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1
00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:05,906
Hey, Baxter. Oh.
2
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,708
Uh, yeah, I won't bother you
if you're busy.
3
00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:09,577
Oh, you're not bothering me.
Come on in. What's up?
4
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:13,514
Is this a trap?
5
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:16,484
Is a bucket of water gonna
fall on my head or something?
6
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:19,487
No, no, no.
I mean, you bother me a lot,
7
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,921
but not today.
8
00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:22,156
As a matter of fact,
for the next couple weeks,
9
00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:24,825
it's happy Mike Baxter.
10
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:28,662
Oh, that's right,
it's bass festival season.
11
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:31,865
It's Big Ass Bass Festival.
12
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:33,367
Show a little respect, you know.
13
00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:34,768
Christmastime can suck it.
14
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:36,237
This is the most wonderful time
of the year.
15
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,438
(chuckles):
Yeah.
16
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:39,207
You know, I actually can't wait.
17
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,076
-I-I heard there's gonna be
a beer garden this year.
-Yeah.
18
00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:43,677
It's gonna make
the three-legged race
19
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,679
a lot more fun to watch.
20
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:48,716
And the lawn dart game.
I'll tell you what, huh?
21
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:50,751
It's the 25th anniversary
of Ed and I doing this,
22
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:52,052
so I'm pulling out
all the stops.
23
00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:54,122
Yeah, I bet Ed has some crazy
ideas cooked up, too.
24
00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:55,423
Ed always has crazy ideas,
25
00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:57,791
but this time of year,
they work in perfectly.
26
00:00:57,825 --> 00:01:00,461
Nothing can beat what he did
for the grand finale last year.
27
00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:01,795
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
28
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:04,798
Fireworks and a performance
by Air Supply.
29
00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:07,801
That's because Toto
wasn't available.
30
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:09,069
-(laughter)
-Yeah.
31
00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:10,471
Ironically, they were in Africa.
32
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:11,972
(laughs)
33
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:14,775
Oh, I love that band.
I'm a total Toto-head.
34
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,277
We were just talking
about the festival,
35
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:17,978
and we're both excited about
what your big surprise
36
00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:19,079
is gonna be this time.
37
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:20,214
It's bad news, Mikey.
38
00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:21,382
-Yeah?
-Yep.
39
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:22,950
You're gonna have to host
the festival without me.
40
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:24,552
-(Mike laughing)
-I'm out.
41
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,987
Yeah. You know,
your surprises aren't
42
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:29,657
quite as fun as they used to be.
43
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:32,092
*
44
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,399
All right, look,
I'm not buying this.
45
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:39,833
You're not coming
to the festival?
46
00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:42,069
Yeah, yeah, Ed, I mean,
who's gonna pour the Bass-tinis?
47
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,004
Yeah.
48
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:47,475
Pond. James Pond.
49
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:50,110
Netted, not stirred.
50
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:52,613
I'm serious. I'm gonna be
away that weekend
51
00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:54,315
with my lovely bride.
52
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,950
Aw, what can I say?
We're newlyweds.
53
00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:58,519
We're joined
at the arthritic hips.
54
00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:00,488
(both chuckle)
55
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,256
Okay, well, you have a wonderful
day at work, my love.
56
00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:03,757
-Mmm...
-Okay.
57
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,493
It won't be wonderful
until I get back home
58
00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:06,527
to see you, my dear.
59
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,162
-Oh... ta!
-See you later, Bonnie.
60
00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:09,763
Love your lovin'.
61
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,165
What do you mean you're not
coming to the festival?
62
00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:13,301
-What's the matter with you?
-Yeah, Ed.
63
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,469
We all love our wives,
but what could be
64
00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:16,704
more important
than the festival?
65
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,105
Bonnie wants me to accompany her
66
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,842
to the Bessler Art Museum
Annual Gala in Connecticut.
67
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:24,978
Oh, the Bessler Art Gallery?
Why didn't you say something?
68
00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:26,180
You hate art.
69
00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:28,048
Now, come on now,
easy, easy, now.
70
00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:29,383
Art is very important to Bonnie.
71
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:31,051
Well, art's very important
here in Colorado,
72
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:33,787
-and bass fishing's
like fine art.
-Yeah.
