Original subtitles

Yeah?

What time is it?

Oh, shit.

Okay, um...

I'll be down in about 15 minutes.

Oh, fuck.

Hi, Mike. How are you?

I'm good, how are you?

Good, good, good.

Hi, call me Mike.

How are you all doing?

You have breakfast?

No, not yet. What's for breakfast here?

It's, uh, pig's blood soup.

It is very popular for Thai people.

And that brown thing is pig's blood.

-Michael: You're joking? -No, no joke.

Not only blood but also lung

heart, intestine, kidney,

and everything from inside a pig, you know?

-It's good. -Yummy!

No, thank you.

I'll just stick to Starbucks and donuts.

Michael: Okay, let's do it again.

Woman: Okay.

Michael: Are you all right?

You're so skinny. Are you hungry?

Let's go down to the kitchen and get something to eat.

It says, "Come on, let's go down to the kitchen

I'll make you something to eat."

-What did I say? -You said,

"Let's go down to the kitchen

and get something to eat."

It means the same thing, right?

It... no.

Did you write the script?

No, I didn't.

And camera... set.

And... action.

Pen-ek: Cut.

Pen-ek: Okay, breathe.

Breathe...

Breathe...

Perfect. Cut.

Man: Mark.

Action.

Hi there.

Pen-ek: Cut.

-You're sure black and white? -Yeah, sure.

Man: Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm good. This blanket's a bit itchy.

Man: Hello! You wanna join us for lunch?

I'm still feeling really jet-lagged

and I think I'm gonna lie down in my trailer.

But, hey, enjoy your lunch, guys.

Okay. Are you okay?

I'm-I'm good, I'm cool, thanks.

Okay.

Michael: Ah, great.

Here.

Mmm!

What?

Nothing.

Man: Standby, ready.

And... action.

You're so skinny.

Are ya hungry?

Let's go downstairs and eat something in the kitchen.

Pen-ek: Cut.

Michael, the script says,

"Let's go down to the kitchen.

I'll make you something to eat."

And what did I say?

Pen-ek: You said, "Let's go downstairs

to eat something in the kitchen."

Same thing, right?

Pen-ek: Yeah, but, the rhythm is different though.

-Let's go again, okay? -Okay.

Pen-ek: Thank you.

Man: Mark.

Okay, and... camera set.

Man: And action.

You're so skinny.

Are ya hungry?

Let's go downstairs and get something to eat in the kitchen--

Pen-ek: Cut.

-Michael? -Yeah?

Please say the line the way it's written in the script.

Uh, okay, the line is,

"Let's go down to the kitchen.

I'll make you something to eat."

Okay?

Just "kitchen"

and then, "I'll make you something to eat."

Okay.

Man: Mark.

Standby, ready.

And... action.

You're so skinny.

Are ya hungry?

Let's go down to the kitchen

and I'll make you something to eat.

Pen-ek: Cut.

Pen-ek, um, why didn't you shoot this clean?

And then cut it together afterwards?

Okay, your call. Just a suggestion.

Pen-ek: Thank you.

Pen-ek: Standby, ready.

Man: Mark.

And... action.

You're so skinny.

Are ya hungry?

-Let's go downstairs-- -Pen-ek: Ah. Cut!

I can't fuckin' believe this!

Jesus Christ!

Yeah. As soon as they say, "This is a wrap,"

I'm outta here.

I am on the first plane out of here.

No, I'm not sticking around.

I don't know why I took this job to begin with.

Yeah, it's not like they're paying me anything.

Yeah, anyway...

Yeah.

Is the monkey there?

Yeah, let me speak to her.

Hey, kiddo. How you doin'?

Yeah, I'm gonna be home soon.

Yeah, I'm really far away in a place you wouldn't like.

What's this?

It's, uh, beef noodles with cow's blood.

-Michael: Cow's blood? -Por: Yeah.

It makes you last longer...

in bed.

Yeah. Right.

Michael: Hey, Por. What's this?

Oh, um, when we shoot movies in Thailand,

the director likes to pray to the spirits.

I hope it makes this movie better.

I don't know.

Well, look, if the crew doesn't get their act together,

the camera doesn't stop over-heating,

you're gonna need a lot more than fruits and flowers

to save this film.

Hey, you know what we do

when we want to shoot in the monsoon season

and we don't want it to rain?

No idea.

We find someone who's a virgin on the crew

and we let her stick lemongrasses into the ground.

And that stops the rain?

-It works every time. -Ha!

That explains global warming.

It's Thai virgins!

Pen-ek: Standby, ready.

Quiet, please.

Roll sound, please.

Man: Mark.

Ready and...

action.

Cheers.

You don't say much, do ya?

Only been here a couple of weeks.

Annie and the kids are still in Atlanta.

They'll join me later once things settle down a bit.

Everything in the Bangkok office is a real mess.

