All language subtitles for Girlfriends Guide to Divorce 1x13

Previously on Girlfriends'
Guide to Divorce...

I know you guys are getting a divorce.

We're not getting a divorce.

Abby, yes, we are.

I only want to see you.

Does that make you my boyfriend?

We know you're not a shoplifter.

Who are you trying to protect?

The only way out of our situation

is if I'm at least open
to the casual encounter.

Abby McCarthy, this is Kori Wingo.

The photographer. Oh,
my God, I love your work.

That's a hot photo.

- Kind of looks like you.
- It's not.

I'm a divorce attorney.

I see it all the time.

Love turns to contempt.

Sometimes.

That's not the only story.

I'm so jealous of whoever
gets you next because, I mean,

I was in the trenches
doing all that hard stuff,

and whoever gets you next
is just gonna get the win.

Sold. Hot mama takes it down.

What was that about?

This isn't gonna work.

I just can't live up to your expectations.

You supported me in a lot of ways,

and it occurred to me

that I never actually thanked you for that.

Oh, my God.

- Well, that's Will.

RULE # 101
KNOW WHEN IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON

So you've adopted a Nepalese dog?

More like a Nepalese
creature that minored in rat

and majored in dog.

Basically, he's tiny and ferocious.

- Charlie, morning.
- Hey, butthead.

- Hey, Charlie.
- That's okay.

We have agreed that's gonna be my nickname.

Oh, really? Did you now?

That's so interesting.
Charlie, come back here.

Uh-oh.

No cartoons until you've
at least had some milk.

- All right, buddy?
- Ugh, milk, it's too white.

- It's too white?
- Very white.

Is your sister still sleeping?

Duh, she's a teenager.

Mmm.

- So stupid.
- Duh.

Oh, my God, this is amazing.

So is that, by the way.

I meant to tell you,

this necklace is absolutely beautiful.

Thank you.

Um, Jake just gave it to me.

- Did he?
- Yeah.

That's very magnanimous of him.

That is so funny,

because I used that word in
our divorce settlement meeting

because it is all done.

We are signing this week.

- Let's celebrate.
- Yes, we should.

- No kids this weekend, right?
- No, they're with Jake.

So let's drive down to Baja.

No, no, no, not the "Senor
Frogs, papas y beer" Baja.

I have a friend who runs a posada

on this private little stretch of beach.

And we can spend the
day sunning and reading.

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce
S01E13

So HuffPost is telling me
I have super-high Q scores.

Q for quite awesome?

Q for quotient.

I don't know what that means. Q for good.

And Cat says she thinks a
book deal is around the corner.

- All right.
- Mm-hmm.

♪ And my boyfriend ♪

♪ Is taking me to a
private beach this weekend ♪

- Nice.
- Yeah.

You get the big Q, the
books, the hot fetus,

and I get to take my kid to
her first shrink session. Whoo!

What are we doing here, anyway?
It's not even a real lake,

and people are acting like
they're too hip to sweat.

Not everyone.

Ooh, I like the east side.

So much to see over here.

♪ The love that we share ♪

Um, Phoebe, are you and
Marco still on the outs?

Because there is a live one

to my right that keeps looking over at you.

Oh, outs, outs.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm good.

I'm just tired.

You know what we need?
We need to have some fun.

- How about a fiesta?
- Yes.

A celebration for ditching the deadbeats.

- A divorce party?
- A fiesta.

Oh, no, I don't think so.

Yeah, come on. Mark the milestone, Abby.

A little bit of tequila and maybe,

like, burning a Jake-shaped effigy?

Mama, you need this.

It's really important to mark this moment.

I don't know.

Thank you very much for the idea, but no.

I... I just want to stay positive.

I want to focus on this...

Good divorce.

- Do I say that a lot?
- No.

That's embarrassing.

I've never heard that before in my life.

Okay, well, you guys are all off the hook.

No more happy divorce talk,

because I'm gonna give my brother a hug.

No, really? Is that good?

Well, I mean, the client's
always right, so...

Okay, Duncan, you think everything is sexy.

Um,

uh, yeah.

Yeah, me too. Bye.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Wow. Who was that, Flirty Pants?

Just calm down. It's a work thing.

It was the Getty guy.

