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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,810
Don't lie to me!
Why were you looking at her?
2
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:03,555
You know I care about you.
3
00:00:05,652 --> 00:00:07,232
You all right, bao bao?
4
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,567
Yes, I'm recovering.
I don't need any Chinese medicine.
5
00:00:09,637 --> 00:00:11,157
I make you some soup!
6
00:00:11,227 --> 00:00:12,537
Oh, cool.
7
00:00:12,607 --> 00:00:16,187
Yeah, with Chinese
yams and ramen.
8
00:00:16,257 --> 00:00:18,497
It's good for you.
9
00:00:18,567 --> 00:00:20,397
And it's good for your skin.
10
00:00:20,467 --> 00:00:22,133
Uh, you know what?
I'm doing good for right now.
11
00:00:22,157 --> 00:00:25,297
'Cause I have Amer... I have
American stuff, thanks.
12
00:00:25,367 --> 00:00:27,847
What are you watching? "Love Island."
13
00:00:27,917 --> 00:00:30,917
It's episode 48 of 52,
season three.
14
00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:33,397
Oh my God... what?
15
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:35,157
Those people are gutter trash.
16
00:00:35,227 --> 00:00:38,467
Hey! Hey!
Wha... wha... Grandma!
17
00:00:38,537 --> 00:00:39,947
You're never gonna get better
18
00:00:40,017 --> 00:00:42,057
by being on the phone
all the time.
19
00:00:42,127 --> 00:00:43,607
My life is
really hard right now.
20
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:44,957
Can you give me my phone please?
21
00:00:45,017 --> 00:00:47,297
You wanna hear
about a hard life?
22
00:00:47,367 --> 00:00:49,397
Let me tell you a story.
23
00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:52,297
From, like, orally?
Like an oral story?
24
00:00:52,367 --> 00:00:54,677
It's the true story
25
00:00:54,747 --> 00:00:57,537
about how your Grandma
26
00:00:57,607 --> 00:00:59,847
met your Grandpa.
27
00:00:59,917 --> 00:01:02,747
Um, do I... I'm good
for now, or...
28
00:01:02,807 --> 00:01:04,437
Let's do this!
29
00:01:18,127 --> 00:01:19,747
Oh, oh, no.
30
00:01:19,807 --> 00:01:22,087
Is this gonna be like
one of those Korean dramas?
31
00:01:22,157 --> 00:01:24,707
You know it.
32
00:01:24,777 --> 00:01:27,087
What?!
That... that's my title card?
33
00:01:27,157 --> 00:01:29,537
Why do you gotta put
my title card like that?
34
00:01:29,607 --> 00:01:31,297
Ah! They didn't
put my real name!
35
00:01:39,987 --> 00:01:43,127
Wait, wait-wait-wait.
That's supposed to be you?
36
00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:45,607
Grandma, you were hot
and five-foot-ten?
37
00:01:45,677 --> 00:01:47,497
Yeah, and I'm still hot.
38
00:01:47,567 --> 00:01:50,017
Anyways, the story begins
39
00:01:50,087 --> 00:01:53,467
back on my family's estate
in rural China.
40
00:01:53,537 --> 00:01:57,467
It was 1965.
My family was wealthy.
41
00:01:57,537 --> 00:01:59,157
So I spent my days doing
42
00:01:59,227 --> 00:02:02,747
what all rich girls
like to do in 1965.
43
00:02:02,807 --> 00:02:04,637
Sit under a parasol
44
00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:07,747
and stare at things
for a long time.
45
00:02:07,807 --> 00:02:10,437
It was nice to be rich.
46
00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:13,227
Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Chen.
47
00:02:13,297 --> 00:02:14,637
You spoke English?
48
00:02:14,707 --> 00:02:16,187
I spoke Chinese,
49
00:02:16,257 --> 00:02:19,437
but I'm translating
to make it easier for you.
50
00:02:19,497 --> 00:02:21,157
O... okay.
51
00:02:21,227 --> 00:02:24,227
Life was good, until one day
52
00:02:24,297 --> 00:02:26,017
our garbage man...