73
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,323
I once caught a fish
by the nuke plant,
74
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:38,158
looked like a Picasso painting.
75
00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:40,060
Three eyes,
gills on top of its head,
76
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:41,229
and a thumb.
77
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,064
And you ate it.
78
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:47,901
See, I'm-I'm gonna hate
missing our festival,
79
00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:49,970
but this is the kind of choice
that I didn't make
80
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,305
with my other marriages,
81
00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:53,173
and you know how well
they turned out.
82
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:55,042
All right.
Can't argue with that.
83
00:02:55,075 --> 00:02:57,211
-Thanks for understanding.
-Mm.
84
00:02:57,245 --> 00:02:59,480
And when Air Supply gets here,
have them dedicate
85
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,182
"Lost in Love" for Ed.
86
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:04,084
That's my jam.
87
00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:07,688
What do you mean
"you can't argue with that"?
88
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,890
You'll fight anything.
89
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,058
-No, I won't.
-Yes, you will.
90
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:12,693
-No, I won't.
-I know what you're doing.
91
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:13,727
No, you don't.
92
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:14,928
No, you don't, no, you don't,
93
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:16,697
but thanks
for helping me warm up.
94
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,065
'Cause, yes, I will fight this.
95
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:25,239
I am so excited I get to run
the Kids' Corral this year.
96
00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:27,107
Well, you're about to find out
that setting up fun and games
97
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,610
is not all fun and games.
98
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,512
Yes, but, um, it doesn't matter
99
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,414
because I am doing this for you.
100
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:34,748
You've got my goddaughter
in there,
101
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:37,951
so I want you to go rest
before the big kapow!
102
00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:41,855
Yes, because birth is just like
Batman punching the Joker.
103
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,358
Okay, Goldfish Pond.
104
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:47,094
You're gonna have to buy lots
of live goldfish for prizes.
105
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:50,398
Don't be like Eve.
Remember to feed them.
106
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,300
Next, corn dogs.
107
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:55,536
Don't be like Eve.
Remember to cook them.
108
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,204
Are you paying attention?
109
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,740
Yes, cook the goldfish and put
fish food on the corn dogs.
110
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,141
-Mandy?
-(chuckles)
111
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,377
I am kidding.
Look, I have got this.
112
00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:04,612
I don't want you to
give this another thought.
113
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,079
-Now go home and rest.
-Okay.
114
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:08,882
Last thing.
Face painting.
115
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,218
It is the most popular booth and
the reason that you will hate
116
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,388
children's cheeks
for the rest of your life.
117
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:16,657
I know. It's so hard
to find a face painter.
118
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,426
Oh, no, they're easy to find.
(chuckles)
119
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:19,927
They're usually in their car
smoking pot
120
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,962
while they should be
painting faces.
121
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:26,500
Well, Kris, I am
way ahead of you. Jen!
122
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,842
What do you think?
123
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:37,177
Ah, that's amazing.
He looks just like a tiger.
124
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:38,646
Oh, yeah, I feel like a tiger.
125
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:39,980
I should be in a cage,
126
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:42,950
just pacing back and forth.
127
00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:46,754
It's great, uh, but how long
did that take you, Jen?
128
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,523
I got it down to
two and a half hours.
129
00:04:49,557 --> 00:04:51,825
That's not gonna work.
130
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,160
You're gonna have
to paint a face
131
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:54,261
every three or four minutes.
132
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,963
Oh, like an assembly line?
133
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:58,231
-Exactly.
-I quit!
134
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,702
I am an artist.
135
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:04,472
You should hire gang members
to tag the children.
136
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:09,643
Okay, I will find someone.
137
00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:11,679
This is not your problem,
so you go home.
138
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:13,213
-I've got this.
-Okay, okay.
139
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:16,750
-But if you need anything...
-I won't. Go home.
140
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,787
Okay, I am getting
a little scared, Kyle.
141
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,655
(chuckles)
Relax.
142
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:24,458
I'm not gonna maul you.
143
00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:27,595
Although I could tear the ass
off an antelope right now.
144
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:31,865
(door shuts)
145
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:34,234
Hey, is that my favorite
bottle of wine?
146
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,570
(chuckles)
I knew I liked you.
147
00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:38,005
Yeah.
148
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:40,073
It's also your mother's
favorite bottle of wine,
149
00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:43,544
so hands off of that.
