Original subtitles

Tobie: Welcome to "Just Roll With It"!

(theme music playing)

(audience cheering)

♪♪

(audience cheering)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪♪

‐(bell ringing) ‐(kids cheering)

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

(audience cheering)

Tobie: Woo!

‐Tobie: Woo! ‐Ramon: Yeah!

‐Tobie: Woo! ‐(audience cheering)

Welcome to "Just Roll With It"!

‐Tobie: Yeah! ‐(audience cheering)

Like a lot of TV shows,

this one is taped in front of a live studio audience.

(audience cheering)

But unlike any other show,

the cast gets to vote on what happens to us in scenes.

Uh, Kaylin, I think you mean the audience gets to vote.

(audience cheering)

Eh. It was worth a shot.

So when you, the audience, hear this sound:

(foghorn blares)

The scene will stop, you will vote, and we'll have to:

All: "Just Roll With It"!

(audience cheering)

Tobie: Let's start the show!

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

(audience applause)

♪♪

And again, I apologize for getting the giggles earlier this week

while reading the funeral announcements.

I was thinking about a funny story I saw.

But it had nothing to do with the deceased.

So, again...

my deepest condolences...

to the grieving family...

of Mr. Harry McButt. (chuckles softly)

(soft chuckling continues)

And all I can say is:

Radio singers: ♪ Oops, we made a mistake ♪

And we're clear.

I didn't think we needed to make that apology jingle,

but we use it a lot.

The kids at school actually think,

"Oops, we made a mistake" is the name of your show.

Speaking of school, Blair, Owen, I need the final list of kids

you want to invite to your joint birthday party

so I can complete my background checks on their parents.

‐Kidding! ‐No, you're not.

No, I'm not.

Our party is going to be great.

You know, since I skipped a grade,

I'm seen as a "younger kid."

But this will be the perfect opportunity

for my classmates to see me as the mature man I have become.

I'm just excited because a joint birthday party means double the guests,

and double the presents.

We're gonna fleece these suckers for all they're worth.

Uh, hey, Dad.

I was wondering,

do you think that DJ B‐Day is going to making a visit again this year?

‐Who's DJ B‐Day? ‐Oh, he's the freshest,

illest, flyest MC around.

DJ B‐Day! Wikki‐wikki‐wikki‐wah!

Wikki‐wikki‐wikki why am I just hearing about this?

You know I have this party scheduled down to the minute.

Yeah, but DJ B‐Day's turned out

every birthday Owen's had since he was six.

He busts out the sickest freestyles with his partner,

Lil Birthday Boy.

You still want DJ B‐Day to come, right, buddy?

You're not too old for it?

(scoffs) Too old? For something we started when I was six?

Noooooo! (laughs)

I can't wait. Yay!

♪ DJ B‐Day ♪

Okay, we have 30 yeses.

Now, if they spend 20 dollars on each of us,

we can return everything and clear a cool six hundo each.

Ka‐ching!

What's wrong? You didn't ka‐ching with me.

It's just, this DJ B‐Day stuff,

it was fine when I was a little kid,

but the whole thing is sort of embarrassing

for the mature, adult man that I'm blossoming into.

So, tell Byron that you don't want to do it.

Who cares? We're rich!

I can't do that. It would crush him.

He looks forward to it every year.

Promise me you won't say anything.

Blair! (chuckles) B‐Town.

I couldn't help but notice

that all the kids got invitations to your big b‐day party,

and I was just wondering if you tried to give me one,

but I was away from my desk or something.

Oh, yeah. No.

I was pretty much just inviting students.

Right. Of course.

Duh. (laughs)

Okay. Well, anyway...

Just know I got nothing going on this weekend.

What a lonely, lonely man.

Hey, Ruth. Get my invite?

You bet. Wouldn't miss a fellow grade‐skipper's birthday!

Later.

I guess that's another 20 bucks each.

‐(locker slams) ‐Bruh, are you serious?

Ruth Booth is coming to our party?

We just started hanging out.

We bonded over the fact that we both skipped a grade.

She's great. We're both into‐‐

Don't try to sell me on Ruth "The Backstabber" Booth.

That's her middle name?

She was my best friend till fourth grade.

Then she moved up a grade, and ditched me.

So, I'd appreciate it if you uninvited her.

I can't betray a fellow grade‐skipper!

Ruth is the only girl who's ever "friend‐broken‐up" with me.

Look at this face.

I don't get dumped. I do the dumps.

And I don't want her at my birthday.

‐She won't be at your birthday. ‐Thank you.

'Cause she'll be at my birthday.

Owen, you better watch your back,

because you just messed around and started a birthday war.

