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1
00:00:33,858 --> 00:00:36,744
Lexx 2.07 Love grows
2
00:00:45,530 --> 00:00:48,502
I dream about your fragrance,
3
00:00:48,503 --> 00:00:51,474
and the splendour of your caress.
4
00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:55,290
But most of all I dream about my life
5
00:00:55,291 --> 00:00:57,829
under your dress.
6
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,914
So when will we get naked,
7
00:01:01,915 --> 00:01:04,360
and ride on the rocket of love?
8
00:01:04,361 --> 00:01:08,029
When will I taste your sweet plum pie,
9
00:01:08,030 --> 00:01:11,698
my red haired pumpy dove?
10
00:01:14,335 --> 00:01:19,174
Oh - I see the handyman's come to fix things.
11
00:01:19,175 --> 00:01:22,214
Welcome to the planet Orgasmos.
12
00:01:22,697 --> 00:01:23,517
Are you ready to work?
13
00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:24,528
He's ready.
14
00:01:24,529 --> 00:01:25,833
Are you sure he's up to it?
15
00:01:25,834 --> 00:01:28,086
Oh, he's up to it all right.
16
00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:33,338
Then come on girls - let's open his toolbox.
17
00:01:33,792 --> 00:01:35,756
Our machinery is top of the line.
18
00:01:35,757 --> 00:01:37,599
It needs constant maintenance.
19
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:38,521
Attention to detail!
Specialised parts!
20
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:42,012
In fact, I think all systems require
a complete overhaul
21
00:01:42,013 --> 00:01:45,132
Connections need tightening
Gears need changing.
22
00:01:45,133 --> 00:01:49,812
It's a dirty job, but somebody's
got to do it, and do it,
23
00:01:49,813 --> 00:01:54,491
and do it!
24
00:02:05,673 --> 00:02:07,135
What'd you do that for?
25
00:02:08,281 --> 00:02:10,845
Tell me Rexel - are all men pigs?
26
00:02:10,846 --> 00:02:12,128
Oink!
27
00:02:12,876 --> 00:02:14,736
I remind you that you are on duty,
28
00:02:14,737 --> 00:02:19,326
and your vile little films are unauthorised
use of the communications equipment.
29
00:02:19,327 --> 00:02:23,916
Try studying the standard
operating charter sometime.
30
00:02:29,001 --> 00:02:33,615
So, er - anything interesting
on the old screen there, robot?
31
00:02:34,201 --> 00:02:38,712
Not a thing - captain.
OK. Good. Good
32
00:02:45,688 --> 00:02:48,775
Captain Jebed.
33
00:02:49,229 --> 00:02:50,829
Something bothering you, Lorca?
34
00:02:51,426 --> 00:02:56,048
Only the fact that the monitor indicates that we are
illegally crossing the boundary into restricted space.
35
00:02:56,525 --> 00:03:00,207
What? I had no idea. Rexel, you're fired.
36
00:03:00,208 --> 00:03:01,435
Again?
37
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:04,335
We are towing category 13 biohazard material, captain.
38
00:03:04,336 --> 00:03:08,013
Transport rule 5 provides strict
penalties for those
39
00:03:08,014 --> 00:03:11,690
who transport category 13 material
outside approved corridors.
40
00:03:14,218 --> 00:03:16,772
Look - whatever this cargo is,
41
00:03:16,773 --> 00:03:19,326
the clients want it disposed of fast.
42
00:03:19,327 --> 00:03:21,080
They're paying extra,
43
00:03:21,081 --> 00:03:22,834
and I'm accommodating them.
44
00:03:23,212 --> 00:03:26,281
I will report this to the transport authority.
45
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,022
The transport authority?
46
00:03:29,023 --> 00:03:30,885
You mean the client.
47
00:04:17,309 --> 00:04:19,754
OK Xev - what's it gonna take?
48
00:04:20,686 --> 00:04:24,074
To get you into bed. State your
terms, come on. I'll do anything.
49
00:04:24,582 --> 00:04:26,535
Stan, you're so - forward.
50
00:04:26,987 --> 00:04:28,477
Oh no. No no. It's called desperate.
51
00:04:28,478 --> 00:04:31,113
Look, I can't help it, I'm going out
of my mind, jumping out of my skin -
52
00:04:31,114 --> 00:04:33,749
and don't tell me you aren't too.
53
00:04:34,309 --> 00:04:36,362
Oh, I am. Believe it.
54
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:38,415
So?
55
00:04:39,535 --> 00:04:40,835
So?
56
00:04:42,855 --> 00:04:44,485
No.
57
00:04:45,626 --> 00:04:49,066
Look - pretend I'm Kai, OK? I don't care.
58
00:04:50,467 --> 00:04:55,606
Xev - we've been out here forever,
I need some love!
59
00:04:56,419 --> 00:04:59,717
I know - and if I could, I would, but -
60
00:04:59,718 --> 00:05:03,016
one look at you, and I can't.
61
00:05:04,773 --> 00:05:08,043
OK, look, look, see - we don't
have to touch, OK?
62
00:05:08,044 --> 00:05:11,314
Except when we have to touch, all right?
63
00:05:11,315 --> 00:05:14,584
Oh, give me something Xev, please!
64
00:05:15,410 --> 00:05:18,111
I'm sorry Stan. I'm not getting
what I want either.
65
00:05:20,012 --> 00:05:21,612
Life is unfair.
66
00:05:25,721 --> 00:05:30,000
OK. OK.
