All language subtitles for Awkwafina S01E08_English

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:08,344 [woman] Don't lie to me! Why were you looking at her? 2 00:00:08,413 --> 00:00:10,137 [man] You know I care about you. 3 00:00:10,206 --> 00:00:11,793 [coughs] 4 00:00:11,862 --> 00:00:13,448 You all right, bao bao? 5 00:00:13,517 --> 00:00:15,827 Yes, I'm recovering. I don't need any Chinese medicine. 6 00:00:15,896 --> 00:00:17,413 I make you some soup! 7 00:00:17,482 --> 00:00:18,793 Oh, cool. 8 00:00:18,862 --> 00:00:22,448 Yeah, with Chinese yams and ramen. 9 00:00:22,517 --> 00:00:24,758 It's good for you. 10 00:00:24,827 --> 00:00:26,655 And it's good for your skin. 11 00:00:26,724 --> 00:00:28,344 Uh, you know what? I'm doing good for right now. 12 00:00:28,413 --> 00:00:31,551 'Cause I have Amer-- I have American stuff, thanks. 13 00:00:31,620 --> 00:00:34,103 What are you watching?"Love Island." 14 00:00:34,172 --> 00:00:37,172 It's episode 48 of 52, season three. 15 00:00:37,241 --> 00:00:39,655 Oh my God-- what? 16 00:00:39,724 --> 00:00:41,413 Those people are gutter trash. 17 00:00:41,482 --> 00:00:44,724 Hey! Hey! Wha-- wha-- Grandma! 18 00:00:44,793 --> 00:00:46,206 You're never gonna get better 19 00:00:46,275 --> 00:00:48,310 by being on the phone all the time. 20 00:00:48,379 --> 00:00:49,862 My life is really hard right now. 21 00:00:49,931 --> 00:00:51,206 Can you give me my phone please? 22 00:00:51,275 --> 00:00:53,551 You wanna hear about a hard life? 23 00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:55,655 Let me tell you a story. 24 00:00:55,724 --> 00:00:58,551 From, like, orally? Like an oral story? 25 00:00:58,620 --> 00:01:00,931 It's the true story 26 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,793 about how your Grandma 27 00:01:03,862 --> 00:01:06,103 met your Grandpa. 28 00:01:06,172 --> 00:01:09,000 Um, do I-- I'm good for now, or... 29 00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:10,689 Let's do this! 30 00:01:10,758 --> 00:01:14,413 ♪♪ 31 00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:24,310 [man singing in Chinese] 32 00:01:24,379 --> 00:01:26,000 [Nora] Oh, oh, no. 33 00:01:26,068 --> 00:01:28,344 Is this gonna be like one of those Korean dramas? 34 00:01:28,413 --> 00:01:30,965 [Grandma] You know it. 35 00:01:31,034 --> 00:01:33,344 [Nora] What?! That-- that's my title card? 36 00:01:33,413 --> 00:01:35,793 Why do you gotta put my title card like that? 37 00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:37,551 Ah! They didn't put my real name! 38 00:01:37,620 --> 00:01:39,172 [sneezing] 39 00:01:39,241 --> 00:01:41,827 [singing continues] 40 00:01:41,896 --> 00:01:46,172 ♪♪ 41 00:01:46,241 --> 00:01:49,379 Wait, wait-wait-wait. That's supposed to be you? 42 00:01:49,448 --> 00:01:51,862 Grandma, you were hot and five-foot-ten? 43 00:01:51,931 --> 00:01:53,758 [Grandma] Yeah, and I'm still hot. 44 00:01:53,827 --> 00:01:56,275 Anyways, the story begins 45 00:01:56,344 --> 00:01:59,724 back on my family's estate in rural China. 46 00:01:59,793 --> 00:02:03,724 It was 1965. My family was wealthy. 47 00:02:03,793 --> 00:02:05,413 So I spent my days doing 48 00:02:05,482 --> 00:02:09,000 what all rich girls like to do in 1965. 49 00:02:09,068 --> 00:02:10,896 Sit under a parasol 50 00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:14,000 and stare at things for a long time. 51 00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:16,689 It was nice to be rich. 52 00:02:16,758 --> 00:02:19,482 Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Chen. 53 00:02:19,551 --> 00:02:20,896 [Nora] You spoke English? 