Original subtitles

Tobie: Welcome to Just Roll With It!

(theme music playing)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

(kids cheering)

♪ ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ ♪

(bell rings)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

(audience cheering)

Suzi: Whoo!

Kaylin: Welcome to Just Roll With It!

Whoo!

(audience cheering)

Okay, let's start the show!

Whoa, Kaylin, where are you going?

We haven't explained the rules.

If they don't know the rules, then they can't vote‐‐

And that means we won't get messy.

‐There we go. ‐Wait! Wait!

Nice try, kids.

But if we don't explain the rules,

the implants in our necks will explode.

(audience laughs)

Oh.

Uh, right. I forgot about those.

When you hear this sound...

(foghorn blasts)

You'll get to vote, and we'll have to...

All: Just Roll With It!

(audience cheering)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ ♪

Okay, troops. Bad news.

The snow's not letting up,

and it looks like the power's out for the whole city.

We're stuck here for the night.

(everyone groaning)

My phone's at one percent. It's about to die.

Stay with me, buddy.

Don't leave me alone with my family!

This is horrible. School will be closed tomorrow.

That's eight hours of education I'll never get back!

(scoffs)

What's the point of having the stupid school canceled

by the stupid snow if the stupid TV doesn't work?

Well, when I was little‐‐

We know! People ate rocks

and you could buy a horse for a dollar.

No.

We used to tell stories to pass the time.

‐So, you'd just say words? ‐Yeah.

‐Out loud? ‐Uh‐huh.

‐At each other? ‐Yep.

Like some kind of human podcast?

Ooh! What a swell idea!

I can read from the fantasy novel I've been working on.

It's titled The Dragon Conundrum.

You'll have to excuse the prose.

Some of it is in a language I made up called "O‐ish."

(clears throat)

O‐yay, O‐yay, 'twas the eve of fixteenth‐giving,

and all the zolywogs of Higglesby Hollow

were raising a glass of higglesnog‐‐

That's it! I'm goin' outside to freeze to death.

Bury me with all my stuff.

No! No, no.

No one is freezing to death today.

But since the power's out,

why don't we tell scary stories?

(chuckles) Dad doesn't do so well with the scary.

Nah, I'm cool.

I'll go first.

This one's about someone who came down

with the worst sickness I can think of.

It's called, The Horkening.

Muah‐ha‐ha...

(foghorn blasts)

‐(audience cheering) ‐Ramon: Oh my gosh!

Announcer: Okay, audience!

You see your choices: one, two, or three.

You vote on who gets The Horkening.

Kaylin: I'm gonna be a target. Absolutely me.

It's my fantasy story, so it's probably me.

Announcer: Okay, that's it. Votes are in!

The scene you rehearsed all week is completely gone.

Blair, you are the narrator,

and you'll be sitting in the chair opposite the set...

‐Ramon: Oh, no way! ‐Stage Manager: ...reading into the microphone.

The Horkening!

‐Muah‐ha‐ha... ‐Announcer: And let's go back to the scene.

(audience cheering)

Director: Action!

Blair: One day in a bedroom far, far away,

a woman became very ill.

‐Byron: How you feeling? ‐Sick.

‐Byron: Okay. ‐(coughs)

‐(cheering) ‐Blair: And the woman just became more ill,

delirious even,

and started thinking her arms were snakes.

(laughs)

‐Rachel: Aah! ‐Owen: Uh...

Aah! Snakes are my least favorite animal!

Blair: Now even more worried,

the husband decided to call the local doctor

with the phone they had in the nightstand.

Not the dresser. I said the nightstand.

(indistinct chatter)

Blair: That's when strange things began to happen.

‐(pops) ‐(shrieks)

Blair: Then, they called the local doctor...

I need you to come over right now.

‐(screams) ‐Oh, shoot!

Blair: ...who showed up in record time.

I showed up here in record time.

Through charades,

the sick woman tried to explain her symptoms to the doctor.

No. Sounds like...

‐Doctor: Uh... ‐Byron: Grab it.

Fork. Fork!

Ho‐ho‐hor... hork!

Hork! Aha!

This woman has...

the horkening!

(dramatic musical sting plays)

(thunder crashes)

Blair: Upon hearing the news, the son fainted.

‐(body thuds) ‐(glass shatters)

‐Rachel: My son! ‐Byron: You okay, son?