You got--

Oh, Jesus.

Pen-ek: Cut!

Michael: Come on, people.

We're trying to make a movie here.

Turn off your phones!

If this was Hollywood,

you'd be outta here right now.

Man: Mark.

Action.

Cheers.

You don't say much, do you?

Well, I've only been here a couple of weeks.

Annie and the kids are still in Atlanta.

They'll join me later, once I settle down a bit.

You know, it's really--

Pen-ek: Cut.

That phone call really distracted me.

Pen-ek: Are you okay, Michael?

Yeah, yeah, it's just really hot.

Man: Mark.

Standby, ready.

And... action.

That's Dorothy.

I know what you're thinking, pal.

You're thinking, she's a smoker.

And the fact that she had cancer

is from the manicures, not Mrs. Kim's smoking.

Pen-ek: Cut!

Her cancer is from her smoking.

Man: Mark.

She got the manicures and the...

Man: Mark.

...pedicures, not Mrs. Kim's--

Pen-ek: Cut!

-Dorothy does smoke. -Okay.

Man: Mark.

-Pen-ek: Cut. -Man: Mark.

Uh...

Man: Mark.

Mark. Mark.

-The cancer is from the-- -Pen-ek: Cut.

Pen-ek: She...

"The fact that she's a smoker, right?"

"She's a smoker." Right, yeah, okay.

Pen-ek: Are you okay?

I'm just... I'm really, really hot.

Pen-ek: Okay, let's take a break.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Pen-ek: Yeah, sure.

(inaudible)

The food here is atrocious.

You wouldn't believe it.

They eat pig's blood and pig intestines.

Yeah.

Yeah, they do, I don't.

Well I'm not gonna touch the stuff.

Yeah.

You know, remember in China they eat dog.

But they take it to a whole other level here.

It's nasty!

(chuckles) Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, they gave me this weird orange fruit today.

Yeah, I was supposed to bring it back here to the hotel.

They gave it to me with a little baggy that looks like cum.

Yeah, (chuckles) it's really nasty.

Yeah.

No, I'm just gonna stick to burgers, donuts,

and good-old Starbucks, thank you.

Ah, shit!

Fuck! Shit.

God damn it.

Fuck!

Yeah, hi. Dr. Somboon?

This is Paul Conrad.

Pen-ek: Cut!

The doctor's name is Somporn.

Somboon is the driver.

Right.

Man: Okay, reset.

Okay, let's go again. Straight away.

Pen-ek: Dr. Somporn.

Man: Mark.

Okay, the doctor is Somporn, okay?

Somporn, Dr. Somporn.

Man: And... action.

Ah, shit.

Fuck!

Shit!

Ah, Jesus Christ.

Oh.

Yeah, hi, Dr. Somboon.

Yeah, this is Paul Conrad.

Pen-ek: Cut.

Somporn, Dr. Somporn.

Are you okay, Mike?

Can we have the aircon on?

Pen-ek: You mean like shooting with the aircon on?

Yeah.

It's really hot.

Michael, sorry.

We can't have the aircon on.

-The monologue is really long-- -Don't touch me!

Pen-ek: Okay, let's go again.

Come on, let's go again.

Okay, the driver is Somboon.

The doctor is Somporn.

Yeah, right.

Man: Mark.

Okay, and... camera set.

Pen-ek: It's Dr. Somporn.

The driver is Somboon, okay?

Man: Standby and... action.

Michael: Ah, shit.

Fuck.

Shit!

Yeah, hi, Dr. Somboon.

Yeah, this is Mike--

Pen-ek: Cut.

You're Paul Conrad, not Mike.

The character's name is Paul Conrad.

Man: Mark.

Man: Michael! Lunch?

Michael: You know, I really do need to work on my lines, so...

I think I'm gonna go back to my trailer

and, yeah, work on my lines

but, thanks, enjoy lunch.

Por: Here.

Shit! Fuck!

Jesus Christ, shit!

Shit.

Hi, Dr. Somporn?

Yeah, this is Paul Conrad.

Yeah.

I've been attacked.

Attacked in my house.

Yeah.

Two guys came in...

and they were trying to take the TV.

Yeah, they cut my hand.

No, they didn't cut my hand off.

They just cut my, oh...

Michael?

Por: Mike?

Have this. It'll make you feel better.

What is it?

It's bamboo skin in special soup.

It clears your head and stops you from throwing up.

Special soup?

What's in it, cow's brain?

Not brain.

Penis.

Por, can you go over to my bag

and look around and get my medication?

Por: Okay.

I don't see it.

Michael: Shit!

I must have left it at the hotel.

You don't need medicine, Mike,

just have the soup, trust me.

You'll be on your feet in no time.

Penis soup, huh?

No penis, it's just Chinese herbs.

Seriously, Por, could you please

go back to the hotel, go in my room,

in the bathroom, next to the sink,

my medication should be right there.

