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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,810 Don't lie to me! Why were you looking at her? 2 00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:03,555 You know I care about you. 3 00:00:05,652 --> 00:00:07,232 You all right, bao bao? 4 00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,567 Yes, I'm recovering. I don't need any Chinese medicine. 5 00:00:09,637 --> 00:00:11,157 I make you some soup! 6 00:00:11,227 --> 00:00:12,537 Oh, cool. 7 00:00:12,607 --> 00:00:16,187 Yeah, with Chinese yams and ramen. 8 00:00:16,257 --> 00:00:18,497 It's good for you. 9 00:00:18,567 --> 00:00:20,397 And it's good for your skin. 10 00:00:20,467 --> 00:00:22,133 Uh, you know what? I'm doing good for right now. 11 00:00:22,157 --> 00:00:25,297 'Cause I have Amer... I have American stuff, thanks. 12 00:00:25,367 --> 00:00:27,847 What are you watching? "Love Island." 13 00:00:27,917 --> 00:00:30,917 It's episode 48 of 52, season three. 14 00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:33,397 Oh my God... what? 15 00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:35,157 Those people are gutter trash. 16 00:00:35,227 --> 00:00:38,467 Hey! Hey! Wha... wha... Grandma! 17 00:00:38,537 --> 00:00:39,947 You're never gonna get better 18 00:00:40,017 --> 00:00:42,057 by being on the phone all the time. 19 00:00:42,127 --> 00:00:43,607 My life is really hard right now. 20 00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:44,957 Can you give me my phone please? 21 00:00:45,017 --> 00:00:47,297 You wanna hear about a hard life? 22 00:00:47,367 --> 00:00:49,397 Let me tell you a story. 23 00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:52,297 From, like, orally? Like an oral story? 24 00:00:52,367 --> 00:00:54,677 It's the true story 25 00:00:54,747 --> 00:00:57,537 about how your Grandma 26 00:00:57,607 --> 00:00:59,847 met your Grandpa. 27 00:00:59,917 --> 00:01:02,747 Um, do I... I'm good for now, or... 28 00:01:02,807 --> 00:01:04,437 Let's do this! 29 00:01:18,127 --> 00:01:19,747 Oh, oh, no. 30 00:01:19,807 --> 00:01:22,087 Is this gonna be like one of those Korean dramas? 31 00:01:22,157 --> 00:01:24,707 You know it. 32 00:01:24,777 --> 00:01:27,087 What?! That... that's my title card? 33 00:01:27,157 --> 00:01:29,537 Why do you gotta put my title card like that? 34 00:01:29,607 --> 00:01:31,297 Ah! They didn't put my real name! 35 00:01:39,987 --> 00:01:43,127 Wait, wait-wait-wait. That's supposed to be you? 36 00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:45,607 Grandma, you were hot and five-foot-ten? 37 00:01:45,677 --> 00:01:47,497 Yeah, and I'm still hot. 38 00:01:47,567 --> 00:01:50,017 Anyways, the story begins 39 00:01:50,087 --> 00:01:53,467 back on my family's estate in rural China. 40 00:01:53,537 --> 00:01:57,467 It was 1965. My family was wealthy. 41 00:01:57,537 --> 00:01:59,157 So I spent my days doing 42 00:01:59,227 --> 00:02:02,747 what all rich girls like to do in 1965. 43 00:02:02,807 --> 00:02:04,637 Sit under a parasol 44 00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:07,747 and stare at things for a long time. 45 00:02:07,807 --> 00:02:10,437 It was nice to be rich. 46 00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:13,227 Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Chen. 47 00:02:13,297 --> 00:02:14,637 You spoke English? 48 00:02:14,707 --> 00:02:16,187 I spoke Chinese, 49 00:02:16,257 --> 00:02:19,437 but I'm translating to make it easier for you. 50 00:02:19,497 --> 00:02:21,157 O... okay. 51 00:02:21,227 --> 00:02:24,227 Life was good, until one day 52 00:02:24,297 --> 00:02:26,017 our garbage man... 53 00:02:28,677 --> 00:02:29,607 ...dropped dead. 54 00:02:29,677 --> 00:02:30,917 Oh, shit! 55 00:02:30,987 --> 00:02:32,397 Oh, it's okay. 56 00:02:32,467 --> 00:02:35,017 Because he was immediately replaced by... 57 00:02:36,947 --> 00:02:40,467 ♪ Ooh... ♪ 58 00:02:41,707 --> 00:02:42,753 Garbage Boy. 59 00:02:42,777 --> 00:02:46,777 ♪ Oh yeah ♪ 60 00:02:46,847 --> 00:02:50,777 ♪ I'm cryin' out to you ♪ 61 00:02:50,847 --> 00:02:52,607 ♪ Baby ♪ 62 00:02:52,677 --> 00:02:55,327 Oh, my God, that is literally so fucking gross right now. 63 00:02:55,397 --> 00:02:59,227 No! Garbage Boy was so hot. 64 00:02:59,297 --> 00:03:02,497 All I wanted was to get his attention. 