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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
2
00:01:17,321 --> 00:01:20,040
Give me my Romeo, and when he shall die,
3
00:01:20,140 --> 00:01:22,998
take him and cut him
out to little stars -
4
00:01:23,321 --> 00:01:25,785
and he'll make the
face of heaven so fine.
5
00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:28,900
And all the world will be
in love with the night -
6
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,000
Mystical: Shake Ya Ass (Background Music)
7
00:01:31,481 --> 00:01:35,348
and... make the face of
heaven so fine that all...
8
00:01:35,448 --> 00:01:37,670
the world will be in love....
9
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:42,000
Mystical: Shake Ya Ass (Background Music)
10
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,194
... all the world will be
in love with the night...
11
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,919
Excuse me! Excuse me!
12
00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:01,795
- Woody, will you turn that down?
- Sorry, I can't hear you!
13
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,798
Turn the noise down!
14
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:06,759
Sorry, did you say something?
15
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,635
I'm trying to study but it's impossible
with that racket going on!
16
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,378
- It's not racket, that's Mystical!
17
00:02:12,478 --> 00:02:14,515
Whatever it is, will you
please switch it off?
18
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:17,837
- What's it worth?
- The gratitude of a music lover?
19
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:22,198
Alright, I turn it off!
20
00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:26,147
If you flash me! Show me
what girls are all about!
21
00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:27,155
You are a pig!
22
00:02:28,319 --> 00:02:30,992
- Anyway, I've seen them before!
- What! You have not!
23
00:02:40,839 --> 00:02:41,794
Have now!
24
00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:49,630
Good morning, Mr. Fluffy.
25
00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:54,229
- Woody, are you up yet?
- Oh, yeah!
26
00:03:02,159 --> 00:03:05,309
- Good morning, Daddy!
- I have some mail for you, princess.
27
00:03:05,878 --> 00:03:07,550
It's from Yale!
28
00:03:12,678 --> 00:03:14,305
I have an interview next week!
29
00:03:14,405 --> 00:03:16,557
I applied for early
action for you, honey!
30
00:03:16,758 --> 00:03:18,146
My precious little
girl are going to Yale!
31
00:03:18,246 --> 00:03:19,830
I have to get through the
interview first, mother!
32
00:03:20,038 --> 00:03:23,508
- You won't let us down, never have.
- Never has.
33
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:26,474
- Isn't it exciting, Ted?
- It's very excititing, Katherine.
34
00:03:26,678 --> 00:03:29,431
- Are you excited?
- I am.
35
00:03:30,118 --> 00:03:34,236
I'm so excited I could yell it
from the roof tops!
36
00:03:38,438 --> 00:03:40,068
Thank you, mother!
37
00:03:40,168 --> 00:03:42,788
Bachman Turner Overdrive:
You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet (Background Music)
38
00:03:42,888 --> 00:03:44,959
Bachman Turner Overdrive:
You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet (Background Music)
39
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:45,800
Everything OK back there?
40
00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:46,417
No problem, honey.
41
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:48,997
Just searing off a
couple of finger prints.
42
00:03:49,097 --> 00:03:50,396
Carry on, my good woman.
43
00:03:53,957 --> 00:03:56,471
- Big game's coming up soon, son?
- Yep!
44
00:03:57,517 --> 00:04:01,396
Coach says all the big college scouts
gonna be at the game.
45
00:04:01,496 --> 00:04:02,297
Yeah, I know.
46
00:04:02,397 --> 00:04:06,834
Speciality of the House! I call
it 'Eggs What the Heck'
47
00:04:07,797 --> 00:04:11,233
So much of fine cuisine is down to
presentation, don't you think, son?
48
00:04:11,437 --> 00:04:13,189
Oh yeah, absolutely!
49
00:04:13,517 --> 00:04:17,988
You'll be the first member of
my family to go to college.
50
00:04:18,197 --> 00:04:21,712
He'll be the first member of your
family to go to freaking school!
51
00:04:22,117 --> 00:04:23,709
That's true.
52
00:04:24,237 --> 00:04:28,468
But son, if thing's don't work out,
there'll always be a job for you -
53
00:04:28,676 --> 00:04:31,190
with Stan the Man at Spatula World.
54
00:04:38,316 --> 00:04:40,445
- To me, the greatest
living American should...
55
00:04:40,545 --> 00:04:42,025
have individual accomplishments -
56
00:04:42,236 --> 00:04:46,195
but also have a lasting influcence
on America and with the world.
57
00:04:46,396 --> 00:04:51,151
And that is why after careful
consideration my candidate...
58
00:05:00,476 --> 00:05:02,512
- Yo, what's up boy?
- Hi, Horse!
59
00:05:04,276 --> 00:05:07,791
- Nice grab, Horse! How's it hanging?
- To the floor, my friend!
60
00:05:08,236 --> 00:05:10,510
What say we shift this
baby into warp drive, huh?
61
00:05:11,555 --> 00:05:13,501
I want you to feel the
wind blowing through...
62
00:05:13,601 --> 00:05:15,070
the hair of your fine muscular ass!
63
00:05:17,715 --> 00:05:19,433
Hit it please!
64
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:25,000
Eminem: Without Me
65
00:05:46,835 --> 00:05:48,507
Well, looky here!
66
00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:51,659
Is that not a pencil necked
virigin girl I see before me?
67
00:05:51,759 --> 00:05:52,673
I do believe it is.
68
00:05:53,114 --> 00:05:57,124
She's standing dangerously close
to a vast pool of water.
69
00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:59,834
For a smart girl, that ain't so smart.
70
00:06:40,953 --> 00:06:42,227
Thank you!
71
00:06:46,553 --> 00:06:48,783
OK, just keep walking.
72
00:06:49,233 --> 00:06:50,985
No one will notice.
73
00:06:52,793 --> 00:06:54,863
Who wants cotton candy?
74
00:06:59,433 --> 00:07:02,152
Hey, Nell, I love what you've
done with your hair!
75
00:07:02,353 --> 00:07:04,913
Thanks, Glixen.
76
00:07:15,793 --> 00:07:18,864
Three, two one...
77
00:07:19,632 --> 00:07:21,065
Hey, watch it!
78
00:07:24,192 --> 00:07:25,511
- Harry!
- What's up baby!
79
00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:27,350
Wow wow, people around!
80
00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:36,749
Nice look!
81
00:07:36,992 --> 00:07:39,745
Special needs boy and his muse,
the lovely Clamydia.
82
00:07:39,952 --> 00:07:41,624
My name's Breanna, you geek!
83
00:07:42,912 --> 00:07:44,804
By the way, sorry about
this morning.
84
00:07:44,904 --> 00:07:46,507
That puddle just...
showed up in front of us!
85
00:07:46,712 --> 00:07:49,943
Oh, that's OK, please don't
apologize it, I understand.
86
00:07:51,192 --> 00:07:53,948
While archetypal outsiders
such as myself...
87
00:07:54,048 --> 00:07:57,506
rarely fit comfortably into
high school environements -
88
00:07:57,712 --> 00:08:00,908
this is as good as your life will get.
89
00:08:01,111 --> 00:08:03,938
The big football star and his
vacuous cheerleader girlfriend...
90
00:08:04,038 --> 00:08:04,740
Head cheerleader.
91
00:08:06,511 --> 00:08:09,142
Because, let's face it.
The old gray matter...
92
00:08:09,242 --> 00:08:11,426
ain't exactly top level, is it Woodster?
93
00:08:11,631 --> 00:08:15,067
So you end up with
a job with your dad -
94
00:08:15,271 --> 00:08:17,626
and probably marry Breanna here.
95
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:21,710
But soon you start drinking to numb
this aching feeling you have inside.
96
00:08:21,911 --> 00:08:24,103
Fast forward a few years
and you're a drunk...
97
00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:26,541
fat guy at a bar talking
about the good old days.
98
00:08:26,751 --> 00:08:30,426
While your little wife whose
looks have gone to the dodo -
99
00:08:30,631 --> 00:08:33,552
is prepping up her self
esteem with squalid...
100
00:08:33,652 --> 00:08:37,025
sexual encounters with your
friends behind your back.
101
00:08:38,791 --> 00:08:41,463
- What friends?
- I'm guessing most of them.
102
00:08:42,950 --> 00:08:44,349
Have a good day.
103
00:08:45,550 --> 00:08:48,691
Class, please turn to
page 488. Paragraph...
104
00:08:48,791 --> 00:08:50,544
demarked 'Early history' -
105
00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:54,220
which reads: 'Combined
with the study of mankind -
106
00:08:54,430 --> 00:08:57,740
in all its aspects,
especially human culture -
107
00:08:57,950 --> 00:09:01,765
we are therefore examining
that society through...
108
00:09:01,865 --> 00:09:04,788
the exploration of classical structure.'
109
00:09:05,390 --> 00:09:10,339
Now, do not forget to make full use
of your abstract database.
110
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,132
And class, please make
sure the references of...
111
00:09:13,232 --> 00:09:15,340
the source material
include the internet.
112
00:09:22,230 --> 00:09:23,218
That's OK for now but -
113
00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:27,342
you might want to omit that
page from your reference list.
114
00:09:27,549 --> 00:09:31,019
Now, Mr. Zbornak will be taking
your field trip this week.
115
00:09:33,029 --> 00:09:36,419
I tried on the most
amazing dress for the dance.
116
00:09:36,629 --> 00:09:41,259
Think Beyonce's wow-factor meets Gwen
Stefani's outfit of individuality -
117
00:09:41,469 --> 00:09:43,903
with just a sprinkling
of designer slut Aguilera.
118
00:09:44,109 --> 00:09:46,296
The whole thing's very
Madonna...
119
00:09:46,396 --> 00:09:47,465
before she got old naturally.
120
00:09:47,669 --> 00:09:49,227
Sounds hot!
121
00:09:49,709 --> 00:09:52,012
Now, I think Armani
would be good for you.
122
00:09:52,112 --> 00:09:53,463
Stylish yet understated -
123
00:09:53,669 --> 00:09:56,388
so you look good but you don't
distract attention from me.
124
00:09:58,789 --> 00:10:00,754
Mr Deanne! If it's
not too much trouble?
125
00:10:00,854 --> 00:10:01,667
OK, just a minute!
126
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:10,820
Take a look at this odd looking fella!
127
00:10:11,548 --> 00:10:14,062
Texcatlipoca -
128
00:10:14,268 --> 00:10:17,233
the ancient Aztek god
of sorcery. Associated...
129
00:10:17,333 --> 00:10:18,944
with the notion of destiny.
130
00:10:19,148 --> 00:10:21,582
Tex here has an interesting resume:
131
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:25,098
He was the god of night,
lord of the smoking mirror.
132
00:10:25,508 --> 00:10:27,783
A shape shifter -
133
00:10:28,348 --> 00:10:30,578
a powerful SOB.
134
00:10:30,988 --> 00:10:34,867
Mr Deanne, do you think I might
have your attention?
135
00:10:35,348 --> 00:10:38,897
Or does Mr. Horson have something
particularly interesting to say?
136
00:10:39,188 --> 00:10:41,986
I'm betting on unlikely.
137
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,529
OK, time is short,
people. I want you to...
