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Synced and corrected by LittleDuck
www.addic7ed.com
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S02E16 The Accident
Original air date March 6th 2018
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00:00:08,780 --> 00:00:09,940
MICKEY: What's going on, bud?
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00:00:09,970 --> 00:00:11,370
You love spaghetti à la Molng.
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00:00:11,410 --> 00:00:12,940
Troy's having a sleepover tonight,
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and I wasn't invited.
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Troy sounds like a dick.
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You want to have your own
sleepover and not invite him?
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I'll give you full access
to my movie collection.
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00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:21,400
And I mean full.
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00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:23,040
ALBA: Oh. Better yet,
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00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,840
let's invite Troy,
give him the wrong address.
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00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:27,180
- You know, send him to a real
nasty part of town. -MICKEY: Oh.
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00:00:27,210 --> 00:00:29,390
- Okay.
- BEN: There's no one to invite.
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00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:32,380
Troy invited every boy in class
except me.
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00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:34,090
- What?
- ALBA: Okay.
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00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,040
No big deal. We have our own fun.
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00:00:36,060 --> 00:00:37,690
I'm sorry, that's a very big deal.
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00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:39,560
Number one, it's extremely rude;
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00:00:39,590 --> 00:00:42,230
number two, uh, this is where
friendships are forged.
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00:00:42,260 --> 00:00:44,880
Yeah. You get cut now,
you're never coming back.
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00:00:44,910 --> 00:00:47,100
Okay, I think you are overreacting, no?
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00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:49,100
I think maybe you're underreacting.
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00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:52,200
When I was a kid, my friends
and I 86'd Marissa Fetter
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00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:53,580
because she got boobs before we did.
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00:00:53,610 --> 00:00:56,110
- Guess where she is now.
- Hooking? -Dead?
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00:00:57,540 --> 00:00:58,880
She's a dentist.
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00:00:58,910 --> 00:01:00,350
Don't dentists make a lot of money?
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That is not the point.
She has to spend her entire day
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00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,970
rooting around inside
other people's mouths. Gross.
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What am I gonna do?
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This is what we're gonna do.
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00:01:07,490 --> 00:01:08,850
You go get your jammies on.
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- You're going to a sleepover tonight.
- Come on.
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00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:12,790
(JIMMY CHUCKLES)
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00:01:13,130 --> 00:01:14,120
Troy.
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And did you check the jacket
you wore last night?
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Maybe it's in there.
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00:01:17,150 --> 00:01:18,520
It's not. I checked everywhere.
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00:01:18,550 --> 00:01:20,530
Well, they're not gonna
let you in without an ID.
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00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,600
I don't know what you want me
to do. It's not here.
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00:01:22,630 --> 00:01:24,810
Well, maybe Kelsey can pass hers back.
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00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:27,000
Yeah, okay. They're gonna
believe that I look like that?
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I don't know.
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00:01:28,460 --> 00:01:29,830
Maybe you guys
should just go without me.
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No, we can't go without you.
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Seriously, it's fine.
I can just chill at home.
48
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,610
No, I mean we literally
cannot get in without you.
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00:01:35,630 --> 00:01:37,940
Yeah. Fuji put your name on the list.
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00:01:37,980 --> 00:01:40,780
Okay, well, I-I don't know
what to tell you; it's not here.
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00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:42,220
Well, just keep looking, okay?
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We're not missing tonight.
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Okay, I get it!
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You hearing what I'm hearing?
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Sabrina lost her fake.
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00:01:48,570 --> 00:01:50,690
Ah, I know.
It's like, call off the search,
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just get naked already.
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00:01:52,230 --> 00:01:53,680
Dude, that's your sister.
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All right, whatever. I won't
look at that part of the screen.
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00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,520
You're missing the point.
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00:01:57,550 --> 00:02:00,030
I can make her an ID
just like the ones I made us.
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No way. I'm not doing her any favors.
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No, dude, we can use it as leverage
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00:02:05,130 --> 00:02:06,640
to force them to hang with us.
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Oh, snap.
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00:02:09,570 --> 00:02:11,540
Wait, that... that could just
take our siblingship
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00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:12,720
to the next level.
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00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:14,980
We could be as tight
as the frickin' Gyllenhaals.
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Damn, son, you scandalous, huh?
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(UPBEAT MUSIC)
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Troy's mom?
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- Hi, can I help you?
- Well, I certainly hope so.
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Um, I'm not sure how involved
you were with creating
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the guest list for tonight,
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but, uh, my nephew Ben Pemberton
got excluded.
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00:02:32,030 --> 00:02:35,070
Oh, no, I am so sorry about that.
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I bet you are, seeing as how
he was the only boy
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in the class not invited.
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Well, right, I...
and I feel horrible...