65 00:03:02,567 --> 00:03:05,707 ♪ Now, pretty baby, ooh ♪ 66 00:03:05,777 --> 00:03:07,497 ♪ Tell me ♪ 67 00:03:07,567 --> 00:03:11,807 ♪ Do you like what you see? 'Cause you know... ♪ 68 00:03:11,877 --> 00:03:14,057 You done with that milk? 69 00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,057 I am now. 70 00:03:16,127 --> 00:03:18,087 There's still a bit left. 71 00:03:18,157 --> 00:03:22,707 ♪ Something's coming over me ♪ 72 00:03:22,777 --> 00:03:26,227 ♪ Is it love? ♪ 73 00:03:26,297 --> 00:03:28,747 Beautiful watch... 74 00:03:28,807 --> 00:03:31,017 ...for a beautiful girl. This old thing? 75 00:03:31,087 --> 00:03:33,607 It's a family heirloom, I just... 76 00:03:33,677 --> 00:03:37,227 And just like that, he took my breath away. 77 00:03:37,297 --> 00:03:41,467 I knew right then that I needed to be with that boy. 78 00:03:41,537 --> 00:03:43,497 The kid that chugs your old milk? 79 00:03:43,567 --> 00:03:45,877 Oh, you sound like my mother. 80 00:03:45,947 --> 00:03:50,297 She completely disapproved of me dating Garbage Boy. 81 00:03:55,637 --> 00:03:57,467 I don't wanna be with a rich boy. 82 00:03:57,537 --> 00:03:59,397 Garbage Boy is not trash! 83 00:04:02,437 --> 00:04:04,327 Milk doesn't even expire. 84 00:04:06,327 --> 00:04:10,707 But my mother's disapproval only made me want him more. 85 00:04:12,227 --> 00:04:15,157 Garbage Boy and I exchanged notes in secret. 86 00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:22,877 One day, I was able to sneak away for just long enough. 87 00:04:33,437 --> 00:04:35,103 That's a whole lotta lip there, Grandma. 88 00:04:35,127 --> 00:04:37,677 Yes, we didn't use tongue 89 00:04:37,747 --> 00:04:40,747 because it wasn't of the era. 90 00:04:40,807 --> 00:04:43,397 So then y'all smashed, Had a couple babies. 91 00:04:43,467 --> 00:04:46,397 Here I am now, um... I gotta check my Weibo. 92 00:04:46,467 --> 00:04:48,777 Hey! This story's not over! 93 00:04:48,847 --> 00:04:52,397 Things were going really well. 94 00:04:52,467 --> 00:04:55,397 Until 1966. 95 00:04:55,467 --> 00:04:58,297 It was the start of the Cultural Revolution. 96 00:04:58,367 --> 00:05:01,497 A time when rich people and intellectuals were forced 97 00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:05,327 by the government to destroy any sign of wealth and status. 98 00:05:05,397 --> 00:05:09,227 Even though my family was wealthy and therefore targets, 99 00:05:09,297 --> 00:05:11,947 I still had other things on my mind. 100 00:05:23,567 --> 00:05:25,057 What up, girl? 101 00:05:25,127 --> 00:05:26,497 It me, Shu Shu. 102 00:05:26,567 --> 00:05:29,607 Shu Shu. 103 00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,497 You mean, Shu Shu, Shu Shu? 104 00:05:31,567 --> 00:05:33,607 The one who couldn't go to Atlantic City? 105 00:05:33,677 --> 00:05:35,987 Yeah, my best friend from China. 106 00:05:36,057 --> 00:05:38,777 We told each other everything. 107 00:05:38,847 --> 00:05:40,877 Hello, Best Friend Shu Shu. 108 00:05:40,947 --> 00:05:42,847 Sorry for the wide smile. 109 00:05:42,917 --> 00:05:45,327 I'm just... so in love. 110 00:05:45,397 --> 00:05:47,777 Oh, really? With who? 111 00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:50,777 The boy who takes out our garbage. 112 00:05:50,847 --> 00:05:52,847 Garbage Boy. Oh, Garbage Boy. 113 00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:54,917 He is fine. Saw him rip apart 114 00:05:54,987 --> 00:05:57,847 a cardboard box once. No scissors, shit was sick. 115 00:05:59,157 --> 00:06:01,877 Anyway, enough about me. How are you, Shu Shu? 116 00:06:01,947 --> 00:06:04,437 I'm in love, too. With who? 117 00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:07,057 Mao Zedong. 