138
00:10:45,629 --> 00:10:47,783
pair off and take in
the rest yourselves.
139
00:10:47,987 --> 00:10:50,217
Remember: research,
140
00:10:50,427 --> 00:10:51,780
analyze and...
141
00:10:51,987 --> 00:10:53,056
...describe!
142
00:10:53,267 --> 00:10:54,746
Very nice.
143
00:10:58,547 --> 00:11:03,143
Mr Horson, you go with Glixen.
Mr Deanne, you go with Miss Bedworth.
144
00:11:05,307 --> 00:11:07,377
Let's get your learn on.
145
00:11:09,187 --> 00:11:11,576
So, checked out any
porno sites lately?
146
00:11:11,787 --> 00:11:13,851
I cannot believe I'm
stuck with you. Let's...
147
00:11:13,951 --> 00:11:15,746
hope I don't breathe
in any retard germs.
148
00:11:15,947 --> 00:11:19,223
Let's hope I don't get any
pencil neck virgin disease.
149
00:11:19,323 --> 00:11:19,986
Get stuffed.
150
00:11:20,507 --> 00:11:21,203
I hate you!
151
00:11:21,303 --> 00:11:24,182
It's because you secretly
want to have sex with me!
152
00:11:25,107 --> 00:11:27,257
When I do decide to surrender
the flower of my womanhood -
153
00:11:27,467 --> 00:11:29,662
I've always imagined it to be with
someone of my own species!
154
00:11:29,867 --> 00:11:32,664
There's is nobody else in your
species, except maybe Glixen.
155
00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:34,366
You're such a moron.
You really think...
156
00:11:34,466 --> 00:11:36,039
the world evolves around
rap music, football
157
00:11:36,139 --> 00:11:37,526
and hanging out with the right crowd?
158
00:11:37,626 --> 00:11:40,743
You know, you make me sick, you think
you are so different to everyone else.
159
00:11:40,946 --> 00:11:42,504
Different from.
160
00:11:42,706 --> 00:11:45,823
You said 'Different to'. The correct
phraseology is 'Different from'.
161
00:11:46,026 --> 00:11:48,255
Thanks for that information.
You're no different...
162
00:11:48,355 --> 00:11:50,497
from any other geek with
books instead of friends -
163
00:11:50,706 --> 00:11:52,936
and you don't have to open
your big fat mouth to correct me.
164
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,023
- Neanderthal!
- Spaz.
165
00:11:55,746 --> 00:11:58,101
I should pity you but I can't.
I hate you too much.
166
00:11:58,306 --> 00:12:00,206
I rather cross my legs for
the rest of the night...
167
00:12:00,306 --> 00:12:01,901
for everybody than to
be anything like you!
168
00:12:03,346 --> 00:12:05,860
- Dito!
- 'Dito'?
169
00:12:06,986 --> 00:12:07,941
Double dito!
170
00:12:08,146 --> 00:12:10,819
Double double dito times a
thousand trillions!
171
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:39,300
'... and forever more shall find
her destiny to live alone no more.'
172
00:12:42,265 --> 00:12:44,495
Good night, Mr. Fluffy.
173
00:13:27,544 --> 00:13:29,341
Oh God, my head...
174
00:13:30,344 --> 00:13:32,574
I must be dreaming. Time to wake up.
175
00:13:33,424 --> 00:13:34,743
What was that?
176
00:13:35,744 --> 00:13:37,017
Tits!
177
00:13:37,223 --> 00:13:40,181
I have tits. Two tits!
178
00:13:40,623 --> 00:13:44,662
This is the regular number of tits
but for a guy? What's going on here?
179
00:13:46,063 --> 00:13:47,655
Oh my god, it's gone!
180
00:13:52,663 --> 00:13:54,540
This looks bad. If it's
gone and I have tits -
181
00:13:56,263 --> 00:13:57,491
that means this must be a dream.
182
00:13:57,863 --> 00:14:00,980
A very very bad 'Now I have tits' dream.
183
00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:07,572
What is this?
184
00:14:09,903 --> 00:14:11,302
This isn't my room!
185
00:14:19,182 --> 00:14:20,661
We need to talk!
186
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:24,815
Talk? She want's to talk?
187
00:14:25,902 --> 00:14:27,870
Let's talk about why I'm
going through a drawer...
188
00:14:27,970 --> 00:14:30,100
full of underwear with the
days of the week on them. !
189
00:14:31,182 --> 00:14:32,854
Oh God!
190
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:39,420
OK, now my pubes knows it Wednesday!
191
00:14:46,742 --> 00:14:49,051
It's tough enough getting
these damn things off!
192
00:14:51,022 --> 00:14:54,173
How the hell does anyone
get these things on?
193
00:14:58,142 --> 00:15:01,656
Ladies, looks like you and
me is going au naturelle.
194
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,735
Go away!
195
00:15:07,421 --> 00:15:09,218
Alright, coast is clear.
196
00:15:15,741 --> 00:15:17,459
Get off.
197
00:15:28,421 --> 00:15:30,093
Good morning!
198
00:15:30,781 --> 00:15:34,251
- Nell, is everything OK?
- I didn't see you there!
199
00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:37,974
- Your oatmeal is on the table.
- I'm in a hurry, gotta go.
200
00:15:38,181 --> 00:15:42,299
Nonsense, now you sit down, it's
the most important meal of the day.
201
00:15:42,501 --> 00:15:46,698
And oatmel is wonderful for promoting
healthy and regular bowel movements.
202
00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:49,653
That's cool if I want to take
a dump the size of my head.
203
00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:50,935
Excuse me?
204
00:15:52,460 --> 00:15:54,132
Oatmeal's good, mummy.
205
00:15:55,000 --> 00:16:00,000
Deep Purple: Hush
206
00:16:00,740 --> 00:16:02,731
Is this meat?
207
00:16:04,220 --> 00:16:07,451
- You have oatmeal?
- Are you shitting me?
208
00:16:09,780 --> 00:16:12,658
- Porkmeat's good.
- Eat up, son
209
00:16:25,779 --> 00:16:27,929
Jesus, I'm gonna puke.
210
00:16:40,579 --> 00:16:44,288
Golly, you must have been hungry.
211
00:16:44,499 --> 00:16:46,296
You need a second helping.
You wait there, young lady!
212
00:16:56,139 --> 00:16:57,970
How's it going, pretty boy?
213
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,213
Let's go!
214
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:05,130
It will turn you into
a big strong girl!
215
00:17:08,218 --> 00:17:10,015
Excuse me.
216
00:17:11,778 --> 00:17:13,257
See you later.
217
00:17:13,458 --> 00:17:16,814
Nell, aren't you forgetting something?
218
00:17:19,698 --> 00:17:23,088
Holy crap, look at the
size of that thing!
219
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,010
What thing?
220
00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:27,448
Gotta go mom, see you later.
221
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:34,615
Hop in man, we got places to go,
people to see, women to impregnate.
222
00:17:48,538 --> 00:17:49,653
You OK?
223
00:17:50,977 --> 00:17:52,171
Yeah, I'm fine!
224
00:17:53,257 --> 00:17:54,690
Really?
225
00:18:12,537 --> 00:18:15,097
The bitch stole my ride!
226
00:18:22,457 --> 00:18:25,688
- We're going a little fast?
- You bet your sweet ass we are!
227
00:18:26,457 --> 00:18:28,334
I am going to die!
228
00:18:33,816 --> 00:18:35,980
Oh god, I'm getting on
the bus. I haven't...
229
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,570
been on the bus since 8th grade!
230
00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:51,048
Come on!
231
00:18:55,536 --> 00:18:57,686
Screw you assholes!
232
00:18:58,376 --> 00:19:00,890
That's no way for
a young lady to talk!
233
00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:04,850
Sorry, I'm a bitch when I'm on
the rag, you know what I'm saying?
234
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:14,495
- Sorry!
- Yeah, you too.
235
00:19:16,775 --> 00:19:21,769
And this dress is just amazing
236
00:19:23,735 --> 00:19:25,134
You!
237
00:19:25,495 --> 00:19:27,631
What the hell have you
done to me, witch lady?
238
00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:29,249
Get your hands off me, you bully!
239
00:19:29,455 --> 00:19:31,084
God, you think I'm responsible for this?
240
00:19:31,184 --> 00:19:33,653
I certainly am not. And you're
the one who knows everything.
241
00:19:33,895 --> 00:19:36,409
That does not include this!
242
00:19:36,615 --> 00:19:41,370
This is impossible.
This can not happen!
243
00:19:44,215 --> 00:19:46,129
You better figure out how
to get my damn body back.
244
00:19:46,229 --> 00:19:47,810
Trust me, there's nothing
I would like more.
245
00:19:48,015 --> 00:19:50,768
You think I relish waking up
another day with the Simpsons?
246
00:19:50,975 --> 00:19:52,329
Leave my parents out of this.
247
00:19:52,429 --> 00:19:55,412
And what is up with your mother?
She never heard of volume control?
248
00:19:55,615 --> 00:19:58,686
Yak farmers in Tibet are praying
for her to keep the volume down.
249
00:19:58,894 --> 00:20:00,646
And her language, my goodness!
250
00:20:00,854 --> 00:20:03,971
My mother does not have a mole
on her face the size of the White House.
251
00:20:04,174 --> 00:20:06,254
So she's got a problem
with moles. Besides,
252
00:20:06,354 --> 00:20:08,008
it's not a mole, it's a beauty spot!
253
00:20:08,214 --> 00:20:11,729
I can spot that beauty from Wisconsin!
254
00:20:12,534 --> 00:20:14,490
Insensitive pig!
255
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:18,927
I don't want to be a boy, OK?
Especially I don't want to be you!
256
00:20:20,374 --> 00:20:23,730
No, no, no, don't cry, not here.
257
00:20:24,254 --> 00:20:29,009
Maybe it's just one of those 24
hour things. Like a head cold.
258
00:20:29,734 --> 00:20:33,568
Tomorrow we could be back to normal.
259
00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:36,686
Just try not to attract
any unnecessary attention.
260
00:20:54,173 --> 00:20:56,733
Gross, I have to touch it? Ewww!
261
00:20:59,853 --> 00:21:03,812
I will never eat finger food from a
buffet again for as long as I live.
262
00:21:10,373 --> 00:21:14,651
Your homework was to prepare a
speech on the greatest living American.
263
00:21:16,933 --> 00:21:19,087
I'm sorry I missed it
but I was excused...
264
00:21:19,187 --> 00:21:21,290
from homework due to
cheerleading practice.
265
00:21:21,652 --> 00:21:22,880
I see. And Nell?
266
00:21:27,412 --> 00:21:28,367
What?
267
00:21:28,572 --> 00:21:31,848
Your speech please. On the
greatest living American?
268
00:21:40,772 --> 00:21:45,129
I think the greatest
living American is...
269
00:21:48,572 --> 00:21:49,891
...J-Lo.
270
00:21:51,860 --> 00:21:53,604
- J-Lo?
- You know, Jennifer Lopez?
271
00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:59,648
Singer, movie star. She had a thing
with that dude from 'Pearl Harbor'.
272
00:21:59,852 --> 00:22:02,127
I know who J-Lo is now.