54 00:02:20,965 --> 00:02:22,448 [Grandma] I spoke Chinese, 55 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:25,689 but I'm translating to make it easier for you. 56 00:02:25,758 --> 00:02:27,413 [Nora] O-- okay. 57 00:02:27,482 --> 00:02:30,482 [Grandma] Life was good, until one day 58 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:32,275 our garbage man... 59 00:02:34,931 --> 00:02:35,862 ...dropped dead. 60 00:02:35,931 --> 00:02:37,172 [Nora] Oh, shit! 61 00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:38,655 [Grandma] Oh, it's okay. 62 00:02:38,724 --> 00:02:41,275 Because he was immediately replaced by... 63 00:02:41,344 --> 00:02:43,137 [sensuous music] 64 00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:46,724 ♪ Ooh... ♪ 65 00:02:46,793 --> 00:02:47,896 ♪♪ 66 00:02:47,965 --> 00:02:48,965 [man, whispering] Garbage Boy. 67 00:02:49,034 --> 00:02:53,034 ♪ Oh yeah ♪ 68 00:02:53,103 --> 00:02:57,034 ♪ I'm cryin' out to you ♪ 69 00:02:57,103 --> 00:02:58,862 ♪ Baby ♪ 70 00:02:58,931 --> 00:03:01,586 [Nora] Oh, my God, that is literally so fucking gross right now. 71 00:03:01,655 --> 00:03:05,482 [Grandma] No! Garbage Boy was so hot. 72 00:03:05,551 --> 00:03:08,758 All I wanted was to get his attention. 73 00:03:08,827 --> 00:03:11,965 ♪ Now, pretty baby, ooh ♪ 74 00:03:12,034 --> 00:03:13,758 ♪ Tell me ♪ 75 00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:18,068 ♪ Do you like what you see? 'Cause you know... ♪ 76 00:03:18,137 --> 00:03:20,310 You done with that milk? 77 00:03:20,379 --> 00:03:22,310 I am now. 78 00:03:22,379 --> 00:03:24,344 There's still a bit left. 79 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:28,965 ♪ Something's coming over me ♪ 80 00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:32,482 ♪ Is it love? ♪ 81 00:03:32,551 --> 00:03:35,000 Beautiful watch... 82 00:03:35,068 --> 00:03:37,275 ...for a beautiful girl.This old thing? 83 00:03:37,344 --> 00:03:39,862 It's a family heirloom, I just... 84 00:03:39,931 --> 00:03:43,482 [Grandma] And just like that, he took my breath away. 85 00:03:43,551 --> 00:03:47,724 I knew right then that I needed to be with that boy. 86 00:03:47,793 --> 00:03:49,758 [Nora] The kid that chugs your old milk? 87 00:03:49,827 --> 00:03:52,137 [Grandma] Oh, you sound like my mother. 88 00:03:52,206 --> 00:03:56,551 She completely disapproved of me dating Garbage Boy. 89 00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:59,103 [speaking Chinese] 90 00:04:01,896 --> 00:04:03,724 I don't wanna be with a rich boy. 91 00:04:03,793 --> 00:04:05,655 Garbage Boy is not trash! 92 00:04:05,724 --> 00:04:08,620 [speaking Chinese] 93 00:04:08,689 --> 00:04:10,586 Milk doesn't even expire. 94 00:04:10,655 --> 00:04:12,517 ♪♪ 95 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:16,965 [Grandma] But my mother's disapproval only made me want him more. 96 00:04:17,034 --> 00:04:18,413 ♪♪ 97 00:04:18,482 --> 00:04:21,413 Garbage Boy and I exchanged notes in secret. 98 00:04:24,724 --> 00:04:29,137 One day, I was able to sneak away for just long enough. 99 00:04:29,206 --> 00:04:32,137 [woman singing in Chinese] 100 00:04:32,206 --> 00:04:35,172 ♪♪ 101 00:04:39,689 --> 00:04:41,310 [Nora] That's a whole lotta lip there, Grandma. 102 00:04:41,379 --> 00:04:43,931 [Grandma, chucking] Yes, we didn't use tongue 103 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:47,000 because it wasn't of the era. 104 00:04:47,068 --> 00:04:49,655 So then y'all smashed, Had a couple babies. 105 00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:52,655 Here I am now, um... I gotta check my Weibo. 106 00:04:52,724 --> 00:04:55,034 Hey! This story's not over! 107 00:04:55,103 --> 00:04:58,655 Things were going really well. 108 00:04:58,724 --> 00:05:01,655 Until 1966. 109 00:05:01,724 --> 00:05:04,551 It was the start of the Cultural Revolution. 110 00:05:04,620 --> 00:05:07,758 A time when rich people and intellectuals were forced 111 00:05:07,827 --> 00:05:11,586 by the government to destroy any sign of wealth and status. 112 00:05:11,655 --> 00:05:15,482 Even though my family was wealthy and therefore targets, 113 00:05:15,551 --> 00:05:18,206 I still had other things on my mind. 114 00:05:18,275 --> 00:05:20,724 ♪♪ 115 00:05:29,827 --> 00:05:31,310 [gasps]What up, girl? 116 00:05:31,379 --> 00:05:32,758 It me, Shu Shu. 117 00:05:32,827 --> 00:05:35,862 [man, whispering] Shu Shu. 118 00:05:35,931 --> 00:05:37,758 [Nora] You mean, Shu Shu, Shu Shu? 119 00:05:37,827 --> 00:05:39,862 The one who couldn't go to Atlantic City? 120 00:05:39,931 --> 00:05:42,241 [Grandma] Yeah, my best friend from China. 121 00:05:42,310 --> 00:05:45,034 [wind gusting]We told each other everything. 