Original subtitles

A bandana? Really?

What, are you on your way to Coachella?

You've reached Margaret and Billy.

Please leave a message after the beep, and we'll call you back in a jiffy.

- Hey, it's me. Sorry to call so early. Figured you'd be up with the baby.

I thought I'd call you before...

I'm sorry I haven't been callin'. Workin' a lot of overtime.

I'm just gonna say it,

I wanna see Billy.

I'm her father and it ain't right that I can't.

And I don't care what your lawyer got that judge to say.

You're letting these assholes talk you into shit that you would never do...

...that we would never do to each other.

I wanna see her. And I wanna see you.

Call me.

Hands! Now!

What the fuck?

No, no, no. No, it's OK.

Just tell me what happened. Who did this to you?

- You're a culebra?

- Who did? Where'd he take you?

- Us? Who's...

Who's us?

Agua Fria...

- Agua. - Agua Fria...

- You stay here.

Hey, hey. Put that down.

- No!

Shit!

Their deaths were only the beginning...

The ultimate offering to the gods.

Who knows what secrets these rituals will reveal?

Where they will take us?

If not for archaeologists such as myself,

many of these secrets might be lost forever.

And with every expedition,

we must be willing to dig,

and dig deep,

to plumb the depths of every dark hole and foreboding crevasse

to find what we seek.

And until we do that,

we may never be able to tap into the energy of the universe

like the ancients did.

Well...

It looks like that just about does it for today.

Don't forget to read and review Chapter 33.

I want those essays.

And I don't mean ese, I want essays.

- That was so wild. - Ah, you were very brave today, Mary-Jo.

- Oh, I don't know. It was all pretend, right?

- I don't know, you may be ready for the real deal.

I don't normally do this, but if you're interested,

I may have an opening on my team.

- You really think I'm ready for that? - Well...

...only the gods can decide.

- Why does this Kate person even matter? - She's not Kate anymore.

She's possessed. She thinks she's some type of queen.

- Does that ring a bell? - There were stories.

Legends. A queen of Xibalba who came to this realm.

- And when were you gonna tell us that? - It's just a legend.

- OK, you know what, where is your boss?

Clearly, you don't have the information we need, maybe she does.

- Lord Venganza is in hiding. She's a target. - Oh, she's a target. Subtly ironic.

We got hell's prisoners coming at us day and night,

but your boss, your boss is the target. OK.

- I thought you were going to recruit Santanico Pandemonium.

- She bailed on us. - Then get the Peacekeeper.

You should be working together. - Oh, my God.

- He's about as close to a fighting force as you're going to get.

- Yeah. That's not entirely accurate.

- Oh, God, here we go...

- I found a passage in the Ancient Word.

It says the Lords once utilized the skills of a demon hunter by the name of Ilhicamina.

"The one who shoots arrows at the sky." - That sounds like a lousy shot.

- This guy tracked, captured,

and tossed most of the Xibalbans in the Labyrinth

by using their own weapons against them.

You want a fighting force? This is a one-man fighting force.

- Ilhicamina is dead.

- I told you. What did I say?

- No, it... it says that he retired, that the Lords gave him

"untouched land in a fertile river basin."

I mean, it doesn't say where, but I think I found the coordinates hidden in the text.

- So he got his 40 acres and a mule, went on his merry way.

Sounds smart. Pay up.

- It doesn't say that he died.

- If he were alive, don't you think we would have sent for him?

He's gone.

- Whoa.

She's hiding something.

- Which is why we have to go and look for this guy.

- We don't have time to go chasing after your footnotes, Richard.

We gotta find the next... thing before it attacks.

- Not if it finds us first.

- Well...

now that we've gotten a little more... comfortable with each other...

...I'd say it's time we talk about next steps.

- Bro! I know you.

You're that Peacekeeper dude. Tanner warned us about you.

- As he should.

I need office hours with the professor. Tell me where he's at... bro.

- So like we talked about in school...

...all those places are real.

There is an Underworld.

