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00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:04,206
Tobie:
Welcome to "Just Roll With It"!
2
00:00:04,213 --> 00:00:06,803
‐(theme song plays)
‐(kids cheering)
3
00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:09,088
♪♪
4
00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,763
♪♪
5
00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:18,058
♪ Na na na nana na na na ♪
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00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:24,611
♪♪
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00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,938
‐(bell rings)
‐(kids cheering)
8
00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:28,324
♪ Na na na nana na na na ♪
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00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,280
(audience cheering)
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00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,660
‐(bell rings)
‐(cheering continues)
11
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,988
‐Suzi: All right!
‐(cheering)
12
00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:37,003
(all cheering)
13
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:45,094
Welcome to
"Just Roll With It"!
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00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:46,377
Yeah!
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00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:51,799
Like a lot of TV shows,
we tape in front of a live, studio audience.
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00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:55,262
‐(audience cheering)
‐Suzi: Yeah!
17
00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:57,434
We tried it with
a dead studio audience,
18
00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:59,272
but they did not laugh.
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00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:00,638
(audience laughs)
20
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,904
What's different
about this show is
21
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:06,686
our audience gets to vote
on what happens to us in scenes.
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00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:09,032
So, when you hear
this sound:
23
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,447
(foghorn blares)
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00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:14,236
The scene will stop.
You guys vote,
25
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:15,991
and we'll have to‐‐
26
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:18,203
All:
"Just Roll With It"!
27
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:20,293
(audience cheering)
28
00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:22,209
Let's start the show!
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00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:24,037
♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪
30
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,258
♪♪
31
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,665
Last night,
I had a nightmare
32
00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:31,723
that I didn't make
the varsity basketball team.
33
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,927
My mom says that nightmares
are just the universe
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00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,637
telling you exactly
what's going to happen.
35
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,847
That doesn't make me
feel better.
36
00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:39,598
Ruth, this is serious.
37
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,730
If I'm gonna stand a chance
at making varsity,
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00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:44,187
I need to practice
24/7 until tryouts.
39
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:46,057
No more sleeping,
no more eating.
40
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,484
Just basketball.
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00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:50,243
Owen, this might cheer you up.
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00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:54,105
Scientists are fairly certain
that we're living in a computerized simulation
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00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,914
designed by
an advanced alien species.
44
00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:58,197
That means none of this
is really happening.
45
00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:00,451
We're just characters
in a giant computer game
46
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:03,124
and once they pull the plug:
(imitates explosions)
47
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,633
It's game over, man.
48
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,995
So just relax, you know?
49
00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:10,593
Yeah, that didn't help me relax.
50
00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:13,339
But, my dad's been on me
about the same thing.
51
00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:14,762
He says I work too hard.
52
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,350
He's forcing me
to go play laser tag with him this weekend to...
53
00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:18,306
unwind.
54
00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,178
Ruth, great news.
55
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:24,273
The town's oldest
ice cream shop is closing on Saturday
56
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:27,229
and the news
is gonna be broadcasting from there live.
57
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:28,820
You know what that means.
58
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,775
Both:
"Drama Sisters"!
59
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:35,157
We haven't done "Drama Sisters"
since we had our falling out.
60
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,365
I know! It's like,
once we do "Drama Sisters"
61
00:02:37,366 --> 00:02:39,196
then we're officially
friends again!
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00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:40,831
What's "Drama Sisters"?
63
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,117
It's the best.
64
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,410
Whenever we'd find a reporter
who was about to go live,
65
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,004
I'd get them to
put me on the air.
66
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,749
Then, once they're
interviewing Blair,
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00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:50,421
I come in, and go full‐on
reality show drama.
68
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:54,260
Something like this:
Hi, my name is Marlena from the Hamptons,
69
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:57,137
and I'm so sad
the ice cream store is closing.
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00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:58,965
How dare you show your face,
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00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:01,220
after you poisoned my fiance,
72
00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:03,063
and tossed him off our yacht?
