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1
00:00:40,952 --> 00:00:45,587
Resync: Xenzai[NEF]
2
00:01:04,205 --> 00:01:06,914
Lexx 2.05 Lafftrak
3
00:01:16,175 --> 00:01:18,729
You're about to be cancelled,
Leebarian - permanently!
4
00:01:28,070 --> 00:01:33,664
Nine years ago you faked the ratings
on your precious poetry channel.
5
00:01:33,665 --> 00:01:39,256
Because you're culture-less bastards!
6
00:02:19,275 --> 00:02:24,841
How appropriate the last living
Leebarian is going to die on TV World.
7
00:02:58,005 --> 00:02:59,091
Your crap shows never rated,
8
00:02:59,592 --> 00:03:03,978
your crap planet is destroyed,
and now your crap life is about to end!
9
00:04:04,001 --> 00:04:06,677
You Leesterians always faked your ratings!
10
00:04:06,678 --> 00:04:09,157
You started this war,
11
00:04:09,157 --> 00:04:14,711
and now, the last living Leesterian
will pay the final price.
12
00:04:23,777 --> 00:04:26,818
We did not have to fake our ratings,
13
00:04:26,819 --> 00:04:29,859
because we were not dull, dull, dull!
14
00:04:31,932 --> 00:04:34,996
A commercial on Leeber was
far more entertaining
15
00:04:34,997 --> 00:04:38,062
than an entire network
on the planet Leester!
16
00:04:59,038 --> 00:05:02,287
Was it worth faking your ratings?
17
00:05:02,288 --> 00:05:07,163
Was it worth causing a war
that destroyed two planets?
18
00:05:07,164 --> 00:05:12,037
I wanna hear it from your mouth,
that it was worth it, before you die!
19
00:05:21,012 --> 00:05:23,347
You're the ones who faked the ratings -
20
00:05:27,804 --> 00:05:30,747
culture-less Leebarian vermin!
21
00:05:37,309 --> 00:05:42,796
Apology accepted.
22
00:05:46,487 --> 00:05:51,062
I die, in peace.
23
00:05:56,242 --> 00:05:58,070
Let it be known for all time
24
00:05:58,071 --> 00:06:00,000
that there were once two planets
in this system.
25
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:03,056
The planet Leester made great
television shows.
26
00:06:03,057 --> 00:06:06,113
The planet Leeber made crap.
27
00:06:06,852 --> 00:06:09,729
They had to fake the ratings.
28
00:06:09,730 --> 00:06:12,606
They had to fake the ratings.
29
00:06:15,687 --> 00:06:17,563
Let it be known for all time
30
00:06:17,564 --> 00:06:20,076
that there were once two planets
in this system.
31
00:06:20,077 --> 00:06:22,633
The planet Leester made great
television shows.
32
00:06:22,634 --> 00:06:25,191
The planet Leeber made crap.
33
00:06:27,531 --> 00:06:30,349
They had to fake the ratings.
34
00:06:30,350 --> 00:06:33,168
They had to fake the ratings.
35
00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:41,563
Let it be known for all
36
00:06:41,564 --> 00:06:43,595
time that there were once two planets
in this system.
37
00:06:44,396 --> 00:06:46,410
The planet Leester made great
television shows.
38
00:06:48,111 --> 00:06:50,526
The planet Leeber made crap...
39
00:06:50,624 --> 00:06:54,187
They had to fake the ratings...
40
00:07:26,342 --> 00:07:27,126
They had to fake the ratings...
41
00:07:29,134 --> 00:07:30,920
They had to fake the ratings...
42
00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:36,105
They had to fake the ratings.
43
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:40,082
790?
44
00:07:40,083 --> 00:07:43,131
I don't know, dream cake.
It could be a weak nearby signal
45
00:07:53,695 --> 00:07:55,430
Their planet made crap...
46
00:07:55,961 --> 00:07:59,738
Why not try me, Slinka -
And me, Yoyo -
47
00:07:59,739 --> 00:08:01,627
Are you looking for some fun?
48
00:08:01,628 --> 00:08:03,517
Can't we just blow it up?
49
00:08:18,870 --> 00:08:22,092
This is all just such a bad idea.
50
00:08:24,110 --> 00:08:26,752
I vote against landing, who's with me?
51
00:08:27,385 --> 00:08:30,155
I vote we land.
People have clearly been here.
52
00:08:30,156 --> 00:08:32,925
Well, where are they now?
53
00:08:36,654 --> 00:08:38,735
790, this is probably a bad place for Xev.
54
00:08:38,736 --> 00:08:41,857
I am forced to agree with the decaying
sack of carbon, dearest.
55
00:08:41,858 --> 00:08:44,980
I vote we return to the Lexx.