53
00:02:28,677 --> 00:02:29,607
...dropped dead.
54
00:02:29,677 --> 00:02:30,917
Oh, shit!
55
00:02:30,987 --> 00:02:32,397
Oh, it's okay.
56
00:02:32,467 --> 00:02:35,017
Because he was immediately
replaced by...
57
00:02:36,947 --> 00:02:40,467
♪ Ooh... ♪
58
00:02:41,707 --> 00:02:42,753
Garbage Boy.
59
00:02:42,777 --> 00:02:46,777
♪ Oh yeah ♪
60
00:02:46,847 --> 00:02:50,777
♪ I'm cryin' out to you ♪
61
00:02:50,847 --> 00:02:52,607
♪ Baby ♪
62
00:02:52,677 --> 00:02:55,327
Oh, my God, that is literally
so fucking gross right now.
63
00:02:55,397 --> 00:02:59,227
No! Garbage Boy was so hot.
64
00:02:59,297 --> 00:03:02,497
All I wanted was to get
his attention.
65
00:03:02,567 --> 00:03:05,707
♪ Now, pretty baby, ooh ♪
66
00:03:05,777 --> 00:03:07,497
♪ Tell me ♪
67
00:03:07,567 --> 00:03:11,807
♪ Do you like what you see?
'Cause you know... ♪
68
00:03:11,877 --> 00:03:14,057
You done with that milk?
69
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,057
I am now.
70
00:03:16,127 --> 00:03:18,087
There's still a bit left.
71
00:03:18,157 --> 00:03:22,707
♪ Something's
coming over me ♪
72
00:03:22,777 --> 00:03:26,227
♪ Is it love? ♪
73
00:03:26,297 --> 00:03:28,747
Beautiful watch...
74
00:03:28,807 --> 00:03:31,017
...for a beautiful girl. This old thing?
75
00:03:31,087 --> 00:03:33,607
It's a family heirloom,
I just...
76
00:03:33,677 --> 00:03:37,227
And just like
that, he took my breath away.
77
00:03:37,297 --> 00:03:41,467
I knew right then that I
needed to be with that boy.
78
00:03:41,537 --> 00:03:43,497
The kid that
chugs your old milk?
79
00:03:43,567 --> 00:03:45,877
Oh, you sound like my mother.
80
00:03:45,947 --> 00:03:50,297
She completely disapproved
of me dating Garbage Boy.
81
00:03:55,637 --> 00:03:57,467
I don't wanna be
with a rich boy.
82
00:03:57,537 --> 00:03:59,397
Garbage Boy is not trash!
83
00:04:02,437 --> 00:04:04,327
Milk doesn't even expire.
84
00:04:06,327 --> 00:04:10,707
But my mother's disapproval
only made me want him more.
85
00:04:12,227 --> 00:04:15,157
Garbage Boy and I exchanged
notes in secret.
86
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:22,877
One day, I was able to sneak
away for just long enough.
87
00:04:33,437 --> 00:04:35,103
That's a whole lotta lip
there, Grandma.
88
00:04:35,127 --> 00:04:37,677
Yes, we didn't use tongue
89
00:04:37,747 --> 00:04:40,747
because it wasn't of the era.
90
00:04:40,807 --> 00:04:43,397
So then y'all smashed,
Had a couple babies.
91
00:04:43,467 --> 00:04:46,397
Here I am now, um...
I gotta check my Weibo.
92
00:04:46,467 --> 00:04:48,777
Hey! This story's not over!
93
00:04:48,847 --> 00:04:52,397
Things were going really well.
94
00:04:52,467 --> 00:04:55,397
Until 1966.
95
00:04:55,467 --> 00:04:58,297
It was the start
of the Cultural Revolution.
96
00:04:58,367 --> 00:05:01,497
A time when rich people
and intellectuals were forced
97
00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:05,327
by the government to destroy
any sign of wealth and status.
