Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:08,344
[woman]
Don't lie to me!
Why were you looking at her?
2
00:00:08,413 --> 00:00:10,137
[man]
You know I care about you.
3
00:00:10,206 --> 00:00:11,793
[coughs]
4
00:00:11,862 --> 00:00:13,448
You all right, bao bao?
5
00:00:13,517 --> 00:00:15,827
Yes, I'm recovering.
I don't need
any Chinese medicine.
6
00:00:15,896 --> 00:00:17,413
I make you some soup!
7
00:00:17,482 --> 00:00:18,793
Oh, cool.
8
00:00:18,862 --> 00:00:22,448
Yeah, with Chinese
yams and ramen.
9
00:00:22,517 --> 00:00:24,758
It's good for you.
10
00:00:24,827 --> 00:00:26,655
And it's good
for your skin.
11
00:00:26,724 --> 00:00:28,344
Uh, you know what?
I'm doing good for right now.
12
00:00:28,413 --> 00:00:31,551
'Cause I have Amer-- I have
American stuff, thanks.
13
00:00:31,620 --> 00:00:34,103
What are you watching?"Love Island."
14
00:00:34,172 --> 00:00:37,172
It's episode 48 of 52,
season three.
15
00:00:37,241 --> 00:00:39,655
Oh my God-- what?
16
00:00:39,724 --> 00:00:41,413
Those people
are gutter trash.
17
00:00:41,482 --> 00:00:44,724
Hey! Hey!
Wha-- wha-- Grandma!
18
00:00:44,793 --> 00:00:46,206
You're never
gonna get better
19
00:00:46,275 --> 00:00:48,310
by being on the phone
all the time.
20
00:00:48,379 --> 00:00:49,862
My life is
really hard right now.
21
00:00:49,931 --> 00:00:51,206
Can you give me
my phone please?
22
00:00:51,275 --> 00:00:53,551
You wanna hear
about a hard life?
23
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:55,655
Let me tell you a story.
24
00:00:55,724 --> 00:00:58,551
From, like, orally?
Like an oral story?
25
00:00:58,620 --> 00:01:00,931
It's the true story
26
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,793
about how your Grandma
27
00:01:03,862 --> 00:01:06,103
met your Grandpa.
28
00:01:06,172 --> 00:01:09,000
Um, do I-- I'm good
for now, or...
29
00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:10,689
Let's do this!
30
00:01:10,758 --> 00:01:14,413
♪♪
31
00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:24,310
[man singing in Chinese]
32
00:01:24,379 --> 00:01:26,000
[Nora]
Oh, oh, no.
33
00:01:26,068 --> 00:01:28,344
Is this gonna be like
one of those Korean dramas?
34
00:01:28,413 --> 00:01:30,965
[Grandma]
You know it.
35
00:01:31,034 --> 00:01:33,344
[Nora]
What?! That--
that's my title card?
36
00:01:33,413 --> 00:01:35,793
Why do you gotta put
my title card like that?
37
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:37,551
Ah! They didn't
put my real name!
38
00:01:37,620 --> 00:01:39,172
[sneezing]
39
00:01:39,241 --> 00:01:41,827
[singing continues]
40
00:01:41,896 --> 00:01:46,172
♪♪
41
00:01:46,241 --> 00:01:49,379
Wait, wait-wait-wait.
That's supposed to be you?
42
00:01:49,448 --> 00:01:51,862
Grandma, you were hot
and five-foot-ten?
43
00:01:51,931 --> 00:01:53,758
[Grandma]
Yeah, and I'm still hot.
44
00:01:53,827 --> 00:01:56,275
Anyways, the story begins
45
00:01:56,344 --> 00:01:59,724
back on my family's estate
in rural China.
46
00:01:59,793 --> 00:02:03,724
It was 1965.
My family was wealthy.
47
00:02:03,793 --> 00:02:05,413
So I spent my days doing
48
00:02:05,482 --> 00:02:09,000
what all rich girls
like to do in 1965.
49
00:02:09,068 --> 00:02:10,896
Sit under a parasol
50
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:14,000
and stare at things
for a long time.
51
00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:16,689
It was nice to be rich.
52
00:02:16,758 --> 00:02:19,482
Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Chen.
53
00:02:19,551 --> 00:02:20,896
[Nora]
You spoke English?
54
00:02:20,965 --> 00:02:22,448
[Grandma]
I spoke Chinese,
55
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:25,689
but I'm translating
to make it easier for you.
56
00:02:25,758 --> 00:02:27,413
[Nora]
O-- okay.
57
00:02:27,482 --> 00:02:30,482
[Grandma]
Life was good, until one day
58
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:32,275
our garbage man...
59
00:02:34,931 --> 00:02:35,862
...dropped dead.
60
00:02:35,931 --> 00:02:37,172
[Nora]
Oh, shit!
61
00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:38,655
[Grandma]
Oh, it's okay.