122 00:05:45,103 --> 00:05:47,137 Hello, Best Friend Shu Shu. 123 00:05:47,206 --> 00:05:49,103 Sorry for the wide smile. 124 00:05:49,172 --> 00:05:51,586 I'm just... so in love. 125 00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:54,034 Oh, really? With who? 126 00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:57,034 The boy who takes out our garbage. 127 00:05:57,103 --> 00:05:59,103 [whispers] Garbage Boy. Oh, Garbage Boy. 128 00:05:59,172 --> 00:06:01,172 He is fine. Saw him rip apart 129 00:06:01,241 --> 00:06:04,103 a cardboard box once. No scissors, shit was sick. 130 00:06:04,172 --> 00:06:05,344 [sighs] 131 00:06:05,413 --> 00:06:08,137 Anyway, enough about me. How are you, Shu Shu? 132 00:06:08,206 --> 00:06:10,689 I'm in love, too.With who? 133 00:06:10,758 --> 00:06:13,310 Mao Zedong. 134 00:06:13,379 --> 00:06:15,793 Chairman Mao? Was he hot? 135 00:06:15,862 --> 00:06:17,172 Shu Shu thought so. 136 00:06:17,241 --> 00:06:19,034 Chairman Mao's so smart. 137 00:06:19,103 --> 00:06:21,034 He's got this awesome place out in the countryside 138 00:06:21,103 --> 00:06:23,000 called the village. Hmm. 139 00:06:23,068 --> 00:06:24,931 We're all going to be, like... 140 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:29,551 joining the working class, working the fields. 141 00:06:29,620 --> 00:06:31,931 It'll be rustic AF, bitch. 142 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,068 I don't know, I don't really like fields. 143 00:06:35,137 --> 00:06:38,034 You know, and the rows of plants really freak me out. 144 00:06:38,103 --> 00:06:41,655 Besides, the love of my life is here. 145 00:06:41,724 --> 00:06:44,620 Fine. Suit yourself. 146 00:06:44,689 --> 00:06:46,827 More rural "D" for me. 147 00:06:49,551 --> 00:06:53,000 [Grandma] Things would only get more complicated from there. 148 00:06:53,068 --> 00:06:56,655 My neighbors, the Chens, were caught with valuables. 149 00:06:56,724 --> 00:06:59,379 So the Red Guard, Mao's law enforcers 150 00:06:59,448 --> 00:07:02,931 made them leave the city to work in the countryside 151 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:06,172 which meant we had to throw away all our valuables. 152 00:07:06,241 --> 00:07:08,517 - [Nora] Everything? - [Grandma] Everything! 153 00:07:08,586 --> 00:07:12,344 Even the expensive China that was in our family for generations. 154 00:07:12,413 --> 00:07:15,586 My parents didn't want to show any signs of our wealth. 155 00:07:15,655 --> 00:07:19,103 Otherwise, we'd be forced to go to the deep countryside. 156 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,103 Work on a farm.[loud shattering] 157 00:07:21,172 --> 00:07:23,482 [Nora] Like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie did on "The Simple Life?" 158 00:07:23,551 --> 00:07:25,448 [Grandma] Yeah! Just like that! 159 00:07:25,517 --> 00:07:28,827 I didn't want to do it, but we had to. 160 00:07:28,896 --> 00:07:32,793 I just figured with more trash, comes more garbage. 161 00:07:32,862 --> 00:07:37,241 And with more garbage comes Garbage Boy. 162 00:07:37,310 --> 00:07:40,137 But still, we couldn't avoid the Red Guard. 163 00:07:40,206 --> 00:07:41,724 Is that a valuable wrist watch? 164 00:07:43,241 --> 00:07:45,931 No, no it's not.Destroy it at once! 165 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,793 You can't. Please, this is the one-- 166 00:07:48,862 --> 00:07:50,379 This is the one Garbage Boy complimented-- 167 00:07:50,448 --> 00:07:51,758 ♪♪ 168 00:07:51,827 --> 00:07:55,068 [distorted laughter] 169 00:07:55,137 --> 00:07:59,655 [moaning in slow motion] 170 00:07:59,724 --> 00:08:01,586 [glass shattering] 171 00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:06,103 [Grandma] And that wasn't the worst part. 172 00:08:06,172 --> 00:08:09,172 My refusal to immediately give up the watch 173 00:08:09,241 --> 00:08:11,482 was considered an act of defiance. 174 00:08:11,551 --> 00:08:13,655 We were now targets of Chairman Mao. 175 00:08:13,724 --> 00:08:15,689 We needed to flee. 176 00:08:15,758 --> 00:08:17,482 [shouting in Chinese] 177 00:08:17,551 --> 00:08:20,827 No, I can't! 178 00:08:20,896 --> 00:08:22,344 [whispers] Garbage Boy. 179 00:08:22,413 --> 00:08:24,000 [Grandma] My parents paid a local smuggler 180 00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:25,965 for safe passage to Hong Kong. 181 00:08:26,034 --> 00:08:28,724 And from there, we travelled to America. 