98
00:05:05,397 --> 00:05:09,227
Even though my family was
wealthy and therefore targets,
99
00:05:09,297 --> 00:05:11,947
I still had other
things on my mind.
100
00:05:23,567 --> 00:05:25,057
What up, girl?
101
00:05:25,127 --> 00:05:26,497
It me, Shu Shu.
102
00:05:26,567 --> 00:05:29,607
Shu Shu.
103
00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,497
You mean, Shu Shu, Shu Shu?
104
00:05:31,567 --> 00:05:33,607
The one who couldn't
go to Atlantic City?
105
00:05:33,677 --> 00:05:35,987
Yeah, my best friend from China.
106
00:05:36,057 --> 00:05:38,777
We told
each other everything.
107
00:05:38,847 --> 00:05:40,877
Hello, Best Friend Shu Shu.
108
00:05:40,947 --> 00:05:42,847
Sorry for the wide smile.
109
00:05:42,917 --> 00:05:45,327
I'm just... so in love.
110
00:05:45,397 --> 00:05:47,777
Oh, really?
With who?
111
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:50,777
The boy who takes
out our garbage.
112
00:05:50,847 --> 00:05:52,847
Garbage Boy.
Oh, Garbage Boy.
113
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:54,917
He is fine.
Saw him rip apart
114
00:05:54,987 --> 00:05:57,847
a cardboard box once.
No scissors, shit was sick.
115
00:05:59,157 --> 00:06:01,877
Anyway, enough about me.
How are you, Shu Shu?
116
00:06:01,947 --> 00:06:04,437
I'm in love, too. With who?
117
00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:07,057
Mao Zedong.
118
00:06:07,127 --> 00:06:09,537
Chairman Mao?
Was he hot?
119
00:06:09,607 --> 00:06:10,917
Shu Shu thought so.
120
00:06:10,987 --> 00:06:12,777
Chairman Mao's so smart.
121
00:06:12,847 --> 00:06:14,807
He's got this awesome
place out in the countryside
122
00:06:14,847 --> 00:06:16,747
called the village.
Hmm.
123
00:06:16,807 --> 00:06:18,677
We're all going to be, like...
124
00:06:18,747 --> 00:06:23,297
joining the working class,
working the fields.
125
00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:25,677
It'll be rustic AF, bitch.
126
00:06:25,747 --> 00:06:28,807
I don't know,
I don't really like fields.
127
00:06:28,877 --> 00:06:31,777
You know, and the rows of
plants really freak me out.
128
00:06:31,847 --> 00:06:35,397
Besides, the love
of my life is here.
129
00:06:35,467 --> 00:06:38,367
Fine. Suit yourself.
130
00:06:38,437 --> 00:06:40,567
More rural "D" for me.
131
00:06:43,297 --> 00:06:46,747
Things would only get
more complicated from there.
132
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:50,397
My neighbors, the Chens,
were caught with valuables.
133
00:06:50,467 --> 00:06:53,127
So the Red Guard,
Mao's law enforcers
134
00:06:53,187 --> 00:06:56,677
made them leave the city
to work in the countryside
135
00:06:56,747 --> 00:06:59,917
which meant we had to throw away
all our valuables.
136
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:02,257
- Everything?
- Everything!
137
00:07:02,327 --> 00:07:06,087
Even the expensive China that was
in our family for generations.
138
00:07:06,157 --> 00:07:09,327
My parents didn't want to show
any signs of our wealth.
139
00:07:09,397 --> 00:07:12,847
Otherwise, we'd be forced
to go to the deep countryside.
140
00:07:12,917 --> 00:07:14,847
Work on a farm.
141
00:07:14,917 --> 00:07:17,273
Like Paris Hilton and Nicole
Richie did on "The Simple Life?"
142
00:07:17,297 --> 00:07:19,187
Yeah! Just like that!
143
00:07:19,257 --> 00:07:22,567
I didn't want to do it,
but we had to.
144
00:07:22,637 --> 00:07:26,537
I just figured with more trash,
comes more garbage.