62
00:02:38,724 --> 00:02:41,275
Because he was immediately
replaced by...
63
00:02:41,344 --> 00:02:43,137
[sensuous music]
64
00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:46,724
♪ Ooh... ♪
65
00:02:46,793 --> 00:02:47,896
♪♪
66
00:02:47,965 --> 00:02:48,965
[man, whispering]
Garbage Boy.
67
00:02:49,034 --> 00:02:53,034
♪ Oh yeah ♪
68
00:02:53,103 --> 00:02:57,034
♪ I'm cryin' out to you ♪
69
00:02:57,103 --> 00:02:58,862
♪ Baby ♪
70
00:02:58,931 --> 00:03:01,586
[Nora]
Oh, my God, that is literally
so fucking gross right now.
71
00:03:01,655 --> 00:03:05,482
[Grandma]
No! Garbage Boy was so hot.
72
00:03:05,551 --> 00:03:08,758
All I wanted was to get
his attention.
73
00:03:08,827 --> 00:03:11,965
♪ Now, pretty baby, ooh ♪
74
00:03:12,034 --> 00:03:13,758
♪ Tell me ♪
75
00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:18,068
♪ Do you like what you see?
'Cause you know... ♪
76
00:03:18,137 --> 00:03:20,310
You done with that milk?
77
00:03:20,379 --> 00:03:22,310
I am now.
78
00:03:22,379 --> 00:03:24,344
There's still a bit left.
79
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:28,965
♪ Something's
coming over me ♪
80
00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:32,482
♪ Is it love? ♪
81
00:03:32,551 --> 00:03:35,000
Beautiful watch...
82
00:03:35,068 --> 00:03:37,275
...for a beautiful girl.This old thing?
83
00:03:37,344 --> 00:03:39,862
It's a family heirloom,
I just...
84
00:03:39,931 --> 00:03:43,482
[Grandma]
And just like that,
he took my breath away.
85
00:03:43,551 --> 00:03:47,724
I knew right then that I
needed to be with that boy.
86
00:03:47,793 --> 00:03:49,758
[Nora]
The kid that chugs
your old milk?
87
00:03:49,827 --> 00:03:52,137
[Grandma]
Oh, you sound like my mother.
88
00:03:52,206 --> 00:03:56,551
She completely disapproved
of me dating Garbage Boy.
89
00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:59,103
[speaking Chinese]
90
00:04:01,896 --> 00:04:03,724
I don't wanna be
with a rich boy.
91
00:04:03,793 --> 00:04:05,655
Garbage Boy
is not trash!
92
00:04:05,724 --> 00:04:08,620
[speaking Chinese]
93
00:04:08,689 --> 00:04:10,586
Milk doesn't even expire.
94
00:04:10,655 --> 00:04:12,517
♪♪
95
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:16,965
[Grandma]
But my mother's disapproval
only made me want him more.
96
00:04:17,034 --> 00:04:18,413
♪♪
97
00:04:18,482 --> 00:04:21,413
Garbage Boy and I exchanged
notes in secret.
98
00:04:24,724 --> 00:04:29,137
One day, I was able to sneak
away for just long enough.
99
00:04:29,206 --> 00:04:32,137
[woman singing in Chinese]
100
00:04:32,206 --> 00:04:35,172
♪♪
101
00:04:39,689 --> 00:04:41,310
[Nora]
That's a whole lotta lip
there, Grandma.
102
00:04:41,379 --> 00:04:43,931
[Grandma, chucking]
Yes, we didn't use tongue
103
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:47,000
because it wasn't
of the era.
104
00:04:47,068 --> 00:04:49,655
So then y'all smashed,
Had a couple babies.
105
00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:52,655
Here I am now, um...
I gotta check my Weibo.
106
00:04:52,724 --> 00:04:55,034
Hey! This story's not over!
107
00:04:55,103 --> 00:04:58,655
Things were going really well.
108
00:04:58,724 --> 00:05:01,655
Until 1966.
109
00:05:01,724 --> 00:05:04,551
It was the start
of the Cultural Revolution.
110
00:05:04,620 --> 00:05:07,758
A time when rich people
and intellectuals were forced
111
00:05:07,827 --> 00:05:11,586
by the government to destroy
any sign of wealth and status.
112
00:05:11,655 --> 00:05:15,482
Even though my family was
wealthy and therefore targets,
113
00:05:15,551 --> 00:05:18,206
I still had other
things on my mind.
114
00:05:18,275 --> 00:05:20,724
♪♪
115
00:05:29,827 --> 00:05:31,310
[gasps]What up, girl?
116
00:05:31,379 --> 00:05:32,758
It me, Shu Shu.
117
00:05:32,827 --> 00:05:35,862
[man, whispering]
Shu Shu.
118
00:05:35,931 --> 00:05:37,758
[Nora]
You mean, Shu Shu, Shu Shu?
119
00:05:37,827 --> 00:05:39,862
The one who couldn't
go to Atlantic City?