273
00:22:02,332 --> 00:22:05,310
I am just very interested
to hear what you...
274
00:22:05,410 --> 00:22:08,725
perceive qualifies her for
such a unique accolade.
275
00:22:10,251 --> 00:22:13,129
The thing about J-Lo is that...
276
00:22:13,331 --> 00:22:15,128
...she's from the streets..
277
00:22:16,011 --> 00:22:20,607
And now she's like this big movie
star and... she's still really cool.
278
00:22:21,571 --> 00:22:24,483
She used to have a little,
now she's got a lot.
279
00:22:24,691 --> 00:22:28,923
But she's still J-Lo from the block.
And I think that's pretty damn great.
280
00:22:30,251 --> 00:22:35,006
And she's American.
And she's a wife.
281
00:22:36,571 --> 00:22:37,890
I see.
282
00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:44,363
J-Lo?
283
00:22:44,571 --> 00:22:49,485
Pretty good, huh? It just
flew right into my head.
284
00:22:49,850 --> 00:22:51,920
At least there's plenty
of space for it to land.
285
00:22:52,130 --> 00:22:55,805
What is your problem? I happen to
like J-Lo! She's a hot booty!
286
00:22:56,010 --> 00:22:58,156
You do not bestow an
honor such as 'Greatest
287
00:22:58,256 --> 00:23:00,640
Living American' solely on
the fact of a hot booty!
288
00:23:00,850 --> 00:23:04,923
I didn't! She also happen to
have a terrific set of funbags!
289
00:23:05,930 --> 00:23:08,524
Woody Deanne, you're
an idiot and a Philistine.
290
00:23:08,730 --> 00:23:12,279
Know what, I don't appreciate
you calling me an idiot.
291
00:23:12,490 --> 00:23:14,139
And I don't know what
that other thing is...
292
00:23:14,239 --> 00:23:15,926
but as sure as hell
ain't one of them either.
293
00:23:26,410 --> 00:23:28,798
Hey Woody!
294
00:23:30,609 --> 00:23:34,045
What a lovely sight.
Swill time at Getty Central.
295
00:23:36,569 --> 00:23:39,959
Dear God, now I have to eat
with these creatures?
296
00:23:43,649 --> 00:23:45,680
My parents are going
out tonight, maybe you...
297
00:23:45,780 --> 00:23:47,725
wanna come over to discuss
what you wanna wear
298
00:23:47,825 --> 00:23:48,909
for the homecoming dance?
299
00:23:49,009 --> 00:23:51,204
I have things to do.
300
00:23:51,409 --> 00:23:55,448
What I meant was: we'd be alone.
301
00:23:56,169 --> 00:23:58,603
So maybe I might do
that thing when I...
302
00:24:04,489 --> 00:24:08,243
- You filthy little slut!
- You do that?
303
00:24:11,888 --> 00:24:13,560
Last week he begged me to do that!
304
00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:19,361
- So what is it, what do you do?
- Get lost, you little spastic.
305
00:24:22,168 --> 00:24:25,843
I can not believe Woody turned down
the chance to have sex with me tonight!
306
00:24:26,088 --> 00:24:28,443
Am I in like bizarro world?
307
00:24:28,688 --> 00:24:31,325
If I had Richard Wainwright
sniffing around me,
308
00:24:31,425 --> 00:24:33,318
I wouldn't waste my time on Woody.
309
00:24:33,608 --> 00:24:34,802
It's not that simple Tiffany.
310
00:24:35,008 --> 00:24:38,444
Today football captain,
tomorrow GQ Man of the Year.
311
00:24:38,688 --> 00:24:41,725
You need to plan these things!
312
00:24:41,928 --> 00:24:43,606
Personally I'd be relived if Horse and
313
00:24:43,706 --> 00:24:45,427
I didn't have sex.
Sometimes I think it's
314
00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:46,748
the only reason he's with me.
315
00:24:46,848 --> 00:24:50,808
That is so not true Chanel.
You have many fine qualities.
316
00:24:50,908 --> 00:24:52,081
Really? Like what?
317
00:24:53,847 --> 00:24:55,917
You have excellent taste in earrings.
318
00:24:56,847 --> 00:24:59,520
And your hair looks really good.
319
00:25:02,287 --> 00:25:04,801
And you're friends
with me. Case closed.
320
00:25:12,887 --> 00:25:16,641
- Woodster! Come on in, my man.
- How are you?
321
00:25:16,847 --> 00:25:19,361
Cool as frozen shit, homie.
322
00:25:19,967 --> 00:25:22,435
Yo, we have extra practice tonight,
alright, don't forget!
323
00:25:24,607 --> 00:25:26,802
I'm in the mood to
kick some serious ass!
324
00:25:27,007 --> 00:25:28,406
Oh yeah, me too!
325
00:25:28,607 --> 00:25:31,406
...only I have a prior
engagement that...
326
00:25:31,506 --> 00:25:34,443
conflicts with the
whole ass kicking thing.
327
00:25:34,847 --> 00:25:36,916
Wait, we're a week away
from the game against Lamont.
328
00:25:37,126 --> 00:25:40,562
Do you know what the coach will do to
your nuts if you don't show up tonight?
329
00:25:40,766 --> 00:25:44,600
No, I'll tell you. He will
grind them into dust.
330
00:25:45,486 --> 00:25:46,635
Nut dust.
331
00:25:46,846 --> 00:25:50,839
And the only kids you'd be able to have
is the itsy-bitsy patter ones.
332
00:26:27,165 --> 00:26:28,644
Alright, here we go!
333
00:26:29,965 --> 00:26:31,080
Wood?
334
00:26:32,045 --> 00:26:33,637
Cut the ball, man!
335
00:26:40,125 --> 00:26:42,559
- Woody?
- Sorry, coach.
336
00:26:46,245 --> 00:26:48,076
Alright, let's get this.
337
00:26:50,925 --> 00:26:51,960
Go!
338
00:26:56,045 --> 00:26:58,320
- Wood man, come on!
- Wake up, boy!
339
00:26:59,365 --> 00:27:00,353
Sorry, coach.
340
00:27:05,444 --> 00:27:06,843
I got it!
341
00:27:14,244 --> 00:27:17,520
What the hell were you doing out
there? You play like a damn woman!
342
00:27:17,724 --> 00:27:19,203
I'm a little pique.
343
00:27:20,044 --> 00:27:23,275
- It means off colour.
- I know what 'picque' means!
344
00:27:23,484 --> 00:27:25,600
You listen to me, and you listen good!
345
00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:28,922
This homecoming game is gonna be
the biggest game in those boys' lives.
346
00:27:29,124 --> 00:27:31,720
You may have a god given talent but I...
347
00:27:31,820 --> 00:27:34,482
will not let you risk
it. Do you hear me?
348
00:27:35,524 --> 00:27:36,673
Yes, coach!
349
00:27:38,124 --> 00:27:40,088
You get your shit
together or you'll be...
350
00:27:40,188 --> 00:27:41,877
watching the game from the side lines!
351
00:27:46,003 --> 00:27:48,801
Don't let it bug you buddy,
just hang in there!
352
00:27:49,483 --> 00:27:52,634
Look, you just hit a slump,
just like a golfer.
353
00:27:52,843 --> 00:27:56,472
It doesn't matter how big you are,
every now and again you lose a swing.
354
00:27:56,683 --> 00:28:00,915
So you keep working on your strokes
and banging those balls.
355
00:28:02,643 --> 00:28:04,474
Do you wanna touch my helmet?
356
00:28:06,043 --> 00:28:08,662
My lucky helmet. It works
for me, maybe it'll...
357
00:28:08,762 --> 00:28:10,992
do you the same. Go
ahead, give it a rub!
358
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:24,500
Elton John: Candle
in the Wind
359
00:28:31,882 --> 00:28:34,316
Oh man, this is crappy music!
360
00:28:45,562 --> 00:28:46,517
Loser!
361
00:28:46,722 --> 00:28:48,952
Yeah, you too and your mama!
362
00:28:54,522 --> 00:28:56,114
I heard about football practice.
363
00:28:56,322 --> 00:28:58,790
- Those boys are really rough.
- I'm covered in bruises.
364
00:28:59,002 --> 00:29:02,551
I don't care about your bruises.
If coach drops you my life is over.
365
00:29:02,762 --> 00:29:06,310
Why are you so worked up?
It's only a game!
366
00:29:06,641 --> 00:29:09,319
No, it's not only a
game. It's football!
367
00:29:09,419 --> 00:29:11,317
Jesus, don't you get anything?
368
00:29:11,521 --> 00:29:14,014
I get that clearly
this is not a head cold
369
00:29:14,114 --> 00:29:16,549
Do you have any better
theories, smart ass?
370
00:29:19,321 --> 00:29:21,437
Look at you. What am I wearing?
371
00:29:21,681 --> 00:29:24,195
Chinos and a Oxford cotton button-down
I found in the back of your closet.
372
00:29:24,401 --> 00:29:28,280
Which is exactly where
it is meant to stay!
373
00:29:29,201 --> 00:29:30,680
Nonsense, you can't
beat the classic look!
374
00:29:30,881 --> 00:29:32,579
My hair, you've made it all dorky!
375
00:29:32,679 --> 00:29:34,669
A center parting is
very European looking.
376
00:29:34,881 --> 00:29:36,328
No, it is very dorky looking!
377
00:29:36,428 --> 00:29:39,033
Excuse me for taking a little
pride in your appearance!
378
00:29:39,241 --> 00:29:42,995
You could have ruined my life,
I look like a male version of you!
379
00:29:43,441 --> 00:29:46,060
As long as I'm stuck
inside this disgusting...
380
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,390
body, you'll just have
to put up with it!
381
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,351
Alright, if that's how
you want it, sweet cheeks.
382
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:05,000
Scissor Sisters:
Filthy / Gorgeous
383
00:30:39,639 --> 00:30:41,277
Nice ass!
384
00:30:42,239 --> 00:30:44,992
You're looking fine, sugar!
385
00:30:45,359 --> 00:30:47,595
- What are you doing?
- Protecting your modesty.
386
00:30:47,695 --> 00:30:49,299
You look like a common prostitute!
387
00:30:49,399 --> 00:30:50,978
Damn, I was going for
a high class hooker!
388
00:30:51,078 --> 00:30:52,471
You can not walk into school like this!
389
00:30:52,679 --> 00:30:56,513
I can do whatever I want. Now get
your hands off me or I'll scream.
390
00:31:22,998 --> 00:31:26,513
What are you doing?
You're supposed to be Shakespeare.
391
00:31:34,078 --> 00:31:35,909
OK, here goes.
392
00:31:37,038 --> 00:31:38,915
Nice penis.
393
00:31:58,677 --> 00:32:01,555
Nothing like a bit of personal hygien.
394
00:32:11,517 --> 00:32:13,712
Well, it has to be done.
395
00:32:19,797 --> 00:32:21,628
Come on, think about it.
396
00:32:21,837 --> 00:32:24,351
And she's totally
pretending to be pretty.
397
00:32:26,757 --> 00:32:28,748
- Hello, Woody.
- Hello, Breanna.
398
00:32:28,957 --> 00:32:30,812
I have something I want to say to you.