150
00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:44,545
Still like me?
151
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:47,147
-No. Now I'm on the fence.
-(laughs)
152
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,216
So, why are you
giving her this gift?
153
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:51,184
What, uh...
what do you want from her?
154
00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:53,754
Maybe I just want her to know
how much she means to me.
155
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:57,391
Uh-huh.
What do you want from her?
156
00:05:57,425 --> 00:06:00,561
She's taking Ed to some
gallery opening in Connecticut
157
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:02,262
the same weekend
as the bass festival.
158
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,031
Oh, yeah, yeah,
the Bessler Museum.
159
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,433
Yeah, she goes every year.
160
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:08,569
Look, galas are kind of
her natural habitat.
161
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,904
Well, that's great for her,
but she's making Ed go?
162
00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:13,240
-She's making him?
-Yeah.
163
00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:14,708
She's made him love her so much
164
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,109
that he thinks
he actually wants to go.
165
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:18,278
It's, like, diabolical.
166
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:21,281
And the bottle of wine
is supposed to convince her
167
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:23,350
-that they should
stay here instead?
-Exactly.
168
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,586
Right. And you really think
you can convince my mother
169
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,288
to give up Monet and champagne
for a... for an event
170
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:31,358
that includes a worm race?
171
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,860
We don't do the worm race
anymore.
172
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:35,996
I had to shut it down.
The mob got involved.
173
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,232
You don't think
I can pull this off?
174
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:41,602
I think she will see
right through it.
175
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,403
Look, honey,
you don't need the wine.
176
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:44,672
You're-you're a salesman.
177
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:47,541
Just-just sell her on the,
the importance of the festival.
178
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:48,942
You really think I can do this,
179
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:51,278
or do you just want
that bottle of wine?
180
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:55,616
Honey, honey, I believe in you.
181
00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:56,617
-(chuckles)
-Yeah.
182
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:57,918
And I don't need the bag.
183
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:10,330
Hey.
You wanted to see me, Mike?
184
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:11,832
My favorite mother-in-law.
185
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:14,001
Oh, darling.
My favorite son-in-law.
186
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:16,336
And don't tell
Vanessa's sister
187
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,871
or that idiot husband of hers.
188
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:21,642
Mum is the word, Mum.
189
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,243
Why don't you have a seat?
You know Chuck.
190
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,145
-Oh, Chuck, hi.
-Yeah. Nice to see you, Bonnie.
191
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,781
Although I must say
I miss seeing you with Ed,
192
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,783
you crazy lovebirds.
193
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,852
(chuckles)
No, you don't.
194
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,153
No, I don't.
195
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:34,655
I didn't think so.
196
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:37,591
-So, what's going on here?
-MIKE: Okay.
197
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,927
Well, we're doing our final push
for promotion
198
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,629
for our Big Ass Bass Festival.
199
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:42,630
Oh, what a charming name.
200
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:47,501
Oh, uh, would you like
a T-shirt?
201
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:49,803
Uh, I really wouldn't,
thank you.
202
00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:52,606
Okay, so here's what's going on.
Our radio sponsors are gonna
203
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,609
have us on the air
to reach out to people...
204
00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:56,777
that really don't understand
205
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,679
what the B.A.B. Festival
is all about.
206
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,147
Oh, that stands for Big Ass...
207
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:03,016
I was able to break the code...
208
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,952
You know, they may know
the-the event,
209
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,720
but they don't know
the history of the event, right?
210
00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:08,856
People like you, Bonnie.
People who are new to Colorado.
211
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:09,857
Right, right, so, would you mind
212
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:11,525
if we bounced
a few ideas off you?
213
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:12,726
No, not at all. I'm not--
214
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,729
I'm not sure that
I'm exactly the target, uh,
215
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:17,330
Fat Ass Bass, uh, audience...
216
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:20,634
(Chuck stammering)
217
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,469
Big Ass Bass.
218
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:27,074
Oh, Big. I stand corrected.
Forgive me, forgive me.
219
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:30,410
All right, I am, I am all ready
for the history lesson.
220
00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,512
You know, this is...
this is kind of like
221
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:33,914
listening to public radio.
222
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,383
No, no, it's not like
public radio. No.
223
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:40,654
It's a totally-- no.
