Original subtitles

♪♪

Before my mom died,

she told me I wasn't dumb.

I was just a slow learner.

She was a smart lady.

That's what my dad says.

I remember once she told me, ever since the Civil War,

people in the South had this problem...

they felt inferior, real sensitive about people

criticizing their lifestyles or education or whatnot.

But there's no need to feel inferior, she said.

Not everybody's meant to be a doctor, an artist, whatever.

There's nothing wrong with being an average kid.

Luke.

You don't want to have to go back

and re-do another year.

No.

You'd rather it was all over, right?

School, math problems...

- Yeah.

I'm sorry, I'll bring it tomorrow. I did it.

I just forgot.

Besides being here...

- Normal.

Spending a lot of time with Jonah.

Jonah?

- My boyfriend.

- Right.

Um...

Is he...

redhead, right?

- Yeah that's him. - Cute guy.

- Yep.

Lucky me.

I never had him.

- You wouldn't.

He's gifted.

- Oh.

- He leaves in August.

College?

- Yep.

- Um... forever.

We've known each other since we were four.

- Wow.

Your families know? - More or less.

- I just... Nobody really talks about it.

It's not that big of a deal. - Okay.

- Anyway, it doesn't matter.

I'm not that upset about it.

Everybody knew he was gonna leave, so...

it's not that big of a surprise.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

He's better than all of this, so...

- Here.

- I like it here. - Different strokes.

- So... why do you think he's better?

- Um... okay... so...

He did this little painting of a watermelon

when he was, like, four.

It was supposed to be a watermelon.

Like, a slice of watermelon.

You really couldn't tell what it was. I thought it was a ladybug.

But his teacher said it reminded her of modern artists.

She gave his parents a hundred bucks for it.

He was only four.

He's good at everything.

I'm sure he's not good at everything.

- Fine.

He sucks at sports.

- Well...

- Lots of people.

- Anyway, he's better now.

A little.

I taught him a few things.

I taught him how to swim.

- You were on the swim team, right?

- Yeah, and baseball.

His parents signed him up for baseball.

You can imagine how that went.

Um...

He pissed himself on the way to practice.

- He was six.

It wasn't, like, recently.

He did my homework for me.

And I helped him.

We made a deal.

- And you've been together ever since, huh?

- Yeah.

We like each other.

- That's nice.

- It's like...

What's the word for when...

You know, those rhinoceroses and the little birds

live on them and eat the bugs off the skin...

- Symbiotic.

- Yeah, that.

I'm the rhino.

And the bird...

- I'm sorry.

So what about you.

What do you want to do?

Any ideas?

Anything you'd like to do?

- No.

I don't know.

Haven't figured that out yet.

- Well that's okay.

Not really.

- It's normal.

Do your homework, Luke.

Stop! You have to study!

I remember, when we were in third grade,

we had to write autobiographies.

Jonah asked his parents what he was like

when he was a baby.

They talked about it and decided

that it would be a good time to tell him he was adopted.

They thought he'd be upset

or that he'd feel unwanted or angry.

I think he was relieved.

He said his parents told him he was special.

He was a gift from God.

I guess that's what most parents tell their kids.

"You're special."

"You're a gift from God."

"You can do anything you set your mind to."

Before that, he was lonely, would sit by himself at lunches.

He asked people why they didn't like him,

why he didn't fit in.

He wanted to.

Then all of the sudden, he was fine.

He'd been lonely.

Now, he was just...

alone.

And he understood why.

He wasn't meant to be here.

And he knew, one day, he would leave.

- Fine.

They said it'd be three thousand dollars, parts and labor.

It's more than she's worth, apparently.

Maybe you wanna trade her in.

Get something you can actually drive.

- I'll fix her.

Seems like a lot to pay for college.

Well, he wants to leave home,

so I said fine, do whatever.

Get the loan. I don't care.

I ain't paying for it.

You sure you want to go all the way up north?

That's what he decided.

It's cold up there.

Hey, Luke!

Connecticut, New York, wherever, Detroit.

They're very cynical.

Think they're better than everybody else.

- Well, he'll fit right in.

- That's what I think, anyway.

I don't know.

You know Suzi's son.

He went off to college,

spent a whole lot of money on a good school.

Where is he now?

Right here, right back where he started from,

waiting tables.

Where'd all that money get him?

Nowhere.

It's just a total waste.

Casserole.

What you been doing since school's out?

- Work.

Summer school.

They made you take summer school?

- Yeah.

Failed a couple things.

Well, that's all right.

You tried your best.

- Not smart like that son of yours.

- Well, now smart isn't everything.

You know, I saw a bumper sticker the other day, on a car.

It said, "my son's not on the honor roll",

"but I'm proud of him anyway."

