All language subtitles for Gangsters.Gamblers.and.Geezers.2016.WEBRip.XviD.MP3-XVID

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Oi, Krish, Lee get out
the fucking car geez,

my boss is gonna be
back in a minute.

- See you, baby.
- Hands off the motor.

- How are you doin'?
- Sir.

- You alright?
- Yes, very well.

The SLK ready to pick up?

Bruv, ain't that Josh
that dick from high school?

Didn't he bully
the shit out of us?

He stole my lunch money.

Krish, yeah?

Krish and Lee from Claremont?

- No.
- Yeah.

You guys crack me up.

You haven't changed one bit.

Look at ya, eh?

Like a little double act.

You've changed.

What's happened?

You're like super cool now.

Nah I wouldn't say super
cool, more just cool.

So what do you do?

I run my own
business now, boys.

I sell spare parts
for satellites.

Business is good, then?

Yeah very good, very good.

My other car in Ferrari is
getting a bit wet at the moment.

That's why I'm here, actually.

I need a little town
car, a little runaround.

It's between me and you,
I can't stand rentals.

Listen, where's my manners?

What you guys doin', eh?

Sales.

Yeah, executive sales.

Nice, sweet.

Well listen, look I am in town
for the next couple of weeks

so if you wanna catch
up, gimme a call.

Whoa, who's that?

Oh this little ball and chain.

She put the photo in there,

but you know how
these girls are.

I have to be center of
attention for everything, eh?

Yeah, I'm beatin'
'em off with a stick.

In fact, I've got to get back
to a feisty Russian sort now.

Good to see you, man.

Feisty Russian?

Roxanna is Russian.

Roxanna's our boss
and she hates you.

Fuckin' Josh, how did a
dick like that get in my life?

Jesus, my brother's useless.

I can't believe I share
DNA with the guy.

My brother's just as bad.

Told him five times about
gran's 70th, he still forgot.

Well he never replied
to any of my texts,

he's never returned
any of my calls.

Hang on, I got a
message for him from gran.

Yeah?

Dickhead.

Dude, your brother's
a fucking dick.

So is yours!

One,

two,

three,

four.

Come on!

Come on baby, please come on.

I told you to fix
your car, start the car!

Bruv, you always do this.

You're not meant to park here.

I don't see any signs.

It says reserved
for directors.

What?

You can't drive.

Least I have my license.

It's two spaces, two
meaning for two cars.

You have the smallest
car in this entire place

and you still can't
park for shit.

Ah, fuck it.

My parkin's tidy.

Accidents R Us.

Krish, stop being a dick.

We're gonna be late!

Bruv, I'm gonna slap you!

What?

You went down there
like a prick.

Just speak to her.

Now we're late.

Bruv, she would get it.

What do you mean?

She'll get it hard, bruv.

From you?

All day long!

You've not even
said one word to her.

I'm workin' on it.

Well, it's been three months.

I'm workin' the right lines.

A simple hello would do.

It's not that easy when a
man has a reputation to keep.

What reputation?

You are an idiot!

Bruv, you weren't my
friend I'll slap you.

Bruv, I will
come for your ass.

I will bring you back
down to Chinatown.

I'm not even Chinese, shut up.

I think she likes black guys.

I'm black where it counts.

All the fucking time.

This machine doesn't work.

Bruv, you're tellin' me
you haven't smashed Amy yet.

No.

This machine is shit.

She'll get it,
she's bang tidy.

The things I'd do to her
if I had two seconds.

Two seconds?

Yeah, two seconds.

I would smash the
granny out of her

and she'd still be coming
to the nursing home.

Are you sure about that?

All day long.

Two seconds, bro.

That's a bit premature,
don't you think?

Yeah two second...

No I mean, two hours.

Ah fuck it, she'll get it.

What you need to
do is ask Amy out.

I'll do that if you
ask Jasmine out.

Yes.

Hello?

Girls, we were talking
about this in the car.

Let's just say I gave you

1,000 pounds each,

would you let Timmy the
cleaner slip it in you?

- Ooh.
- No!

- No way.
- You guys are sick.

What, not even a tiny bit?

Let's say one inch
or just the head.

- No!
- No.

Okay, how about
one million pounds?

I'm not selling my
body for a single penny.

Well it's one million
pounds, it's a lot of cash.

Sarah, I know you're
thinking about it.

Okay, I don't know.

Maybe.

Amy, for 20 million and
he does you up your ass.

Ew.

What?

It's 20 million, it
would change your life.

Up the ass, that's disgusting.

I'd do it up the ass for
20 million all day long!

What, have you never
done it up there before?

No.

You just need lube.

Lube.

Lube, lube, lube, lube.

Hello?

Come to my office.

Okay.

Who's that?

Were you speaking to Roxanna?

Yeah, does she want lube?

She wants to speak to us.

How long have you boys
been working here for?

Four months?

Lee, I took you on
because of your father.

In that time, you have
had multiple warnings.

One, part timekeeping.

Two, antisocial behavior.

Three, rudeness on the phone.

Four, poor attire.

I fixed up!

Now putting through
false claims.

Hello?

Hi is that
Robert Lunstow?

Yes, mate.

Hi Robert, it's
Lee from Accidents R Us.

Where there is blame,
there is a claim.

Just calling in regards
to the form you filled out

saying you injured your back.

- Go on, mate.
- What happened?

Mate, it's my fault.

I smashed into the back
of someone, didn't I?

When did this happen?

Couple of days ago.

That's unlucky.

Tell me about
it, my car's fucked.

What did
your insurance say?

Calling me
later to get my statement.

I think my car's a
write-off to be fair.

Just pissed that my
premiums are gonna go up.

Fucking excess is like 500 quid.

What did
the defendant say?

She was pissed.

Came out of her car
mouthing off and shit.

Mate, she had the nicest
rack I've ever seen.

I would've belted her.

The belts absolutely saved her.

To be honest man, I just
filled out the forms

'cause I was curious.

Were you injured?

Nope.

Tell you what, mate.

You sound decent.

What you do is tell your
insurance she reversed into you.

What, can I do that?

Who's gonna know?

Were you injured?

No.

Aw fuck it,
you have whiplash.

Go to the doctors,
play on the injury

and I'll try and process
this for you straight away

to get some compensation.

Decent mate, nice...

What was that?

I was helping him.

Helping him commit fraud.

I felt sorry for
him, I wanted to help.

All our calls are recorded.

The defendant was the
, he has witnesses

which conflict with
your Mr Lungstow story.

Because of your helping him,
we're now being investigated.

You're still under your
six month probation

and we're letting you go.

I'm also telling your father.

You can't tell my dad!

He will be disappointed.

Could the
owner of the Nissan Micra

reg KR15H please move
their car immediately

as you have parked in
two allocated spaces?

Those are company spaces and
you don't work here anymore.

You can't fire us like that.

Yes, I can.

You always pickin' on us.

That's because
you are useless.

You are useless at your job.

You're both failures.

This company is better
off without you

and I pity the next company
who's stupid enough to hire you.

Fine, you know what?

I wasn't gonna stay anyway.

Lee leaves, I leave.

This company is shit.

This office is shit.

Your parkin' is shit and
you need to get laid.

Come on, Lee.

I would so smash you.

I don't want to
and Lee wouldn't.

Yeah, not even with lube.

Lube.

Lube?