73
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,228
You peasant!
74
00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:08,146
You dare lay your hands
on Marlena from the Hamptons!
75
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:10,186
Eat backpack!
76
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,614
‐(Blair grunts)
‐(shattering)
77
00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:16,363
Bitey the Shark!
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00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,913
The school mascot!
(grunts)
79
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,407
Oops!
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00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:23,369
Blair Bennett,
you know full well
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00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:26,330
that the punishment
for destroying school property is...
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00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:27,371
death!
83
00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:32,462
Just kidding.
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00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:35,422
But you do have to go
to the principal's office.
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00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:37,264
♪♪
86
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:42,722
That's gonna be it from me
and my sidekick, The Gator!
87
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:45,272
I hope you guys have
a fantastic weekend.
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00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:47,847
I'll be spending it
playing laser tag with my son.
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00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,483
Gator, you got
anything fun planned?
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00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,729
Well, lately I've been doing
a thing where I weigh myself
91
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:54,281
before and after
I go to the bathroom.
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00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:58,315
Truly vile stuff.
And on that note:
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00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:00,781
Radio singers:
♪ Byron and Gatorduring drive time ♪
94
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,370
Hey, kids.
How was school today?
95
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:06,458
Fine. Totally uneventful.
Nothing really to report.
96
00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:07,405
Blair got detention.
97
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,544
‐Byron/Rachel: What?
‐Been saying it for years.
98
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:11,251
The girl's a loose cannon.
99
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,336
‐She broke the school mascot.
‐(foghorn blares)
100
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:17,878
‐(laughing, clapping)
‐(audience cheering)
101
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,427
(laughing)
102
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:24,098
Host:
Okay, audience.You see your choices.
103
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,557
‐ One, two, or three.
‐(bell dings 3 times)
104
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:30,348
You guys vote on what animalmakes an appearance.
105
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,733
Our actors are leavingthe stage
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00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,901
so we can prepare.
107
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:37,690
‐What's about to happen?
‐Hashtag: get messy.
108
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:39,534
Ha! Hashtag: get messy.
109
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:41,819
Host:
Okay, time is up.
110
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:43,493
What gon' happen?
111
00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:45,742
‐What gon' happen?
‐Ramon: Time to do what we do.
112
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:49,504
A person is going to
come into the room with a box.
113
00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,748
‐You're gonna read what's
on the top of the box. ‐Gotcha.
114
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:55,460
Host:
Let's go back to the scene,and meet the animal.
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00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,934
Director:
And... action!
116
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:02,215
She broke the school mascot.
117
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,549
‐Byron: Oh.
‐Rachel: Uh...
118
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:07,104
‐Oh, gosh.
‐Audience: Oh!
119
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,689
That's not all.
She actually got in trouble again after that.
120
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:14,356
So, they gave her
double detention.
121
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:16,776
The reason
she got in trouble the second time
122
00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:18,855
is in this box.
123
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,910
‐That big old box?
‐That big old box.
124
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:25,445
Go on, Blair.
Open the box and pick up what's inside.
125
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:28,040
And tell them how you got
double detention.
126
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,406
Aah.
127
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,415
Okay.
128
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:35,205
‐Oh, my God!
‐Aah, what is it? Aah!
129
00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:37,210
‐Oh! Ho!
‐I'm gonna barf.
130
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:38,632
I'm not gonna look.
I'm not looking.
131
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:41,300
‐Oh, I'm about to cry.
‐Oh, rat.
132
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:43,931
What is it?
What is it?
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00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,217
‐Thingy?
‐Woo.
134
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:46,260
Whoa!
135
00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:48,523
‐Owen: Whoa!
‐All: Whoa!
136
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,097
‐(squeals): Oh!
‐Oh, my gosh.
137
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:58,568
‐Oh, oh, oh!
‐Whoa.
138
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,647
How did you get detention?