Getty guy? Oh, that guy that kissed you.

Not like that.

They loved my plans for the south terrace,

and I'm in.

- That's incredible.
- It is, it is.

- So what's going on with you?
- Oh.

- I've reached out.
- I know, sorry.

We... we've both been, like, crazy busy.

- Are things better?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

It's all love and trust and
forgiveness at our place and...

It's a longer conversation.

- Look, I got to run, Abs.
- Come on.

I'll... I'll call you, promise.

Anouk, Luco, over here.

Um, they forgot their backpacks.

- See, big smile.
- Hey, Kori.

Kori? Hello, Kori?

- Oh.
- What are you doing?

You're not supposed to take
pictures of other people's kids.

- School rules.
- It's for the school.

They asked me to. It's for the yearbook.

- Hey, Mom.
- Hi, Mom.

Wow. Hey, hey, honeys. How are you?

You forgot your backpacks.

- Sorry, Mom.
- Sorry.

They are beautiful, by the way.

Not a surprise.

I don't give you permission to
take pictures of my kids, Kori.

Hey, hey,

I thought we left things
in a good place, you know?

I just... I feel like

you've got some unfinished
business with me.

Wow, unfinished business?

Is that... Is that what you call it?

Okay, wow. You know what?

I have been really cool
to you since we got here,

and all I'm getting from
you is hostility, so...

Hey, sweetie, hang on, just
one... couple more, okay?

Stay right there, all right? Thank you.

You know what, I don't want
you to take pictures, Kori.

Did you not listen to me? I said stop.

Would you just stop?
You're not listening to me.

Hey, are you... Are you listening to me?

I said stop!

Whoa, what is your problem?

Don't touch me! You are!

You are my problem!

Do you not get that?

God.

- Come on.
- Wow.

Let's go. Just go.

It's all right. It's all right, children.

- Okay...
- Stay away from my children.

It's okay.

Wow. She's totally insane.

Oh, my God.

Okay, now that we have
settled Camp Pontiac...

Oh, actually, I changed my mind on that.

I don't want them... I don't
want them going there at all.

Y-you what?

- I'm kidding. I'm fine.

- Or course, right?
- Right.

We are good on everything.

Then we will have it written up.

We'll messenger it over to Abby.

She'll sign it. Then
we'll send it over to Jake.

Then we file, and...

- Sign it away.
- That's that.

That's that.

- That's that.
- Okay.

- Okay.
- I got to go.

- Jake, talk to you soon.
- All right. Thank you.

- Abby...
- Oh, thanks.

I just want to say that
I was very impressed

at the way you two handled yourselves.

- Well, there you go.
- I know.

Delia, a pleasure as always.

Okay, I need to borrow
this one for a moment.

- Oh, okay.
- Bye.

Bye.

Hey, you, awesome divorce.

We kicked divorce ass.

You okay? Need some water?

- Scotch?
- No.

- Scotch and water?
- I'm fine.

I feel relieved.

'Cause last week, you
were decidedly not fine.

I just want to get through this.

I want to move on.

Yeah.

How's your love life?

The same.

I just want to get through
this partnership meeting.

Once that's settled,
maybe I can think about it.

Yeah, well, break a leg

or break a brief; I
don't know what you break.

Break something. Break something good.

Oh, hey, I got the invite
to your divorce party.

No, I didn't say I was
gonna... I didn't say I was...

Are we really gonna
paintball your wedding dress?

Holy shit.

All right.

Great, thank you.

Okay.

What?

Um...

A book deal.

- Mom!
- I know.

Does this mean I can get the new iPhone?

Um, I... I...

- I'm kidding.
- Okay.

Mom, I told you, I don't want anything.

You have to eat something.

I am not hungry.

I'll wait in the car.

Oh, my God.

I'll go talk to her.

Did she just found out about therapy?

Are you okay?

No. Distract me.

Distract you, okay, I have a few things.

There is a bidding war

on Girlfriends' Guide
to Divorce, a book deal.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.

And this divorce party you're throwing me,

I never said you could do that.

You said I could throw you a divorce party.

- I was not sure.
- Yes, you did.

Which is what everybody says.

Nobody wants to be all,
"Wah, make me a party."

- You know you want it.
- Are you kidding me?

