Original subtitles

Tobie: Welcome to Just Roll With It!

(theme music playing)

(kids cheering)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

‐"Just Roll With It"! ‐"Just Roll With It"!

‐(bell ringing) ‐(kids cheering)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

(audience cheering)

(all cheering)

Welcome to "Just Roll With It"!

(audience cheering)

The show that is totally scripted with no surprises.

Yes, exactly! Except, the opposite.

When you hear this sound:

(foghorn blares)

You get to vote on what happens to us in scenes.

(audience cheering)

And we'll have to:

All: "Just Roll With It"!

‐Tobie: Let's start the show! ‐(audience cheering)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪♪

Okay, this old roll‐away bed from the attic

should do the trick.

Just open it up, brush off the dead spiders.

Can't Owen sleep in your room? Or in the garage?

Or I hear the street is quite nice this time of year.

Calm down. It's just for a couple of days

while The Gator's staying in your brother's room.

I still don't understand

why The Gator can't stay in a hotel.

You know how much you pay him.

Oh, right.

(chuckling)

Ooh, this is gonna be so much fun!

It's like sleep‐away camp, but indoors, and maybe forever!

Anyway, thanks again! Yay!

Come on, he's going through a tough time right now.

He and his mom got in a fight

and she kicked him out of the house.

Well, actually she kicked him out of the boat

that he lives on in her driveway.

That sounds like other people's problems.

How did other people's problems

suddenly become our family's problem?

Because three out of the four people in this family

are good people.

Besides, he won't be here long.

I'm sure I'll be able to smooth things over with Gator and his mom.

I bring people together.

I'm basically a relationship guru.

(chuckles)

Sorry.

(continues chuckling)

‐(door slams) ‐The Gator's gotta go.

He'll be gone before you know it.

Byron, you have to understand.

I've been an only child for most of my life.

I'm not good at sharing. That's just my truth.

Well, here's my truth.

You and your brother are roommates for a little while. So...

You better find a way to compromise.

It's not really a big deal.

Hey, there, roomie. Which side of the place is mine?

Let's get something straight. We are not roommates.

This room is my kingdom. And while you are here,

you will live under my law.

Hey, I took one for the team

by giving my kingdom to The Gator.

I'm lucky I got out of there with my favorite pillow.

So this land is now equally ours.

Hey, Owen?

I have what doctors refer to as a big old melon.

And I don't think the pillow you left me is up to the task.

Thanks, buddy.

(door closes)

Wait a minute. Are you leaving the window open?

Yeah. I like the breeze.

Well, I can't sleep like that. I could catch a cold.

Or get bitten by night beavers.

Too bad that the window is part of

The United States of A‐Blair‐ica.

Where we believe in life, liberty,

and the pursuit of open windows.

(beeping)

Ugh! I was afraid this is how nerds sleep.

You've got to be kidding me.

This is a humidifier to make sure the room doesn't get too dry,

and this is a dehumidifier to make sure the humidifier

doesn't make the room too moist.

Owen, I'm never going to be able to sleep

with all of this noise going on.

Well, how are we gonna settle this?

‐(foghorn blares) ‐I knew it!

‐(screams) ‐Ramon: I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!

‐(audience cheering) ‐Host: Okay, audience. You see your choices:

‐one, two, or three. ‐(bell dings three times)

You get to choose how the kids settle their dispute.

Give us something good.

Host: Our actors are leaving the stage

so we can prepare your choice.

I said, "Well, how are we gonna settle this?" Rrrrrr!

‐Oh! ‐Ramon: So I think it's another challenge.

Host: Okay, that's it. Votes are in.

Director: You're gonna take a portable gaming device

out of your backpack, and read the note on the screen out loud.

Host: And let's go back to the scene.

Well, how are we gonna settle this?

I guess there's only one way

to decide who gets their way tonight.

We will have to compete against each other playing

this old video game I found called "School Time Zombie Apocalypse."

‐(bell dings) ‐(audience cheering)

This game is so cool,

it actually makes you feel like you're inside the video game.

Okay, Owen. You're player number one.

You'll have to get to the top

while trying to smash as many eggs

from those baskets as you can,

cracking them over your head as you go.

You get a point for each egg.

But if you get hit by one of the brain balls...