139
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:05,702
‐Um, so I found him
in, in the garden... ‐Okay...
140
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,539
And‐‐ and I...
and the...
141
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:12,405
‐He was trying to eat me.
‐Yeah, he hasn't stopped.
142
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,424
You find a dinosaur
in the garden. All right.
143
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,535
You know that's not really
a dinosaur, right?
144
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:20,304
‐No, it's‐‐ it's‐‐
‐We have to send you guys to a better school.
145
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:22,590
Can I keep him?
146
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,721
You can keep him
if you can spell "iguana."
147
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,178
I...
148
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:27,507
‐G...
‐No, you can't keep it.
149
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:30,142
‐We don't want that
in our house. ‐Yeah, no.
150
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,890
Rachel, you, you...
you kind of look just like him.
151
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:35,353
‐Ooh!
‐Audience: Ooh!
152
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,563
‐Byron: Ooh!
‐Blair: You want to hold him?
153
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:40,694
Oh, my gosh, no!
Geez La‐guise!
154
00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,242
Owen:
Oh, my gosh!
155
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,645
Uh, he's beautiful!
156
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:47,454
He's very beautiful
in his own way!
157
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,739
He's beauti‐‐
Oh, my gosh!
158
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,373
I'll take that
as a compliment.
159
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:52,999
You have a purse
that looks just like him.
160
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:55,076
‐Rachel: Don't‐‐
‐I‐‐ I swear I saw it in your closet today.
161
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,461
Don't let him hear that.
162
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:58,498
Okay. Ooh‐kay.
163
00:06:58,501 --> 00:06:59,591
Put the lizard away.
164
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:04,634
‐Put‐‐ Put the top on.
Put the top on! ‐Pa‐doo!
165
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:07,553
Bye‐bye, dinosaur!
166
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:08,642
(cheering)
167
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:16,139
As disgusting as that was,
it was kind of cute.
168
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,812
Well, it‐it may have been cute,
169
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,574
but you are still in trouble.
170
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,736
This is your fifth detention
this year.
171
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,485
Actually, it's number eight.
172
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:30,738
Sorry. I think I have
an addiction to snitching.
173
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:33,122
All right. You know the drill.
You're grounded for a week.
174
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,909
What? I'm supposed to be
Marlena from the Hamptons
175
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,584
and poison Ruth's fiance
176
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,672
so she can fight me
during "Drama Sisters."
177
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,668
That way we can
officially be friends again.
178
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:44,340
I don't know what anything
you just said means,
179
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,379
but you are definitely
not doing it.
180
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:48,093
Mom, you're so unfair!
181
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,513
Blair, don't talk
to your mother that way.
182
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:51,642
You just ruined her weekend.
183
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,348
Now she has to stay
at home with you.
184
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:55,888
Whoa. Won't be both
be staying home with her?
185
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,942
But Owen and I
are going to laser tag.
186
00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,686
It's okay.
I don't really want to go.
187
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,938
No, you need to relax.
And you're going to relax,
188
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,980
even if I have
to hold you down and force you to.
189
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,695
I can take Owen.
I love laser tag.
190
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,486
It's strategy and marksmanship.
191
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,159
I was in the military.
Do you know how many people I've taken out?
192
00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:14,985
At laser tag?
193
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:18,924
Look, Rachel,
you're just more of the disciplinarian type,
194
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,625
and I'm more fun.
195
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,535
Oh, no, he didn't.
196
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,551
The show's over.
Don't you have anywhere to go?
197
00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:27,587
My mom doesn't pick me up
until 4:00.
198
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:31,593
Look, Byron, I am tired
of being the bad guy,
199
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,564
while you get to be
"Fun Dad."
200
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,765
Trust me,
I try to be less fun, but I can't.
201
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,305
It's my curse.
202
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:39,348
I'm too fun.
203
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,613
Please. I could
really use your help
204
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,765
with this whole
parenting thing.