56
00:08:46,470 --> 00:08:49,435
Stan - what have you got to lose?
57
00:08:50,204 --> 00:08:52,025
My life!
58
00:08:52,026 --> 00:08:53,846
I change my vote! I say we land.
59
00:08:54,329 --> 00:08:57,263
Two against one, Stan.
60
00:09:35,797 --> 00:09:40,565
Coming?
61
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,777
Well, checked it out - no-one here.
62
00:10:27,781 --> 00:10:31,429
Welcome to TV World!
Are you looking for some fun?
63
00:10:31,963 --> 00:10:35,594
Hi, I'm CG, vice president
of programming on TV World.
64
00:10:35,595 --> 00:10:37,612
Are you ready to play?
65
00:10:37,613 --> 00:10:41,620
Of course, sitting at home on Leester
or Leeber - beautiful planets, both -
66
00:10:41,621 --> 00:10:47,128
you've wondered what it would be like to be that
special character you've always wanted to play,
67
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:51,923
otherwise you would not have paid the
affordable fee to be here on TV World.
68
00:10:51,924 --> 00:10:56,666
Well now, here you are -
so live out your fantasy!
69
00:10:57,993 --> 00:11:00,078
What is it, 790?
70
00:11:00,079 --> 00:11:04,248
A clearly insincere promotion inviting us
to participate in some sort of role playing game.
71
00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:09,408
I calculate it was intended to provide amusement
for inhabitants of planets that are now destroyed.
72
00:11:10,632 --> 00:11:13,496
A big part of the fun is in choosing
just the right show for you.
73
00:11:13,497 --> 00:11:17,794
And the more fun you have on that show,
the better your ratings.
74
00:11:17,795 --> 00:11:22,090
And the better your ratings, the more fun
it is for you - and all of us.
75
00:11:23,029 --> 00:11:25,698
Hey - why not?
76
00:11:26,195 --> 00:11:27,876
Some players may fail to have high ratings
77
00:11:27,877 --> 00:11:29,458
and will become permanent members
of our studio audience.
78
00:11:30,746 --> 00:11:31,929
Wait!
79
00:11:31,930 --> 00:11:34,822
Excuse me, do you have any idea
what you're doing?
80
00:11:34,823 --> 00:11:37,013
You don't know what's behind that door!
81
00:11:37,704 --> 00:11:40,240
Yes I do - fun! Just like he said.
82
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,778
Without you, stunned one.
83
00:11:44,251 --> 00:11:46,882
But what if it's a trap?!
84
00:11:47,608 --> 00:11:49,866
Stan - I grew up in a box.
85
00:11:49,867 --> 00:11:54,384
I've got a lot of experiences to make up.
86
00:11:57,454 --> 00:11:59,182
You have chosen - Boy School!
87
00:11:59,182 --> 00:12:00,308
Name, please.
88
00:12:00,309 --> 00:12:03,834
Xev. Xev of B3K.
And 790.
89
00:12:04,803 --> 00:12:09,136
We are sorry - only one role is
available to be cast in each show.
90
00:12:09,648 --> 00:12:13,531
But I'm not a person. I am 790 -
reduced by circumstance to a mere head,
91
00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:17,416
but enlarged with love
to worship my darling Xev.
92
00:12:18,083 --> 00:12:20,207
We are sorry - only one role is available
93
00:12:20,208 --> 00:12:22,331
to be cast in each show.
94
00:12:22,332 --> 00:12:26,582
You must wait until this episode is
finished, and then you too can play!
95
00:12:29,547 --> 00:12:30,765
Here.
96
00:12:31,028 --> 00:12:32,631
Don't leave me here with him!
97
00:12:32,632 --> 00:12:35,037
You keep each other company for a while.
98
00:12:35,038 --> 00:12:37,443
Stir fry my circuits instead!
99
00:12:45,677 --> 00:12:47,685
Tweedle! Enrol me in Boy School immediately.
100
00:12:47,686 --> 00:12:50,699
They said there was only one role
on each show.
101
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:53,712
Do it, bentobrain!
102
00:12:55,367 --> 00:13:00,581
We are sorry - only one role is available
to be cast in each show.
103
00:13:00,582 --> 00:13:05,796
You must wait until this episode is
finished, and then you too can play!
104
00:13:10,396 --> 00:13:12,398
I don't want any of these,
I want to be with Xev!
105
00:13:12,399 --> 00:13:14,398
So sad.
106
00:13:23,959 --> 00:13:25,585
You have chosen - Talk Time!
107
00:13:25,586 --> 00:13:27,212
Good choice!
108
00:13:27,213 --> 00:13:30,467
No! Tweedle! This isn't Boy School!
109
00:13:31,722 --> 00:13:33,978
I'm glad.
110
00:13:45,232 --> 00:13:49,036
Every time. Every time!
