Original subtitles

Announcer: Welcome to Just Roll With It!

♪ ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

Suzi: Come on in, you guys.

(cheering)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

(audience cheering)

Whoo!

Welcome to Just Roll With It!

When you hear this sound...

(foghorn blasts)

The audience gets to vote on what happens to us in scenes!

Ramon: Yeah!

I feel like we've grown so much since we started this show.

For example, I now wear goggles

every time I open up a box.

When I hear a foghorn,

I go into the fetal position and scream.

I wake up in the middle of the night

weeping for no reason.

But, for the time being,

we are contractually obligated to...

All: Just roll with it!

‐(audience cheering) ‐ ♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

Rachel: Okay.

Time for a fun family boat day.

Yay! Floating around under a bunch of birds

looking for a place to take a bowel movement.

Fun!

That's the spirit!

Ahoy, fam! Welcome aboard.

Family: Ahhhh!

Gator, what happened to you?

Well, when you don't have a positive male role model in your life,

you end up seeking it out from people who don't deserve‐‐

Byron: No!

Your face, dude.

Oh, right!

I accidentally took a ten‐hour nap on the deck.

(chuckling)

(laughs) Gator, how did you come up with your boat's name?

That's hilarious!

That's not the boat's name, honey, that's graffiti.

And I don't want you ever saying that word.

A few quick rules before we set sail:

life preservers must be worn at all times,

no running on the deck,

and keep your voices down.

I don't want to disturb the Lake Erie monsters

from their watery slumber.

Lake Erie monsters?

Well, you kids have heard of Garbage Pete before, right?

Tell me you've heard of Titan, the red ink squid.

Have your parents never told you

the tale of Gustavo the Giant Clam?!

That's another reason why you should wear sunscreen.

The UV rays do a number on the ol' brain box.

Today is gonna be great!

(inhales)

I would've loved to have done stuff like this when I was a kid

but my dad's idea of quality time was

taking me to the park to yell at hippies.

Now, that sounds fun!

Let's go yell at some dirty hippies!

Or how about a mother‐daughter fishing lesson instead? Huh?

Hard pass.

I'm just going to sit here with my eyes closed

and imagine all the TV shows I'm missing.

Owen, you like boring stuff!

‐Ah, that I do. ‐Great!

Let me show you how to stick a hook

through a worm's head or butt.

Sorry, I've got my whole day planned out.

Last week when half of our school fell into that sinkhole,

we were all feeling pretty down.

Speak for yourself.

I was so happy, I might name my first child "Sinkhole."

Anyway, when they announced that school would be closed

for three weeks while they do repairs,

I was nearly catatonic.

No one knows what catatonic means.

Owen, stop bullying your sister.

Use normal words.

(sighs) I was very sad.

But then I realized, even though the school is temporarily closed,

my mind can still be open for business.

I got the next three months of homework off of the dark web.

Gonna sit here with this super‐food

beet and ginseng smoothie

and have a relaxing cram session.

Oh, if you hear me giggling to myself over there,

it's because getting smarter tickles. (giggling)

Guys, I don't want you sulking or learning.

This is a family bonding day.

What's up, my Byro‐maniacs?

Just out here yachtin' it up with the kids and wifey.

You know how we do!

(laughing) Yeah, I can't believe this is my life!

Just goes to show you that the universe gives back what you put out there.

Hashtag self‐care. Hashtag family love!

Byron! Put that dumb phone down. What are you doing?

I'm trying to get my social media numbers up.

I just found out DJ Dirty Dan has more followers than me.

Ooh, is it because he beat you at the Akron Radio Awards?

Nah, it's probably 'cause he beat us on Family Squabbles .

Kids, stop it.

It's because his show beats Byron every week in the ratings.

Ha‐ha. All that ends now, because I talked to my sister‐‐

ALL: The marketing guru.

She is!

She's one of the most sought‐after experts on social media branding.

And she says if I want to get my followers up, I have to post‐‐

(foghorn blasts)

(audience cheering)

(Byron laughing)

Announcer: It's time to vote!

What sort of challenge should Byron do?

‐Someone's about to get their followers up! ‐(Tobie laughing)

Go big or go home, baby!

You are home, but you get it.

Announcer: Now back to the scene...

Stage Manager: Action!

My sister is one of the most sought‐after experts

on social media branding.

And she says if I want to get my followers up,

I have to take the "Armpit or Fish Challenge."

‐(Byron laughing) ‐(audience cheering)

I will put on a blindfold and decide whether I'm smelling

a fish or a random sweaty dude's armpit.