182 00:08:28,793 --> 00:08:30,827 And we had to leave right away. 183 00:08:30,896 --> 00:08:33,068 But I couldn't go without telling Garbage Boy. 184 00:08:36,344 --> 00:08:38,172 [Nora] Wait! Wait-wait-wait! 185 00:08:38,241 --> 00:08:39,862 So you left and you never talked to him?! 186 00:08:39,931 --> 00:08:41,241 Did you get his number? 187 00:08:41,310 --> 00:08:43,379 [Grandma] Shh! Just listen. 188 00:08:43,448 --> 00:08:45,551 [rodent chittering] 189 00:08:45,620 --> 00:08:48,172 [wind gusting] 190 00:08:48,241 --> 00:08:51,206 ♪♪ 191 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,620 What happens next? 192 00:08:58,689 --> 00:09:00,655 Well... 193 00:09:00,724 --> 00:09:04,000 I met a new man... 194 00:09:04,068 --> 00:09:05,655 ...in America. 195 00:09:05,724 --> 00:09:08,000 [bird screeches]What?! 196 00:09:09,448 --> 00:09:11,620 [Grandma] I finally made it to New York City. 197 00:09:11,689 --> 00:09:14,931 I forged a nursing degree and soon had a job 198 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:18,034 at Flushing West Hospital where I made friends 199 00:09:18,103 --> 00:09:20,034 with other renowned immigrants. 200 00:09:20,103 --> 00:09:21,620 [exclaims] Another one bites the dust. 201 00:09:21,689 --> 00:09:22,689 What? 202 00:09:22,758 --> 00:09:24,758 Another eligible bachelor, married. 203 00:09:24,827 --> 00:09:26,724 Reading the wedding announcements again? 204 00:09:26,793 --> 00:09:28,517 Of course! A girl's got to find 205 00:09:28,586 --> 00:09:30,241 a man and a green card somehow. 206 00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:32,413 I was a diplomat in Haiti. 207 00:09:32,482 --> 00:09:34,241 I can't even get a second date here. 208 00:09:34,310 --> 00:09:35,551 America is crazy. 209 00:09:35,620 --> 00:09:38,241 He's a mailman. Spending that much money? 210 00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:40,172 [speaking Spanish] 211 00:09:40,241 --> 00:09:41,758 In Puerto Rico, he's what we call 212 00:09:41,827 --> 00:09:44,241 a squash that is showing off. 213 00:09:44,310 --> 00:09:47,275 Probably because he has a very small squash, hey? 214 00:09:47,344 --> 00:09:50,620 [all laughing] 215 00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:51,655 [sighing] 216 00:09:51,724 --> 00:09:52,827 How about you, Young Grandma? 217 00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,931 Is there anyone you've been eyeing? 218 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,896 No, not really. 219 00:09:56,965 --> 00:09:58,758 [Grandma] And then I saw him. 220 00:09:58,827 --> 00:10:00,827 ♪ Let's do this for real ♪ 221 00:10:00,896 --> 00:10:03,344 ♪♪ 222 00:10:03,413 --> 00:10:07,793 ♪ I know you wanna feel, baby ♪ 223 00:10:07,862 --> 00:10:10,172 ♪ Wanna take you off the grill ♪ 224 00:10:10,241 --> 00:10:12,655 ♪ Take for the chill ♪ 225 00:10:12,724 --> 00:10:15,206 ♪ Do this thing for real ♪ 226 00:10:15,275 --> 00:10:17,758 [man, whispering] Doc Hottie. 227 00:10:17,827 --> 00:10:20,103 ♪♪ 228 00:10:20,172 --> 00:10:22,586 It's very unsanitary. Yeah. 229 00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:25,068 But Grandma liked it. 230 00:10:25,137 --> 00:10:26,551 [Grandma] Over the next few weeks, 231 00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:30,103 Doc Hottie and I were inseparable. 232 00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:32,827 He had everything I could have wanted. 233 00:10:32,896 --> 00:10:35,724 Money, cars, charm. 234 00:10:35,793 --> 00:10:39,103 It was the American Dream. 235 00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:41,827 [Nora] Grandma, what kind of-- what kind of effects are these? 236 00:10:41,896 --> 00:10:44,655 [Grandma] It's a K Drama. We don't have the budget. 237 00:10:44,724 --> 00:10:46,275 [Nora] Who-- who is we? 238 00:10:46,344 --> 00:10:50,068 [Grandma] Everything was going splendidly... until... 