She doesn't learn a thing.
111
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,820
Hi there!
112
00:13:50,821 --> 00:13:53,060
You could be our perfect roomie.
113
00:13:53,061 --> 00:13:56,417
Why not join me, Slinka -
And me, Yoyo -
114
00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:59,773
On Girl Time!
115
00:14:34,676 --> 00:14:36,567
Who is it?
116
00:14:36,568 --> 00:14:38,459
Stanley Tweedle.
117
00:14:44,363 --> 00:14:45,762
Oops! You're not the landlord.
118
00:14:47,236 --> 00:14:49,808
The landlord, no.
119
00:14:49,809 --> 00:14:52,378
We thought you were
the landlord, Mr Beetle.
120
00:14:53,733 --> 00:14:56,423
If I was the landlord, you
wouldn't have to pay any rent.
121
00:14:56,963 --> 00:15:00,150
Who is it, Slinka?
122
00:15:00,151 --> 00:15:02,542
It's Stanley Tweedle, Yoyo.
123
00:15:02,543 --> 00:15:04,336
Who?
124
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:09,715
Stanley Tweedle, captain of
the most - potent, spaceship of all time.
125
00:15:17,998 --> 00:15:19,977
I'm Slinka.
I'm Yoyo.
126
00:15:19,978 --> 00:15:21,257
Hi.
127
00:15:21,258 --> 00:15:23,936
We need a new roommate.
128
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:30,675
Er - do you have any openings?
129
00:16:06,325 --> 00:16:11,695
So - what're you going
to teach us today, Mistress Xev?
130
00:16:13,037 --> 00:16:15,448
I'm a graduate of the wife bank.
131
00:16:16,649 --> 00:16:19,382
I know exactly what I'm going to do.
132
00:16:20,083 --> 00:16:23,757
I'm going to start with basic teasing
133
00:16:26,259 --> 00:16:32,119
then move on to basic squeezing
134
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:44,482
and end up in advanced pleasing.
135
00:16:49,070 --> 00:16:51,355
So - when do I graduate?
136
00:16:51,356 --> 00:16:55,923
You can take an oral exam
right now, if you want.
137
00:16:59,924 --> 00:17:05,756
Congratulations, Xev!
You have received a 96 rating.
138
00:17:07,167 --> 00:17:08,959
This is fun!
139
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:11,648
You have qualified for prime time exposure.
140
00:17:11,649 --> 00:17:14,336
I want more. Turn them back on.
141
00:17:30,202 --> 00:17:32,189
I get that a lot.
142
00:17:38,037 --> 00:17:44,536
So - where were we?
143
00:17:59,690 --> 00:18:02,240
Our new room mate must be firm.
144
00:18:02,241 --> 00:18:06,015
Are you firm?
145
00:18:06,116 --> 00:18:08,390
Yeah, I can be pretty firm when
I have to be.
146
00:18:12,198 --> 00:18:14,887
Our new room mate must also be sensitive.
147
00:18:14,888 --> 00:18:17,577
Are you sensitive?
148
00:18:17,578 --> 00:18:20,268
Parts of me are very sensitive.
149
00:18:21,260 --> 00:18:23,360
You remember our last room mate,
don't you Yoyo?
150
00:18:23,361 --> 00:18:25,037
I do Slinka.
The poor man, he just wasn't firm
151
00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:30,064
Or sensitive - When he had to be.
Which was much of the time.
152
00:18:30,576 --> 00:18:32,031
So - Stanley Tweedle, is it?
153
00:18:32,032 --> 00:18:33,959
Yeah.
154
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:37,488
Can you leave us a deposit?
155
00:18:38,168 --> 00:18:39,671
A deposit?
156
00:18:40,785 --> 00:18:45,272
Yeah, I think I could, er, I could manage
to leave you a deposit, you know,
157
00:18:45,273 --> 00:18:49,416
if I'm the guy that - er, um, if -
158
00:18:49,417 --> 00:18:58,159
the thing, if I'm the guy you're
looking for, I could -
159
00:19:06,551 --> 00:19:09,136
It's the landlord, Mr Beetle!
160
00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:13,847
This time I catch you sluts red handed!
A pair of filthy sluts, both of you.
161
00:19:13,948 --> 00:19:16,826
And you, Mr Funny Funny -
162
00:19:17,627 --> 00:19:22,704
what kind of degenerate are you?
163
00:19:24,787 --> 00:19:30,929
Er - I can explain. See - er,
what we have here is - um - er, it's a -
164
00:19:32,014 --> 00:19:33,797
Too bad, Stanley Tweedle.
165
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:37,363
Girl Time is cancelled.
Your ratings were a little bit too low.
166
00:19:39,039 --> 00:19:41,572
In fact, they were a lot too low.