118 00:06:07,127 --> 00:06:09,537 Chairman Mao? Was he hot? 119 00:06:09,607 --> 00:06:10,917 Shu Shu thought so. 120 00:06:10,987 --> 00:06:12,777 Chairman Mao's so smart. 121 00:06:12,847 --> 00:06:14,807 He's got this awesome place out in the countryside 122 00:06:14,847 --> 00:06:16,747 called the village. Hmm. 123 00:06:16,807 --> 00:06:18,677 We're all going to be, like... 124 00:06:18,747 --> 00:06:23,297 joining the working class, working the fields. 125 00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:25,677 It'll be rustic AF, bitch. 126 00:06:25,747 --> 00:06:28,807 I don't know, I don't really like fields. 127 00:06:28,877 --> 00:06:31,777 You know, and the rows of plants really freak me out. 128 00:06:31,847 --> 00:06:35,397 Besides, the love of my life is here. 129 00:06:35,467 --> 00:06:38,367 Fine. Suit yourself. 130 00:06:38,437 --> 00:06:40,567 More rural "D" for me. 131 00:06:43,297 --> 00:06:46,747 Things would only get more complicated from there. 132 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:50,397 My neighbors, the Chens, were caught with valuables. 133 00:06:50,467 --> 00:06:53,127 So the Red Guard, Mao's law enforcers 134 00:06:53,187 --> 00:06:56,677 made them leave the city to work in the countryside 135 00:06:56,747 --> 00:06:59,917 which meant we had to throw away all our valuables. 136 00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:02,257 - Everything? - Everything! 137 00:07:02,327 --> 00:07:06,087 Even the expensive China that was in our family for generations. 138 00:07:06,157 --> 00:07:09,327 My parents didn't want to show any signs of our wealth. 139 00:07:09,397 --> 00:07:12,847 Otherwise, we'd be forced to go to the deep countryside. 140 00:07:12,917 --> 00:07:14,847 Work on a farm. 141 00:07:14,917 --> 00:07:17,273 Like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie did on "The Simple Life?" 142 00:07:17,297 --> 00:07:19,187 Yeah! Just like that! 143 00:07:19,257 --> 00:07:22,567 I didn't want to do it, but we had to. 144 00:07:22,637 --> 00:07:26,537 I just figured with more trash, comes more garbage. 145 00:07:26,607 --> 00:07:30,987 And with more garbage comes Garbage Boy. 146 00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:33,922 But still, we couldn't avoid the Red Guard. 147 00:07:33,947 --> 00:07:35,467 Is that a valuable wrist watch? 148 00:07:36,987 --> 00:07:39,677 No, no it's not. Destroy it at once! 149 00:07:39,747 --> 00:07:42,537 You can't. Please, this is the one... 150 00:07:42,607 --> 00:07:44,163 This is the one Garbage Boy complimented... 151 00:07:57,367 --> 00:07:59,847 And that wasn't the worst part. 152 00:07:59,917 --> 00:08:02,917 My refusal to immediately give up the watch 153 00:08:02,987 --> 00:08:05,227 was considered an act of defiance. 154 00:08:05,304 --> 00:08:07,404 We were now targets of Chairman Mao. 155 00:08:07,467 --> 00:08:09,437 We needed to flee. 156 00:08:11,297 --> 00:08:14,567 No, I can't! 157 00:08:14,637 --> 00:08:16,087 Garbage Boy. 158 00:08:16,157 --> 00:08:17,783 My parents paid a local smuggler 159 00:08:17,807 --> 00:08:19,707 for safe passage to Hong Kong. 160 00:08:19,777 --> 00:08:22,467 And from there, we travelled to America. 161 00:08:22,537 --> 00:08:24,567 And we had to leave right away. 162 00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:27,424 But I couldn't go without telling Garbage Boy. 163 00:08:30,087 --> 00:08:31,917 Wait! Wait-wait-wait! 164 00:08:31,987 --> 00:08:33,607 So you left and you never talked to him?! 165 00:08:33,677 --> 00:08:34,987 Did you get his number? 166 00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:37,127 Shh! Just listen. 167 00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:52,367 What happens next? 168 00:08:52,437 --> 00:08:53,642 Well... 169 00:08:54,059 --> 00:08:57,339 I met a new man... 170 00:08:58,299 --> 00:08:59,889 ...in America. 