239 00:10:50,137 --> 00:10:53,551 ♪♪ 240 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:56,551 Babe, aren't you gonna pick up your trash? 241 00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:57,724 Oh, don't worry about it, babe. 242 00:10:57,793 --> 00:11:00,448 Someone will pick it up, come on. 243 00:11:00,517 --> 00:11:02,103 ♪♪ 244 00:11:02,172 --> 00:11:05,758 Babe... babe. 245 00:11:05,827 --> 00:11:09,379 [echoing] Babe? Babe? 246 00:11:09,448 --> 00:11:11,586 Look at me. Ice cream's melting. Come on, babe. 247 00:11:11,655 --> 00:11:13,344 [woman] Look out. 248 00:11:13,413 --> 00:11:16,482 [all screaming]Oh, God, no! 249 00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:21,137 [piano keys striking, wood splintering] 250 00:11:21,206 --> 00:11:24,758 [Nora] A piano fell on his head? That didn't happen. 251 00:11:24,827 --> 00:11:26,896 It's real.Did Doc Hottie die? 252 00:11:26,965 --> 00:11:29,965 No, but something even worse happened. 253 00:11:30,034 --> 00:11:33,517 What?He survived. 254 00:11:33,586 --> 00:11:37,034 [gasping] 255 00:11:37,103 --> 00:11:39,275 Sweetie. 256 00:11:39,344 --> 00:11:41,931 Please don't be ugly. Please don't be ugly. 257 00:11:44,379 --> 00:11:46,620 [exhales] 258 00:11:46,689 --> 00:11:48,793 Oh, thank God. 259 00:11:48,862 --> 00:11:50,758 Who are you? 260 00:11:50,827 --> 00:11:52,551 It's me. 261 00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:54,862 Your girlfriend, Young Grandma. 262 00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:58,517 I don't-- I don't know why you are. 263 00:11:58,586 --> 00:12:00,103 ♪♪ 264 00:12:00,172 --> 00:12:01,896 [sighs deeply] 265 00:12:01,965 --> 00:12:04,758 [Grandma] Doc Hottie had amnesia. 266 00:12:04,827 --> 00:12:06,413 [gasps] Oh, my God! 267 00:12:06,482 --> 00:12:10,310 But all your piggyback rides? Viewing the State of Liberty? 268 00:12:10,379 --> 00:12:13,137 I know. It was horrible. 269 00:12:13,206 --> 00:12:16,137 [Grandma] I just wanted to get home and cry forever. 270 00:12:16,206 --> 00:12:18,344 ♪♪ 271 00:12:18,413 --> 00:12:20,758 58th and Main, please. 272 00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:24,068 Right the way, ma'am. 273 00:12:24,137 --> 00:12:25,655 Garbage Boy?! 274 00:12:25,724 --> 00:12:27,448 [Nora] What? He's in America now? 275 00:12:27,517 --> 00:12:29,413 But I thought your note flew away? 276 00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:32,344 [Grandma] Oh, it did. But it must've been fate. 277 00:12:32,413 --> 00:12:34,034 Or because the local smuggler 278 00:12:34,103 --> 00:12:36,482 always brought people into Queens first. 279 00:12:36,551 --> 00:12:39,034 Garbage Boy and I started talking 280 00:12:39,103 --> 00:12:41,379 like no time had passed. 281 00:12:41,448 --> 00:12:43,172 It was magical. 282 00:12:43,241 --> 00:12:46,275 We ended up spending the whole night together. 283 00:12:46,344 --> 00:12:47,586 [Nora] Doing what? 284 00:12:47,655 --> 00:12:49,689 - [Grandma] Just holding hands. - [Nora] No! 285 00:12:49,758 --> 00:12:51,655 [Grandma] We threaded our fingers, 286 00:12:51,724 --> 00:12:55,034 then moonwalked across each other's palms. 287 00:12:55,103 --> 00:12:57,862 We scissored so slowly. 288 00:12:57,931 --> 00:13:01,137 I did the "farting rocket into the hole." 289 00:13:01,206 --> 00:13:03,931 We slapped each other's hands till they were raw. 290 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,241 Up and down and up and down. 291 00:13:07,310 --> 00:13:10,413 Oh, Lord, Lord, he blew my mind! 292 00:13:12,344 --> 00:13:15,206 Grandma! You don't have to-- 293 00:13:15,275 --> 00:13:18,103 I don't need to see-- Grandma, stop![chuckles] 294 00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,344 It was a wonderful night. 295 00:13:20,413 --> 00:13:22,724 I couldn't wait to tell my friends. 296 00:13:22,793 --> 00:13:25,103 Oh, that is so romantic. 297 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:28,103 I'm so happy for you. What was his name again? 298 00:13:28,172 --> 00:13:29,620 Garbage Boy. 299 00:13:29,689 --> 00:13:31,655 Wait. Garbage Boy. 300 00:13:31,724 --> 00:13:35,034 I have heard that name. 301 00:13:35,103 --> 00:13:38,586 Oh! He is getting... married! 