205
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,488
Okay. You're right.
206
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:50,405
Blair, I'm gonna
stay at home with you,
207
00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:52,655
and Rachel's gonna go
to laser tag with Owen.
208
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,327
Thank you, honey.
209
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,615
Yes! Laser tag!
210
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:01,208
Oh! Looks like I gotta go
weigh myself again.
211
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:06,796
Sorry you won't get to do
your "Drama Sisters" reunion.
212
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:10,466
Oh. With Byron in charge,
I'll find a way.
213
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:14,467
So help me,
I will find a way.
214
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:18,023
Uh‐oh.
I was feeling sorry for you,
215
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:21,016
but now I'm just scared
for my dad.
216
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:23,859
You're about to play
laser tag with my mom.
217
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,765
You should be scared
for yourself.
218
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:31,317
(audience cheering)
219
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:32,661
Yeah!
220
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:34,986
‐We got‐‐
‐We just held an iguana.
221
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,621
Not a lot of people
can say that.
222
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,462
♪♪
223
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,205
Is the news
already at the mall?
224
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:45,499
Yeah.
They're going live at 2:00.
225
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:46,802
Do you still think
you're gonna make it?
226
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:50,465
Don't worry.
Byron's not good at being the bad guy.
227
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:52,505
He's more like a friend
than a parent.
228
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,679
I'll just set my phasers
to manipulate,
229
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,637
and be at the mall in no time.
230
00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:58,558
See you soon, dah‐ling.
231
00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,851
'Sup, Gator?
Whatcha doing here?
232
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,441
My mom kicked me
out of the house,
233
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,016
'cause she's got
her monthly poker game.
234
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,191
Probably for the best.
235
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:09,479
Those birds always get
a little hands‐y.
236
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,034
Hey, hey, hey!
237
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:12,947
You know you're not
supposed to be watching that.
238
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,446
It's right here
on your mom's list.
239
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:17,367
No TV, no Internet,
no fidget spinning.
240
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:18,697
How old is this list?
241
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,713
Oh, man.
Why do I have to be punished for what she did?
242
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:25,285
The school can't
give me detention. I'm a grown boy.
243
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,501
This Tuesday,
I'll be 37 and a half.
244
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:31,552
Bruh, Rachel's trusting me
to make sure Blair doesn't have fun.
245
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,718
And I totally accept
my punishment.
246
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:35,386
I'm prepared to have
a no‐fun day.
247
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,345
Buuuuut?
248
00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:40,469
But, I just need to meet up
with Ruth real quick.
249
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,723
It won't take long.
250
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:44,484
So, you think you could
do me a solid? Please?
251
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,687
No, Blair.
Your mom put me in charge.
252
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,268
Come on!
We're like friends.
253
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,443
We are friends.
254
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,730
And as friends,
we're all gonna sit here,
255
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,824
and do absolutely nothing.
256
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,990
(huffs)
257
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,785
Oh, this so boring!
258
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,129
This day was supposed
to be awesome!
259
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,705
Laser tag,
the new "Diesel Team" movie,
260
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:11,421
the botanical gardens!
261
00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:15,011
Hold up.
The new "Diesel Team" movie's out?
262
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:18,054
"Diesel Team"?
Huh.
263
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:19,552
You like those movies?
264
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:21,814
Like? I love 'em.
265
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,766
But that's not
what this day is about.
266
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,766
Good. I hate "Diesel Team."
267
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:28,649
If you really
want to punish me,
268
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,686
make me sit through
one of those dumb movies.
269
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:33,476
I don't see anything
on this list
270
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,704
about not taking her
to the movies.
271
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,905
Yeah, but I don't
think Rachel would be cool with that.
272
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,871
But Mom left you in charge
of punishing me.
273
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:44,118
And if the kid
hates the movie,
274
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,080
sounds like a Byron‐type
punishment to me.