‐...you lose points. Go! ‐(electronic beeping)

‐(audience cheering) ‐(beeping continues)

Blair: This game's perfect for you, egghead!

‐(audience cheering) ‐(electronic beeping)

(buzzer buzzes)

Blair: Finish him!

Audience: Oh!

Blair: You might need to change the difficulty to easy.

(electronic beeping)

Blair (chanting): Owen! Owen! Owen!

(all chanting): Owen! Owen! Owen!

Zombie: Okay, Blair. You're player number two.

(electronic beeping)

Go!

(yells)

Owen: She's cheating! Oh!

‐(Blair exclaims) ‐Ha ha ha!

(electronic beeping)

(audience cheering)

(buzzer buzzes)

‐(buzzer buzzes) ‐(laughing)

Owen: It's about to be game over for you, punk!

Owen: Finish her!

Oh, my gosh.

(electronic beeping)

(audience cheering)

Yes! I won. That means your sleep machines go off,

and the window stays open!

♪♪

‐(scraping) ‐Hey, kids.

Whoa. Owen, you look terrible.

I was freezing all night

because I was bunking with Windows McGillicuddy over here.

Well, I appreciate you kids putting up with this.

The Gator's got nowhere else to go,

so I know it means a lot to him.

Whoa! Come on!

Gator!

Are you washing your drawers in the sink?

Dad, The Gator's gotta go.

Come on, he just doesn't know better.

That's probably how he washes clothes on the boat.

‐Rachel: Aah! Gator! ‐I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!

‐What happened? ‐I made a mistake.

I was going to use the bathroom, and I knocked.

I didn't hear anything, so I‐‐

How much did you see?

Not much! Very little! Hardly anything!

How much is hardly anything? I want a percentage!

I don't know. Maybe, like, 75 percent?

Seventy‐five percent?!

I mean 20! Twenty percent!

Ugh, this isn't working. You've got to go back

and patch things up with your mom.

Well, I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon.

We had a pretty big blowout.

‐About what? ‐That's the thing. It's just so petty.

You know the theory that all celebrities and politicians

belong to an elite group of shape‐shifting lizard people

who live in the center of the Earth and secretly control our world?

You believe that nonsense?

No, but Mother does. And when I told her it wasn't true,

she accused me of being one of them, and kicked me out.

I can help you with this. I'm a relationship guru.

‐I bring people together. ‐(laughs)

Y'all just need to figure out how to compromise.

Something these two still need to learn a thing or two about.

‐Compromise? ‐Sure. She agrees to let you live with her,

and you agree not to conduct any of your secret,

lizard people meetings when she's around.

But I ain't a lizard person is the thing!

Besides, it's probably actually better this way.

My mom's always getting on my nerves

with all her crazy theories.

And I'm always getting on her nerves when I

empty my boat toilet on her lawn.

So I guess I'll just live here for the foreseeable future!

‐(dinging) ‐Ooh, good! My whites are done.

Mm. Lemony fresh.

See you later, family.

Hear that? He thinks of us as family!

The Gator's gotta go.

‐Gotta happen. ‐Totally.

♪♪

(audience cheering)

♪♪

(sighs) It's nice to be back in my own room.

Even if I am sleeping on the floor.

Thanks for taking the sleeping bag, buddy.

I would have offered to sleep on the floor,

but I really didn't want to.

I'm just glad I don't have to share a room with Blair anymore.

You don't mind if I turn on my sleep machines,

do you? They're a little noisy.

Fine by me. I love noise.

Drowns out the scary night voices in my head.

‐You got everything you need over there? ‐Yeah.

I just can't believe Rachel kicked me out of our room

until I get Gator out of the house.

‐You don't mind if I open the window, do you? ‐Not at all.

Thanks. The breeze helps me sleep.

I like to pretend I'm a pirate at sea,

chasing the Dutch East India Company

down the Barbary Coast.

That's what's up!

♪ Aah ha ha ♪

I like to pretend I'm just getting home

after a real long day at a super hard job,

like a farmer or something,

and I've been at work all day feeding ducks.

Ooh! I like it.

No one sleeps better than a duck farmer.

(machines beeping, whirring)

‐Goodnight, Gator. ‐Goodnight, Owen.

Hey, Owen?

Yeah?

Do you think I'm a good radio sidekick?

