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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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[grunting]
3
00:00:06,247 --> 00:00:07,945
[woman] Yeah. Oh, yeah.
There we go.
4
00:00:07,947 --> 00:00:09,615
No, no, no, let's not...
5
00:00:09,617 --> 00:00:10,851
Take your shirt off, little boy.
6
00:00:11,251 --> 00:00:12,287
Oh, yeah.
7
00:00:13,553 --> 00:00:15,623
- [man] Okay, this is...
- [woman] Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
8
00:00:15,989 --> 00:00:18,760
- I just needed the toilet.
- Just pee your pants.
9
00:00:20,327 --> 00:00:21,459
- Stop it.
- Oh, yeah.
10
00:00:21,461 --> 00:00:22,461
- No.
- Yes!
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00:00:22,463 --> 00:00:23,828
- No.
- Yes!
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00:00:23,830 --> 00:00:25,596
[grunting and moaning]
13
00:00:25,598 --> 00:00:26,934
You shut up, you baby.
14
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:28,635
Yeah. Shut up! Shut up!
15
00:00:29,903 --> 00:00:31,035
Oh, here, look at the butterfly.
You gotta look at the butterfly.
16
00:00:31,037 --> 00:00:32,703
Now look at the butterfly.
Now look at the butterfly.
17
00:00:32,705 --> 00:00:33,971
Look at the butterfly.
Oh!
18
00:00:33,973 --> 00:00:36,642
Ooh, look at the butterfly.
Ooh! [laughs]
19
00:00:36,644 --> 00:00:39,681
[man] For the record,
I did not sign up for this.
20
00:00:40,580 --> 00:00:43,751
This is not the sort of situation I
would typically choose to be in.
21
00:00:44,851 --> 00:00:46,584
Just thought
that you should know that.
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00:00:46,586 --> 00:00:48,053
[woman laughing]
23
00:00:48,055 --> 00:00:49,223
- Help!
- Oh, yeah.
24
00:00:49,589 --> 00:00:51,659
[pop song playing]
25
00:01:00,501 --> 00:01:02,903
[man rapping]
26
00:01:38,504 --> 00:01:39,473
[song ends]
27
00:01:44,444 --> 00:01:45,679
Hello there, I'm Elliot.
28
00:01:46,613 --> 00:01:48,548
This is my village. In England.
29
00:01:49,682 --> 00:01:51,885
It all started one summer.
30
00:01:52,786 --> 00:01:57,425
I'd just graduated university and I
had to move back in with my mother.
31
00:02:05,899 --> 00:02:08,303
I was having a bit of a
tough time finding a job.
32
00:02:09,903 --> 00:02:11,638
Oh, and I was recently dumped.
33
00:02:13,741 --> 00:02:16,043
So, yeah, the first days of adult
life were looking promising.
34
00:02:18,578 --> 00:02:21,079
Wakey-wakey,
hands off your snakey.
35
00:02:21,081 --> 00:02:22,583
I'm not... Mom, morning.
36
00:02:23,983 --> 00:02:26,854
You're not looking at those
smutty sites, are you?
37
00:02:27,053 --> 00:02:30,588
Like FuckTube and YouTug.
38
00:02:30,590 --> 00:02:32,793
Ugh. No. Why have you even
heard of things like that?
39
00:02:33,059 --> 00:02:35,629
There's a better girl out there for
you, darling. Don't you worry.
40
00:02:36,830 --> 00:02:39,164
I always thought Alison
was a bit of a whore anyway.
41
00:02:39,166 --> 00:02:40,501
Mom!
42
00:02:40,733 --> 00:02:42,536
Just a mother's intuition.
Anyway...
43
00:02:43,636 --> 00:02:47,474
I want to tell you that I've
met a lovely American chap.
44
00:02:47,673 --> 00:02:50,477
- What?
- Yes. At the convention in Chicago.
45
00:02:50,910 --> 00:02:54,579
We met in the bar and he bedded
me in his room that night.
46
00:02:54,581 --> 00:02:56,684
- And I'm going to marry him.
- What?
47
00:02:56,916 --> 00:02:58,817
Now, don't get over-excited.
48
00:02:58,819 --> 00:03:00,685
I'm not getting over-excited,
49
00:03:00,687 --> 00:03:03,555
I'm just hoping this is a joke
or something.
50
00:03:03,557 --> 00:03:06,027
- A weird joke.
- Honestly.
51
00:03:06,860 --> 00:03:10,528
He's the first man since your father
left to make me feel pleasure.
52
00:03:10,530 --> 00:03:12,497
That's completely unnecessary.
53
00:03:12,499 --> 00:03:13,931
Honestly, I've been
craving a man.
54
00:03:13,933 --> 00:03:15,599
Then please stop
being honest, Mom.
55
00:03:15,601 --> 00:03:17,971
He's a lovely chap,
you're going to really like him.
56
00:03:19,071 --> 00:03:20,171
Is he here?
57
00:03:20,173 --> 00:03:22,039
Oh, no,
you're going to meet him.
58
00:03:22,041 --> 00:03:23,541
What are you on about?
59
00:03:23,543 --> 00:03:25,112
- He's bought you a ticket.
- [spits]
60
00:03:25,779 --> 00:03:27,081
- Where?
- To America.
61
00:03:27,748 --> 00:03:29,080
- Really?
- Yes.
62
00:03:29,082 --> 00:03:31,883
- Where?
- Bismarck, North Dakota.
63
00:03:31,885 --> 00:03:33,451
Oh, where the hell is that?
64
00:03:33,453 --> 00:03:35,687
Well, now,
I've heard it's a lovely place.
65
00:03:35,689 --> 00:03:38,556
They call it
"The Orlando of the North."
66
00:03:38,558 --> 00:03:41,193
Without the Disneyland or the
tropical weather, of course.
67
00:03:41,195 --> 00:03:43,228
- What?
- So, you'll stay there for a while,
68
00:03:43,230 --> 00:03:46,164
I'll be here
and wrap up stuff at work
69
00:03:46,166 --> 00:03:50,004
and then join you on the weekend
for our little wedding.
70
00:03:50,570 --> 00:03:51,671
This weekend?
71
00:03:52,773 --> 00:03:54,605
Darling, if you don't like it,
you don't have to move.
72
00:03:54,607 --> 00:03:55,574
Mom, this is...
73
00:03:55,576 --> 00:03:57,545
What's the harm in going
and meeting everyone?
74
00:03:57,910 --> 00:04:00,981
I understand American girls
quite like a British accent.
75
00:04:01,648 --> 00:04:02,713
I have something for you.
76
00:04:02,715 --> 00:04:05,584
Oh, my God. Gross.
77
00:04:05,586 --> 00:04:08,189
- Well, now hang on.
- Why are there so many of them as well?
78
00:04:11,658 --> 00:04:12,957
Would you like
to see a photo?
79
00:04:12,959 --> 00:04:13,694
No.
80
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:15,529
Here's my Romeo.
81
00:04:17,129 --> 00:04:20,634
- Oh, my good God, Mom.
- His name is Michaelson.
82
00:04:20,833 --> 00:04:22,069
- What? Michael?
- Son.
83
00:04:22,703 --> 00:04:23,871
- Son?
- Michaelson.
84
00:04:24,136 --> 00:04:25,903
Michaelson?
What sort of a name is that?