120
00:05:39,931 --> 00:05:42,241
[Grandma]
Yeah, my best friend from China.
121
00:05:42,310 --> 00:05:45,034
[wind gusting]We told each other everything.
122
00:05:45,103 --> 00:05:47,137
Hello, Best Friend
Shu Shu.
123
00:05:47,206 --> 00:05:49,103
Sorry for the wide smile.
124
00:05:49,172 --> 00:05:51,586
I'm just... so in love.
125
00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:54,034
Oh, really?
With who?
126
00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:57,034
The boy who takes
out our garbage.
127
00:05:57,103 --> 00:05:59,103
[whispers]
Garbage Boy.
Oh, Garbage Boy.
128
00:05:59,172 --> 00:06:01,172
He is fine.
Saw him rip apart
129
00:06:01,241 --> 00:06:04,103
a cardboard box once.
No scissors, shit was sick.
130
00:06:04,172 --> 00:06:05,344
[sighs]
131
00:06:05,413 --> 00:06:08,137
Anyway, enough about me.
How are you, Shu Shu?
132
00:06:08,206 --> 00:06:10,689
I'm in love, too.With who?
133
00:06:10,758 --> 00:06:13,310
Mao Zedong.
134
00:06:13,379 --> 00:06:15,793
Chairman Mao?
Was he hot?
135
00:06:15,862 --> 00:06:17,172
Shu Shu thought so.
136
00:06:17,241 --> 00:06:19,034
Chairman Mao's so smart.
137
00:06:19,103 --> 00:06:21,034
He's got this awesome
place out in the countryside
138
00:06:21,103 --> 00:06:23,000
called the village.
Hmm.
139
00:06:23,068 --> 00:06:24,931
We're all going
to be, like...
140
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:29,551
joining the working class,
working the fields.
141
00:06:29,620 --> 00:06:31,931
It'll be rustic AF, bitch.
142
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,068
I don't know,
I don't really like fields.
143
00:06:35,137 --> 00:06:38,034
You know, and the rows of
plants really freak me out.
144
00:06:38,103 --> 00:06:41,655
Besides, the love
of my life is here.
145
00:06:41,724 --> 00:06:44,620
Fine. Suit yourself.
146
00:06:44,689 --> 00:06:46,827
More rural "D" for me.
147
00:06:49,551 --> 00:06:53,000
[Grandma]
Things would only get more
complicated from there.
148
00:06:53,068 --> 00:06:56,655
My neighbors, the Chens,
were caught with valuables.
149
00:06:56,724 --> 00:06:59,379
So the Red Guard,
Mao's law enforcers
150
00:06:59,448 --> 00:07:02,931
made them leave the city
to work in the countryside
151
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:06,172
which meant we had to throw away
all our valuables.
152
00:07:06,241 --> 00:07:08,517
- [Nora] Everything?
- [Grandma] Everything!
153
00:07:08,586 --> 00:07:12,344
Even the expensive
China that was in our family
for generations.
154
00:07:12,413 --> 00:07:15,586
My parents didn't want to show
any signs of our wealth.
155
00:07:15,655 --> 00:07:19,103
Otherwise, we'd be forced
to go to the deep countryside.
156
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,103
Work on a farm.[loud shattering]
157
00:07:21,172 --> 00:07:23,482
[Nora]
Like Paris Hilton and Nicole
Richie did on "The Simple Life?"
158
00:07:23,551 --> 00:07:25,448
[Grandma]
Yeah! Just like that!
159
00:07:25,517 --> 00:07:28,827
I didn't want to do it,
but we had to.
160
00:07:28,896 --> 00:07:32,793
I just figured with more trash,
comes more garbage.
161
00:07:32,862 --> 00:07:37,241
And with more garbage
comes Garbage Boy.
162
00:07:37,310 --> 00:07:40,137
But still, we couldn't
avoid the Red Guard.
163
00:07:40,206 --> 00:07:41,724
Is that a valuable
wrist watch?
164
00:07:43,241 --> 00:07:45,931
No, no it's not.Destroy it at once!
165
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,793
You can't.
Please, this is the one--
166
00:07:48,862 --> 00:07:50,379
This is the one
Garbage Boy complimented--
167
00:07:50,448 --> 00:07:51,758
♪♪
168
00:07:51,827 --> 00:07:55,068
[distorted laughter]
169
00:07:55,137 --> 00:07:59,655
[moaning in slow motion]
170
00:07:59,724 --> 00:08:01,586
[glass shattering]
171
00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:06,103
[Grandma]
And that wasn't the worst part.
172
00:08:06,172 --> 00:08:09,172
My refusal to immediately
give up the watch
173
00:08:09,241 --> 00:08:11,482
was considered
an act of defiance.
174
00:08:11,551 --> 00:08:13,655
We were now targets
of Chairman Mao.
175
00:08:13,724 --> 00:08:15,689
We needed to flee.