145
00:07:26,607 --> 00:07:30,987
And with more garbage
comes Garbage Boy.
146
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:33,922
But still, we couldn't
avoid the Red Guard.
147
00:07:33,947 --> 00:07:35,467
Is that a valuable wrist watch?
148
00:07:36,987 --> 00:07:39,677
No, no it's not. Destroy it at once!
149
00:07:39,747 --> 00:07:42,537
You can't.
Please, this is the one...
150
00:07:42,607 --> 00:07:44,163
This is the one
Garbage Boy complimented...
151
00:07:57,367 --> 00:07:59,847
And that wasn't the worst part.
152
00:07:59,917 --> 00:08:02,917
My refusal to immediately
give up the watch
153
00:08:02,987 --> 00:08:05,227
was considered
an act of defiance.
154
00:08:05,304 --> 00:08:07,404
We were now targets
of Chairman Mao.
155
00:08:07,467 --> 00:08:09,437
We needed to flee.
156
00:08:11,297 --> 00:08:14,567
No, I can't!
157
00:08:14,637 --> 00:08:16,087
Garbage Boy.
158
00:08:16,157 --> 00:08:17,783
My parents
paid a local smuggler
159
00:08:17,807 --> 00:08:19,707
for safe passage to Hong Kong.
160
00:08:19,777 --> 00:08:22,467
And from there,
we travelled to America.
161
00:08:22,537 --> 00:08:24,567
And we had to leave right away.
162
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:27,424
But I couldn't go without
telling Garbage Boy.
163
00:08:30,087 --> 00:08:31,917
Wait! Wait-wait-wait!
164
00:08:31,987 --> 00:08:33,607
So you left and you
never talked to him?!
165
00:08:33,677 --> 00:08:34,987
Did you get his number?
166
00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:37,127
Shh! Just listen.
167
00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:52,367
What happens next?
168
00:08:52,437 --> 00:08:53,642
Well...
169
00:08:54,059 --> 00:08:57,339
I met a new man...
170
00:08:58,299 --> 00:08:59,889
...in America.
171
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,441
What?!
172
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:04,144
I finally made
it to New York City.
173
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:07,939
I forged a nursing degree
and soon had a job
174
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,994
at Flushing West Hospital
where I made friends
175
00:09:11,064 --> 00:09:12,802
with other renowned immigrants.
176
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,322
Another one
bites the dust.
177
00:09:14,392 --> 00:09:15,392
What?
178
00:09:15,452 --> 00:09:17,452
Another eligible
bachelor, married.
179
00:09:17,522 --> 00:09:19,422
Reading the wedding
announcements again?
180
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,212
Of course!
A girl's got to find
181
00:09:21,282 --> 00:09:22,942
a man and a green card somehow.
182
00:09:23,012 --> 00:09:25,112
I was a diplomat in Haiti.
183
00:09:25,182 --> 00:09:26,942
I can't even get
a second date here.
184
00:09:27,012 --> 00:09:28,252
America is crazy.
185
00:09:28,322 --> 00:09:30,942
He's a mailman.
Spending that much money?
186
00:09:32,942 --> 00:09:34,452
In Puerto Rico,
he's what we call
187
00:09:34,522 --> 00:09:36,942
a squash that is showing off.
188
00:09:37,012 --> 00:09:39,972
Probably because he has
a very small squash, hey?
189
00:09:44,422 --> 00:09:45,568
How about you, Young Grandma?
190
00:09:45,592 --> 00:09:47,632
Is there anyone
you've been eyeing?
191
00:09:47,702 --> 00:09:49,592
No, not really.
192
00:09:49,662 --> 00:09:51,452
And then I saw him.
193
00:09:51,522 --> 00:09:53,522
♪ Let's do this for real ♪
194
00:09:56,112 --> 00:10:00,492
♪ I know you wanna
feel, baby ♪
195
00:10:00,562 --> 00:10:02,872
♪ Wanna take you
off the grill ♪
196
00:10:02,942 --> 00:10:05,352
♪ Take for the chill ♪
197
00:10:05,422 --> 00:10:07,902
♪ Do this thing for real ♪
198
00:10:07,972 --> 00:10:10,452
Doc Hottie.