My dad's gonna be pissed.

I fucked up too many times.

Don't worry, mate.

We'll sort it, we'll
come up with a plan.

We hated this place anyway.

Only thing holding us here
was your dad and the girls.

I'm gonna miss this place.

What are we gonna do?

Don't worry guys, you're
gonna find another job.

Yeah, don't worry
about your dad.

We have plenty of time.

Any plans this year?

Nah, we'll sort it.

Let's just enjoy the evening.

Come on, cheer up.

Alright, let's party.

I could do this
all the time, bro.

Me, too.

You need to get Amy, bruv.

I can't, she's
too good for me.

Don't ever say that.

No one's too good for us.

I'm tellin' you bruv,
chicks want our dongs.

We're nice guys.

I don't know.

It's easy, just
get her number.

I can't.

Don't be an idiot.

Jasmine's coming over,

so now's your chance
to talk to her.

Oh shit.

You alright, boys?

Krish, you okay?

He's shy.

I'll see you on the
dance floor, yeah?

What happened to
your speech, bruv?

That's all bullshit.

I can't speak to her, I
don't know what to say.

I thought you
said it was easy.

That's just for you.

You are so full of shit.

No, we're full of shit.

What are you doing here?

I was obviously gonna come
but your work to do, didn't I?

Oh.

I'm really gonna miss you.

Really?

How about I give
you my number?

We can meet up later, maybe.

Jesus Christ!

What is the meaning of this?

What is going on in here?

Well I just don't get it!

Alright, no.

I don't wanna open my
eye because the vex.

No, no, this place
is not for us.

This place is not for us.

Olu?

- Open your eyes, Olu.
- No I'm alright.

No no no, don't open your eye.

, no!

I'm goin' to the
spirit right now

because my one leader.

- No no no.
- Olu, open your eyes.

Alright.

- Oh gosh.
- Jesus Christ.

Hey, that is God's creation!

That just a sin before
god, why'd you kill him?

God make him, you kill him!

Calm yourself.

Olu.

No Olu, that is dinner!

Shut up,.

That's dinner!

Why are you always
thinking about your belly?

Calm yourself.

We have more banana.

Deal with it.

Chill out , cowboy.

I come to learn from
him, watch this now.

Jesus Christ, look at him sleep.

It's his mouth, it's a tooth.

- , wake up.
- He's asleep.

Wake up.

I said wake up!

You don't scream yet.

Rent please.

Why did you put a
banana in my mouth?

- I thought it was...
- Plantain.

- Plantain.
- Shut up.

You know what the
take was, right?

What's happening?

Olu, why are you here?

You mad?

This boy is not serious.

In about 48 hour, funny.

You know what date it is today?

Tuesday?

Rent day.

Not you, not her.

Rent day, money.

Come to take it now, get up.

- Stand up!
- Right now.

- Come on, chop chop.
- Stand up.

Hold on, where are
you trousers then?

Damn it!

Is this?

Get out of here and
you chatty boy, move!

Kung Fu and Mr Patel in
there, where my money?

Shit.

Nice one!

Bruv, I've got no money.

What I've got is some
notes I wrote to myself.

Don't remember much
of last night, bro.

I don't even know
who was with us.

I've got her number now!

Oh yeah!

That was that hot blonde
girl from the kebab shop.

I was so smashed.

I don't remember who
was with us either.

All I remember is she was fit!

Her tits were amazin'
and her ass.

Bruv, where is she?

You need to text her now.

Later, bro.

Maybe she has a friend.

Krish, how much cash
do you have for rent?

One pound 50.

So just

595.50 short.

Shit.

How can we spend so much money?

Drink, drugs,
women and chicks.

This is a pig festival.

What are they doing?

You're asking me?

In fact, they are take piss.

It's take the piss.

You have to learn
to speak English

if you're rolling with me.

Yo, poom-poom boy!

What are you doing?

If you sayin' this
is a social visit,

there are things
for you to know.

Money for men, people for
, rent for beer.

Move yourself!

Come here now!

There might be a slight delay.

You say what?

I don't know, we
may need a few days

to get the rent money together.

Oh, you was talking to me.

What's this I hear about
you have no money at all?

There might be a slight delay.

I thought the Bible was
about forgiveness.

You know what?

You're right, you're right.

But it has another
interesting scripture in it.

What it say?

Do not play with my cash!

And where you find it?

That just in...

Hmm, these two.

You know what else it say?

It said it would forgive
me for beatin' you with it!

You now have 48 hours
find my money.

48!

If you don't find
it in that time,

things will get very
blinko out here!

Afka 1, Afka 2, let them go.

Two days!

You do not have time.

Yell, okay?

We'll make him eat you.

Where we gonna get
600 pounds in 48 hours?

We can sell something.

Yes bruv, we sell your car.

What are you talkin' about?

I ain't sellin' my car.

Sell something of yours.

Sell your TV.

Bruv, you're not
selling my TV.

That's mine!

Relax, I've got this.

We start our own business.

Doin' what?

We have no business plan,

no risk assessment,
we have nothing.

We don't need all
that mumbo jumbo.

We're entrepreneurs.

Entrepreneurs that do what?

We buy and sell stuff.

Buy and sell what?

That shouldn't be
your first question.

You're an entrepreneur now.

Your first question should be

where are we goin' to
get our seed money?

Who's gonna give
us seed money?

They'll wanna know
what sort of business

we're gonna be doing.

Just say import/export, no
one knows what that means.

I'm not asking my dad
for some money, bruv.

It's an investment for them.

He'll wanna see a business
plan, a recruitment schedule.

Come on, you whiny bitch.

Let's go see my
parents, get some cash

and go back to the club
before I lose my buzz.

Bruv, text that girl.

Do I look high?

I will see you
soon auntie, yeah?

- Sorry, Lee.
- Amir, long time bruv!

Krish, my bitch.

What's happening, bruv?

Hey yo bruv, it's Ahmed now.

Ahmed, why?

I turned Muslim innit.

Since when?

A year ago bro,
but you'd know that

if you'd bothered
to show your face.

I ain't see you for time, bruv.

Haven't you gotten
your bacon no more?

Bacon?

That's Haram, bruv.

Yeah but put a bit of ketchup
on it and it's all good.

No.

Can you still smoke weed?

Well only if it's allowed.

Do you get...

He knows.

'Cause Lee got some
sweet shit from Norfolk,

that's on the coastline.

You know it's gonna be
some good shit out there.

You know what, I'm
gonna shout you yeah?

But I've gotta shoot, bruv.

I'll see you soon, bruv.

- In shala?
- Yeah!

I know there's shala clubs,
but I'm barred from there.

Bruv, you're smoking
too much weed bruv.

Watchin' you.

Dad.

What do you want, Krish?

Now I'm
entrepreneur...

- Unemployed.
- What?

Roxanna told me she
had to sack you both.

Gross incompetence.

And you Lee, you told your dad?

No Mr Patel, uncle.

I'm going to see him later.

All that potential,
just wasted.

We don't need those jobs.

We're gonna make a ton of
money in our new business.

Come and work for
me in the restaurant.

I have a good
business, good sweets

and you're not doin'
anything right now.

What is this business
you want to do?

Import/export?

Aah, Krish is a big boy now.

Strong boy,

very good boy.

Import/export, good business.

You invested in Dev's
bullshit dentist practice.