176
00:08:15,758 --> 00:08:17,482
[shouting in Chinese]
177
00:08:17,551 --> 00:08:20,827
No, I can't!
178
00:08:20,896 --> 00:08:22,344
[whispers]
Garbage Boy.
179
00:08:22,413 --> 00:08:24,000
[Grandma]
My parents paid
a local smuggler
180
00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:25,965
for safe passage
to Hong Kong.
181
00:08:26,034 --> 00:08:28,724
And from there,
we travelled to America.
182
00:08:28,793 --> 00:08:30,827
And we had to leave right away.
183
00:08:30,896 --> 00:08:33,068
But I couldn't go without
telling Garbage Boy.
184
00:08:36,344 --> 00:08:38,172
[Nora]
Wait! Wait-wait-wait!
185
00:08:38,241 --> 00:08:39,862
So you left and you
never talked to him?!
186
00:08:39,931 --> 00:08:41,241
Did you get his number?
187
00:08:41,310 --> 00:08:43,379
[Grandma]
Shh! Just listen.
188
00:08:43,448 --> 00:08:45,551
[rodent chittering]
189
00:08:45,620 --> 00:08:48,172
[wind gusting]
190
00:08:48,241 --> 00:08:51,206
♪♪
191
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,620
What happens next?
192
00:08:58,689 --> 00:09:00,655
Well...
193
00:09:00,724 --> 00:09:04,000
I met a new man...
194
00:09:04,068 --> 00:09:05,655
...in America.
195
00:09:05,724 --> 00:09:08,000
[bird screeches]What?!
196
00:09:09,448 --> 00:09:11,620
[Grandma]
I finally made it
to New York City.
197
00:09:11,689 --> 00:09:14,931
I forged a nursing degree
and soon had a job
198
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:18,034
at Flushing West Hospital
where I made friends
199
00:09:18,103 --> 00:09:20,034
with other
renowned immigrants.
200
00:09:20,103 --> 00:09:21,620
[exclaims] Another one
bites the dust.
201
00:09:21,689 --> 00:09:22,689
What?
202
00:09:22,758 --> 00:09:24,758
Another eligible
bachelor, married.
203
00:09:24,827 --> 00:09:26,724
Reading the wedding
announcements again?
204
00:09:26,793 --> 00:09:28,517
Of course!
A girl's got to find
205
00:09:28,586 --> 00:09:30,241
a man and a green
card somehow.
206
00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:32,413
I was a diplomat
in Haiti.
207
00:09:32,482 --> 00:09:34,241
I can't even get
a second date here.
208
00:09:34,310 --> 00:09:35,551
America is crazy.
209
00:09:35,620 --> 00:09:38,241
He's a mailman.
Spending that much money?
210
00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:40,172
[speaking Spanish]
211
00:09:40,241 --> 00:09:41,758
In Puerto Rico,
he's what we call
212
00:09:41,827 --> 00:09:44,241
a squash
that is showing off.
213
00:09:44,310 --> 00:09:47,275
Probably because he has
a very small squash, hey?
214
00:09:47,344 --> 00:09:50,620
[all laughing]
215
00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:51,655
[sighing]
216
00:09:51,724 --> 00:09:52,827
How about you,
Young Grandma?
217
00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,931
Is there anyone
you've been eyeing?
218
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,896
No, not really.
219
00:09:56,965 --> 00:09:58,758
[Grandma]
And then I saw him.
220
00:09:58,827 --> 00:10:00,827
♪ Let's do this for real ♪
221
00:10:00,896 --> 00:10:03,344
♪♪
222
00:10:03,413 --> 00:10:07,793
♪ I know you wanna
feel, baby ♪
223
00:10:07,862 --> 00:10:10,172
♪ Wanna take you
off the grill ♪
224
00:10:10,241 --> 00:10:12,655
♪ Take for the chill ♪
225
00:10:12,724 --> 00:10:15,206
♪ Do this thing for real ♪
226
00:10:15,275 --> 00:10:17,758
[man, whispering]
Doc Hottie.
227
00:10:17,827 --> 00:10:20,103
♪♪
228
00:10:20,172 --> 00:10:22,586
It's very unsanitary.
Yeah.
229
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:25,068
But Grandma liked it.
230
00:10:25,137 --> 00:10:26,551
[Grandma]
Over the next few weeks,
231
00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:30,103
Doc Hottie and I were
inseparable.
232
00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:32,827
He had everything
I could have wanted.
233
00:10:32,896 --> 00:10:35,724
Money, cars, charm.
234
00:10:35,793 --> 00:10:39,103
It was the American Dream.
235
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:41,827
[Nora]
Grandma, what kind of--
what kind of effects are these?
236
00:10:41,896 --> 00:10:44,655
[Grandma]
It's a K Drama.
We don't have the budget.
237
00:10:44,724 --> 00:10:46,275
[Nora]
Who-- who is we?
238
00:10:46,344 --> 00:10:50,068
[Grandma]
Everything was going
splendidly... until...