85
00:04:25,905 --> 00:04:27,838
Oh, don't be silly, darling,
please.
86
00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:29,509
He's got two lovely sons.
87
00:04:29,742 --> 00:04:32,644
Sean, the accountant,
and Joey.
88
00:04:32,646 --> 00:04:34,745
I hear he's a bit
of a character.
89
00:04:34,747 --> 00:04:38,051
- It'll be the start of a new chapter...
- I don't care.
90
00:04:38,251 --> 00:04:40,117
Mom, I want nothing to do
with these people.
91
00:04:40,119 --> 00:04:41,721
I am not going.
92
00:04:42,889 --> 00:04:44,855
[PA chimes]
93
00:04:44,857 --> 00:04:46,557
[woman over PA]
Welcome to North Dakota,
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00:04:46,559 --> 00:04:48,629
the least visited state
in America.
95
00:05:05,078 --> 00:05:06,247
Not so fast, slick.
96
00:05:06,747 --> 00:05:08,616
- I beg your pardon?
- Pardon yourself, assface.
97
00:05:08,982 --> 00:05:10,150
Freak out
and I'm going to homicide you.
98
00:05:10,984 --> 00:05:12,053
Now, walk and act casual.
99
00:05:12,886 --> 00:05:13,987
Come on.
100
00:05:14,554 --> 00:05:15,622
Come on.
101
00:05:16,256 --> 00:05:17,859
- Keep it fucking moving.
- Okay.
102
00:05:20,893 --> 00:05:22,829
[in mock British accent]
Hello, guv'nor!
103
00:05:23,196 --> 00:05:25,967
Me name is Winston Churchill.
104
00:05:26,199 --> 00:05:28,766
Welcome to America.
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00:05:28,768 --> 00:05:31,235
[English accent]
The fucking US of A!
106
00:05:31,237 --> 00:05:32,937
[American accent]
Wolverine isn't English, moron.
107
00:05:32,939 --> 00:05:34,773
[American accent] Yeah, but
Hugh Jackson is, you dumbass.
108
00:05:34,775 --> 00:05:36,975
Dude, you got his name wrong,
and he's Australian.
109
00:05:36,977 --> 00:05:38,776
He's not from Austria, you tool.
110
00:05:38,778 --> 00:05:43,982
[English accent] Will you two blokes
stop cunting about, eh? [laughs]
111
00:05:43,984 --> 00:05:45,887
[American accent] A little creepy?
A little creepy with the masks?
112
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:48,956
[English accent]
Off with your heads, then!
113
00:05:50,223 --> 00:05:51,822
[man chuckles]
114
00:05:51,824 --> 00:05:52,893
[American accent] Oh, yeah.
Hey. Michaelson.
115
00:05:53,326 --> 00:05:55,093
How are you doing, eh?
This here's Sean.
116
00:05:55,095 --> 00:05:56,627
I begged them not to do it.
117
00:05:56,629 --> 00:05:58,031
What up, dude? I'm Joey.
118
00:05:58,631 --> 00:06:00,098
But my friends call me
"Young Joseph."
119
00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:01,298
Dude, nobody calls you that.
120
00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:03,735
- Shut up.
- Hey, you like the OG shit?
121
00:06:03,737 --> 00:06:05,739
You like the OG shit.
Huh, El, you like the OG shit?
122
00:06:07,107 --> 00:06:08,139
[rap music playing
on car stereo]
123
00:06:08,141 --> 00:06:09,110
[Michaelson] All right.
124
00:06:10,744 --> 00:06:12,143
All right.
That's how we like it.
125
00:06:12,145 --> 00:06:13,114
That's how we roll.
126
00:06:13,780 --> 00:06:15,215
- It's great.
- Yeah.
127
00:06:16,883 --> 00:06:18,115
You know what?
Never mind that.
128
00:06:18,117 --> 00:06:19,317
Nah, let's get going.
129
00:06:19,319 --> 00:06:20,720
[engine starts]
130
00:06:21,321 --> 00:06:22,920
Do you want the Beatles?
Do you want that?
131
00:06:22,922 --> 00:06:23,790
- You want the Beatles?
- Okay.
132
00:06:24,758 --> 00:06:27,028
[man singing pop song]
133
00:06:37,903 --> 00:06:38,939
[song fades]
134
00:06:40,706 --> 00:06:42,876
[Michaelson] So it's a
three-bedroom casa upstairs,
135
00:06:43,343 --> 00:06:46,211
so you'll be crashing here
in my dojo down here. Yeah.
136
00:06:46,213 --> 00:06:48,178
And I hope you don't mind
the girls being in here,
137
00:06:48,180 --> 00:06:49,680
'cause they love Joe's room.
138
00:06:49,682 --> 00:06:50,951
- Oh, the cats?
- Yeah.
139
00:06:51,184 --> 00:06:53,187
I'm actually
slightly allergic.
140
00:06:53,653 --> 00:06:55,088
What? Holy shit!
141
00:06:55,321 --> 00:06:56,387
I gotta get the girls
out of here!
142
00:06:56,389 --> 00:06:58,325
[Elliot] It's not...
It doesn't really matter, but...
143
00:06:58,725 --> 00:06:59,790
It's a mild allergy.
144
00:06:59,792 --> 00:07:02,326
Look, I am so sorry.
I am so sorry.
145
00:07:02,328 --> 00:07:04,095
Consider this
an official apology, okay?
146
00:07:04,097 --> 00:07:05,829
- Okay.
- We had no idea.
147
00:07:05,831 --> 00:07:07,031
We're all cat lovers here.
148
00:07:07,033 --> 00:07:08,999
That's Princess over there.
149
00:07:09,001 --> 00:07:10,838
This is Cosby. This was before Cosby
did all that shit, I named it.
150
00:07:11,170 --> 00:07:12,971
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
151
00:07:12,973 --> 00:07:14,338
Oh, it's fine. It's fine.
152
00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:16,940
My mom actually gave me
allergy medicine, so...
153
00:07:16,942 --> 00:07:19,343
Your mom is an angel sent
directly from God's bosom.
154
00:07:19,345 --> 00:07:21,314
- Directly! Directly!
- Directly.
155
00:07:23,984 --> 00:07:25,716
- I like techno.
- Okay.
156
00:07:25,718 --> 00:07:28,786
I love hip-hop,
I like... I like kale,
157
00:07:28,788 --> 00:07:32,692
I like Uber X, I like social
medias, I like all that shit, El!
158
00:07:32,925 --> 00:07:35,360
I'm telling ya, if you're
thinking I'm some kind of weirdo,
159
00:07:35,362 --> 00:07:37,932
I'm a...
I'm actually pretty cool.
160
00:07:38,264 --> 00:07:40,066
- I'm pretty cool. [clears throat]
- Mmm-hmm.
161
00:07:41,167 --> 00:07:42,834
[cat growls]
162
00:07:42,836 --> 00:07:43,804
I think I'm...
163
00:07:44,804 --> 00:07:45,903
I think I'm pretty nervous.
164
00:07:45,905 --> 00:07:46,870
Is the cat okay?
165
00:07:46,872 --> 00:07:48,173
- Yeah.
- Okay.
166
00:07:48,175 --> 00:07:49,110
Yeah, I think he went to the bathroom.
I gotta go.
167
00:07:54,146 --> 00:07:55,315
Really beautiful house.