Joke's on you, fool.

I love a good birthday war.

‐Good. Then it's decided. ‐It is.

Both: Birthday war!

♪♪

(audience cheering)

♪♪

P‐p‐party people,

I have "His" and "Her" and "Gender Neutral"

goodie bags for every‐‐ Whaaaat is this thing doing here?

I rented it. It's a big spinny thing

you can ride in. Isn't it cool?

‐I got next. ‐I already called next.

Hey, no one has next.

I'm riding this thing till I black out!

It doesn't matter, anyway.

I've got to get ready to meet my new best friend: Ruth.

Shouldn't you be getting in your costume, Lil Birthday Boy?

Both: Birthday war!

Uh... (chuckles)

Honey?

Have you noticed any weirdness between the kids lately?

I honestly haven't been paying much attention to them

since the big spinny thing came.

I got a steal on this at the rental house

because someone got hurt on it at a different party.

Here's your horse, Mr. Blatt.

‐(Byron chuckles) ‐Remember, you break it, you buy it.

No one asked for a horse. Why do we have a horse?

I got a steal on him because he bit a guy at another party.

His name is Pickles.

‐Oh. ‐(doorbell rings)

‐Make yourself at home, Pickles. ‐(Pickles neighs)

Oh. Hi!

I was trying to go to the movie theater,

but I must have written down the wrong address.

(gasps) Is there a party going on?

Come on in, Mr. Penworth.

Oh, hi, Ruth. It's been a while.

I know. I see you got a new husband.

Hope this one works out better.

I love you, spinny thing!

(sighs) Too soon to tell.

Honey, Ruth is here. You should go over and say hi.

Ugh, I don't want her here.

I'm so angry it's making me feel short of breath.

My arm is tingling. Am I too young and pretty to have a heart attack?

Well, I just checked out those symptoms,

and it says you're being ridiculous.

‐You‐‐ ‐(foghorn blares)

(audience cheering)

Host: Okay, audience. You get to decide how Rachel helps Blair.

Lock in your vote.

Don't make me eat anything.

I'm just super excited on what's gonna happen,

and honestly, I'm not worrying about it.

What's gonna happen?

‐The roar of the crowd is insane! ‐Woo!

And then you are gonna read your next line from your cell phone.

Okay.

Host: Votes are in. Now back to the scene.

Director: Let's roll, please.

Director: Action!

Well...

I just checked those symptoms and it says...

that your voice will probably be gone for the next few minutes.

But don't worry. I can hide behind you

and be your voice while you talk to your other guests.

Rachel: All right? So...

Which guest do you want to talk to first, over here?

Okay.

I'm Blair. I'm popular.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Hey, everybody, did you hear? My mom's the best.

She's... so pretty.

I got all my looks from my mom.

Boy, I am hungry.

I hope Byron brings that tray over.

I'm famished.

Oh, look at this!

Mm. You know what I crave right now?

Messy food.

And before I eat it,

I'm gonna grab a donut and smash it on my face.

‐(audience laughs) ‐Mm. But in the front.

And harder.

(snickers)

Ooh, that's so good for my complexion I think I'll rub it all in.

Mm‐mm‐mm.

Oh, it's like natural powder!

Ooh, and what is that? A moisturizer over there?

That sour cream or whate‐‐

Mm, let me moisturize. The powder can get drying.

Mm, I gotta moisturize. Mm.

‐(laughs) ‐Rachel: Oh!

You know what looks better than this is those deviled eggs.

And I always eat them four at a time.

(audience laughing)

Watch, everybody! I can put four of 'em in my mouth!

(audience laughing)

Woo! Here we go! Mm.

Oh, yes!

‐(audience laughing) ‐(Byron laughing)

(audience clapping)

That was good, Blair!

I feel like my voice is coming back.

Thanks for the kind words, Mom.

Hey, buddy. I got my over‐sized clock

and your funky cape. It's time for DJ B‐Day

and his partner, Lil Birthday Boy!

Awesome.

I'll be sure to get a front row seat.

You know, Dad, I'm really excited for DJ B‐Day,

but I'm a little worried that it might be a tough act to follow,

since it's so cool and everything.

That is a good point.

I guess I could do it after we cut the cake.

Cake cutting is promptly at 15:00 hours,

directly after the 10 minutes of gift opening

and before the seven minutes of video games.

As you were.

Aah!

That horse bit me!

Uh, let's get some ice on that.

You don't sue people, do you?

Hey, Owen. Happy birthday.

I see you got that horse that bites everybody.

Hi, Pickles!

‐(Pickles neighs) ‐Oh, hey, Ruth.

