? What the hell
are you talking about? Prove it."
1598
01:25:33,504 --> 01:25:36,173
- That's when we keep bluffing.
- What? How? What do we do?
1599
01:25:36,257 --> 01:25:37,341
We produce the body.
1600
01:25:37,424 --> 01:25:39,844
Yeah, but where are we gonna
get it? Madame Tussaud's?
1601
01:25:39,927 --> 01:25:40,761
Yeah.
1602
01:25:40,845 --> 01:25:42,847
Say we found someone
to corroborate this story.
1603
01:25:42,930 --> 01:25:44,890
- Someone he trusted.
- Like who?
1604
01:25:44,974 --> 01:25:47,017
Like his lover.
Say she called and said,
1605
01:25:47,101 --> 01:25:49,812
"Paul, I've just seen Lillian's body.
They want $100,000."
1606
01:25:49,895 --> 01:25:51,647
Why would she do that?
1607
01:25:53,357 --> 01:25:56,152
Remember that book
you recommended to me?
1608
01:25:56,235 --> 01:25:57,695
Murder in Manhattan?
1609
01:25:57,778 --> 01:26:00,489
Yes, Max Schindler's book.
That's right, the phone call.
1610
01:26:00,573 --> 01:26:03,284
I don't remember that book.
You never mentioned that book.
1611
01:26:03,367 --> 01:26:06,620
- No, 'cause you don't like light reading.
- Since when, Larry?
1612
01:26:06,704 --> 01:26:08,080
I don't know this book.
What is this book?
1613
01:26:08,164 --> 01:26:09,331
It's fantastic.
1614
01:26:09,415 --> 01:26:13,669
It would be so perfect because
she's an actress, a would-be actress.
1615
01:26:13,752 --> 01:26:16,463
And you're... We could use
his theater. He's a playwright.
1616
01:26:16,547 --> 01:26:19,341
This is so perfect. Your theater
is empty all the time anyhow.
1617
01:26:19,425 --> 01:26:21,510
- Oh, God.
- Yeah, thank you. That's great.
1618
01:26:21,594 --> 01:26:23,137
What are we talking about?
What do you mean?
1619
01:26:23,220 --> 01:26:27,766
Listen to this. What you do is,
we get her in for a fake audition,
1620
01:26:27,850 --> 01:26:30,477
and you write some lines
that don't mean anything.
1621
01:26:30,561 --> 01:26:32,688
And she does them and she
doesn't know what she's doing,
1622
01:26:32,771 --> 01:26:33,814
and we tape-record it.
1623
01:26:33,898 --> 01:26:37,526
- Listen to this. Then we edit it up.
- I'm listening.
1624
01:26:37,610 --> 01:26:41,030
- And we make one end of a phone call,
- What...
1625
01:26:41,113 --> 01:26:43,199
and we play it into
the phone to Mr. House.
1626
01:26:43,282 --> 01:26:44,200
This is in the book?
1627
01:26:44,283 --> 01:26:46,035
- This is perfect.
- Oh, come on!
1628
01:26:46,118 --> 01:26:48,454
That could never, ever work
in a million years.
1629
01:26:48,537 --> 01:26:50,372
You don't know what he's going to say.
1630
01:26:50,456 --> 01:26:52,374
In the book they use
several tape recorders.
1631
01:26:52,458 --> 01:26:54,376
- In the book?
- It's coordinated.
1632
01:26:54,460 --> 01:26:57,713
You mean you're basing your plan
on some dumb paperback?
1633
01:26:57,796 --> 01:27:00,090
- This is great. I like... No, it's great.
- No, really. Oh.
1634
01:27:00,174 --> 01:27:01,508
He's gotten away with murder.
1635
01:27:01,592 --> 01:27:04,178
Our only chance is to nab him
as he tries to kill again...
1636
01:27:04,261 --> 01:27:05,304
to cover his tracks.
1637
01:27:05,387 --> 01:27:08,515
It's great.
It provokes him to kill again.
1638
01:27:08,599 --> 01:27:10,935
Exactly. He's gotten
away with the first murder.
1639
01:27:11,018 --> 01:27:13,812
You know what I'm thinking,
though? In the book...
1640
01:27:13,896 --> 01:27:16,732
what happens is, now that
I think of it, he... he kills the,
1641
01:27:16,815 --> 01:27:19,360
the two people that are
working the scheme on him.
1642
01:27:19,443 --> 01:27:21,737
But you're not worried about that.