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- Do you? -...but you know,
Troy made the guest list,
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and I just invited everybody
on it. So you know...
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- and I wasn't expecting you...
- Me to call you out on it.
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(LAUGHS)
Oh, no! That's not even what...
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00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:50,740
No, you know what? You don't
have to explain yourself to me.
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I would love for you to explain
yourself to him though.
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- Uh... oh.
- I just don't feel like
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00:02:55,580 --> 00:02:57,230
breaking a little boy's heart today.
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All right, buddy. Have the best time.
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(QUIET) Don't screw this up.
(LOUD) It's gonna be such a blast.
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00:03:03,650 --> 00:03:04,880
Remember, if everybody's
doing something,
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- you do it, too.
- But what if I don't like it?
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We'll figure out whether or not
you like it tomorrow.
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Okay. You know what?
Just be yourself, all right?
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They're gonna love you.
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00:03:12,470 --> 00:03:15,940
And if they don't, pop this bad boy in.
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Simon Birch?
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00:03:17,610 --> 00:03:19,760
It's a decoy. You'll see.
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Now, go get 'em, tiger.
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- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Go away!
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- Hey, Sabrina.
- (SABRINA GROANS)
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Oh, sorry. Didn't know you had company.
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Yeah, you did.
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Amanda, Kelsey. Nice to see you again.
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00:03:32,050 --> 00:03:33,080
Have we met?
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00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,500
No. No, but I... but, you know,
I've seen you around.
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Chip, you're making everybody
uncomfortable.
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Get the hell out of my room!
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- We can make you fake IDs.
- What?
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Yeah. My boy makes sick
fake IDs. You guys need one?
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(SIGHS) You have got to stop
spying on me, dude.
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What? No. We-we weren't spying.
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We were just... He made a batch,
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and we were trying to be neighborly,
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but if you don't need them...
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Let me see it.
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"Chaz Pembrose, 6969 Park Avenue,
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born 6/9/69"?
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Chip, this makes you 48 years old.
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00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:07,410
Eh, but nobody's really doing
the math on that.
120
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:08,970
That's the only thing they're doing.
121
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,350
Wait, this one's even worse.
"Jaden Smith"?
122
00:04:11,380 --> 00:04:13,220
- What are you guys thinking?
- Okay, you know what?
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Just... forget it.
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Girls, have a nice night.
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Uh...
(SIGHS)
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Do they scan?
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00:04:19,730 --> 00:04:21,280
Of course they scan.
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00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:23,030
My boy's like frickin' Snowden.
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Okay, how much?
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00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:25,940
Ladies, please.
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00:04:26,030 --> 00:04:27,470
We don't want your money, we...
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we just want your company.
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00:04:28,870 --> 00:04:30,290
- Gross.
- What? - Ew.
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00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:31,480
No, no, no, no. Not like that. No.
135
00:04:31,510 --> 00:04:32,980
We just want to go
to the club with you guys.
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00:04:33,660 --> 00:04:35,150
Chip, we can't be seen
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00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:37,080
in public with you.
You have to know that.
138
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,460
Okay, we'll just send you guys
pictures from the dance floor.
139
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,020
- Oh, come on. - Just do it.
- Yeah, okay, fine.
140
00:04:42,050 --> 00:04:43,110
Deal.
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00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:44,870
You won't regret this.
142
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Yeah, I already do.
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00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,120
(PHONE VIBRATING)
144
00:04:52,430 --> 00:04:53,600
Hello?
145
00:04:53,630 --> 00:04:54,700
BEN: Mickey.
146
00:04:54,730 --> 00:04:56,010
I had an accident.
147
00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:57,330
Were you driving?
148
00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:58,730
- What?
- Hmm?
149
00:04:58,980 --> 00:05:00,080
Who is this?
150
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,120
It's Ben.
151
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:02,880
Ben?
152
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:04,770
Why are you calling me so late?
153
00:05:05,070 --> 00:05:06,380
I peed my bed.
154
00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:08,610
Oh, come on, man.
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I-I stuck my neck out for you.
156
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:11,780
This is your move?
157
00:05:11,810 --> 00:05:13,220
I was nervous.
158
00:05:13,460 --> 00:05:14,790
(GROANS)
Well...
159
00:05:14,820 --> 00:05:16,420
way to respond to pressure, buddy.
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00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,790
- Is this bad?
- It's not good.
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00:05:18,820 --> 00:05:20,020
Oh, who is that?
162
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Ben peed the bed.
163
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:23,090
Oh, that's it.
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00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:25,200
He might as well take a dump
on the front lawn.
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00:05:25,230 --> 00:05:26,460
- He's a goner.
- Mickey.
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00:05:26,540 --> 00:05:28,940
- What do I do?
