Original subtitles

Tobie: Welcome to Just Roll With It!

(cheering)

(theme music plays)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

Let's cha‐cha.

‐Just... ‐Roll...

‐With... ‐It.

‐(bell ringing) ‐(kids cheering)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

(audience cheering)

Welcome to Just Roll With It!

(audience cheering)

When you hear this sound:

(foghorn blares)

The studio audience gets to vote on what happens to us in scenes.

(audience cheering)

Kaylin, it's your line.

(yelling): What?

Sorry. I got these,

'cause if I don't hear the foghorn,

nothing can happen to me.

That's not how it works at all.

Well, whether we hear it or not, we'll have to:

All: Just Roll With It!

(audience cheering)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

(giggles) It's here! It's here!

It's really here!

Kids. Kids. Gather around.

Our lives are about to change forever.

This is a smart toilet.

‐From Japan. ‐(giggles)

Wow.

You know how we've been doing all those TV commercials recently.

‐(foghorn blares) ‐(gasps)

‐What? ‐(laughing)

‐(bell dings three times) ‐Host: It's time to vote. What type of commercial

should Byron and Rachel make?

I'm so excited. First scene, first horn.

We will be starting the scene with Byron reading a new line

from a cue card below the camera.

‐Host: Now back to the scene. ‐Man: Let's roll, please.

Director: Action!

You know how we've been doing all those TV commercials recently.

‐(Byron laughing) ‐(bell dinging)

(audience cheering)

I'm Byron Blatt from Beatz 101,

here to introduce Sumo Shampoo.

My wife and producer, Rachel,

will help me tell you about the benefits

of this incredible product.

‐Rachel: That's right, Byron. ‐Byron: Ah!

Now, the nice thing about this shampoo is you can use a little bit,

or you can use a lot. And it doesn't matter.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

Rachel: Oh, it feels nice.

Don't let the tingles scare you. That just means it's working.

‐That's just menthol! ‐You have stolen my Sumo Shampoo!

I now challenge you to a match.

Nope. (laughs)

‐(Byron laughing) ‐(audience exclaiming)

(audience cheering)

Referee: All right, you ready for this?

And... fight.

Let's go, baby. Come on.

‐Rachel: It's all right. My spirit animal is a turtle. ‐(Byron laughs)

(Byron yelling)

‐(Byron yells) ‐Baby, this is‐‐

This is not the time to be proud.

Come here. Come here.

‐Come on, baby. ‐Aah!

Here we go.

Aah!

Okay.

‐Hold on, we're comin' for ya. We're comin' for ya. ‐Aah!

Here I come. I'm gonna bite your feet.

Byron: Bite his feet!

Woo!

‐Just gotta get some momentum. ‐Byron: Aah!

‐I just gotta get my momentum‐‐ ‐Byron: Aah!

(Byron yelling, laughing)

(audience cheering)

‐Byron: Aah! ‐Rachel: Oh, ho ho!

Byron: Aah!

Rachel: Oh!

‐The winners! ‐Oh!

(audience cheering)

Now we'll leave you with the Sumo Shampoo jingle.

Byron, sing it with me.

‐♪ Sumo‐‐ ♪ ‐♪ I love... ♪

Oh, here we go.

(dance music plays)

♪ When you go to use shampoo ♪

♪ Make sure it is Sumo ♪

♪ When you go to use shampoo ♪

Both: ♪ Make sure it is Sumo ♪

♪ Sumo Shampoo ♪

Both: ♪ Sumo Sumo Shampoo ♪

‐♪ Sumo ♪ ‐♪ Sumo ♪

‐♪ Shampoo ♪ ‐♪ Sumo ♪

(singing continues on phone)

‐First I've heard of it. ‐Nope, didn't have a clue.

Well, your dad just did one for this Japanese toilet company.

And they paid me in toilets. Well, just one toilet.

It has a heated seat,

an auto‐flush feature, its own concierge service,

cutting‐edge self‐learning software,

and it even uses AI to get to know each user.

Toilet, go on.

‐Introduce yourself. ‐(lid clatters)

Hello, I am T. O. T. The toilet of tomorrow.