275
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:52,051
That does sound like
a Byron‐type punishment. (laughs)
276
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,255
It's playing at the mall
at 1:30.
277
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,125
Oh, no. Not the mall!
278
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,382
See! The little criminal
hates the mall!
279
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,974
(chuckles)
Then it's decided.
280
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,180
Blair gets
"Diesel Team" detention!
281
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:07,517
This is gonna be
the most horrible day ever.
282
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,728
(Gator/Byron imitating
engines revving)
283
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,150
(gruff voice):
Move outta my way!
284
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:17,953
Hey, Owen.
Look what I entered my name as.
285
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,276
"Dogbarf"?
286
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:24,371
Pretty fun, right?
See, I'm fun!
287
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:25,579
"Dogbarf"!
288
00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:29,788
I'm sorry if my heart's
not in this, Rachel.
289
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,671
I'd rather be
practicing basketball,
290
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:33,458
but Dad made me
come here to relax.
291
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:35,921
Yeah, but people who relax
don't get on varsity.
292
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,092
Forget Byron.
293
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,010
I'm gonna show you
how laser tag
294
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,388
can make you
better at basketball.
295
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:41,755
Say what, now?
296
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:45,564
Think about it.
The skills you hone in combat
297
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,846
are the same you need
to succeed at sports.
298
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,690
Teamwork. Defense.
299
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,806
The will to destroy
your enemies.
300
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:55,443
Rachel, I think
I'm starting to relax!
301
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,571
These suckers
aren't gonna know what him 'em.
302
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,148
Let's practice
some basketball.
303
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,025
See the kid with the ears?
304
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,531
I think he's their weak spot.
305
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:06,833
When the buzzer sounds,
we tune up that little pip‐squeak.
306
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:14,129
(fast music, engines revving
on movie screen)
307
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:18,165
See, Byron?
Isn't this a great compromise?
308
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,592
I'm having a terrible time.
309
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,892
Excuse me, sir,
but you can't bring food into the movie theater.
310
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:29,431
Oh, no, I‐‐
I bought this here.
311
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:33,064
That's an entire
roasted chicken, a two‐liter of soda, and‐‐
312
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,812
Is that a can of baked beans?
313
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,189
Yeah, it's the chicken
and beans combo.
314
00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:43,873
Ruth, try to stall
the camera crew. I'll be there in five.
315
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:48,329
‐Byron, I gotta run
to the bathroom. ‐Okay.
316
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,657
But don't go anywhere else.
317
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,043
Remember,
this is a punishment.
318
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,290
You're gonna
suffer through every second of it.
319
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,919
Joke's on the usher.
320
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,629
I got my pockets
crammed full of food.
321
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,840
You want some pocket beans?
322
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,012
(explosion on movie screen)
323
00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:07,176
‐Rachel: Whoa!
‐(Owen laughing)
324
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:10,180
That was amazing when
you took out that whole nest of snipers.
325
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,983
Aw, you got some
great moves, yourself.
326
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,726
Like when you took
that dork's laser away?
327
00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:15,728
And you lasered him
in the chest with his own laser?
328
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:16,860
That was hilarious!
329
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,525
Excuse me.
330
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,145
We've had several complaints.
331
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:24,242
You guys are ruining the game.
Creating a hostile environment.
332
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:27,947
War is a hostile environment.
333
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,500
Check the scoreboard.
We're number one!
334
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,996
Both:
We're number one! We're number one!
335
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:36,248
‐We're number one!
‐Listen, Dogfart‐‐
336
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,250
Ah, that's Dogbarf.
337
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:41,963
Major Dogbarf, to you.
338
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:44,094
‐(foghorn sounds)
‐(laughing, clapping)
339
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:45,552
(audience cheering)
340
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,062
Host:
Okay, audience.
341
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,676
You choose what happensto Owen and Rachel.
342
00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:53,943
Lock in your vote.
343
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:56,765
‐They're deciding our fate
as we speak. ‐Yes.
