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Tobie: Welcome to Just Roll With It!
(theme music plays)
(kids cheering)
♪♪
♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪
‐(bell rings) ‐(kids cheering)
♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪
(audience cheering)
Woo!
Yeah! Yeah!
Welcome to Just Roll With It!
(audience cheering)
The only show that lets our studio audience
vote on what happens to us in scenes.
‐(audience cheering) ‐Yeah!
When you hear this sound:
(foghorn blares)
You get to vote.
(audience cheering)
How come they never vote for the nice options?
I don't think there are nice options.
Well, whatever happens, we'll have to:
All: Just Roll With It!
‐(audience cheering) ‐Tobie: Let's start the show!
♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪
So, after the morning show's done,
you just sit here and play video games all afternoon?
No, I also take naps.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
Bennett‐Blatts of all ages,
introducing the new,
blue belt champion of the world,
Blair! (imitating air horn)
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
I molly‐wopped those squids!
Look at you, Blair!
You're really killing it in Gator's Young Kickers Karate Class.
You should have seen me today.
I whooped up something hard on Kendell Ainsworth.
No, you learned discipline, self‐control, and respect for other cultures.
Right. That, too.
Look. Her retainer left an imprint on my hand.
How cool is that?
Owen, I thought you had anime club today.
‐It's canceled for the whole year. ‐Why?
Kenny's dad got a job out of state and he had to move.
‐So? ‐So the club was just me and Kenny.
Well, what are you gonna do with all your extra free time now?
I don't know yet. I'm already three months ahead on my homework.
But I have been flirting with getting into antiquing.
Or, why don't you do karate with Blair?
That would mean one drop‐off.
Oh, and the dojo's in the nice strip mall,
so we could both get half‐price happy hour appetizers
at Hurricane Cantina!
(laughs) Owen?
Take karate? That's hilarious.
Hold on. I'm not done laughing.
Ha!
I could do karate.
That could really round out my middle school transcript.
Karate isn't a crude game like one of your ball sports.
Karate is about crushing your opponent mentally as much as physically.
Like Sun Tzu wrote in The Art of War,
"All warfare is based on deception."
You didn't read that book.
‐Yes, I did. ‐Really?
No.
See? Boom! Deception.
Rachel, Dad, I'm doing karate!
Yes! One drop‐off!
Half‐price cheese and pretzel jalapeño poppers, were we come!
From this day on, I am a karate kid!
I like the sound of that. Has anyone ever used that before?
♪♪
All right. Here we are. Owen's first day of karate school.
Aah!
I'm so proud of my two little warriors.
I don't want to get too sentimental here,
but I'd like to tell you something my old man told me
when I left for bootcamp.
It's not so much the things you learn.
It's the people who give you the most‐‐
‐(pager buzzes) ‐That's us. Our table's ready.
Uh, uh, gotta go. Nothing in the face. Love you kids. Bye!
Gather 'round, my karate ducklings.
Not you, Stephen! You know what you did!
I'd like to announce we have a new student
joining the Young Kickers today.
He is not only the son of my best friend in the whole world,
he's also the stepson of my boss.
But rest assured, he will be treated like your equal.
However, I am automatically promoting him to the level of blue belt.
Congratulations, Owen.
(clapping)
Wow, karate's awesome!
Look, Blair. We've got the same belt.
Neat. Cool. Great.
All right, the tournament's this Saturday.
So we're gonna start with some simple warm‐up exercises.
Time to pick partners.
There's an odd number of students,
so whoever is not chosen will have to work with me.
Matthew, do you want to go through the whole picking charade,
or would you rather just team up with me now?
I'll just go with you now.
That's what I thought, buddy. Get up here.
Someone stole our table, so I guess we're stuck watching you kids.
Hey, Blair, seeing how our belts match and all,
want to warm up with me?
Eh, why not?
‐(foghorn blares) ‐(audience cheering)
Oh!
‐(bell dings three times) ‐Host: Okay, audience. It's time to lock in your vote.
‐When they vote, they just get super quiet. ‐Quiet.
‐Scary. ‐Kaylin: Yeah.
We're about to do karate.
(Suzi laughs)
Host: Votes are in. Now back to the scene.
Man: Rolling.
Director: Action.
Hey, Blair, seeing how our belts match and all,
‐want to warm up with me? ‐Sure.
Today's warm‐up is:
the Fighting Heavy Bag!
‐(bell dings) ‐(audience clapping, cheering)
(laughs)
Blair: This‐‐ This doesn't look good.
‐(laughs) ‐Go ahead. Try a few punches.
Okay.