Are you telling me that "maybe"
means "yes" in your world?

That is a very dangerous concept

- in many circumstances.
- It's gonna be fun.

Phoebe gave me a list of
all the cool moms at school.

There are no cool moms at our school.

I didn't realize there
are so many cool moms.

- There are zero cool moms.
- Yeah, there are.

There are, like, 20, 30, 40, 50.

- I sent out all the invites.
- Oh, my God.

Fine, celebrate me, but I
am against it officially.

I refuse to enjoy it.

A toast to Ms. Delia here,

our very own pit bull in Manolos.

Hear, hear.

To know her is to love her and to fear her.

Thank you. It has always been my dream.

Well, as you might have guessed,

we have some good news for you.

You don't get champagne
and flowers with bad news.

Your work has been outstanding,

and getting Gordon back on
board made this a no-brainer.

We're making you a partner.

Thank you.

Thank you. I am thrilled.
What are the terms?

Well, non-equity to start,

and a three-year non-compete
clause, so if you leave...

Wait, wait, wait, Ed Roe
got full equity partnership

last year, and he's been
here three years less than me.

Delia, come on.

Am I to understand that
he's more valuable than me?

- Look at our billable hours.
- Of course not. You are valu...

This deal that you're offering

asks me to sign away
three years of my freedom.

For what?

Partnership at this firm

is a game changer
regardless of the financials.

O'Melveny has been trying
to poach me for a year

as an equity partner.

You have 24 hours to either
take this girl seriously,

or I'm done.

Delia.

Wow.

Sorry. Sorry.

I'm so sorry.

What were you saying
about separation anxiety?

Right, it sounds like Zooey
was removed from the family home

pretty abruptly.

Does that feel right to you?

I do think that I've been
feeling a bit, um, invisible.

Maybe that contributed to...

Okay, but you understand why
I want to get her out of there

with that crazy-ass father of hers? Hello.

Mom, you're rightfully mad at Zooey's dad.

- Yeah.
- But it's not helpful for her

to have you calling him names
or speaking badly about him.

Oh, man, has... has that ship sailed.

I mean, hello?

I'm Puerto Rican, so we
curse out inanimate objects.

I mean, you know, we're passionate people.

- Right, understood, but...
- We love hard,

and we hate hard, and
Zooey knows that about me,

and her father, he's white,

but he's a Jew.

So he's still nuts.

- Mom, I hear you.
- Yeah.

But let's let Zooey talk
and you listen, okay?

All right.

Thank you so much.

Ooh, heavy.

Not just emotionally.

Divorce papers.

♪ ♪

All right.

♪ You dirty love ♪

♪ You've taken all my money ♪

♪ Sold me to somebody ♪

Whoo.

♪ You dirty love ♪

♪ Put your gun back down ♪

♪ You're a bad boy now ♪

♪ But I want you ♪

♪ Dirty love ♪

♪ ♪

Is it true what Mom says about Dad and Mom?

Is there a lot of yelling and fighting?

It's true, but I mostly
trained myself to tune it out.

Hmm.

But even when we try to tune stuff out,

a little always gets in, right?

Hi, over here.

Don't tell me this is

one of these "blame the parents" things.

Okay? You know what that makes?

Victims.

Deepak Chopra.

Hey, Mom, this thing is about
understanding Zooey's feelings,

because when we pretend we don't have them,

these feelings express themselves anyway,

like in the form of a cry
for help, like shoplifting.

Now, I'd like to talk to Zooey alone.

It smells awfully good in
here for a business meeting.

Oh, trust me, it's gonna
be one of those dinners

where we debate the virtues
of calystegia macrostegia

versus lathyrus laetiflorus alefeldii.

Mmm, I love when you speak floral to me.

Well, now you do, because I'm leaving,

when in real life, it
just bores you to death.

I'll, um, text you if
it's gonna be a late one.

Harris, he turns, fakes.

Ssss.

And that's good.

Hello?

Hi.

Hey, what's up?

I'm just sitting here with the papers,

and, um, this is gonna sound weird.

You're getting turned on?
Legalese makes you horny?

Look, man, call your boy
toy. I can't help you.

No, um, I just thought, uh,

that it might be easier if you
and I signed these together,

preferably with some alcohol in hand?

Mark the moment?