Uh, yeah.

Like, yeah, I'm a good sidekick, or...

Yeah, like, not really,

but I just don't want to hurt your feelings.

Um, no.

I think you're a good sidekick.

I just sometimes wonder if I'm where I should be in life.

I mean, I live in a tiny boat in front of my mom's house.

By this age, I thought I'd live in a much bigger boat

in front of my mom's house.

I guess it all started when I was a kid.

Growing up in a small, little village...

Orlando.

(laughing loudly)

(loud laughing continues)

Oh, man! (laughs)

Dumb dog thinks it's human.

What are you doing?

(yelling): Oh, it take a while for me to fall asleep,

so I'm just watching some videos!

(yelling): Well, I can hear you!

No, you can't. I have on headphones!

I can hear you laughing.

Oh! Got it. Sorry about that.

(muffled laughter)

(laughing loudly)

(foghorn blares)

(squeals)

‐(laughing) ‐(audience cheering)

‐(bell dings three times) ‐Host: Okay, audience. You decide what happens

to Byron and Blair.

I'm super nervous about this window.

Like, even the roses outside,

I keep looking back like it's a person or something.

So, maybe something comes through the window.

‐You nervous? Your leg is wiggling. ‐(both laugh)

‐Host: Votes are in. ‐Director: So, we will start the scene

with you laughing, and you covering your head with a pillow.

Host: Now back to the scene.

Director: Action!

(muffled laughter)

(laughing loudly)

Pfffft! Aah! (chuckles)

(bell dings)

(audience exclaiming, laughing)

Wh‐‐ what‐‐ What is that? What is that?

I'm in a nightmare. I'm in a nightmare. Wh‐‐

(panicked breathing)

Blair, you want to switch beds? Let's switch beds.

No, I'm good.

Come on, it's moving on me, it's moving on me.

Pffft!

Blair, if he starts biting me, that's your‐‐

That's your cue to come save me, okay?

(yelling)

This thing is moving! Aah, it's moving! Ooh, it's moving!

Ooh, aah!

Who's your new roommate?

Ooh. Now's not the time to joke, Blair. Not...

Oh, so you can have a pet, but I can't.

Uh‐uh, baby, you‐‐ you can have this anytime you want.

I don't want it no more. Mm‐mm.

I feel like I should read this.

"The eastern indigo snake is listed as threatened

"under the U. S. Endangered Species Act.

"Because the indigo snake is a protected species,

you are not allowed to handle one without a permit."

And me reading that is the only way

we are allowed to do this bit.

Can we‐‐ Can we finish the bit now? Let's finish the bit.

(audience laughing)

Ooh, is that a hand? Is that a man hand?

‐Goodbye, Mr. Snake. ‐Byron: Oh!

What is that? What is that? He's got fingers now.

Snake got fingers?

(audience cheering)

Aah! This roommate situation is not working out.

Oh, you guys were right.

The Gator gotta get out of here.

‐Yes! Thank you! ‐(groans)

I'll get my room back!

Sorry it didn't work out, Gator, but I hate snakes.

And‐‐ And you gotta go home.

Byron, I can't go home. Mother thinks I'm a secret lizard man.

She doesn't want me around.

She even said I can't be her plus‐one

to this season of Shakespeare in the Park.

Whoa. That's messed up.

Your mom should not be treating you like that.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but Blair's right.

Your mom should not be treating you like that.

Wow. I think Owen is right about Blair being right.

You're her son. She should love you

even if you are a secret lizard man.

I swear on everything holy I'm not!

I'm gonna march over there right now,

and give your mom a piece of my mind.

You're going to confront Mother?

I don't think that's such a good idea.

Well, someone needs to get you two talking again,

and that's what I do. I bring people together!

Ha ha ha!

Sorry. Just grabbing a glass of water.

We believe in you, Byron.

Now you get out there. And you get our rooms back!

(audience cheering)

(both laughing)

Oh, gosh, there was a snake around my neck!

‐(all laughing) ‐Byron: Bro, you look good. You look good, man.

That was insane!

♪♪

I can't believe this.

What kind of grown, adult lady kicks her own son out of the house?

‐This is ridiculous. ‐(knocking)

I'm gonna talk some sense into her. If she doesn't listen,

I'm gonna unload on this awful woman.