Dev is a professional,
what is your profession?

I'm an entrepreneur.

I don't need a handout like Dev.

I need seed money
for my business.

Have you any idea how
hard your brother works?

He came back the
other day from work

with his friend, your brother,

and went straight
up to his bedroom

to do some brainstorming.

They locked the door,

they were at it for
three hours straight.

Red face, sweaty, hot
due to all the hard work.

I haven't seen commitment
like that from you.

- Bruv!
- Oh hello, darling.

You.

Hello Mrs Patel, auntie.

Hello.

Are you boys looking
after each other?

- Yeah, mom.
- Yes, auntie.

Come, I wanna speak to you.

Have some sweets
from daddy's shop.

No, uncle.

You are my favorite
nephew, Krish.

A good, strong boy.

Strong boy.

So you two are close then?

Yeah, uncle John has
known me since I was born.

Yes, I change his
nappy and seen his winky.

Now he is a strong boy.

I used to help
uncle around his house.

Mmm, I have some
work that needs doing.

You both can come around.

No thanks, uncle.

I'm an entrepreneur now.

Your mother wants
me to give you

some money for the business.

There's 200 pounds
to get you started.

This investment will grow
and grow into a big tree.

A tree of success and
the fruits will grow.

They'll be ripe
and they'll be...

Acha.

Bruv, your uncle's weird!

Bruv, what are you
doin' with my mom?

He's very touchy-feely.

That's not normal.

That's my mom, you
can't be doin' that.

That's not right.

Your mom's hot, though.

What do you want?

- Are they in?
- Yeah, what do you want?

Money.

I heard you got fired.

I left, actually.

At least I had a job.

Whatever, you're
still a loser.

What, and you,
failed wannabe dancer.

At least I tried, idiot.

Stripping is not dancing.

It's burlesque, actually.

You don't know anything.

Well I know you're
boring me, so move.

Alright, Misha.

Hi, Krish.

- How are you?
- Good.

You never responded to my
Facebook invite to my show.

Yeah, but I poked you.

I didn't see it.

- Then I'll poke you again.
- Krish!

Oh hello, honey.

And Kris, it's nice
to see you again.

Can you come and help me
with something upstairs?

Hey Lee, come and gimme a hug.

You need to eat more, Lee.

You've lost weight, man.

Do you want some pork
and noodles or something?

I'm okay, Howard.

He's after some money, dad.

Shut it.

All done.

I dunno why the light needed
changin', it looked new to me.

You know why I
called you up here.

Me and Krish want
to start a business.

But Mrs Reyes, your
husband's downstairs

Forget him.

He hasn't looked at me in years.

Roxanna called, she
told me everything.

This is what, your
sixth job this year?

- I know.
- You just gotta try.

You're a clever lad.

You're just wastin' it.

Mes Reyes!

Oh you know you want me.

I'm too young!

I've seen how you were
looking at me downstairs.

Lee look,

take the money.

I know you'll do me proud.

What about Lee?

I'm too young for this.

I'm not Charles.

No I know, you're Lee.

Mrs Reyes, stop.

I believe in you,
always have done.

Thanks.

Wanker.

Hold me.

There's somethin'
wrong with you.

Is that your brother?

Yeah he's with Lee.

They spend a lot
of time together.

Well they're best friends.

Maybe like us.

Alright, let's be quick.

I've gotta get to the office.

Use your fist.

We raised 300 pounds!

That's about 300 scratchcards!

Are you serious about
starting this business?

Of course, I'm
an entrepreneur!

Okay, let's do it.

What's the first
thing that we need?

Oh a secretary.

No, contacts.

Who do we know who has
a huge list of contacts?

Of course, nice one bruv.

Boss seriously, I killed
those fuckers for you last week.

I consider myself
as a good henchmen.

I don't ask for a lot.

I'm loyal.

You see, I need somethin'
good to eat, man.

I need to eat.

I can't be doin' all this
stuff on an empty stomach.

Look it's important
that I eat food,

like I've got to
keep a clear mind.

Stop stop stop.

Listen, you are hardly
undernourished, are ya?

You don't look like
you've got bulimia.

What is important are those
fucking pikeys are late.

For the first and last
time, they are late.

I've got business
to take care of,

just be quiet the
two of yous, Jesus.

How's it goin?

It's been four weeks,
where's my money?

You see, that's the thing
I meant to say to you now.

Unfortunately there's
been a slight problem

gettin' the clean money off
the fellow over in Liverpool.

- You know what I mean?
- What problem?

Ah there's just a bit of
a problem with the Polish.

They're gettin' a
bit suspicious.

They're hangin' around
the lobby a bit

so we have to cool
things down a bit.

It's very hard
to understand you.

But I want you to
understand this.

Where is my clean money?

There is a

fuckin' delay,

you baldy, cockney wanker.

Am I talkin' English or what?

Seamus, when will
you have our money?

Hello there, young one.

God look at you, eh?

What are you doin' hangin'
around with the likes of this?

Seamus just give
us a date, will ya?

Thought you'd never ask.

Alright I see what you mean.

Now here's the thing.

If I had a date to give
ya, I'd give you a date

but I can't 'cause I don't.

All I can say is
it's not up to me.

Me hands are tied,
aren't they lads?

It's up to the boys in blue.

- His hands are tied.
- Yeah, my hands are tied.

It's not up to me.

You're a lying,
thieving pikey.

- Come on,!
- Lay it on me, you pikey!

Settle down, you
pile of shite.

Shall I shoot him?

Oh shut up, I just wanna know
what the fuck he's sayin'.

Bruv, why do you have a
USB stick in your pocket?

You always need to
be prepared, don't you?

It's not my first
choice of protection.

Go in and get the database.

Why do I have to go in?

Well, I came up with the idea.

Now you have to do your part.

Shit.

Start the car!

Why'd you turn the car off?

You know it doesn't
turn on properly.

- I was saving petrol!
- Fuck, hurry up!

I told you to fix your car!

I didn't think
you'd switch it off.

What were you
doing, having a wank?

Naw bruv, I need two minutes.

Oh shit, he's comin'.

Fucking piece of shit!

Don't call Angelina that,
you'll hurt her feelings.

I'll rear-end this
bitch into a tree

if she doesn't start now!

I'm sorry but it would appear

the only things missing are
a stapler and a hard drive.

Detective Johnson,
Security emailed me

the CCTV footage
from last night.

Bring me Krish's HR codes.

This is the guy.

Find him.

Healthy body, healthy mind.

It's our new start.

I wanna get hench, bruv.

Jodie.

- Come on!
- One more!

- Come on.
- There we go, there we go.

So what's our business?

Import/export, innit.

What does that mean?

Nobody knows what that means.

That makes no sense.

We don't have a business.

Told you we should've
bought scratchcards.

What does everybody love?

Pussy.

No.

Lube!

Chicken.

Yeah, everyone loves chicken.

We should export/import.

We can buy some chickens.

They make baby chickens.

We can export the chickens
and import the money.

How?

I don't know.

I'm hungry.

Is all the chicken gone?

Yeah.

Pass the menu.

I wanna order some chicken.

There's no chicken delivery.

That's our business.

We deliver chicken.

What do we do now?

We wait.

Ahmed ordered 14
pieces of chicken.

There's only eight.

He won't notice.

Just frame the chicken
so it looks bigger.

It's not we, bro.

It's import/export, innit.