239
00:10:50,137 --> 00:10:53,551
♪♪
240
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:56,551
Babe, aren't you gonna
pick up your trash?
241
00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:57,724
Oh, don't worry
about it, babe.
242
00:10:57,793 --> 00:11:00,448
Someone will pick
it up, come on.
243
00:11:00,517 --> 00:11:02,103
♪♪
244
00:11:02,172 --> 00:11:05,758
Babe... babe.
245
00:11:05,827 --> 00:11:09,379
[echoing]
Babe? Babe?
246
00:11:09,448 --> 00:11:11,586
Look at me.
Ice cream's melting.
Come on, babe.
247
00:11:11,655 --> 00:11:13,344
[woman]
Look out.
248
00:11:13,413 --> 00:11:16,482
[all screaming]Oh, God, no!
249
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:21,137
[piano keys striking,
wood splintering]
250
00:11:21,206 --> 00:11:24,758
[Nora]
A piano fell on his head?
That didn't happen.
251
00:11:24,827 --> 00:11:26,896
It's real.Did Doc Hottie die?
252
00:11:26,965 --> 00:11:29,965
No, but something
even worse happened.
253
00:11:30,034 --> 00:11:33,517
What?He survived.
254
00:11:33,586 --> 00:11:37,034
[gasping]
255
00:11:37,103 --> 00:11:39,275
Sweetie.
256
00:11:39,344 --> 00:11:41,931
Please don't be ugly.
Please don't be ugly.
257
00:11:44,379 --> 00:11:46,620
[exhales]
258
00:11:46,689 --> 00:11:48,793
Oh, thank God.
259
00:11:48,862 --> 00:11:50,758
Who are you?
260
00:11:50,827 --> 00:11:52,551
It's me.
261
00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:54,862
Your girlfriend,
Young Grandma.
262
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:58,517
I don't-- I don't know
why you are.
263
00:11:58,586 --> 00:12:00,103
♪♪
264
00:12:00,172 --> 00:12:01,896
[sighs deeply]
265
00:12:01,965 --> 00:12:04,758
[Grandma]
Doc Hottie had amnesia.
266
00:12:04,827 --> 00:12:06,413
[gasps]
Oh, my God!
267
00:12:06,482 --> 00:12:10,310
But all your piggyback rides?
Viewing the State of Liberty?
268
00:12:10,379 --> 00:12:13,137
I know.
It was horrible.
269
00:12:13,206 --> 00:12:16,137
[Grandma]
I just wanted to get home
and cry forever.
270
00:12:16,206 --> 00:12:18,344
♪♪
271
00:12:18,413 --> 00:12:20,758
58th and Main, please.
272
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:24,068
Right the way, ma'am.
273
00:12:24,137 --> 00:12:25,655
Garbage Boy?!
274
00:12:25,724 --> 00:12:27,448
[Nora]
What? He's in America now?
275
00:12:27,517 --> 00:12:29,413
But I thought your note
flew away?
276
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:32,344
[Grandma]
Oh, it did.
But it must've been fate.
277
00:12:32,413 --> 00:12:34,034
Or because the local smuggler
278
00:12:34,103 --> 00:12:36,482
always brought people
into Queens first.
279
00:12:36,551 --> 00:12:39,034
Garbage Boy and I
started talking
280
00:12:39,103 --> 00:12:41,379
like no time had passed.
281
00:12:41,448 --> 00:12:43,172
It was magical.
282
00:12:43,241 --> 00:12:46,275
We ended up spending
the whole night together.
283
00:12:46,344 --> 00:12:47,586
[Nora]
Doing what?
284
00:12:47,655 --> 00:12:49,689
- [Grandma] Just holding hands.
- [Nora] No!
285
00:12:49,758 --> 00:12:51,655
[Grandma]
We threaded our fingers,
286
00:12:51,724 --> 00:12:55,034
then moonwalked across
each other's palms.
287
00:12:55,103 --> 00:12:57,862
We scissored so slowly.
288
00:12:57,931 --> 00:13:01,137
I did the "farting rocket
into the hole."
289
00:13:01,206 --> 00:13:03,931
We slapped each other's hands
till they were raw.
290
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,241
Up and down and up and down.
291
00:13:07,310 --> 00:13:10,413
Oh, Lord, Lord,
he blew my mind!
292
00:13:12,344 --> 00:13:15,206
Grandma!
You don't have to--
293
00:13:15,275 --> 00:13:18,103
I don't need to see--
Grandma, stop![chuckles]
294
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,344
It was a wonderful night.
295
00:13:20,413 --> 00:13:22,724
I couldn't wait
to tell my friends.
296
00:13:22,793 --> 00:13:25,103
Oh, that is
so romantic.
297
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:28,103
I'm so happy for you.
What was his name again?
298
00:13:28,172 --> 00:13:29,620
Garbage Boy.