Blair: And the husband wailed in agony.

(wailing): Why?

Why?!

Blair: The husband then insisted

on giving the doctor a piggyback ride.

Wait a minute. What? Say that again. What?

Then insisted on giving the doctor a piggyback ride.

Doctor, get on my back!

‐I do piggyback rides. ‐Wee!

Wee!

(audience cheer)

Doctor: This is the best day of my life!

Blair: The doctor then began treating the woman,

summoning the illness within her

with a chant the husband and the son came up with.

(chanting): Come on out of there!

All (chanting): Come on out of there! Come on out of there!

Blair: Suddenly, the woman sat up.

The chanting had awoken something within the woman.

‐Rachel: Uh‐oh. ‐Blair: She had gained superpowers!

The room began to shake.

‐(rumbling) ‐(yelping)

Whoa! Help!

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa‐oh‐oh!

This doesn't seem normal, does it?

Blair: All that shaking wasn't good for the woman.

She grabbed her stomach in pain.

‐Aah! ‐Blair: She was going to hork all over the room!

Oh! Uh‐oh!

Both: Oh, a nozzle!

Sh‐Should we have goggles?

Blair: The husband went to plead with the doctor

to cure his wife.

Doctor, fix this!

Please, doctor, help my wife!

But little did he know

that the doctor had also caught the horkening.

Oh, for real?

Oh boy, I think I'm gonna hork!

Uh... uh...

(screaming)

(screaming)

Whoa!

‐Blair: But the doctor wasn't quite finished. ‐Huh?

He had eaten a big lunch.

(screaming) I'm going to be sick!

Blair: The doctor's assistant ran in to help.

But when he saw the hork all over the place,

‐ it made him hork, too! ‐(Owen shouts)

Blair: Then, the doctor and the assistant just kept horking

all over the poor father!

One after the other, over and over,

they just kept horking and horking and horking.

The end.

(cheering)

I don't like this story, Blair!

♪ ♪

(giggling)

Kaylin: Good job, Tobie! That was so fun!

♪ ♪

The end.

Boom! And that is how you tell a scary story.

What do you mean? That didn't scare anybody.

Well, speak for yourself.

It was just a story. It was just a story.

Dad doesn't count. Everything scares him.

Dad, there's nothing behind you!

Where?!

Well...

Looks like it's Mom's turn to tell a story‐‐

I've got a story

that is sure to tickle your scared‐y bones.

Or Owen could interrupt me like I'm not even here‐‐

It's called...

The Horror Day Inn.

Owen: One dark and spooky night,

an unsuspecting mother and daughter

were on a road trip when their car broke down.

The little girl was very nervous to enter,

because she scared much too easily.

Puh‐lease.

I do not scare easily.

Owen: Well, it's my story, and your character does.

(flatly): Fine. I'm so scared.

Owen: The mother and daughter took in their unsettling surroundings.

These surroundings sure are unsettling.

Hello? Does anyone work here?

If you don't respond within ten seconds,

I'm gonna start swiping anything that ain't bolted down.

‐(bell ringing) ‐(shrieks)

Hello and welcome.

My name is Mr. Creepers.

Everyone who stays at my quaint inn must sign the guestbook.

Okay, I'll give this a look‐see.

"William F. Buckleberry,

If you're reading this, it's already too late..."?

Well, that's sinister.

"Also, the towels weren't soft

and they charged my room for a movie I didn't order."

Well, that's just bad business.

Nonsense!

Oh, what are those? They look interesting.

Oh, this is my one‐of‐a‐kind, irreplaceable,

bobblehead collection. No touchy!

Why do they all look so scared?

Blair: William F. Buckleberry?

Oh my gosh, that's‐‐!

(gasps) The name from the guestbook!

‐(dramatic musical sting plays) ‐(thunder crashing)

Owen: Mother and daughter were putting together

a key detail the narrator had cleverly slipped in.

For he was a masterful storyteller, a true wordsmith‐‐

Owen, get to the point!

Owen: The point is, Mr. Creepers turned all of his guests into

‐ bobbleheads! ‐(thunder crashing)

That's it? Why?

How do you say "this is lame" in O‐ish?

All I want to know is, how do we check out?

Check out?

(laughs maniacally)

I'm afraid the checkout time of this inn is... never!