- Just sit tight, okay?
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00:05:29,050 --> 00:05:30,480
I'm on my way. Don't wake anybody up.
168
00:05:30,540 --> 00:05:31,920
Definitely don't pee anymore.
169
00:05:31,950 --> 00:05:32,940
Please hurry.
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00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:33,970
Yes. I'm coming.
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00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,640
Okay, let's go. I will drive.
172
00:05:35,670 --> 00:05:37,770
- Where did you come from?
- I was listening in.
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00:05:37,810 --> 00:05:40,680
What?! Again? Alba,
come on, you can't do that!
174
00:05:40,710 --> 00:05:42,350
You can't listen in. Stop.
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00:05:42,380 --> 00:05:44,440
Why, uh, were you having sex
or something?
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00:05:44,460 --> 00:05:45,490
BOTH : No!
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00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,650
- Okay, what's the problem, then?
- I don't have time for this.
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00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,180
Let's just go, all right?
As soon as we get home,
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00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:51,850
- we're talking about boundaries.
- Shotgun.
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00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,880
- Shh! Shh.
- (WHISPERS): Geez.
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00:05:58,190 --> 00:05:59,470
ALBA: (WHISPERING) Okay.
182
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,600
So what is our mission objective?
183
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,250
There is no mission.
184
00:06:03,270 --> 00:06:04,910
We're not forming a ninja gang.
185
00:06:05,050 --> 00:06:07,470
We're delivering dry sheets
and pajamas to a child.
186
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,310
Okay, then, that would be
our mission objective.
187
00:06:09,450 --> 00:06:10,760
- What's my role in this?
- I-I don't know.
188
00:06:10,790 --> 00:06:11,859
Can you stop asking questions?
189
00:06:11,860 --> 00:06:13,189
We'll just figure it out as we go.
190
00:06:13,190 --> 00:06:14,590
Psst. Aunt Mickey, up here.
191
00:06:14,820 --> 00:06:17,260
Hey, buddy. Hey, I got dry PJs for you.
192
00:06:17,290 --> 00:06:19,360
Go ahead and toss me down your wet ones.
193
00:06:19,390 --> 00:06:20,890
- (YELPS, SPITS)
- Oh...
194
00:06:21,030 --> 00:06:22,190
Oh, no.
195
00:06:22,410 --> 00:06:23,540
Where's the heads-up?
196
00:06:23,570 --> 00:06:24,800
Sorry.
197
00:06:24,820 --> 00:06:27,320
It's cool. Okay.
Here come the dry ones.
198
00:06:27,350 --> 00:06:29,550
- Oh, no! No, no, no!
- Oh! -Ooh!
199
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:31,770
Get it off me! They're wet! (SPITS)
200
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,430
Sorry again.
201
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:34,930
I think those are the sheets.
202
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,340
Oh, you think so? You think so?
203
00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:37,860
Don't throw anything else, okay?
204
00:06:37,990 --> 00:06:39,250
You ready?
205
00:06:39,470 --> 00:06:40,440
(GRUNTS)
206
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:45,660
You should've let me throw it.
207
00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:47,070
Yeah.
208
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:51,030
(GRUNTS) There we go.
209
00:06:52,420 --> 00:06:53,850
Okay...
210
00:06:55,550 --> 00:06:57,180
(SIGHS)
211
00:06:57,210 --> 00:06:58,480
(WHISPERING): Okay.
212
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:00,440
Put on the fresh PJs.
213
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,580
Flip the mattress, change
the sheets, go back to sleep.
214
00:07:03,610 --> 00:07:06,090
I can't flip the mattress by myself.
215
00:07:08,450 --> 00:07:10,660
You're lucky you're cute,
because you're useless.
216
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,000
Move.
217
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:15,720
Here we go.
218
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:19,200
God, man, you really
weighed this thing down.
219
00:07:21,570 --> 00:07:22,740
(GASPS)
220
00:07:23,030 --> 00:07:23,940
Wha...?
221
00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:26,240
You peed through the whole thing?
222
00:07:26,390 --> 00:07:27,790
How is that even possible?
223
00:07:27,820 --> 00:07:29,380
I didn't mean to.
224
00:07:29,410 --> 00:07:31,860
Well, this changes things. Stay there.
225
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,050
Guys, psst!
226
00:07:35,070 --> 00:07:37,650
The mattress is toast.
He peed straight through it.
227
00:07:37,670 --> 00:07:39,150
- No!
- He cleared the whole thing?
228
00:07:39,180 --> 00:07:41,350
Yeah. We need to find a new one now.
229
00:07:41,610 --> 00:07:42,710
I'm on it.
230
00:07:42,740 --> 00:07:45,360
Wait, where are you going to find
a new mattress at this hour?