199
00:10:12,872 --> 00:10:15,282
It's very unsanitary.
Yeah.
200
00:10:15,352 --> 00:10:17,762
But Grandma liked it.
201
00:10:17,832 --> 00:10:19,252
Over the next few weeks,
202
00:10:19,322 --> 00:10:22,802
Doc Hottie and I were
inseparable.
203
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,522
He had everything
I could have wanted.
204
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:28,422
Money, cars, charm.
205
00:10:28,492 --> 00:10:31,802
It was the American Dream.
206
00:10:31,872 --> 00:10:34,522
Grandma, what kind of...
what kind of effects are these?
207
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:37,352
It's a K Drama.
We don't have the budget.
208
00:10:37,422 --> 00:10:38,972
Who... who is we?
209
00:10:39,042 --> 00:10:42,762
Everything was
going splendidly... until...
210
00:10:46,322 --> 00:10:49,252
Babe, aren't you gonna
pick up your trash?
211
00:10:49,322 --> 00:10:50,468
Oh, don't worry about it, babe.
212
00:10:50,492 --> 00:10:52,318
Someone will pick
it up, come on.
213
00:10:54,872 --> 00:10:58,452
Babe... babe.
214
00:10:58,522 --> 00:11:01,870
Babe? Babe?
215
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,305
Look at me. Ice cream's melting.
Come on, babe.
216
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,020
Look out.
217
00:11:06,090 --> 00:11:09,160
Oh, God, no!
218
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:17,430
A piano fell on his head?
That didn't happen.
219
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,570
It's real. Did Doc Hottie die?
220
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,640
No, but something
even worse happened.
221
00:11:22,710 --> 00:11:26,190
What? He survived.
222
00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:31,950
Sweetie.
223
00:11:32,020 --> 00:11:34,610
Please don't be ugly.
Please don't be ugly.
224
00:11:39,370 --> 00:11:41,470
Oh, thank God.
225
00:11:41,540 --> 00:11:43,430
Who are you?
226
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:45,230
It's me.
227
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,540
Your girlfriend, Young Grandma.
228
00:11:47,610 --> 00:11:51,190
I don't... I don't know
why you are.
229
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,430
Doc Hottie had amnesia.
230
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:59,090
Oh, my God!
231
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,990
But all your piggyback rides?
Viewing the State of Liberty?
232
00:12:03,060 --> 00:12:05,810
I know.
It was horrible.
233
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,810
I just wanted to
get home and cry forever.
234
00:12:11,090 --> 00:12:13,430
58th and Main, please.
235
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,526
Right the way, ma'am.
236
00:12:16,810 --> 00:12:18,330
Garbage Boy?!
237
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,506
What? He's in America now?
238
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:22,090
But I thought your note
flew away?
239
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:25,020
Oh, it did.
But it must've been fate.
240
00:12:25,090 --> 00:12:26,710
Or because the local smuggler
241
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,160
always brought people
into Queens first.
242
00:12:29,230 --> 00:12:31,710
Garbage Boy and I
started talking
243
00:12:31,780 --> 00:12:34,060
like no time had passed.
244
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,850
It was magical.
245
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,950
We ended up spending
the whole night together.
246
00:12:39,020 --> 00:12:40,260
Doing what?
247
00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:42,370
- Just holding hands.
- No!
248
00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:44,330
We threaded our fingers,
249
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,710
then moonwalked across
each other's palms.
250
00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:50,540
We scissored so slowly.
251
00:12:50,610 --> 00:12:53,810
I did the "farting rocket
into the hole."
252
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,610
We slapped each other's hands
till they were raw.
253
00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:59,920
Up and down and up and down.
254
00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:03,090
Oh, Lord, Lord, he blew my mind!
255
00:13:05,020 --> 00:13:07,880
Grandma!
You don't have to...
256
00:13:07,950 --> 00:13:10,780
I don't need to see...