171 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,441 What?! 172 00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:04,144 I finally made it to New York City. 173 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:07,939 I forged a nursing degree and soon had a job 174 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,994 at Flushing West Hospital where I made friends 175 00:09:11,064 --> 00:09:12,802 with other renowned immigrants. 176 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,322 Another one bites the dust. 177 00:09:14,392 --> 00:09:15,392 What? 178 00:09:15,452 --> 00:09:17,452 Another eligible bachelor, married. 179 00:09:17,522 --> 00:09:19,422 Reading the wedding announcements again? 180 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,212 Of course! A girl's got to find 181 00:09:21,282 --> 00:09:22,942 a man and a green card somehow. 182 00:09:23,012 --> 00:09:25,112 I was a diplomat in Haiti. 183 00:09:25,182 --> 00:09:26,942 I can't even get a second date here. 184 00:09:27,012 --> 00:09:28,252 America is crazy. 185 00:09:28,322 --> 00:09:30,942 He's a mailman. Spending that much money? 186 00:09:32,942 --> 00:09:34,452 In Puerto Rico, he's what we call 187 00:09:34,522 --> 00:09:36,942 a squash that is showing off. 188 00:09:37,012 --> 00:09:39,972 Probably because he has a very small squash, hey? 189 00:09:44,422 --> 00:09:45,568 How about you, Young Grandma? 190 00:09:45,592 --> 00:09:47,632 Is there anyone you've been eyeing? 191 00:09:47,702 --> 00:09:49,592 No, not really. 192 00:09:49,662 --> 00:09:51,452 And then I saw him. 193 00:09:51,522 --> 00:09:53,522 ♪ Let's do this for real ♪ 194 00:09:56,112 --> 00:10:00,492 ♪ I know you wanna feel, baby ♪ 195 00:10:00,562 --> 00:10:02,872 ♪ Wanna take you off the grill ♪ 196 00:10:02,942 --> 00:10:05,352 ♪ Take for the chill ♪ 197 00:10:05,422 --> 00:10:07,902 ♪ Do this thing for real ♪ 198 00:10:07,972 --> 00:10:10,452 Doc Hottie. 199 00:10:12,872 --> 00:10:15,282 It's very unsanitary. Yeah. 200 00:10:15,352 --> 00:10:17,762 But Grandma liked it. 201 00:10:17,832 --> 00:10:19,252 Over the next few weeks, 202 00:10:19,322 --> 00:10:22,802 Doc Hottie and I were inseparable. 203 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,522 He had everything I could have wanted. 204 00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:28,422 Money, cars, charm. 205 00:10:28,492 --> 00:10:31,802 It was the American Dream. 206 00:10:31,872 --> 00:10:34,522 Grandma, what kind of... what kind of effects are these? 207 00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:37,352 It's a K Drama. We don't have the budget. 208 00:10:37,422 --> 00:10:38,972 Who... who is we? 209 00:10:39,042 --> 00:10:42,762 Everything was going splendidly... until... 210 00:10:46,322 --> 00:10:49,252 Babe, aren't you gonna pick up your trash? 211 00:10:49,322 --> 00:10:50,468 Oh, don't worry about it, babe. 212 00:10:50,492 --> 00:10:52,318 Someone will pick it up, come on. 213 00:10:54,872 --> 00:10:58,452 Babe... babe. 214 00:10:58,522 --> 00:11:01,870 Babe? Babe? 215 00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,305 Look at me. Ice cream's melting. Come on, babe. 216 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,020 Look out. 217 00:11:06,090 --> 00:11:09,160 Oh, God, no! 218 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:17,430 A piano fell on his head? That didn't happen. 219 00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,570 It's real. Did Doc Hottie die? 220 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,640 No, but something even worse happened. 221 00:11:22,710 --> 00:11:26,190 What? He survived. 222 00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:31,950 Sweetie. 223 00:11:32,020 --> 00:11:34,610 Please don't be ugly. Please don't be ugly. 224 00:11:39,370 --> 00:11:41,470 Oh, thank God. 225 00:11:41,540 --> 00:11:43,430 Who are you? 226 00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:45,230 It's me. 227 00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,540 Your girlfriend, Young Grandma. 