231
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,800
Oh, I didn't say it'd be new.
232
00:07:46,830 --> 00:07:49,080
Come on, climb up here. Come on up.
233
00:07:59,550 --> 00:08:01,480
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
234
00:08:01,870 --> 00:08:03,110
Y'all ready to get crunk?
235
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,320
Boom. Let's ride, chicken heads.
236
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,640
(LAUGHING) Oh, my God.
237
00:08:06,930 --> 00:08:09,400
What are you wearing? You guys
look like complete douche bags.
238
00:08:09,630 --> 00:08:12,270
Eh, agree to disagree, but we'll
talk about this in the limo.
239
00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:14,060
Okay. You are out of your mind
240
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,740
if you think we're showing up in a limo.
241
00:08:15,770 --> 00:08:16,860
Well, then you're out of your mind
242
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,500
- if you think you're showing up at all.
- Okay, just...
243
00:08:19,910 --> 00:08:22,180
relax. We just need
to make some adjustments
244
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,520
to whatever the hell this is.
245
00:08:23,740 --> 00:08:26,020
Eh. No, this outfit's fire.
246
00:08:27,420 --> 00:08:30,350
Would you guys ever hook up
with... let me rephrase that.
247
00:08:30,390 --> 00:08:33,480
Would you guys ever speak
to a guy dressed like this?
248
00:08:33,510 --> 00:08:34,380
(CHUCKLES)
249
00:08:34,410 --> 00:08:35,700
- God, no. - Not a chance.
-Yeah.
250
00:08:35,730 --> 00:08:36,930
Listen.
251
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,900
You're silently screaming out for help.
252
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:40,600
I can see it, okay?
253
00:08:40,630 --> 00:08:43,120
So just let me help you. Okay? Come on.
254
00:08:43,830 --> 00:08:46,870
- Y-You promise I'll look dope?
- I promise.
255
00:08:47,970 --> 00:08:50,510
I'll be whoever you want me to be.
256
00:09:01,450 --> 00:09:04,920
(WHISPERING)
Oh, yeah. That'll do.
257
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,680
Ay. O-Okay. It's a little higher
than I thought.
258
00:09:07,710 --> 00:09:09,680
Yeah, yeah, but you're fine,
just don't look down.
259
00:09:09,710 --> 00:09:10,910
Get over here.
260
00:09:10,940 --> 00:09:11,990
(ALBA PANTING)
261
00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:13,370
Okay.
262
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:14,880
(GRUNTS)
263
00:09:14,910 --> 00:09:16,060
Oh, geez.
264
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:17,940
Can you pull a little bit harder?
265
00:09:17,980 --> 00:09:20,540
Oh, you're one to talk with
your skinny little puppet arms.
266
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,550
(GRUNTS)
267
00:09:21,580 --> 00:09:22,860
Yes, yes, Alba.
268
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,550
(SNORING)
269
00:09:29,580 --> 00:09:31,530
(GRUNTING)
270
00:09:34,190 --> 00:09:35,390
Check that one.
271
00:09:35,420 --> 00:09:36,630
Check that one.
272
00:09:43,770 --> 00:09:45,060
- No?
- No? Okay.
273
00:09:45,090 --> 00:09:47,490
Okay, shh, shh. Nobody panic.
Nobody panic. All right, here.
274
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,220
Look. (GRUNTS)
275
00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:50,890
It's okay. It's okay. It's all right.
276
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:52,320
I got this.
277
00:09:52,930 --> 00:09:54,100
(LINE RINGING)
278
00:09:54,410 --> 00:09:55,400
JIMMY: What?
279
00:09:55,430 --> 00:09:56,880
What the hell is taking you so long?
280
00:09:56,910 --> 00:09:58,650
Hey, I'm doing the best I can, okay?
281
00:09:58,670 --> 00:10:00,690
I took the hard job.
You don't hear me complaining.
282
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:02,190
So I'll be there when I'm there.
283
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,580
Oh... (YELPS)
284
00:10:28,510 --> 00:10:29,760
That's not good.
285
00:10:30,140 --> 00:10:31,880
So what are we gonna do now?
286
00:10:31,910 --> 00:10:33,340
Well, we're not gonna panic, are we?
287
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,460
No, um...
288
00:10:35,650 --> 00:10:37,390
- You know what we're gonna do?
- Hmm?
289
00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:39,270
We're just gonna jump.
290
00:10:39,370 --> 00:10:40,590
Are you nuts?
291
00:10:40,610 --> 00:10:42,980
Do you want to spend the whole
night up here on this roof?
292
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:44,450
Oh, okay, fine.
293
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:47,200
Y-You jump off first without
dying, and then I will follow.
294
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:49,960
Okay.
295
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,930
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
296
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,050
No.