Hell no! No.
224
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:43,090
-All right, give it a shot.
-Okay, here we go.
225
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,758
(dramatic voice):
25 years ago,
226
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:49,129
Mike Baxter and Ed Alzate
had a dream.
227
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:53,834
To create a festival
that would bring together
228
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:57,337
their two great loves:
fishing and the family
229
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,273
they were building
at Outdoor Man.
230
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:02,743
This is the story
of that journey.
231
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:04,612
This is the story of
232
00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:09,549
-the Big Ass Bass Festival.
-(Mike mouths)
233
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:10,951
Yeah.
234
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:12,085
Man, are-are you hooked?
235
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:13,086
(chuckles)
236
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,422
That's actually funny.
Are you hooked?
237
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,758
-I'm on the edge of my seat.
-Right.
238
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,392
But th-the history is
even more interesting
239
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:21,394
'cause it started with just me
and Ed and my family
240
00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:22,630
sitting on a cooler of beer
241
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,765
with other customers of
the store that liked to fish.
242
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:26,934
-And-and this year
we're drawing thousands.
-Right.
243
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,535
And we'll raise
more than 200 grand
244
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,470
-for the Children's Hospital.
-We hope. 200 grand.
245
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,372
Oh, wow.
I'm certainly reeled in.
246
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,941
Reeled in. Get it?
247
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:38,245
Yeah, I do,
and that was magnificent.
248
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,380
And next year the festival
will be even bigger.
249
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:43,717
But the reality is...
without Ed here,
250
00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:46,286
it's gonna just, uh,
feel smaller.
251
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,156
I see.
252
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:52,626
Well, Mike, I know why
you're sharing this with me,
253
00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:55,428
and you've... you've given me
something to think about.
254
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:57,497
Bonnie, that's all I wanted
to do is just kind of
255
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,833
open your mind a-a smidge
just to th-the world
256
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:00,968
we live in around here.
257
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:03,170
Uh, a new and exciting world.
258
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:07,107
(dramatically):
The world of Big Ass Bass.
259
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:13,113
Chuck, you should do voices
for animated films.
260
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,481
Shouldn't he?
Shouldn't he, Mike?
261
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,984
You know, Bonnie,
I've heard better.
262
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:19,019
*
263
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,522
Hello? Hi. Hi, hi, hi.
264
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:23,523
I have been calling around
265
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:24,925
to try and find
some ponies to rent,
266
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,493
but no one seems to have any.
267
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:29,629
Can you please explain
the great pony shortage of 2020?
268
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:35,002
Oh, I'm sorry, then don't
call yourself a pet shop!
269
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:39,006
KYLE:
Okay, Mandy, we're ready.
270
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,174
Okay, not-not yet.
271
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:43,443
Not yet.
272
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:46,479
And done.
Four minutes flat. (chuckles)
273
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,287
Is she a bunny?
274
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:57,390
Or a kitty or a dog
275
00:10:57,424 --> 00:11:01,161
or anything in
the animal kingdom, really.
276
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:02,195
What do you think?
277
00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:05,165
Well, she looks
like she did it herself.
278
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,500
In the dark.
279
00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:09,569
With her foot.
280
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:14,641
Well, it's kind of
her own fault.
281
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,443
She doesn't have any
natural bunny features.
282
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,580
Okay, I know I quit
being the face painter,
283
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:23,851
but now I'd like
to withdraw my face.
284
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:27,054
Hey, everybody.
Brought over the tickets.
285
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:30,157
And my special agave syrup
for the snow cones.
286
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,324
Snow cones?
287
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,660
You did rent the machine,
didn't you?
288
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,029
(chuckling):
Uh, Ryan, of course she did.
289
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:38,165
How much of an idiot
do you think she is?
290
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:41,034
(chuckling):
Yeah, come on, man.
291
00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:44,504
Good God.
292
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,506
That's not what
the face painting's
293
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,075
-gonna look like, right?
-KYLE: Right.
294
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,243
We're not even sure
what that's supposed to be.
295
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:52,112
Yeah, come on, man.
296
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:54,681
Shouldn't you go back
to your wife?
297
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,783
I mean, how is she?
298
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:57,885
Uh, her back hurts,
her feet are swollen,
299
00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,552
and, "Those aren't
the chocolate chip cookies
300
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:02,055
I wanted, go back
and get me the right ones."