1643
01:27:21,820 --> 01:27:23,072
- Um, well, I don't know.
- It's perfect.
1644
01:27:23,155 --> 01:27:26,283
Either that or I've just
developed Parkinson's.
1645
01:27:26,367 --> 01:27:28,077
No, we can handle him.
Listen, this is incredible.
1646
01:27:28,160 --> 01:27:29,078
He knows you're onto him.
1647
01:27:29,161 --> 01:27:31,872
You shake him down,
he comes after you, we nab him.
1648
01:27:31,956 --> 01:27:33,624
It's great. You're wonderful.
I just... I'm amazed.
1649
01:27:33,707 --> 01:27:35,292
- I just...
- It's either that or he walks.
1650
01:27:35,376 --> 01:27:37,962
Wait, so what you're saying is...
1651
01:27:38,045 --> 01:27:41,257
Wait. Okay, what you're saying...
Oh, boy. You're saying...
1652
01:27:41,340 --> 01:27:45,886
you wanna provoke Mr. House
into trying to murder Larry and me?
1653
01:27:45,970 --> 01:27:48,639
Yeah. It's perfect.
You're not scared, are you?
1654
01:27:48,722 --> 01:27:52,059
No, no, no, I'm not scared. I just
wanna turn it over in my mind.
1655
01:27:52,142 --> 01:27:54,520
I just wanna check with my
clergyman before we commit.
1656
01:27:56,647 --> 01:27:59,608
Hi, uh, B-24, messages?
1657
01:27:59,692 --> 01:28:02,361
Oh, really? Audition for what?
1658
01:28:02,444 --> 01:28:04,822
Did he say? Okay, okay.
1659
01:28:04,905 --> 01:28:06,782
Wait, hold on. Let me get a pencil.
1660
01:28:08,117 --> 01:28:09,535
Okay.
1661
01:28:09,618 --> 01:28:13,163
Yeah, well, Dad, you know,
I've heard just about enough of this.
1662
01:28:13,247 --> 01:28:15,165
Good, that's great.
Thank you, Suzanne. Thank you.
1663
01:28:15,249 --> 01:28:17,251
We'll let you know.
That's Suzanne Raphael, right?
1664
01:28:17,334 --> 01:28:18,877
Good. Thank you.
1665
01:28:18,961 --> 01:28:21,922
Bye.
1666
01:28:22,006 --> 01:28:23,924
- This is Helen Moss.
- Hi, there.
1667
01:28:24,008 --> 01:28:25,926
- Hi.
- Hi.
1668
01:28:26,010 --> 01:28:30,306
Uh, have you, uh...
I know you just got the material,
1669
01:28:30,389 --> 01:28:33,142
you know, just in the...
last little while, but, uh...
1670
01:28:33,225 --> 01:28:35,477
h-have you had a chance
to study it, go over it a little bit?
1671
01:28:35,561 --> 01:28:38,814
Yes, yes, I have, but, um,
I have just a few questions.
1672
01:28:38,897 --> 01:28:41,734
- Sure, yeah.
- Is she divorced in this?
1673
01:28:41,817 --> 01:28:46,030
- Uh... yes, yes.
- Recently?
1674
01:28:46,113 --> 01:28:50,242
Yes. Yeah. But she's
very highly emotional.
1675
01:28:50,326 --> 01:28:52,661
- Yeah.
- You know, really... a lot of...
1676
01:28:52,745 --> 01:28:55,414
- Mmm.
- ... feeling, very strong.
1677
01:28:55,497 --> 01:28:57,666
- Oh. Shall I just begin?
- Hmm?
1678
01:28:57,750 --> 01:29:00,419
Yeah, just, you know, whenever...
whenever you feel into it.
1679
01:29:00,502 --> 01:29:04,423
Yeah.
1680
01:29:12,473 --> 01:29:15,934
- "Hello, Joe? I... I was just... "
- Uh, let me stop you right there.
1681
01:29:16,018 --> 01:29:20,189
I'm sorry. Uh, if you'll be...
If you'll start out more frightened,
1682
01:29:20,272 --> 01:29:22,316
then that'll take you
where you're gonna go.
1683
01:29:22,399 --> 01:29:23,692
Right, right.
1684
01:29:29,114 --> 01:29:30,699
"Hello, Joe?
1685
01:29:32,576 --> 01:29:33,952
I can't talk much now.
1686
01:29:34,036 --> 01:29:36,705
And if I sound strange,
don't get alarmed."