Who is it?

It's your chicken.

Come in.

Watch that wire, it's important.

Why have you gpt
so much fertilizer?

Gardening.

Yeah gardening, come.

You live in a flat though.

Chicken.

Look at that bruv, your
chicken's still warm.

Hold on.

Is this halal?

If you want it to be.

This feels a bit light.

There's about eight
pieces in there.

You said 14.

How'd you know?

The weight innit, libra arms.

- 20 pound.
- 20 pound?

It's 12 down the road.

Yeah but we deliver.

You said it was free delivery!

There's small print.

You're outside the
delivery area.

Bruv, you live five
minutes away from me.

You know what, this is cold.

I ain't payin' for that.

It's cold because
you keep talking.

- And we're family.
- Is there a problem here?

Nah, no problem.

He's family.

Bro, this is like rat food.

Are you gonna eat that, bro?

No I ain't eatin' that.

Oh it's live, bro.

There's no chicken in there.

What are you gonna eat?

No I ain't gonna take that.

No it's light, bruv.

Yo, have you eaten some?

- No.
- No.

Gimme your hand.

Smells like chicken!

That's because we cooked it.

Yeah we worked hard
for that, so pay us.

What you think
you're a bad man now?

Here, yo boys.

Who's bad now?

And what?

Where'd he go?

Come on show me then.

Where's all this?

I know you've got some in here.

I know you have,
I know you have!

There's enough
chicken for you, baby.

I'm fuckin' hungry and you
didn't feed me last night.

- I've got chicken.
- What d'you mean?

You know.

Babe, I've
got chicken for you.

Sorry about that.

Whoa.

Why did you hug him for?

He didn't even pay us.

He had to pay somehow.

Bruv, he's up to
some dodgy shit.

What d'you mean?

Didn't you see all the
fertilizer and the wires?

- So?
- Don't you remember signs?

That's what they use
for explosives.

Didn't you...

Don't you remember?

That guy wouldn't
know what to do.

He's up to some
dodgy shit, bruv.

Johnson!

These boys are
possible terrorists.

Terrorists?

You don't make a bomb out of
a hard drive and a stapler.

They can be using
the hard drive

to compile a list of targets.

Let's pay 'em a visit.

We just lost 25 pounds.

13.99 for the chicken,

10 pound for the petrol
and we bought chewing gum.

You have to
speculate to accumulate.

What does that mean?

It's all import/export, bruv.

We need to export something
soon or else we're in trouble.

Why don't
we export ourselves?

What are you talking about?

I know a guy who put his
picture on escort website

and he's always on
a yacht in Monaco.

Apparently he has the
sickest clothes.

'Cause we're hench now,
we should do this.

I don't like it.

It's prostitution.

Fuck it!

You go to the best
restaurants free.

Plus the women are hot.

You serious?

Would you let a girl poke
you in the bum for 10 pound?

Nah.

- 100?
- No.

10,000?

Probably.

Then think about the
women and the money.

What do we do now?

We wait and I need a drink.

Bruv look,
I can see a spliff.

We need to move the couch.

What's really going on here?

You do your business here.

Afka 1 and Afka 2, repute that.

What are you talking about?

I'm not involved,
I'm not involved.

- Yo yo yo, Afka 2.
- Please.

Demon have your money.

- Demon have your money.
- My money?

- Let's kill him.
- No killing, just hold him.

What are you doing to me?

The power of Christ
is inside you, Lucifer.

Krish, help me!

Bruv, don't get me involved.

You're the one with the demon.

I don't have a demon.

You talking is confirmin' it.

Come out devil, now.

Dead man, dead man!

- Switch, come out of here.
- Come on.

Yes this is Krish.

- I don't have a demon!
- You talkin'

is confirmin' it!

Yeah we can come over today,

- what's the address?
- Come out devil.

Come out here, you
demon, right now!

Hey stop muckin'
about, we have a gig.

Olu, we still have a day left.

You're right.

You can't keep
doin' this to us!

We're tenants, we have rights!

The only right you
have is to pay my money

or tings will get
biblical out here!

Or you will die.

Why you wanna kill
everybody all the time?

Don't play with my money!

Come on.

The bow is a bit
much, don't you think?

No bruv, this is
how it is yeah.

Not wearin' that, are you?

I haven't got
anything else to wear.

'Course you do.

Bro, I need to
go to the toilet.

Wait.

Too plain.

Too simple.

Bro, I need to go to the toilet.

We need to make a
good impression.

It's our first time.

Bruv, I'm gonna
burst in a minute.

Bruv, she sounded
fit on the phone.

We just get a hold of the
money and get 'em off our back.

So hold it.

Just pick anything.

Ooh!

Come on, come on, come on.

Whoa!

- Oh shit!
- What, what?

My phone!

Bruv, I sent you the
funniest ,

I just sent you the
funniest text.

That was you?

That's your fault, would
you look at that!

I hate a ringing phone, man.

I'm not answering
that, no way.

Don't be a girl.

Answer it, answer it!

Pick it up!

- Pick it up!
- No way man, no!

Bruv it's your
own blonde, man.

Answer the damn phone, bruv.

You've been waiting
for this text all day

and now she's ringin' it.

That's not mine,
it's Bookie's.

Hot blonde.

Hot blonde,
kebob shop girl.

Fuck, fuck!

Hello?

Hello?

She hung up!

She hung up!

Lemme show you around.

Zoom, zoom, zoom, gadu.

- What is that?
- It's madness.

dance and kick.

That is not a rap.

That is not a rap.

Bruv, does my
hand still smell?

Get your fucked up
hand away from me, man.

You have to give
us the instructions.

Can I do it with plantain?

If you want,
keep the plantain.

Are you sure you
wanna do this?

It's your idea.

You alright?

Just feelin' a bit nervous.

Got that butterfly feeling.

We're in this together.

We're gonna have a good
meal, do some hot girls,

and we get paid.

Hello?

Hey, Josh.

We must catch up soon, yeah.

Sweet!

Alright, let's just do this.

Hello, you're right on-time.

Yes, on-time for the
time of your life.

Mmm, I do love a guy
in a dicky bow.

Come this way.

Ain't that those two
drumsticks from the gym?

Yeah that's them, I
swear that's them!

Precious, what are
they doin' here?

What are they doin' here?

Like really, you're asking
me what they're doin' here?

Yeah Precious, what
are they doin' here?

You don't know what
they're doin' here?

So you don't know what
they're doin' here.

You don't know who they are.

What do you actually know?

They're here.

Yeah, I know they're there.

Like you should know
why they're there.

Do you even know anything?

Babe don't talk to
me like that, baby.

You hurtin' my feelings.

Feelings, do you wanna
talk about feelings?

What is all this?

All this muscle for nothing.

You're fucking pathetic.

Like you actually make me sick.

Do you know what?

Here's the truth.

See your mother, I hate her.

She hates me, I hate her.

Actually I hate your
whole fucking family.

Yeah, that's the truth.

Yeah, see that face?

I don't even like your face.

That face is what you do
when we're having sex.

- You know I love you, baby.
- Really, really?

You've got me sat
here like an idiot.

I should be with a
fuckin' footballer

bein' wined and dined
and being treated nicely.

Not sat here with you.

All this muscle for what?

- Do you know what?
- Oh God.

You ain't gettin'
none tonight.

Fuck.