299
00:13:29,689 --> 00:13:31,655
Wait. Garbage Boy.
300
00:13:31,724 --> 00:13:35,034
I have heard
that name.
301
00:13:35,103 --> 00:13:38,586
Oh! He is getting...
married!
302
00:13:38,655 --> 00:13:41,413
Oh, hell no!
303
00:13:42,724 --> 00:13:43,931
What'd you do with
that man slut Garbage Boy?
304
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,827
I mean, how did you
get past that
305
00:13:45,896 --> 00:13:49,344
It was a dark time
in my life.
306
00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:52,655
My only happiness was in
this new hip flavor,
307
00:13:52,724 --> 00:13:55,965
Diet Neapolitan.
308
00:13:56,034 --> 00:13:58,586
I couldn't stop thinking
about Garbage Boy.
309
00:13:58,655 --> 00:14:01,724
Everywhere I looked,
there he was.
310
00:14:01,793 --> 00:14:04,344
And he called every day.[telephone ringing]
311
00:14:04,413 --> 00:14:06,689
[Nora]
You didn't answer it,
though, right, Grandma?
312
00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:08,827
'Cause-- 'cause
fuck that dude, right?
313
00:14:08,896 --> 00:14:10,862
[Grandma]
Exactly. Fuck that dude.
314
00:14:10,931 --> 00:14:14,517
[telephone ringing]But I'll admit,
he was persistent.
315
00:14:14,586 --> 00:14:16,551
[knocking on door]I said I didn't--
316
00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:20,275
Young Grandma.
Doc Hottie.
317
00:14:20,344 --> 00:14:23,689
My memory's back.
I'm cured of my amnesia.
318
00:14:23,758 --> 00:14:27,206
I remember our love.
I remember everything.
319
00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:31,724
Let's get married.
320
00:14:31,793 --> 00:14:34,482
♪♪
321
00:14:34,551 --> 00:14:37,793
What? How many goddamn
plot twists you got
in this story, Grandma?
322
00:14:37,862 --> 00:14:42,275
♪♪
323
00:14:42,344 --> 00:14:44,172
You've been
through a lot.
324
00:14:44,241 --> 00:14:46,172
Weeping because
of my amnesia.
325
00:14:46,241 --> 00:14:48,689
You don't have to
give me an answer now.
326
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,034
I'm going
to the hospital.
327
00:14:53,103 --> 00:14:55,275
They're letting me
do surgery again.
328
00:14:55,344 --> 00:14:59,758
This new procedure
called... kidney transplant.
329
00:14:59,827 --> 00:15:01,551
Oh.
330
00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:03,000
Find me
when you're ready.
331
00:15:05,103 --> 00:15:08,482
[Nora]
Wow. So--
so you said yes, right?
332
00:15:08,551 --> 00:15:10,655
[Grandma]
I didn't know what to do.
333
00:15:10,724 --> 00:15:12,827
Doc Hottie wanted to marry me,
334
00:15:12,896 --> 00:15:16,310
but I couldn't stop thinking
about Garbage Boy.
335
00:15:16,379 --> 00:15:18,758
And Camren and Lehana
were no help.
336
00:15:18,827 --> 00:15:21,103
Garbage Boy's
the love of your life.
337
00:15:21,172 --> 00:15:22,724
You can stop his wedding.
338
00:15:22,793 --> 00:15:24,344
Ah, but Doc Hottie
will hook you up.
339
00:15:24,413 --> 00:15:26,620
He's rich.
Your parents adore him.
340
00:15:26,689 --> 00:15:28,241
It's a no brainer.
Marry him.
341
00:15:28,310 --> 00:15:29,965
[Grandma]
I was lost.
342
00:15:30,034 --> 00:15:32,448
Until guess who
walked through the door.
343
00:15:32,517 --> 00:15:34,172
What up?[Nora]
What?!
344
00:15:34,241 --> 00:15:36,586
It me, Shu Shu.
345
00:15:36,655 --> 00:15:39,275
In America![both laughing]
346
00:15:39,344 --> 00:15:41,344
Doop doop boop boop!
347
00:15:41,413 --> 00:15:42,724
[both, laughing]
Boop!
348
00:15:42,793 --> 00:15:44,413
[Nora]
How did Shu Shu get there?
349
00:15:44,482 --> 00:15:46,344
It was a crazy story.
350
00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:49,379
[spotlights switching on,
dramatic music swelling]
351
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:53,689
♪♪
352
00:15:53,758 --> 00:15:57,965
[Shu Shu]
So, I stayed in China and
ended up in the countryside.
353
00:15:58,034 --> 00:16:00,724
But I quickly learned
that I did not belong there.
354
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:04,517
The work was hard.
I did not like manual labor.
355
00:16:04,586 --> 00:16:07,517
And there were so many bugs.
356
00:16:07,586 --> 00:16:08,931
[thunder rumbling]
357
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,827
One, I got caught in a mudslide
and was washed away.