168
00:07:55,881 --> 00:07:57,684
Oh, yeah, did my dad
set you up okay?
169
00:07:59,186 --> 00:08:01,920
Yes. I'm in the sort of Asian-inspired
room. I've got my own punch bag and...
170
00:08:01,922 --> 00:08:03,023
- Right. The dojo.
- Yeah.
171
00:08:03,223 --> 00:08:04,822
Sorry about the cats.
Um...
172
00:08:04,824 --> 00:08:07,225
Ever since our mom died,
my dad's been really into them.
173
00:08:07,227 --> 00:08:08,062
- [meows]
- Oh.
174
00:08:08,828 --> 00:08:09,761
Sometimes he just tries
too hard.
175
00:08:09,763 --> 00:08:12,062
I just think he really wants you
to like him.
176
00:08:12,064 --> 00:08:13,333
So, what's up, are you in
a costume or some shit?
177
00:08:14,367 --> 00:08:16,468
- [Sean] Dude...
- I'm just saying.
178
00:08:16,470 --> 00:08:17,772
We need to make him look less like
Doctor Who before the trip. That's all.
179
00:08:19,073 --> 00:08:21,305
I just... I wasn't really sure
what was appropriate to wear in...
180
00:08:21,307 --> 00:08:23,307
I can dress you in my threads if
you're cool with the smell of pussy,
181
00:08:23,309 --> 00:08:24,377
because they be covered
in that shit, yo.
182
00:08:26,345 --> 00:08:27,148
He's a moron.
183
00:08:28,982 --> 00:08:30,115
So, you just graduated college?
184
00:08:30,117 --> 00:08:31,415
Yeah, a couple of weeks ago.
185
00:08:31,417 --> 00:08:32,686
Oh, cool,
did you go to Hogwarts?
186
00:08:34,286 --> 00:08:35,122
You see...
187
00:08:35,921 --> 00:08:36,956
Total moron.
188
00:08:37,790 --> 00:08:38,725
Okay.
189
00:08:39,859 --> 00:08:42,192
[Michaelson] All right.
You dudes better be hungry.
190
00:08:42,194 --> 00:08:43,995
- [cat yowls]
- Get out of here.
191
00:08:43,997 --> 00:08:45,996
Ah. Yeah.
192
00:08:45,998 --> 00:08:48,201
[chuckles] Oh, wait, pizza's here.
All right!
193
00:08:48,901 --> 00:08:51,771
Hey, El,
they got pizza in the UK?
194
00:08:53,039 --> 00:08:54,775
- Uh, yup.
- Cool.
195
00:08:55,074 --> 00:08:57,310
- Awesome. [clears throat]
- Hi, guys.
196
00:08:58,210 --> 00:08:59,110
[Joey] Hey!
197
00:08:59,112 --> 00:09:01,846
- Hey!
- Hey, all right!
198
00:09:01,848 --> 00:09:02,849
- [Michaelson] Okay.
- [Sean] Yay.
199
00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:05,416
- Hi, I'm Skylar.
- Hi. Elliot.
200
00:09:05,418 --> 00:09:07,254
Oh. Nice to meet you.
201
00:09:08,221 --> 00:09:10,491
This must be so crazy for you,
coming out here to meet these guys.
202
00:09:11,091 --> 00:09:12,791
Uh... Yeah, a bit.
203
00:09:12,793 --> 00:09:13,761
[Skylar chuckles]
204
00:09:14,394 --> 00:09:15,328
[Michaelson] Yeah,
that looks good.
205
00:09:17,030 --> 00:09:18,064
After you.
206
00:09:19,199 --> 00:09:20,300
Oh. Thanks.
207
00:09:21,867 --> 00:09:23,400
[Michaelson] Oh,
wait, wait, wait!
208
00:09:23,402 --> 00:09:24,838
I got something for you, El.
209
00:09:25,838 --> 00:09:27,907
- A little English food, huh?
- Oh.
210
00:09:28,809 --> 00:09:29,477
- Oh, yeah!
- Oh.
211
00:09:32,145 --> 00:09:33,948
[Michaelson, English accent]
Your tea and crumpets, sir.
212
00:09:35,147 --> 00:09:37,517
- Thanks.
- [American accent] Yes, of course. My pleasure.
213
00:09:37,950 --> 00:09:39,252
- Looks great.
- Like you never left home, right?
214
00:09:42,088 --> 00:09:43,488
Are you guys excited
for the road trip?
215
00:09:43,490 --> 00:09:45,023
Fuck, yeah!
Fucking road trip, baby.
216
00:09:45,025 --> 00:09:46,557
Hey, are Amy and Shu driving
with you?
217
00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:48,525
Yeah, and some girl from work
wants to come.
218
00:09:48,527 --> 00:09:49,763
Oh, yeah,
I bet she wants to come.
219
00:09:51,397 --> 00:09:53,030
Atta boy, Joey.
220
00:09:53,032 --> 00:09:54,465
[all laughing]
221
00:09:54,467 --> 00:09:57,000
- Joey! Right?
- Whoo, whoo, whoo.
222
00:09:57,002 --> 00:10:00,206
[sniffing]
Sniff it. Yeah. Yeah.
223
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:01,975
That's my boy.
224
00:10:03,010 --> 00:10:06,076
So... Sorry, what is it
that we're doing, exactly?
225
00:10:06,078 --> 00:10:08,245
Oh, it's alumni weekend at
our college in Colorado.
226
00:10:08,247 --> 00:10:10,148
Yeah, my frat is throwing
a fucking rager.
227
00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:14,085
Yeah. Listen, after dinner, why
don't you guys pop a few brewskis,
228
00:10:14,087 --> 00:10:17,258
fill El in on the road trip, and
then I'm gonna hit the dojo.
229
00:10:19,192 --> 00:10:21,262
Right after this, I'm gonna
give Sean a little ass-pounding
230
00:10:21,527 --> 00:10:23,062
in a game called
"Ass-pounding."
231
00:10:24,064 --> 00:10:24,998
You guys got that in the UK?
232
00:10:26,065 --> 00:10:27,066
- No.
- [Sean] You're gonna...
233
00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:28,334
You're gonna pound me
in the ass?
234
00:10:29,902 --> 00:10:30,802
[Joey] The fuck you trying
to say?
235
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:32,202
You just said you were gonna
pound my ass.
236
00:10:32,204 --> 00:10:33,840
That's your new family.
237
00:10:34,074 --> 00:10:35,639
- [Joey] Don't even think about it.
- [Sean] I'm not gay.
238
00:10:35,641 --> 00:10:37,341
[Joey] Pound, pound, pound,
pound, pound, pound, pound...
239
00:10:37,343 --> 00:10:38,845
- [TV: video game sounds]
- [Sean] Oh.
240
00:10:39,346 --> 00:10:40,280
Pound, pound, pound,
pound, pound!
241
00:10:42,147 --> 00:10:44,249
So, I thought you and Sean were,
like, boyfriend and girlfriend.
242
00:10:44,251 --> 00:10:46,187
- Gross, no.
- You're gross.
243
00:10:46,585 --> 00:10:47,587
I just grew up next door.
244
00:10:48,255 --> 00:10:49,888
They're like my brothers.
245
00:10:49,890 --> 00:10:52,356
But you all ended up going
to the same university?
