Original subtitles

[GASPS]

No.

[FAST-PACED PIANO PLAYING]

Hello.

Hello.

Okay, I'm worried you aren't in love with me anymore

and I am afraid to bring it up

because maybe you'll admit that you aren't

or you'll think I'm being paranoid

which then might make my concern a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You're being paranoid.

Your eyes look at me dead sometimes.

That is so unfair. My eyes sparkle!

Don't you think, like,

now might be a good time to tell me you love me though?

Now?

Do I need to?

No one needs to, I just thought you might want to.

Like, I'd inspire a compulsion in you to say it.

I thought it was obvious 'cause I'm, like, here.

No, lots of people in the world are laying in bed right now

with someone they don't love.

[SIGHS]

[DRAMATIC PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]

This music is making me seem more insane than I am.

Matilda, use the keyboard!

Sorry!

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com

TELLULAH: I've been meaning to tell you something.

What?

I've been texting Leonard.

Is that bad?

Oh, no, it's bad.

Are you still in love with him?

I'm absolutely not in love with him.

Do you want me to stop? I can stop.

I am not in love with him!

I hate him, he's a villain.

Ah, but love and hate are two sides of the same coin.

I just, I don't want my friend dating a bully.

A bully? What, are we eight years old?

I just think we should be trying to date nice boys.

You are so obsessed with him it's not even funny, bitch.

Should we see if he'll send us a nude?

Is... Is that an option?

Boom! You wanna see his junk so bad!

Oh, my God!

Of course I do.

Okay.

What... What are you saying?

Leonard, I want to see

your throbbing member so bad.

Love, Genevieve.

- What? - I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

It's from me.

[CELL PHONE CHIMES]

He wants a pic of my vag first.

He asked for that?

He's no fool.

Why do you have to go first?

Feminists go first.

Do I send it?

Are you crazy?

I don't know what to say.

- Do I take a photo? - I'm not taking it.

- I don't know what to do. - Don't.

Let's send someone else's.

There's so many variations, just pick one.

Yeah, but, like, which one?

A good vagina, I don't know.

A good va... What's the criteria?

That one looks like Judge Judy.

- No it doesn't. - Okay, okay.

Um, this one has a nice sense of symmetry

and I believe it for you.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that's... that one's the best one.

That's-that's a good one.

Oh, my God.

Okay, I'm-I'm sending it to you.

[COMPUTER BEEPS]

- [CELL PHONE CHIMES] - Got it.

Sent it.

[CELL PHONE CHIMES]

Here you go.

[SOFTLY]: Oh, my God.

That's his actual...

I can tell by his hand.

Hey, boyfriend.

[UNENTHUSIASTICALLY]: Hey.

I'm feeling down after last night.

Still?

You really didn't do much to make me feel better.

Shh.

Hey, hey, hey. Shush now.

Hey, hey.

- [CHUCKLES] Ow. - [KISSES]

Are you gonna be like this all day?

I was hoping maybe we could go to the beach.

You hate the beach.

Yeah, when I say the beach,

I mean, like, somewhere where I'm not in trouble.

You aren't in trouble.

- I'm not in trouble? - You're not in trouble.

Why would I be?

Why would anybody even want to put me in trouble?

I feel like you're not taking me seriously.

I'm not taking you seriously!

Well, please do!

[GRUNTS]

I'm in trouble. I'm in palpable, palpable trouble.

You're not in trouble.

I'm not mad at you, okay?

I'm just feeling hurt.

You want me to go onto the naughty corner?

Is that what you want? Yeah, I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna be in the naughty corner.

Turn around then.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Girls send pictures all the time.

Uptown and downtown.

It's disgusting.

[WHISPERING]: Tellulah and I sent that exact vagina last night.

That's your vagina?

We got it off the Internet.

Leonard sent us his and then we swapped photos.

You broke the law.

It's child pornography.

We don't know how old that vagina is.

Leonard, though.

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

You could get jail time.

I mean, or at best, fine/community service.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm deleting it right now.

Um, but before you do, can I... see it?

It's so good.

Ha.

I would have stopped you if I had been

invited to the sleepover.

You're gonna have to tell Tellulah what he's done.

She thinks I'm in love with him.

She'll think I'm up to something.

I'm just not ready to show the whole school my vagina.

Not yet.

What? No, you don't have to do that.

We'll see.

All right, let's do this. Let's get... Let's get serious.

How you doing? How you doing, buddy?

What's wrong, buddy?

Okay, last night I wanted you to tell me

that you love me, and you didn't.

And I don't understand why

you didn't wanna make me to feel better?

All right. Well, it's just...

Wait, do you want the truth

or do you want me to say cute distracting things so we can move on?

No, you always do that.

I want you to tell me the truth.

- Okay, I'll tell you the truth. - [CELL PHONE RINGING]

Ah!

Who could that be?

Hello?

Hello, it's Matilda's teacher, Sam.

Hi! Hello.

SAM [OVER PHONE]: I heard about Juilliard

and want to bask in the glory with you.

Yeah, it's great.

It's great.

She's gonna put me in trouble as well.

Everybody just wants to put me in trouble.