1687
01:29:36,789 --> 01:29:39,541
"Give me your hand. Hold on.
1688
01:29:39,625 --> 01:29:41,919
Try not to fall. Hold on."
1689
01:29:42,002 --> 01:29:45,089
- "I'm trying, I'm trying."
- "Quickly. Hurry."
1690
01:29:45,172 --> 01:29:49,093
"They're asking $200,000 for it. Yeah!
1691
01:29:49,176 --> 01:29:52,179
They say it's a Monet, but I say it's a fake."
1692
01:29:52,262 --> 01:29:55,557
"Ever since Joe
came home from Vietnam,
1693
01:29:55,641 --> 01:29:57,726
he's cast a pall on everything.
1694
01:29:57,810 --> 01:30:01,313
A dark cloud, a pall."
1695
01:30:06,693 --> 01:30:10,239
Hello, Joe?
I can't talk much right now.
1696
01:30:10,322 --> 01:30:12,699
And if I sound strange,
don't get alarmed.
1697
01:30:17,037 --> 01:30:20,707
Hello, Joe?
I can't talk much right now.
1698
01:30:24,420 --> 01:30:27,506
Hello, Joe?
1699
01:30:27,589 --> 01:30:29,716
Ever since
Joe came back from Vietnam,
1700
01:30:29,800 --> 01:30:31,802
he's cast a pall on everything.
1701
01:30:31,885 --> 01:30:34,721
A dark cloud, a pall.
1702
01:30:34,805 --> 01:30:36,723
A pall.
1703
01:30:36,807 --> 01:30:39,268
Pall.
1704
01:30:39,351 --> 01:30:42,062
Pall.
1705
01:30:42,146 --> 01:30:45,399
Hello, Joe?
1706
01:30:45,482 --> 01:30:48,277
Hello, Joe?
1707
01:31:05,544 --> 01:31:08,755
Hello, "Pall"? I can't talk much right now.
1708
01:31:08,839 --> 01:31:11,675
And if I sound strange, don't get alarmed.
1709
01:31:11,758 --> 01:31:15,137
- Hmm, perfect. You did great, great.
- That's great.
1710
01:31:15,220 --> 01:31:17,473
Well, yeah, excuse me.
Hey, don't worry, yeah.
1711
01:31:17,556 --> 01:31:19,516
- Thank you.
- Fantastic.
1712
01:31:20,851 --> 01:31:22,769
- There she is.
- Where?
1713
01:31:22,853 --> 01:31:25,105
- You have to keep her busy all afternoon.
- Yeah, yeah, okay.
1714
01:31:25,189 --> 01:31:27,566
- I'll just keep improvising, okay?
- Well, it shouldn't be too hard.
1715
01:31:27,649 --> 01:31:30,027
She's a hungry actress,
you're a playwright with a role.
1716
01:31:30,110 --> 01:31:32,029
I'll talk about the play,
get her talking about the part.
1717
01:31:32,112 --> 01:31:32,946
Okay. Good.
1718
01:31:33,030 --> 01:31:34,781
I'll get her talking about her life
and background.
1719
01:31:34,865 --> 01:31:36,533
Stop the car, I'm gonna get out.
1720
01:31:36,617 --> 01:31:38,660
- We'll hook up later.
- Good luck with your side. Okay.
1721
01:31:38,744 --> 01:31:41,663
Listen, does anybody want
some guacamole or something?
1722
01:31:41,747 --> 01:31:43,081
Stop with the guacamole.
1723
01:31:43,165 --> 01:31:45,000
We have to get started
with this. It's 2:30.
1724
01:31:45,083 --> 01:31:47,544
- He should be back from lunch.
- Yeah, all right, let's go.
1725
01:31:47,628 --> 01:31:49,838
Everybody's got the right tape
recorder and the right tape in?
1726
01:31:49,922 --> 01:31:52,591
- Yes, we do.
- All right, one second.
1727
01:31:52,674 --> 01:31:55,469
- So, uh... Speaker.
- Oh, this is so insane.
1728
01:31:55,552 --> 01:32:00,224
- Now, wait, wait, wait, there's, uh...
- I'm not nervous.
1729
01:32:00,307 --> 01:32:02,267
I have the contractor come in
and nobody was here.
1730
01:32:03,310 --> 01:32:06,647
- I'll get that. You go and call him.
- Yes, yes. All right.
1731
01:32:13,904 --> 01:32:14,905
Hello?