‐(hits) ‐Ha!
Oh, gosh. Karate's, uh, pretty easy when they don't fight back.
What'd you say about my momma, punk? Ha!
Yeah! Don't talk about Rachel. Ha!
‐(Gator exclaims) ‐(Owen laughing)
It's alive! It's alive!
(squeals)
‐Oh! ‐(kicks)
‐Audience: Oh! ‐Rachel: That's my daughter!
‐(Blair, Owen exclaim) ‐Hey!
Hey! (squeals)
(Blair shrieks)
Uh, hey! Hey!
Blair: No! (squeals)
(Byron shouting)
‐Push over! ‐Byron: Oh!
(audience clapping, cheering)
Aah! Aah, aah, aah!
And stay out of my dojo!
‐Rachel: Way to go! ‐(audience clapping)
‐(whistle blows) ‐On your mark, get set, karate!
All right, Blair. Let's see what you got.
Blue belt versus blue belt. Brother versus‐‐
Ha, ha, ha!
Bad news, book man!
You just wandered into Beat Down City.
How'd you like the welcome package?
Can I spar with Matthew?
(audience cheering)
♪♪
Took us forever to get a table at Hurricane Cantina,
but it was totally worth it.
I can't believe how many Ragin' Cajun Bacon Flapjacks we ate.
I'm gonna throw up if I ever see another
Big Easy Pickled Cheese Curd Smoothie.
I feel like I'm having a heart attack in my butt.
Blair, could you and I have a little pow‐wow?
I couldn't help but notice you were a tad aggressive today.
Yeah, Owen. I worked hard for my blue belt.
How would you feel if I just waltzed into your Honors English class,
and was immediately given whatever they use
to tell you how well you're doing there?
They're called grades, Blair.
The big tournament is this weekend,
and you don't have what it takes to hang with the Young Kickers.
You don't scare me, Blair.
Nothing scares me.
‐Huh! ‐(shrieks)
(coughs, clears throat)
Better watch your back, Owen.
Because you just messed around and started a karate war!
Joke's on you, fool. I love a good karate war!
Both: Karate war!
Why did I say that?
I am terrified of karate wars.
♪♪
You kids want in on this Double Gut‐Buster
Chunky Cheddar Chum Bucket?
If you pour your soda into it,
it really loosens up the cheddar chunks.
I'll pass.
You probably shouldn't fight on an empty stomach.
‐(foghorn blares) ‐(Blair squeals)
‐(audience cheering) ‐Rachel: What!
I love you!
Host: Okay, audience. You see your choices.
‐One, two, or three. ‐(bell dings three times)
Host: You guys vote on what you want to have happen next.
Our actors are leaving the stage so we can prepare your choice.
Famous last words: "You probably shouldn't fight on an empty stomach. "
Host: Okay, that's it. Votes are in.
Director: You're gonna take a card off of whatever is wheeled in,
‐and you're gonna read your new line of dialogue, alright? ‐You got it.
Host: Let's go back to the scene.
Director: Action!
You probably shouldn't fight on an empty stomach.
Hey, what do we have, here? (laughs)
Owen: Oh, no.
‐(audience groaning) ‐Rachel: What do we have here?
‐Blair: (squeals) No. ‐Owen: No.
Okay. Well, if you're not into fried foods,
lucky for you, the dojo has a new smoothie bar!
And today's special is snails!
‐(bell dinging) ‐(audience cheering)
Owen: Not sna‐‐ Not snails! Anything but snails!
‐I hate snails! ‐Owen: No!
So, don't worry, your parents will make a smoothie for you.
‐No! ‐Byron: Yeah. (chuckles)
‐Here we go. ‐Pour 'em all in.
‐Rachel: You need your protein. ‐Owen: No!
(audience exclaims, groans)
‐This is the liquid. ‐Owen: No! Ugh!
(Owen groans)
‐(audience chattering) ‐Owen: Ugh!
Oh, poor snails!
‐(blender whirring) ‐Byron: Oh, ha ha! Ha ha!
Ooh! That's good protein.
‐Rachel: Look at all that! ‐Byron: All that fiber!
Rachel: Look at all those vitamins!
Both: No, no, no, no, no!
All right, let's not blend it too much.
My kids like it extra chunky.
‐No, I don't! ‐No, I‐‐ I hate chunky!
‐I've never even had that! ‐I hate chunky!
‐Smells like an old bathing suit. ‐Audience: Oh!
Oh, no.
Owen: I hope this dojo has vomit bags.
‐(audience chattering) ‐(pretend retching)
‐Oh, look at that! ‐Oh, no!