399
00:32:30,912 --> 00:32:33,269
Let me guess: you're sorry
about blowing me off.
400
00:32:33,597 --> 00:32:36,555
No. I'm afraid we can't
see each other any more.
401
00:32:38,396 --> 00:32:40,068
Very funny, Woody.
402
00:32:40,276 --> 00:32:43,234
Well, I don't find you
that attractive any more.
403
00:32:43,716 --> 00:32:46,594
You just look kind of plain.
404
00:32:48,156 --> 00:32:50,989
And don't worry about your moustache.
Some guys are really into that shit.
405
00:32:53,076 --> 00:32:55,112
Suck on this, Woody Dean.
406
00:32:55,316 --> 00:32:56,954
I can't believe he said that to her!
407
00:32:57,156 --> 00:33:00,307
You can't really see the hairs anyway.
408
00:33:01,196 --> 00:33:02,311
What just happened?
409
00:33:02,516 --> 00:33:04,877
Seems you and your
girlfriend just broke up.
410
00:33:04,977 --> 00:33:05,713
Commiserations.
411
00:33:06,356 --> 00:33:07,514
No! Me and Breanna?
412
00:33:07,614 --> 00:33:10,269
Breanna and I, but let's
not quip over details.
413
00:33:11,836 --> 00:33:14,669
- Broke up with my girlfriend?
- You'll get over it.
414
00:33:16,156 --> 00:33:18,226
Wanna go for a ride?
415
00:33:18,636 --> 00:33:20,751
I have to go, tonight's
a big night for me.
416
00:33:22,075 --> 00:33:23,667
You too.
417
00:33:25,355 --> 00:33:29,314
Congratulations. Tonight's the night
you finally get to lose it.
418
00:33:33,275 --> 00:33:34,628
Nicky!
419
00:33:50,795 --> 00:33:51,989
There you go, babe.
420
00:33:53,115 --> 00:33:54,707
Thanks.
421
00:33:55,915 --> 00:33:57,633
Nice...
422
00:33:58,515 --> 00:34:00,870
- ... trailer.
- It's a dump.
423
00:34:01,075 --> 00:34:03,907
But... my folks are away...
424
00:34:04,634 --> 00:34:07,865
...and we won't be disturbed.
425
00:34:14,474 --> 00:34:16,704
Never seen a chick
drink like that before.
426
00:34:17,474 --> 00:34:20,671
My throat's a little dry.
427
00:34:23,194 --> 00:34:26,982
Maybe I could moisten it up a little.
428
00:34:29,994 --> 00:34:32,383
I can't. I need another beer.
429
00:34:34,154 --> 00:34:35,951
Sure.
430
00:34:44,873 --> 00:34:47,307
- You OK?
- I'm fine thank you.
431
00:34:47,513 --> 00:34:50,119
You've been acting
kind of weird lately.
432
00:34:50,219 --> 00:34:52,382
I think I know what's on your mind.
433
00:34:53,633 --> 00:34:56,227
- I don't think you do.
- Let me guess.
434
00:34:56,873 --> 00:35:00,017
You think if you don't
impress those scouts,
435
00:35:00,117 --> 00:35:02,913
you're gonna end up
working with your dad
436
00:35:03,013 --> 00:35:04,153
in spatula world.
437
00:35:04,633 --> 00:35:05,668
What?
438
00:35:06,233 --> 00:35:11,023
I ain't stupid, Woody. Just
let things fall into place.
439
00:35:11,793 --> 00:35:14,023
Whatever you do, we'll be proud of you.
440
00:35:17,873 --> 00:35:22,071
So you don't want to work
with spatulas, what the heck?
441
00:35:29,872 --> 00:35:31,271
Not here.
442
00:35:32,192 --> 00:35:34,262
OK, let's go to the master bedroom.
443
00:35:37,832 --> 00:35:41,541
Let's get cracking baby,
cause daddy's packing!
444
00:35:44,432 --> 00:35:47,469
Oh god, what was I
thinking? This is so gay!
445
00:35:49,632 --> 00:35:51,065
What are you waiting for, baby?
446
00:35:51,592 --> 00:35:54,026
Daddy wants to see some flesh.
447
00:35:54,272 --> 00:35:57,787
He's gonna make me his bitch!
Woody the bitch boy!
448
00:35:58,112 --> 00:36:00,865
Maybe you need a little help?
449
00:36:02,912 --> 00:36:04,391
I have to pee.
450
00:36:04,592 --> 00:36:05,263
Now?
451
00:36:05,472 --> 00:36:08,494
Yeah, I can feel I have
to fricking go. So, you...
452
00:36:08,594 --> 00:36:09,430
get undressed -
453
00:36:09,631 --> 00:36:11,861
and don't start without me.
454
00:36:19,231 --> 00:36:20,505
Hey, come back!
455
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:27,166
Elton John: Candle
in the Wind
456
00:36:27,266 --> 00:36:29,381
Not this shit again, man!
457
00:36:30,471 --> 00:36:34,522
It's very melodic. If you give it a
chance you might learn to enjoy it.
458
00:36:34,622 --> 00:36:38,000
Elton John: Candle
in the Wind
459
00:36:38,111 --> 00:36:39,988
No. Still shit.
460
00:36:40,471 --> 00:36:42,382
Have you heard about
that grease ball Nicky?
461
00:36:43,631 --> 00:36:47,260
She got it on last night.
462
00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:53,462
Did you guys hear?
463
00:36:54,030 --> 00:36:56,828
She did it in the trailer park.
464
00:36:59,350 --> 00:37:02,501
She probably didn't even
know it was a trailer park.
465
00:37:11,310 --> 00:37:13,141
Woody, are you crying?
466
00:37:15,550 --> 00:37:17,222
What's wrong?
467
00:37:18,670 --> 00:37:20,467
I'm sorry.
468
00:37:20,870 --> 00:37:24,306
I just found out I lost my
virginity in a trailer park.
469
00:37:33,549 --> 00:37:37,462
I gotta go.
I got a class.
470
00:38:04,669 --> 00:38:06,978
Hey, do you think she
might do it with me?
471
00:38:07,549 --> 00:38:09,938
No! Get lost.
472
00:38:18,708 --> 00:38:19,697
What?
473
00:38:22,348 --> 00:38:26,387
Don't worry. You had a great time.
474
00:38:27,348 --> 00:38:29,657
Trust me, you'll never forget it.
475
00:38:29,948 --> 00:38:31,620
How could you do this to me?
476
00:38:33,348 --> 00:38:37,136
I know you're not the best looking
guy in the world but it's only sex.
477
00:38:37,868 --> 00:38:40,223
I wanted it to be special.
478
00:38:40,548 --> 00:38:44,939
Well, you started it.'A central
parting is very european looking'.
479
00:38:45,148 --> 00:38:46,342
You lost me my girlfriend.
480
00:38:46,548 --> 00:38:49,506
I was saving it for the
boy I fell in love with.
481
00:38:57,588 --> 00:38:59,862
Look, nothing happened, OK?
482
00:39:01,787 --> 00:39:03,778
- Really?
- Really.
483
00:39:05,987 --> 00:39:07,962
That's not what Nicky
is telling everyone.
484
00:39:08,062 --> 00:39:09,024
Well, Nicky is a liar.
485
00:39:10,147 --> 00:39:12,536
Try telling that to the entire world.
486
00:39:13,827 --> 00:39:16,660
How's it feel to be a cheap little slut?
487
00:39:20,747 --> 00:39:24,074
Looks like I have to have a talk with
that son of a bitch, cause no one...
488
00:39:24,174 --> 00:39:24,945
calls us the sort.
489
00:39:39,027 --> 00:39:40,379
Pass the ball!
490
00:39:42,306 --> 00:39:44,695
Nicky, here's your ho!
491
00:39:47,106 --> 00:39:49,779
- Hey, I'm looking for you!
- You found me, baby.
492
00:39:50,266 --> 00:39:52,257
What the hell did you say?
493
00:39:54,146 --> 00:39:55,181
Nothing.
494
00:39:55,826 --> 00:39:57,305
Oh really?
495
00:39:58,106 --> 00:40:00,574
But I wasn't 100 percent true.
496
00:40:01,826 --> 00:40:04,021
You greasy scumbag liar.
497
00:40:04,426 --> 00:40:07,259
And you've got a very
dirty little mouth.
498
00:40:08,426 --> 00:40:09,905
Then again...
499
00:40:10,866 --> 00:40:12,504
...I already knew that.
500
00:40:14,106 --> 00:40:16,461
- A little hellcat, ain't you?
- Asshole!
501
00:40:19,786 --> 00:40:21,777
That's no way to treat a lady, mister!
502
00:40:21,986 --> 00:40:24,897
And what kind of word is 'ain't you'.
It's wrong on so many levels.
503
00:40:25,185 --> 00:40:27,824
Why don't you tell everyone
what really happened?
504
00:40:28,025 --> 00:40:30,095
- Tell them!
- Nothing! Nothing happened!
505
00:40:30,305 --> 00:40:32,544
I think you owe this sweet, innocent,
506
00:40:32,644 --> 00:40:35,060
yet very attractive
young lady an apology.
507
00:40:37,025 --> 00:40:38,504
Sorry.
508
00:40:39,585 --> 00:40:41,177
I'm sorry!
509
00:40:42,385 --> 00:40:43,454
Thanks.
510
00:40:49,585 --> 00:40:52,895
It's so much fun to hit someone.
I'd like to punch him again.
511
00:40:56,105 --> 00:40:59,177
Easy champ. Doesn't mean I forgive you
about screwing up about Breanna and I.
512
00:40:59,785 --> 00:41:01,264
Breanna and me.
513
00:41:03,705 --> 00:41:04,932
I'll try to fix things.
514
00:41:05,144 --> 00:41:07,863
What's the point?
I'm a girl, remember?
515
00:41:09,224 --> 00:41:13,103
Jesus, what am I gonna do?
Homecoming's next Friday.
516
00:41:13,624 --> 00:41:15,376
My life is a complete disaster.
517
00:41:15,584 --> 00:41:17,646
What were we doing
before this happened?
518
00:41:17,746 --> 00:41:18,098
Arguing?
519
00:41:18,304 --> 00:41:20,579
- You always argue.
- Not always.
520
00:41:21,824 --> 00:41:23,815
We were at the museum.
521
00:41:24,304 --> 00:41:29,219
- In front of that ugly Mexican dude.
- Aztek. Texcatlipoca.
522
00:41:29,424 --> 00:41:33,133
- That's the guy.
- He's the ancient god of sorcery.
523
00:41:44,184 --> 00:41:45,856
We close in 5 minutes, folks.
524
00:41:55,103 --> 00:41:55,918
OK, you go first.
525
00:41:56,018 --> 00:41:58,015
No, you go first, you
have the biggest mouth.
526
00:41:59,463 --> 00:42:02,353
- Hi, how are you?
- Is that the best you can do?
527
00:42:02,453 --> 00:42:04,363
He's a god, not your aunt Betsy.
528
00:42:04,463 --> 00:42:07,283
You may have got the
impression that this...
529
00:42:07,383 --> 00:42:10,140
young fellow and I didn't
like it each other.