167
00:19:42,073 --> 00:19:45,891
Gimme another chance.
I can be funny, really I can.
168
00:19:46,631 --> 00:19:50,166
Did I ever tell you about the time
that I accidentally sent
169
00:19:50,167 --> 00:19:53,700
an entire family to a prisoner
docking bay on the Cluster?
170
00:19:56,871 --> 00:19:58,954
Boy, did I get demerit points!
171
00:19:58,955 --> 00:20:02,594
But hey Stanley Tweedle - prime time
is very competitive.
172
00:20:02,595 --> 00:20:06,236
You will get a new daytime show!
173
00:20:06,957 --> 00:20:10,196
Xev. Xev Bellringer of B3K.
174
00:20:10,197 --> 00:20:14,818
Never has there been a lovelier
representation of the human female form.
175
00:20:14,819 --> 00:20:19,637
Never has there been seen a more perfect
geometry in a human face.
176
00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:25,132
Your first guest is award
winning actor, Noch Einmal.
177
00:20:37,294 --> 00:20:39,715
Who are you?
178
00:20:39,716 --> 00:20:42,957
Thanks. It's really great
to be here - on your show.
179
00:20:43,380 --> 00:20:45,103
Have you seen Xev?
180
00:20:45,104 --> 00:20:48,553
Thanks. It's really great
to be here - on your show.
181
00:20:49,195 --> 00:20:51,713
Xev, you artificial excuse for an actor!
182
00:20:51,714 --> 00:20:54,231
Xev! Darling, wonderful, gorgeous Xev!
183
00:20:54,945 --> 00:20:59,140
Thanks. It's really great
to be here - on your show.
184
00:21:01,056 --> 00:21:03,679
Thanks. It's really great
to be here - on your show.
185
00:21:09,824 --> 00:21:13,271
Somebody forgot to wear clean underwear.
186
00:21:15,888 --> 00:21:19,630
Dr Stanley Tweedle -
did you tell your wife about us?
187
00:21:22,630 --> 00:21:27,114
About the times we ravaged each other
in the bathroom at the embassy,
188
00:21:27,603 --> 00:21:30,662
and when we made violent torrid love
189
00:21:30,663 --> 00:21:32,593
while hiding in the sewers?
190
00:21:33,694 --> 00:21:38,523
Does she know about our wonderful,
terrible secret?
191
00:21:41,218 --> 00:21:44,020
Actually,
192
00:21:44,021 --> 00:21:46,372
she said -
193
00:21:46,373 --> 00:21:52,126
it was OK if you and me ripped off
a piece - right here in the hospital even.
194
00:21:55,131 --> 00:22:00,051
Oh, Stanley Tweedle.
195
00:22:00,713 --> 00:22:04,777
Dr Stanley Tweedle, we must begin
the surgery before it's too late.
196
00:22:05,388 --> 00:22:07,499
Stanley Tweedle! How could you?!
197
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:09,610
What?
198
00:22:10,523 --> 00:22:12,645
After all we've been through,
199
00:22:12,646 --> 00:22:15,829
with the lies, and the drinking,
200
00:22:15,830 --> 00:22:19,012
and the cheap scenes with your whores!
201
00:22:19,974 --> 00:22:23,892
I will always love you, Stanley Tweedle.
202
00:22:26,581 --> 00:22:28,228
Bitch!
203
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:32,192
Oh boy.
204
00:22:35,065 --> 00:22:36,765
Too bad, Stanley Tweedle.
205
00:22:36,766 --> 00:22:39,266
Heartbreak Hospital is cancelled.
206
00:22:39,266 --> 00:22:42,265
Your ratings were a little bit too low.
207
00:22:48,069 --> 00:22:49,878
Fantastic Xev!
208
00:22:49,879 --> 00:22:51,584
You are getting excellent ratings.
209
00:22:51,585 --> 00:22:55,837
You are entitled to this showcase
of your many talents.
210
00:22:55,838 --> 00:22:59,289
Just be yourself, Xev.
211
00:23:00,324 --> 00:23:06,161
And now, what you have all been
waiting for - it's - The Xev Show!
212
00:23:08,207 --> 00:23:10,284
Hello everybody.
213
00:23:10,285 --> 00:23:12,362
Hello, boys.
214
00:23:13,499 --> 00:23:15,926
Hello, Xev!
215
00:23:58,659 --> 00:24:01,476
I have nice breasts.
216
00:24:06,140 --> 00:24:08,190
Technically you have breasts -
217
00:24:08,191 --> 00:24:10,917
but can your puffy bags even
remotely compare
218
00:24:10,918 --> 00:24:13,643
to the bouncy bosoms of my dream boat
on the river of love?
219
00:24:14,556 --> 00:24:16,805
Thousands would kill, buster.