‐(pretend retching) ‐Rachel: Here we go.
‐Owen: Oh, no. ‐Oh, no.
Students can't eat before tournaments, but...
we can't waste food, so...
‐The adults must drink it. ‐Owen: Yeah!
(audience cheering)
Yeah!
‐Come on, Mom and Byron! It'll be good! ‐Come on, come on!
‐It'll be good protein! ‐It's good protein!
I am suddenly regretting all of my taunts.
There's only one way out.
‐Give it to me. ‐An arm‐wrestling contest!
‐Let's go. I'm ready for that! Let's go. ‐Let's go.
Introducing your opponent: The Arm Warrior!
Oh, no.
(Arm Warrior grunts)
(whimpers)
Gator: The loser will have to drink the smoothie.
‐Byron, you're up first. ‐Let's go. Let's go.
‐It ain't no game. It ain't no game. ‐Come on, come on.
(all chattering)
All (chanting): Byron! Byron!
‐On your mark... ‐Audience (chanting): Byron! Byron!
Get set.
‐Karate! ‐Let go. Let go. Let it go!
‐No! ‐(bell dings)
Best out of three! Let's go!
No. Hey, not best out of three, man.
‐You gotta drink it. ‐Audience: Oh!
‐(Owen screams) ‐(all screaming)
Too much!
That was disgusting.
‐Rachel, it's your turn. ‐All right.
Gator: The loser will have to drink the smoothie.
All (chanting): Rachel! Rachel! Rachel! Rachel!
Apologies if I hurt you.
‐(Blair laughs) ‐Gator: On your mark.
Get set.
‐Karate! ‐(bell dings)
(all yelling)
(cheering, chattering)
We didn't know the rules.
Audience (chanting): Rachel! Rachel!
And now, the arm warrior has to drink.
Hold on. Hold on, we're not monsters. There we go.
Thank you so much for doing our show.
Audience (chanting): Drink it! Drink it! Drink it!
Drink it! Drink it! Drink it!
‐(all yelling) ‐(audience cheering)
(all cheering)
Blair: Nice job!
‐Byron: Give me that. Give it here. ‐Arm Warrior: Whoa.
‐Rachel: Way to go. ‐Lot of bones in there.
(laughing)
Now that that's all over with,
welcome to the Third Annual Young Kickers Tournament!
Stephen! Get out of here!
So without further ado,
welcome to the Gator Dome!
(rock music playing)
In this corner, weighing in at 81 pounds,
and reading at a seventh grade level,
it's Emily Neubauer!
And in the other corner, weighing in at 61 pounds,
the tiny but mighty best of the Midwest,
Blair Bennett!
(muffled): That's my stepdaughter!
(muffled): Your mom is standing with you, Blair!
Uh‐oh. Blair's arm seems like it's in a sling.
That can't be good for her fighting.
Looks like Emily might have the advantage here.
‐What happened to Blair's arm? ‐I don't know.
All right. Ready, set,
karate!
Are you okay? What's wrong with your arm?
It hurts. Look! Hi‐yah!
‐Point, Blair! ‐(bell dings)
Woo! Aah, my babies!
Boom! Deception.
Gotta hand it to her. Blair's pretty impressive.
The good news is she's in a different bracket than me,
so we'll never have to fight.
Owen, are you gonna help or what?
Half the Peanut Butter Chicken Shrimp went under your seat!
We're coming up on the end of the first round.
Put your hands together for the one, the only,
my best friend's son, Owen Bellamy Blatt!
And Matthew.
Try not to hurt me, Owen.
Just give me a little tap.
‐I'll make it look real. ‐What?
I don't really want to be here.
My parents make me come. Come on. Just give me a tap.
I'll throw the fight.
You don't have to do that, man.
You're gonna do great.
Aah! He got me!
I'm out!
That's my best friend's son! That's my best friend's son!
(bell dings)
That means the next match is:
Blair versus Owen!
‐What? ‐Byron/ Rachel: What?
(dance music plays)
(audience cheering)
♪♪
Okay, everyone. Take your places.
Five minutes till the big show. Everyone needs to‐‐
Stephen! That wig is not fooling anyone!
Hit the bricks!
Hey, Gator?
How are Owen and Blair competing against each other?
I thought they were in different brackets.
Those are the perks of being BFF with Master Gator.
Pulled some strings, now both your kids
are forced to fight each other. You're welcome.
Why does that sound like something we would want?
I'm not sure I'm following.
Now we have two kids going against each other.
Yeah. A hundred percent chance one of 'em ends up winning.
And a hundred percent chance one of 'em ends up losing.