... any questions I can answer for you?

Questions? Was I meant to have questions?

No, I don't have any questions.

Have you decided to, in fact, enroll?

NICHOLAS [OVER PHONE]: Yes, of course.

Okay, so, um, do we need to make a plan,

or do you already have one?

NICHOLAS: Yeah, I have a plan.

I have heaps of plans. I have so many plans.

I just wanna make sure we aren't underestimating

what we're up against here.

Me, too.

Okay, I gotta go now I'm afraid.

NICHOLAS: Okay, thanks.

Thanks, Sam.

- Wait, are you still here? - SAM: Yeah.

I never hang up first, as a therapeutic tool.

NICHOLAS: Oh. Oh, okay.

Well, I'm going to hang up.

- SAM: You're held until you do. - Okay.

[CELL PHONE BEEPS]

- All right, you, you. - Me?

- Yes. - Mm-hmm.

So, I was all cozy,

and then you came in with all this hassle,

and it was annoying,

and I find it hard to say

I love you when I don't mean it.

Okay, wow.

I guess I didn't want the truth at all then.

What, sometimes I don't feel it so then I don't say it.

There are times when you don't love me?

Yeah, that's normal, isn't it?

- I don't think so. - No, I think that's...

I think that's normal.

I do. I just think other people are better

at lying about it than me.

Well, aren't there times when you don't love me?

No.

Well, I think that's odd.

Are you guys going to the show's after party?

- DREA [OVER RADIO]: No. - No.

They never invite the tech crew.

Without us they'd be performing in the dark with no sound.

You guys wanna come over to my house?

- Yeah. - JEREMY [OVER RADIO]: Yeah.

Jeremy, I think Drea has a crush on me.

JEREMY: Drea isn't queer.

Is she? Are you?

I don't wanna answer.

[MATILDA GIGGLES]

You guys know I'm sex-positive, right?

- Yeah. - I've been thinking

about college and how basically

we're never gonna see each other again.

I-I didn't apply for college.

My parents don't think I'm ready.

You wanna fool around together?

Whoa. Random.

In the controlled environment of my bedroom.

Sounds like a lot of... touching.

Yeah, touching. Nudity, if you want.

JEREMY: Uh, I don't know.

Do I ask my mom?

She-she'll wanna know everything.

So we go to your bedroom and then what?

How does it start?

I'll tell you when it starts.

I wanted to ask that, too.

Uh, I don't even know how it starts.

I'll just say, "I'm starting."

- I'm in. - I'm in.

I just want my boyfriend to love me all the time.

I do!

But you think I'm annoying.

Sometimes.

I can't control what I think.

- [SCOFFS] - Ugh!

I wish I just lied to you,

and we lived a lie where you're never annoying.

I manage to love you all the time.

Do you? 'Cause it doesn't feel like it

when I look at you looking at me like that.

It feels like actually you're highly critical of me.

Do you even love me?

I love you.

I just wish you weren't an open sink hole of need.

- [CELL PHONE RINGING] - [CHUCKLES]

One moment. Sorry.

- Oh, hey, honey. - GENEVIEVE [OVER PHONE]: Hi.

Um, so, this... this thing happened.

Oh, no, not another thing.

I'm in a thing with Alex at the moment.

He's glaring at me.

This big, big glaring.

I don't have anyone else to ask.

Not that you would want anyone else, though,

because you've got me.

Leonard asked Tellulah for a vagina pic.

Whoa, we're here already?

Looks like it.

I've never even sent a nude pic.

- Never? - No, it doesn't photograph well.

I turn up with it, though, and then I show it.

GENEVIEVE: Focus!

We sent a fake one.

Cunning.

And Leonard passed it around the whole school.

Not a shocking twist.

GENEVIEVE: Do I tell her what he's done?

She'll think I'm happy about it.

Why will she think you're happy about it?

I used to like him.

Who the hell is this Casanova?

Hello?

I don't know what to do.

I don't know, you've got more information than I do.

I think I should tell her what he's done.

That's sounds very sound.

Do that.

- Thanks. - NICHOLAS: Bye.

Kids these days.

Huh?

All right, okay, where were we?

Uh, "open sinkhole of need."

Probably a bit much.

Of course. I'm an open sinkhole of need.

You did this to me.

- I used to be fun! - Oh, come on.

When I did just one little thing in Mexico

that you didn't like, you packed your bags.

You threw raw fish on me.

And it annoyed you and you wanted to leave me.

It's normal.

I'm really sorry if I hurt you.

No, I really wasn't, um...

I really wasn't bothered by it,

I just wanted some ammunition.

I wish I could figure out how to stop loving you

so I could just be free.

- [CELL PHONE RINGING] - Sorry. One moment.

- No, please take it. - Yeah?

Oh. Hello. Hey, babe.

Remember we decided I could have sex if I asked you first?

I feel a little taken out of context.

You said I could be sex-positive.

That is a different thing, but go on.

Can Jeremy and Drea come over for a threesome?

Um...

Here? Like, over here?

They're waiting.

NICHOLAS: Drea I saw coming, but Jeremy?

They're both autistic.