Are you boys looking
for a good time?

Come here, you naughty boys.

You like it, I know you like it.

Come here, that's it.

Stop it, stop it, stop it.

Get off.

Where are you?

There you are.

I've got you now.

Oh yes!

Get off!

Come here, you naughty boy.

Krish, do something.

Pull leg, pull leg.

Come here, my
little love muffin.

Yes, it's fighty pokey time.

Ooh, yeah!

Woohoo, ride him
like a stallion.

Oh yeah!

Help me.

Yeah, baby.

So tell me, how well
do you know Krish Patel

and Lee Reyes?

Well enough to know
they're good guys, why?

We're gathering information
so we can help 'em.

It's important.

I need you to help me
so I can help them.

I would if I could,

but I honestly don't
know anything else.

Unless you have any
more questions for me,

I'd quite like to go 'cause
you can't really hold me here.

Okay, 'course.

But I'll be around.

If you do happen to remember
anything, here's my card.

Lee, when you get this,
can you call me please?

The police have
just been asking me

loads of questions
about you and Krish.

I really hope you're alright.

Call me.

She just called!

Should I call her back?

No bruv, call her tomorrow.

We're here to get fucked up.

Every time I close my
eyes, I see that midget.

That whip hurt, bruv.

Hello, boys.

The one good thing is

got rent money and
enough for some weed.

Don't you think we should
do more with the money?

Bruv, more will come.

Let's just enjoy our
hard-earned cash.

How much?

Here.

You alright, Krish?

A bit underdressed
aren't you, love?

He's still shy.

Yo.

Yeah, come here!

That's what I'm saying.

Look, these fools
were right here.

If it weren't for me,

you wouldn't even
know where they were.

I know what I'm doin', baby.

Oh do you know what?

Why am I even fucking walking?

Wasting my time.

I don't even know who's more
stupid out of you and them.

Well if it's not
you, who is it then?

I don't know anything about

a blackjack game
happening tonight

and I own all of the
blackjack dealers in London.

If one of them even
wants to shuffle a deck,

they need my permission first.

Do I look like a cunt?

What you want me to say?

I want you to tell me

why there's a high-roller
blackjack game

goin' on in Blue Magic tonight
and why my pocket is empty.

- Blue Magic, who's...
- Terry.

Terry hosting a
blackjack game.

Have you lost control
over everything, Tony?

Of course not, I'm
in complete control.

Rest assured I will
deal with Terry

and his bullshit blackjack game.

Right, where's your...

Val.

Verity.

Whatever.

Spread!

Have a seat, gentlemen.

Thanks.

Sit!

Hey, that's ours.

Yeah, we worked hard for that.

No no no no, boys.

This is my money.

First rule of business is you
earn, you have to pay tax.

You earn here, you pay me tax

and I pay it to the Mrs.

She spends it on
that rat of hers.

It's her dog, not a rat.

Let's be honest, wish he would.

Honestly he looks
like a Ferrari,

but you don't look
underneath the bonnet.

This is tax.

- Tax?
- Yup.

See tiny George here?

You stole one of his clients

and from what I heard,
you didn't perform.

Come on.

She was a freak!

Mr Laurel is a valued
customer and he pays well.

Your unprofessionalism has
nearly cost us this account.

First rule of business,
you finish the job.

So now I have to go in
and I have to fix it.

But when I fix things,
there is always a charge.

So this belongs to me,
plus you owe me 10% on top

for my inconvenience.

What?

We can't afford that.

Well, you could be of some
use to me tonight actually.

No, I ain't doin' that again.

Do you two know how
to play blackjack?

Of course I do, I
play it all the time.

I can read those cards
better than Rain Man.

I'm a blackjack machine, bruv.

Bomb 21 here, bomb 21 there

all day long.

Well, that's fortunate.

We've got a bit of a
high-rollers game

going on across town tonight

and you two sharp-looking
gentlemen,

I think you're gonna
fit right in.

I want you to go to the game

and just gather some
information for me.

I want a list of names
of people who were there.

Say there's 50 people there.

How many names do
I want, Rain Man?

- 50?
- You're bang on.

I also wanna know how
much the house is winning

and when the next game is.

Think you can handle that?

Good.

But that's it?

That's it.

What are you two
still doin' here?

Can I have my money?

'Course, of course you can.

Good luck, gents.

You look smashing.

What the fuck are you doing?

What's the matter, Angelface?

Is this a game to you?

Well no, this is business.

I know what I'm
doing, let me do it.

No, you've sent those two
clowns to do your business.

The first rule of business say

don't bring your wife to work.

Come on.

No no no, first
rule of business

is take care of something
yourself, you absolute moron.

Hey, Angel.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Doll, hey, Verity.

She loves me, really.

Boss, you just gonna let
them go and make more money?

Oh George, of course I'm not.

You saw them, they're
gonna kill a game

as soon as they walk in.

No no no no, these
fucking drumsticks

have been fucking my business
up all the fucking time

and I'm sittin' here like a
twat ain't doin' shit about it.

Come on man, you're
gettin' all angry again.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Have fun, take the day off.

Yeah?

Go and have a protein
shake and a smile.

Do what you do for fun.

Go and break some stuff.

- Yeah, that's cool.
- Yeah alright.

- Good lad.
- Sounds good, man.

Come on now, let's turn
that frown upside down.

Come on.

Okay.

Christ.

We are lookin' slick, bruv.

We have 275 pounds.

That's all we have.

Are you sure you can
win some money tonight

to pay Olu the rent
money tomorrow?

Of course, all day long.

Remember, this is
our parents money.

You
have one new message.

Your
poom-poom batty boys

better have rent tomorrow.

The clock is ticking.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock!

What is this?

I want fried plantain.

I'll beat you across your head
if you take my piece again.

Stupid boy.

Right tick-tock,
tick-tock, boys.

Tomorrow I want my rent or
tings are going to get biblical.

I will slap the shit
into your heads.

- Thank you, bye bye.
- Don't worry.

We'll win so much that
we'll have enough

to pay Olu two months rent.

Looking ain't free.

You gonna buy a drink?

We're here for the
blackjack game.

Just remember why we're here.

I got this, bruv.

Oi.

Shit.

Stick.

What's your name?

Chantelle.

Chantelle, lovely to meet you.

You're looking lovely tonight.

Thank you, I'm tryin' to play.

You okay?

I just lost 30k.

I should have
listened to my wife.

It's not my wife.

My wife in Russia.

I'm Lee.

Vladimir.

You should've
partied in Paris.

Paris?

I've been there many times.

When's the next
game, Mr Latif?

Thursday.

How's the night treating you?

I'm even.

I'll only stop when
I'm down 100k.

Whoa take a photo of
me and Chantelle, please?

Is that alright?

Yeah, yeah.

Yes oh honey,
this evening is so terrible.

So, so, so terrible.

We lost a lot of money.

Ping, Pong, get me a Mai Tai.

How did you hear
about the game?

You know Terry?

Terry called Ping, who
told Pong, who told me.

You look like a
guy I used to know.

Oh Charlie, he was so lovely.

He left me for some
Desi adventurer.

Ping, leave him alone!

Go find Pong and
bring me my Mai Tai.

It was really
nice meetin' you.

Ping, Pong.

I'm gonna get back to my game.

Don't use all
of those chips, mate.

I thought you said you
could play this game.

I do online all the time.