246
00:10:52,358 --> 00:10:54,994
Yeah, we wanted to get away from Bismarck.
Shocker, huh?
247
00:10:55,227 --> 00:10:58,897
Joey had Van Wilder complex, so we
all graduated about the same time.
248
00:10:58,899 --> 00:11:00,367
- [Joey] I can hear you.
- You know it's true.
249
00:11:01,901 --> 00:11:03,167
Sean hates his job
250
00:11:03,169 --> 00:11:05,606
and Joey's just living at home,
doing this.
251
00:11:06,673 --> 00:11:08,940
All he ever talks about
is the fraternity still.
252
00:11:08,942 --> 00:11:10,240
This trip's gonna be
good for them.
253
00:11:10,242 --> 00:11:12,879
Well, I think life after uni
can be a bit tough.
254
00:11:13,146 --> 00:11:14,582
- You know?
- Oh, yeah?
255
00:11:15,281 --> 00:11:16,547
Well, maybe this will be good
for you, too.
256
00:11:16,549 --> 00:11:18,383
Oh.
257
00:11:18,385 --> 00:11:20,384
What's up, sluts? [chuckles] Just kidding.
It's a thing...
258
00:11:20,386 --> 00:11:23,587
- [Joey] Fridge!
- [whispering] Okay, so this is Daniel.
259
00:11:23,589 --> 00:11:26,124
They call him "Fridge"
because he's big
260
00:11:26,126 --> 00:11:28,293
or eats out of a fridge a lot
or something? I don't know.
261
00:11:28,295 --> 00:11:30,064
- Okay.
- Who's this guy?
262
00:11:30,597 --> 00:11:33,199
Uh... Fridge, Elliot.
Elliot, Fridge.
263
00:11:33,433 --> 00:11:34,400
Hello.
264
00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:36,337
I work for the US government.
265
00:11:40,372 --> 00:11:41,507
- Right.
- What do you do?
266
00:11:42,574 --> 00:11:48,046
Um... I'm kind of in-between...
jobs at the moment.
267
00:11:48,048 --> 00:11:49,980
- Yeah, "funemployed."
- Yeah.
268
00:11:49,982 --> 00:11:51,515
You don't work for the
US government, Fridge.
269
00:11:51,517 --> 00:11:52,585
You're a meter maid.
270
00:11:53,085 --> 00:11:56,089
Parking enforcement officer,
okay?
271
00:11:57,156 --> 00:11:58,722
Still working for
the government, Sean.
272
00:11:58,724 --> 00:11:59,990
Shut up, Fridge.
273
00:11:59,992 --> 00:12:01,127
You got it, bro.
274
00:12:02,628 --> 00:12:03,997
Do you want another beer?
275
00:12:04,430 --> 00:12:05,999
Yeah, but I'll get us one.
All right.
276
00:12:06,399 --> 00:12:08,166
[cat yowls]
277
00:12:08,168 --> 00:12:10,304
- Oh, my God, are you okay?
- Yup, just another cat.
278
00:12:12,572 --> 00:12:13,407
It was a cat.
279
00:12:17,209 --> 00:12:18,612
[panting]
280
00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:21,314
[screams]
281
00:12:21,580 --> 00:12:22,982
- [Joey] Morning, Dad.
- Whoo! New record.
282
00:12:24,684 --> 00:12:25,519
[yells]
283
00:12:26,251 --> 00:12:27,655
Road trip, motherfucker!
284
00:12:30,223 --> 00:12:32,525
I'm really not feeling very comfortable
in the clothing Joey's given me.
285
00:12:32,758 --> 00:12:34,427
I don't know, let me see. Spin.
286
00:12:35,627 --> 00:12:38,395
I see what you mean.
It's a little straightforward.
287
00:12:38,397 --> 00:12:41,034
I mean, I didn't go to their college,
but I sure do like to have fun.
288
00:12:41,434 --> 00:12:44,369
Like, on weekends, I'll wear a
shirt with a more humorous slogan,
289
00:12:44,371 --> 00:12:47,304
like, "I'm not as think
as you drunk I am." [laughs]
290
00:12:47,306 --> 00:12:49,173
Oh, yes, very clever.
291
00:12:49,175 --> 00:12:51,210
Shut up, Fridge. It's a wonder
why he never gets laid.
292
00:12:51,611 --> 00:12:52,710
Morning, yo!
293
00:12:52,712 --> 00:12:54,644
Oh, hi.
I can carry that for you.
294
00:12:54,646 --> 00:12:55,982
Oh, no, you don't have to.
295
00:12:56,449 --> 00:12:58,115
Not a fan of the po-pos, huh?
296
00:12:58,117 --> 00:13:00,083
No, I would never usually
wear something like this.
297
00:13:00,085 --> 00:13:01,753
- Hey, when's the evil witch arriving?
- Stop!
298
00:13:01,755 --> 00:13:03,691
- She's coming now.
- [car honks]
299
00:13:04,089 --> 00:13:05,325
Hey!
300
00:13:05,791 --> 00:13:08,127
[woman #2]
Let me out of this bento box.
301
00:13:10,396 --> 00:13:12,062
Road trip, bitches!
302
00:13:12,064 --> 00:13:13,199
- Fuck, yeah, bitches!
- Oh.
303
00:13:14,501 --> 00:13:17,034
So, Elliot,
this is Shu and that's Amy.
304
00:13:17,036 --> 00:13:18,369
We all went to college together.
305
00:13:18,371 --> 00:13:20,307
Oh. Hello, nice to meet you.
Elliot.
306
00:13:20,573 --> 00:13:21,307
[Shu, imitating E.T.]
Elliot!
307
00:13:23,410 --> 00:13:25,143
E.T., that's a great film.
308
00:13:25,145 --> 00:13:26,510
He sounds weird.
309
00:13:26,512 --> 00:13:27,480
- [Elliot] Sorry.
- Hello, ladies.
310
00:13:29,314 --> 00:13:31,081
Let's get out of here
and ditch these losers.
311
00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:32,182
Okay.
312
00:13:32,184 --> 00:13:33,484
My friend will be here
in a minute.
313
00:13:33,486 --> 00:13:35,119
That's right, you got a
hot teacher chick coming.
314
00:13:35,121 --> 00:13:35,655
[Amy] Who is she?
315
00:13:36,490 --> 00:13:37,455
She's the gym instructor
at my school.
316
00:13:37,457 --> 00:13:39,490
She's going through
a really bad breakup,
317
00:13:39,492 --> 00:13:41,525
so I thought she'd appreciate
some time away.
318
00:13:41,527 --> 00:13:42,762
She'll appreciate my crane.
319
00:13:43,829 --> 00:13:45,163
[Sean] Come on, dude, no.
320
00:13:45,165 --> 00:13:47,264
She's got
a really cool personality.
321
00:13:47,266 --> 00:13:47,999
[all groan]
322
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:49,299
[Joey]
Yeah, that's code for pig.
323
00:13:49,301 --> 00:13:50,536
Guys, stop.
That's her right now.
324
00:13:57,276 --> 00:13:58,145
God fucking damn it!
325
00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:01,578
- [Skylar] Hi, friend!
- Oh, keep your distance.
326
00:14:01,580 --> 00:14:04,081
- Oh.
- Breakfast burrito's resting uneasy in my gut.
327
00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:05,118
Are you okay?