And I thought to myself, yeah, that is so true.

- Hey, dad.

Forget your mom.

She means well.

She just...

doesn't think before she talks some times.

She says I think too much.

She says you can't enjoy life

if you spend too much time thinking about it.

- Maybe.

The truth is, I idolize him.

I think he's perfect.

I think, I would give up everything for Luke.

We both have no idea where we're headed,

what we'll do, what we'll become.

But it tortures me, and he moves forward.

A few days ago, I was talking to my dad,

and I asked him, if he could go anywhere,

where would it be?

And he said, "I'm fine right here."

I asked him, "Don't you want to see other places, or other countries?"

And he said, "There's enough to see right here in America."

It's funny.

Some people feel so comfortable in one place,

and others feel trapped.

An old cliche:

"the grass is always greener on the other side."

But not for everyone.

Not for some people.

Some people, I've found,

prefer the shade of their own backyard.

To want something different is, maybe,

to want to be frightened or unhappy.

To know that you are not a part of any order...

no community, no home, and to move forward,

never at peace, from one thing to the next.

I think of the animals in the yards and farms nearby,

horses, cows.

What a happy life.

Quiet.

Resigned to the day-to-day, in a single space.

Same grass, same sky.

Oblivious.

No thoughts of a higher power, or tomorrow,

or another place, or of anything else.

I think: what a gift.

What peace.

- They're on me.

He likes you.

That boy.

No, he doesn't.

Of course he does.

Why wouldn't he?

Trying to get rid of me?

- No.

- I don't want to be with anybody else.

No.

Here.

You can't do this, because...

You can't factor four out of the whole thing.

Only the top.

So you do four, X,

plus four over eight X.

Get it?

- A couple hours.

- I didn't know whether to put him on the team or not.

His father says he needs physical activity.

I was just afraid he's get his feelings hurt.

He's so much smaller than the other kids.

He seems to be having a good enough time.

I guess that's what matters.

- Ahh!

That's okay.

Keep your eye on the ball.

You got it?

Ready?

My dad said he would help me

with the down-payment on a car.

He said I needed something sturdy, Japanese...

He said America can't keep up.

Something used with a few miles on it,

but something that would drive.

And someone will take my old car

for a few thousand dollars,

and I'll take someone else's.

And I started to think about Jonah,

and about his birth mother, and his mom,

and passing him from one person to the next,

and wanting him to be mine.

So I bought a camera, and I took pictures of him.

Jonah said he heard a quote somewhere that said,

"if it wasn't photographed, it never existed."

I don't know who said it.

He's full of quotes.

I call him a smarty-pants.

He said, "They're not my ideas."

"They're other people's."

"I'm just borrowing them."

The music you were playing sounded nice.

Thanks.

That something you come up with?

No.

Thought you might've wrote it.

I need to dust your room.

Fine.

You doing anything today?

Picking up Luke when he's done with work.

What y'all gonna do?

- I don't know.

What is there to do?

I mean...

You gonna have to split up, or...?

- Oh.

No.

I'd hate to see that happen.

I don't want to talk about it.

You don't have to get upset.

It's okay.

You're gonna be okay.

Make new friends, keep the old.

One's silver, the other's gold.

I don't know, Jonah.

It's just a saying.

- It's stupid.

It doesn't mean anything.

- I'm not stupid.

I never said...

- I'm your mother.

- I made my mother cry.

Eh...

She cries easy.

- Yeah.

I feel very...

unrelated to them.

She asked me if we were staying together.

- Fingers crossed.

- I don't know.

I think she'd rather us stay together

if it meant I'd stay.

- She just wants to torture you for a couple more years.

- Yeah.

There you go.

Signed by the whole team.

- I wish you'd ask me not to go.

Too late now.

- I could change my mind.

- Stop it.

- It'd be simpler.

I'm scared.

Don't be.

You can always come back.

This place isn't going anywhere.

- I'm not going anywhere either.

- I don't know why I have to be like this.

I don't know why I can't just care

about the things everyone else cares about.

Like what?

- I don't know.

Barbecues?

- Yeah.

- Please tell me not to go.

- No.

- I wish you would.

- Tough.

Tough luck.

Not gonna happen.

Jonah read me a line from a book

he was reading.

It said, "Happiness serves little purpose",

"except that it makes unhappiness possible."

I once asked my dad how you know

you've found the right person,

and he said, "You just know."

"You find someone you don't mind being around,"

"going places with, watching a movie, sleeping next to..."

"Someone who isn't like you,"

"someone who makes you better,"

"who you forgive for being different,"

"for not seeing the world the way you see it."

We'll try,

see if things can last.

But things don't last.

He'll meet other people,

much more interesting than me.

And they'll love him.