I totally forgot you were coming to this party.

Probably because I have so many friends.

Ruth, will you excuse us?

What are you doing?

I told you I didn't want Ruth here in the first place.

But since she's here, she needs to know that without her,

I am thriving.

I just think you're jealous.

No, I'm mad, because you stabbed me in the back, just like Ruth.

You're supposed to be my step‐brother.

And you violated the step‐bro code.

There is no step‐bro code in times of Birthday War.

I can't believe how much blood I lost.

Hey, Byron.

Owen was just telling me how much he was hoping

you'd do that DJ B‐Day routine with him.

Right now? I thought he wanted to wait.

No. He said right now.

And he wants you to make sure

that everybody in the party is watching.

Especially Ruth Booth.

Well, all right. I'll go get my boom box.

Okay, Owen.

You ruin my birthday?

I ruin yours.

‐(crashing) ‐(grunts)

(audience cheering, laughing)

Hi.

You are a champion trouper.

‐There, I'll put some on my‐‐ ‐Feel good, right?

♪♪

♪♪

Yes, we have an unconscious adult male.

He was bitten by this jerk horse.

Yeah, Pickles. We have him this week.

So, Blair.

How've the last couple years been?

Fine. Great. Why?

Did Owen send you over here to rub it in my face?

‐Rub what in your face? ‐Knock it off, Ruth.

You know what this is really about.

We used to be tight, and then you dumped me.

Well, it's your loss, sister.

Blair, you dumped me.

You stopped calling me after I skipped a grade.

You would never eat with me at lunch.

You didn't even invite me to your birthday parties anymore.

Well, I thought you wouldn't want to go

to a younger kid's party, and...

Wait a minute.

So you didn't want to stop being friends with me?

No. I thought you did.

I thought you were over me.

I wish you would have just said something.

♪ Oops, I made a mistake ♪

(music starts on boom box)

Oh, no. I've done something terrible.

Hey, hey, hey!

Boys and girls!

It's time for DJ B‐Day

in the house! (laughs)

♪ My name is DJ B‐Day and I'm here to say ♪

♪ I love birthday parties in a major way ♪

What is happening?

♪ But before we get the cake and open the toys ♪

♪ Let me hear from my homie, Lil Birthday Boy ♪

♪ Come on up, Owen, Come on up, Owen ♪

Owen's going to be the laughingstock of the entire school.

No, he won't. I will.

Hey, DJ B‐Day. Can I be your Lil Birthday Boy this year?

‐Um, if it's okay with Owen. ‐Okay by me. Totally okay!

♪ This is the coolest party in the town ♪

♪ Now Lil Birthday Boy, take it while I break it down ♪

♪ It's my birthday, and I'mma share it with you ♪

♪ It's fun to be with friends, both old and new ♪

♪ We got tons of cake and games to play ♪

♪ First, everyone scream, "Happy Birthday" ♪

Byron, Rachel, Blair: ♪ Happy Birthday! ♪

(Byron vocalizing)

(Byron, Rachel vocalizing)

Rachel: Ooh, get it. There it is.

Mmm.

(music stops)

(scattered clapping)

Pickles!

Woo! Great job, you two.

‐Thanks. Sorry about your cake. ‐Aah.

Aw. That means we don't get our birthday wishes.

Well, tell me what your wishes were, and I'll see what I can do.

‐(foghorn blares) ‐(audience cheering)

Okay. Okay, great.

‐Okay, thank you so much. ‐Host: Okay, everyone.

‐What's the birthday wish going to be? ‐(bell dings 3 times)

Vote for your choice.

Man: Let's get 'em out, guys.

I was like, we're there. We did it.

There's only, like, five lines left in the whole script.

‐Ramon: I know, right? ‐So now we're just like...

I hope they bring it hard.

I just didn't like their reaction when they saw 'em.

(imitates foghorn)

Bum, bum, bum. Ohhhh!

Owen has a new line of dialogue, okay?

You're gonna take a note out of your pocket and read it out loud.

Host: And now back to the scene.

‐Director: Action! ‐Tell me what your wishes were and I'll see what I can do.

‐One second. ‐(Blair laughs)

Well, I wrote down my birthday wish, so...

I'd have to‐‐ I'd have it on me

when I blew out my candles.

And what I really wanted this year

was for my dad to get a new haircut.

‐(bell dings) ‐(Byron yells)

(audience laughing, clapping)

‐(Blair laughing) ‐(audience cheering)

(laughing)

‐Whatever you want, son. ‐Yes! Please.

‐Dessert truck's here! ‐(door slams)

Sorry I'm late, Byron. Traffic was terrible.