228 00:11:47,610 --> 00:11:51,190 I don't... I don't know why you are. 229 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,430 Doc Hottie had amnesia. 230 00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:59,090 Oh, my God! 231 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,990 But all your piggyback rides? Viewing the State of Liberty? 232 00:12:03,060 --> 00:12:05,810 I know. It was horrible. 233 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,810 I just wanted to get home and cry forever. 234 00:12:11,090 --> 00:12:13,430 58th and Main, please. 235 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,526 Right the way, ma'am. 236 00:12:16,810 --> 00:12:18,330 Garbage Boy?! 237 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,506 What? He's in America now? 238 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:22,090 But I thought your note flew away? 239 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:25,020 Oh, it did. But it must've been fate. 240 00:12:25,090 --> 00:12:26,710 Or because the local smuggler 241 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,160 always brought people into Queens first. 242 00:12:29,230 --> 00:12:31,710 Garbage Boy and I started talking 243 00:12:31,780 --> 00:12:34,060 like no time had passed. 244 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,850 It was magical. 245 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,950 We ended up spending the whole night together. 246 00:12:39,020 --> 00:12:40,260 Doing what? 247 00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:42,370 - Just holding hands. - No! 248 00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:44,330 We threaded our fingers, 249 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,710 then moonwalked across each other's palms. 250 00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:50,540 We scissored so slowly. 251 00:12:50,610 --> 00:12:53,810 I did the "farting rocket into the hole." 252 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,610 We slapped each other's hands till they were raw. 253 00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:59,920 Up and down and up and down. 254 00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:03,090 Oh, Lord, Lord, he blew my mind! 255 00:13:05,020 --> 00:13:07,880 Grandma! You don't have to... 256 00:13:07,950 --> 00:13:10,780 I don't need to see... Grandma, stop! 257 00:13:10,850 --> 00:13:13,020 It was a wonderful night. 258 00:13:13,090 --> 00:13:15,400 I couldn't wait to tell my friends. 259 00:13:15,470 --> 00:13:17,780 Oh, that is so romantic. 260 00:13:17,850 --> 00:13:21,114 I'm so happy for you. What was his name again? 261 00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,300 Garbage Boy. 262 00:13:22,370 --> 00:13:24,330 Wait. Garbage Boy. 263 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,973 I have heard that name. 264 00:13:27,780 --> 00:13:31,260 Oh! He is getting... married! 265 00:13:31,330 --> 00:13:33,229 Oh, hell no! 266 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:35,562 What'd you do with that man slut Garbage Boy? 267 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,510 I mean, how did you get past that 268 00:13:37,580 --> 00:13:41,030 It was a dark time in my life. 269 00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:44,340 My only happiness was in this new hip flavor, 270 00:13:44,410 --> 00:13:46,768 Diet Neapolitan. 271 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,270 I couldn't stop thinking about Garbage Boy. 272 00:13:50,340 --> 00:13:53,410 Everywhere I looked, there he was. 273 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,030 And he called every day. 274 00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:58,380 You didn't answer it, though, right, Grandma? 275 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,510 'Cause... 'cause fuck that dude, right? 276 00:14:00,580 --> 00:14:02,550 Exactly. Fuck that dude. 277 00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:06,200 But I'll admit, he was persistent. 