1732
01:32:14,988 --> 01:32:17,074
Hello, Paul?
1733
01:32:17,157 --> 01:32:22,037
I can't talk much right now.
And if I sound strange, don't get alarmed.
1734
01:32:23,038 --> 01:32:24,581
What's the problem?
1735
01:32:25,165 --> 01:32:28,252
They have your wife's body.
They showed it to me.
1736
01:32:29,461 --> 01:32:31,213
Say that again.
1737
01:32:36,718 --> 01:32:39,763
They have your wife's body.
They showed it to me.
1738
01:32:39,846 --> 01:32:42,182
Exactly who has it?
How many are there?
1739
01:32:42,266 --> 01:32:47,020
Your neighbors. That's right.
They want $200, 000 for it.
1740
01:32:48,105 --> 01:32:49,690
Where are you calling from?
There's an echo.
1741
01:32:49,773 --> 01:32:51,358
Are you on a speakerphone?
1742
01:32:53,652 --> 01:32:54,861
Hold on.
1743
01:32:54,945 --> 01:32:56,572
We don't have an answer.
What are we gonna do?
1744
01:32:56,655 --> 01:32:59,950
- Go to a different thought.
- What thought? Wait.
1745
01:33:00,033 --> 01:33:00,867
Shh.
1746
01:33:00,951 --> 01:33:03,453
You've either gotta pay them off
or get rid of them.
1747
01:33:03,537 --> 01:33:06,707
Look, we can't talk about this
on the phone. Can you meet me?
1748
01:33:06,790 --> 01:33:09,585
Yes! They're keeping it refrigerated.
1749
01:33:09,668 --> 01:33:12,170
What? What did you say?
1750
01:33:12,254 --> 01:33:14,172
About two hours ago.
1751
01:33:14,256 --> 01:33:16,842
Two... What? Two hours, what?
1752
01:33:18,969 --> 01:33:21,346
- Hold on.
- Jesus, we're all screwed up.
1753
01:33:21,430 --> 01:33:24,433
Okay, let's get off as quick
as possible. We've done it.
1754
01:33:24,516 --> 01:33:28,729
- Well, do something. Do something.
- Shh. Um, okay. Shh.
1755
01:33:31,356 --> 01:33:34,192
Hello, Paul?
I can't talk much right now.
1756
01:33:34,276 --> 01:33:37,029
And if I sound strange,
don't get alarmed.
1757
01:33:37,112 --> 01:33:38,697
Look, Helen, you're not making sense.
1758
01:33:38,780 --> 01:33:40,907
I know you're upset, but you
have to pull yourself together.
1759
01:33:40,991 --> 01:33:43,327
Now, can we meet?
The usual spot.
1760
01:33:43,410 --> 01:33:44,786
Hold on.
1761
01:33:46,330 --> 01:33:49,791
Helen? Helen,
are you still there?
1762
01:33:49,875 --> 01:33:51,043
Helen?
1763
01:33:51,126 --> 01:33:53,128
- Okay, hurry up, hurry up. Okay.
- Forget it.
1764
01:33:53,211 --> 01:33:57,132
- Somebody press something. Come on.
- Come on, Carol. You do it.
1765
01:33:57,215 --> 01:33:59,259
You have no choice.
They've got the goods.
1766
01:33:59,343 --> 01:34:03,055
You just pay them off or get
rid of them. I have to hang up.
1767
01:34:20,947 --> 01:34:23,200
What's the matter, Paul?
You look all shaken up.
1768
01:34:23,283 --> 01:34:24,242
No, no. It's nothing.
1769
01:34:24,326 --> 01:34:28,288
- I worry about you these days, Paul.
- I'm fine. I'm fine.
1770
01:34:28,372 --> 01:34:29,456
You're different.
1771
01:34:29,539 --> 01:34:31,625
I said I was fine.
Will you stop interfering?
1772
01:34:32,959 --> 01:34:35,545
- You never used to pull away from me.
- I told you leave me alone!
1773
01:34:35,629 --> 01:34:38,006
I don't want to have
this conversation all the time.
1774
01:34:46,014 --> 01:34:48,809
Great. Right. Now, my job
is to wait exactly one hour...
1775
01:34:48,892 --> 01:34:50,977
and call Mr. House
from a phone booth.
1776
01:34:51,061 --> 01:34:53,271
- Where are you running so fast?
- I have to go home and change.