328
00:14:05,484 --> 00:14:06,285
We'll know in an hour,
won't we?
329
00:14:06,618 --> 00:14:07,618
What the fuck?
330
00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:09,155
This is Shu and Amy...
331
00:14:09,421 --> 00:14:10,822
- Hey.
- Hey.
332
00:14:10,824 --> 00:14:12,159
- ...and these are the guys.
- Hi, I'm Sean.
333
00:14:13,293 --> 00:14:14,028
Young Joseph.
334
00:14:14,626 --> 00:14:15,328
Fatima.
335
00:14:16,195 --> 00:14:17,064
[whispers]
336
00:14:17,429 --> 00:14:18,596
- Who?
- Huh?
337
00:14:18,598 --> 00:14:19,732
- What's your name?
- Fatima.
338
00:14:22,669 --> 00:14:24,304
I'm Daniel.
[chuckles nervously]
339
00:14:24,636 --> 00:14:27,337
But people call me Fridge,
'cause I'm strong or something.
340
00:14:27,339 --> 00:14:28,405
It's whatever,
it's weird.
341
00:14:28,407 --> 00:14:29,609
- Cool name.
- Yeah?
342
00:14:30,510 --> 00:14:31,412
How do you do?
Elliot.
343
00:14:33,179 --> 00:14:34,581
- Brit, huh?
- Yup.
344
00:14:35,548 --> 00:14:37,051
- I bet you are.
- Okay.
345
00:14:37,449 --> 00:14:39,085
Um, we're gonna head out.
346
00:14:40,285 --> 00:14:42,289
I'm driving
and Skylar's shotgun.
347
00:14:42,755 --> 00:14:44,621
- [Skylar] See you guys on the road.
- [Sean] Bye.
348
00:14:44,623 --> 00:14:46,691
- [Fridge] See ya. Bye.
- El, I wanna talk to you for a second.
349
00:14:46,693 --> 00:14:50,227
Hey, listen, I really appreciate you being
so cool about everything, you know?
350
00:14:50,229 --> 00:14:53,399
And I really love your mom and I know
we're gonna be a really happy family.
351
00:14:53,665 --> 00:14:55,501
- Okay.
- That being said,
352
00:14:56,301 --> 00:14:59,169
go out there and get
some American ass!
353
00:14:59,171 --> 00:15:00,238
[all laughing]
354
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:01,442
Be safe, huh?
355
00:15:01,774 --> 00:15:03,710
Don't be late
to my motherfucking wedding.
356
00:15:04,176 --> 00:15:05,743
Yeah, don't do anything
I wouldn't do.
357
00:15:05,745 --> 00:15:07,548
Road trip, bitches!
358
00:15:08,348 --> 00:15:12,582
Drugs and sex and fucking, sucking...
[screams]
359
00:15:12,584 --> 00:15:14,487
Road trip it, motherfucker!
360
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,423
Oh, yeah. Whoo.
They're gone.
361
00:15:18,424 --> 00:15:20,227
Got my run in, my shake.
362
00:15:21,460 --> 00:15:22,393
Jerk off.
363
00:15:22,395 --> 00:15:24,530
[rock song playing]
364
00:15:25,732 --> 00:15:27,434
[man singing]
365
00:15:34,540 --> 00:15:36,376
[song ends]
366
00:15:37,477 --> 00:15:39,612
[Joey] Dude, did you hear
what that girl's name was?
367
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:40,780
- Yeah.
- [laughing]
368
00:15:41,381 --> 00:15:42,647
Yo, El, did you hear?
369
00:15:42,649 --> 00:15:43,813
Yeah, I heard.
370
00:15:43,815 --> 00:15:44,750
No, but did you
actually hear it?
371
00:15:45,517 --> 00:15:46,819
Yeah, I heard it.
372
00:15:47,386 --> 00:15:49,787
No, you don't get it.
It's "Fat-ima."
373
00:15:49,789 --> 00:15:52,590
She's fat and her name is...
[laughing]
374
00:15:52,592 --> 00:15:54,294
Fatima. I know. I got it.
375
00:15:54,493 --> 00:15:56,594
No, I don't think you pronounce
it like that, okay, guys?
376
00:15:56,596 --> 00:15:58,596
I think it's "Fa-tima."
377
00:15:58,598 --> 00:16:00,197
You know,
it's like a beautiful song.
378
00:16:00,199 --> 00:16:02,802
No way! It's "Fat-ima,"
but she's actually fat!
379
00:16:03,335 --> 00:16:04,170
You don't get it.
380
00:16:04,503 --> 00:16:05,735
No, I got it.
381
00:16:05,737 --> 00:16:07,273
- We got it.
- I fucking got it.
382
00:16:07,473 --> 00:16:08,572
Oh, you don't get it.
383
00:16:08,574 --> 00:16:09,709
- Yeah, we get it.
- We get it.
384
00:16:15,548 --> 00:16:18,381
[Amy] We are taking a different
route to those idiots, right?
385
00:16:18,383 --> 00:16:19,817
There's really only one route.
386
00:16:19,819 --> 00:16:21,188
And they're great guys,
anyway.
387
00:16:22,588 --> 00:16:24,889
That English dude
seems kind of cute.
388
00:16:24,891 --> 00:16:26,626
Oh, yeah?
I guess he is kind of cute.
389
00:16:29,395 --> 00:16:30,297
A Brit fingered me once.
390
00:16:31,863 --> 00:16:32,732
No complaints.
391
00:16:36,301 --> 00:16:38,769
[Joey] All right, we gotta swing
by Kush's yard and get rigged up.
392
00:16:38,771 --> 00:16:39,772
[Fridge] Yeah.
393
00:16:40,707 --> 00:16:42,309
- Wait, what does that mean?
- Marijuana.
394
00:16:43,376 --> 00:16:44,475
Oh.
395
00:16:44,477 --> 00:16:46,244
I don't think
we have time, guys.
396
00:16:46,246 --> 00:16:48,479
We should just keep driving.
Just keep on driving.
397
00:16:48,481 --> 00:16:50,480
- No, this party's gonna be a rager.
- Yeah. Honk, honk!
398
00:16:50,482 --> 00:16:51,919
We gotta do shit right.
399
00:16:52,751 --> 00:16:54,784
I'm not showing up
empty-handed.
400
00:16:54,786 --> 00:16:57,455
Yeah, look, I... I don't wanna be the
sort of party pooper or whatever.
401
00:16:57,457 --> 00:16:59,322
I'm not really comfortable
with the whole drugs thing,
402
00:16:59,324 --> 00:17:00,423
you know,
it's not really my thing.
403
00:17:00,425 --> 00:17:01,926
I've just applied
for a job and...
404
00:17:01,928 --> 00:17:04,628
No, fuck that! We're gonna rage
like true frat stars, all right?
405
00:17:04,630 --> 00:17:06,963
We're gonna get you some Smir
to get things started,
406
00:17:06,965 --> 00:17:08,899
some brewskis to keep the form,
a little... [sniffs]
407
00:17:08,901 --> 00:17:11,672
bombers to keep things going,
fucking...
408
00:17:12,504 --> 00:17:14,271
You know,
and do shots to black out
409
00:17:14,273 --> 00:17:16,274
and do whatever the fuck you do
when you're blacked out.