You mean, like, a "we got in this together,

let's get out of it together" thing?

Yeah. Right?

Is that weird?

I'm sorry. That's...

I'm just gonna sign them. It's...

No, no, no, I like it.

Let's do it. When and where?

I'll... I'll talk to you tomorrow.

- Okay.
- Okay, bye.

♪ ♪

Oh, that was a good one.

Pheebs? Hey.

I didn't see you at drop-off this morning,

and you're not answering your phone.

What's going on?

Mama says it's a snow day.

Oh, yeah? That's fun.

- So what's up?
- Nothing.

The kids are sick, that's all.

The kids are not sick.

The kids are fine.

They're robust, even.

Look, Marco came to my house...

- What?
- Last night.

- That's random. We broke up.
- I know.

He was worried, and quite frankly, so am I.

Everyone at school's
talking about the fight

you had with Kori.

Hey, you can say anything to me.

Anything.

Kori and I...

Back in the day...

I did some bad things.

Some really bad things.

Okay.

Hey, come here.

You guys have such a
good day at school, okay?

- I love you, Mama.
- Okay.

I love you too.

Thank you.

Enough of the mushy stuff. Go to class.

- Bye, Mama.
- Bye.

I'm proud of you.

It's just...

Kori... She's a player,

and she is gonna spin this
and make me look crazier

than I already look.

Which is exactly why
you're gonna go in there

and explain why you did what you did.

And by the way, you did nothing wrong.

She did.

You got this.

Thank you.

Okay.

We have your back, honey, always.

You're not alone.

No one's ever said that to me.

Well, Jesus, it is about time somebody did.

Thank you.

So good.

You put a clock on it?

Yes, 25 hours from the meeting,

which is about an hour from now.

God, those guys would be jackasses

to lose you to O'Melveny.

And plus, it'd be a one-two
punch, 'cause I'd go with you.

- But about my offer...
- Hmm.

- Thoughts?
- I want to counter.

Of course you do.

Marriage is...

Once people are legally bound,
this kind of apathy sets in.

It's just... the chase is off,
and the next thing you know,

you're screaming about toilet paper.

Think about you and Courtney. This happens.

That's not a counter.

That's a statement.

I have been hurt.

So it is difficult for me

because of my prior romantic relationship

to trust my own emotions.

You were blindsided?

Completely, mm-hmm.

If, in fact, I can trust my emotions,

then the facts are that

I am in love with you...

Madly.

I want to be with you
for the rest of our lives.

Delia...

Just not as man and wife.

I want to show my devotion to
you by sharing a home with you

and a life with you and
possibly even a child,

but I don't ever want
to take you for granted

and vice versa.

Well, thank you

for helping me understand,

but my answer is no.

I'm not... I'm not trying to play hardball.

I wish I could be content with that,

but I'm a traditional guy.

I want you to be my wife.

I want the whole world to know
that I'm yours and you're mine.

So it's your way or the highway?

I wouldn't say it like that.

It's more like two people
who want different things.

I should get dressed.

Hey.

For the record,

I never felt about Courtney
the way I feel about you.

Oh.

How is it that Jo is throwing you a party

which is really for Jo, and
she's not even here to help?

I wasn't even invited, so...

Aww.

That's 'cause it's a girl party.

- Oh, how dare you?
- Hey!

I came to help with the party,

and I bring booze, of
which I sampled in the Uber.

So day drinking... Good news, bad news?

Both! So I get to double drink.

I just got the call.

I made partner with an equity
share and no non-compete.

- Wow.
- What?

- And I'm single.
- Oh.

- Oh, Delia.
- Pfft.

Uh, you know what? I'm gonna get going.

- I've got to go pack for Baja.
- Right.

And I've got to meet Jake

in a little while
anyways, sign those papers.

Oh, they're gonna have
a paper-signing date.

It's not a date.

- No, no, not a date.
- It's not a date.

Because I just do! Why
do you need to understand?

Because I'm not putting
you on a plane to crazy town

- until I do, okay?
- I want to see Dad.

Okay, your dad's with
that bitch Charlene, okay?

They're in the South. You're gonna hate it.

Mother, I just want to visit him,

and you act like I'm abandoning you!

- You are.
- No, I'm not.

That man doesn't deserve your loyalty.