For I am an insane innkeeper!

‐(laughing maniacally) ‐(thunder crashing)

‐(foghorn blasts) ‐(audience cheering)

Yeah!

Announcer: Okay, audience!

You choose how Rachel and Blair escape the inn.

I'm in on this one.

There's three doors on stage.

‐Something is lurking inside those doors. ‐Announcer: Votes are in!

Owen, you're gonna read from cue cards.

We'll start the stunt from Mr. Creepers' new line.

Announcer: Now back to the scene...

Director: Action!

Since I am an insane innkeeper,

I'll give you just one chance to escape

my Horror Day Inn.

You must dig through what I have deemed

a barrel of s‐s‐s‐s‐snakes!

‐(bell dings) ‐(audience cheering)

There is a key inside,

you must find it to win your freedom.

Dig in.

‐Rachel: Okay. ‐(Blair shrieks)

So gross!

Rachel: Uh, can you give us a hint about like where this key is?

‐Under the snakes. ‐Yeah, great. We got that.

Ah‐ah! Aha! Aha!

(squealing)

(audience cheering)

The mother and daughter had found the key.

You will have to choose which is the right door.

(singsongy): I know which one it is! I know which one it is!

Rachel: It's really hard to open.

(screaming)

Mr. Creepers: Oh, snap!

That's right, dummies. Wrong door!

That's not the way out! I'm insane!

High‐five, me.

(audience cheering)

Rachel: I gonna pick door number two.

There's nothing! Are you kidding me?

‐Ugh. ‐Rachel: All right.

‐What's in there, Mom? ‐All right. I don't know.

I'm looking...

There's literally nothing in here.

‐(screaming) ‐No! No! No!

In your face!

She just got sucked into a black void.

Where'd it take her? Beats me.

I'm crazy!

Get out of the way! I'm doing door number three!

Owen: Finally, there was one door left,

and only one person left to open it,

the little girl.

(screaming): Oh my‐‐ Okay!

Blair: Shark!

(screaming)

Hey Brayden, get out here, dude!

‐(dance music playing) ‐Whoa! Glow sticks!

We totally vanished

that little girl and that bigger girl!

And now they're bobbleheads!

Being an innkeeper is insane!

(cackling maniacally)

‐(thunder crashing) ‐Owen: That's right.

They became bobbleheads for all of eternity!

Muah‐ha‐ha...

Mr. Creepers: Let's beat‐box.

(audience cheering, applauding)

(kids screaming, laughing)

(alien screaming)

♪ ♪

The end.

Owen, that story wasn't scary at all.

Even Byron was fine.

Yeah, you're gonna have to work a lot harder if you're gonna scare me.

‐Gator: We're doomed! ‐(screaming)

(Byron shrieking)

Gator, you scared us to death!

Gator: I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here.

I just come here at night sometimes

to think about stuff and scream.

How did you even get here in this blizzard?

Ah, it started out like any other ordinary

devastatingly violent blizzard.

I opened up the top of my yard boat to empty my urine jug

when the brake dislodged.

All of a sudden, I'm sliding down State Street.

So I grab the rudder,

but the old girl's picking up speed‐‐

15 knots, 25!

So, I pulled her hard to starboard,

sending her into a mighty skid!

And then there was a horrific crash,

and I looked up to see the boat had collided

into the side of the city's main electric tower.

Now that's how you tell a story!

Wait, you crashed your boat into the city's electric tower?

Oh yeah, whole grid's on fire.

Looks pretty cool. Probably gonna cost millions.

So, you're the reason the power is out!

Yep! Came here to lay low.

The boat's in my brother's name,

so I guess I'm gonna let him deal with that.

Good luck, Jason.

We don't care about your family's nautical drama!

Just tell us another story!

And make it scary!

Gator: Scary? Okay, I've got one.

It's called The Art of Darkness.

Gator: It was the night of the big fancy‐pants art show.

Hello and welcome to the big fancy‐pants art show.

Gator: A man and his family had just

pulled over to use the restroom,

because they had stopped at a gas station

and the father had purchased three‐for‐one bean burritos.

Oh, um...

Excuse me, fine sir.

Can you point me to the nearest can?

I am, like, sweating.

Ooh, rich people food! Kids, you know the drill.

Ahem! This spread is only for the patrons of the gallery.

Show it to me in writing.