1777
01:34:53,355 --> 01:34:55,607
I've got an appointment
with a friend of Ted's.
1778
01:34:55,691 --> 01:34:58,985
- What are you so steamed up about?
- What do you mean?
1779
01:34:59,069 --> 01:35:02,531
I just don't understand how you could
give a book to Marcia and not to me.
1780
01:35:02,614 --> 01:35:04,408
What are you talking about?
We just had a big success.
1781
01:35:04,491 --> 01:35:05,325
What?
1782
01:35:05,409 --> 01:35:08,203
- Marcia likes to read what I like to read.
- Oh, right. God, yeah.
1783
01:35:08,286 --> 01:35:11,498
I guess it's true. We've got
nothing in common, that's for sure.
1784
01:35:11,581 --> 01:35:14,876
Now that Nick's grown up,
we're left facing each other.
1785
01:35:14,960 --> 01:35:16,920
You got stuff in common with Ted.
You can cook with Ted.
1786
01:35:17,003 --> 01:35:17,838
Yeah, Ted...
1787
01:35:17,921 --> 01:35:20,132
Or you can take your clothes off
and baste a chicken with him.
1788
01:35:20,215 --> 01:35:23,719
What about you and Marcia? What
does she teach you besides poker?
1789
01:35:23,802 --> 01:35:26,680
Mud wrestling. Is that what you
wanna hear? Nothing. I'm her editor.
1790
01:35:26,763 --> 01:35:28,932
I think the time has come
for us to reevaluate our lives.
1791
01:35:29,015 --> 01:35:30,559
- I reevaluated our lives.
- Yeah.
1792
01:35:30,642 --> 01:35:32,894
I got a ten, you got a six.
1793
01:35:32,978 --> 01:35:36,106
Listen, I think maybe I will
go back to seeing my shrink.
1794
01:35:36,189 --> 01:35:38,483
You don't have to.
There's nothing wrong with you
1795
01:35:38,567 --> 01:35:40,902
that can't be cured with a
little Prozac and a polo mallet.
1796
01:35:40,986 --> 01:35:43,321
I just would like to be alone
for a while. Okay, Larry?
1797
01:35:43,405 --> 01:35:46,533
- What are you talk...
- Just... I... Okay?
1798
01:35:48,452 --> 01:35:51,163
So I have, like, this really
crazy father and everything.
1799
01:35:51,246 --> 01:35:52,080
Oh, yeah?
1800
01:35:52,164 --> 01:35:54,833
Yeah, he's wanted, like, in three states.
He has a terrible driving record.
1801
01:35:54,916 --> 01:35:57,085
So we had to move from Virginia,
then to New Jersey...
1802
01:35:57,169 --> 01:35:58,920
Your father is wanted
in three states for driving?
1803
01:35:59,004 --> 01:36:00,338
Yeah, for driving. Yeah.
1804
01:36:00,422 --> 01:36:03,049
So I moved to Hackensack,
and then... Well, anyway,
1805
01:36:03,133 --> 01:36:05,051
I was in all these different contests,
1806
01:36:05,135 --> 01:36:07,262
and I was even...
Miss, uh, Teenage Passaic.
1807
01:36:07,345 --> 01:36:08,889
- Oh, how wonderful.
- Yeah.
1808
01:36:47,427 --> 01:36:50,305
Was that before or after
the fourth abortion?
1809
01:36:50,388 --> 01:36:52,599
Well, after the fourth,
but before the drama prize.
1810
01:36:52,682 --> 01:36:53,517
The drama prize?
1811
01:36:53,600 --> 01:36:56,436
- And... Mm-hmm. Remember?
- I don't remember the... What?
1812
01:36:56,520 --> 01:36:59,439
"Out, out, damned spot"?
The topless Macbeth?
1813
01:36:59,523 --> 01:37:01,608
Oh, yeah. Oh,
for the fraternity party, yeah.
1814
01:37:01,691 --> 01:37:02,526
Yeah, yeah.
1815
01:37:02,609 --> 01:37:04,277
Topless Macbeth.
How could I forget that?
1816
01:37:04,361 --> 01:37:05,403
I was great in that.
1817
01:37:17,249 --> 01:37:20,836
Hello, Mr. House?
This is Larry Lipton.
1818
01:37:20,919 --> 01:37:25,006
I... I got a package
I think you're gonna want.
1819
01:37:25,090 --> 01:37:29,010
Of course,
it's gonna cost you... $200,000...