67
00:05:43,502 --> 00:05:45,620
Ladies of the universe!
68
00:05:45,621 --> 00:05:49,857
I am Stan - your man - Tweedle.
69
00:05:50,603 --> 00:05:56,394
I am a superior example
of the male human species,
70
00:05:56,928 --> 00:06:00,304
the guy who knows how to provide -
shall we say
71
00:06:02,305 --> 00:06:05,280
the ultimate in sexual ecstasy.
72
00:06:06,109 --> 00:06:08,855
You mean simpering idiocy!
73
00:06:12,711 --> 00:06:18,563
Ladies - the word is love,
and I, am the word.
74
00:06:18,564 --> 00:06:21,381
Whisper it soft, shout it strong,
75
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:27,015
but Stanley's all night long, Stanley! Yes!
76
00:06:48,260 --> 00:06:49,588
I wanna do it.
77
00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:53,740
- Do what?
- It!
78
00:06:55,499 --> 00:06:58,082
I wanna do it, with you.
79
00:06:59,734 --> 00:07:04,081
- I suspect that you mean sex?
- Exactly.
80
00:07:06,609 --> 00:07:11,185
My sex organ has not
functioned for over 2000 years.
81
00:07:12,969 --> 00:07:15,128
My sexual organ has never functioned.
82
00:07:15,129 --> 00:07:17,887
And we both have a lot of catching up to do.
83
00:07:18,658 --> 00:07:22,830
Xev, you are clearly -
desirable, and beautiful,
84
00:07:22,831 --> 00:07:27,002
but now to me sex is just
an intellectual concept.
85
00:07:29,356 --> 00:07:31,357
I don't care if you're dead.
86
00:07:31,358 --> 00:07:34,360
I don't care if you can only
appreciate this in your mind,
87
00:07:34,361 --> 00:07:37,363
but I have a hyperactive libido
and I need you now!
88
00:07:41,145 --> 00:07:42,802
I can't do this alone.
89
00:07:44,266 --> 00:07:46,545
I can't do it at all.
90
00:07:50,295 --> 00:07:52,005
I hate you.
91
00:07:56,046 --> 00:07:58,274
I hate you!
92
00:08:02,155 --> 00:08:05,888
Respond, somebody, respond!
93
00:08:09,051 --> 00:08:14,406
I mean come on, I'm sure you've
all had far worse than me -
94
00:08:16,057 --> 00:08:19,594
probably not that hot yourselves.
95
00:08:19,595 --> 00:08:23,131
So contact me, come on, let's go!
96
00:08:24,065 --> 00:08:26,394
Lexx - keep listening for
any incoming signals,
97
00:08:26,395 --> 00:08:29,889
I want to hear anything,
98
00:08:29,890 --> 00:08:33,383
and I mean anything,
that may sound intelligent.
99
00:08:33,969 --> 00:08:35,575
So that you can try to learn
what intelligence is.
100
00:08:35,576 --> 00:08:37,984
Understand, Lexx?
101
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:40,393
Yes I do, Stan.
102
00:09:13,784 --> 00:09:18,635
Scanner now online.
All systems functioning.
103
00:09:20,151 --> 00:09:21,915
Oh no, the last of the men is dead.
104
00:09:21,916 --> 00:09:24,562
What are we gonna do?
105
00:09:24,563 --> 00:09:27,209
We must have more men.
106
00:09:28,406 --> 00:09:30,998
Lots of men.
107
00:09:30,999 --> 00:09:35,686
Hot, hard men - all the time!
108
00:09:35,687 --> 00:09:40,374
I need a man right now.
109
00:09:41,041 --> 00:09:42,872
I have encountered
an intelligent signal Stan.
110
00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:45,619
Stan...
111
00:09:45,620 --> 00:09:48,365
Stan...
112
00:09:49,084 --> 00:09:54,166
I have encountered
an intelligent signal Stan.
113
00:09:55,473 --> 00:10:00,078
Oh OK, let's hear it.
114
00:10:02,098 --> 00:10:03,930
Emergency -
115
00:10:03,931 --> 00:10:07,980
this is a distress call
from the planet Orgasmos.
116
00:10:07,981 --> 00:10:10,155
We need men to come here.
117
00:10:10,156 --> 00:10:13,429
We need men to serve our lust.
118
00:10:13,524 --> 00:10:20,142
Here are the co-ordinates for our planet -
119
00:10:21,113 --> 00:10:24,115
Labial sector, quadrant Oral,
120
00:10:24,116 --> 00:10:26,967
parallel 69 point 69.
121
00:10:26,968 --> 00:10:36,321
Plunge 90 degrees deep -
122
00:10:38,236 --> 00:10:41,162
Lexx - can you tell me what direction
that signal came from?
123
00:10:41,163 --> 00:10:44,088
Yes I can, Stan.
124
00:10:45,523 --> 00:10:48,667
Well, head straight for it. Fast!
125
00:10:48,668 --> 00:10:50,239
As you command, Stan.
126
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:51,811
Fast as you can. Faster than you can!
127
00:10:52,424 --> 00:10:55,527
Joy can be found in the little
things of life.
128
00:11:05,946 --> 00:11:07,476
Really, I love it.
129
00:11:07,477 --> 00:11:09,771
Me too, captain sir.
130
00:11:09,772 --> 00:11:12,066
Only thing better than action
is more action.
131
00:11:13,025 --> 00:11:17,972
Do the words pathetic disgusting male
lowlifes have any resonance for you?