278 00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:08,240 I said I didn't... 279 00:14:08,310 --> 00:14:11,960 Young Grandma. Doc Hottie. 280 00:14:12,030 --> 00:14:15,380 My memory's back. I'm cured of my amnesia. 281 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:18,890 I remember our love. I remember everything. 282 00:14:21,890 --> 00:14:23,410 Let's get married. 283 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:29,480 What? How many goddamn plot twists you got in this story, Grandma? 284 00:14:34,030 --> 00:14:35,860 You've been through a lot. 285 00:14:35,930 --> 00:14:37,860 Weeping because of my amnesia. 286 00:14:37,930 --> 00:14:40,380 You don't have to give me an answer now. 287 00:14:42,690 --> 00:14:44,720 I'm going to the hospital. 288 00:14:44,790 --> 00:14:46,960 They're letting me do surgery again. 289 00:14:47,030 --> 00:14:50,665 This new procedure called... kidney transplant. 290 00:14:51,510 --> 00:14:53,240 Oh. 291 00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,690 Find me when you're ready. 292 00:14:56,790 --> 00:15:00,170 Wow. So... so you said yes, right? 293 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,340 I didn't know what to do. 294 00:15:02,410 --> 00:15:04,510 Doc Hottie wanted to marry me, 295 00:15:04,580 --> 00:15:08,000 but I couldn't stop thinking about Garbage Boy. 296 00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:10,440 And Camren and Lehana were no help. 297 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,790 Garbage Boy's the love of your life. 298 00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:14,410 You can stop his wedding. 299 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,030 Ah, but Doc Hottie will hook you up. 300 00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:18,310 He's rich. Your parents adore him. 301 00:15:18,380 --> 00:15:19,930 It's a no brainer. Marry him. 302 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,650 I was lost. 303 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,130 Until guess who walked through the door. 304 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,860 What up? What?! 305 00:15:25,930 --> 00:15:28,270 It me, Shu Shu. 306 00:15:28,340 --> 00:15:30,960 In America! 307 00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:33,030 Doop doop boop boop! 308 00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:34,410 Boop! 309 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,100 How did Shu Shu get there? 310 00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:38,030 It was a crazy story. 311 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:49,650 So, I stayed in China and ended up in the countryside. 312 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:52,410 But I quickly learned that I did not belong there. 313 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:56,200 The work was hard. I did not like manual labor. 314 00:15:56,270 --> 00:15:59,200 And there were so many bugs. 315 00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:04,510 One, I got caught in a mudslide and was washed away. 316 00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:07,130 Even though I still loved Chairman Mao, 317 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,340 I decided that I needed to get out of China. 318 00:16:10,410 --> 00:16:12,790 So I swam to Hong Kong. 319 00:16:12,860 --> 00:16:15,620 Almost getting eating by sharks along the way. 320 00:16:15,690 --> 00:16:17,270 Nooo! 321 00:16:17,340 --> 00:16:19,729 And then I made it to New York. 322 00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:23,960 So, that's my update. What about you? 323 00:16:24,030 --> 00:16:27,550 I told Shu Shu everything about Doc Hottie and Garbage Boy, 324 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:31,690 except I didn't have puppets, so my story was way more boring. 