344
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:59,401
‐I heard some "oohs."
That's not good. ‐(laughing)
345
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:01,028
‐It's...
‐about...
346
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,145
‐to...
‐go...
347
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,491
down.
348
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:06,026
Host: Votes are in.Let's see what you chose
349
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,740
for Owen and Rachel.
350
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,330
Here we go, baby.
351
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,040
Director:
And...
352
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,826
Oh, that's Dogbarf.
353
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:17,751
Major Dogbarf to you.
354
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:21,629
Major Dogbarf,
you're gonna have to leave.
355
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:22,959
‐(laughs)
‐And to make you do,
356
00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:24,974
I'm gonna have
Officer Stubbins
357
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:26,716
‐escort you out.
‐(bell dinging)
358
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,927
Audience:
Ooh!
359
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,638
Officer St‐‐ Oh, my‐‐
360
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,768
Clear the perimeter.
Clear the perimeter.
361
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,225
‐You clear the perimeter.
‐Yeah.
362
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:35,935
(chuckles)
363
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,975
Mrs. Dogbarf,
I know who you are.
364
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:40,399
And your reign of power
ends now.
365
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:43,068
My reign of power
is just getting started,
366
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:44,987
Officer What's‐Your‐Face...
367
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,986
‐Stubbings.
‐I'm not leaving your side.
368
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:49,028
‐Excuse me?
‐Oh, what? (laughs)
369
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:51,241
Can you tell
I forgot to wear deodorant today?
370
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:53,162
‐(chuckles)
‐Oh! All right.
371
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,291
Audience:
Oh!
372
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,907
Go, Stubbins.
Get 'em out of here!
373
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:57,923
All right.
Ladies first.
374
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:00,876
Go ahead. You, too.
375
00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,957
(audience cheering)
376
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,883
This dude's gonna be cuffed
to me for two whole scenes, now.
377
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,473
♪ Na na na nana na na na ♪
378
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:14,891
I can't believe
Blair ditched us.
379
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,141
I checked all
the other theaters but can't find her anywhere.
380
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,523
Well, she's definitely not
in the women's bathroom.
381
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:21,149
The only people in there
are a bunch of screaming, angry ladies.
382
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,230
Oh, you've gotta be
kidding me.
383
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:26,443
A somber day
here at the mall.
384
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:29,074
I'm here for the closing of
"Ice Cream Abdul‐Jabbar"
385
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:30,701
with Marlena
from the Hamptons,
386
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:33,198
who's been dining here
since she was...
387
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:35,041
zero.
388
00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:38,496
‐Marlena, you have some nerve‐‐
‐Byron: Blair.
389
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:41,287
Byron, I can explain.
390
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:42,632
Explain what?
391
00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:44,917
How I tried to be nice
and you totally took advantage of me?
392
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:48,511
And we missed the end
of "Diesel Team." Way to go, Claire!
393
00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:51,644
My name's Blair.
394
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:53,256
Blair, you said
we were friends.
395
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:55,222
But that's
not how friends treat each other.
396
00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:57,023
Byron, I'm sorry.
397
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,426
You are in big trouble.
398
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:01,354
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Pump the brakes, turbo.
399
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:05,651
Byron? Blair?
400
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:08,490
Uh‐oh.
Now we're both in big trouble.
401
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,701
Okay, when I left home,
402
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,527
you guys were both
supposed to be there,
403
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:18,043
and now you're at the mall,
so you want to explain to me
404
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,787
why you're here
when you're grounded?
405
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,130
Why are you handcuffed
to this dude?
406
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:27,416
Oh, don't change the subject.
407
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:30,171
This is not important.
What is important
408
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:33,304
is that Blair is grounded,
and you're at the mall.
409
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:36,012
I took her to a movie
to punish her,
410
00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:37,563
and now that
I'm saying it out loud,
411
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:40,307
‐I realize that was
a terrible idea. ‐Ha.