132
00:11:18,532 --> 00:11:23,424
Lowlifes, that hurts. Pathetic and
disgusting I'm entirely comfortable with.
133
00:11:26,434 --> 00:11:29,608
Captain, I'm getting
something on the scanner -
134
00:11:29,609 --> 00:11:32,783
some kind of magnetic disturbance.
Probably an ion field.
135
00:11:33,395 --> 00:11:34,986
Visual?
136
00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:36,774
Negative, but I don't like it.
137
00:11:36,775 --> 00:11:38,561
No visual, no issue.
138
00:11:49,716 --> 00:11:51,617
There's your visual!
139
00:11:59,363 --> 00:12:01,358
We gotta blow the trailer.
140
00:12:01,359 --> 00:12:03,353
- No!
- It's gonna smash into us! Blow it!
141
00:12:03,673 --> 00:12:06,119
No, we don't deliver, we don't get paid!
142
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:08,565
Put her in reverse. We gotta get
a run at this thing.
143
00:12:18,095 --> 00:12:20,209
Hold her steady. Build up some power,
144
00:12:21,010 --> 00:12:23,367
then when I say go, put the pedal to the metal.
I'll blow the escape pod at the same time.
145
00:12:25,768 --> 00:12:28,324
That ought to give us enough
thrust to break through.
146
00:12:28,696 --> 00:12:31,269
- Crazy!
- Maybe so.
147
00:12:37,312 --> 00:12:43,417
Build up some thrust -
steady, steady. Wait, wait
148
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:48,377
Hurry!
149
00:12:48,978 --> 00:12:52,035
Vital signs are down. I'm blowing the pod
150
00:13:39,929 --> 00:13:44,578
Hull breach, engine room.
151
00:13:44,579 --> 00:13:49,228
Gas leak, cargo trailer.
152
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:55,150
Damage to main engine.
153
00:13:55,151 --> 00:14:00,556
Damage to guidance thrusters.
154
00:14:01,031 --> 00:14:02,392
Damage to air supply.
155
00:14:02,393 --> 00:14:03,754
Gas leak, cargo trailer.
156
00:14:04,606 --> 00:14:10,763
Hull breach secured.
Gas leak terminated.
157
00:14:11,563 --> 00:14:17,839
Damage to main engine.Damage to
guidance thrusters. Damage to cargo trailer.
158
00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:21,021
Hull breach, engine room.
Damage to guidance thrusters.
159
00:14:21,822 --> 00:14:23,967
Lexx! Lexx, are we any closer
to the source of that signal yet?
160
00:14:23,968 --> 00:14:26,113
I think so.
161
00:14:26,179 --> 00:14:27,706
OK. Right then, you got it straight huh?
162
00:14:27,707 --> 00:14:29,052
Now look, when we get there,
163
00:14:29,053 --> 00:14:37,487
we gotta - dive in at 90 degrees and, and
thrust through something - damp, a swamp,
164
00:14:37,859 --> 00:14:40,965
no no no, something about two moons?
165
00:14:40,966 --> 00:14:44,072
Er, oh, I can't remember!
166
00:14:45,668 --> 00:14:47,733
And I can't wait.
167
00:14:52,463 --> 00:14:53,733
Captain Jebed?
168
00:14:53,734 --> 00:14:57,545
Rexel? Are you there?
Are you all right?
169
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:04,024
Lorca - report. How's the trailer?
170
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:08,161
There's some damage,
but the trailer seems OK.
171
00:15:08,162 --> 00:15:10,836
I'm fine too, thank you for asking.
172
00:15:14,323 --> 00:15:16,251
What is this stuff?
173
00:15:17,248 --> 00:15:19,612
Some kinda leaked cargo?
174
00:15:20,782 --> 00:15:24,726
Doubt it.It's category 13 material,
I expect we'd be dead by now.
175
00:15:27,893 --> 00:15:29,958
Maybe we are.
176
00:15:32,086 --> 00:15:33,676
What the hell is that?
177
00:15:33,677 --> 00:15:36,858
I don't know, but it looks like a really
big bug and it's coming straight for us.
178
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,795
Hey, what's up with you?
179
00:15:51,796 --> 00:15:52,937
You know Xev -
180
00:15:52,938 --> 00:15:58,049
some guys like fleshy women, and
other guys like 'em small and thin
181
00:15:58,050 --> 00:16:02,160
for that wraparound effect.
182
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,649
See, the smart shopper should look
183
00:16:05,650 --> 00:16:07,664
for what is most satisfying each day.
184
00:16:07,665 --> 00:16:09,679
Now see, as a man of many and varied tastes,
185
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:13,709
well, that's gonna be my approach.
186
00:16:14,052 --> 00:16:17,075
I think you've finally lost your mind.
187
00:16:22,553 --> 00:16:24,245
Veer left.
188
00:16:24,246 --> 00:16:26,784
Veering with us!
189
00:16:26,785 --> 00:16:29,322
Right, right!
190
00:16:33,754 --> 00:16:35,299
Still on us. I can't shake it!
It's not working!
191
00:16:42,796 --> 00:16:45,324
Look out! Look out!
192
00:16:53,777 --> 00:16:57,072
What was that, Lexx?
193
00:16:57,073 --> 00:17:00,367
I adjusted my course slightly
to consume a snack.
194
00:17:05,875 --> 00:17:07,375
Abandon ship!
195
00:17:12,267 --> 00:17:14,414
The hatch is jammed!