So why are we down?

Lady luck ain't on our side.

That's why we're down.

What?

You're not concentrating.

You're too busy making friends

and you're not
taking it seriously.

I am.

Bro, that's our
money you're losing.

We're in trouble already and
you're digging us deeper.

You have to get to 21, right?

Close as possible.

And there are 54
cards in a deck.

No, 52.

Take out the jokers.

How many decks do they use?

Six.

What are face cards worth?

King, Queen and
Jack are worth 10.

Ace is one or 11 and number
cards are each to their own.

Right, let's go.

How the fuck's he doing this?

Lucky streak, Tel.

There ain't no such
thing as a lucky streak

in my fucking club.

Seems to be playing
all the right hands.

No one's that good.

He's fucking cheatin', Tel.

How do you know?

See his mouth move,
he's counting the cards.

Want me to fuckin'
shoot him, boss?

Shut up.

Do you want me to
shoot him, boss?

Shut up, alright?

He earns me money,
you're just the biceps.

- Prick.
- Bastard.

He's my prick.

5,000 bruv.

We have smashed it.

That's 10 months rent.

We're gonna own Olu.

You two, huh?

You two very lucky together.

Maybe we can make
some luck together.

You feelin' alright?

Feeling alright now.

Muscles

everywhere.

Yeah, we got here
two days ago bruv.

Let me workout
with you sometime.

Bruv, sort your friends out.

They're your problem now.

I have a game in Paris
in a couple days,

would you like to come?

Yeah.

Okay.

Chantelle.

Lee.

Bad move, boys.

Fucked up there
didn't you, boy?

No, we saw them first!

However, you two boys
are fucking stupid

or you got big balls.

Counting cards in my club.

I didn't know counting
cards was wrong.

What are you up to?

Who sent you?

We don't work for anyone.

I'm an entrepreneur.

We do import/export.

Oh do you really?

Export and import what exactly?

Don't really know.

We exported chicken.

Did it ourselves.

Now we're lookin' seed money

for our proper
import/export business.

What's that sayin'?

Import/export.

No one knows what that means.

Let me rephrase that.

What were you two
jokers doin' in my club

taking names of my punters?

Tell me that.

Tony asked us.

Fucking pussy and does he
know who he's fucking with?

Technically, it
is you in his area.

But that's just technically.

- You're early.
- Time of the month.

I take it the money

from this evening's
activities are in there?

It's there babe.

Price of corruption is goin' up.

Inflation, darling.

I hate her.

Can we go now?

Oh, of course you can.

You two are fuckin'
stupid, ain't ya?

You owe me for you just
done there, you owe me.

Well, we didn't even
get to keep our winnings.

Listen, you two don't who
the fuck you're dealing with.

I own this club, I own your
money and I now own you.

Got me?

Okay, sorry.

We were just doing
what Tony asked us to.

We'll leave that
between you and him.

Can we please go now?

You two think you're
big boys, don't cha?

We're gonna see if you
can to what you're told.

I want you to go
down that pikey pub

and get me that thieving
pikey bastard Seamus

and bring him here
for me, alright?

What does Seamus look like?

Like a thieving pikey bastard.

What if we don't?

Then I'll cut your balls off

and stick 'em where
the sun don't shine.

How do we get a pikey?

Do I look like an
encyclopedia on pikeys?

Just get him and bring
him to me, please!

Shall I shoot 'em, boss?

Oh shut up, will ya?

Can I shoot anyone?

Can I shoot 'em after?

Shut the fuck up.

That's a big job
for them boys, dad.

Yeah well if they don't do
it, they're dead either way.

Thompson, it's Johnson.

Just saw the suspects from
the call center incident.

Yeah, I can confirm
the location.

Send the squad cars down
to the Blue Magic, now.

- These guys are crazy.
- They'll eat us alive.

Which one is Seamus?

They all look the same.

Bruv, did you just do a fart?

Yeah, I'm a little bit scared.

That stinks!

That's him, that's
the thieving gypsy!

I've had just about
enough of you now.

Hey, c'mon now boys.

Here, hit him!

Hey!

I told you I'd be back
away from her, right?

- That's enough, sit down.
- Now listen up,

if I was havin' a little
kiss with the girl,

I will have a kiss
with the girl.

Who the fuck are
yous boys anyway?

What are you doin' to my cousin?

Right, you've done it now.

I've got a pair of fist biscuits

for you straight outta the oven.

Here it comes, ya bastards.

You bastard, will you stand
still so I can fuckin' hit ya?

Jackie Chan and Slumdog
fuckin' Millionaire.

If you hit me one more
time, I'm gonna have to...

Stop, stop it.

Come here, come here anyway.

Can I have that?

- Drink?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I have a
powerful droof on me.

What'd he say?

Shamus!

Come on, gypsy.

- Come on, gypsy.
- Give it!

Give it now and
stop bein' a punk!

Give it.

The bastards stole Seamus.

Look, he's
sittin' right there.

They robbed him, look!

Where'd they bring him to?

They fuckin' stole him!

He's gone!

You're fucking chicken.

They stole Seamus.

This is your fuckin' fault.

It's not my
fault, how is it my fault?

Are you gonna do
anythin' about it

or are ya just
gonna stand there?

Are ya gonna let the girl
fuckin' go and save Seamus

or are you gonna get off your
ass and do something about it?

- Fuck.
- Well.

- What?
- What?

Pfft, you're a prick.

You're a prick.

You summon me here like
I'm some fucking genie.

Well pfft, here I am.

Terry, what you want?

What did you send those two
muppets down to my club for?

What are you talking about?

First rule of business,
do your homework.

So what I'm tryin'
to work out is

why after all this
time you're suddenly

tryin' to muscle
in on my business?

'Cause times are hard and
the price of cooperation,

if you get my meaning,
is very high.

Go go go!

Johnson?

She's crippling me, man.

It's extortion,
that's what it is.

Look at that, you
both agree on somethin'.

Yeah, alright.

Well look, it seems like
we have a common problem.

Oh good, you brought
old bill up my yard!

Don't be stupid, Terry.

Of course I'm not gonna ring
'em while I'm here with you.

Wait for me!

Graham, these guys are
talking to the Irish,

the Russians, the Al
Queda, the Nigerians,

the former foreign secretary

and all the London gang leaders.

What are they plannin'?

Not sure.

Something huge.

They're rolling with
some big connections.

So in just in a few hours,

these guys have spoken
to every main player.

I think these are the
guys we've been waitin' for.

I'll put out an announcement.

God bless you, sir.

What do you put in that anyway?

- Say it.
- Hmm?

Yeah, that we told ya.

Oh, sorry what
was it again now?

Luuube.

Lobe.

No, Luuube

Luup.

No no no, Luuube

Looooob!

This guy's crazy.

All day long.

All day long, boy.

What's your name, by the way?

It's Seamus, pleased to
make your acquaintance.

Oh my God, it's him.

You're Seamus?

Yeah, that's me.

That's what me mother
called me anyway.

Bruv, we did something
right for once.

We're too good.

- Sick!
- Yo,

poom-poom 1, poom-poom
2, where that?

You puttin' up the voicemail.

Lemme tell you somethin' right.

When you check the voicemail,

you will know that the
time is now 49 hours.

Not 48, that means
your time is up.

I want my rent, I want my rent.

I want my rent, I want...