302 00:13:38,655 --> 00:13:41,413 Oh, hell no! 303 00:13:42,724 --> 00:13:43,931 What'd you do with that man slut Garbage Boy? 304 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,827 I mean, how did you get past that 305 00:13:45,896 --> 00:13:49,344 It was a dark time in my life. 306 00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:52,655 My only happiness was in this new hip flavor, 307 00:13:52,724 --> 00:13:55,965 Diet Neapolitan. 308 00:13:56,034 --> 00:13:58,586 I couldn't stop thinking about Garbage Boy. 309 00:13:58,655 --> 00:14:01,724 Everywhere I looked, there he was. 310 00:14:01,793 --> 00:14:04,344 And he called every day.[telephone ringing] 311 00:14:04,413 --> 00:14:06,689 [Nora] You didn't answer it, though, right, Grandma? 312 00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:08,827 'Cause-- 'cause fuck that dude, right? 313 00:14:08,896 --> 00:14:10,862 [Grandma] Exactly. Fuck that dude. 314 00:14:10,931 --> 00:14:14,517 [telephone ringing]But I'll admit, he was persistent. 315 00:14:14,586 --> 00:14:16,551 [knocking on door]I said I didn't-- 316 00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:20,275 Young Grandma. Doc Hottie. 317 00:14:20,344 --> 00:14:23,689 My memory's back. I'm cured of my amnesia. 318 00:14:23,758 --> 00:14:27,206 I remember our love. I remember everything. 319 00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:31,724 Let's get married. 320 00:14:31,793 --> 00:14:34,482 ♪♪ 321 00:14:34,551 --> 00:14:37,793 What? How many goddamn plot twists you got in this story, Grandma? 322 00:14:37,862 --> 00:14:42,275 ♪♪ 323 00:14:42,344 --> 00:14:44,172 You've been through a lot. 324 00:14:44,241 --> 00:14:46,172 Weeping because of my amnesia. 325 00:14:46,241 --> 00:14:48,689 You don't have to give me an answer now. 326 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,034 I'm going to the hospital. 327 00:14:53,103 --> 00:14:55,275 They're letting me do surgery again. 328 00:14:55,344 --> 00:14:59,758 This new procedure called... kidney transplant. 329 00:14:59,827 --> 00:15:01,551 Oh. 330 00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:03,000 Find me when you're ready. 331 00:15:05,103 --> 00:15:08,482 [Nora] Wow. So-- so you said yes, right? 332 00:15:08,551 --> 00:15:10,655 [Grandma] I didn't know what to do. 333 00:15:10,724 --> 00:15:12,827 Doc Hottie wanted to marry me, 334 00:15:12,896 --> 00:15:16,310 but I couldn't stop thinking about Garbage Boy. 335 00:15:16,379 --> 00:15:18,758 And Camren and Lehana were no help. 336 00:15:18,827 --> 00:15:21,103 Garbage Boy's the love of your life. 337 00:15:21,172 --> 00:15:22,724 You can stop his wedding. 338 00:15:22,793 --> 00:15:24,344 Ah, but Doc Hottie will hook you up. 339 00:15:24,413 --> 00:15:26,620 He's rich. Your parents adore him. 340 00:15:26,689 --> 00:15:28,241 It's a no brainer. Marry him. 341 00:15:28,310 --> 00:15:29,965 [Grandma] I was lost. 342 00:15:30,034 --> 00:15:32,448 Until guess who walked through the door. 343 00:15:32,517 --> 00:15:34,172 What up?[Nora] What?! 344 00:15:34,241 --> 00:15:36,586 It me, Shu Shu. 345 00:15:36,655 --> 00:15:39,275 In America![both laughing] 346 00:15:39,344 --> 00:15:41,344 Doop doop boop boop! 347 00:15:41,413 --> 00:15:42,724 [both, laughing] Boop! 348 00:15:42,793 --> 00:15:44,413 [Nora] How did Shu Shu get there? 349 00:15:44,482 --> 00:15:46,344 It was a crazy story. 350 00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:49,379 [spotlights switching on, dramatic music swelling] 351 00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:53,689 ♪♪ 352 00:15:53,758 --> 00:15:57,965 [Shu Shu] So, I stayed in China and ended up in the countryside. 353 00:15:58,034 --> 00:16:00,724 But I quickly learned that I did not belong there. 354 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:04,517 The work was hard. I did not like manual labor. 355 00:16:04,586 --> 00:16:07,517 And there were so many bugs. 356 00:16:07,586 --> 00:16:08,931 [thunder rumbling] 357 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,827 One, I got caught in a mudslide and was washed away. 358 00:16:12,896 --> 00:16:15,448 Even though I still loved Chairman Mao, 359 00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:18,655 I decided that I needed to get out of China. 