325 00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:33,130 So what do I do? 326 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,310 We did not come to this country to settle. 327 00:16:35,380 --> 00:16:37,100 I got washed in a mudslide 328 00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,930 and fought 75 sharks to get here. 329 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,170 You are too hot and too smart 330 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,200 to be anything less than the Plan "A" bitch you are. 331 00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:47,650 Yeah. So what do you want? 332 00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:53,137 Love. Then go... 333 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,248 ...get... 334 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:57,510 ...it. 335 00:16:57,580 --> 00:16:58,890 You're right. 336 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,820 I'm gonna get what I want. 337 00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,690 Wait, so who are you gonna choose? 338 00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:07,510 Doctor Dick or Garbage Dick? 339 00:17:07,580 --> 00:17:11,340 Either way, get that nasty shit, girl! 340 00:17:11,410 --> 00:17:13,510 Doc Hottie. 341 00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:15,820 You came. I knew you would. 342 00:17:15,890 --> 00:17:18,070 Actually, I came be to give you this. 343 00:17:18,130 --> 00:17:19,480 Uh... 344 00:17:19,550 --> 00:17:21,165 Uh... 345 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:25,380 Why? I think you're wonderful. 346 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,480 And a doctor and for all the reasons why I should love you. 347 00:17:28,550 --> 00:17:30,380 I'm just in love with someone else. 348 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,927 But... Sorry. 349 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:34,890 No. I'm so sorry. 350 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,790 Young Grandma... Young Grandma! 351 00:17:44,550 --> 00:17:46,315 Stop the wedding. 352 00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,252 Young Grandma. 353 00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:53,226 Ohh! 354 00:17:53,296 --> 00:17:54,916 It's not what it looks like. 355 00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:57,466 Oh, thank God. She's my sister. 356 00:17:57,536 --> 00:17:59,620 What?! That's fuckin' gross. 357 00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,380 It's not what it is sounds like. 358 00:18:01,450 --> 00:18:03,146 My sister was sponsored to come to the States 359 00:18:03,170 --> 00:18:05,450 by the Lao family here. 360 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,170 They were only allowed to sponsor their own family, though, 361 00:18:08,195 --> 00:18:09,855 so she lived here as their daughter. 362 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,160 She even took on their last name. 363 00:18:11,230 --> 00:18:13,190 Then in order for me to come over, 364 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,600 we were to be married. 365 00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:16,600 The marriage is just for citizenship, though. 366 00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:18,500 We're divorced immediately 367 00:18:18,570 --> 00:18:20,136 and then we'll be free to live our lives. 368 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,430 Wow, that sounds like a really weird loophole. 369 00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:25,290 I know, but it's true. It's why I've been calling. 370 00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:28,249 Ever since that night, I've been trying to explain. 371 00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:29,525 Mmm-mm-mm, no! 372 00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:32,086 What could he possibly say to make this okay? 373 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,471 Hold on. 374 00:18:34,841 --> 00:18:37,183 I've been meaning to give this back to you. 375 00:18:37,521 --> 00:18:40,421 Ohh! It's my watch. 