Say a lil somethin',
say it again.

Kill him!

You are go, you are
go, you are dead.

That's right.

I like the way you
stretched that.

When we see you, we kill
both of you, you and Kung Fu.

- are dead, aight?
- Kung Fufu.

- Yes.
- Finished!

- Finish.
- It's not my time to order.

Benanta.

We're fucked.

What's the matter
with you there, lads?

You're lookin' a bit
down in the old dumps.

We owe rent to our landlord.

He's gonna kill us.

Shit, don't be
worryin' about that sir.

Just have a bit of a drink.

It'll help you forget
all your problems.

That's how I forget about mine.

Running outta that.

Ah shite, so we are.

Tell you what.

If you drive us back
down to the pub there,

I'll get us a few
pints, my treat.

I'll pay for your hangover, huh?

Can't do this, bruv.

No bruv, this guy's too cool.

Terry's gonna kill us.

Terry?

Wait a minute, did
you say Terry?

You don't mean you
still are workin'

for that baldy,
cockney bullocks?

No, we got into
a bit of trouble

and he said we should
bring you to him.

Ah, yous feckin'
bastards anyway!

No but we're not gonna.

How could
ya do this to me?

We're not!

That's why we're fucked.

Yeah, better get
that lube I guess.

Don't worry about
a thing, though.

Yous won't be needin'
any your lube.

Me and the boys can
take care of that

fat, baldy, cockney, dogshite,
big stupid head in him.

Bruv, there's Olu!

- Oh shit!
- Come on, start the car!

- What are...
- Are they there?

Is that them?

- That them there?
- Is that them?

It's them!

Put your foot on it!

- Start the car!
- Shut the window

so he can't see us.

Put your foot on it!

My money's inside that car

and I want to kill
somebody today.

- Olu's coming!
- Oh jeez.

Bruv, you've gotta speed up.

What sorta driving is this?

driving 30
miles an hour, bruv.

I'm not goin' faster, alright?

Come on lad, put
your foot on it.

I ain't gettin'
another ticket, no.

Ah ticket smicket, who cares?

Up on the bend!

- Go up the hill!
- I'll try!

Stay on the left here.

The police won't come now.

In England, we
drive on the left.

In Africa, you drive anywhere.

I'm gonna hurt these two.

I'm gonna fuckin' hurt 'em
two in the club, all of it!

- The lies!
- Watch where you're going.

Watch where you're going, dad.

I know where I'm going.

I can't lose 'em, can I?

When I get that
Krish, he's a dead man.

Well I am gonna
do him as well.

I can't believe that you
let him take your phone.

I can't believe it,
he's your cousin.

He took...

He's robbed you, bruv.

What do you mean, bruv?

He borrowed it,
that's what we do.

We're family like that.

It's one of them two
up front I think.

It's
that one there.

Is it the one in front of us

or the one in front of that?

No it's that one there.

That one there
straight in front of us?

- Yes.
- Are you sure?

- Can you see him?
- The blue one!

What are we doin'?

Are we callin' this in?

I'm doin'
the speed limit.

I'm breakin' the law.

Well that's not
stopped us before.

We can pull 'em over

and we find a reason
to have stopped 'em.

No, you can't do that.

It's not legal, wanker.

Listen, this could be the
two of the most dangerous guys

runnin' around
Britain right now.

Olu's coming, I can see...

I can see Tony, I can see Terry.

Oh man, how many cars
are following us?

Jesus, one, two, three, four.

You need to do something
and do something fast.

You
have 10 new messages.

Shut up anyway, I'm driving.

Come on now.

like that
word, Jesus Christ.

You want dash me
through the window?

Olu, put your seatbelt on.

Hang on!

What is it with you two?

You're lookin' like you wanna
fuck her or you're.

What is it?

Pipe down dad, will ya?

Why are you drivin'
like Miss Daisy?

I'm losin' money.

Money, what do you mean?

He's right in front
of me, you fool.

He's right in front of me.

Put it in the sat
nav or something.

Look at the sat nav?

He's right in front of me!

Look at the size
of this car bruv,

look at the size of his car
and you can't catch him.

Bump him off the road, mate.

It's not bumper
cars, you twat.

What are you doing?

Why are we going
around in circles?

We're meant to be losing them.

I know
what to do, alright?

We're just going around
in circles, circles.

You're making me dizzy.

I'm not a good passenger.

That's the sail.

I think he wants us
to shoot the paki

and to shoot the chinky.

Once this is over,

I'm gonna fuck up
Angelina for you.

Proper hard.

Don't talk about her
like that, alright?

go ahead, she
won't be able to get you.

I'll chuck you outta my car.

That crazy girl,
she was so fit.

Which girl are you
talkin' about?

I did phone you, I texted you.

I phoned you and I text you.

Where you learn to drive?

Where you learn to drive?

I got my license in Legos.

That's a gun.

Catch up there now.

Lemme get a good
fuckin' run of them.

It might not be long
puttin' an end to this boy.

I'm starving, Tony.

You're always talking about
your fucking belly, ain't ya?

Nothing else to talk about,
but your fucking stomach.

I don't ever get to
fuckin' eat, that's why.

Wait 'til we catch him.

Take a bite outta that.

I was in the boot, he
locked me in the boot.

- He locked me in the boot.
- Shut up!

- What the fuck is going on?!
- Listen.

Yo, you put me to
voicemail again.

Let me tell you somethin' right?

We're behind you.

We want you to pull over
nicely so we can kill you!

We're getting too
far away, come on.

Ow, what you doing?

Seriously what you doing?

Catch up.

What, you put no petrol
in the car first?

I put petrol in the car,

but this driving he's
messin' up my vibe.

What are you doin'?

What are you doin'?

What this smell there?

From the car?

He's putting smell there.

You don't even need
to open a window first?

Don't you fuckin'
making me lose

another fuckin' Sunday of all
this shite runnin' around.

I'll fuckin' put this
gun up your arse.

Yo, yo.

I am not very comfortable
with you doing that around me.

Seamus, we're
comin' to get ya boy!

We'll shoot the bastards.

Do something!

Alright, I'm going I'm going.

You have
123 new messages.

- Where they gone?
- I don't know.

Oh fuck it!

- On the car.
- Whoa whoa whoa.

Fuck's sake.

Hold on, hold on, hold on!

Where the fuck have they gone?

I don't believe it!

I've lost 'em!

I don't believe it!

- Where they gone?
- Where they go?

They robbed you!

All your voodoo
and all that crap.

My voodoo is too much.

You made them disappear?

Where the fuck?

Where they gone?

Don't fuckin' tell
me we're losin' 'em

not after all this
pile of shite.

Now I don't have my money.

I am vexo.

But you is driving.

How you lose them
and you is driving?

- I didn't mean to.
- Why you lose them?

Why do you lose them?

All of this excess talking
is making me nervous.

I'm gonna cause a jam.

Why was you not keepin'
a fucking eye on 'em?

Me keepin' a
fucking eye on 'em?

Do you think I'm after
comin' outta the fuckin' pub

to be keepin' an eye on 'em,
when clearly it's your job

to be keepin' a
fuckin' eye on 'em?

It's not my fuckin' job
to keep an eye on him.

We wouldn't be fuckin'
chasin' him.

Are you tryin' to say
now it's all my fault

that we're after
fuckin' losin' 'em?

It's not my fuckin'
fault that we lost him.