Grandma, stop!
257
00:13:10,850 --> 00:13:13,020
It was a wonderful night.
258
00:13:13,090 --> 00:13:15,400
I couldn't wait
to tell my friends.
259
00:13:15,470 --> 00:13:17,780
Oh, that is so romantic.
260
00:13:17,850 --> 00:13:21,114
I'm so happy for you.
What was his name again?
261
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,300
Garbage Boy.
262
00:13:22,370 --> 00:13:24,330
Wait. Garbage Boy.
263
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,973
I have heard that name.
264
00:13:27,780 --> 00:13:31,260
Oh! He is getting...
married!
265
00:13:31,330 --> 00:13:33,229
Oh, hell no!
266
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:35,562
What'd you do with
that man slut Garbage Boy?
267
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,510
I mean, how did you
get past that
268
00:13:37,580 --> 00:13:41,030
It was a dark time in my life.
269
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:44,340
My only happiness was in
this new hip flavor,
270
00:13:44,410 --> 00:13:46,768
Diet Neapolitan.
271
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,270
I couldn't stop thinking
about Garbage Boy.
272
00:13:50,340 --> 00:13:53,410
Everywhere I looked,
there he was.
273
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,030
And he called every day.
274
00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:58,380
You didn't answer
it, though, right, Grandma?
275
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,510
'Cause... 'cause
fuck that dude, right?
276
00:14:00,580 --> 00:14:02,550
Exactly. Fuck that dude.
277
00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:06,200
But I'll admit,
he was persistent.
278
00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:08,240
I said I didn't...
279
00:14:08,310 --> 00:14:11,960
Young Grandma.
Doc Hottie.
280
00:14:12,030 --> 00:14:15,380
My memory's back.
I'm cured of my amnesia.
281
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:18,890
I remember our love.
I remember everything.
282
00:14:21,890 --> 00:14:23,410
Let's get married.
283
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:29,480
What? How many goddamn plot twists
you got in this story, Grandma?
284
00:14:34,030 --> 00:14:35,860
You've been through a lot.
285
00:14:35,930 --> 00:14:37,860
Weeping because of my amnesia.
286
00:14:37,930 --> 00:14:40,380
You don't have to
give me an answer now.
287
00:14:42,690 --> 00:14:44,720
I'm going to the hospital.
288
00:14:44,790 --> 00:14:46,960
They're letting me
do surgery again.
289
00:14:47,030 --> 00:14:50,665
This new procedure
called... kidney transplant.
290
00:14:51,510 --> 00:14:53,240
Oh.
291
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,690
Find me when you're ready.
292
00:14:56,790 --> 00:15:00,170
Wow.
So... so you said yes, right?
293
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,340
I didn't know what to do.
294
00:15:02,410 --> 00:15:04,510
Doc Hottie wanted to marry me,
295
00:15:04,580 --> 00:15:08,000
but I couldn't stop thinking
about Garbage Boy.
296
00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:10,440
And Camren and Lehana
were no help.
297
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,790
Garbage Boy's
the love of your life.
298
00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:14,410
You can stop his wedding.
299
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,030
Ah, but Doc Hottie
will hook you up.
300
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:18,310
He's rich.
Your parents adore him.
301
00:15:18,380 --> 00:15:19,930
It's a no brainer.
Marry him.
302
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,650
I was lost.
303
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,130
Until guess who
walked through the door.
304
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,860
What up?
What?!
305
00:15:25,930 --> 00:15:28,270
It me, Shu Shu.
306
00:15:28,340 --> 00:15:30,960
In America!
307
00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:33,030
Doop doop boop boop!
308
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:34,410
Boop!
309
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,100
How did Shu Shu get there?
310
00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:38,030
It was a crazy story.
311
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:49,650
So, I stayed in China
and ended up in the countryside.
312
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:52,410
But I quickly learned
that I did not belong there.
313
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:56,200
The work was hard.
I did not like manual labor.
314
00:15:56,270 --> 00:15:59,200
And there were so many bugs.