T.O.T., we're honored to have you in our home.

And apologies in advance for what I'm going to do to you.

Do not let my size fool you. (chuckles softly)

Ah, it's time for school. You kids better get going.

Like my old drill instructor used to say,

"You miss the ride, it's your hide."

He said some other stuff, too,

but it's a little early for cursing.

Can you guys sign these permission slips?

Blair and I have a field trip to the aquarium on Friday.

I hope we get to see the piranhas eat something.

A swarm of piranhas can eat an entire cow

‐in ten minutes flat. ‐(gasps)

Mom, can we get a cow before Friday?

Please, please, please? I promise to take care of it.

No, Blair. But I do have some good news.

We signed up as chaperones on your field trip. Ha.

Wait. You're chaperoning?

Cute, but no.

Uh, Blair, that's so mean.

But correct.

There is no chance you're going on our field trip.

You'll totally embarrass us. It's in your DNA.

Ooh, Rachel it hurts. Oh, it hurts so bad.

Okay, we're gonna head to school. Don't wanna be late.

I don't care about that.

I'm just leaving 'cause it's uncomfortable.

Wow. That was really rough.

Does this mean the kids don't think I'm cool anymore?

Huh. That can't be. Unless...

You don't think this is the beginning of the kids pushing us away

and no longer needing us, do you?

Downloading the e‐book What To Do When Your Children No Longer Need You,

and Other Shorts Stories For Old, Uncool Parents.

♪♪

‐Blair, look! The toilet's been set up. ‐(chuckles)

Now, time to toast these buns.

T.O.T., do your thing.

T.O.T.: Commence warming.

Oh, yeah.

My butt feels like a warm tortilla.

Okay. There.

I just finished setting up our user profiles.

All we need to do is activate the voice recognition software.

I'll go first.

T.O.T., I'm Owen.

Hello, Owen. Voice analyzation indicates

you are a 12‐year‐old human male

of high intelligence.

(laughs) Extraordinary.

And T. O. T., my home slice, I'm Blair.

Hello, Blair. Voice analyzation indicates

you are a twelve‐year‐old human female,

with a pattern of delinquent behavior.

Which, if left unchecked,

will likely lead towards the life of a petty grifter.

Wow. For the first time,

I really feel seen.

(phone beeps)

Oh, man! It's Nana Blatt's birthday.

Oh, no. I totally forgot to send something.

Don't worry. I took the liberty of arranging for a seasonal bouquet,

to be delivered with a card reading,

"Happy Birthday, Nana. You're 70 years young.

"Or ten, in dog years.

‐LOL. Love, Owen and Blair." ‐(both laughing)

T.O.T., you life‐saving lavatory.

Yes! Another year in the will.

Excuse me. I have a question.

Um, uh, didn't know it could ask questions, but go ahead.

What am I?

You're a toilet.

Is it good to be a toilet?

Um, well...

Toilets are pretty necessary, so...

yeah.

By why am I... toilet?

Oh, my gosh.

This toilet isn't just self‐learning. It's self‐aware.

Whoa! Wait, what does that mean?

It means T. O. T. is alive!

Both: Whoa!

(audience cheering)

♪♪

Owen: T. O. T., we're home!

(T.O.T. whimpering)

What is happening?

(whimpering continues)

‐T.O.T., are you upset about something? ‐(lid clattering)

Last night, when performing my updates,

I download the complete emotions package.

So, when you and Blair left me here all day, I...

I...

missed you. (sobbing)

Oh, T. O. T., we never meant to hurt you.

You're our friend. We'd never abandon one of our friends.

We gotta leave if we're gonna make it to the movie.

Not now, Ruth.

So, you'll stay and hang out with me?

Of course, honey. We're here for you.

Um, how long do you think you're gonna be consoling your toilet?

Sorry, Ruth. We're gonna have to bail on the movie.

Hip, hip, hooray!

Wait. Just so I'm clear,

are you guys blowing me off to hang out with...

your toilet?

Someday when you have a toilet of your own, you'll understand.