297
00:10:56,110 --> 00:10:57,330
(SIGHS)
298
00:10:58,740 --> 00:11:02,080
Unless... we've got something
to break our fall.
299
00:11:02,110 --> 00:11:04,100
You see, th-this is the thing about me
300
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:05,940
that nobody gives me credit for.
301
00:11:05,970 --> 00:11:08,840
I am a problem solver. Right?
302
00:11:09,620 --> 00:11:11,320
(GRUNTS)
303
00:11:14,150 --> 00:11:15,740
(DEEP BREATH)
304
00:11:16,690 --> 00:11:17,850
Hmm.
305
00:11:17,890 --> 00:11:20,240
ALBA: Okay. Go on.
306
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:22,820
- Yup.
- What are you waiting for?
307
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:24,290
I-I thought you said
it was no big deal?
308
00:11:24,310 --> 00:11:26,650
No, it's a big deal, you know,
'cause I'm jumping off a roof.
309
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:27,890
Oh, okay.
310
00:11:30,060 --> 00:11:33,770
- (SQUEALS, GROANS)
- ALBA: Ay!
311
00:11:34,150 --> 00:11:35,450
You okay?
312
00:11:35,690 --> 00:11:36,730
(GROANS)
313
00:11:37,340 --> 00:11:38,410
Yeah.
314
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:42,050
It was actually pretty fun.
You're gonna love it.
315
00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:44,910
No. No, thank you.
I sleep up here tonight.
316
00:11:44,930 --> 00:11:48,250
Got your mattress, Mick.
So you know what that means.
317
00:11:48,270 --> 00:11:49,940
That means, when we get home,
318
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,320
you going right downtown,
319
00:11:53,210 --> 00:11:55,510
because I am the mayor.
320
00:11:55,550 --> 00:11:58,250
- (MICKEY GASPS)
- (YELLS)
321
00:12:02,590 --> 00:12:04,370
Ooh.
322
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,020
(GASPING)
323
00:12:06,390 --> 00:12:07,560
Oh, my God.
324
00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:09,570
- Mick, are you okay?
- Yeah.
325
00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:10,940
I'm okay.
326
00:12:12,550 --> 00:12:13,880
That could be a problem.
327
00:12:15,810 --> 00:12:18,760
Well, now what are we gonna do?
That's a lot worse than a pee stain.
328
00:12:18,790 --> 00:12:19,950
Nah, it's not so bad.
329
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:21,740
It could be any number of brown things,
330
00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:25,700
- like chocolate or chili...
- Diarrhea.
331
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,740
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
332
00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:30,210
Yeah. I hadn't thought of that one.
333
00:12:30,230 --> 00:12:32,600
- This is definitely worse.
- ALBA: Uh, come on, way worse.
334
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:33,300
In the morning,
335
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,990
Ben is going to have a new nickname:
336
00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:36,980
"Brown Ben," "Ben the Butt..."
337
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:39,120
We only have a couple
hours until the sun comes up.
338
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,120
Can we just not waste it
by brainstorming poop nicknames?
339
00:12:42,260 --> 00:12:43,400
I don't know. This could work.
340
00:12:43,450 --> 00:12:45,660
I mean, Ben has some real
plausible deniability here.
341
00:12:45,690 --> 00:12:48,130
Diarrhea has a very specific scent.
342
00:12:48,260 --> 00:12:50,360
This mattress will not
pass the smell test.
343
00:12:50,390 --> 00:12:52,430
No, k-kids don't care about logic.
344
00:12:52,460 --> 00:12:54,400
To an eight-year-old,
brown equals diarrhea.
345
00:12:54,430 --> 00:12:55,730
That's-that's a fact.
346
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,690
All right, take it easy, okay?
I'm just trying to help.
347
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,230
Well, you're not doing a very good job.
348
00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:01,050
Do you have any idea what I went
through to get this mattress?
349
00:13:01,090 --> 00:13:01,840
What have you two done?
350
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,290
- You hit me with a car.
- I am stuck on a roof.
351
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:07,500
"Oh, you just hit me with
your car. I'm on a roof." Okay.
352
00:13:07,690 --> 00:13:10,010
Need I remind you, there is
a scared little boy up there
353
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,470
and he is staring down the barrel
354
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,790
of four years of dental school.
355
00:13:12,810 --> 00:13:15,210
Maybe he'll get lucky
and another boy will pee the bed
356
00:13:15,230 --> 00:13:17,000
and-and then Ben won't be
the only loser.
357
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,630
H-Hold on a second.
358
00:13:18,730 --> 00:13:20,470
What if it's not just one other boy?
359
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,180
What if they all wet their beds?
360
00:13:22,210 --> 00:13:25,080
Come on, Mick.
100% saturation, not a chance.