And stop blockin' the quiche, slim.

How dare you!

For I am renowned regional artist Meriwether Slayington!

Huh?

I just did my business in what I thought was a toilet,

but turned out to be a very fancy art installation.

So we gotta bounce now before someone notices and‐‐

Woman (shrieks): My art!

Somebody has desecrated it!

So, do you validate?

Validate? An artist does not validate parking.

Unless, of course, you'd be willing to make a purchase?

Because in that case the gallery does validate parking.

Oh okay, let me see what we got here.

Uh, what sort of fine art can I get for five bucks, two buttons,

and a couple of flamin' sauce packets from Hurricane Cantina?

Gator: In that moment, Meriwether Slayington got an idea,

a horrible idea,

A no‐good, horrible, wonderful idea!

You know, I love it when families come in off the street

to use the restroom and not purchase anything.

So much so, I would love to show you my latest work.

If there's more of this dip stuff involved, I'm all in.

Behold!

My never‐before‐seen Cursed Paintings Collection!

‐(foghorn blasts) ‐(audience cheering)

Announcer: Last vote, audience!

You get to choose what cursed realm

the family is sent to.

Something's in that painting.

I'm in on this one, and it's gonna be so much fun.

It's gonna be crazy!

During the stunt,

the family's gonna be in complete darkness.

They're not gonna be able to see an inch away from their faces.

But we're gonna be able to see everything

thanks to infrared cameras.

It's gonna be hilarious. I can't wait!

Announcer: Votes are in!

The rest of the scene is out.

‐Ha! ‐The scene will start with a new line.

"Behold my never‐before‐seen collection!"

Announcer: And let's go back to the scene.

Director: Action!

Behold! My Never‐Before‐Seen Collection!

You are now the subjects!

‐Rachel: Wow! ‐(audience cheering)

‐(Byron chuckling) ‐What a good‐looking family!

‐Rachel: Yeah! ‐(Byron chuckles)

‐Who is that in the front? ‐I don't know.

He's good‐looking!

With the help of my cursed paints,

I have extracted your souls.

Now you must enter the haunted house to retrieve them.

‐(audience cheering) ‐(dramatic musical sting plays)

(screams)

I'm gonna charge you for that!

Upon entering, Slayington sealed them inside,

trapping them with the evil ghost!

Byron: Evil ghost? What are you talking about?

Owen: What evil ghost?

Just as the ghost neared them,

a runaway boat across town wiped out the power grid.

(screaming)

And remember, while we can see their tortured journey,

they were in complete darkness and couldn't see anything.

(Gator laughing creepily)

I cannot see anything,

but I'm keeping my hand on you, Owen.

‐Yeah, don't let go. ‐Lock arms.

Gator: The family was too scared to move,

but they could feel the ghost's icy presence,

her rancid breath stinging their nostrils.

That stank, that stank.

Blair: That's so gross!

This ghost has terrible hygiene!

Oh my gosh!

Oh, no! Aah! Something grabbed me!

Gator: They soon stumbled into a spider's nest!

(screaming)

As they struggled to free themselves from the webs,

an army of ghost‐spiders descended on them!

‐Rachel: No, no, no, no! ‐(screaming)

I feel it! I feel it!

This haunted house could really use a haunted housekeeper.

At that very moment,

someone staying on the haunted floor above them

threw out their bath water!

‐Rachel: What? ‐Owen: What?

(screaming)

They missed me! (laughs)

Gator: Then, they panicked...

(air horn blaring)

...at the disco!

(funky music playing)

(audience cheering)

‐Rachel: It did miss you! ‐(Byron laughing)

And it was only then that they learned

the true meaning of friendship.

And then they all died.

The end. Amen.

(audience cheering)

‐What are you talking about? ‐That ending made zero sense!

I'm gonna level with you. I kinda forgot how it ends.

I'm sorry, I figured it would come to me eventually,

but then it never did.

Here, let me start over.

(others groan)

It was the night of the big‐‐

‐Byron: Oh! ‐(audience cheering)

Thank goodness!

Electricity, we missed you so much!

We can charge our phones now!

Okay, well, since it'll take a few minutes,

for your phones to reboot,

we can finally listen to one of Mom's tales!

And that's our show!

‐(audience cheering) ‐Ramon: You guys have been a great crowd!

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

(theme music playing)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

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