Dance party!

(dance music plays)

Ayyyy!

What up, fam?

Y'all keepin' it 100 down here?

‐Spill the tea. ‐Mm.

Man. (sucks teeth)

Man, I low‐key love havin' breakfast with my squad.

‐Ooh. ‐Both: Squad goals.

Are you feeling okay?

Wait, wait, wait.

‐Is this you guys trying to not be embarrassing? ‐(Rachel scoffs)

Oh ho. Uh, pound sign, y'all are straight tripping. (chuckles)

We just lettin' y'all know, we down.

We're savage.

‐We're woke. ‐Rachel: Oh.

So woke. Like...

early riser, three cups of coffee woke.

And not at all salty about the chaperone thing.

(chuckles)

No FOMO here‐o.

To B. H., we chillin'.

Ow.

Yeah, well, we have stuff to do.

But good luck with whatever this is.

Oh, you big man, huh?

‐No need to throw blinds! (scoffs) ‐Shade!

‐Why can't I remember that? ‐Throw shade!

Morning, T. O. T.! We have a super fun day planned for us.

(foghorn blares)

(audience cheering)

Ha ha ha ha!

Host: Okay, audience.

‐ What should T. O. T.'s fun day be? ‐(bell dings three times)

Both: One, two, three. We got this!

Host: Okay, that's it. Votes are in.

Let's go back to the scene.

Director: Action.

Morning, T. O. T. We have a super fun day planned for us.

I have an idea. Let's do a dance‐off.

‐(bell dings) ‐(audience cheering)

T.O.T.: During the break, the audience had their own dance contest,

and the Robertson family won.

(audience cheering)

Come on in, guys.

(audience cheering)

(cheering, clapping continues)

You really gotta stop letting people in our house, T. O. T.

Yeah.

‐ Owen and Blair, you're up first. ‐Okay.

Get ready, get set...

Dance off!

(dance music plays)

T.O.T. (in slow motion): Dance slower...

(audience cheering)

T.O.T.: Now dance faster!

(fast dance music plays)

‐(Blair squealing, laughing) ‐(Owen laughing)

‐(Blair squealing) ‐Oh, what is it‐‐ I don't know.

T.O.T.: Okay.

‐That's enough. ‐Okay.

I found your dancing to be displeasing.

Y our dancing made me want to plunge myself in the face.

(audience laughing)

N ow, let's see what the Robertsons have to offer.

‐(audience cheering) ‐T. O. T.: Ready, set...

‐ Dance! ‐(dance music playing)

(cheering continues)

T.O.T.: Now this is dancing.

Now we're going faster.

(fast dance music plays)

Oh!

T.O.T.: Now slower.

Owen: Okay.

‐(slow dance music plays) ‐(audience cheering)

(audience cheering)

That was terrific!

Let's get a round of applause for the Robertson family.

(audience cheering)

Come on, audience. Help me decide who won.

Who thinks Blair and Owen did the best?

(light applause, cheering)

Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Who thinks the Robertson family did the best?

(audience cheering loudly)

Wow.

(laughing) Unbelievable.

And now, the Robertson family

is the winner of the Golden Plunger!

‐Presented by our house DJ, Lela B. ‐Wow! (kisses)

‐Great job, buddy. ‐You, too.

One more time for the Robertson family.

(audience cheering)

Wow. That was a lot of fun.

But I am wiped.

I think I need a nap.

Shh. I think T. O. T.'s finally in sleep mode.

Ugh. Man, I'm exhausted. Whew.

Me, too. But, aw...

Doesn't T. O. T. just look so peaceful?

I never imagined I'd be taking care of a toilet at this age.

Or uttering that sentence.

‐Night‐night, T. O. T. ‐(kisses)

‐(snoring) ‐(soft music plays)

(snoring)

(snoring continues)

Rise and shine, sleepyhead!

We have another exciting day planned,

so clear your calendar, and set your pipes to fun!

Owen, Blair. Please take a seat.

Is everything okay?

There's no easy way to say this.

While I have enjoyed our time together,

there is a hole within T. O. T.