‐(all laughing) ‐(audience cheering)

Rachel: I can get behind this, I can get behind this.

You must be real desperate for those likes, Byron.

I'll do anything for 'em, baby.

‐Yeah, clearly. ‐Let's go. Thank you.

I don't wanna mess up your hat,

or your followers might not like you.

‐Byron: Let's go. ‐Okay, I'm gonna help facilitate this

for your Byro‐maniacs.

Yeah, this is for my followers! I love my Byro‐maniacs!

‐Byron: What's up? ‐(audience cheering)

‐All right, I'm gonna bring you something... ‐Byron: Okay.

...that is either a sweaty armpit or a fish, okay?

‐All right, gotcha. ‐I'm gonna step you a little closer to it.

‐That was kind of scary. ‐Let me take your hat off, all right.

‐Okay. ‐You can start smelling starting now, but...

(audience groaning)

Ahhhhhh! What is that? That's a dude!

I got an armpit hair in my nose!

Byron: Oh my gosh! Oh!

‐(clears throat) Okay. ‐Okay.

‐You got another one? ‐(audience groans)

Uh‐oh. That sounds like it's going to be bad.

All right, come a little closer.

‐Thank you. ‐Like towards me. Just inch towards me.

(indistinct shouting)

Hey! What is that? What is that?

‐What is that? ‐You gotta smell it.

Okay. That's‐‐ that's a fish!

I know that's a fish!

Or a dude with scaly armpits.

(Byron laughing)

Okay, so the third one's gonna be

a little more challenging, okay?

Byron: Okay, okay.

‐(audience shouting) ‐Byron: Ohhhhhh!

(Byron shouting indistinctly)

‐Okay, okay. ‐You got this, baby.

This is for followers, right?

Yeah, to get my followers up. Get my followers up!

Rachel: Take a big whiff.

‐(audience groaning) ‐Ugggghhhhhh!

What is that? What is that?

What is that?! What is that?!

That's a fishy‐‐ that's a fishy dude!

(audience cheering)

Byron: Everybody follow me!

I'm way better than DJ Dirty Dan!

Ayyyy! (laughing)

(audience cheering)

Give it up for them!

I don't know where they came from.

(audience cheering)

Byron, you can't keep letting your sister tell you what to do!

I'm the only one who gets to tell you what to do.

Well, technically, as the captain of this ship,

I get to tell people what to‐‐

Gator, untie us from the dock. We're shippin' out.

Aye‐aye, Captain!

Okay, time for some forced family bonding.

The wind in our sails, the sea breeze in our lungs.

Nothing is gonna stop me from having fun!

‐(waves crashing) ‐(buoy bell ringing)

(moaning) Still having fun.

(grunting) Just a minor setback.

Byron, can you hand me another bucket?

Comin' back at ya, Byro‐maniacs.

Just a little update on the wifey.

She filled up another bucket.

It smells really nasty in here.

Hold on, let me try and find a puke emoji.

Byron, are you seriously live streaming right now?

‐My sister says‐‐ ‐I don't care what your sister says.

Now, let's put that thing away and go back up on deck.

I think the worst is behiiiii‐‐

It's not behind me.

(moaning, crying)

Hey Rachel, what you doing with my pee buckets?

Ahhhhhhh! Gator!

Okay, this has been a disaster.

We're officially not a boat family.

I'm heading up to turn this barf barge around.

With any luck, we can make it home

just in time to do nothing.

Oh, no you don't!

Blair, stop it! We're not going home.

We are making beautiful family me‐‐

me‐hem... ories.

When I was a little girl‐‐

We get it!

Your dad ruined your life, so now you want to ruin ours.

But you can break the cycle, Mom.

You can break the cycle.

We are having fun!

No one's having fun!

Guys, that's not good for the sail.

Face it, Mom. No one wants to be here.

I want to be here!

‐(mast cracking) ‐(everyone shouting)

Gator: Mr. Sail!

No!

I wasn't recording! Can we do that again?

(audience cheering)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Gator, how could your mast just snap off like that?

It's an old boat.

Plus the guy who sold it to me

told me it had a termite problem.

But that was years ago!

And I assumed it had run its course by now.

Now we're stuck out here.

This is the worst thing that has ever happened to us.

Oh please, we've been in way worse situations than this.

(foghorn blasts)

(audience cheering)

You said it! You said it!

Announcer: Okay, audience!

What worse situation was Rachel talking about?

Sometimes when I hit hard times, I just try to stay afloat.

‐(spits) ‐(Kaylin laughs)

Announcer: Okay, that's it! Votes are in!

Let's go back to the scene...

Stage Manager: Action!