220
00:24:17,819 --> 00:24:23,348
I want XEV!
221
00:25:08,576 --> 00:25:11,360
You all like balloons, don't you kids?
222
00:25:11,361 --> 00:25:14,146
We sure do, Farty!
223
00:25:15,426 --> 00:25:20,053
And how about you, Diapers?
Which do you like more -
224
00:25:20,054 --> 00:25:24,683
balloons, or making
a big boo boo in your bummy?
225
00:25:33,004 --> 00:25:36,387
Actually, I'm not real big
on either one, Farty.
226
00:25:36,388 --> 00:25:39,772
Oh, come on Diapers -
227
00:25:39,773 --> 00:25:43,156
don't be such a big baby!
228
00:25:47,418 --> 00:25:50,440
You know, there is an absolute limit
to the kind of crap I am prepared
229
00:25:50,441 --> 00:25:54,601
to take from a fat stupid wind-up clown
230
00:25:54,602 --> 00:25:57,933
who isn't even funny -
231
00:25:58,334 --> 00:26:00,563
Your bum stinks, Diapers!
232
00:26:04,624 --> 00:26:06,218
and a bunch of idiot android kids,
233
00:26:06,219 --> 00:26:08,610
I'm not gonna do it, do you hear?
234
00:26:08,611 --> 00:26:11,002
I am not gonna play this game anymore!
235
00:26:11,690 --> 00:26:14,116
Oh, come on Diapers -
236
00:26:14,117 --> 00:26:16,542
don't be such a big baby!
237
00:26:19,252 --> 00:26:21,036
Too bad, Stanley Tweedle.
238
00:26:21,036 --> 00:26:24,020
Your ratings do not qualify you
for morning show.
239
00:26:24,021 --> 00:26:26,810
Good!
240
00:26:26,811 --> 00:26:29,989
Unfortunately, you must now
be cast in Speciality Show.
241
00:26:31,061 --> 00:26:33,175
I don't want a speciality show,
242
00:26:33,176 --> 00:26:35,291
I want out.
243
00:27:25,051 --> 00:27:26,749
Too bad, Stanley Tweedle.
244
00:27:26,750 --> 00:27:29,023
You will no longer be cast in shows.
245
00:27:29,024 --> 00:27:32,434
When you came here, you agreed
to accept a certain element of risk.
246
00:27:32,435 --> 00:27:35,844
We all know that a game has a sharper
edge when the stakes are high.
247
00:27:36,246 --> 00:27:39,707
Our programmes are broadcast
throughout this solar system,
248
00:27:39,708 --> 00:27:43,169
exposing you to the possibility
of fortune and fame.
249
00:27:43,170 --> 00:27:45,300
The system expects a few guests
to perform poorly -
250
00:27:45,301 --> 00:27:48,831
which you have, Stanley Tweedle.
251
00:27:50,232 --> 00:27:52,312
But Stanley Tweedle, as a consolation prize,
252
00:27:52,313 --> 00:27:55,272
you'll get to watch lots of great shows,
253
00:27:55,273 --> 00:27:59,342
by being a permanent member
of our studio audience.
254
00:27:59,343 --> 00:28:01,548
And in order to join in those laughing
faces, you will now get to play
255
00:28:01,548 --> 00:28:04,653
in my favourite programme of all -
Speciality Show!
256
00:28:09,290 --> 00:28:12,307
I don't think so. I'm outta here.
257
00:28:18,656 --> 00:28:22,612
Hey Skooch - did you just hear something?
258
00:28:24,255 --> 00:28:29,502
Yeah. I think it was my stomach.
Must be lunch time.
259
00:28:30,925 --> 00:28:32,837
What have we here, Skooch?
260
00:28:32,838 --> 00:28:35,706
Get a load of this, Captain.
Mr Funny Funny here thinks -
261
00:28:35,707 --> 00:28:38,576
No - don't tell me - let me guess.
262
00:28:39,196 --> 00:28:41,126
I think there's been a misunderstanding.
263
00:28:41,127 --> 00:28:43,055
A scum bag!
264
00:28:44,020 --> 00:28:48,841
And tonight, right here on Speciality Show,
you get to see one more scum bag bite the dust.
265
00:28:49,613 --> 00:28:51,812
Wait just a second here now -
266
00:28:55,188 --> 00:28:59,169
Hey Skooch - did you just hear something?
267
00:28:59,807 --> 00:29:05,289
Yeah. I think it was my stomach.
Must be lunch time
268
00:29:07,976 --> 00:29:09,884
What have we here, Skooch?
269
00:29:09,885 --> 00:29:13,148
Get a load of this, Captain.
Mr Funny Funny here thinks -
270
00:29:13,149 --> 00:29:16,411
No - don't tell me - let me guess.