315
00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:04,510
One, I got caught in a mudslide
and was washed away.
316
00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:07,130
Even though I still loved
Chairman Mao,
317
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,340
I decided that I needed
to get out of China.
318
00:16:10,410 --> 00:16:12,790
So I swam to Hong Kong.
319
00:16:12,860 --> 00:16:15,620
Almost getting eating
by sharks along the way.
320
00:16:15,690 --> 00:16:17,270
Nooo!
321
00:16:17,340 --> 00:16:19,729
And then I made it to New York.
322
00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:23,960
So, that's my update.
What about you?
323
00:16:24,030 --> 00:16:27,550
I told Shu Shu everything
about Doc Hottie and Garbage Boy,
324
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:31,690
except I didn't have puppets,
so my story was way more boring.
325
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:33,130
So what do I do?
326
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,310
We did not come to this
country to settle.
327
00:16:35,380 --> 00:16:37,100
I got washed in a mudslide
328
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,930
and fought 75 sharks
to get here.
329
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,170
You are too hot and too smart
330
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,200
to be anything less than
the Plan "A" bitch you are.
331
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:47,650
Yeah. So what do you want?
332
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:53,137
Love.
Then go...
333
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,248
...get...
334
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:57,510
...it.
335
00:16:57,580 --> 00:16:58,890
You're right.
336
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,820
I'm gonna get what I want.
337
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,690
Wait, so who are
you gonna choose?
338
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:07,510
Doctor Dick or Garbage Dick?
339
00:17:07,580 --> 00:17:11,340
Either way, get that
nasty shit, girl!
340
00:17:11,410 --> 00:17:13,510
Doc Hottie.
341
00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:15,820
You came.
I knew you would.
342
00:17:15,890 --> 00:17:18,070
Actually, I came be
to give you this.
343
00:17:18,130 --> 00:17:19,480
Uh...
344
00:17:19,550 --> 00:17:21,165
Uh...
345
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:25,380
Why? I think you're wonderful.
346
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,480
And a doctor and for all the
reasons why I should love you.
347
00:17:28,550 --> 00:17:30,380
I'm just in love
with someone else.
348
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,927
But... Sorry.
349
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:34,890
No.
I'm so sorry.
350
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,790
Young Grandma...
Young Grandma!
351
00:17:44,550 --> 00:17:46,315
Stop the wedding.
352
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,252
Young Grandma.
353
00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:53,226
Ohh!
354
00:17:53,296 --> 00:17:54,916
It's not what it looks like.
355
00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:57,466
Oh, thank God. She's my sister.
356
00:17:57,536 --> 00:17:59,620
What?! That's fuckin' gross.
357
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,380
It's not what it is sounds like.
358
00:18:01,450 --> 00:18:03,146
My sister was sponsored
to come to the States
359
00:18:03,170 --> 00:18:05,450
by the Lao family here.
360
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,170
They were only allowed to
sponsor their own family, though,
361
00:18:08,195 --> 00:18:09,855
so she lived here
as their daughter.
362
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,160
She even took on
their last name.
363
00:18:11,230 --> 00:18:13,190
Then in order
for me to come over,
364
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,600
we were to be married.
365
00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:16,600
The marriage is just
for citizenship, though.
366
00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:18,500
We're divorced immediately
367
00:18:18,570 --> 00:18:20,136
and then we'll be free
to live our lives.
368
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,430
Wow, that sounds like
a really weird loophole.
369
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:25,290
I know, but it's true.
It's why I've been calling.
370
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:28,249
Ever since that night,
I've been trying to explain.
371
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:29,525
Mmm-mm-mm, no!
372
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:32,086
What could he possibly say
to make this okay?
373
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,471
Hold on.
374
00:18:34,841 --> 00:18:37,183
I've been meaning
to give this back to you.
375
00:18:37,521 --> 00:18:40,421
Ohh! It's my watch.
376
00:18:40,491 --> 00:18:42,561
But it was completely trashed.