There are creatures beneath.

So, if you're ready to join the team,

I need to know that you're committed before we do anything else.

- I am, Professor.

I'm ready to see the other side.

- Well, strap in...

buckle up.

We're goin' for a ride.

Who the hell let you in here?

- Back to your old tricks, huh, Professor? - I didn't even fill her up yet!

Hey, now, Ranger.

Treat me like that and we're gonna have to establish a safe word.

- Thanks a lot, asshole! Now I'll never be on the team!

- Nice goin', Gonzalez.

That little Betty there had a good future ahead of her...

and you just ruined it.

- You slippery bastard.

I finally... get...

...to make you... pay!

You might want to watch your step, Ranger.

- This should be Ilhicamina's spot.

Right where the Pace and lago Vista Rivers meet.

- Well, it looks like the rivers stopped meeting here a while ago.

Guess your magic Mexican story needs an update.

- Maybe they got it.

- Gas and toke? I doubt it.

- Might as well resupply.

- Hey, man, are you here to peruse my merch,

or feel up my art?

- Maybe a little of both?

- Right on, right on, Mr., uh...

...Eduardo Sánchez, huh?

Yeah. Well, my name is Burt,

and I will be your... dispenser today.

What tickles your fancy?

We got Tequila Sunrise...

Nope! Dandelion Paw.

- Actually, I'm looking for a very particular strain.

Do you have, uh...

...Ilhicamina?

- I might've caught that once in the '70s.

In those days, we didn't think twice about goin' bareback, you know?

Actually, it's been around for centuries.

- OK, just buy an eighth and let's get outta here, Richard. Come on.

- I'm sorry I don't stock your ganja, but, um...

Free samples. In the back.

- Hmm... We love free samples.

- We do?

Yeah.

- So where did you hear about this El Camino, anyway?

- Ilhicamina. Like I said, goes way back.

Too bad you don't have the hook-up.

- Even if I did, I bet you people wouldn't appreciate it.

- The true greats are never really appreciated, but you're wrong.

Now's when people need them the most.

- Look...

- Now, that is some nice jewelry you got there, Burt.

- Sure as shit don't look like no chicken foot, though.

- No, more like a, uh, trophy a hunter might wear.

The hand of a chaneque.

Little toddler-sized bastards with wrinkly-ass old-man faces.

Freaky-deaky.

And hard as fuck to kill.

- Time for you to take your old job back.

- What kinda sick shit are you doing to these kids?

- I'm a transformed man, OK, Ranger?

- No, you're just a snake. Same slime, new venom.

- Hey, I don't take lives anymore, all right? I transform them.

- Tell that to your late-night snack.

- Well, that's just part of the food chain. Can't help that.

Now tell me what the hell happened to my student.

- He showed up at my apartment, missing half his neck, begging for help.

- When was the last time anybody here saw Hector?

- Had to be over a week ago.

Chloe hasn't shown up tonight, either, and she never misses a party.

- Take me to him.

Ah! Hector...

- I was gonna sneak him into a morgue in the middle of the night,

do my own investigation.

He staked himself and he didn't immolate.

And he's got a marking on the back of his neck.

Same as your meat-head inside. What's it mean?

- He's family.

- Family. Nice.

- Here, help me out.

If we find out who or what did this to Hector,

maybe we could still save Chloe.

- You were gonna do something awful to me in that alley... weren't you?

Sweet pea, this ain't my first rodeo.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hush now.

No need to be afraid.

We're gonna get you right with the world again.

You'll see.

- These wounds had to have been made with proper tools and precision.

The incision is in the submandibular region,

superior to the digastric muscle.

Oh... sweet Jesus.

- What?

- His venom glands were removed.

- Why would he do that? - 'Cause that's the juice, man.

That's how we reproduce.

That's how we regenerate.

- But he's still got fangs.

- Yeah, and a neutered dog still has a pecker. That doesn't mean it's useful.

Take away the nuts, no pups.

Take away the venom glands... no Culebras.