Forget it, okay?

- Lilly's waiting.
- Great.

I'm sorry you had to witness that.

"Try therapy."

This is all your fault, you know that?

It's all your fault.

Wow.

This place really cleans up.

Downtown, right?

Hi.

This was one of our secret spots.

Now it's so cool, it's kind of over, right?

We... yeah. A vodka soda.

With a twist.

Well done, monsieur.

- All right.
- Yeah.

- Here we go.
- Yup.

Should we just drink first?

Yeah, let's have a drink, sure.

- That would be nice.
- Yes.

Cheers.

- What did Jo say?
- She says... in that Jo way...

She ways, "I would rather
eat shit than that."

No, she said "farts."

No, that doesn't make any
sense. Nobody eats farts.

No, because it's scatologically incorrect,

- and that's why I remember it.
- Whatever, fine.

- The point is...
- Besides that it was gross.

Our first date, Jo and
Frumpkis were there with us.

I mean, how weird is that? How romantic.

Yeah, but that wasn't a date.

Come on, technically, in New York,

we were just hooking up.

- Eh.
- Yes.

Our first date was not until
you moved to Los Angeles.

Oh, okay, Frumpkis-free, you're saying?

All right, we're avoiding
and torturing ourselves.

Yeah, come on, whip out the special pen.

Oh, yeah, that's what she said.

- What?
- What?

Got to say ladies first.

♪ ♪

- What?
- That was... The night was the night,

the same night as that epic walk.

When you lost your car keys
and then we just wandered.

Yes.

Forever.

- I lied. I didn't lose them.
- Oh, really?

I just didn't want to take you home.

Mm-hmm.

- Ahh.
- You feel better?

Ah, like a weight is
lifted off my shoulders.

You know, you wouldn't sleep with me in LA

although we had had sex all
over the island of Manhattan.

Because I was starting to really like you,

and I didn't want to
blow it with sex brain.

You know how that can be.

It was a new city.

It was a new start.

Yeah.

The things we try to do right.

Yet here we are...

stumbling into the unknown in our 40s.

Getting along better than we have in years.

It's probably because we aren't married.

Not anymore.

Hey.

Hey.

You busy?

Yeah, I've got to change and get to Abby's.

Yeah, I heard.

Jo had me drop off some
stuff for the party,

carrots and celery 'cause I'm a farmer.

I'm sorry.

I need to apologize to you again.

I'm just taking stuff out on
you that is so not about you.

You want to tell me what it is about?

I told you I left home
when I was really young.

Mm-hmm.

Look, I want you to understand

that the business isn't always like this,

but there is a part of it
that preys on people like me.

I was young and lost and broken,

and Kori was this famous photographer,

and she ran in a really bad circle.

It's not a big deal.

I mean, it happens to women all the time.

What happens?

If the photographer liked you,

sometimes you were
required to party with them

because that's what would get you jobs

and make you money and make you famous.

Phoebe, we don't have
to talk about this now.

No, I need to talk about this.

Are you sure?

Yes.

I was 14.

And Kori decided that she liked me.

And I was shy, you know,
and so she fed me pills

and drinks to loosen me up.

And she would take me places
and introduce me to people,

and I don't really remember what happened.

And sometimes afterwards,
I would see photos.

There were so many photos.

I don't...

I wasn't even there.

- I'm so sorry.
- And nobody stopped it.

Nobody cared, and we were children.

Come here, babe.

Shh.

It's okay, Phoebe.

You know, Will seems like
a solid, very young guy.

- He is.
- He does. He does.

He is. I mean, I feel like I'm
dating a time bomb, you know?

One day it's just gonna go
off, and he's gonna be all,

"Dude, you're old."

Ha! I know the feeling.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- So, uh, here's some news.
- Mm?

Remember Joseph Gordon-Levitt
dropped out of my thing

because he was gonna do the
Rian Johnson Ukraine movie?

Yeah.

So Rian Johnson dropped
out of the Ukraine project.

Joe thought of me and talked
to the producers, and...

Joe, really? Oh, my God.

He goes by Joe, okay?

Joseph Gordon-Levitt thought of me

and talked to the producers,

and they liked my ideas, and they want me.

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.

- So...
- Hey.

Oh, thank you.