377
00:18:42,631 --> 00:18:44,391
Not all trash is garbage.
378
00:18:44,461 --> 00:18:46,391
Oh, hell
yeah, Garbage Boy!
379
00:18:46,896 --> 00:18:48,686
After the Red Guard
threw it away,
380
00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:50,161
I spent years fixing it.
381
00:18:50,231 --> 00:18:52,911
I knew that...
I had to get it back to you.
382
00:18:52,981 --> 00:18:54,161
Where it belonged.
383
00:18:54,231 --> 00:18:57,671
A beautiful watch
for a beautiful girl.
384
00:18:59,291 --> 00:19:01,191
Go marry your sister.
385
00:19:04,191 --> 00:19:07,229
I now pronounce
you Mr. and Mrs. Lin.
386
00:19:17,541 --> 00:19:19,825
Garbage Boy was Grandpa?
387
00:19:21,269 --> 00:19:23,679
This was taken
on my wedding day.
388
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:24,830
Oh, wow.
389
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,682
You know, I thought
my life was hard.
390
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:29,637
Well, life can be hard,
but it's much easier
391
00:19:29,707 --> 00:19:31,877
when you have
something you love.
392
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:33,839
Yeah.
393
00:19:34,127 --> 00:19:37,057
All right, time for bed.
394
00:19:37,127 --> 00:19:38,703
And here.
395
00:19:39,437 --> 00:19:41,187
For being such a good listener,
396
00:19:41,257 --> 00:19:42,947
you can have your phone back.
397
00:19:43,017 --> 00:19:45,257
I... I'm feeling I don't
even need my phone.
398
00:19:45,327 --> 00:19:49,187
You know, that was
a riveting tale.
399
00:19:53,227 --> 00:19:54,677
I love you, Grandma.
400
00:19:54,747 --> 00:19:58,187
Good night, bao bao.
I love you too.
401
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:04,595
♪ What up, y'all?
It me, Shu Shu ♪
402
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,890
♪ Here's a little bit
of old school for ya ♪
403
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,890
♪ It goes a little
something like this ♪
404
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,976
♪ I always try to be
the flyest chick on the block ♪
405
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,960
♪ The best communist
with the cattle stock ♪
406
00:20:13,030 --> 00:20:15,240
♪ So that's when I had
this bright idea ♪
407
00:20:15,310 --> 00:20:17,346
♪ Hit the farm for a month,
no, the farm for a year ♪
408
00:20:17,370 --> 00:20:19,440
♪ The farm is lit
'cause the party's here ♪
409
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,340
♪ Making it rain
like Chinese New Year ♪
410
00:20:21,410 --> 00:20:23,480
♪ Walking around
like "Who's that woman?" ♪
411
00:20:23,550 --> 00:20:25,410
♪ Everybody do it
like Shu Shu can ♪
412
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,370
♪ First on the farm.
You know that's me ♪
413
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,410
♪ But then a mudslide
like a freaking movie ♪
414
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:31,440
♪ Wait, there are bugs now
biting my head ♪
415
00:20:31,510 --> 00:20:33,486
♪ Then I knew this ain't cool,
so this is what I said ♪
416
00:20:33,510 --> 00:20:35,720
♪ People, this is hella work ♪
417
00:20:35,790 --> 00:20:37,480
♪ Anyone got a plow? ♪
418
00:20:37,550 --> 00:20:39,410
♪ Shit, I really gotta leave ♪
419
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,820
♪ What, huh, say it again ♪
420
00:20:41,890 --> 00:20:43,960
♪ Na na na na hey ♪
421
00:20:44,030 --> 00:20:46,130
♪ Na na na na oh ♪
422
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:50,000
♪ Come on, here I go,
ha ha, I'm over this ♪
423
00:20:50,060 --> 00:20:52,170
♪ Na na na na ♪
424
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,170
♪ Na na na na ♪
425
00:20:56,370 --> 00:20:58,130
♪ Na ♪♪
426
00:21:26,750 --> 00:21:28,680
Who the
is Awkwafina?
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