361
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:26,770
Well, you leave that to me.
362
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,630
First things first, help me
get this mattress inside.
363
00:13:28,660 --> 00:13:30,120
All right.
364
00:13:32,670 --> 00:13:34,560
What-what are you do...
what are you doing?
365
00:13:34,590 --> 00:13:36,490
I'm gonna break the window
so we can get back in.
366
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:37,600
You can't just smash a window.
367
00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:39,380
Don't you think that'll
raise a few questions?
368
00:13:39,430 --> 00:13:41,780
Well, you find a dead squirrel
and throw it in there after.
369
00:13:41,810 --> 00:13:43,880
Why would a squirrel
smash through the window?
370
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,670
I don't know, maybe 'cause
it's a flying squirrel.
371
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:48,200
And where are we gonna find
a dead flying squirrel?
372
00:13:48,230 --> 00:13:49,560
You don't have to.
373
00:13:49,750 --> 00:13:51,720
You just find a squirrel and a bird,
374
00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:53,180
then you glue them together.
375
00:13:53,210 --> 00:13:55,100
No one knows what
a flying squirrel looks like.
376
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:58,800
Well, I know it doesn't look
like a bird glued to a squirrel.
377
00:13:58,910 --> 00:14:00,760
Hey, guys. Get in here.
378
00:14:02,030 --> 00:14:03,820
Huh, that'll work, too.
379
00:14:06,290 --> 00:14:08,190
Hate to admit it,
but Sabrina was right.
380
00:14:08,220 --> 00:14:09,760
We look certified fresh.
381
00:14:09,790 --> 00:14:11,910
We're about to get so much tang,
it's ridiculous.
382
00:14:11,940 --> 00:14:14,530
All right, let's bounce, ladies.
Tang Twins are ready to go.
383
00:14:16,060 --> 00:14:17,110
Oh, no.
384
00:14:19,050 --> 00:14:20,500
Where'd they go?
385
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:22,060
The IDs.
386
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:24,570
Damn it.
387
00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:27,570
- They ditched us?
- That bitch.
388
00:14:27,820 --> 00:14:30,090
(ALL LAUGHING)
389
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,450
Your brother is such a loser.
390
00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:34,000
- How are you guys even related?
- Okay,
391
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:36,220
relax, okay? We're only half...
different dads.
392
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,680
- Oh, that makes sense.
- Yeah.
393
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,680
(PHONE RINGS)
394
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,520
Speak of the devil.
395
00:14:41,650 --> 00:14:43,140
Oh, hey, baby bro.
396
00:14:43,170 --> 00:14:45,180
Hey, Sabrina. Where'd you go?
397
00:14:45,210 --> 00:14:46,980
Well, it occurred to us
that showing up to the club
398
00:14:47,010 --> 00:14:48,850
with you guys would be
the most humiliating experience
399
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:51,350
of our lives, so we just decided
to leave you behind.
400
00:14:51,380 --> 00:14:53,320
And you know what?
I feel like I was way too hard
401
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:54,560
on the limo thing earlier.
402
00:14:54,590 --> 00:14:57,120
It is super douchey,
but we're very comfortable.
403
00:14:57,190 --> 00:14:59,190
That's so great. I'm so glad
you like it, Sabrina.
404
00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:02,100
Oh, or should I say "Harriet Tubman"?
405
00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:04,100
What?
406
00:15:04,130 --> 00:15:05,500
Check the ID.
407
00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,130
♪ Yeah ♪
408
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,820
♪ And, girl, it's okay... ♪
409
00:15:08,850 --> 00:15:10,880
(SABRINA GASPS) Oh...
410
00:15:11,140 --> 00:15:12,670
You son of a bitch.
411
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:13,810
We'll be outside.
412
00:15:18,410 --> 00:15:19,950
Welcome back, ladies.
413
00:15:21,030 --> 00:15:22,350
Do you have the ID?
414
00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:25,730
I do, but I'm gonna hang onto it
till we hit the club.
415
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:27,130
You understand.
416
00:15:32,590 --> 00:15:34,400
You guys mind
if I smoke a cigar in here?
417
00:15:34,420 --> 00:15:35,350
SABRINA: Yes.
418
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,130
JIMMY: Okay.
419
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:41,500
MICKEY: Okay.
420
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,100
All right. What's the plan?
421
00:15:45,650 --> 00:15:46,670
Easy.
422
00:15:46,710 --> 00:15:48,560
We're gonna pee all over these kids.
423
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:51,640
Um, Mick, I want to be a team player,
424
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:53,780
but my stream isn't what it used to be.
425
00:15:53,810 --> 00:15:55,500
I'm not talking about you, creep.
426
00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:58,580
Okay, Ben, you ready
to do what you do best?