530
00:42:11,703 --> 00:42:14,536
But let me tell you, that could not
be any farther from the truth.
531
00:42:14,743 --> 00:42:19,100
That's right. Sure we were fighting
but all friends fight, right?
532
00:42:19,303 --> 00:42:25,378
How could you not like Nell? She is
really tidy and smart, way smart!
533
00:42:27,463 --> 00:42:30,579
Kinda cute, especially when she
does that thing with her nose.
534
00:42:31,382 --> 00:42:32,656
We get along really well.
535
00:42:33,662 --> 00:42:36,779
- Yeah, we're actually very close.
- Closest.
536
00:42:36,982 --> 00:42:38,210
Real homies.
537
00:42:38,422 --> 00:42:40,492
- To the end, bro.
- Don't overdo it.
538
00:42:43,542 --> 00:42:47,171
Now that we've got that cleared
up, here's what we're gonna do.
539
00:42:47,422 --> 00:42:49,378
We close our eyes, count to three -
540
00:42:49,582 --> 00:42:52,892
and when we open them up, we'll
be back in our right bodies.
541
00:42:53,382 --> 00:42:54,781
If that's OK with you -
542
00:42:54,982 --> 00:42:59,902
which I'm sure it is, since this
is just a big misunderstanding we can
543
00:43:00,002 --> 00:43:01,982
laugh about in years to come.
544
00:43:02,342 --> 00:43:03,570
Let's do it.
545
00:43:11,222 --> 00:43:12,290
One...
546
00:43:13,381 --> 00:43:14,894
...two...
547
00:43:15,421 --> 00:43:16,740
...three.
548
00:43:25,101 --> 00:43:27,092
Maybe he only speaks Mexican?
549
00:43:27,301 --> 00:43:29,974
So what are we gonna do next,
buy him an enchilada?
550
00:43:31,501 --> 00:43:33,696
I had my heart set on Yale.
551
00:43:34,381 --> 00:43:36,611
No, please, not the tears, please?
552
00:43:38,661 --> 00:43:41,129
You think I wanna end up
in my dad's spatula store?
553
00:43:41,341 --> 00:43:43,093
You don't know.
554
00:43:46,541 --> 00:43:47,735
Wait, wait!
555
00:43:49,181 --> 00:43:51,058
You beat up Nicky.
556
00:43:55,860 --> 00:43:58,932
You have my body, my strength.
557
00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:01,893
All I need to do is
show you how to use it.
558
00:44:05,420 --> 00:44:09,430
And we could study so you
could get through my interview.
559
00:44:09,530 --> 00:44:09,760
Huh?
560
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:15,000
Orson: Tryin' to Help
561
00:44:52,179 --> 00:44:53,294
Ready?
562
00:44:53,779 --> 00:44:55,929
As hard as you like.
563
00:45:00,019 --> 00:45:01,372
Come on.
564
00:45:17,739 --> 00:45:19,615
Once the sign is given -
565
00:45:19,818 --> 00:45:21,938
the center snaps the
ball to the quarterback...
566
00:45:22,038 --> 00:45:23,936
and the game begins.
Are you with me so far?
567
00:45:25,338 --> 00:45:26,851
The offence has a
limited amount of time...
568
00:45:27,058 --> 00:45:29,447
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
569
00:45:29,658 --> 00:45:32,616
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
570
00:45:32,818 --> 00:45:36,015
Rough winds do shake
the darling buds of May.
571
00:45:36,218 --> 00:45:39,130
And summer's lease hath
all too short a date.
572
00:45:39,698 --> 00:45:42,735
So, he's not actually
saying that she's like a...
573
00:45:42,835 --> 00:45:45,933
summer's day? He say she is
hot like a summer's day?
574
00:45:46,138 --> 00:45:47,969
Yeah, that's it exactly!
575
00:45:50,738 --> 00:45:52,688
Right, you know, I still
can't imagine ever...
576
00:45:52,788 --> 00:45:54,697
actually saying something
like that to someone.
577
00:45:55,498 --> 00:45:57,056
Feel like so uncool.
578
00:45:57,258 --> 00:45:58,922
Maybe you'd just have
to meet the right...
579
00:45:59,022 --> 00:46:00,374
person to say that kind of stuff to.
580
00:46:00,577 --> 00:46:03,489
Or maybe I just don't
wanna look like a doofus.
581
00:46:03,697 --> 00:46:07,372
Well, Shaky must really have liked that
one. She must have been some babe.
582
00:46:07,577 --> 00:46:09,886
Actually, Shakespeare
wrote this to a young man.
583
00:46:10,457 --> 00:46:13,449
- Shakespeare was a homo?
- We don't know that exactly.
584
00:46:13,697 --> 00:46:15,426
You write a poem to
a guy telling him...
585
00:46:15,526 --> 00:46:17,212
how hot he is and you
don't know exactly?
586
00:46:17,417 --> 00:46:20,056
Gees, what do you have to do
before you know exactly?
587
00:46:20,257 --> 00:46:22,817
Write an ode to a schlong?
588
00:46:23,217 --> 00:46:24,809
I think that's enough for today.
589
00:46:25,017 --> 00:46:27,929
The bard was a bender.
Who would've though?
590
00:46:28,417 --> 00:46:29,930
See you tomorrow.
591
00:46:30,337 --> 00:46:31,656
Good night.
592
00:46:38,497 --> 00:46:40,175
Listen, I was wrong about
your parents. They're...
593
00:46:40,275 --> 00:46:41,853
alright once you get used
to your mom's language.
594
00:46:42,057 --> 00:46:43,887
Mom's pretty cool.
595
00:46:46,656 --> 00:46:48,533
Woody, can I ask you a question?
596
00:46:50,216 --> 00:46:51,410
Sure.
597
00:46:53,496 --> 00:46:55,293
In the morning...
598
00:46:56,856 --> 00:46:58,448
- Never mind.
- What?
599
00:46:58,656 --> 00:47:00,487
- No, it's nothing really.
- Go on.
600
00:47:00,696 --> 00:47:02,607
It's a little embarrasing but...
601
00:47:02,816 --> 00:47:05,376
...every morning you...
602
00:47:07,096 --> 00:47:10,247
...have this thing....
603
00:47:12,296 --> 00:47:14,048
- The thing that you...
- What?
604
00:47:14,896 --> 00:47:17,410
You know, every morning?
605
00:47:20,416 --> 00:47:23,726
- You mean the old boner.
- That's not the word I would have used.
606
00:47:23,936 --> 00:47:25,388
Boy, do I miss that guy.
607
00:47:25,488 --> 00:47:29,134
I'm sure you do. What I'd like to
know: how can I get rid of it?
608
00:47:30,495 --> 00:47:31,974
Only one way I know of.
609
00:47:33,055 --> 00:47:35,250
That's disgusting...
610
00:47:35,655 --> 00:47:37,054
...and there's got to
be another way, right?
611
00:47:39,455 --> 00:47:42,891
Well, there is one thing that I
do in case of emergencies....
612
00:47:43,135 --> 00:47:46,093
...sort of lets the air out of the
old tire, if you know what I'm saying.
613
00:47:46,855 --> 00:47:51,406
First I close my eyes,
and I think of you.
614
00:47:54,135 --> 00:47:56,729
- Works every the time.
- Good night.
615
00:47:56,935 --> 00:47:58,209
See ya!
616
00:48:13,254 --> 00:48:17,247
- Hey, you want one?
- No, thanks.
617
00:48:19,174 --> 00:48:23,087
You've had it quiet up
there tonight. Are you OK?
618
00:48:24,254 --> 00:48:25,901
Yeah, I was just studying with Nell.
619
00:48:26,001 --> 00:48:28,452
Is that what you young people
are calling it these days?
620
00:48:28,854 --> 00:48:32,005
- Nell's not that kind of girl.
- I know.
621
00:48:32,494 --> 00:48:33,813
She's a good kid.
622
00:48:34,774 --> 00:48:37,950
You know, way back,
her dad Ted and I used...
623
00:48:38,050 --> 00:48:41,088
to hang out together.
He was a good guy, Ted.
624
00:48:41,774 --> 00:48:43,093
He still is.
625
00:48:44,894 --> 00:48:46,612
I mean, as far as I know.
626
00:48:47,494 --> 00:48:49,007
What ever happened between you two?
627
00:48:49,214 --> 00:48:54,287
Nell's mom, Katherine, I guess.
She didn't really approve.
628
00:48:55,693 --> 00:48:58,969
We weren't her kind of people.
629
00:49:00,813 --> 00:49:02,132
Good night, son.
630
00:49:03,133 --> 00:49:05,601
Good night, dad.
631
00:49:14,573 --> 00:49:16,484
Oh god, she's crying.
632
00:49:20,173 --> 00:49:21,572
Chanel?
633
00:49:22,933 --> 00:49:24,525
Are you OK?
634
00:49:26,413 --> 00:49:28,051
Oh crap...
635
00:49:31,572 --> 00:49:33,051
What's wrong?
636
00:49:33,412 --> 00:49:37,291
It's about Harry. He's
seeing some other girl.
637
00:49:38,132 --> 00:49:40,123
No, he wouldn't do that.
638
00:49:40,812 --> 00:49:44,566
Well, how come I saw him with
his tongue stuck down her throat.
639
00:49:45,972 --> 00:49:47,769
Did you see who it was?
640
00:49:48,092 --> 00:49:52,802
No, they were in his car. But I
saw what they were doing clear enough.
641
00:49:54,412 --> 00:49:57,404
Why are guys such jerks?
642
00:50:00,452 --> 00:50:04,968
Why am I asking you, you know less about
guys than anybody on the planet.
643
00:50:07,492 --> 00:50:08,641
I'm sorry.
644
00:50:08,852 --> 00:50:11,491
- I didn't mean that.
- You're right.
645
00:50:11,692 --> 00:50:13,807
What do I know about guys?
646
00:50:16,131 --> 00:50:20,010
I was so stupid. I know how Horse is.
647
00:50:21,571 --> 00:50:24,005
Why do you go out with them?
648
00:50:25,451 --> 00:50:29,967
Cause when I started at
Westdale I felt invisible.
649
00:50:30,171 --> 00:50:34,528
And then I started going out
with Horse and I became friends -
650
00:50:34,731 --> 00:50:37,105
with Breanna and
Tiffany and Woody and...
651
00:50:37,205 --> 00:50:39,805
everyone. And then people
started to notice me.
652
00:50:41,211 --> 00:50:43,281
And I liked that.
653
00:50:45,091 --> 00:50:49,004
So, I guess I'm just afraid
of feeling invisible again.
654
00:50:51,051 --> 00:50:55,044
You know I think that a lot more
people feel that way than you realize.
655
00:50:55,731 --> 00:50:57,402
You do.
656
00:50:58,090 --> 00:51:01,526
You go your own way no
matter what anyone thinks.
657
00:51:03,530 --> 00:51:05,646
I admire you, Nell.
658
00:51:12,770 --> 00:51:15,214
And this is Mr. Stinky,
you have to say hello.
659
00:51:15,314 --> 00:51:18,083
Why did you bring that pencil
neck to our sleepover?
660
00:51:20,170 --> 00:51:21,364
Nell's OK.