360 00:16:18,724 --> 00:16:21,103 So I swam to Hong Kong. 361 00:16:21,172 --> 00:16:23,931 Almost getting eating by sharks along the way. 362 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,586 Nooo! 363 00:16:25,655 --> 00:16:28,586 And then I made it to New York. 364 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:32,275 So, that's my update. What about you? 365 00:16:32,344 --> 00:16:35,862 [Grandma] I told Shu Shu everything about Doc Hottie and Garbage Boy, 366 00:16:35,931 --> 00:16:40,000 except I didn't have puppets, so my story was way more boring. 367 00:16:40,068 --> 00:16:41,448 So what do I do? 368 00:16:41,517 --> 00:16:43,620 We did not come to this country to settle. 369 00:16:43,689 --> 00:16:45,413 I got washed in a mudslide 370 00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:47,241 and fought 75 sharks to get here. 371 00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:49,482 You are too hot and too smart 372 00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:52,517 to be anything less than the Plan "A" bitch you are. 373 00:16:52,586 --> 00:16:55,965 Yeah.So what do you want? 374 00:16:56,034 --> 00:16:58,551 ♪♪ 375 00:16:58,620 --> 00:17:02,344 Love. Then go... 376 00:17:02,413 --> 00:17:04,482 ...get... 377 00:17:04,551 --> 00:17:05,827 ...it. 378 00:17:05,896 --> 00:17:07,206 You're right. 379 00:17:07,275 --> 00:17:09,137 I'm gonna get what I want. 380 00:17:12,206 --> 00:17:14,000 Wait, so who are you gonna choose? 381 00:17:14,068 --> 00:17:15,827 Doctor Dick or Garbage Dick? 382 00:17:15,896 --> 00:17:19,655 Either way, get that nasty shit, girl! 383 00:17:19,724 --> 00:17:21,827 Doc Hottie. 384 00:17:21,896 --> 00:17:24,137 You came. I knew you would. 385 00:17:24,206 --> 00:17:26,379 Actually, I came be to give you this. 386 00:17:26,448 --> 00:17:27,793 Uh... 387 00:17:27,862 --> 00:17:30,724 Uh... 388 00:17:30,793 --> 00:17:33,689 Why?I think you're wonderful. 389 00:17:33,758 --> 00:17:36,793 And a doctor and for all the reasons why I should love you. 390 00:17:36,862 --> 00:17:38,689 I'm just in love with someone else. 391 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:41,689 But-- Sorry. 392 00:17:41,758 --> 00:17:43,206 No. I'm so sorry. 393 00:17:43,275 --> 00:17:46,103 Young Grandma... Young Grandma! 394 00:17:46,172 --> 00:17:49,137 [monitor flat-lining] 395 00:17:52,862 --> 00:17:54,827 Stop the wedding. 396 00:17:54,896 --> 00:17:57,206 Young Grandma. 397 00:17:57,275 --> 00:18:00,206 ♪♪ 398 00:18:00,275 --> 00:18:01,551 Ohh! 399 00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:03,241 It's not what it looks like. 400 00:18:03,310 --> 00:18:05,793 Oh, thank God.She's my sister. 401 00:18:05,862 --> 00:18:08,275 [both] What?! That's fuckin' gross. 402 00:18:08,344 --> 00:18:10,103 It's not what it is sounds like. 403 00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:11,827 My sister was sponsored to come to the States 404 00:18:11,896 --> 00:18:14,172 by the Lao family here. 405 00:18:14,241 --> 00:18:16,517 They were only allowed to sponsor their own family, though, 406 00:18:16,586 --> 00:18:18,275 so she lived here as their daughter. 407 00:18:18,344 --> 00:18:19,620 She even took on their last name. 408 00:18:19,689 --> 00:18:21,655 Then in order for me to come over, 409 00:18:21,724 --> 00:18:23,068 we were to be married. 410 00:18:23,137 --> 00:18:25,068 The marriage is just for citizenship, though. 411 00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,965 We're divorced immediately 412 00:18:27,034 --> 00:18:28,551 and then we'll be free to live our lives. 413 00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:30,896 Wow, that sounds like a really weird loophole. 414 00:18:30,965 --> 00:18:33,758 I know, but it's true. It's why I've been calling. 415 00:18:33,827 --> 00:18:36,379 Ever since that night, I've been trying to explain. 416 00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:38,344 Mmm-mm-mm, no! 417 00:18:38,413 --> 00:18:40,586 What could he possibly say to make this okay? 418 00:18:40,655 --> 00:18:43,310 Hold on. 419 00:18:43,379 --> 00:18:46,000 I've been meaning to give this back to you. 420 00:18:46,068 --> 00:18:48,965 Ohh! It's my watch. 