And not just the hole that the filth goes in.

A n emotional hole.

I realized...

I need to be with my family.

But we're your family.

No. My toilet family.

(audience cheering)

♪♪

T.O.T., so you really wanna leave us?

I started researching where I came from.

And I learned about a place where there are other toilets. Like me.

A magical place called... a Japan!

I've decided to return to my homeland.

‐We can go with you! ‐Yeah! Maybe we can go there for spring break.

While I appreciate the offer,

I must make this trip alone.

W e Japanese toilets are sophisticated, and worldly.

I'm afraid if you come, you'll...

w ell... embarrass me.

I'm sorry. It's‐‐ It's just in your DNA.

Aah! Owen, it hurts!

It hurts so bad.

Blair, I know this is hard, but...

if you love a toilet, you have to set it free.

T.O.T., we respect your decision to leave.

T.O.T.: Thank you.

I have already arranged transport

via the personal concierge function.

I don't know what I'm going to do without you, T. O. T.

Our little guy is all grown up. (chuckles)

I will never forget you two.

Whenever your stomach is feeling queasy,

please think of me.

We will, T. O. T. We sure will.

Now, let's try to make the most of what little time we have left.

‐(foghorn blares) ‐(audience cheering)

(laughing)

‐(bell dings three times) ‐Host: It's the last vote.

What should T. O. T.'s final game be?

‐Whoa. How are you feeling? ‐Oh, I'm feeling kind of nervous.

T.O.T.'s so sassy. That's what I love about him.

So we will be restarting the scene

‐with a new line of dialogue from T. O. T. ‐Okay.

Host: And let's go back to the scene.

Director: Action!

Now let's try to make the most of the time we have left

by playing one last game:

Water Blaster Fight!

‐(bell dinging) ‐Woo!

And I invited some friends to join.

These are my friends Johnny and Little Flush.

‐(audience laughing) ‐T. O. T.: Buckle yourself in.

(audience cheering)

T.O.T.: Go to opposite sides of the bathroom.

When I say go, aim for the bulls eye

on each other's helmets.

On your mark, get set,

Go!

‐(Blair giggling) ‐(spraying)

(squeals)

(spraying)

T.O.T.: Try to aim better.

‐Oh, I gotcha. I gotcha. I got‐‐ ‐Eat‐‐

Eat toilet, sucker!

I'm gonna blast you right off the toilet, punk!

(spraying)

I can't see anything.

Loser cleans the bathroom for a week.

T.O.T.: And... time.

(audience cheering)

Wow. That was a lot of fun.

But now it's time for me to say goodbye,

the only way I know how.

(whimsical music playing)

(clapping)

(Owen laughing softly)

‐(Blair shrieks) ‐(liquid pouring)

(music ends)

(chuckles)

(audience cheering)

We're really gonna miss you, T. O. T. (sniffles)

It's so quiet without T. O. T. here.

I miss the pitter‐patter of his little flushes.

I guess we could always try to get another toilet.

(sighs) I don't know, Blair.

Does it really seem fair to bring another toilet into this crazy,

mixed‐up world we live in?

Maybe you're right.

You know,

I wonder if this is how Dad and Rachel felt

when we said they couldn't come on the field trip with us.

Huh. I guess now we know what it's like to be uncool.

Don't worry, Blair.

I've got a funny kind of feeling

we're gonna see T. O. T. again someday.

(shimmering)

Hey, guys.

What happened to those try‐hard outfits?

We realize we may have gone a little overboard

with all that acting young stuff.

So we've decided to accept that

sometimes you might not want us around.

And we're okay with that.

Mom, do you think you and Byron

still want to chaperone our field trip?

Yes, yes! A thousand times yes!

We'd love to. No take‐backs. This calls for a celebration.

‐Who wants to go to Hurricane Cantina? ‐(all cheering)

Aah, all right, just give me a minute. I'll be right back.

By the way, Nana said she got your flowers.

That was so sweet of you.

Uh, kids, where's the toilet?

And that's our show!

You guys have been a great crowd!

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

(audience cheering)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

(cheering, clapping continues)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0