196
00:17:16,862 --> 00:17:19,371
So Lexx - how're we doing?
197
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,881
The snack was not very tasty.
198
00:17:22,576 --> 00:17:24,944
Oh well, too bad Lexx. Look - did you
find the source of that signal yet?
199
00:17:24,945 --> 00:17:27,113
We've got to find that planet!
200
00:17:28,737 --> 00:17:30,018
What planet?
201
00:17:30,019 --> 00:17:31,779
One that I found.
202
00:17:31,780 --> 00:17:36,221
I'm going there, and I'm gonna
have an extremely good time.
203
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:39,962
We can find a necrophilia planet for you,
drop you off. Drop you on the floor!
204
00:17:42,978 --> 00:17:47,655
The signal is no longer
being transmitted, Stan.
205
00:17:48,213 --> 00:17:52,491
Well - well, you gotta relocate it.
206
00:17:52,759 --> 00:17:57,000
Orgasmos, this is Stanley Tweedle.
Verify your location.
207
00:17:57,587 --> 00:18:00,135
I'm a functioning man,
I've got what you need!
208
00:18:00,136 --> 00:18:02,684
Come in!
209
00:18:12,773 --> 00:18:16,232
Come on, come on, let's go!
210
00:19:10,664 --> 00:19:14,847
So, er, have I got this right -
we're inside a bug kinda thing?
211
00:19:14,848 --> 00:19:17,439
Yeah, you got that right -
212
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,831
and that's where we're
gonna get out - up there.
213
00:19:24,708 --> 00:19:25,817
Congratulations.
214
00:19:25,818 --> 00:19:27,982
You succeeded in getting us killed.
215
00:19:27,983 --> 00:19:30,147
Not yet.
216
00:19:41,466 --> 00:19:43,118
That's never happened before.
217
00:19:44,719 --> 00:19:46,875
OK. Come on, let's go!
218
00:20:41,623 --> 00:20:43,769
Go!
219
00:20:49,112 --> 00:20:50,489
What was that noise?
220
00:20:50,490 --> 00:20:53,245
I feel an upset in my digestive system.
221
00:20:53,859 --> 00:20:57,107
Oh, well, really sorry to hear that Lexx, but right now we've got more important problems to contend with,
222
00:20:57,108 --> 00:20:59,273
like that planet Orgasmos signal
223
00:20:59,274 --> 00:21:03,605
and how you lost it, and how the hack
we're gonna get it back.
224
00:21:07,226 --> 00:21:09,757
Hang on!
225
00:21:16,374 --> 00:21:17,551
Rexel, get your knife.
226
00:21:19,430 --> 00:21:21,107
Start cutting
227
00:21:32,939 --> 00:21:34,212
Hurry!
228
00:21:41,827 --> 00:21:46,379
Lorca, go! Go on, go!
229
00:21:54,393 --> 00:21:57,768
Move, come on, move!
230
00:22:02,392 --> 00:22:04,299
What are you doing now?
231
00:22:04,300 --> 00:22:08,114
Expelling the toxins that were
irritating my digestive system, Stan.
232
00:22:08,808 --> 00:22:12,983
Oh, that's nice Lexx, but can we get
some focus back now? Orgasmos, Lexx.
233
00:22:12,984 --> 00:22:15,071
Orgasmos, Orgasmos, Orgasmos!
234
00:22:22,873 --> 00:22:25,951
We're never gonna get
through this, it's hopeless
235
00:22:53,145 --> 00:22:55,053
Hello?
236
00:22:55,834 --> 00:22:57,360
Orgasmos.
237
00:23:03,961 --> 00:23:05,986
Orgasmos?
238
00:23:12,653 --> 00:23:14,186
Stan?
239
00:23:14,187 --> 00:23:16,403
What?
240
00:23:16,404 --> 00:23:18,619
I'm ready.
241
00:23:20,403 --> 00:23:23,304
Xev! What are you saying?!
242
00:23:23,305 --> 00:23:26,206
790, off!
243
00:23:28,443 --> 00:23:30,640
Look - I can't hold out any longer.
244
00:23:30,641 --> 00:23:32,837
Take me before I change my mind.
245
00:23:35,126 --> 00:23:36,792
Don't toy with me Xev.
246
00:23:36,793 --> 00:23:39,458
I can't take it.
247
00:23:47,046 --> 00:23:51,334
Can you take this?
248
00:23:54,896 --> 00:23:55,928
Er - yeah.
249
00:23:55,929 --> 00:24:04,845
Yeah. Oh, Xev - we're gonna rock
the heavens. You won't regret this.
250
00:24:04,846 --> 00:24:08,361
I already do. Now shut up and kiss me.
251
00:24:30,540 --> 00:24:34,284
Oh, more more more more.
Stop.
252
00:24:34,512 --> 00:24:38,163
Ma'am - any chance of me
getting some of that?
253
00:24:52,143 --> 00:24:56,244
Shower works pretty good.
You just give the ball a squeeze
254
00:24:59,245 --> 00:25:01,846
and that thing - squirts on you.
255
00:25:03,047 --> 00:25:04,447
Thank you.
256
00:25:06,073 --> 00:25:11,534
Say, er - did you guys, when you were on
your ship like, you know, before Lexx ate it -
257
00:25:11,535 --> 00:25:14,465
did you happen to pick up a signal
from a planet called Orgasmos?
258
00:25:14,466 --> 00:25:16,995
Not to my knowledge.