358
00:16:12,896 --> 00:16:15,448
Even though I still loved
Chairman Mao,
359
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:18,655
I decided that I needed
to get out of China.
360
00:16:18,724 --> 00:16:21,103
So I swam to Hong Kong.
361
00:16:21,172 --> 00:16:23,931
Almost getting eating
by sharks along the way.
362
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,586
Nooo!
363
00:16:25,655 --> 00:16:28,586
And then I made it
to New York.
364
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:32,275
So, that's my update.
What about you?
365
00:16:32,344 --> 00:16:35,862
[Grandma]
I told Shu Shu everything
about Doc Hottie
and Garbage Boy,
366
00:16:35,931 --> 00:16:40,000
except I didn't have puppets,
so my story was
way more boring.
367
00:16:40,068 --> 00:16:41,448
So what do I do?
368
00:16:41,517 --> 00:16:43,620
We did not come to this
country to settle.
369
00:16:43,689 --> 00:16:45,413
I got washed in a mudslide
370
00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:47,241
and fought 75 sharks
to get here.
371
00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:49,482
You are too hot
and too smart
372
00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:52,517
to be anything less
than the Plan "A"
bitch you are.
373
00:16:52,586 --> 00:16:55,965
Yeah.So what do you want?
374
00:16:56,034 --> 00:16:58,551
♪♪
375
00:16:58,620 --> 00:17:02,344
Love.
Then go...
376
00:17:02,413 --> 00:17:04,482
...get...
377
00:17:04,551 --> 00:17:05,827
...it.
378
00:17:05,896 --> 00:17:07,206
You're right.
379
00:17:07,275 --> 00:17:09,137
I'm gonna get
what I want.
380
00:17:12,206 --> 00:17:14,000
Wait, so who are
you gonna choose?
381
00:17:14,068 --> 00:17:15,827
Doctor Dick
or Garbage Dick?
382
00:17:15,896 --> 00:17:19,655
Either way, get that
nasty shit, girl!
383
00:17:19,724 --> 00:17:21,827
Doc Hottie.
384
00:17:21,896 --> 00:17:24,137
You came.
I knew you would.
385
00:17:24,206 --> 00:17:26,379
Actually, I came be
to give you this.
386
00:17:26,448 --> 00:17:27,793
Uh...
387
00:17:27,862 --> 00:17:30,724
Uh...
388
00:17:30,793 --> 00:17:33,689
Why?I think you're wonderful.
389
00:17:33,758 --> 00:17:36,793
And a doctor
and for all the reasons
why I should love you.
390
00:17:36,862 --> 00:17:38,689
I'm just in love
with someone else.
391
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:41,689
But--
Sorry.
392
00:17:41,758 --> 00:17:43,206
No.
I'm so sorry.
393
00:17:43,275 --> 00:17:46,103
Young Grandma...
Young Grandma!
394
00:17:46,172 --> 00:17:49,137
[monitor flat-lining]
395
00:17:52,862 --> 00:17:54,827
Stop the wedding.
396
00:17:54,896 --> 00:17:57,206
Young Grandma.
397
00:17:57,275 --> 00:18:00,206
♪♪
398
00:18:00,275 --> 00:18:01,551
Ohh!
399
00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:03,241
It's not
what it looks like.
400
00:18:03,310 --> 00:18:05,793
Oh, thank God.She's my sister.
401
00:18:05,862 --> 00:18:08,275
[both]
What?! That's fuckin' gross.
402
00:18:08,344 --> 00:18:10,103
It's not what
it is sounds like.
403
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:11,827
My sister was sponsored
to come to the States
404
00:18:11,896 --> 00:18:14,172
by the Lao family here.
405
00:18:14,241 --> 00:18:16,517
They were only allowed
to sponsor their own
family, though,
406
00:18:16,586 --> 00:18:18,275
so she lived here
as their daughter.
407
00:18:18,344 --> 00:18:19,620
She even took on
their last name.
408
00:18:19,689 --> 00:18:21,655
Then in order
for me to come over,
409
00:18:21,724 --> 00:18:23,068
we were to be married.
410
00:18:23,137 --> 00:18:25,068
The marriage is just
for citizenship, though.
411
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,965
We're divorced immediately
412
00:18:27,034 --> 00:18:28,551
and then we'll be free
to live our lives.
413
00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:30,896
Wow, that sounds like
a really weird loophole.
414
00:18:30,965 --> 00:18:33,758
I know, but it's true.
It's why I've been calling.
415
00:18:33,827 --> 00:18:36,379
Ever since that night,
I've been trying to explain.
416
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:38,344
Mmm-mm-mm, no!
417
00:18:38,413 --> 00:18:40,586
What could he possibly say
to make this okay?
418
00:18:40,655 --> 00:18:43,310
Hold on.
419
00:18:43,379 --> 00:18:46,000
I've been meaning
to give this back to you.
420
00:18:46,068 --> 00:18:48,965
Ohh! It's my watch.