Please, we've been in way worse situations than this.

Looks like somebody left us a big gift.

Let's‐‐ let's open it.

Should we be concerned that someone got into our house?

Rachel: All right!

I've always wanted one of these!

Byron (reading): "Hey there, Beatz 101 fam!

It's your mortal frenemy DJ Dirty Dan."

‐Rachel/Owen: Oh. ‐(Byron laughing)

"I wanted to make amends by sending you over this gift.

But put on these goggles and shower caps before you enjoy it."

(Byron laughing)

Uh, actually, I have a good feeling about this.

Maybe DJ Dirty Dan's not so dirty after all.

‐Owen: Maybe. ‐I like your optimism.

‐(beeping) ‐Owen: Uh‐oh.

Wait. It sounds like it's counting down.

We should probably cut these wires, you guys.

Maybe it's a good beeping.

Maybe it's a good beeping?

Maybe this is a giant pager, you're right, um...

I'm cutting my wire, okay?

Here I go.

(audience groans)

(family screams)

‐Rachel: Okay! ‐Byron: Whoa!

‐Rachel: All right. ‐See, that wasn't bad!

‐(audience cheering) ‐It's like a party!

Uh, okay, okay, okay.

Let me‐‐ I got you. Let's go back right here. Come on.

Pull it out. Put your hands on there. Let's go. Let's do it together.

Ahhhhh!

(family screaming)

(Byron laughing)

See, look. It's marshmallows!

That's nice!

Free snacks! Okay.

‐I want to eat it. ‐Yeah, go for it! They're good, they're good.

Rachel: You gonna cut your wire?

‐Yeah, I'm gonna cut my wire. ‐Okay.

Owen: Okay.

(audience screams)

‐Popcorn! All right! ‐Rachel: Not so bad!

‐What's this? ‐Blair: Okay.

Ahhhh! There's no butter!

What a monster!

I got a good feeling about this, like‐‐

I'm gonna cut my wire right now.

Rachel: I respect you, babe. I respect you.

(family shrieks)

(audience cheering)

(family laughing)

So, uh, Dad, you feeling good about this now?

‐(alarm blaring) ‐Ahhhh!

Rachel: Okay! Okay, Byron.

Okay!

(laughing)

Why is it always goo?

Why is it always goo?

Actually, no, this one's the worst.

Fear not, fam! The boat's got a motor.

All I gotta do is turn it on.

(motor sputtering)

Huh, engine's not working.

Maybe the motor oil's gone bad.

This isn't motor oil at all!

Gator, what if it had been?

Tastes like a...

super‐food beet and...

...ginseng smoothie!

(chuckles) Oh, actually, about that...

I can explain.

I was really deep in the groove on an intense study sesh.

I'm talking speed tests, reading comp quizzes, SAT prep.

Suddenly, I found myself face‐to‐face

with a twelfth grade calculus question.

First I got scared, but then the rush kicked in.

I fired up my graphing calculator

and said "Buckle up, big boy, we're going on a‐‐"

Owen, get on with the story!

I accidentally knocked my smoothie into the engine.

(everyone groaning)

No! You're supposed to be the smart one!

I'll go try and radio for help.

Byron, I've seen how this storybook ends.

We're rudderless, adrift, at the mercy of the currents now.

And Neptune is a vengeful god.

We need to make some uncomfortable decisions here.

What are you talking about?

(whispers): A sacrifice.

We've gotta throw someone overboard.

It's the only way to get back in the good graces of Mother Ocean.

Blair, I'm not throwing my wife or son overboard.

What about Gator?

We'll see how he does with the radio.

‐(radio static) ‐Mayday! S. O. S.!

We're a boat adrift in the middle of Lake Erie,

and I'm super freaked out 'cause it's monster season.

Can anybody hear me?

‐(engine approaching) ‐What's that?

It's a speedboat!

Owen: We're saved!

Byron: DJ Dirty Dan!

Of all the Great Lakes in all the world,

you had to motor into mine.

Well, well, well. If it isn't my arch nemesis‐‐

who I don't actually consider a nemesis at all

because I beat him at Family Squabbles

and every week in the ratings.

Oh, and don't forget the Akron Radio Awards.

‐I love you so much! ‐(both grunting)

Just keep boating, DJ Dirty Dan.

No, don't keep boating. We need your help.

Oh yeah, I noticed that your mast had broken in half.

Why'd you do that?

We're not good at boats.

Can you tow us back to shore?

Sure thing.

I've got all the equipment necessary

to get you guys safely back to dry land.

Let me just get some video of this, though.