Anyway, thank you for letting me use your son's birthday party

to launch my new side business: "Cakes 'N Cuts"!

‐Let's get this going. ‐All: Yeah!

Owen: Yes!

‐You see this good‐looking curl, son. ‐(Owen laughing)

‐Now, what kind of cut do you want? ‐(foghorn blares)

‐(Owen yelling) ‐(all laughing)

Host: Okay. This is the last vote. Big decision.

Lock in your choices.

(audience laughing)

Owen: Oh, my gosh.

Host: And let's go back to the scene.

‐Director: Action! ‐The votes are in.

And I'm very proud to announce that the winner is:

‐A Mohawk! ‐(bell dinging)

(audience cheering)

And don't worry, Byron. I'm not gonna cut your hair.

‐He is. ‐What?

‐(Byron laughing) ‐(Owen shrieks with laughter)

This is my barber.

Oh! It's my actual barber.

(audience cheering)

Give me a hug.

(rhythmic clapping)

(indistinct)

‐(clapping increases) ‐(clippers whirring)

(chuckles nervously)

Oh, my gosh.

Just shave. Just go with it.

We don't have time. Go faster!

Do it fast, do it fast, do it fast, do it fast, Tyler.

‐Take it up higher. ‐All: Yeah!

‐Owen: Yeah! ‐Byron: Yeah! Yeah!

Blair, Owen: Higher, higher!

Audience (chanting): Higher! Higher! Higher! Higher!

(laughing)

Oh, my ears sticking out, aren't they?

I've got these big ol' ears.

I'm just rolling with it. I'm just rolling with it.

(laughing)

Aah!

I felt that one. (laughs)

‐(Owen yells) ‐(Byron yells)

That looks good.

‐(cheering) ‐Dessert Guy: Wow.

Don't you think it's only fair

that Rachel gets her hair cut, too?

‐(Blair shrieks) ‐Yeah!

‐You're not my barber, though. ‐Right this way.

(audience cheering, laughing)

Dessert Guy: All right.

(clippers whirring)

That's real loud. (giggles nervously)

All right, wait one sec.

Before she gets her hair cut,

I think we need to wash her hair.

‐Let's bring out the dunk tank that we have back there. ‐What?

(audience cheering, clapping)

Oh, no.

Audience (chanting): Root beer! Root beer! Root beer!

Root beer! Root beer! Root beer!

‐Root beer! ‐(cheering, applause)

Woo!

Dessert Guy: I should point out

that it is filled with root beer.

So, you're about to be part of a root beer float!

‐(Byron laughing) Woo! ‐(audience cheering)

Woo‐hoo!

Each of you get a ball.

Audience (chanting): Dunk her! Dunk her!

Dunk her! Dunk her!

Dunk her! Dunk her!

‐Dessert guy: All right. Do it. ‐Audience: Dunk her! Dunk her!

‐(buzzer sounds) ‐Oh! So close!

‐Dessert Guy: Owen. ‐Bad aim! Bad aim!

‐(buzzer sounds) ‐Dessert Guy: Oh!

(Blair giggles)

‐(buzzer sounds) ‐Owen: Oh!

‐(crashing) ‐All: Oh!

I felt that.

Audience (chanting): Push it! Push it! Push it! Push it!

You know what the first rule of show business is?

You can't let down the audience.

‐(dinging) ‐(audience cheering)

Dessert Guy: Hmm.

(all clapping)

(laughing, clapping)

Dessert Guy: How does it taste?

Delicious!

(all cheering)

(Owen laughing)

That was awesome.

Blair, can I talk to you for a second?

Thanks for rescuing me from DJ B‐Day.

I don't get it, though. Why did you do something nice?

I thought we were at war.

This is the first and last time you will ever hear this.

I was...

...wrong?

Kind of. Maybe.

I think I took the birthday war too far.

I should have just talked to Ruth about how I felt

instead of taking it out on you.

Birthday truce?

Birthday truce.

Well, I guess it's time for Lil Birthday Boy

to drop some truth bombs of his own.

‐Dad? ‐Wikki‐wikki what, son?

We really need to talk about DJ B‐Day.

Are you bummed out you didn't get to do it this year?

‐We could do it again. ‐No!

Dad... I think I've outgrown it.

Oh!

Thank you!

Oh!

I'm so tired of that corny routine!

‐What? ‐I thought you loved it.

I thought you loved it!

Well, I guess...

here's to the end of DJ B‐Day.

And to the end of our show!

(audience cheering)

Tobie: You guys have been a terrific crowd!

‐Woo! ‐(audience cheering)

What's up, what's up, what's up?

♪♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪♪

(audience cheering)

♪♪

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