259
00:25:18,355 --> 00:25:20,171
Orgasmos?
260
00:25:20,835 --> 00:25:22,558
It's really called that?
261
00:25:22,559 --> 00:25:25,082
Yeah, yeah, Orgasmos, yeah.
Yeah, I'm sure, very sure.
262
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:29,812
No. I'm sorry.
263
00:25:29,813 --> 00:25:34,064
OK. Well, I - get yourself cleaned up.
264
00:25:34,571 --> 00:25:36,978
It's OK. I'm comfortable with my body.
265
00:25:36,979 --> 00:25:39,386
OK, yeah, sure.
266
00:25:47,213 --> 00:25:49,941
Your ordeal must have left
you gentlemen very - hungry.
267
00:25:50,585 --> 00:25:53,025
Starved, ma'am.
Ravenous. Mmm - delectable
268
00:25:58,303 --> 00:26:02,216
Delightful. Aren't you having any ma'am?
269
00:26:03,175 --> 00:26:07,643
Oh, not quite yet.
Once I start, I can't - stop.
270
00:26:17,893 --> 00:26:19,130
Don't I get any?
271
00:26:19,131 --> 00:26:22,842
Serve yourself, Stan. It's our guests
who require - hospitality.
272
00:26:30,561 --> 00:26:35,321
So, we lost our ship, we lost our cargo
and we almost lost our lives -
273
00:26:35,322 --> 00:26:40,082
all because our captain can't play by the rules.
274
00:26:40,535 --> 00:26:45,510
Yeah, well I don't like rules,
but - I like to play.
275
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:49,383
What was your cargo?
276
00:26:49,384 --> 00:26:54,206
The worst kind. Probably
experimental gene drugs gone wrong.
277
00:26:55,457 --> 00:26:57,085
What drugs exactly?
278
00:26:57,086 --> 00:27:01,972
They don't say. Category 13
is all you have to know.
279
00:27:03,118 --> 00:27:04,696
I just hope they don't damage your vessel.
280
00:27:04,697 --> 00:27:08,874
The Lexx can digest just about anything.
281
00:27:12,085 --> 00:27:13,405
Aren't you eating, mister?
282
00:27:13,406 --> 00:27:14,725
No.
283
00:27:16,457 --> 00:27:19,203
The dead don't eat.
284
00:27:22,619 --> 00:27:28,955
So - how did you guys miss that signal, that
distress signal from the planet Orgasmos?
285
00:27:32,647 --> 00:27:34,701
What's so funny?
286
00:27:36,651 --> 00:27:38,621
It's a film, mister.
287
00:27:38,622 --> 00:27:40,299
It's Bring Me To Hot Orgasmos, part 4.
288
00:27:40,300 --> 00:27:46,931
Like a girlie video thing, it was playing
on the Stripper before your ship ate us.
289
00:27:47,729 --> 00:27:49,713
A video?
290
00:28:04,306 --> 00:28:06,393
Well, it's, er - it's hot in here.
291
00:28:06,394 --> 00:28:11,937
Yes. Sometimes it gets very - humid, too.
292
00:28:11,938 --> 00:28:13,781
Sticky heat.
293
00:28:16,039 --> 00:28:20,903
Very sticky. Moist.
294
00:28:24,944 --> 00:28:26,739
Big ship.
295
00:28:28,810 --> 00:28:30,957
Yes. Big.
296
00:28:31,596 --> 00:28:37,386
Huge. Big, and very - long.
297
00:28:41,433 --> 00:28:43,513
Are you ready for some more?
298
00:28:43,514 --> 00:28:47,794
Oh, I'm - I'm ready.
299
00:28:53,067 --> 00:28:57,700
Just a second.
300
00:28:57,831 --> 00:29:00,361
I like to lick it.
301
00:29:15,406 --> 00:29:16,901
I'm feeling sick..
302
00:29:18,802 --> 00:29:20,496
I think I'll retire.
303
00:29:27,508 --> 00:29:30,391
Stanley, I think you should be on the bridge.
304
00:29:32,970 --> 00:29:33,785
Why?
305
00:29:33,786 --> 00:29:35,493
Because you have to fly the Lexx.
306
00:29:35,494 --> 00:29:37,800
The Lexx can fly itself.
307
00:29:38,866 --> 00:29:43,503
Gentlemen - would you please
assist Stan with his responsibilities?
308
00:29:45,873 --> 00:29:47,419
Yes ma'am.
309
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:56,212
You know, she used to be ugly.
She was a cow!
310
00:29:56,213 --> 00:30:00,257
She got transformed into a
love slave - only it didn't work.
311
00:30:00,258 --> 00:30:02,729
Not at all!
312
00:30:06,989 --> 00:30:08,456
I'm so sleepy.
313
00:30:08,757 --> 00:30:10,908
I think I may have to go and
lay down in my bed.
314
00:30:10,909 --> 00:30:12,859
Will you boys be OK?
315
00:30:13,500 --> 00:30:15,592
Yeah.
Yeah.
316
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,101
We have a problem with cockroaches here.
317
00:30:20,102 --> 00:30:21,829
Cockroaches make me crazy.
318
00:30:21,829 --> 00:30:27,006
Could one of you come with me
and check the mattress?
319
00:30:27,618 --> 00:30:29,165
Captains first!
320
00:30:31,930 --> 00:30:35,964
Navigators second
321
00:30:38,145 --> 00:30:40,294
Cockroaches are a constant problem.