271
00:29:24,519 --> 00:29:26,468
What do we do with scum bags, Skooch?
272
00:29:26,469 --> 00:29:29,452
We separate their smiling faces
from the rest of their body, Captain.
273
00:29:29,452 --> 00:29:32,833
That's right. We decapitate them.
274
00:29:32,834 --> 00:29:34,815
Do you understand what I mean?
275
00:29:35,517 --> 00:29:37,495
But I didn't do anything!
276
00:29:39,146 --> 00:29:41,870
You see, our viewers understand
perfectly well how you got here.
277
00:29:41,871 --> 00:29:44,457
You didn't rate but this time,
278
00:29:44,458 --> 00:29:47,251
he will.
279
00:29:47,252 --> 00:29:50,044
But I don't wanna rate!
280
00:29:53,161 --> 00:29:57,682
And then I was taken to the marriage unit.
281
00:30:00,607 --> 00:30:03,132
It was to be my big day.
282
00:30:03,133 --> 00:30:09,324
But my husband - he called me a cow.
283
00:30:09,325 --> 00:30:12,713
So I punched him out.
284
00:30:16,634 --> 00:30:21,487
I don't know what came over me, all my wife
bank training just left me, I just - did it.
285
00:30:24,753 --> 00:30:29,346
Stan - well, Stan is nice enough
in his own way,
286
00:30:29,347 --> 00:30:33,044
but - he does nothing for me,
you know, sexually speaking -
287
00:30:33,045 --> 00:30:36,740
which logically he should, since I have
an accelerated libido.
288
00:30:38,899 --> 00:30:43,321
Kai, on the other hand -
that's a different story.
289
00:30:48,716 --> 00:30:50,953
But Kai is dead.
290
00:30:57,807 --> 00:30:59,373
You know -
291
00:30:59,374 --> 00:31:03,057
it's not easy being programmed to love,
292
00:31:03,058 --> 00:31:06,140
and - never finding it.
293
00:31:13,541 --> 00:31:20,175
I guess pretty girls can be lonely too.
294
00:31:24,583 --> 00:31:26,061
Too bad, Xev -
295
00:31:26,062 --> 00:31:28,940
but the Xev Show has been cancelled.
296
00:31:31,096 --> 00:31:33,884
What? Me?
297
00:31:35,931 --> 00:31:38,279
But hey Xev - I will find you a new show!
298
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:40,826
What new show?
299
00:31:46,876 --> 00:31:49,558
Xev, you pathetic cartoons!Xev!
300
00:31:49,559 --> 00:31:53,301
You are without question the most idiotic
substitutions for a life form -
301
00:31:53,302 --> 00:31:54,472
Tweedle excepted -
302
00:31:54,473 --> 00:31:57,141
that I have ever had the misfortune
to come across.
303
00:31:58,563 --> 00:32:01,892
I want XEV!!!
304
00:32:04,359 --> 00:32:06,156
Your next guest is -
305
00:32:06,157 --> 00:32:07,954
Shut up! I want Xev!
306
00:32:09,180 --> 00:32:10,955
Too bad, 790.
307
00:32:10,956 --> 00:32:12,443
Talk Time has been cancelled.
308
00:32:12,444 --> 00:32:14,016
Thank goodness.
309
00:32:14,016 --> 00:32:16,445
Your ratings are insufficient.
310
00:32:16,446 --> 00:32:17,910
Where's Xev?!
311
00:32:17,911 --> 00:32:21,574
Do not worry 790.
We will get you a new show!
312
00:32:22,661 --> 00:32:25,954
Darling - I will find you.
313
00:32:39,205 --> 00:32:41,108
Who is it?
314
00:32:41,109 --> 00:32:43,011
Where's Stanley Tweedle?
315
00:32:47,591 --> 00:32:49,541
Oops! You're not the landlord.
316
00:32:52,066 --> 00:32:55,200
We thought you were the landlord, Mr Beetle.
317
00:32:56,744 --> 00:32:58,509
Who is it, Slinka?
318
00:32:58,510 --> 00:33:01,292
It'sWhere's Stanley Tweedle, Yoyo.
319
00:33:01,293 --> 00:33:02,475
Who?
320
00:33:08,278 --> 00:33:10,845
I'm Slinka.
I'm Yoyo.
321
00:33:10,846 --> 00:33:13,413
We need a new roommate.
322
00:33:13,414 --> 00:33:15,979
Where's Stanley Tweedle?
323
00:33:23,221 --> 00:33:25,996
It's the landlord, Mr Beetle!
324
00:33:26,319 --> 00:33:28,868
This time I ca - ca-
aught you sluts red handed!
325
00:33:28,869 --> 00:33:31,418
A pair of filthy sluts, the both of you.