Okay, so...

it'll take a while so while you wait,

just have this soup, okay?

-No penis? -No.

Where did you get the soup?

Por: Orn, the caterer made it.

What's her name again?

-Por: Who? -The caterer.

Por: Orn.

O-R-N.

Shit!

Jesus Christ, shoot!

Fuck!

Shit.

Jesus.

Hi, Dr. Somporn?

Yeah, this is Paul Conrad.

Yeah, sorry to disturb you so late but I've been attacked.

Yeah, attacked at my house.

Nah, they got away.

They were trying to steal a TV set

but they cut my hand.

No, they didn't cut my hand off,

they just cut my hand.

Pen-ek: Perfect, cut.

Very nice.

But Michael, can you-- can we do one more take

where you're a bit more scared?

I think when you walk in, it was good,

I mean, the level was good,

but when you talked on the phone,

it drops down a bit?

-Okay. -Can we try again?

Yeah, sure, let's go right ahead.

Real sorry about that. Let's do it.

Pen-ek: Okay.

Man: Action!

Thanks so much, Doctor.

You're welcome.

I hope you recover soon.

You too!

Normally I'd invite you in for a drink

but it is 5:00 in the morning.

You probably want to get home to bed.

You're right. I'll take a rain check.

-Yep. Good night. -Night.

Pen-ek: Cut!

Michael, we have to take a break.

Michael: That's okay. I'm all right.

-No problem. -I'm sorry.

It's because of the insects in the backyard.

Michael: No worries. I'm all good.

Hi.

What's the soup?

The soup, what's the soup?

Tom Fuck?

Interesting name.

Can I have some?

Can I have some of the soup?

Yeah, yeah.

Thank you. Okay.

Thank you.

Can I eat here?

It's very good.

Very good.

What is that?

What is it?

Ma muang.

Oops.

Yes.

I like it. It's very good.

Thank you very much. I gotta go back.

I'll take some of these with me.

It's okay. I'll just take a few.

No, that's all right.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thanks.

Michael: Hi!

Hi.

-Hi, Mike. -Michael: Hi!

What are you doing here?

It's your day off.

I know, but I got really bored

hanging out at the hotel

so I thought I'd come and hang out here!

These are for the crew.

Oh, thank you.

Go and do your job.

I'm fine, I can entertainment myself.

Don't worry about me.

If you need anything, just let Por know, okay?

I will, I'm just gonna get something cold to drink.

Okay.

Hi.

Just ask her if it's okay if we watch her cook.

I just wanna see how she does it.

Can you ask her where did she learn to cook?

Um...

her and her mother used to own a restaurant.

And the rent got higher

so they closed down the restaurant.

And she has this job because

her husband works as a driver on film sets.

-Michael: Okay. -Por: Yeah.

Michael: I think I'd like to meet her mother.

Michael: Just tell her I'd like to meet her mother

because I think she's done a great job.

I really like her recipes.

Michael: Her husband's a driver on this set?

He's in jail.

Really? What for?

She said he wrote something down on the internet

and then soldiers just caught him.

You can get arrested for that here?

-Por: I think so. -Michael: Whoa.

-What's this? -He made it for you.

-Really? -It's for you.

Wow. Thanks a lot.

That's really nice.

You know what it is?

It's a north-eastern kind of a soup.

Wow, it's delicious!

Really?

Thank you. It's really good.

Any of you want some? Do you want some?

Yeah, I'll try some.

It's hot. I mean, hot-hot.

-Not spicy hot. -Okay.

Thank you!

Yeah, and then there was this great soup

that the cook on the set made for me.

There was something really special about it.

When you looked at it, it was really, really simple.

But when you ate it, it was really complex.

You know what I mean?

No, of course you don't know what I mean.

Anyway, the other thing I really like here

is that everybody shares their food.

You know, when we sit down on the set to eat,

all the food's put on the table and we just all dig in together.

Everybody just shares.

We don't do that in the U.S.

We just sort of eat by ourselves, our own food.

We don't share anything.

Michael: Hi.

Thank you.

Okay.

Man: Do you like Thai food?

Yeah, I like Thai food a lot now!

He likes Thai food.

I love it, yeah!

Is that funny?

No, it's okay to like Thai food.

Okay, good.

Happy to know that you like Thai food now.

Man: Mark.

Okay, here we go, stand by.

Okay, sunglasses off, towel off, please.

And... action!

Keep going, Michael!

Michael, go, go!

Shake your head!

Cut, that was great!

Thank you, Michael!

For Michael, it's a wrap for this movie!

Orn?

Orn.

Por, could you tell her that

I got these for her to give to her husband

the next time she visits him.

And these, these are for you.

Thank you for everything you've done for me.

Michael: Thank you.

What's this?

Oh.

Thank you very much.

It's very nice, thank you.