427
00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:02,020
♪ ♪
428
00:16:02,050 --> 00:16:04,470
♪ I've been beat up my whole life ♪
429
00:16:04,490 --> 00:16:06,840
♪ I've been shot down,
kicked out twice ♪
430
00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:09,010
♪ Ain't no stoppin' me tonight ♪
431
00:16:09,030 --> 00:16:10,840
♪ I'm-a get all the things I like ♪
432
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,160
♪ I've been beat up my whole life ♪
433
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:15,210
♪ I've been shot down,
kicked out twice ♪
434
00:16:15,250 --> 00:16:17,400
♪ Ain't no stoppin' me tonight ♪
435
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,970
♪ I'm-a get all the things I like ♪
436
00:16:20,260 --> 00:16:22,420
♪ My... takin' over ♪
437
00:16:22,580 --> 00:16:24,320
♪ Brockhampton, call your mama ♪
438
00:16:24,580 --> 00:16:26,220
Hey, go back to bed, or I'll kill you.
439
00:16:26,260 --> 00:16:29,560
♪ Break neck, send you to the doctor ♪
440
00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:31,340
♪ Best boy band since One Direction ♪
441
00:16:31,540 --> 00:16:33,560
♪ Makin'... itch
like a skin infection ♪
442
00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:35,820
♪ Did me wrong like a perfect stepson ♪
443
00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:37,920
♪ Been a wrong,
you can change the song, hun ♪
444
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:39,740
♪ Who got me riled up? ♪
445
00:16:39,770 --> 00:16:41,970
♪ Who the lame...
want to talk 'bout us? ♪
446
00:16:42,010 --> 00:16:44,180
♪ Ooh, who got me riled up? ♪
447
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,300
♪ Who the lame...
want to talk 'bout us? ♪
448
00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:48,380
♪ Ooh, come get it from me ♪
449
00:16:48,410 --> 00:16:50,880
♪ Uh, come get it from me, uh ♪
450
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:53,700
♪ Come get it from me, uh, uh, uh ♪
451
00:16:54,290 --> 00:16:55,880
Shh. Shh.
452
00:16:55,910 --> 00:16:57,600
♪ Break necks, I'm the chiropractor. ♪
453
00:16:57,620 --> 00:17:00,660
All right, buddy.
Have fun at your sleepover.
454
00:17:00,740 --> 00:17:02,960
We'll be back to pick you up
in about 40 minutes.
455
00:17:02,990 --> 00:17:04,400
Thanks, guys.
456
00:17:17,430 --> 00:17:19,970
You, uh, you-you girls look
really hot tonight.
457
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,000
CHIP: Listen, sis.
458
00:17:23,130 --> 00:17:24,800
Before we go pop bub in this club,
459
00:17:24,830 --> 00:17:26,740
and I give you this sweet ID,
460
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:28,550
I'd like to offer you a truce.
461
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:29,870
(QUIETLY): Oh, God.
462
00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:31,340
I think we can both admit
463
00:17:31,370 --> 00:17:33,450
that you've grossly underestimated me.
464
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,779
And if tonight has shown us
anything after all these years,
465
00:17:35,780 --> 00:17:37,940
it's that we're finally
on equal footing.
466
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,400
I just want to make sure that
when we roll up in this club,
467
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:42,020
we're not going
just as brother and sister,
468
00:17:42,050 --> 00:17:44,580
but, you know, as... as best friends.
469
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:47,490
Now, will you be my roll dog?
470
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:49,190
The Maggie to my Jake?
471
00:17:49,220 --> 00:17:51,280
Sure, Chip.
472
00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:52,450
Yeah, sure.
473
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,330
"Chip"? Uh, I'm sorry,
I don't think I know a Chip.
474
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:56,990
I-I do know a Chaz.
475
00:17:57,020 --> 00:17:58,230
Okay, you know what, Chaz?
476
00:17:58,270 --> 00:18:00,440
We're here, so how about
you just give me my ID?
477
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:01,500
No problem.
478
00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:04,950
Uh... but first,
can I get a "what, what"?
479
00:18:04,970 --> 00:18:06,340
(QUIETLY): What, what.
480
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:07,840
What was that?
481
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,280
- What, what!
- That's my girl.
482
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:12,550
Let's go party our frickin'
balls off, huh?
483
00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:15,320
♪ Oh, all of a sudden,
you're a bad ... ♪
484
00:18:15,350 --> 00:18:18,190
♪ Just got a fat ass like it's magic ♪
485
00:18:18,220 --> 00:18:20,350
♪ And now you're trying
to shake it like ratchet ♪
486
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:23,430
♪ I'm guessing they must
call you "Go, Gadget" ♪
487
00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:26,360
♪ Oh, all of a sudden,
you're a bad ... ♪
488
00:18:26,390 --> 00:18:29,020
♪ Just got a fat ass like it's magic ♪
489
00:18:29,580 --> 00:18:31,570
♪ And now you're trying
to shake it like ratchet ♪
490
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:33,530
♪ I'm guessing they must
call you "Go, Gadget" ♪
491
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:40,880
♪ Whoo... ♪
492
00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:59,630
Dude. Those are our girls.