- Thank you.
- Oh, my God.

Right, so tight budget, tight schedule.

Yeah.

I'm gonna be scouting
locations in three weeks.

In Ukraine?

In Latvia, and it's a four-month shoot.

I'll be back as much as I can be, but...

Okay, wow.

Amazing. Impeccable timing.

Not heard from her in weeks,

but here she is.

Oh, just babes to the babes, right?

- Yeah, I guess so.
- Four months.

- Four. Wow.
- And I was not gonna commit

until I talked to you first, obviously.

You have to do this.

Yeah.

Thank you.

- What?
- I'm so proud of you.

- Why the tears?
- I just...

I don't know.

I just... you gone and kids missing you.

Yeah.

Me missing you.

Everything's changing.

Yeah.

Sorry. It's really awesome.

- No, don't apologize.
- It's really awesome.

Don't apologize.

I got to get back
because Jo's gonna kill me

if I don't get home soon.

- Let me walk you to your car.
- Okay.

Mm.

So...

So...

Well, congratulations again.

- Talk to you later.
- Okay.

Hey, Jake?

Just so you know, the
night of the epic walk...

Mm-hmm?

I actually knew that
you didn't lose your keys

because I felt them in your pocket.

Why didn't you say anything?

Because I didn't want the night to end.

Okay.

Okay. Abby?

Yeah?

Just because we signed the papers

doesn't mean we have to file them.

What?

Maybe this is what we needed,

time apart to figure our own shit out

and become Jake and Abby 2.0,

better versions of ourselves, of us.

I'm saying, what if we gave
this thing one more shot?

Are you okay?

How can you... we just...

Now, we're done.

And you say this now.

You can't really be surprised.

Surprised? I'm stunned.

I am... I am appalled.

Appalled, that's a word.

All I wanted was for us to stay together!

I begged you to give it a chance.

Yeah, while you hated my guts.

And you hated my guts,

but it was not me who told the kids

we were getting a divorce.

- I know, and that...
- You took that leap, Jake.

- That was then.
- I did not do that.

That was then.

Tell me that living apart
hasn't been a game changer.

That is not the way to save a marriage.

You don't know that.

I'm talking about how I feel now,

and you have been giving
me some serious vibes.

I have not.

Oh, come on, this has been hard for me,

but I am over you, Jake.

I have a wonderful new man in my life.

Uh-huh, and that's why
you wanted to meet tonight.

And that's why you wanted
me to kiss you the night

- of the fund-raiser... -
I... kiss you? I didn't...

After I gave you that necklace

- that you're wearing.
- Yeah.

You totally wanted me to kiss you.

Oh, my God, wanting you to
kiss me is very different

than me trying to kiss you.

Uh-huh. Okay, how about this?

"I'm jealous of whoever gets you next"?

Yes, because I am. Because I am.

Guess what. It's not gonna be me.

That's why. You know why?

Because we literally tore our lives apart,

and we have devastated our children.

Who would have been even
maybe more screwed up

- if we had stayed together...
- Oh, my God.

The way that we were.

There's no handbook.

You're not the answer lady...

I'm not trying to be the answer lady!

Marriage is not a
one-size-fits-all deal, okay?

I don't know. You don't know.

All I know is that I am still...

And screw me, I probably always
will be... in love with you.

- You are mean.
- Mean?

You are mean. You know what this is?

- This is last-minute
jitters. - No.

And as usual, you are being
impulsive and childish.

You know why Becca broke up with me?

Because I'm not over you,
and you're not over me either.

- Enough.
- Everybody knows it.

Stop. You know what I'm gonna do right now?

I'm gonna go back to my
house to my divorce party

because we are getting a divorce, okay?

Case closed.

♪ I'm gonna scream it to the sky ♪

♪ And pound my fists against the wall ♪

♪ There's only one way ♪

This is awesome, but we're missing

one very important thing.

Yeah, I noticed.

Maybe all of those times

she said she didn't want
us to throw her a party,

she really didn't want
us to throw her a party.

What?

Hi.

Hey, Abby.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Where's that goddamn gun?

Oh, my God, that's hilarious.

I know you've been wanting to do this.

I knew you wouldn't listen
to me when I said no.

Absolutely not, baby. Absolutely not.