421
00:18:49,034 --> 00:18:51,103
But it was
completely trashed.
422
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:52,931
Not all trash
is garbage.
423
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,931
[Nora]
Oh, hell yeah,
Garbage Boy!
424
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,793
After the Red Guard
threw it away,
425
00:18:56,862 --> 00:18:58,310
I spent years
fixing it.
426
00:18:58,379 --> 00:19:01,068
I knew that...
I had to get it back to you.
427
00:19:01,137 --> 00:19:02,310
Where it belonged.
428
00:19:02,379 --> 00:19:05,827
A beautiful watch
for a beautiful girl.
429
00:19:07,448 --> 00:19:09,344
Go marry your sister.
430
00:19:09,413 --> 00:19:12,275
♪♪
431
00:19:12,344 --> 00:19:16,034
[officiant]
I now pronounce you
Mr. and Mrs. Lin.
432
00:19:16,103 --> 00:19:18,758
[cheering and applause]
433
00:19:18,827 --> 00:19:20,827
♪♪
434
00:19:25,689 --> 00:19:29,689
Garbage Boy was Grandpa?
435
00:19:29,758 --> 00:19:31,517
This was taken
on my wedding day.
436
00:19:31,586 --> 00:19:33,620
Oh, wow.
437
00:19:33,689 --> 00:19:34,896
You know, I thought
my life was hard.
438
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:37,896
Well, life can be hard,
but it's much easier
439
00:19:37,965 --> 00:19:40,137
when you have
something you love.
440
00:19:40,206 --> 00:19:42,310
Yeah.
441
00:19:42,379 --> 00:19:45,310
All right,
time for bed.
442
00:19:45,379 --> 00:19:47,620
And here.
443
00:19:47,689 --> 00:19:49,448
For being such
a good listener,
444
00:19:49,517 --> 00:19:51,206
you can have
your phone back.
445
00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:53,517
I-- I'm feeling
I don't even
need my phone.
446
00:19:53,586 --> 00:19:57,448
[Grandma chuckles]You know, that was
a riveting tale.
447
00:19:57,517 --> 00:20:01,413
♪♪
448
00:20:01,482 --> 00:20:02,931
I love you, Grandma.
449
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,448
Good night, bao bao.
I love you too.
450
00:20:11,448 --> 00:20:13,931
♪ What up, y'all?
It me, Shu Shu ♪
451
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,275
♪ Here's a little bit
of old school for ya ♪
452
00:20:16,344 --> 00:20:18,275
♪ It goes a little
something like this ♪
453
00:20:18,344 --> 00:20:20,310
♪ I always try to be
the flyest chick on the block ♪
454
00:20:20,379 --> 00:20:22,344
♪ The best communist
with the cattle stock ♪
455
00:20:22,413 --> 00:20:24,620
♪ So that's when I had
this bright idea ♪
456
00:20:24,689 --> 00:20:26,689
♪ Hit the farm for a month,
no, the farm for a year ♪
457
00:20:26,758 --> 00:20:28,827
♪ The farm is lit
'cause the party's here ♪
458
00:20:28,896 --> 00:20:30,724
♪ Making it rain
like Chinese New Year ♪
459
00:20:30,793 --> 00:20:32,862
♪ Walking around
like "Who's that woman?" ♪
460
00:20:32,931 --> 00:20:34,793
♪ Everybody do it
like Shu Shu can ♪
461
00:20:34,862 --> 00:20:36,758
♪ First on the farm.
you know that's me ♪
462
00:20:36,827 --> 00:20:38,793
♪ But then a mudslide
like a freaking movie ♪
463
00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:40,827
♪ Wait, there are bugs now
biting my head ♪
464
00:20:40,896 --> 00:20:42,827
♪ Then I knew this ain't cool,
so this is what I said ♪
465
00:20:42,896 --> 00:20:45,103
♪ People, this is hella work ♪
466
00:20:45,172 --> 00:20:46,862
♪ Anyone got a plow? ♪
467
00:20:46,931 --> 00:20:48,793
♪ Shit, I really gotta leave ♪
468
00:20:48,862 --> 00:20:51,206
♪ What, huh, say it again ♪
469
00:20:51,275 --> 00:20:53,344
♪ Na na na na hey ♪
470
00:20:53,413 --> 00:20:55,517
♪ Na na na na oh ♪
471
00:20:55,586 --> 00:20:59,379
♪ Come on, here I go,
ha ha, I'm over this ♪
472
00:20:59,448 --> 00:21:01,551
♪ Na na na na ♪
473
00:21:01,620 --> 00:21:03,551
♪ Na na na na ♪
474
00:21:03,620 --> 00:21:05,689
♪♪
475
00:21:05,758 --> 00:21:07,517
♪ Na ♪♪
476
00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:14,103
♪♪
477
00:21:36,137 --> 00:21:38,068
[man]
Who the [bleep]
is Awkwafina?
33925
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.