- That's why he didn't immolate.

Ever seen anything like this?

- History has. Long time ago,

Culebras were terrorized

by a demonic race from...

hell.

- From Xibalba.

- How do you know about Xibalba?

This was found in an abandoned mine shaft

in an unknown border town.

It depicts the hierarchy of Xibalba.

Starting at the top...

...you have the demonic royalty...

And then, as we move down, you've got the dutiful,

yet sadistic, middle class. And underneath it...

the very lowest of the low...

our kind.

Sorry, my kind.

Culebras were nothing but slaves in the Underworld.

They were just meant to serve the higher beings of Xibalba.

And those that disobeyed were castrated.

Not unlike the Nazis did sterilizing the Jews,

or like a plantation owner would do to an uppity slave.

But this guy, this Xibalban in particular,

he came from hell and took the form of a ranch hand back in the day.

He's just doing his job, doing what he thinks he has to do.

Doing what he's done for thousands of years.

Enforcing.

Maintaining the dominance.

And puttin' us back in the place where he thinks we belong.

All the way down here. At the bottom.

We're nothin' more than cattle to these things.

- Don't... kill... me.

- Now, why would I go and do somethin' like that?

'Atta girl. Let her go.

- These things are not gonna to stop, all right?

So we need you to use your particular set of skills

to help us round 'em up, send 'em back.

- Are you wrappin' this up?

Man, that was a... that was a lot of exposition, you know?

- OK, you know what? I'm done askin'.

You come with us, or I put a hole in your face.

- Fine, fine, fine, OK, but can I take another hit?

- Yeah. - OK...

You fuckin' amateurs.

...guys out of my shop and never come back! ¿Comprende?

...guys out of my shop and never come back! ¿Comprende?

- Yes, we comprende, we comprende.

Hey, wait a second. Look, if you're not gonna help us,

at least tell us how to fight these things.

- That would be like, uh, Jimmy Page telling some schmuck with a ukulele

how to play "Stairway to Heaven." It ain't gonna happen.

- Ow, my fuckin' eye! - Too slow, shithead.

Fuck this. Come on, Richard.

No wonder she told us he was dead. - Who said I was dead?

- Venganza's number two. Also a piece of work.

- Ximena.

- Wait, you know her?

- He knows her.

- Boys, you cannot win this war,

you can't even start it unless you know who the real monsters are.

- So you sayin' this is one? - I don't know. Yes, no, maybe. It could be.

All I know is that we gotta get out there and find him.

I mean, can't you...

...put an APB out or something? Do your job?

What, you got a problem? - As a matter of fact, I do.

- What? - I don't take orders from a killer.

- Oh, God, really? Give me a break. Fine. Judge me all you want.

I need to get to my kids.

- Those aren't your kids!

Those are human beings you turned into bloodsuckers in a sex den.

Just because you put a stamp on 'em doesn't make 'em yours!

- They don't belong to me. And I don't belong to them.

That stamp means family!

- Stop. Stop!

The tattoo.

- Yeah? - If that thing saw it on Hector and Chloe...

- He would know how to get to the rest of them.

I gotta get home.

- Think you got the wrong house, Tex.

- I'd say I found exactly the right house.

- Wait, goddammit!

Tanner!

Tanner!

- Howdy.

- When were you gonna tell us? - Tell you what?

- That you're full of shit.

- And that you're a liar. - I am not a liar.

- You told us he was dead.

- Ximena.

- He's dead to me.

- Ah, baby, you gonna do me like that?

Well, it has been two centuries.

I guess that wound is still fresh.

- Wait, wait a second. You two are...?

- Oh, he didn't tell you?

You'll find he forgets a lot of things.

All that smoking fried his brain, if you can even call it that.

- Oh, yeah? He told us that queen -

you know, the one you told us was also probably a bunch of bullshit -

she's probably the same crazy bitch who took Kate.

What was her name again?

- Amaru.

- You and your boss are gonna come clean right now.