326
00:33:33,014 --> 00:33:36,426
And you, Mr Funny Funny -
327
00:33:36,427 --> 00:33:39,841
I am not funny.
328
00:33:46,308 --> 00:33:50,156
Oh, Where's Stanley Tweedle.
329
00:33:50,157 --> 00:33:55,405
Dr Where's Stanley Tweedle, we must begin
the surgery before it's too late.
330
00:33:57,323 --> 00:34:00,631
Where's Stanley Tweedle! How could you?!
331
00:34:00,632 --> 00:34:01,814
What?
332
00:34:01,815 --> 00:34:04,202
After all we've been through,
333
00:34:04,203 --> 00:34:07,782
with the lies, and the drinking,
334
00:34:07,783 --> 00:34:11,362
and the cheap scenes with your whores!
335
00:34:11,838 --> 00:34:15,213
I am not - sentimental.
336
00:34:25,128 --> 00:34:27,357
Are you ready to spin?
Yeah!
337
00:34:27,358 --> 00:34:28,644
Are you ready to win?
Yeah!
338
00:34:28,645 --> 00:34:31,217
Well, let's go!
339
00:34:38,278 --> 00:34:40,558
Please help me find Xev.
340
00:34:43,256 --> 00:34:47,920
XXEVVV!!!!!!!!!!!
341
00:34:48,595 --> 00:34:50,323
Too bad, 790.
342
00:34:50,324 --> 00:34:53,516
Your ratings do not qualify you
for morning TV.
343
00:34:53,517 --> 00:34:56,708
Unfortunately you will now
be cast in Speciality Show.
344
00:34:59,025 --> 00:35:02,843
Would Speciality Show have
a Xev in it, by any chance?
345
00:35:22,563 --> 00:35:25,148
You all like balloons, don't you kids?
346
00:35:25,149 --> 00:35:27,733
We sure do, Farty!
347
00:35:29,093 --> 00:35:33,521
And how about you, Diapers?
Which do you like more -
348
00:35:33,521 --> 00:35:36,234
balloons, or making
a big boo boo in your bummy?
349
00:35:36,235 --> 00:35:38,946
I am not -
350
00:35:41,513 --> 00:35:47,636
Actually - I remember
having a fondness for balloons.
351
00:36:00,183 --> 00:36:02,657
Any last words, scum bag?
352
00:36:03,165 --> 00:36:05,308
Please don't do this.
353
00:36:15,168 --> 00:36:18,005
I suggest you try to find Xev.
354
00:36:29,858 --> 00:36:31,700
Now that's entertainment!
355
00:36:31,701 --> 00:36:36,589
Join us next time for another
exciting episode of Speciality Show!
356
00:36:43,940 --> 00:36:45,183
Kai?
357
00:36:59,006 --> 00:37:00,688
Kai?
358
00:37:19,508 --> 00:37:21,134
Xev.
359
00:37:50,368 --> 00:37:52,581
Diapers!
360
00:37:54,808 --> 00:37:56,643
Would you like a balloon, Diapers?
361
00:37:56,644 --> 00:38:02,149
Oh, I love balloons, Farty.
362
00:38:07,283 --> 00:38:12,553
Now remember kiddies -
don't try this at home!
363
00:38:13,559 --> 00:38:15,359
Congratulations, Stanley!
364
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:18,157
You have qualified to move up in the ratings.
365
00:38:19,038 --> 00:38:23,073
Wow! Lucky me!
366
00:38:27,666 --> 00:38:33,064
Yes Xev. This is tremendous.
367
00:38:38,300 --> 00:38:40,702
Isn't Xev tremendous?
368
00:38:43,193 --> 00:38:45,585
Any last words, scum bag?
369
00:38:45,962 --> 00:38:54,694
Yes. Xev Xev Xev Xev Xev ....!!!
370
00:38:57,552 --> 00:39:00,067
Now that's entertainment!
371
00:39:07,514 --> 00:39:11,243
Xev - make us laugh.
372
00:39:14,269 --> 00:39:15,293
Kai!
373
00:39:16,462 --> 00:39:17,629
790.
374
00:39:18,164 --> 00:39:19,791
Have you seen Xev?
375
00:39:20,379 --> 00:39:22,358
She's right in front of you - on TV.
376
00:39:23,770 --> 00:39:27,066
Oh, sweet angel mine!
377
00:39:28,107 --> 00:39:30,818
Xev is funny, don't you think?
378
00:39:36,863 --> 00:39:43,317
Oh, stop it Xev!
379
00:39:54,086 --> 00:39:56,024
It only took me seconds -
380
00:39:56,025 --> 00:39:58,932
but of course it would take you months
381
00:39:58,933 --> 00:40:01,840
or even years to have a figure like mine.