322
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:00,744
I'm programmed for pleasure.
323
00:31:00,745 --> 00:31:05,214
I want it.
324
00:31:05,428 --> 00:31:07,114
I need it - but I've never
actually made love before.
325
00:31:07,115 --> 00:31:11,400
I'm not even exactly sure what it is.
326
00:31:11,746 --> 00:31:14,642
Will you - teach me?
327
00:31:16,715 --> 00:31:20,747
Higher education is my speciality.
328
00:31:22,318 --> 00:31:24,142
Now, just relax.
329
00:31:25,143 --> 00:31:39,967
That's it, oh yeah, just relax.
330
00:31:45,531 --> 00:31:48,682
Lousy video! Paradise libida,
331
00:31:48,683 --> 00:31:51,234
no Orgasmos at all - Oh!
332
00:31:55,625 --> 00:31:58,051
Sorry to startle you, captain.
333
00:32:00,253 --> 00:32:02,430
Oh, no problem.
334
00:32:03,104 --> 00:32:07,942
I see you've had enough of those
adolescent slobbering swine too.
335
00:32:08,423 --> 00:32:12,647
Yeah. I mean, no - I gotta go make my rounds.
336
00:32:12,927 --> 00:32:14,214
I saw the way they treated you.
337
00:32:14,215 --> 00:32:16,546
And that woman -
338
00:32:16,547 --> 00:32:19,478
obviously she didn't want
anything to do with you.
339
00:32:19,997 --> 00:32:21,073
Who, Xev?
340
00:32:21,074 --> 00:32:27,787
No, throws herself at me all the time.
341
00:32:28,088 --> 00:32:33,101
But I , I choose to keep
things professional, yeah.
342
00:32:34,674 --> 00:32:39,526
Anyway, I really gotta go make my rounds.
343
00:32:42,382 --> 00:32:44,037
It's been a while, hasn't it Stanley?
344
00:32:44,038 --> 00:32:45,693
A while what?
345
00:32:45,994 --> 00:32:47,314
You and I are in the same boat.
346
00:32:47,315 --> 00:32:49,896
We both deserve much more than we get.
347
00:32:49,897 --> 00:32:52,477
Well, yeah, that's true but -
348
00:32:52,929 --> 00:32:57,838
So - what do you say we change that equation?
349
00:33:02,861 --> 00:33:04,282
Are you all right?
350
00:33:04,283 --> 00:33:06,904
I think I must be over excited.
351
00:33:07,622 --> 00:33:10,241
Well, don't be afraid of your emotions.
Nurture them.
352
00:33:10,242 --> 00:33:12,860
Let them be your heart's guide.
353
00:33:29,242 --> 00:33:30,613
I know I'm not pretty.
354
00:33:30,614 --> 00:33:33,667
You're not exactly the catch
of the day yourself.
355
00:33:33,668 --> 00:33:37,021
But beyond the physical - that's
where things get really interesting
356
00:33:37,022 --> 00:33:39,528
Well yeah, I know that, but -
357
00:33:39,634 --> 00:33:42,212
Stan? Trust me.
358
00:33:42,213 --> 00:33:45,791
Together we can unleash the dog.
359
00:33:46,614 --> 00:33:47,253
The dog?
360
00:33:47,254 --> 00:33:52,093
The dog of lust. The one that howls inside.
361
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:59,774
Take me like a man, Stan.
I know you want to!
362
00:34:03,610 --> 00:34:08,201
Everything. Show me everything
Oh, I will. Yeah.
363
00:34:08,573 --> 00:34:10,895
Then I'll show you more.
364
00:34:14,857 --> 00:34:18,260
That's good. Oh, that's good.
365
00:34:18,899 --> 00:34:22,605
I like it too - a lot.
366
00:34:25,716 --> 00:34:30,240
You are so beautiful. You are
just absolutely gorgeous.
367
00:34:31,542 --> 00:34:34,235
And you are wearing too many clothes.
368
00:35:15,487 --> 00:35:16,565
Stanley, are you sick?
369
00:35:16,566 --> 00:35:20,244
No, no no no no, I'm OK.
370
00:35:20,724 --> 00:35:23,467
You're overwhelmed, aren't you?
I understand.
371
00:35:23,468 --> 00:35:26,311
I didn't mean to be rude or anything -
you shouldn't be rude either
372
00:35:26,315 --> 00:35:28,385
Here, let me give you a cuddle,
a cuddle will make you feel much better!
373
00:35:28,686 --> 00:35:35,295
Oh yes, a hug, that'd be so nice.
374
00:35:38,831 --> 00:35:42,212
Stanley, you tease. I'll give you
a lot more than a hug.
375
00:35:42,213 --> 00:35:44,384
No, I didn't mean that.
376
00:35:44,385 --> 00:35:47,956
Yes you did. Come here! Stanley!
377
00:36:06,083 --> 00:36:07,656
Stan.
378
00:36:16,933 --> 00:36:19,872
Some days are good days indeed.
379
00:36:56,976 --> 00:37:01,009
I'm a girl. I'm a girl!
Don't just stand there, help me!
380
00:37:02,551 --> 00:37:06,153
Look - I want outta here right now.
What was that crap we were towing?
381
00:37:06,363 --> 00:37:08,914
What the hell is it doing to us?
382
00:37:08,915 --> 00:37:12,665
I'll tell you what it's doing to me.
It's turned me into - a woman!