1820
01:37:29,094 --> 01:37:32,639
in small, unmarked bills... or...
1821
01:37:32,722 --> 01:37:36,935
or... large, marked ones,
if you wanna go that route.
1822
01:37:37,018 --> 01:37:39,396
And I have a package
you might want, Mr. Lipton.
1823
01:37:39,479 --> 01:37:42,190
If you ever want to see your wife
alive again, you'll do as I say.
1824
01:37:42,274 --> 01:37:45,694
Oh, really?
Well, I think you're bluffing.
1825
01:37:45,777 --> 01:37:48,321
Yeah, d-don't ever try
and bluff a bluffer.
1826
01:37:48,405 --> 01:37:51,992
Yeah, if you've got Carol,
put her on the phone.
1827
01:37:52,075 --> 01:37:56,997
Larry, Larry, help me! I'm here, Larry.
1828
01:37:58,123 --> 01:38:02,085
Oh, my God.
D-D-Don't hurt her!
1829
01:38:02,168 --> 01:38:05,672
I'll tell you exactly where to meet me.
And you bring that package I want.
1830
01:38:05,755 --> 01:38:08,425
Once I have it and I'm safely gone,
you'll get your wife back.
1831
01:38:08,508 --> 01:38:10,760
Otherwise, I'll kill her!
1832
01:38:10,844 --> 01:38:13,930
Yes, yes. No, no, no, I... I understand.
1833
01:38:14,014 --> 01:38:15,974
Yes, no, I'll be there. I'll be there. I...
1834
01:38:16,057 --> 01:38:18,393
Yes, I'll... I'll bring
your wife's body. She...
1835
01:38:18,476 --> 01:38:22,731
In the trunk of my car.
Yes, I'll... I promise. I'll be there.
1836
01:38:22,814 --> 01:38:27,110
I don't have his wife's body.
1837
01:38:27,193 --> 01:38:29,654
Bluff. Bluff.
1838
01:38:46,713 --> 01:38:49,049
- Where's Carol?
- First show me Lillian's body.
1839
01:38:49,132 --> 01:38:49,966
I... I got it.
1840
01:38:50,050 --> 01:38:53,094
There's no way she could have
survived that vat of molten steel.
1841
01:38:53,178 --> 01:38:54,346
No. No, I... I got...
1842
01:38:54,429 --> 01:38:57,140
- If you're not bluffing, where is she?
- Why are you so nervous?
1843
01:38:57,223 --> 01:38:58,808
If I don't have her,
what are you so nervous...
1844
01:38:58,892 --> 01:38:59,726
Where is she?
1845
01:38:59,809 --> 01:39:02,187
- I got her in the trunk of my car.
- Open it. Come on, now.
1846
01:39:02,270 --> 01:39:03,104
I... I got her.
1847
01:39:03,188 --> 01:39:05,148
If she's not there, I'll put
a bullet through your head.
1848
01:39:05,231 --> 01:39:06,274
Now open it!
1849
01:39:06,358 --> 01:39:07,609
Come on. Come on.
1850
01:39:10,028 --> 01:39:12,364
- Step back.
- No, no, I got her.
1851
01:39:12,447 --> 01:39:15,241
See, if I don't have her, how come
I got her ring? I got her in there.
1852
01:39:15,325 --> 01:39:19,329
- I think you're lying.
- No, no, no, no. Uh...
1853
01:39:22,290 --> 01:39:24,668
- What is this? What is this?
- I could never bluff.
1854
01:39:24,751 --> 01:39:26,670
I... I've lost a fortune
in cards over the years.
1855
01:39:26,753 --> 01:39:29,422
- Listen to me. I'm going to put a...
- I'm not a bluffer.
1856
01:39:31,800 --> 01:39:34,427
Let go.
1857
01:39:38,848 --> 01:39:40,976
That's what
Grisby thought. But, of course,
1858
01:39:41,059 --> 01:39:44,521
she meant to kill Grisby too,
after he'd served his purpose.
1859
01:39:44,604 --> 01:39:46,147
Poor howling idiot.
1860
01:39:46,231 --> 01:39:48,900
He never even did that.
He went and shot Broome.
1861
01:39:48,984 --> 01:39:51,361
That was not part of the plan.
1862
01:39:51,444 --> 01:39:54,406
Broome might have gotten
to the police before he died.
1863
01:39:54,489 --> 01:39:57,033
And if the cops traced it to Grisby,
1864
01:39:57,117 --> 01:40:00,704
and the cops made Grisby talk,
he'd spill everything.