661
00:51:21,570 --> 00:51:24,164
She just wants to hang, right?
662
00:51:25,370 --> 00:51:28,009
Carey told me we're all
going in our jammies.
663
00:51:32,530 --> 00:51:35,090
I see you finally seen the
errors of your geekish ways?
664
00:51:35,370 --> 00:51:37,679
I have. This girl
just wants to have fun.
665
00:51:41,209 --> 00:51:43,325
OK. OK! Let's get to our PJ's!
666
00:51:47,929 --> 00:51:49,157
Oh man!
667
00:51:49,809 --> 00:51:52,403
Life is such a bitch.
668
00:51:55,969 --> 00:52:00,121
Lock target in 5 and will
you check out that ass!
669
00:52:00,769 --> 00:52:01,758
What about Chanel?
670
00:52:04,449 --> 00:52:05,404
No, don't see her.
671
00:52:05,609 --> 00:52:07,201
Think about it Harry -
672
00:52:07,409 --> 00:52:10,043
are you willing to betray
the love of a good...
673
00:52:10,143 --> 00:52:12,722
woman for the cheap thrill
of a one night stand?
674
00:52:17,489 --> 00:52:21,003
You crack me up, you know that boy.
675
00:52:21,208 --> 00:52:23,881
You were always into the
'faithful' but I'm the Horse -
676
00:52:24,088 --> 00:52:26,443
and Horse people knows of
no such boundaries. And plus -
677
00:52:26,648 --> 00:52:30,766
at night I'm a locked target
678
00:52:32,288 --> 00:52:36,076
You know what happens. A few drinks,
quality control goes out the window -
679
00:52:36,288 --> 00:52:38,053
and before you know
it, you're sucking...
680
00:52:38,153 --> 00:52:39,917
face with some swill
muncher from downtown.
681
00:52:40,128 --> 00:52:43,279
Or worse still. I end up here with you -
682
00:52:43,488 --> 00:52:46,082
drunk on some dark street
telling you I love you.
683
00:52:46,968 --> 00:52:49,641
And you know me doesn't
want that to happen, homie.
684
00:52:49,968 --> 00:52:51,879
Let's go to a party.
685
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,734
Sugababes: Red Dress (Background Music)
686
00:52:54,834 --> 00:52:55,811
Sugababes: Red Dress (Background Music)
687
00:52:55,911 --> 00:52:57,151
So Breanna, you're not
seeing Woody anymore?
688
00:52:57,251 --> 00:52:57,668
That is so over.
689
00:52:57,768 --> 00:53:00,328
Such a shame. I mean, you
guys were the perfect couple.
690
00:53:01,088 --> 00:53:03,237
Duh. I was only seeing him
because he's the football captain.
691
00:53:04,087 --> 00:53:06,840
Without me, he's just another dumb
jock with his brains in his shorts.
692
00:53:07,047 --> 00:53:10,596
Which is convenient because not
much else is going on down there.
693
00:53:21,767 --> 00:53:24,235
Loser! Drink up, man!
694
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:30,414
Sugababes: Push
the Button (Background Music)
695
00:53:30,514 --> 00:53:31,536
Sugababes: Push
the Button (Background Music)
696
00:53:31,636 --> 00:53:32,840
Manicure, pedicure, face
masks. Are we done yet?
697
00:53:34,167 --> 00:53:38,126
Nell, I couldn't help noticing that
you're a little on the hairy side.
698
00:53:41,727 --> 00:53:42,682
Down below.
699
00:53:44,007 --> 00:53:48,363
You've got sort of a
rainforest thing going on.
700
00:53:48,566 --> 00:53:51,558
You're not supposed to be bushy?
701
00:53:52,806 --> 00:53:55,639
�- We've all gone totally latino.
- Totally.
702
00:53:56,246 --> 00:53:57,201
Really?
703
00:53:57,406 --> 00:53:59,203
You should too.
704
00:53:59,846 --> 00:54:01,757
You know, we could do
it for you right now.
705
00:54:03,046 --> 00:54:04,684
Latino.
706
00:54:05,686 --> 00:54:07,517
What the hell, let's do it!
707
00:54:08,726 --> 00:54:10,921
OK girls, we've got a green
light on the Brazilian wax.
708
00:54:11,126 --> 00:54:13,560
Tiffany, bring me scissors
and depilatory strips.
709
00:54:13,766 --> 00:54:16,838
Chanel, I'm gonna need
towels and hot water.
710
00:54:17,046 --> 00:54:21,324
Nell, sit back, relax and do exactly...
711
00:54:30,405 --> 00:54:31,838
One more, give me one more!
712
00:54:37,725 --> 00:54:39,204
Bite down on this.
713
00:54:40,045 --> 00:54:41,637
On three. One...
714
00:54:41,925 --> 00:54:43,597
Maybe this is a bad idea.
715
00:54:46,525 --> 00:54:48,720
Did I say you I love you, man?
716
00:54:49,845 --> 00:54:51,801
I really do love you, man.
717
00:54:52,365 --> 00:54:56,074
You're like... my... twin brother.
718
00:54:57,485 --> 00:55:01,114
You're white but you're my twin brother.
719
00:55:05,725 --> 00:55:08,239
Man, this is some kind of brazilian.
720
00:55:11,124 --> 00:55:12,796
How are you feeling?
721
00:55:14,244 --> 00:55:15,916
A little better.
722
00:55:17,644 --> 00:55:20,556
- How much did you drink last night?
- I don't know.
723
00:55:20,804 --> 00:55:25,195
I just remember feeling unusually
happy and having a really good time -
724
00:55:25,404 --> 00:55:28,919
and then like somebody picked up
the room and started spinning it.
725
00:55:29,644 --> 00:55:31,043
I don't know, I'm an idiot.
726
00:55:31,244 --> 00:55:35,522
Think of it as a rite of passage.
Go easy next time.
727
00:55:37,924 --> 00:55:39,357
Thanks for taking care of me.
728
00:55:44,404 --> 00:55:46,719
See you after lunch. We
have stuff to do today.
729
00:55:46,819 --> 00:55:47,396
Yeah, I know.
730
00:55:50,844 --> 00:55:54,597
Drop back, pump it and
then throw the ball.
731
00:55:56,443 --> 00:55:57,956
Alright, I can do that.
732
00:56:01,723 --> 00:56:03,156
No, you're telegraphing,
you're way telegraphing.
733
00:56:03,363 --> 00:56:05,399
Watch me behind me how I do.
734
00:56:08,843 --> 00:56:10,799
- What is it?
- What's what?
735
00:56:11,203 --> 00:56:13,592
That's sticking me in my ass.
736
00:56:15,003 --> 00:56:16,595
We're meant to be playing football.
737
00:56:16,803 --> 00:56:20,318
It's not my fault. I'm sorry.
It's your thing, not mine.
738
00:56:20,523 --> 00:56:21,691
Yeah, but you're behind the wheel.
739
00:56:21,791 --> 00:56:23,162
I guess that means you
find me attractive.
740
00:56:23,363 --> 00:56:26,400
No actually, that means
you find me attractive.
741
00:56:26,603 --> 00:56:29,037
Let's not read too much into it, OK.
This thing finds anything attractive.
742
00:56:29,243 --> 00:56:31,000
That is such a guy thing to say.
743
00:56:31,100 --> 00:56:33,282
Can we just keep playing
football, please?
744
00:56:33,963 --> 00:56:36,522
Sure, as long as you keep
my dick out of your butt.
745
00:57:10,642 --> 00:57:13,361
Ah, came through the windows!
746
00:57:13,642 --> 00:57:16,439
One of the many skills
I've acquired lately.
747
00:57:17,001 --> 00:57:19,004
Keep our voices down. If my mom knows
748
00:57:19,104 --> 00:57:21,791
I have a boy in my room
she'd spontaneously combust.
749
00:57:22,001 --> 00:57:24,276
I'm trying to settle what
to wear for your interview.
750
00:57:24,481 --> 00:57:26,790
Navy suit, white blouse
and sensible shoes.
751
00:57:27,001 --> 00:57:28,992
You don't think something
a little hotter?
752
00:57:29,641 --> 00:57:31,597
It's an interview...
753
00:57:34,241 --> 00:57:38,200
�- You're joking.
- At least something I can control.
754
00:57:39,481 --> 00:57:43,076
I've been thinking.
While we're like this -
755
00:57:43,281 --> 00:57:44,879
I wonder if it would make sense if...
756
00:57:44,979 --> 00:57:46,830
we could go to the
Homecoming dance together.
757
00:57:47,041 --> 00:57:50,917
Not only because, well, who else
would we go with? I don't wanna get
758
00:57:51,017 --> 00:57:52,901
stuck with pencil neck all night.
759
00:57:53,001 --> 00:57:55,469
It wouldn't be a date.
760
00:57:58,361 --> 00:58:01,750
- I'd like that.
- Great. It's a date.
761
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:04,436
A non-date date.
762
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:07,234
Nell, wash hands! Dinner!
763
00:58:07,440 --> 00:58:09,351
My cue to go.
764
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:13,678
Not a real date.
765
00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:19,037
It's alright! I'm OK!
766
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:25,518
I will be kinda late tomorrow.
767
00:58:26,560 --> 00:58:28,790
Kind of.
768
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:32,991
Kind of late tomorrow.
769
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:36,389
What is with you at the moment? Ted?
770
00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:39,714
Sometimes I feel as though I
don't know who you are anymore.
771
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:42,354
She's growing up, Katherine.
772
00:58:46,159 --> 00:58:50,755
So, are you going to tell me
what you're doing or is it a secret?
773
00:58:51,799 --> 00:58:54,233
It's no secret, I'm
studying with Woody.
774
00:58:54,599 --> 00:58:55,554
Again?
775
00:58:55,879 --> 00:58:57,392
Yeah, you've got a problem with that?
776
00:59:04,159 --> 00:59:06,912
If you want to waste your
valuable time it's your affair.
777
00:59:07,119 --> 00:59:08,632
Who says I'm wasting my time?
778
00:59:09,959 --> 00:59:11,472
Oh Nell, you only have
to look at the boy.
779
00:59:12,039 --> 00:59:13,188
What's wrong with him?
780
00:59:13,399 --> 00:59:15,833
He's stupid, he's
trouble and he's a loser.
781
00:59:16,399 --> 00:59:17,673
You told me so yourself.
782
00:59:20,759 --> 00:59:24,194
There's nothing you can do to
change that. Look at his family.
783
00:59:24,478 --> 00:59:26,628
That's basic genetics.
784
00:59:48,878 --> 00:59:51,438
Hi, Mr Bedworth.
785
00:59:52,798 --> 00:59:54,550
Is Nell around?
786
00:59:55,318 --> 00:59:58,284
She's gone back to
school, son, she said...
787
00:59:58,384 --> 01:00:01,148
she had to do some
extra studying. She has
788
01:00:01,248 --> 01:00:03,508
her interview with Yale tomorrow.
789
01:00:03,798 --> 01:00:05,117
Thanks.
790
01:00:07,917 --> 01:00:11,592
- So, how have you been, Mr. Bedworth?
- I'm fine, Woody, just fine.
791
01:00:14,557 --> 01:00:18,345
- Well, give my best to your wife.