410
00:17:16,276 --> 00:17:19,309
And then... you know,
smoke a doob to level out
411
00:17:19,311 --> 00:17:21,412
and then snort a ripper in the
morning to get back on track.
412
00:17:21,414 --> 00:17:22,480
[Joey, Fridge laughing]
413
00:17:22,482 --> 00:17:24,318
- You know what I'm saying?
- Good time!
414
00:17:25,917 --> 00:17:27,753
I have no idea
what you just said.
415
00:17:33,559 --> 00:17:35,229
You guys remember Steve Collins?
416
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:37,830
Oh. Skeazy Steve.
417
00:17:38,397 --> 00:17:40,298
Don't even go there.
418
00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:44,535
That's right! You and Skeazy Steve
had a skeazy sesh together.
419
00:17:44,537 --> 00:17:46,703
- Oh!
- It was freshman year.
420
00:17:46,705 --> 00:17:49,842
It was so long ago,
I can pretend it never happened.
421
00:17:50,376 --> 00:17:51,575
But it did happen.
422
00:17:51,577 --> 00:17:53,880
Oh, it definitely happened.
423
00:17:55,348 --> 00:17:57,483
So, what are we talking about, here?
Intercourse?
424
00:17:57,716 --> 00:18:00,853
No. Just a good old
college beej.
425
00:18:01,587 --> 00:18:04,657
- Ew! She had Skeazy Steve's wiener in her mouth.
- Ugh!
426
00:18:04,857 --> 00:18:07,261
[imitates gagging] Oh!
427
00:18:08,594 --> 00:18:10,461
I love giving blowjobs.
428
00:18:10,463 --> 00:18:12,596
No, you don't.
No girl actually likes it.
429
00:18:12,598 --> 00:18:13,867
No girl likes blowjobs.
430
00:18:14,567 --> 00:18:15,535
I do.
431
00:18:17,502 --> 00:18:19,670
You know what it is? Guys watch
too much porn these days.
432
00:18:19,672 --> 00:18:21,638
- Yes.
- Yeah, we're not porn stars.
433
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:23,007
We're not!
434
00:18:23,009 --> 00:18:25,511
Skeazy Steve tried to
jizz on my face.
435
00:18:25,744 --> 00:18:27,010
- Stop.
- Yeah.
436
00:18:27,012 --> 00:18:29,849
- As if girls actually want that.
- Ew...
437
00:18:30,383 --> 00:18:32,052
- You didn't let him, did you?
- God...
438
00:18:36,121 --> 00:18:38,055
[siren wailing in distance]
439
00:18:38,057 --> 00:18:39,358
[man] Fuck you, man!
440
00:18:40,092 --> 00:18:41,894
[woman screams]
441
00:18:44,597 --> 00:18:45,699
Is this area safe?
442
00:18:45,932 --> 00:18:47,601
Fuck yeah. This is my hood, yo.
443
00:18:47,966 --> 00:18:50,303
This isn't actually
your hood, yo.
444
00:18:50,603 --> 00:18:53,073
We'd be back where we came from, right?
With Dad.
445
00:18:53,473 --> 00:18:54,473
[gunfire]
446
00:18:57,809 --> 00:19:00,611
It says right here that seven
people were murdered last week.
447
00:19:00,613 --> 00:19:01,578
Right on this spot.
448
00:19:01,580 --> 00:19:03,146
- What?
- Isn't that crazy?
449
00:19:03,148 --> 00:19:06,386
- Yeah.
- Do you guys have smartphones in the UK?
450
00:19:07,052 --> 00:19:09,586
- Yeah.
- No, I mean like smartphones like this.
451
00:19:09,588 --> 00:19:12,455
Not like... [imitates beeping]
"Operator, can I get me mum?"
452
00:19:12,457 --> 00:19:14,024
[laughs]
453
00:19:14,026 --> 00:19:16,563
- But like this.
- Yeah, yeah, no, we've got smartphones.
454
00:19:16,762 --> 00:19:17,496
I don't think so.
455
00:19:17,797 --> 00:19:19,066
Yo, this is the spot.
456
00:19:20,066 --> 00:19:21,768
- [Elliot] Oh, my God.
- [Joey] Yeah.
457
00:19:27,139 --> 00:19:28,809
Kushy's got the best weed
in the world.
458
00:19:32,145 --> 00:19:33,847
[knocking continues]
459
00:19:36,482 --> 00:19:38,749
All right, well, I guess he's
out for tea or something.
460
00:19:38,751 --> 00:19:40,017
So, we should probably just go.
461
00:19:40,019 --> 00:19:41,887
- Bhagwan.
- Oh, Kush-dog!
462
00:19:42,655 --> 00:19:46,123
[Jamaican accent] Kush be waiting
for the vermin exterminator.
463
00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:49,363
Ah, we...
We came to get some weed.
464
00:19:49,761 --> 00:19:51,932
- Me brethren come to me house for trees?
- Yeah.
465
00:19:52,831 --> 00:19:54,367
[Kush chuckles]
466
00:19:57,803 --> 00:19:59,739
Yo, you're gonna have to translate
his British. I don't get it.
467
00:20:00,205 --> 00:20:01,640
That's definitely
not British.
468
00:20:03,443 --> 00:20:05,608
- Yo, Joe, let's make this quick, okay?
- We will.
469
00:20:05,610 --> 00:20:07,211
- Really quick.
- Is anyone else concerned about the...
470
00:20:07,213 --> 00:20:08,615
He's got a firearm. I'm going.
471
00:20:08,981 --> 00:20:11,617
Have yourself some seats,
brothers.
472
00:20:13,853 --> 00:20:14,921
Can we please go?
473
00:20:15,922 --> 00:20:17,424
- [clattering]
- [Elliot] Project for a bitch.
474
00:20:18,590 --> 00:20:20,223
This is a lovely place
that you have here.
475
00:20:20,225 --> 00:20:22,828
- We can't stay very long, so...
- Have a seat.
476
00:20:27,532 --> 00:20:28,501
Not there!
477
00:20:41,914 --> 00:20:43,047
[exhales]
478
00:20:43,049 --> 00:20:44,682
Oh, bloody hell.
479
00:20:44,684 --> 00:20:47,753
Kush been having trouble with
the enemy and the dirty rats.
480
00:20:48,253 --> 00:20:48,888
But...
481
00:20:50,889 --> 00:20:51,657
Nothing to worry about.
482
00:20:53,024 --> 00:20:54,924
Yo, he's cool.
He's just paranoid.
483
00:20:54,926 --> 00:20:56,562
He's just smoked way too
much weed for a human.
484
00:20:57,230 --> 00:20:57,931
Way too much.
485
00:21:01,032 --> 00:21:03,133
Yeah, so, we'd love to
grab an eighth,
486
00:21:03,135 --> 00:21:04,971
and then we'll just
get out of your hair.
487
00:21:09,675 --> 00:21:13,980
This weed be called...
"the Damp Hamster."
488
00:21:15,146 --> 00:21:18,749
Right. Well, Joey, would you
like to pay the gentleman
489
00:21:18,751 --> 00:21:20,183
and we'll just take the damp
hamster somewhere else?
490
00:21:20,185 --> 00:21:22,752
I smoke with the brother.
491
00:21:22,754 --> 00:21:24,755
Uh... I don't think...
492
00:21:24,757 --> 00:21:26,022
- Do we need to smoke?