1865
01:40:00,787 --> 01:40:05,542
And she'd be finished.
So she had to shut up Grisby but quick.
1866
01:40:06,251 --> 01:40:10,296
And I was the fall guy.- ♪♪
1867
01:40:37,240 --> 01:40:39,784
Why don't you try to understand?
1868
01:40:41,077 --> 01:40:44,831
He was mad.
He had to be shot.
1869
01:40:44,914 --> 01:40:48,752
- And what about me?
- We could have gone off together.
1870
01:40:48,835 --> 01:40:51,546
"One who follows his nature..."
1871
01:40:51,629 --> 01:40:54,007
Help! Help!
1872
01:40:54,090 --> 01:40:56,843
They can't see us behind the screen.
1873
01:40:56,926 --> 01:40:59,262
And they can't hear us
with the sound on.
1874
01:40:59,345 --> 01:41:03,016
- Not even a gunshot.
- Hello, Paul.
1875
01:41:03,099 --> 01:41:06,227
- Didn't you expect me?
- Mrs. Dalton.
1876
01:41:06,311 --> 01:41:09,439
You made a lot of promises
to me over the years.
1877
01:41:09,522 --> 01:41:13,651
And then you decided to dump me
for that young model.
1878
01:41:13,735 --> 01:41:17,447
- I never led you on.
- It's late for excuses.
1879
01:41:17,530 --> 01:41:19,282
None of you can prove anything.
1880
01:41:19,365 --> 01:41:22,368
So you'd be foolish to fire that gun.
1881
01:41:24,287 --> 01:41:26,915
- With these mirrors, it's difficult to tell.
- Carol? Carol?
1882
01:41:26,998 --> 01:41:29,250
- You are aiming at me, aren't you?
- Carol?
1883
01:41:29,334 --> 01:41:32,754
- I'm aiming at you, lover.
- Killing you is killing myself.
1884
01:41:32,837 --> 01:41:35,757
- Of course, killing you is killing myself.
- It's the same thing.
1885
01:41:35,840 --> 01:41:39,052
But, you know, I'm
pretty tired of both of us.
1886
01:42:00,740 --> 01:42:04,119
My God!
1887
01:42:04,202 --> 01:42:05,537
Are you okay? Are you okay?
1888
01:42:05,620 --> 01:42:08,456
Oh, God, Larry. Oh, Larry,
I'm so happy to see you.
1889
01:42:08,540 --> 01:42:10,166
I was never so glad
to see somebody in my life.
1890
01:42:10,250 --> 01:42:11,126
Here, here.
1891
01:42:11,209 --> 01:42:13,461
- Are you all right?
- Get me out of this. Yes, I'm all right.
1892
01:42:13,545 --> 01:42:15,505
You don't know
what's going on out there.
1893
01:42:15,588 --> 01:42:18,007
I'll never say that life
doesn't imitate art again.
1894
01:42:18,091 --> 01:42:20,343
- I'm... I'm... Oh, Je...
- We gotta call the police, Larry.
1895
01:42:20,426 --> 01:42:23,513
- Yes, and a glazier.
- I know. Oh, God.
1896
01:42:23,596 --> 01:42:26,850
- Quick, quick. Dial, dial, dial.
- Dial. I know. Oh, Larry.
1897
01:42:26,933 --> 01:42:30,145
- Oh!
- Oh, God, Larry. Oh, God.
1898
01:42:30,228 --> 01:42:34,149
- Oh. Oh, God. Ow! Ow! God! Jesus!
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1899
01:42:34,232 --> 01:42:37,402
- Oh, wife mine. Wife mine.
- Hello? Oh, God.
1900
01:42:39,821 --> 01:42:44,159
God, it's so complicated.
I can't keep track of it all.
1901
01:42:44,242 --> 01:42:47,162
Oh, listen. I'll give it
to you one more time.
1902
01:42:49,247 --> 01:42:51,416
Mrs. House had a sister
1903
01:42:51,499 --> 01:42:53,334
who moved to England many years ago.
1904
01:42:53,418 --> 01:42:56,754
She changed her name when she married.
Her husband died.
1905
01:42:56,838 --> 01:43:00,842
She moved back to New York recently,
a very, very rich widow, but a recluse.
1906
01:43:00,925 --> 01:43:03,052
Mr. and Mrs. House knew
they weren't in her will.