You're tryin' to give me a
whole load of shite over this?

Learn how to drive!

What?

What the fuck do you
think you're doing?

Was I driving fast
enough for you?

This is all your fault!

- What?
- You don't even listen to me!

I told you to fix your car.

I told you to be careful
at the blackjack game.

And you, you got
fired from work

and you stole Chantelle
away from me.

I come up with all the ideas.

You don't do shit!

Your ideas are shit!

At least I have ideas, I try!

You don't know what
import/export is.

No one does.

At least I have ambition,
what's yours Lee?

You're nothing without me.

Do you know what?

I don't have time for ambition

'cause I'm constantly
fixing your crap.

It's your crap that
brings me down.

Without you, I'll
be flying high.

Bruv, you're too
busy making excuses.

That's why you're
not making paper.

You're afraid to fail.

Do you know why I'm failing?

Because you're living
in your stupid world.

You know what?

You still think
you're in school.

You need to grow up and
take responsibility.

You count on me for everything!

You need to grow some balls.

Your sister was right about you.

D'you know what?

Your dad was right about ya.

What are you doin' to my car?

I told
you should've bought a spare.

Hello there, what
can I get you?

Just a butterscotch latte
and a croissant please.

Okay.

Hello, butterscotch.

That is my favorite.

Me, too.

This is the only
place that does 'em.

Where's Lee?

Don't know, don't care.

Is everything okay?

Do you feel I need to grow up?

What's happened?

Just somethin' Lee said.

Well Krish, we all say things.

It's just sometimes it comes
out the wrong way, that's all.

I miss the noise
you make at work.

Really?

Didn't think you noticed me.

I did.

I still do.

I think you're perfect.

Sorry?

I just think you're perfect.

Why are you sayin' that?

Lee's been telling me for
time I should speak to you.

He's right.

Every mornin' I walk
past, I can't even speak.

I get sweaty palms,
I get flustered.

You were the motivation
for me to go into work.

I wish I listened to him.

Mate, I've had a lot to think
about and we need to talk.

Okay.

Josh.

Sorry, just been havin'
a little look around.

What, you're
buying this place?

Yeah well, fingers crossed.

How did you do it?

I don't get it,
what d'you mean?

We're in the same class,
we got the same grades.

I think your grades
were higher than mine.

Hey, what's brought this on?

I just wanna know
what went wrong.

I don't get it.

You guys are high-rollers, man.

I saw you at the car dealership
and at the game last night.

Mr Latif and Vladimir
think you're great.

Here it is, yeah.

To be honest,
it's just bullshit.

I'm unemployed, I'm broke,

and I don't even know
where I went wrong.

Hey, are you okay?

Just somethin' Krish said.

Look mate, don't
worry about it.

You'll find your feet,
I know you will.

Look, take it from me.

There are no shortcuts
or cheats in our game.

It's just a little hard
work and sacrifice.

Man, I would do anything
to have what you have.

I don't understand,
you've got everything.

To have a friend.

You've got a girlfriend.

250 quid a night.

I think I fucked up.

What happened?

Need a hand?

Bruv, how did you get that?

Called in a favor.

Me, too.

Tell me you know how
to fix one of these.

All day long, bruv.

By the way, I took your
advice and spoke to Jasmine.

Shut up, really?

See?

Lee's always right.

Listen to you pair of pussies.

What?!

Listen old lady,
we're havin' a moment.

A moment?

What are ya, girlies?

Hang on, I remember you.

You were at Tony's place.

Yeah and Terry's.

You are crazy, lady.

You should be at home
doin' old lady things.

How have you got a gun?

Uh, Krish?

Bruv, I'm tryin' to
mediate the situation here.

No, listen to the radio.

Lady bat the fuck
down, turn around

before I call the police.

Listen to your friend.

She is the police.

But she was...

Ooh shit, we're fucked.

It's just the lady
we was lookin' for.

See for years now we've
been paying you off.

To be honest,
you've become a bit

of a bad investment for us.

Every time we have a bit
of cake, you want a slice.

We have a sausage,
you want a munch.

Well now, sausages.

You've become bad for
business, alright?

We think it's about time we
renegotiate your contract.

Ain't that right, Terry?

Now I think you've been
takin' the fuckin' piss

and now you're gettin' yours.

Get in the car, dad.

Boom,.

Rule one, when you can't play
fight, put a gun in your hand.

You got a gun in
your hand, use it.

Point it at her, pull the thing.

Okay, you're out of bullets.

Sometimes this happens.

You bastard!

Who are you?

- I'm a cop.
- Oh good.

Now we're gonna die, bruv.

Why are these cops
so twisted, man?

Relax, I'm a good guy.

Where's your Al Queda contact?

Al Queda?

We don't know Al Queda.

You were photographed leaving
an Al Queda suspect's house.

No.

Ooh, he means Ahmed.

Ahmed ain't a terrorist,
he's a drug dealer

and we only saw the weed,
we didn't inhale any.

What about the Russians?

Roxanna?

Roxanna's our
ex-boss and I think

she might be leaving
so you best deport her.

How do you explain
that you were seen

talking to a former
foreign secretary?

- Who?
- Mr Lauren.

It's fighty pokey time!

Ooh yeah!

He was a freak.

I still have bite marks.

Bite marks?

- Yeah, he's a bad man.
- A bad man.

And the Nigerians?

come out of here!

What, Olu's here?

We owe our landlord some rent.

Terry and Tony?

They're dead.

Yeah they're involved
in some weird turf war.

You two have no
idea what you were

in the middle of here, do ya?

Go on then, fuck
off out of here.

I'll take care of this.

Dispatch this is DI Thompson,
I've got a situation here.

Can you send all units?

Several casualties, over.

Alright babe, how
was the shopping?

Christ, you can't
even die properly, can you?

You take me to the hospital?

No Chi-chi's
got a haircut,

then I need to return
two pairs of shoes.

I could do it after.

Yup, that'll do.

Okay, come on.

- Oh.
- Oh, get up.

I might have just
lost a pint of blood.

- Oh shut up.
- Ow.

For God's sake.

Be careful, don't get
blood on my dress.

No babe, sorry babe.

Jesus Christ you're heavy.

I will ring your mother
about this, I have to say.

What now?

Pull over!

Stop the fuckin' car!

Stop the fuck...

Pull over.

How're we, lads?

Seamus, what happened?

We heard what happened to you
over the police radio there.

Police radio?

Yeah, police radio.

All of us travelers
have the police radio

just in case we
need to keep an eye

on what the buggers are up to.

Anyway, we thought you
better have this.

What's this?

It's just a little somethin'
we picked up for Terry

from the old laundry there.

But now that he's gone
and got murdered,

God rest his fat ugly soul.

We thought since yous
were his last employees,

yous are rightfully
entitled to it.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, 'course I'm sure.

You boys are alright.

Yous are some crack,
lemme tell ya.

Good man.

Good man, yourself.

Take it easy now.

Come on boys, let's go.

Let's go.

You're in the back this time.

I'm not gettin' in the back.

Shut up!

Later, boys.

Watch yourselves now.

What do we do with this?

We can spend it

or

Work hard.

Alright, bruv.

No scratchcards, no weed.

It's time to shine.

Mmm, mmm.

Hi guys, I've got
something for you.

Hiya, boys.

Hi guys, did you missa me?

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