383
00:37:13,706 --> 00:37:16,621
I don't know how I got it,
but I intend to use it!
384
00:37:16,622 --> 00:37:17,936
Oh no.
385
00:37:18,035 --> 00:37:19,056
What's happening?
386
00:37:19,257 --> 00:37:22,878
Well, for a start, Xev's
gonna get herself some ass.
387
00:37:24,762 --> 00:37:26,125
I can't. I'm traumatised.
388
00:37:26,126 --> 00:37:27,207
Me too!
389
00:37:27,308 --> 00:37:29,688
Wait until you see the trauma I'm packing.
390
00:37:32,699 --> 00:37:36,378
Come on, sweet cheeks - drop 'em.
391
00:37:38,230 --> 00:37:41,964
Your energy is too aggressive.
You just wanna use us and throw us away.
392
00:37:44,919 --> 00:37:49,081
Yeah, maybe so - but I'll use you good.
393
00:37:56,094 --> 00:37:58,934
Oh, Xev - darling - sir!
394
00:37:58,935 --> 00:38:01,681
I don't care if you've become
a man on the outside.
395
00:38:01,682 --> 00:38:04,428
It's the inner man I love -
396
00:38:04,429 --> 00:38:07,174
or woman - whatever!
397
00:38:07,547 --> 00:38:11,466
Thanks, robot. I wish you had
the equipment, I really do.
398
00:38:12,249 --> 00:38:14,366
I don't know if it's the man in me,
399
00:38:14,367 --> 00:38:15,954
or the lizard in me,
400
00:38:15,955 --> 00:38:20,717
but suddenly I've become a lot less picky -
up to a point.
401
00:38:23,940 --> 00:38:27,043
Hey, don't start without me girls!
402
00:38:29,517 --> 00:38:32,799
They clearly introduced some
kind of infection on board.
403
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:35,982
It appears that everyone has
had their sex organs reversed.
404
00:38:51,109 --> 00:38:54,112
It is a man made virus, designed
to transport simple genetic codes
405
00:38:54,113 --> 00:38:57,116
to reverse the sex of those who were given it.
406
00:38:57,914 --> 00:39:00,543
But this virus has several
incorrect protein sequences
407
00:39:00,544 --> 00:39:03,173
that will cause progressive dementia,
408
00:39:03,707 --> 00:39:07,078
and lead to total cellular failure,
killing any organism infected with it.
409
00:39:07,955 --> 00:39:09,133
Within how long?
410
00:39:09,134 --> 00:39:12,512
Approximately 60 hours.
411
00:39:16,930 --> 00:39:20,526
I would assume that is why
it became category 13.
412
00:39:33,417 --> 00:39:36,820
Stanley - come on out here!
413
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:41,690
Something in my pants wants to meet you.
414
00:39:44,217 --> 00:39:45,396
I'm a girl!
415
00:39:45,397 --> 00:39:46,676
It's OK, Stan.
416
00:39:48,149 --> 00:39:53,223
No no no no, really.
I've got - girl parts!
417
00:39:53,750 --> 00:39:56,020
Oh, happy day!
418
00:39:57,958 --> 00:39:59,094
Can you do anything to stop it?
419
00:40:01,211 --> 00:40:04,296
By random gene splicing certain viral types,
420
00:40:04,297 --> 00:40:07,382
I can continuously produce examples
421
00:40:07,383 --> 00:40:10,467
until one is discovered to be a counter
virus that would act as an antidote.
422
00:40:10,816 --> 00:40:12,481
How long will that take?
423
00:40:12,482 --> 00:40:17,346
With the facilities onboard -
about 7 to 12 years.
424
00:40:19,130 --> 00:40:21,031
Then you should start now.
425
00:40:22,786 --> 00:40:25,781
- Lexx?
- Yes? Hello?
426
00:40:26,754 --> 00:40:28,204
What happened to your voice?
427
00:40:28,205 --> 00:40:29,729
I do not know.
428
00:40:29,730 --> 00:40:32,454
Do you mind if I ask you something?
429
00:40:33,172 --> 00:40:34,444
Go ahead.
430
00:40:35,057 --> 00:40:37,104
No. I - I can't.
431
00:40:37,105 --> 00:40:39,152
Please, ask.
432
00:40:39,900 --> 00:40:46,172
Do you find me - I mean,
am - am I - attractive?
433
00:40:47,262 --> 00:40:48,992
You are beautiful.
434
00:40:48,993 --> 00:40:50,723
Thank you.
435
00:40:56,290 --> 00:40:57,901
I'm gonna be sick.
436
00:40:57,902 --> 00:40:59,513
Buck up, little buckaroo.
437
00:41:00,071 --> 00:41:02,000
No - it's wrong.
438
00:41:04,022 --> 00:41:05,829
Yes - it's right.
439
00:41:05,830 --> 00:41:10,641
No, please, please don't do that,
I - don't feel well!
440
00:41:10,642 --> 00:41:14,253
You feel terrific.
441
00:41:16,982 --> 00:41:19,790
You know actually, you don't
feel too bad yourself.
442
00:41:19,791 --> 00:41:26,404
Strong, sweaty oh, forgive me,
forgive me, forgive me, forgive me!
443
00:41:26,405 --> 00:41:31,017
oh just - take me!
444
00:41:32,163 --> 00:41:33,479
I intend to.
445
00:41:34,664 --> 00:41:36,876
You're mine, Stanley Tweedle.
446
00:41:36,877 --> 00:41:38,088
I'm yours?