382
00:40:06,733 --> 00:40:10,644
My body - is a perfect body.
Perfect in every way.
383
00:40:10,645 --> 00:40:12,598
See I don't have to exercise.
384
00:40:14,993 --> 00:40:18,729
It just doesn't make any difference.
385
00:40:20,294 --> 00:40:25,966
So, I'm going to sit down,
and you can watch me - relax.
386
00:40:36,914 --> 00:40:38,218
Now what?
387
00:40:38,248 --> 00:40:39,967
Too bad, Xev.
388
00:40:39,968 --> 00:40:42,948
Super Stretch and Bounce has been cancelled.
389
00:40:42,949 --> 00:40:45,538
That's because I don't want to do
Super Stretch and Bounce.
390
00:40:45,639 --> 00:40:47,926
I want to finish my show, the Xev Show.
391
00:40:48,615 --> 00:40:50,948
Your ratings do not qualify you for morning shows.
392
00:40:50,949 --> 00:40:54,281
Unfortunately you must now be cast on Speciality Show.
393
00:41:00,188 --> 00:41:06,110
Foulness! Despair! Murder! Evil! Help!
394
00:41:07,138 --> 00:41:08,897
Hold it. Before you say anything,
395
00:41:08,898 --> 00:41:10,656
I'm looking for a gorgeous woman named Xev.
396
00:41:10,657 --> 00:41:12,415
Now what's the quickest way out of here?
397
00:41:14,409 --> 00:41:18,085
I'll always love you, Stanley Tweedle.
398
00:41:21,277 --> 00:41:22,581
Kai?!
399
00:41:23,562 --> 00:41:27,334
Stanley Tweedle! How could you?!
400
00:41:27,335 --> 00:41:31,106
Sorry honey, I only want you for your body.
401
00:41:32,591 --> 00:41:34,694
After all we've been through.
402
00:41:34,695 --> 00:41:37,850
With the lies, and the drinking,
403
00:41:37,851 --> 00:41:41,004
and the cheap scenes with your whores.
404
00:41:41,575 --> 00:41:45,016
Congratulations, Stanley! You have
qualified to move up in the ratings.
405
00:41:45,017 --> 00:41:48,456
Yeah yeah, someday I'm gonna be
a big star, right.
406
00:41:53,131 --> 00:41:57,752
You will now get to play in myfavourite
programme of all - Speciality Show!
407
00:42:03,502 --> 00:42:06,588
Hey Skooch - did you just hear something?
408
00:42:08,586 --> 00:42:13,607
Yeah. I think it was my stomach.
Must be lunch time. Oh, yeah.
409
00:42:14,602 --> 00:42:16,740
What have we here, Skooch?
410
00:42:16,741 --> 00:42:18,880
Get a load of this, Captain.
Miss Funny Beautiful here -
411
00:42:19,290 --> 00:42:22,205
No - don't tell me - let me guess.
412
00:42:22,206 --> 00:42:25,120
A scum bag!
413
00:42:26,795 --> 00:42:34,080
Xev - show.
Xev - show.
414
00:42:34,929 --> 00:42:38,053
Well, tonight, right here on Speciality Show,
415
00:42:38,054 --> 00:42:41,177
you get to see one more
scum bag bite the dust.
416
00:42:48,892 --> 00:42:51,837
What do we do with scum bags, Skooch?
417
00:42:51,838 --> 00:42:54,783
We separate their smiling faces
from the rest of their body, Captain.
418
00:42:54,964 --> 00:42:56,929
That's right.
419
00:42:56,930 --> 00:43:00,027
We decapitate them.
Do you understand what I mean?
420
00:43:02,128 --> 00:43:03,924
Any last words, scum bag?
421
00:43:06,609 --> 00:43:09,468
Not for you.
422
00:43:18,392 --> 00:43:19,610
Stan.
423
00:43:24,060 --> 00:43:26,293
Who's the scum bag now, tough guy?
424
00:43:28,466 --> 00:43:31,901
So - having fun yet?
425
00:43:37,219 --> 00:43:40,317
Now that's entertainment!
426
00:43:59,215 --> 00:44:01,255
I thought you were wonderful, Xev
427
00:44:01,256 --> 00:44:03,298
Thanks.
428
00:44:50,732 --> 00:44:55,940
It's - it's hard to explain,
429
00:44:55,941 --> 00:44:58,545
but when I was up there on stage, all alone,
430
00:44:58,546 --> 00:45:01,150
I really felt that I was - special.
431
00:45:02,192 --> 00:45:05,756
You are the most special
creature ever created.
432
00:45:06,397 --> 00:45:09,613
It was all artificial,
they weren't really alive.
433
00:45:11,660 --> 00:45:17,390
Being alive isn't everything.
434
00:45:20,043 --> 00:45:27,442
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