(foghorn blares)

(audience cheering)

Host: Okay, audience. The actor who plays Byron

has no idea that his sister, his wife,

and his mom are secretly behind the scenes.

You get to decide who shows up in the next scene.

I'm at The Gator's house, and I just had a snake.

If a gator come out that door...

If a gator come out that door! (chuckles)

Director: When the door opens,

you will have new lines of dialogue

that will be on cue cards for you to read.

Host: And let's go back to the scene.

‐Director: Action! ‐(knocking)

You know what? I'm gonna talk some sense into her.

If she doesn't listen, I'm gonna unload on this awful woman.

(bell dinging)

(audience cheering)

(laughs)

(audience cheering)

This is my mama! (laughs)

Oh, my gosh.

Uh... um...

Hello, Mrs. Shifflett.

I have some things I need to say to you.

Gator is a terrific person.

And you are a terrible mother.

(audience laughing)

I can't say this to my mom. (laughs)

She like this. She like blushing her eyes and stuff.

(laughs)

You must be one of the worst mothers in the world.

I would never say anything bad

about a member of my family, but...

(laughing)

I must do this to you. (chuckles)

You are a real butthead.

(audience laughing)

You don't know how hard it's been for me.

My son is a giant doofus.

(audience laughing)

(laughing)

Listen, I get it.

(chuckles softly)

I get it. Yeah. I‐I... I know...

firsthand...

Hey, Mama, can you move over to the side a little bit?

Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. (nervous laughter)

Listen,

I get it. I know firsthand what an annoying,

dimwitted doofus your son is.

But the point is,

I find your behavior outrageous!

Shame on you! Shame!

‐(laughing) ‐Byron: Uh...

‐Uh... What? ‐(laughing)

Wh‐what are you laughing about? What's so funny?

Your voice sounds funny when you get all worked up.

You're like an angry little chipmunk.

(chuckles) You see, there's no talking to you.

I'm gonna go back home, and you know what?

I'm gonna look past the dirty drawers in the sink,

and let Gator stay with me.

Because if you won't be family to him,

then I will!

That's right. See you later, angry Mr. Chipmunk man.

(audience cheering)

♪♪

(laughing)

Yeah, I know, I know. He does totally do that!

(laughing)

Okay. Okay. See you in a bit. (laughs)

Love you, too, Mumsy. Bye.

‐(laughs) ‐Was that... ?

My mother? Yeah. She called and said you came over,

you got all angry,

and did some sort of crazy chipmunk voice.

And I was like, that's hilarious!

He does sort of sound like a chipmunk when he gets angry.

And then she was like,

"I know!" And then she started doing an impression of you.

(yelling high‐pitched gibberish)

And then we both started laughing.

And we both just realized

how much we miss each other's company, you know?

Oh. Yeah, that's great.

Yeah. So, I'm moving back in.

Let's be real. I'm a yard boat man.

And the call of the driveway beckons.

Thank you so much for you and your family's hospitality.

Peace!

(Owen and Blair laughing)

"I'm gonna march over there and give her a piece of my mind!"

(Blair laughing)

And then he was all, like,

‐"Someone needs to get you two talking again." ‐(both laugh)

Uh...

Oh.

Hey, Dad. (chuckles)

How did it go with Gator's mom?

Uh, good. They patched things up.

So you kids can sleep in your own rooms now.

Actually, Owen's gonna crash in my room. Just for the night.

We were laughing about how angry you were

when you busted into his room.

Then we started doing impressions of you.

And we just wanna keep making fun of you for a little while longer.

Blair, do it, do it, do it!

Yaw! Out of the way, everyone!

I'm Byron, the relationship guru!

Wait, what about your open window thing,

and Owen's sleep machines?

I'll muffle my sleep machines with some pillows.

And I'll sleep with a fan. We'll just compromise.

It's really not that big of a deal.

What is going on?

It's 2 o'clock in the morning.

Why is everyone awake and laughing?

You know I don't like laughing after 10 p. m.

Gator moved back home, and...

Owen and Blair are cool with staying

in the same room for the night.

What? Really? Wow. How'd all that happen?

I bring people together.

Guru.

Both: Guru!

And that's our show!

‐You guys have been a great crowd! ‐♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

(theme music plays)

(audience cheering)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

(cheering continues)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

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