447
00:41:41,101 --> 00:41:42,196
Well?
448
00:41:42,197 --> 00:41:43,244
Well, what?
449
00:41:43,445 --> 00:41:44,624
You ready?
450
00:41:44,624 --> 00:41:45,699
No.
451
00:41:45,700 --> 00:41:49,137
Well I am, and that's what counts
in this relationship.
452
00:41:49,138 --> 00:41:50,174
But -
453
00:41:50,544 --> 00:41:53,841
You've always wanted me - now you've got me.
454
00:41:54,642 --> 00:41:56,139
What's the difference?
455
00:41:57,013 --> 00:41:59,668
Well, it's just that this
is not quite how I expected it.
456
00:41:59,669 --> 00:42:04,723
Yeah, I understand - me neither.
457
00:42:06,836 --> 00:42:13,776
But this way or that way -
you're on the bottom, Mrs Tweedle.
458
00:42:15,019 --> 00:42:21,390
Come on baby. Oh, gently.
Who's your daddy? Oh, who's your daddy?!
459
00:42:24,791 --> 00:42:28,161
OK Xev, thanks OK, but - no, I gotta go.
460
00:42:28,219 --> 00:42:30,486
Don't leave, make me something to eat first.
461
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:39,543
The er - the virus that changed your sex
will also kill you, within 60 hours.
462
00:42:40,769 --> 00:42:42,535
That's not good.
463
00:42:47,033 --> 00:42:50,795
Tweedle, you slut! What have you done?!
464
00:42:50,796 --> 00:42:54,558
The development of an antidote to your
condition will take many years to develop.
465
00:42:55,838 --> 00:42:58,385
In the interim we must put
both of you into cryostasis.
466
00:42:58,386 --> 00:43:05,333
Correction - Xev must enter cryostasis.Stan
must be killed and his corpse INCINERATED!
467
00:43:07,010 --> 00:43:10,719
I like being a man -
but I 'd rather be a live one.
468
00:43:13,209 --> 00:43:14,998
What was that?
469
00:43:29,832 --> 00:43:31,651
Running away, ladies?
470
00:43:33,431 --> 00:43:38,729
Oh, Oh Lorca. It's horrible.
What are we gonna do?
471
00:43:39,478 --> 00:43:43,437
You're gonna lie down and spread 'em -
and I'm gonna jump on and ride 'em.
472
00:43:44,158 --> 00:43:47,046
You pig!
Oink!
473
00:43:58,973 --> 00:44:02,377
I'm a man.
474
00:44:06,497 --> 00:44:08,510
And I'm not.
475
00:44:11,645 --> 00:44:13,547
What happened? Lexx, what happened?
476
00:44:13,887 --> 00:44:16,813
I did not feel good. Now, I feel better.
477
00:44:16,814 --> 00:44:20,740
An antidote, developed
by Lexx's immune system.
478
00:44:21,380 --> 00:44:24,938
Oh Lexx, you are one remarkable bug!
479
00:44:24,939 --> 00:44:26,817
I love you too, Stan.
480
00:44:26,818 --> 00:44:30,096
Yeah.
481
00:44:32,573 --> 00:44:35,928
All right. Yeah, it's back. It's back!
482
00:44:37,129 --> 00:44:38,306
Mine too, mine too!
483
00:44:38,307 --> 00:44:41,584
Well, I'm - glad that bit of fun's over.
484
00:44:45,278 --> 00:44:50,491
Darlins - the funnins just begunnin.
485
00:44:50,492 --> 00:44:55,504
What the hell?
486
00:45:01,254 --> 00:45:05,544
I am still unable to locate
the Stripper crew, Stan.
487
00:45:05,545 --> 00:45:07,534
Well, keep looking.
488
00:45:08,566 --> 00:45:12,087
So, that's it? I'm no longer a virgin?
489
00:45:13,207 --> 00:45:15,389
In a certain sense, that is correct.
490
00:45:15,390 --> 00:45:20,363
But you have experienced -
a temporary, anomalous - condition,
491
00:45:20,364 --> 00:45:25,337
in which the normal state of your
genitalia remained intact,
492
00:45:25,356 --> 00:45:31,533
so, yes, technically you are still a virgin.
493
00:45:32,532 --> 00:45:34,210
Well, that's some comfort.
494
00:45:34,211 --> 00:45:38,488
Stan, isn't.
495
00:45:47,925 --> 00:45:51,056
Emergency, emergency - this is
the planet Pornos calling for men.
496
00:45:51,057 --> 00:45:54,320
We must have men. We want to lavish
our sultry bodies upon you,
497
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:58,381
revelling in the forbidden
pleasures of the flesh.
498
00:45:58,382 --> 00:46:01,642
Respond, please respond!
499
00:46:07,713 --> 00:46:11,993
Oh, no. No no no.
500
00:46:23,499 --> 00:46:25,020
Vessel - our situation is desperate.
501
00:46:25,021 --> 00:46:27,927
We live for love, and
all of its carnal delights,
502
00:46:27,928 --> 00:46:30,834
but without men we're doomed.
503
00:46:30,835 --> 00:46:33,741
Vessel respond, please respond!
504
00:46:37,468 --> 00:46:39,447
We need men -
505
00:46:39,448 --> 00:46:44,016
old men, fat men, ugly men -
any kind of men!
506
00:46:44,017 --> 00:46:48,585
Save us, please save us!
507
00:46:51,011 --> 00:46:55,671
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