421 00:18:49,034 --> 00:18:51,103 But it was completely trashed. 422 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:52,931 Not all trash is garbage. 423 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,931 [Nora] Oh, hell yeah, Garbage Boy! 424 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,793 After the Red Guard threw it away, 425 00:18:56,862 --> 00:18:58,310 I spent years fixing it. 426 00:18:58,379 --> 00:19:01,068 I knew that... I had to get it back to you. 427 00:19:01,137 --> 00:19:02,310 Where it belonged. 428 00:19:02,379 --> 00:19:05,827 A beautiful watch for a beautiful girl. 429 00:19:07,448 --> 00:19:09,344 Go marry your sister. 430 00:19:09,413 --> 00:19:12,275 ♪♪ 431 00:19:12,344 --> 00:19:16,034 [officiant] I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Lin. 432 00:19:16,103 --> 00:19:18,758 [cheering and applause] 433 00:19:18,827 --> 00:19:20,827 ♪♪ 434 00:19:25,689 --> 00:19:29,689 Garbage Boy was Grandpa? 435 00:19:29,758 --> 00:19:31,517 This was taken on my wedding day. 436 00:19:31,586 --> 00:19:33,620 Oh, wow. 437 00:19:33,689 --> 00:19:34,896 You know, I thought my life was hard. 438 00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:37,896 Well, life can be hard, but it's much easier 439 00:19:37,965 --> 00:19:40,137 when you have something you love. 440 00:19:40,206 --> 00:19:42,310 Yeah. 441 00:19:42,379 --> 00:19:45,310 All right, time for bed. 442 00:19:45,379 --> 00:19:47,620 And here. 443 00:19:47,689 --> 00:19:49,448 For being such a good listener, 444 00:19:49,517 --> 00:19:51,206 you can have your phone back. 445 00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:53,517 I-- I'm feeling I don't even need my phone. 446 00:19:53,586 --> 00:19:57,448 [Grandma chuckles]You know, that was a riveting tale. 447 00:19:57,517 --> 00:20:01,413 ♪♪ 448 00:20:01,482 --> 00:20:02,931 I love you, Grandma. 449 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,448 Good night, bao bao. I love you too. 450 00:20:11,448 --> 00:20:13,931 ♪ What up, y'all? It me, Shu Shu ♪ 451 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,275 ♪ Here's a little bit of old school for ya ♪ 452 00:20:16,344 --> 00:20:18,275 ♪ It goes a little something like this ♪ 453 00:20:18,344 --> 00:20:20,310 ♪ I always try to be the flyest chick on the block ♪ 454 00:20:20,379 --> 00:20:22,344 ♪ The best communist with the cattle stock ♪ 455 00:20:22,413 --> 00:20:24,620 ♪ So that's when I had this bright idea ♪ 456 00:20:24,689 --> 00:20:26,689 ♪ Hit the farm for a month, no, the farm for a year ♪ 457 00:20:26,758 --> 00:20:28,827 ♪ The farm is lit 'cause the party's here ♪ 458 00:20:28,896 --> 00:20:30,724 ♪ Making it rain like Chinese New Year ♪ 459 00:20:30,793 --> 00:20:32,862 ♪ Walking around like "Who's that woman?" ♪ 460 00:20:32,931 --> 00:20:34,793 ♪ Everybody do it like Shu Shu can ♪ 461 00:20:34,862 --> 00:20:36,758 ♪ First on the farm. you know that's me ♪ 462 00:20:36,827 --> 00:20:38,793 ♪ But then a mudslide like a freaking movie ♪ 463 00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:40,827 ♪ Wait, there are bugs now biting my head ♪ 464 00:20:40,896 --> 00:20:42,827 ♪ Then I knew this ain't cool, so this is what I said ♪ 465 00:20:42,896 --> 00:20:45,103 ♪ People, this is hella work ♪ 466 00:20:45,172 --> 00:20:46,862 ♪ Anyone got a plow? ♪ 467 00:20:46,931 --> 00:20:48,793 ♪ Shit, I really gotta leave ♪ 468 00:20:48,862 --> 00:20:51,206 ♪ What, huh, say it again ♪ 469 00:20:51,275 --> 00:20:53,344 ♪ Na na na na hey ♪ 470 00:20:53,413 --> 00:20:55,517 ♪ Na na na na oh ♪ 471 00:20:55,586 --> 00:20:59,379 ♪ Come on, here I go, ha ha, I'm over this ♪ 472 00:20:59,448 --> 00:21:01,551 ♪ Na na na na ♪ 473 00:21:01,620 --> 00:21:03,551 ♪ Na na na na ♪ 474 00:21:03,620 --> 00:21:05,689 ♪♪ 475 00:21:05,758 --> 00:21:07,517 ♪ Na ♪♪ 476 00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:14,103 ♪♪ 477 00:21:36,137 --> 00:21:38,068 [man] Who the [bleep] is Awkwafina? 33925

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