I'm sure all my adoring fans would love to see me save

a fellow DJ who's in such a ridiculously hopeless state.

Oh, don't worry, Byron, I'll tag you in this.

What up, Dirt Nation‐‐

You get on out of here, DJ Dirty Dan!

Go on now! Git!

We don't need you or your lifesaving help!

We'll be just fine! Mmm‐mmm, mmm‐mmm.

Suit yourself.

C'mon, Cheyanne, let's go have fun in our working boat.

‐I love you so much! ‐I love you so much!

(both grunting)

(audience cheering)

Byron! What is wrong with you?

What is wrong with me? You broke the mast!

Excuse me? Blair and I both broke the mast.

Oh sure, blame me.

None of us would even be on this dumb boat

if you weren't trying to make us do the things‐‐

'cause your dad didn't‐‐

so you're just trying‐‐

Owen, what am I trying to say?

Living your childhood vicariously through us.

Yeah! That!

Listen, let's not point fingers here.

You are all equally to blame for the situation we're in.

‐Seriously? ‐You broke the engine!

‐(indistinct shouting) ‐(feedback squawks)

Gator: Everyone, quiet! The radio! It's working!

Man (on radio): A weather advisory for the Lake Erie region.

All boats should immediately

return to shore and find safety.

Repeat, there is a violent freak storm

the likes of which have never been seen

‐ heading towards the Lake Erie region. ‐(thunder crashing)

DJ Dirty Dan, come back! I changed my mind!

(thunder crashing)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

This storm looks pretty bad!

We're gonna have to wait it out in here.

Hey Mom...

Huh?

(radio static)

No, Blair, we are not throwing Owen overboard.

Owen: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Man (on radio): Update on the violent freak storm,

the likes of which have never been seen over Lake Erie.

(foghorn blasts)

‐Byron: That was quick! ‐Rachel: That was so fast!

‐(audience cheering) ‐That was like right on it.

Announcer: It's the last vote!

What monster is coming for the family?

Someone in the audience was like, "Ohhhhhhhh!"

Stage Manager: You will start the scene on radio voice's new line, okay?

Announcer: And let's go back to the scene.

Stage Manager: Action!

Man (on radio): Update on the violent freak storm,

the likes of which have never been seen over Lake Erie.

We're getting another distressing bulletin

that Titan, the fabled Red Ink Squid,

has been awoken.

‐(audience cheering) ‐Owen: Oh, god!

Man (on radio): Awoken from its decades‐long slumber

and is now looking for a small, powerless watercraft

to swallow whole.

‐ So, be careful out there! ‐Swallow whole?

‐Rachel: Swallow‐‐ ‐Let's all get together, guys.

‐Let's get in a group hug. ‐Owen: I didn't even know squids have mouths.

‐You guys, this is still a bonding moment. ‐(wood splintering)

(family shrieks)

‐Rachel: Ugh! ‐Byron: Shrimp.

Well, that's some serious squid barf.

(family screaming)

Byron: Wh‐‐ what is that?

Owen: That's a squid‐‐

(family screaming)

(family shrieks)

Owen: Oh, gosh! I know how Titan got her name!

Rachel: Whoo!

Whoo!

(family screaming)

Don't worry, family! I'll save you!

‐Rachel: Gator! ‐Blair: No, Gator!

‐Gator: Watch out! ‐(squid roaring)

Rachel: Gator!

(family screaming)

I want to live!

Guys! I'm sorry!

This is all my fault!

No, I was wrong!

I got too wrapped up in my rivalry with DJ Dirty Dan.

No, I was wrong. I'm the one who broke the engine.

Guys, I hate to say this, but...

I was right! We should've stayed home!

I mean...

Rachel: I love you guys!

All: I love you, too!

‐(thunder crashing) ‐(family screaming)

I have something else I need to tell you guys.

‐Rachel: Me too. ‐(foghorn blasts)

(audience cheering)

What?!

Blair: Another?

Announcer: Okay! It's a surprise fourth vote!

And you the audience get to decide

what happens in the next episode!

How are they gonna top all that goo?

Rachel will be cued to read a line off of a new cue card.

Announcer: And let's go back to the scene.

Stage Manager: Action!

I have something else I need to tell you guys.

Me too.

The reason it was so important for me

to try to have this fun, family outing

is because starting tomorrow,

it's not just gonna be the four of us anymore.

My cranky, drill sergeant father is coming to live with us.

(audience cheering)

So, like, we're getting another cast member?

‐(audience cheering) ‐Is that‐‐ is that what's happening?

I guess that's what the audience wanted!

Byron: Hey!

Both: To be continued!

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