1907
01:43:03,136 --> 01:43:04,429
They have her over to dinner.
1908
01:43:04,512 --> 01:43:08,308
She accidentally keels over.
I guessed right there.
1909
01:43:08,391 --> 01:43:11,477
She has a reasonable resemblance
to her sister, so they fake it,
1910
01:43:11,561 --> 01:43:13,521
pretend Lillian House died.
1911
01:43:13,605 --> 01:43:17,108
They cremate the sister,
Lillian checks into a fleabag joint...
1912
01:43:17,192 --> 01:43:19,736
and for several weeks
she pretends to be her sister,
1913
01:43:19,819 --> 01:43:24,032
closing her accounts, liquidating
her assets, accumulating big money.
1914
01:43:24,115 --> 01:43:26,201
What she didn't realize
was that her husband was...
1915
01:43:26,284 --> 01:43:28,703
two-timing her with Helen Moss,
this pretty model.
1916
01:43:28,786 --> 01:43:29,871
Yeah.
1917
01:43:29,954 --> 01:43:34,375
So he decides not to cut her in,
and go off to... I don't know,
1918
01:43:34,459 --> 01:43:38,046
with his mistress, and, uh,
keep all the dough.
1919
01:43:38,129 --> 01:43:42,258
So... he kills Lillian, he cremates her,
1920
01:43:42,342 --> 01:43:45,386
pours molten steel
all over her or something...
1921
01:43:45,470 --> 01:43:49,057
and, uh, that's when we came
along and tripped him up.
1922
01:43:49,140 --> 01:43:51,893
- He had some great alibis.
- Yeah, that woman who worked for him?
1923
01:43:51,976 --> 01:43:54,020
- Yeah, yeah.
- Mrs. Dalton? She covered for him.
1924
01:43:54,103 --> 01:43:57,482
She loved him. Not that
she dreamed he was a murderer.
1925
01:43:57,565 --> 01:43:59,901
I wanna celebrate something.
What do you wanna do?
1926
01:43:59,984 --> 01:44:03,905
You wanna... wanna see what, uh,
what Larry and Carol are up to?
1927
01:44:03,988 --> 01:44:06,241
I think they want to be alone.
1928
01:44:06,324 --> 01:44:09,244
Oh, yeah. Uh, okay. All right.
1929
01:44:09,327 --> 01:44:12,705
Uh, you have any plans?
1930
01:44:12,789 --> 01:44:15,750
- You're taking me to dinner, right?
- Yeah, right. Absolutely.
1931
01:44:15,833 --> 01:44:17,585
- Only we can't sleep together.
- Why not?
1932
01:44:17,669 --> 01:44:20,421
Not, not tonight. Well, I already
slept with Helen Moss once today,
1933
01:44:20,505 --> 01:44:22,548
and I'm not young and active
like I used to be.
1934
01:44:22,632 --> 01:44:25,260
You'll do anything to catch
a murderer, won't you?
1935
01:44:28,680 --> 01:44:31,432
- What an experience! I'm still vibrating.
- Oh, I know.
1936
01:44:31,516 --> 01:44:35,061
Oh, you know, Larry,
you were surprisingly brave.
1937
01:44:35,144 --> 01:44:37,814
What do you mean, "surprisingly"?
You seem shocked.
1938
01:44:37,897 --> 01:44:40,608
- Well, I... You know...
- I'm a pretty good guy, you know.
1939
01:44:40,692 --> 01:44:41,567
Yeah, I know.
1940
01:44:41,651 --> 01:44:43,361
So where do you want to go
for dinner tonight?
1941
01:44:43,444 --> 01:44:46,948
Let's not eat at any restaurant
where they serve cowards.
1942
01:44:47,031 --> 01:44:51,077
- What are you laughing at?
- You know, Larry, I love you. I love you.
1943
01:44:51,160 --> 01:44:54,664
How could you ever have been jealous
of Marcia? Isn't that ridiculous?
1944
01:44:54,747 --> 01:44:56,916
- What do you mean?
- Don't you know I could only love you?
1945
01:44:57,000 --> 01:44:59,961
- You were jealous of Ted. Yeah.
- Ted? You've got to be kidding.
1946
01:45:00,044 --> 01:45:03,840
Take away his elevator shoes and his
fake suntan and his capped teeth,
1947
01:45:03,923 --> 01:45:06,092
- and what do you have?
- You.
1948
01:45:06,175 --> 01:45:09,429
Right. I like that.
161128
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.