We want a meeting with Venganza.

- I don't know where she is. - I'm sorry, what?

- I've got two K-and-R companies trying to find her, my own boss.

- Hey, you really have no idea where she split to?

- She's running scared.

- All right, where the hell did you go?

I know you gotta be around here somewhere.

OK, what do you need? You need space...

- You need privacy...

His venom glands were removed. - You'd be in the middle of nowhere.

- We're nothin' more than cattle to these things.

- Proper tools for the cattle...

- Agua fria... - Agua fria.

Chloe. Hi.

- Looks like I done wrangled me a den master.

Look at you,

spreading that filthy seed of yours all around.

I'm gonna take my time with you, boy.

Yes, sir!

There, there, little lady.

You still got a little more love left to give.

- Chloe...

- This one, on the other hand...

time for him to join his brothers and sisters

in doing the queen's good work.

Welcome to a new life!

It's time to meet your maker, boy!

Yes, sir!

No!

- These demons, they were... they were like her pets...

Queen Amaru, when she ruled over Xibalba,

she used them as enforcers.

Every monster had a job.

A horrible, nasty job. Tell 'em.

Tell 'em about her blood.

Tell 'em why she's out there struttin' around in that little girl's body.

- When the Culebra Lords came to our realm,

Amaru followed them here.

She was incensed that they would call themselves Lords.

So they tricked her. Lured her into a trap and killed her.

- Which is why she pulled a Corleone, had all the Lords whacked

as soon as she got here. All right.

- That's not all, man.

- They feasted on her flesh,

but they saved her blood because it was so powerful.

Gave it to Lord Oculto for safekeeping.

He put it in the blood well, and now she's inside Kate.

- What does she want? - What? No. Fuck that.

How do we get her back? How do we get it out of her?

- You don't.

Kate's gone.

- What does he want?

Ranger.

What do you mean, you found another one?

- Another demon from hell. Agua Fria Ranch. Outside of Houston.

Just get here as fast as you can.

Jesus!

Help!

- Peacekeeper!

It's your job to keep these sons of bitches in line.

That's some job you got.

Someone's gotta do it, right?

- Do they?

I'm being rude with this rag on my face.

Trusted the wrong snake once. Should've known better.

Son of a bitch went on and bit me right in the face.

- Is that why you're torturing Culebras? - What you call torture I call salvation.

Why do you think we take away their venom?

That's their power.

World's gonna need a few brave souls like us

to help restore the natural order of things.

Keep these animals in line,

instead of lettin' 'em run wild.

Go on, now. Take it.

Prove to me you're willing to keep these snakes in line.

Starting with the professor here.

- Wakey, wakey.

Ranger?

Ranger.

Why, aren't you a sight for sore eyes.

- You deserve this.

And I want you conscious for every little bit of it.

Any last words, you slippery bastard?

- Get them!

- I'll kill you with my bare hands if I have to!

- Son of a bitch! Ah!

Gonzalez! Think fast!

Thanks for not, uh, you know,

makin' me a mezzo-soprano with your little knife back there.

Appreciate it.

- Just tryin' to keep the peace.

Thanks, man.

- Step aside.

I see your face healed nicely after my little kiss.

Sometimes there's only one way to skin a cat.

Peacekeeper. I've heard a lot about you. Good stuff.

What the hell are you supposed to be?

- Well, I got a PhD in Cultural Studies, but my friends call me Sex Machine.

- Right.

- Gentlemen.

- Professor. - Professor.

Burt.

Burt.

Hey, Burt. - What?!

I already saved your ass once. - Take it easy, man.

You said he was the slave master. Where are the slaves?

- Shit.

They were all in here.

- She's already taken them. - What are you talking about?

- Amaru! If she made these slaves, then she's gonna... try to open it.

- Open what?

- The door to Xibalba. Fuck.

And you wanted to know what she's gonna do?

She's gonna open that door and let it all just pour through.

Holy fuck, it's gonna be hell on earth, bitches.

Hell on earth.