- [Sean] No, we don't need to do that.
493
00:21:26,024 --> 00:21:27,892
- We don't need to smoke right now.
- Not really in the mood.
494
00:21:27,894 --> 00:21:28,995
[Kush] Two hits...
495
00:21:29,794 --> 00:21:30,930
with the damp hamster...
496
00:21:33,031 --> 00:21:34,701
It make your life go crazy.
497
00:21:36,234 --> 00:21:40,203
Your heart feel like it explode, your
head feel like it be in the tumble dryer,
498
00:21:40,205 --> 00:21:42,742
your face feel like
it being eaten by a cow,
499
00:21:43,242 --> 00:21:45,945
your ass feel like
it being entered. [hisses]
500
00:21:47,780 --> 00:21:48,915
And then you crash hard.
501
00:21:49,714 --> 00:21:51,548
I have to say,
502
00:21:51,550 --> 00:21:55,152
I'm not particularly in the mood for
any of those sensations right now.
503
00:21:55,154 --> 00:21:56,088
You know?
504
00:21:56,955 --> 00:21:58,657
The friends of Kush
smoke with the Kush.
505
00:21:59,591 --> 00:22:00,193
Oh, my God.
506
00:22:01,260 --> 00:22:02,963
[reggae song playing]
507
00:22:05,665 --> 00:22:06,763
Thank you very much.
508
00:22:06,765 --> 00:22:09,066
[man singing reggae]
509
00:22:09,068 --> 00:22:10,069
Be friends with the Kush.
510
00:22:16,175 --> 00:22:17,109
[gasps]
511
00:22:19,811 --> 00:22:20,847
[yelps]
512
00:22:24,215 --> 00:22:26,785
The sensation of the ass
being entered.
513
00:22:27,252 --> 00:22:28,751
Yup, I felt it.
514
00:22:28,753 --> 00:22:32,525
- [song continues]
- [man rapping]
515
00:22:40,765 --> 00:22:41,967
[coughing]
516
00:22:50,276 --> 00:22:51,044
[grunts]
517
00:23:36,722 --> 00:23:39,091
[song fades]
518
00:23:41,126 --> 00:23:42,127
[gun clicks]
519
00:23:42,427 --> 00:23:44,196
[Kush breathing heavily]
520
00:23:49,734 --> 00:23:51,203
Where the fuck
did you come from?
521
00:23:52,003 --> 00:23:53,106
I've been here the whole time.
522
00:23:53,938 --> 00:23:54,940
Guys, please wake up.
523
00:23:56,041 --> 00:23:58,409
There's a rat in here.
524
00:23:58,411 --> 00:24:01,045
No, no, no! I assure you,
I'm not a rat.
525
00:24:01,047 --> 00:24:03,346
Your business
is your business, sir. Okay?
526
00:24:03,348 --> 00:24:05,015
- Wake up!
- There's a rat in me house!
527
00:24:05,017 --> 00:24:05,749
[Elliot yelps]
528
00:24:05,751 --> 00:24:06,853
Holy shit!
529
00:24:10,255 --> 00:24:11,624
- [Kush] Watch out for the rat!
- [Sean] What rat?
530
00:24:11,857 --> 00:24:13,693
Where? Here?
531
00:24:14,460 --> 00:24:16,630
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
We would never rat on a G, man!
532
00:24:17,029 --> 00:24:18,064
[screaming]
533
00:24:18,830 --> 00:24:20,364
[laughing]
534
00:24:20,366 --> 00:24:22,266
What rat? Where?
535
00:24:22,268 --> 00:24:24,938
- There be rat!
- [screaming]
536
00:24:25,870 --> 00:24:26,372
Kush!
537
00:24:28,273 --> 00:24:30,242
Get out of here, filthy rats!
538
00:24:30,443 --> 00:24:33,012
Invade the purity
of the house of the Kush.
539
00:24:37,716 --> 00:24:38,684
The rat!
540
00:24:38,951 --> 00:24:40,451
Oh, God, wait for me!
541
00:24:40,453 --> 00:24:41,954
- No!
- Wait for me!
542
00:24:45,991 --> 00:24:47,356
[yelps] No!
543
00:24:47,358 --> 00:24:48,959
I thought it was
the passenger seat.
544
00:24:48,961 --> 00:24:50,193
It's the other way round
in England.
545
00:24:50,195 --> 00:24:51,729
Let's go!
[laughing]
546
00:24:51,731 --> 00:24:52,996
Get it in there, come on!
547
00:24:52,998 --> 00:24:54,932
- No, no, no! I'm high as fuck!
- Come on, go, man!
548
00:24:54,934 --> 00:24:56,200
[all screaming]
549
00:24:56,202 --> 00:24:57,334
[laughing maniacally]
550
00:24:57,336 --> 00:24:58,438
[engine starts]
551
00:25:01,473 --> 00:25:04,174
[with lisp]
Hi, ladies. I'm Saul.
552
00:25:04,777 --> 00:25:05,843
Hi, Saul.
553
00:25:05,845 --> 00:25:07,747
I'm gonna be your server
on this splendid summer day.
554
00:25:08,914 --> 00:25:09,883
You decided?
555
00:25:11,183 --> 00:25:12,452
- Surf and turf.
- Surf and turf.
556
00:25:13,118 --> 00:25:14,186
Two Dr. Peppers, no ice.
557
00:25:16,222 --> 00:25:17,991
- I'm gonna have the...
- [Fatima] They have chow mein.
558
00:25:18,491 --> 00:25:20,926
- What was that?
- They have chow mein.
559
00:25:22,461 --> 00:25:26,462
[mock Asian accent] Oh, I thought
I could try the Western food
560
00:25:26,464 --> 00:25:28,233
for the first time
in my life.
561
00:25:29,135 --> 00:25:30,369
Don't do it on account of us.
562
00:25:30,802 --> 00:25:32,102
- Don't worry about it.
- Do you have Caesar salad?
563
00:25:32,104 --> 00:25:33,503
- Caesar salad? Yes.
- I'll take that.
564
00:25:33,505 --> 00:25:34,904
[Saul]
It's delicious.
565
00:25:34,906 --> 00:25:37,976
Oh, wait, chips and salsa
and guacamole.
566
00:25:38,176 --> 00:25:40,344
For the lovely Fatima.
567
00:25:40,346 --> 00:25:43,083
I don't think you're pronouncing
it correctly, it's "guacamole."
568
00:25:43,382 --> 00:25:46,115
- Guacamole.
- Gua... Guacamole.
569
00:25:46,117 --> 00:25:47,884
- You like?
- Okay.
570
00:25:47,886 --> 00:25:50,086
I think we'll do the chips and guac
for the table. That'd be great.
571
00:25:50,088 --> 00:25:51,355
- [Shu] For the table.
- [Skylar] For the table will be great.
572
00:25:51,357 --> 00:25:52,959
Thank you very much...
Ow.
573
00:25:53,224 --> 00:25:54,927
- Great. Thank you, Saul.
- [Shu] Thank you, Saul.
574
00:26:00,432 --> 00:26:02,332
Yo, El,
you're driving like a 'tard.
575
00:26:02,334 --> 00:26:03,737
- You need to speed up, bro.
- Yeah.
576
00:26:04,203 --> 00:26:06,002
Would you just
give me a break?
577
00:26:06,004 --> 00:26:07,306
I've never driven on the right
side of the road before.