- I will do.
792
01:00:32,997 --> 01:00:34,669
What are you trying to do?
793
01:00:40,917 --> 01:00:43,636
- Stop, you're gonna hurt yourself!
- Back off!
794
01:00:45,997 --> 01:00:47,907
Why are you doing this?
795
01:00:50,356 --> 01:00:52,790
Because this is who I am.
796
01:00:55,076 --> 01:00:57,590
This is all I've ever been.
797
01:00:59,836 --> 01:01:01,986
And now not even that.
798
01:01:06,316 --> 01:01:09,114
Football's not who you are.
799
01:01:10,516 --> 01:01:12,552
You don't get it, do you?
800
01:01:12,796 --> 01:01:15,390
- People like you never do.
- People like me?
801
01:01:15,596 --> 01:01:18,108
What exactly is it people
like me don't get?
802
01:01:18,208 --> 01:01:19,032
People like me!
803
01:01:20,676 --> 01:01:22,951
Then educate me, please!
804
01:01:28,356 --> 01:01:30,471
We like to play ball.
805
01:01:31,515 --> 01:01:33,506
Maybe we're even pretty good at it.
806
01:01:33,715 --> 01:01:37,708
Maybe we get accepted to some
second rate shit kicker college -
807
01:01:37,915 --> 01:01:43,035
or maybe we go work with our dad
at the spatula store. Who knows?
808
01:01:43,715 --> 01:01:48,266
But what we don't get is a great job,
a big apartment in the city -
809
01:01:48,475 --> 01:01:50,085
and a Yale education.
810
01:01:50,185 --> 01:01:53,310
So that's what this is
about. The interview?
811
01:01:59,315 --> 01:02:01,192
I don't know!
812
01:02:01,795 --> 01:02:06,152
- It's OK to be nervous.
- Nothing is OK. Nothing!
813
01:02:07,915 --> 01:02:11,510
Tomorrow I'm supposed to be playing
the most important game of my life.
814
01:02:11,715 --> 01:02:15,024
This is my destiny. Mine!
815
01:02:16,234 --> 01:02:19,431
I'm not supposed to be
attending some college interwiew.
816
01:02:19,634 --> 01:02:24,628
So we got the wrong lives. Sometimes
you just gotta get on with life.
817
01:02:25,394 --> 01:02:27,430
Let things fall into place.
818
01:02:30,434 --> 01:02:31,867
Do me a favour.
819
01:02:32,314 --> 01:02:36,910
Save your inspirational speeches
for someone who gives a damn.
820
01:02:37,114 --> 01:02:38,706
I know who I am.
821
01:02:39,714 --> 01:02:43,866
I'm a loser, I'm trouble and
I'm stupid. Basic genetics.
822
01:02:44,394 --> 01:02:45,873
Can't help it.
823
01:02:48,794 --> 01:02:52,867
Funny. I never took you for a quitter.
824
01:02:55,000 --> 01:03:00,000
Fefe Dobson: Be Strong
825
01:03:57,672 --> 01:03:59,310
You can go in.
826
01:04:05,832 --> 01:04:07,151
Miss Bedworth?
827
01:04:09,712 --> 01:04:11,384
Please take a seat.
828
01:04:14,712 --> 01:04:18,989
One of the qualities we hope for in
any of our students is their passion.
829
01:04:20,191 --> 01:04:23,706
Your turn papers and test
results are exemplary.
830
01:04:23,911 --> 01:04:27,352
But your love and
knowledge of literature...
831
01:04:27,452 --> 01:04:30,100
is rare in a person of your years.
832
01:04:32,871 --> 01:04:35,465
Thank you, but it's an
important part of my life.
833
01:04:37,231 --> 01:04:39,142
Go on.
834
01:04:41,271 --> 01:04:44,502
Poetry, for instance -
835
01:04:45,591 --> 01:04:49,061
I like the way that it can
articulate and express feelings -
836
01:04:49,271 --> 01:04:53,059
complicated and difficult feelings
that you can't express literally.
837
01:05:01,030 --> 01:05:03,146
What about modern literature?
838
01:05:03,550 --> 01:05:08,419
Are there any contemporary writers
and poets you particularly admire?
839
01:05:11,230 --> 01:05:13,664
No. Not really.
840
01:05:16,030 --> 01:05:17,827
Oh. Why is that?
841
01:05:19,230 --> 01:05:21,061
Because they suck?
842
01:05:23,830 --> 01:05:27,709
Welcome everybody to Homecoming,
the biggest game of the year.
843
01:05:28,190 --> 01:05:30,784
Surely if poetry is
no longer relevant -
844
01:05:30,990 --> 01:05:35,063
poets and their art form
are doomed to extincition.
845
01:05:42,470 --> 01:05:45,541
I think that will be all.
846
01:06:00,789 --> 01:06:04,577
Actually, I do like some modern poets.
847
01:06:05,029 --> 01:06:07,179
In fact I love them.
848
01:06:08,549 --> 01:06:11,427
50 Cent, Pete Pablo, Marshal Mathers.
849
01:06:11,629 --> 01:06:13,643
I don't think I'm
familiar with their works.
850
01:06:13,743 --> 01:06:14,860
Well, they're rap artists.
851
01:06:15,069 --> 01:06:16,980
And you consider that to be poetry?
852
01:06:17,189 --> 01:06:19,657
Absolutely. It's urban poetry, sir.
853
01:06:19,869 --> 01:06:24,260
They talk about their lives and
experiences. They can be very brutal -
854
01:06:24,469 --> 01:06:29,667
but often under a coat of humour.
Dark humour. Here, check it out.
855
01:06:31,188 --> 01:06:34,863
Applauds for the home theme.
The Westdale Bay Beavers!
856
01:06:36,668 --> 01:06:38,863
That's my boy!
857
01:06:39,348 --> 01:06:40,781
Applauds for the
quarterback, Woody Deanne!
858
01:06:40,881 --> 01:06:41,259
Woody Deanne!
859
01:06:41,468 --> 01:06:43,902
That's my boy!
860
01:06:47,228 --> 01:06:48,627
Wait!
861
01:07:04,708 --> 01:07:06,460
Here we go!
862
01:07:12,427 --> 01:07:16,386
Number 83, Johnny Chancer.
863
01:07:32,827 --> 01:07:36,103
Hey you, leave him alone or
I'll sock you around!
864
01:07:50,826 --> 01:07:54,023
Touchdown for The Razorbacks, folks!
865
01:08:15,586 --> 01:08:18,498
Touchdown for The Razorbacks.
866
01:08:18,706 --> 01:08:22,255
As they take the lead, 14-0,
early in the fourth quarter.
867
01:08:22,466 --> 01:08:26,903
There's still time folks, as Woody
Deanne takes the play.
868
01:08:45,545 --> 01:08:49,333
12th yard loss. This is
really unusual, folks.
869
01:08:51,225 --> 01:08:53,580
You just messed with the wrong girl.
870
01:08:57,705 --> 01:09:00,378
Hi Nell. I didn't know
football was your bag.
871
01:09:00,585 --> 01:09:03,179
I just came to cheer the team.
872
01:09:03,945 --> 01:09:06,015
We're not doing too good.
873
01:09:14,065 --> 01:09:18,137
That's my boy! He's my boy!
874
01:09:27,464 --> 01:09:31,821
Touchdown for The
Beavers by Harry the Horse!
875
01:09:33,384 --> 01:09:36,820
- Sit your fat arse down!
- Point taken, my good woman.
876
01:09:39,104 --> 01:09:41,572
- Do you want some of the dog?
- Yeah, thanks.
877
01:09:44,304 --> 01:09:45,862
Thanks, dad.
878
01:10:01,343 --> 01:10:04,176
This is it, folks.
Only 5 seconds to go.
879
01:10:04,543 --> 01:10:08,252
Time for one more play. This is
make or break for The Beavers.
880
01:10:13,303 --> 01:10:14,577
Ready?
881
01:10:26,463 --> 01:10:27,532
That's it, girl!
882
01:10:39,222 --> 01:10:40,860
Touchdown!
883
01:10:41,062 --> 01:10:44,293
The Westdale Beavers wins
at the very last moment!
884
01:10:44,502 --> 01:10:49,371
It's a touchdown by Woody
Deanne and The Beavers wins!
885
01:11:02,942 --> 01:11:05,058
What are you waiting here for?
886
01:11:10,302 --> 01:11:13,533
Woody! You're the man!
887
01:11:15,542 --> 01:11:16,816
Thanks.
888
01:11:17,382 --> 01:11:19,498
Great game, son.
889
01:11:19,742 --> 01:11:22,926
- Decided for a college yet?
- I've had my heart set on Yale
890
01:11:23,026 --> 01:11:24,401
since I was a little girl.
891
01:11:24,501 --> 01:11:27,732
That's funny. You know what,
get your parents to give me call.
892
01:11:28,221 --> 01:11:31,054
We're not Yale, but I think you
might like what we have to offer.
893
01:11:31,581 --> 01:11:34,379
- Thank you so much.
- No problem. Great game.
894
01:11:41,261 --> 01:11:44,492
You did it! You were great!
895
01:11:45,221 --> 01:11:47,576
Did you see me out there?
I totally kicked ass!
896
01:11:47,781 --> 01:11:50,534
And the guy back here, he
was a scout. He gave me his card.
897
01:11:51,461 --> 01:11:55,136
- You're going to college. No spatulas.
- I saw.
898
01:11:56,581 --> 01:11:59,334
You know what the best part is?
I totally loved it!
899
01:12:00,021 --> 01:12:03,411
Your adrenaline gets pumping and
the crowd was totally into it.
900
01:12:06,980 --> 01:12:10,370
The interview? Oh my god,
I totally forgot it.
901
01:12:11,260 --> 01:12:12,215
How was it?
902
01:12:13,500 --> 01:12:15,377
It was amazing.
903
01:12:16,100 --> 01:12:17,977
I mean, the place was.
904
01:12:18,180 --> 01:12:21,968
For a moment I really
felt like part of it.
905
01:12:25,260 --> 01:12:26,978
I gave my best shot.
906
01:12:28,540 --> 01:12:30,178
I'm sure you did.
907
01:12:30,660 --> 01:12:32,571
And that's all anyone can ask.
908
01:12:34,060 --> 01:12:37,257
And I tell you something.
They would be lucky -
909
01:12:37,660 --> 01:12:41,335
to have someone like you. Thank you.
910
01:12:42,900 --> 01:12:44,458
Dito.
911
01:12:46,139 --> 01:12:50,052
You know, if I have to spend
my life as someone else -
912
01:12:51,179 --> 01:12:53,056
I'd be honoured to be you.
913
01:12:55,499 --> 01:12:56,818
Dito back at you.
914
01:12:58,019 --> 01:13:00,328
Double double dito.
915
01:13:23,059 --> 01:13:24,492
Woody?
916
01:13:26,019 --> 01:13:29,693
- Hey guys, I'm back!
- What are you talking about, 'back'?
917
01:13:35,298 --> 01:13:39,257
Hey there, Mr. Football hero.
Am I attractive enough for you now?
918
01:13:59,098 --> 01:14:01,035
Please Mrs. Bedworth,
I need to speak to Nell.