301
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:07,627
(exhales)
So, uh, yeah. She's great.
302
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:11,231
Well, you go ahead and tell her
that I am way ahead of schedule
303
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,565
and not to worry.
304
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:15,335
Uh, yeah, she's not really
liking me talking right now.
305
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:20,874
-Can you believe that guy?
-Yes. It's like he's
reading my mind.
306
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:24,277
Everything is going wrong.
I'm terrible at this.
307
00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:26,947
Do you want me to paint
a smile on your face?
308
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:31,584
Kyle? What kind
of makeup is this?
309
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,620
Uh, it's whatever they had
at the Dollar Mart.
310
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:36,256
It's not coming off
and it burns.
311
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:40,327
-It was a dollar.
-Oh, my God.
312
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:50,003
-Hey.
-Hi.
313
00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:51,738
You know, when we started
doing this festival,
314
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:52,906
this thing was a guppy.
315
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,674
(chuckles)
316
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:56,343
Ooh, honey,
are you feeling okay?
317
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:59,646
'Cause you look like
you might have a haddock.
318
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,748
I do now.
319
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,985
Hey, everybody.
The boss is here.
320
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,686
-Look busy. Look busy.
-Wait a minute.
321
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,588
Does this mean you're back?
322
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,624
You bet. I'm ready
to pound beers or nails.
323
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:12,692
Used to do both.
324
00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:15,462
Until this little piggy
went to the hospital.
325
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:19,099
Ooh. Ha-ha. Wow,
you convinced my mother to stay.
326
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,700
You really are a good salesman.
327
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:23,770
It goes without saying,
but, uh, thanks for saying it.
328
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,605
Well, it's not quite, Mikey.
329
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,307
See, Bonnie is still going
to the gala,
330
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,976
but she knew it was
very important for me
331
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,510
to be here with
my Outdoor Man family.
332
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,846
Oh?
She really must love you.
333
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,548
How diabolical.
334
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,550
She convinced me
that our young marriage
335
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:39,652
can endure a brief separation.
336
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,321
Okay, well, whatever you guys
decide is fine.
337
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:42,856
So I'll get you a hammer
and a beer.
338
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:44,291
Yeah, just one little thing
339
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,725
that you can do for me,
Mikey, please.
340
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:47,360
-Just name it.
-Yeah?
341
00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:50,230
Convince my wife to stay.
342
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:53,566
I can't be apart from her.
Okay?
343
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:04,144
Hey, Mike Baxter here
for Outdoor Man,
344
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,813
talking about, well,
Outdoor Man.
345
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,848
When this store opened
almost 30 years ago,
346
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:11,751
it was just a simple
bait and tackle shop.
347
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:14,221
I was just a simple
marketing director
348
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:17,057
with rugged good looks.
349
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:20,493
This was a time
when we all had great hair.
350
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,262
I invited hunters to the store;
351
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:24,898
they'd say, "Hey, you only have
fish stuff."
352
00:14:24,932 --> 00:14:27,567
And then the mullet was king.
353
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,236
I'd say, "Thanks, but come in.
354
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,570
We've got something
for everyone here."
355
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:32,672
When they did, they found
hunting jackets,
356
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,874
field gutting gloves,
and T-shirts that read,
357
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:37,744
"Hunters Do It in the Woods."
358
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:41,214
When they saw camo and ammo,
the hunters smiled.
359
00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:42,449
(man whoops)
360
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,517
When I invited campers
to the store, they'd say,
361
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,354
"Nah, you just have fishing
and hunting stuff."
362
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:50,590
At that time
the rattail was king.
363
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,459
I'd say, "Thanks,
but come on by,
364
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,194
we've got something
for everyone."
365
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,430
When they did, they saw tents,
sleeping bags, and T-shirts
366
00:14:57,464 --> 00:15:01,201
that read, "Campers
Do It in the Woods."
367
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:04,371
Oddly enough, they in fact do.
368
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:07,040
Outdoor Man thrives on variety.
369
00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:08,808
When I invited
mountain-climbing vegans,
370
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:12,445
I'd say, "We have boots
made of fake leather."
371
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:15,815
And now the man bun is king.