I think you're math's off, 'cause that would be two hundred percent.
Gator, you've put us in a terrible situation. Who do we root for?
Oh, that's easy. Blair. She's so much better.
‐Come on, kids! Suit up! Get ready for round one! ‐(foghorn blares)
‐(audience cheering) ‐I told you!
‐I told you! I told you! ‐Woo!
‐(bell dings three times) ‐Host: Time for the last vote.
What should happen next?
‐Ramon: Kaylin, we got this. ‐No, we‐‐ We really don't.
Tobie: Swimming shoes!
Kaylin/ Ramon: We got this!
Host: And let's go back to the scene.
Director: Action.
Come on, kids! Suit up and get ready for round one!
To anticipate your opponent's every move,
you must become your opponent.
Round one will test that by having you play:
Eyeball Swap Obstacle Course!
‐Audience: Woo! ‐(bell dings)
This does not sound good.
First, put on the eyeball switching goggles!
Oh, my gosh.
No way. This is the future.
Gator: These goggles switch a person's point of view.
Blair, you see through Owen's camera.
And Owen, you see through Blair's.
Whoa.
Now go try on your new eyes.
‐My new eyes? ‐Blair: My new eyes?
Because you're switching eyes.
‐Owen: Oh. I get it. ‐Blair: Oh.
Owen: The world's a lot shorter looking through Blair's eyes.
Owen: Okay.
‐Gator: All right! ‐Rachel: Woo!
Ready, set, karate!
‐Oh, shoot. ‐(Byron laughing)
‐Blair: Owen, keep looking at me! ‐Owen: I can't!
‐Blair: Come on! ‐Owen: I can't look at you!
Blair: Yes, you can!
‐(thuds) ‐Blair: Okay.
‐Owen: Uh... ‐Blair: Okay.
Gator: Oh, and any mistakes you make on the course,
you get hosed with goo!
‐Blair: What? ‐Owen: No! No!
‐(Owen yells) ‐(Blair shrieks)
Audience: Oh!
Where are you, Blair?
‐Blair: I'm‐‐ ‐Byron: Oh!
‐(audience yelling) ‐Owen: Okay.
Will you hit my parents with that goo?
Get 'em! Woo!
(audience chattering, laughing)
You missed! You can't get me!
Blair, can you turn around and look at me real quick?
Owen: Right...
Right... okay, right there. Right there.
‐(sloshing) ‐Oh!
Great job, kids! That's our match!
(audience cheering)
‐Gator: Woo! ‐Rachel: Good job!
Owen: Okay!
Okay, that's taken care of. Now we're only moments away from round two.
Hey, Blair, I just wanted to say that however this thing ends,
it's been really impressive watching you today.
Too late to make nice.
You came into my karate class and tried to steal my thunder.
Blair, I swear that wasn't what I was trying to do.
Sorry, Owen. These fists are hungry.
But Momma's gonna feed 'em. Yes, she is. (kisses)
Welcome back to Gator‐mania Three!
♪ Doo doo doo, doo doo doo ♪
Gator‐pocalypse.
‐Gator! ‐Gator: Go‐‐
Get on with it.
Sorry.
Ready, set, karate!
Blair, for reals, I don't want to do this
if it's gonna make us enemies.
In fact, the real reason I joined this place is because...
I like hanging out with you.
What are you talking about?
I'm serious. Go ahead.
Just give me a light tap. I'll make it look real.
And when this is all over, I'll quit karate.
‐You'll quit? ‐Yeah.
Well, great. Now I feel like a jerk.
It's okay. Just tap me.
(sighs) How about this?
If we both forfeit, then you can at least
go your entire karate career without being defeated.
You'd do that?
Sure. What are siblings for?
Okay. On three?
Both: One, two, three...
‐I forfeit. ‐Owen wins!
Hold on. He forfeits, too.
I don't know what she's talking about.
Heh.
That's not fair. You cheated.
Boom. Deception.
I actually read Sun Tzu's The Art of War.
Honors English, sucka!
I can't believe‐‐ Of all the low‐down, dirty tricks!
I am so proud of you!
I gotta admit, everything I know about being sneaky,
I learned from you.
Aw. That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Bring it in.
Owen Blatt, the semi‐finals champion.
Which means he goes on to the finals
to face the freakishly large 12‐year‐old phenom
found in the Siberian death‐lands.
Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together
for Ungar the Vindictive!
(growls)
I forfeit!
And that's our show!
‐(audience cheering) ‐Kaylin: Thanks for being a great audience!
♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪
(cheering, clapping continues)
♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪
Stephen, get out of here!
♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪
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