919
01:14:01,135 --> 01:14:02,534
She doesn't wish to speak with you.
920
01:14:02,738 --> 01:14:03,887
I have to talk to her!
921
01:14:04,098 --> 01:14:06,094
She isn't going to the dance, Woody,
922
01:14:06,194 --> 01:14:08,728
but she did say she hopes
you have a good time -
923
01:14:09,178 --> 01:14:10,815
with Breanna Bailey.
924
01:14:13,657 --> 01:14:17,013
For just one moment, Woody,
I thought you had changed.
925
01:14:24,537 --> 01:14:28,325
Come on honey, why the sad face?
926
01:14:30,457 --> 01:14:32,095
You got everything we ever wanted.
927
01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:52,000
Dance Yourself to Death:
Life, Not Living
928
01:14:55,976 --> 01:14:59,366
Oh my god! Look at that dress!
929
01:15:14,896 --> 01:15:16,375
So, do you like my dress?
930
01:15:18,176 --> 01:15:21,486
- Yeah, you look nice, Breanna.
- It's so tight, it shows everything.
931
01:15:23,136 --> 01:15:25,127
I had to leave my panties off.
932
01:15:25,816 --> 01:15:27,966
Let's hope you don't
get diarrhoea then.
933
01:15:28,456 --> 01:15:30,526
I'm gonna get some punch.
934
01:15:35,735 --> 01:15:36,929
Harry?
935
01:15:37,695 --> 01:15:38,969
Do you like my dress?
936
01:15:39,455 --> 01:15:40,808
Yeah baby, it looks good on you.
937
01:15:56,215 --> 01:15:57,101
I am so nervous?
938
01:15:57,201 --> 01:15:59,491
Are you kidding me?
You've got this in a bag.
939
01:16:01,015 --> 01:16:03,165
Check the make-up? We won't be a minute.
940
01:16:03,375 --> 01:16:06,208
Woody, straighten your
tie. Photographers!
941
01:16:12,335 --> 01:16:15,452
You know, seeing you in that tuxedo
is making me feel kinda horny.
942
01:16:16,975 --> 01:16:20,171
- Let's do it in the bushes!
- Serious?
943
01:16:20,614 --> 01:16:23,447
Yeah, it'd be like
doing it with James Bond.
944
01:16:23,774 --> 01:16:28,404
You know me: 009/2. License to thrill!
945
01:16:33,654 --> 01:16:34,609
Woody, wait!
946
01:16:35,614 --> 01:16:39,368
You wait over there, then
I'll walk by like Halle Berry -
947
01:16:39,574 --> 01:16:42,042
and then you jump up and grab me.
948
01:16:42,254 --> 01:16:44,085
Not a minute to miss.
949
01:17:00,213 --> 01:17:02,044
Ready when you are baby!
950
01:17:02,613 --> 01:17:04,524
Come and get me!
951
01:17:04,733 --> 01:17:06,371
Chanel?
952
01:17:12,293 --> 01:17:13,965
Goodbye, Mr. Bond.
953
01:17:19,533 --> 01:17:21,330
Halle Berry wouldn't have done that.
954
01:17:22,293 --> 01:17:25,569
Good evening, Westdale Bay!
955
01:17:26,173 --> 01:17:30,052
And the presentation of the
crowns of this year's...
956
01:17:39,093 --> 01:17:40,606
Hi, princess.
957
01:17:43,532 --> 01:17:45,568
So you're not going to the dance?
958
01:17:49,332 --> 01:17:51,004
Does it have anything to do with Woody?
959
01:17:57,492 --> 01:17:58,845
Maybe.
960
01:18:00,812 --> 01:18:02,689
He likes someone else.
961
01:18:03,932 --> 01:18:06,002
But is she a princess?
962
01:18:07,972 --> 01:18:10,611
Anytime soon she'll be a queen.
963
01:18:10,892 --> 01:18:14,362
No contest. Princesses
are younger and prettier -
964
01:18:14,572 --> 01:18:16,642
especially when they're my daughter.
965
01:18:21,452 --> 01:18:23,363
You really like him, don't you?
966
01:18:27,331 --> 01:18:28,605
Me too.
967
01:18:29,731 --> 01:18:32,086
I think he's a good one.
968
01:18:32,811 --> 01:18:34,085
I think you should go.
969
01:18:43,051 --> 01:18:44,404
But I don't have anything to wear.
970
01:18:46,051 --> 01:18:48,121
Just a...
971
01:18:54,571 --> 01:18:56,759
Now, I'm not usually known
for my taste in fashion...
972
01:18:56,859 --> 01:18:58,962
but the young lady in the
store said it was 'dope'.
973
01:18:59,171 --> 01:19:01,162
I have no idea what
that means of course.
974
01:19:05,171 --> 01:19:06,808
It's beautiful.
975
01:19:09,610 --> 01:19:13,728
She said you need these too.
Apparently these are heavy.
976
01:19:15,530 --> 01:19:17,248
For all I know they
could be dope as well.
977
01:19:19,970 --> 01:19:21,369
Thank you!
978
01:19:22,010 --> 01:19:25,844
And the title of Westdale
Bay High Homecoming King -
979
01:19:26,210 --> 01:19:27,563
goes to -
980
01:19:29,050 --> 01:19:32,565
our very own footballing
hero, Woody Deanne!
981
01:19:49,889 --> 01:19:52,562
And now for the biggie -
982
01:19:52,769 --> 01:19:57,843
this year's Westdale
Bay Homecoming Queen is -
983
01:20:00,729 --> 01:20:02,526
Breanna Bailey.
984
01:20:13,889 --> 01:20:17,598
Thank you, Miss Bidermeyer.
Principal Johnson.
985
01:20:18,009 --> 01:20:20,318
And thank you, Westdale Bay!
986
01:20:20,729 --> 01:20:24,005
There are so many people that I
need to share this great honour with.
987
01:20:24,209 --> 01:20:26,219
My mother whose undying support and...
988
01:20:26,319 --> 01:20:28,600
generous attitude
towards cosmetic surgery.
989
01:20:28,809 --> 01:20:30,844
My hair dresser, Georgio Theodopolous -
990
01:20:31,048 --> 01:20:33,861
Thank you, Breanna.
Another round of...
991
01:20:33,961 --> 01:20:37,123
applauds please for
Homecoming King and Queen!
992
01:20:39,000 --> 01:20:44,000
Ozzy Osbourne:
Goodbye to Romance
993
01:21:33,807 --> 01:21:36,776
Shall I compare thee
to a summer's day?
994
01:21:36,876 --> 01:21:39,404
Thou art more lovely and temperate.
995
01:21:40,847 --> 01:21:45,477
Rough winds bla bla bla something. Can't
remember. Yada yada yada.
996
01:21:48,887 --> 01:21:50,320
It's alright.
997
01:21:52,407 --> 01:21:54,398
I'm no Shakespeare -
998
01:21:54,887 --> 01:21:57,764
my guess is Romeo wasn't much
of a quarterback, either, right?
999
01:21:58,966 --> 01:22:00,951
I really wish I had
the most perfect and...
1000
01:22:01,051 --> 01:22:03,084
beautiful words in the
world to say to you -
1001
01:22:03,286 --> 01:22:05,532
cause if I did I'd say them but...
1002
01:22:05,632 --> 01:22:08,963
I'd say how great you make
me feel when I'm with you.
1003
01:22:09,846 --> 01:22:13,964
And how I love that little thing you
do with your nose when you smile.
1004
01:22:15,166 --> 01:22:18,044
How you always correct my
stupid grammar. I hate it.
1005
01:22:18,926 --> 01:22:20,359
But most of all -
1006
01:22:21,206 --> 01:22:26,519
I'd tell you that... you
make me a better person.
1007
01:22:29,366 --> 01:22:30,924
My own person.
1008
01:22:32,686 --> 01:22:35,883
And that's why I know
that this means nothing.
1009
01:22:39,485 --> 01:22:42,158
And you mean everything.
1010
01:22:45,045 --> 01:22:47,036
But hey, I'm just a stupid quarterback.
1011
01:22:48,325 --> 01:22:50,077
I don't know the right words.
1012
01:22:51,725 --> 01:22:54,000
Those were lovely words.
1013
01:22:55,125 --> 01:22:57,116
Perfect words.
1014
01:22:57,685 --> 01:22:59,516
Come here, dumb jock.
1015
01:22:59,965 --> 01:23:02,001
Don't try to stop me, pencil neck.
1016
01:23:05,445 --> 01:23:06,844
Stop that!
1017
01:23:07,725 --> 01:23:09,556
I'm the Homecoming Queen.
1018
01:23:10,205 --> 01:23:11,684
Let's get out of here.
1019
01:23:14,005 --> 01:23:17,475
- I'm the Homecoming Queen.
- And you're a bitch!
1020
01:23:18,685 --> 01:23:20,754
Nice ass, baby! How
about a little swirl?
1021
01:23:23,000 --> 01:23:28,000
Girls Aloud: I Think
We're Alone Now (Background Music)
1022
01:23:42,724 --> 01:23:45,796
Did I miss this? Did Woody Deanne win?
1023
01:23:51,644 --> 01:23:53,919
Sweet lord!
1024
01:24:09,883 --> 01:24:11,635
So, how are we gonna do this?
1025
01:24:12,603 --> 01:24:15,481
You're going to your chicken
shit college and me going to Yale.
1026
01:24:18,963 --> 01:24:23,400
You did it. It came this morning.
Congratulations!
1027
01:24:24,123 --> 01:24:26,079
You got in?
1028
01:24:27,523 --> 01:24:29,002
Oh my god, I did it!
1029
01:24:29,203 --> 01:24:32,275
Me and you did really good, huh?
1030
01:24:33,203 --> 01:24:34,158
You and me.
1031
01:24:35,203 --> 01:24:36,556
Or -
1032
01:24:36,883 --> 01:24:38,032
I?
1033
01:24:38,243 --> 01:24:40,677
Will you just kiss me already?
1034
01:24:41,283 --> 01:24:43,035
Yes, mam.
1035
01:24:44,000 --> 01:24:49,000
James Blunt High (Background Music)
1036
01:25:23,082 --> 01:25:26,710
You can not be serious? A year of
sabbatical? We're talking about Yale -
1037
01:25:26,921 --> 01:25:29,355
for heavens sake, Yale!
1038
01:25:31,201 --> 01:25:33,920
I know mum. But what the heck?
1039
01:26:06,681 --> 01:26:09,069
If I may quote Snoop Dog:
1040
01:26:10,720 --> 01:26:12,358
Let's get it started!
1041
01:26:13,000 --> 01:26:16,500
Black Eyed Peas:
Let's Get It Started (Background Music)
1042
01:26:16,960 --> 01:26:18,632
Dope, huh?
1043
01:26:18,920 --> 01:26:20,876
See what I'm saying?
1044
01:26:21,080 --> 01:26:23,674
Actually, I'm not sure
if this is Snoop -
1045
01:26:23,880 --> 01:26:28,431
it could be One Eyed Peas or 38 Cents.
1046
01:26:29,680 --> 01:26:31,750
I'm down with it anyway, bitch.
1047
01:26:32,305 --> 01:26:38,813
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