412
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:43,099
Byron, I don't even know
what to say to you right now.
413
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:45,694
Mom, this is all my fault.
414
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:49,280
Don't be mad at Byron.
He was trying to do the right thing.
415
00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:52,527
Byron, I really do
think of you as a friend.
416
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:53,700
But, you're right.
417
00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:56,948
I didn't treat you like one.
And I'm sorry.
418
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:02,077
Well, I think I realize
I can't always be your friend.
419
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,921
Sometimes I have to be
your parent. And Rachel,
420
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:08,297
all this time I thought
you being so uncool was uncool.
421
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:10,376
Turns out,
it's pretty cool to not be cool.
422
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:12,631
I mean, not cool in like,
an actually cool way. But cool in like,
423
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,553
"Hey, you know you can
rent DVDs from the library?"
424
00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,602
"Oh, that's cool!"
Kind of way.
425
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:19,141
What did you just say?
426
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:20,810
I'm just saying,
I finally understand
427
00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,348
why you're so mean
to the kids.
428
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:25,185
Come here. Thank you.
429
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,113
That's him!
430
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,898
That's the kid
who took my laser away
431
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,651
and lasered me
with my own laser!
432
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:34,073
He goes to my school.
433
00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:36,121
‐Hey, what's going on?
‐Nothing.
434
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,405
Just a little
misunderstanding.
435
00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:39,158
Rachel and I got
banned from the mall.
436
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,000
‐Owen!
‐What? I'm a snitch!
437
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:43,245
And a snitch gotta snitch.
438
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:45,537
Look, I might not be
the best person
439
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,381
to help Owen
learn how to relax.
440
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,796
I‐I think we're a little
too alike.
441
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,005
So, that's what's going on
down here, Jim.
442
00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:55,546
"Ice Cream Abdul‐Jabbar"
shutting its doors after 25 years,
443
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:59,681
and some weird family
is having a very public
444
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,980
heart‐to‐heart moment
while being kicked out of the mall.
445
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,976
I guess.
446
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:11,232
(action music
on movie screen)
447
00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:16,318
Thanks for letting me finish
"Diesel Team 7," everybody.
448
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:19,032
Well, it seems smart
to lay low for an hour or so
449
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:21,373
till the real security
stops looking for us at the exits.
450
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:22,999
Hey!
451
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,455
By the way, thanks to all
the drama from you guys,
452
00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:28,326
I didn't think about
basketball for like, 30 minutes back there.
453
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,634
All:
"Drama Family"!
454
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:33,208
Now, let me catch you guys
up to speed. In the last‐‐
455
00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:35,224
‐(foghorn blares)
‐(laughter)
456
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:38,466
(audience cheering)
457
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,636
We're still cuffed!
458
00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:43,769
‐(bell dings)
‐Host: Okay, this isthe last vote.
459
00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:47,056
What kind of movieare they going to see?
460
00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:48,771
Let's go, let's go,
let's go.
461
00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,861
‐We're in this together,
whether you like it or not. ‐We are.
462
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,316
I want to get messy.
I want all of us to get messy.
463
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:56,067
We're gonna start.
Let me catch you up to speed.
464
00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:58,570
Host:
And let's go backto the scene.
465
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,332
Director:
And, action!
466
00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:02,905
Now, let me catch you guys
up to speed.
467
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:05,080
In the last movie,
Rick Diesel...
468
00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,753
We have bad news.
469
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:11,708
Our film caught on fire,
so "Diesel Team 7" will not be shown tonight.
470
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:15,051
Instead, we will be showing
the scary movie
471
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,627
"The Demon, the Witch,
and the Cabin in the Woods."
472
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:20,393
‐(bell dings)
‐(audience cheering)
473
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:22,926
The good news
is that this film
474
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,890
will be shown in our new,
innovative,
475
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,980
4‐D Sense‐O‐Rama.
476
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:29,726
Enjoy your movie.
Put your goggles on.