What are you doing?
493
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:00,860
Sorry, man.
494
00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:02,040
We're at capacity.
495
00:19:02,060 --> 00:19:04,130
All right, well, we got IDs.
496
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,690
Yeah, they scan and everything.
497
00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:08,440
An adult would never say that.
498
00:19:08,460 --> 00:19:09,830
But those girls are underage, too.
499
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:11,970
Who cares?
500
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:13,540
Sorry.
501
00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:15,080
Chaz Pembrose,
502
00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:18,000
I'm afraid you and, uh, Jaden Smith...
503
00:19:18,980 --> 00:19:20,380
You Jaden Smith?
504
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:23,390
- Yes.
- Oh! Jaden Smith in the building.
505
00:19:23,420 --> 00:19:25,420
I see you, son. Go ahead, man. Uh...
506
00:19:25,450 --> 00:19:28,100
- I'm his money manager.
- No, you're not.
507
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:29,990
You know what? That's fine.
I don't need this.
508
00:19:30,020 --> 00:19:32,090
I got my stretch limmy waiting
and everything, so...
509
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:34,400
No! No, no! Hey!
510
00:19:34,430 --> 00:19:36,430
(BOTH GRUNTING)
511
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:39,310
(SIGHS)
512
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,970
I'm not proud
of what happened here tonight,
513
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,740
but we did what we needed to do.
514
00:19:44,770 --> 00:19:46,640
Yeah. Yeah, I've always said,
you got to break the law
515
00:19:46,670 --> 00:19:47,840
to do the right thing.
516
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,310
Yeah, we did that. We got a couple.
517
00:19:49,340 --> 00:19:51,070
Breaking and entering, larceny.
518
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:52,460
I don't know what they tag you with
519
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,980
when you pee all over
a bunch of sleeping kids.
520
00:19:54,010 --> 00:19:55,150
Uh, that's assault.
521
00:19:55,180 --> 00:19:56,580
Assault, right.
522
00:19:58,190 --> 00:19:59,690
Oh, excuse me.
523
00:19:59,930 --> 00:20:02,360
- Oh, it's you.
- Hey.
524
00:20:02,380 --> 00:20:04,850
Troy's mom. Top of the morning to you.
525
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:06,940
It's 6:00 a.m.
What-what are you doing here?
526
00:20:07,060 --> 00:20:09,160
- Uh...
- Oh, we never left.
527
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,930
Nah, we been tooling around your roof,
528
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,000
and all over your property
pretty much the entire night.
529
00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:15,640
Uh...
530
00:20:15,670 --> 00:20:17,270
(LAUGHING): I'm kidding.
We're here to pick up Ben.
531
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:18,980
Can you go wake him up for us, please?
532
00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:21,050
Actually, they're already up,
they... It's weird.
533
00:20:21,070 --> 00:20:22,980
They all wet their beds last night.
534
00:20:23,010 --> 00:20:24,570
- Every single one of them?
- Yeah.
535
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:25,880
- That's really strange.
- Weird.
536
00:20:25,910 --> 00:20:28,450
What'd you, feed them all soup?
(LAUGHS)
537
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,600
- Aunt Mickey, guess what,
guess what, guess what. - What?
538
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:33,220
We're all gonna pee
at Aiden's house next weekend.
539
00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:35,160
- Are you serious?
- Yeah, they-they were all
540
00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:36,830
pretty upset at first, but then,
541
00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:38,960
Ben insisted they were "pee brothers"?
542
00:20:38,990 --> 00:20:41,120
A-And they seemed to have
really bonded over it, so...
543
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:42,950
That is terrific.
544
00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:44,770
- Pee brothers. I like that.
- Yeah.
545
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,000
Good job, buddy.
546
00:20:46,030 --> 00:20:48,090
All right, let's go.
What do you say to Troy's mom?
547
00:20:48,110 --> 00:20:49,650
Thanks for letting us pee in your house.
548
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,420
- Oh. You're welcome.
- Good boy.
549
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:52,870
Hop on in.
550
00:20:53,980 --> 00:20:55,260
- Watch those piggies.
- (CAR DOORS CLOSING)
551
00:20:55,290 --> 00:20:57,240
Such a strange family.
552
00:21:13,820 --> 00:21:16,360
Synced and corrected by LittleDuck
www.addic7ed.com
40189
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