376 00:18:40,491 --> 00:18:42,561 But it was completely trashed. 377 00:18:42,631 --> 00:18:44,391 Not all trash is garbage. 378 00:18:44,461 --> 00:18:46,391 Oh, hell yeah, Garbage Boy! 379 00:18:46,896 --> 00:18:48,686 After the Red Guard threw it away, 380 00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:50,161 I spent years fixing it. 381 00:18:50,231 --> 00:18:52,911 I knew that... I had to get it back to you. 382 00:18:52,981 --> 00:18:54,161 Where it belonged. 383 00:18:54,231 --> 00:18:57,671 A beautiful watch for a beautiful girl. 384 00:18:59,291 --> 00:19:01,191 Go marry your sister. 385 00:19:04,191 --> 00:19:07,229 I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Lin. 386 00:19:17,541 --> 00:19:19,825 Garbage Boy was Grandpa? 387 00:19:21,269 --> 00:19:23,679 This was taken on my wedding day. 388 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:24,830 Oh, wow. 389 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,682 You know, I thought my life was hard. 390 00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:29,637 Well, life can be hard, but it's much easier 391 00:19:29,707 --> 00:19:31,877 when you have something you love. 392 00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:33,839 Yeah. 393 00:19:34,127 --> 00:19:37,057 All right, time for bed. 394 00:19:37,127 --> 00:19:38,703 And here. 395 00:19:39,437 --> 00:19:41,187 For being such a good listener, 396 00:19:41,257 --> 00:19:42,947 you can have your phone back. 397 00:19:43,017 --> 00:19:45,257 I... I'm feeling I don't even need my phone. 398 00:19:45,327 --> 00:19:49,187 You know, that was a riveting tale. 399 00:19:53,227 --> 00:19:54,677 I love you, Grandma. 400 00:19:54,747 --> 00:19:58,187 Good night, bao bao. I love you too. 401 00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:04,595 ♪ What up, y'all? It me, Shu Shu ♪ 402 00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,890 ♪ Here's a little bit of old school for ya ♪ 403 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,890 ♪ It goes a little something like this ♪ 404 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,976 ♪ I always try to be the flyest chick on the block ♪ 405 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,960 ♪ The best communist with the cattle stock ♪ 406 00:20:13,030 --> 00:20:15,240 ♪ So that's when I had this bright idea ♪ 407 00:20:15,310 --> 00:20:17,346 ♪ Hit the farm for a month, no, the farm for a year ♪ 408 00:20:17,370 --> 00:20:19,440 ♪ The farm is lit 'cause the party's here ♪ 409 00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,340 ♪ Making it rain like Chinese New Year ♪ 410 00:20:21,410 --> 00:20:23,480 ♪ Walking around like "Who's that woman?" ♪ 411 00:20:23,550 --> 00:20:25,410 ♪ Everybody do it like Shu Shu can ♪ 412 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,370 ♪ First on the farm. You know that's me ♪ 413 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,410 ♪ But then a mudslide like a freaking movie ♪ 414 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:31,440 ♪ Wait, there are bugs now biting my head ♪ 415 00:20:31,510 --> 00:20:33,486 ♪ Then I knew this ain't cool, so this is what I said ♪ 416 00:20:33,510 --> 00:20:35,720 ♪ People, this is hella work ♪ 417 00:20:35,790 --> 00:20:37,480 ♪ Anyone got a plow? ♪ 418 00:20:37,550 --> 00:20:39,410 ♪ Shit, I really gotta leave ♪ 419 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,820 ♪ What, huh, say it again ♪ 420 00:20:41,890 --> 00:20:43,960 ♪ Na na na na hey ♪ 421 00:20:44,030 --> 00:20:46,130 ♪ Na na na na oh ♪ 422 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:50,000 ♪ Come on, here I go, ha ha, I'm over this ♪ 423 00:20:50,060 --> 00:20:52,170 ♪ Na na na na ♪ 424 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,170 ♪ Na na na na ♪ 425 00:20:56,370 --> 00:20:58,130 ♪ Na ♪♪ 426 00:21:26,750 --> 00:21:28,680 Who the is Awkwafina? 30329