477
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:32,479
‐It's all part of
the movie experience. ‐Yay!
478
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:34,531
I didn't know
you guys did this. I'm excited.
479
00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:35,985
(audience laughing)
480
00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:38,645
Guys, I have
a bad feeling about this movie.
481
00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:39,824
Me, too.
482
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,412
Male actor:
I'm sorry, Jenny.
483
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:42,907
I forgot about that demon
484
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:44,828
that's been haunting us.
485
00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:47,497
Female actor:
Oh, no. The only wayfor us to hide
486
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,536
is to cover ourselvesin this mud.
487
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:51,460
(Blair shrieks)
488
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:54,249
‐Male actor:
Good idea. ‐Oh!
489
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,423
(audience groaning)
490
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,547
I'm gonna do‐‐
I'm gonna do a fly.
491
00:20:59,550 --> 00:21:01,590
Do a little wiper.
492
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:04,144
Female actor:
Oh, no. I thinkthe demon's coming.
493
00:21:04,138 --> 00:21:06,768
I can't see him,but I sure can smell him!
494
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,636
Male actor:
Oh, that's horrible!
495
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,522
No. No, no, no.
496
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,439
(screaming): No!
What is that?
497
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:15,478
‐It's...
‐Are those dirty socks?
498
00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:17,443
‐Woo‐hoo‐hoo! That stinks!
‐(audience laughing)
499
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,533
Male actor:
Quiet.
500
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:20,778
He's right behind us.
501
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,120
‐(scary music playing)
‐I can feel his demonic drool
502
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,195
on the back of my neck.
503
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:29,038
Oh, no! Oh, no!
504
00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:31,168
Audience:
Oh!
505
00:21:31,165 --> 00:21:33,705
‐(Byron chuckles)
‐Owen: Whoa, no. My gosh!
506
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:36,089
Demon drool
is surprisingly cold.
507
00:21:36,086 --> 00:21:39,416
‐It's going down my shirt.
‐Owen: Yeah.
508
00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:42,763
Female actress:
Oh, no. The demon'sabout to throw up on us!
509
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,680
‐Audience: No!
‐No! Why would he?
510
00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:48,849
Both actors:
Oh, no!He's throwing up on us!
511
00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:51,849
‐(sloshing)
‐(Byron yells)
512
00:21:52,603 --> 00:21:54,023
Ew!
513
00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:56,481
‐Ooh!
‐Why is it always pea soup?
514
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,982
‐(Owen yells)
‐Oh, that stinks! (laughing)
515
00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:01,404
Ooh, I'm about to barf
on the demon.
516
00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:03,663
Both actors:
Oh, no.It's happening all at once!
517
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,986
‐Why? No!
‐Aah!
518
00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:07,701
‐Audience: Oh!
‐No!
519
00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:10,041
‐Aah! That thing stinks!
‐Aah!
520
00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:12,577
‐Byron: Oh! (laughing)
‐What is that?
521
00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:15,001
‐(yelling)
‐(audience laughing)
522
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,380
‐(Byron yelling)
‐(audience clapping)
523
00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:19,508
There they are,
right there.
524
00:22:19,505 --> 00:22:22,505
Aah! Scatter!
Everyone meet at the car!
525
00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:24,428
‐(Byron grunting)
‐Owen: Oh! Oh! Aah!
526
00:22:24,426 --> 00:22:25,966
And that's our show!
527
00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:29,390
‐You guys have been
a great crowd! ‐(audience cheering
528
00:22:29,390 --> 00:22:31,390
‐♪♪
‐Tobie: Woo!
529
00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:40,232
♪ Na na na nana na na na ♪
530
00:22:43,946 --> 00:22:45,606
♪ Na na na nana na na na ♪
531
00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:48,244
♪♪
532
00:22:52,955 --> 00:22:54,955
♪ Na na na nana na na na ♪
533
00:22:55,005 --> 00:22:59,555
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