372
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:17,284
Outdoor Man is more
than a store;
373
00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:18,718
Outdoor Man is a family.
374
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,720
And families welcome
all types of people
375
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,489
with all kinds of hairdos.
376
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:24,924
So I invite everyone
to come by our 25th Annual
377
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:27,894
Big Bass Festival
and meet our family.
378
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,662
You might just find
you're one of us.
379
00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:31,398
My buddy Terry Bradshaw
will be there.
380
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:35,768
He's had the same hairstyle
since 1975.
381
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:40,507
Chrome-Dome Baxter out.
382
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,145
-Hi.
-Hi.
383
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,814
Hi, you are supposed to be
at home taking it easy.
384
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:49,916
Well, when Ryan was here,
he got the idea
385
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,451
that things weren't going
so great.
386
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:55,355
What?
No, I am killing it.
387
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:57,824
So, Ryan was wrong.
388
00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,692
Just like he was wrong
about the cookies. (chuckles)
389
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:02,595
Stupid Ryan!
390
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,464
Are these so hard to find?
391
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,832
Okay.
392
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:08,268
Well, you sound disappointed
that things are going well.
393
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:09,469
I find that odd.
394
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,104
No, it's nothing.
It's just...
395
00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:12,839
I don't want to tell you
396
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:15,142
because it makes me sound
like a terrible person.
397
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:18,378
Okay, well, now I must know.
398
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,947
I've just been sitting at home,
399
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,549
feeling swollen
and uncomfortable
400
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,484
and totally useless,
401
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:27,954
and I thought
if you were struggling,
402
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:31,658
then I could, you know,
step in and feel needed.
403
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:34,527
Okay. Well, good news:
404
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:37,530
I am totally blowing it.
405
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,535
Don't toy with me, Mandy.
406
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:44,003
I'm fragile.
407
00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:46,406
No, no, seriously, okay?
Look at this.
408
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,975
No ponies, no face painter,
I got nothing.
409
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,344
I was this close
to starting a fight club.
410
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,548
Look, let's-let's face it, okay?
411
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,984
I am not the amazing you.
412
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,087
I haven't always been
the amazing me, either.
413
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,688
What do you mean?
414
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:04,524
Dad threatened to fire me
for the first couple of years.
415
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:05,725
There were runaway ponies
416
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:07,927
and dart injuries and...
417
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,996
one year I forgot to rent
the snow cone machine.
418
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,998
Come on, man.
419
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,667
And there was a clown who...
420
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,503
well, legally, he should have
notified us
421
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,571
when he moved
into the neighborhood.
422
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:23,776
Okay, so... what do I do now?
423
00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:25,945
Well, we sit down
and we work through
424
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:27,114
all of this together.
425
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:29,082
-Like sisters.
-Thank you, sister.
426
00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:30,417
(chuckles)
427
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,919
But, um, next year,
I suggest that you get pregnant
428
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,454
and we pawn it off on Eve.
429
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,989
Interesting.
430
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:41,894
MIKE:
Hey, there.
431
00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:43,263
Listen, if you're looking
for the good stuff,
432
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:45,598
it's marked in the bottle
"Not for you, Chuck."
433
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:49,102
(chuckles) Just about
to pour myself a Manhattan.
434
00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:51,104
-Join me.
-Yeah, just a little one.
435
00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:53,106
Okay. A splash.
Here you go.
436
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:55,542
-Thank you. Thank you.
-You're welcome.
437
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:59,045
-So, um, Ed said he's staying
for the festival.
-Yeah.
438
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,747
I was hoping,
uh, you would, too.
439
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,815
Aw. That's very kind of you,
440
00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:07,287
but, um, big butt fish festivals
are not my cup of tea.
441
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,056
That's what I used to say
about in-laws, until I met you.
442
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,458
Oh.
443
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,160
Not the, the big butt part,
that was...
444
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:14,894
(laughs)
445
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,130
So you must really love
that gala in Connecticut.
446
00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:20,567
Oh, I wouldn't say love.
I just, um...
447
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,069
I fit in. You know?
448
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:26,072
Well, I think you could probably
fit in here.
449
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,675
Mmm.
I don't think so, Mike.
450
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:31,411
I'm more champagne and caviar
451
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:36,149
and not "pin the tail
on the walleye."