NICHOLAS: Okay. Well, that...

that doesn't matter to me.

But...

[SIGHS]

Yeah, I can't think of a reason why not.

Well, think harder.

Great. Will you tidy up my room?

What, now I have to do cleaning?

Everyone's having fun, and I'm just stuck here with you.

What? I was just joking.

Stop it. I'm... funny.

Why won't you just think that I'm funny?

Because it's not fun-n-ny!

It's mean!

Why won't you just love me again

so that I can love you again?

Ugh!

Okay. Fine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

In summary, not everything's gonna be perfect all the time,

and that's okay.

Kiss?

- Fine. - Yeah.

So are we hosting this thing?

Ugh.

Can't they just do it behind a shed like I had to?

- You never did that. - No, of course not.

Every time it's like entering the cave of wonders.

Oh, brother. No.

Ugh.

[EXCLAIMS]

Maybe Matilda isn't prepared for college.

Hmm.

Look at you over there cleaning up my sister's mold.

Maybe I just should have been better.

- Yes! - Yeah.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Do you wanna move in?

What?

Do you wanna move in?

Where's this coming from?

Um, I don't know.

I was trying to... I was trying to figure out

a way to make you like me again

and that's what I came up with.

Well, how long have you been thinking about this?

- Just now. - Well, people think about things.

You know, contemplate them.

And are thoughtful.

Not this guy, though.

I'm spontaneous.

You're insane!

You have two children living in this house.

You can't just invite me to move in.

- Yeah. - It's erratic!

We have... something we need to tell you.

Is it that you guys are dumb bitches?

Because I already got that memo.

When you say things like that,

who is it for? Is it for us?

Seriously.

I heard about yours and Genevieve's sleepover.

And I'm not mad about it, but I am concerned.

Leonard has taken a poor innocent woman's vagina photo,

and spread it around the school thinking it was yours.

I'm sorry, babe.

Well, it was a very beautiful vagina.

Very symmetrical.

[SIGHS]

You coming?

- Wh-where? - To find Leonard.

There he is.

I need you guys for moral support.

What are you gonna do?

- I'm asking him out. - What?

Still?

Can you just explain to me

what he would have to do for you to stop liking him?

I mean, how evil is he allowed to be?

You want some advice?

- I don't know. - She's just gonna say it.

Crushes are over, ladies, okay?

And sex is coming.

And I'm gonna do it with the bad guy with the good face,

because I'm a highly visual person.

I'm wanna look back on my high school years

and be so proud that I did it

with all the hottest guys in school.

More than one?

- There's more than one, Barb. - You know why?

We have the rest of our lives

to settle for someone chubby with a nice job

who respects us.

I am not prepared to compromise on hotness now.

BARB: There she goes.

Chasing tail.

Hey.

What's up?

You wanna chill?

Yeah. Yeah, cool.

What's gonna happen to her?

Everything.

Oh, my God, Duke, my long lost love.

Hello. Hello, my friend.

Well, we've got stuff to do, so...

Yes, you do. Yeah. Okay.

Hello, Drea. Hello, Jeremy.

No one ate my soup.

What is going on in there?

It's very... I just feel very...

- ALEX: Hmm. - Hello.

Can Duke stay in the kitchen an hour or two?

- Depending... - Yes. Yes, of course, he can.

Hey, Duke. Hey, buddy.

Ready to roll.

Okay, Jeremy, take off your shirt.

JEREMY: I got, like...

It-it felt too...

I got embarrassed.

That's fine. Should I take mine off?

Not yet.

Well, what are we doing first?

- Oral. - JEREMY: Oral?

Haven't even showered.

What if we each say what we wanna do?

Um...

I don't want to.

You don't have my consent.

I hope that's cool.

Um, I wrote a list of things I wanted to try.

In case you guys wanna do it instead.

- Ice cubes, hot wax, biting. - [DOOR CLOSES]

He's such a loser.

[SMOOCHING]

ALEX: Ah, yeah, sexy.

[CHUCKLING]

Okay.

Okay.

Just to be clear, I, like, really don't want you to move in.

I just, I wasn't thinking.

- Yeah, I don't want to either. - No one wants to.

MATILDA: Okay.

Let's do this.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

Um, the-the thing is...

I'm hypo-sensitive to touch,

which you might think means I don't feel things

but actually I do, just very faintly.

It's like a tickle and it isn't that nice.

Okay.

So you have to grab me firmly.

Um, can I grab you to demonstrate?

Mm-hmm.

You try.

Okay.

- Can-can you grab me harder? - Okay.

Harder.

That's awesome.

Okay, now do it to me.

Now this.

Hi, Jeremy.

- Hey. - Oh, no.

J... Jeremy is in the hallway?

Like he froze.

[CHUCKLING]

Hey, buddy, you want some soup?

- Yeah. - Yeah!

You want some soup. Come on.

Thank you.

Good soup.

[LAUGHING]

Yeah?

♪♪

GENEVIEVE: This is my apology.

From the back row.

Can you hear me?

This is my apology.

I took too long.

And the mold came.

And the sun fell.

I'm moondust.

I'm aftertaste.

This is my apology.

For a slow-motion pace.