- Oh, my Gosh.
- It was the '90s.

- It was the '90s.
- Shoot the '90s.

There you go.

Oh, thank you.

Bye-bye, dress.

All right.

- There you go.
- Do it.

Bull's-eye!

Yeah.

♪ ♪

♪ There's a Chinese cigarette case ♪

♪ And the rest you can keep ♪

♪ There's a hole in my neighborhood ♪

♪ Down which of late ♪

♪ I cannot help but fall ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Someday we'll be drinking
with the seldom seen kid ♪

Last round, which rightfully
goes to our divorce Sherpa,

Abby McCarthy.

- Ow!
- Thank you.

I am gonna take this bitch down.

You okay?

Uh...

What? Abby, what is it?

It's so beautiful.

- What is she talking about?
- Shh, shh, shh.

It's better.

I mean, nobody can live
up to the all-white,

happily-ever-after
wedding gown

because ultimately it's you,

it's the one you love,

a lot of hard work,

and a gamble.

Better odds than Vegas.

You really think so?

I hope so.

I have... I have to go somewhere.

- Yeah. Okay.
- Okay.

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

What just happened?

Oh!

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

♪ You're my
hand-me-down jean ♪

♪ I'm your warranted queen ♪

♪ My mouth on your spoon ♪

♪ Good night red balloon ♪

♪ Red balloon ♪

♪ ♪

♪ You play your cards
with a mystery face ♪

♪ And use your golden grace ♪

You lost your keys, huh?

You got my text?

Yeah.

Oh, no.

Yeah, crazy, right? Totally stuck here.

Yeah.

Thanks for the do-over.

I...

♪ ♪

♪ But it's all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ It's all right, it's all right ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I can hear your heart beat ♪

♪ For a thousand miles ♪

- Hey.
- Hey.

Oh, my God.

Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.

Stop seducing me. You got to go.

♪ Yeah, and I'm running to you ♪

How are you doing?

I am better.

Turns out talking about your feelings

and screaming while shooting
a paintball gun really helps.

- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

Good.

♪ You got a fine sense of humor ♪

♪ When I'm feeling low down ♪

- Morning, gorgeous.
- Mmm.

♪ When I come to you
when the sun goes down ♪

I still love you.

And screw me, I probably always will.

I know.

I love you too.

♪ Like a thief ♪

♪ You give me love, love, love, love ♪

♪ Crazy love ♪

♪ You give me love, love, love, love ♪

How does it feel to be
almost Mrs. Delia Beech?

Wait a minute.

You don't really expect me
to take your name, do you?

- The kids.
- They're still asleep.

- You're in the clear.
- That's funny.

How did I become the
one sneaking in and out?

I know.

My master plan worked.

Diabolical.

Yup, this is she.

What?

That is outrageous.

It's not exactly unprecedented.

Yeah, but I have my own name.

I have a career.

♪ It makes me feel whole ♪

♪ And it makes me mellow ♪

♪ Down in my soul ♪

What's up?

Kori is pressing civil charges.

♪ You give me love, love, love, love ♪

- We shouldn't say anything.
- No, not yet.

I mean, we don't know what it is.

Yeah.

Except incredible.

♪ Crazy love ♪

You still mad at me?

No.

Hmm.

I'm sorry for not hearing your feelings.

When you say it like that,
it sounds like you're...

You know me, come on. I'm
just... I'm scared, kid.

I'm scared.

And I want you to come back to me,

even though I'm a crazy person.

Dad's way crazier.

Yeah.

I just need to see what
he left us for, you know?

Okay.

You, I am told, are your own person.

So I can go?

Yeah.

Thank you.

I love you.

I love you more.

Hey.

Hey.

I thought we were supposed to meet, so...

Sorry, I... yeah.

Uh, I got you a Mexican hot chocolate.

We should talk about Baja.

Yeah.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Just... I just got all
your messages, sorry.

Yeah, I've been trying to
reach you since last night.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's been a crazy few days.

Tell me about it.

So I was late, and I peed on a stick.

♪ And my heart is ripped out ♪

♪ And thrown on the floor ♪

♪ There's no pieces
to pick up anymore ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Give me faith, come on, love ♪

♪ Love, love, love ♪

♪ Love, love, love ♪

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce
S01E13