452
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,185
You know, I think
you just might have invented
453
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,453
a fun new game.
454
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,755
We have caviar here,
you just have to dig it out
455
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,291
of the fish with your finger.
456
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:46,326
(chuckles)
457
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:47,994
I wouldn't have any purpose.
458
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:50,163
I don't want to go
and stand around
459
00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,699
like, uh, Ed's trophy wife.
460
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,267
Nobody's calling you
a trophy wife around here.
461
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:56,536
I know, I'm trying
to get it started.
462
00:18:57,537 --> 00:18:59,339
Look.
463
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:01,040
Let's be honest.
464
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:04,277
Somebody like me is gonna
stick out like a sore thumb
465
00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:06,879
-at this festival.
-Really?
466
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:09,482
What kind of people you think
come to a festival like this?
467
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:12,118
Oh, I don't know,
fishermen, hunters, uh,
468
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,387
people who like dirt?
469
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:17,790
And then the mayor, policemen,
470
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,359
professors, janitors,
471
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:22,329
and, I guess,
people that like dirt.
472
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:23,896
Yeah, those people.
473
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:25,632
What do you think
all these people had in common
474
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,899
before they came
to the festival?
475
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,067
I don't know.
476
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,503
They all thought they would have
nothing in common.
477
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,672
Look, I guarantee
if you give us a chance,
478
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:34,874
you might find
that you do fit in here.
479
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:35,975
(chuckles)
480
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:39,246
That sounds nice--
I mean, fitting in.
481
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:40,647
Fitting in, l-listen.
482
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,649
Why don't you come on downstairs
and meet some of the people
483
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,050
putting together
the, the festival,
484
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:47,086
and I might find, um,
something for you to paint.
485
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:50,557
Oh. Well, I, I'm
a small-brush painter, though,
486
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:51,891
I'm not a big-brush painter.
487
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,593
All the big-brush painting's
been done,
488
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,095
but Mandy has a little struggle
right now
489
00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:58,698
with the-with the fine art
part of this.
490
00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:01,167
Really?
You mean, like still life?
491
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,203
They rarely sit still.
492
00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:05,838
Come on down, and I'll show you.
493
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,374
You might want to down
the rest of that Manhattan.
494
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:08,475
I think you'll need it.
495
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:22,221
Okay! Almost ready.
Almost.
496
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:24,023
Look at her.
She's glowing.
497
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,458
MIKE:
Yeah.
498
00:20:25,492 --> 00:20:27,727
If I haven't said thank you yet,
Mike, thanks.
499
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,262
You actually already have
said that,
500
00:20:29,296 --> 00:20:30,730
so next time you talk
to your doctor,
501
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:31,764
you might want to mention this?
502
00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:37,637
All right.
Prepare to be wowed, everyone.
503
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,205
Looks like you're having a ball.
504
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,640
Oh, I am, I am.
505
00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:44,711
Turns out I'm a Big Ass gal
after all.
506
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,746
Mom.
507
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,214
All right. Now, first up,
508
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:52,885
we have a very traditional
piece... Kyle.
509
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:55,254
-(Mike chuckles)
-VANESSA: Hey, wow.
510
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:57,290
-Nice.
-Wow.
511
00:20:57,324 --> 00:20:59,258
Yeah, now I've been a tiger
and a leopard.
512
00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:02,228
-MIKE: Yep.
-Guess I have the heart
of a predator.
513
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:06,299
In some ways I've always known.
514
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:10,970
And next, we have a tip
of the hat to surrealism.
515
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:12,972
Mandy.
516
00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:14,407
MIKE:
Oh.
517
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,175
VANESSA:
Ooh.
518
00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:19,011
Yeah, I'm so wearing this
to the club tonight.
519
00:21:19,045 --> 00:21:21,247
-Yeah, you look amazing.
-Yeah.
520
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,249
-Yeah, what, uh, what is she?
-What is that?
521
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,284
-I'm an antelope.
-MIKE: Oh, boy.
522
00:21:25,318 --> 00:21:26,786
-Uh-oh.
-You...
523
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:29,656
Kyle?
Kyle?!
524
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:34,494
Bonnie, for the kids,
let's just stay away
525
00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:37,229
from predator and prey.
526
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:40,266
(chicken clucks)
527
00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,068
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
39131
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