578
00:26:13,913 --> 00:26:16,547
There's a rat! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
There's a rat! There's a rat!
579
00:26:16,549 --> 00:26:18,481
- [laughing]
- [Joey] What now, the hizzy?
580
00:26:18,483 --> 00:26:20,220
You guys are stupid.
581
00:26:23,923 --> 00:26:24,924
[cat meows]
582
00:26:27,259 --> 00:26:28,828
- [screams]
- [cat yowls]
583
00:26:30,061 --> 00:26:31,764
There's a miniature lion
in here!
584
00:26:32,463 --> 00:26:33,232
Oh, my God.
585
00:26:34,966 --> 00:26:37,002
Why is there a fucking cat
in the car?
586
00:26:38,169 --> 00:26:40,304
It's Princess. It's been
in here the whole time.
587
00:26:40,306 --> 00:26:41,540
Right, well,
we gotta turn around.
588
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:43,240
- No.
- Yeah.
589
00:26:43,242 --> 00:26:45,041
We're not turning around.
590
00:26:45,043 --> 00:26:46,576
Why don't we just give it to
a child or a lonely vagrant?
591
00:26:46,578 --> 00:26:48,478
[Sean] No, no, no.
My dad loves his cats.
592
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,114
We're gonna have to just, you
know, just take him with us.
593
00:26:51,116 --> 00:26:54,483
Yes! Road trip! Oh, road
trip, you little pussy.
594
00:26:54,485 --> 00:26:56,220
Can someone else please
take over driving?
595
00:26:56,222 --> 00:26:58,355
- No.
- No, no, no. I'm too stoned, dude.
596
00:26:58,357 --> 00:27:00,026
But you know what?
There's a diner and we can stop
597
00:27:00,392 --> 00:27:01,290
and I'll take over.
598
00:27:01,292 --> 00:27:03,195
- Yup, let's go to a diner.
- I'll take over.
599
00:27:28,654 --> 00:27:29,321
[grunts]
600
00:27:31,190 --> 00:27:32,192
Oh, my God.
601
00:27:32,491 --> 00:27:33,526
There's policemen
over there.
602
00:27:35,059 --> 00:27:36,462
[gasps]
603
00:27:37,829 --> 00:27:38,494
Do you think they can tell we're
under the influence of drugs?
604
00:27:38,496 --> 00:27:40,365
Weed's legal, bro. It's fine.
605
00:27:40,665 --> 00:27:42,432
- Legal?
- Yeah.
606
00:27:42,434 --> 00:27:44,170
Then why the good fuck did
we buy it from that lunatic?
607
00:27:46,238 --> 00:27:47,440
Is that a rhetorical question?
608
00:27:48,339 --> 00:27:50,542
What? No. What? No.
609
00:27:54,078 --> 00:27:55,244
- Hey.
- Hey.
610
00:27:55,246 --> 00:27:57,381
Hey, look. It's the girls.
611
00:27:57,383 --> 00:28:00,049
[Amy] Oh, my God, did they
follow us or something?
612
00:28:00,051 --> 00:28:01,351
I'm gonna get some cereal.
613
00:28:01,353 --> 00:28:03,185
- Yeah! Get some cereal!
- Yeah!
614
00:28:03,187 --> 00:28:03,922
That sounds good actually.
615
00:28:05,190 --> 00:28:08,624
Did somebody order some stud muffins?
[laughs]
616
00:28:08,626 --> 00:28:10,463
- Fucking hell.
- Hey, do you mind, tits, move over?
617
00:28:11,430 --> 00:28:13,166
- [screams]
- Oh, Jesus!
618
00:28:13,965 --> 00:28:14,600
- [Elliot] I'm sorry.
- What the fuck?
619
00:28:15,367 --> 00:28:16,935
Thank you. Excuse me.
620
00:28:17,502 --> 00:28:19,068
All right.
621
00:28:19,070 --> 00:28:20,039
- [Elliot] May I sit here? Thank you.
- Yeah, of course.
622
00:28:21,406 --> 00:28:22,439
- [Fridge] She's so clumsy.
- Ew.
623
00:28:22,441 --> 00:28:23,742
You guys reek of weed.
624
00:28:24,342 --> 00:28:27,576
Yeah, my idiot brother nearly got us
killed by a deranged drug dealer.
625
00:28:27,578 --> 00:28:28,513
It was so dope.
626
00:28:29,380 --> 00:28:31,080
Ladies, your food will be
right out.
627
00:28:31,082 --> 00:28:32,217
Thanks, Saul.
628
00:28:33,484 --> 00:28:36,356
Hey, monsieur, could I get
a bowl of cereal, please?
629
00:28:36,989 --> 00:28:40,026
Yes, I will also like
a bowl of cereal, monsieur.
630
00:28:40,591 --> 00:28:42,625
Actually, that sounds really good.
I'll do the same, please, thank you.
631
00:28:42,627 --> 00:28:45,330
Oh, make that six.
And a steak.
632
00:28:46,197 --> 00:28:47,663
How high are you morons?
633
00:28:47,665 --> 00:28:49,066
Quite uncomfortably high.
634
00:28:49,068 --> 00:28:50,636
[lisping]
Six cereal and a steak.
635
00:28:51,069 --> 00:28:53,172
Just give me a shout
if you need anything else.
636
00:28:53,504 --> 00:28:56,105
[mock lisp] Okay, yeah,
can I have six more sodas
637
00:28:56,107 --> 00:28:58,477
with some sesame seeds
and some sweet and sour sauce
638
00:28:58,711 --> 00:28:59,646
on my sausage?
639
00:29:02,548 --> 00:29:05,117
- Seriously?
- Seriously.
640
00:29:05,584 --> 00:29:08,354
- Seriously?
- Yes. Seriously.
641
00:29:09,521 --> 00:29:10,322
Seriously?
642
00:29:12,491 --> 00:29:13,225
Seriously.
643
00:29:15,094 --> 00:29:17,330
- [Joey snickers]
- Joey!
644
00:29:17,730 --> 00:29:18,932
[normal voice]
Did you see what I did?
645
00:29:20,432 --> 00:29:21,467
You see what I did?
646
00:29:22,467 --> 00:29:24,036
No, I missed it.
It must have been really subtle.
647
00:29:26,004 --> 00:29:28,140
- Don't judge all of America on Joey.
- Okay.
648
00:29:30,509 --> 00:29:34,113
Okay, well, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to, uh, go the toilet.
649
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,113
[Amy] Don't you mean the loo?
650
00:29:36,115 --> 00:29:39,018
Oh, yes. I'm going to the loo
to do a number two.
651
00:29:39,550 --> 00:29:41,218
[all] Ew!
652
00:29:41,220 --> 00:29:42,685
Yeah, I'm not. No. I didn't...
I didn't mean that.
653
00:29:42,687 --> 00:29:45,321
I meant... one is all I need.
654
00:29:45,323 --> 00:29:47,359
- I'm really high, so...
- Okay, bye.
655
00:29:48,394 --> 00:29:50,660
[laughs]
He likes you!
656
00:29:50,662 --> 00:29:51,965
Stop. Stop it.
657
00:29:54,500 --> 00:29:56,066
- [Saul] Oops.
- [girls] Oh!
658
00:29:56,068 --> 00:29:57,299
Sorry.
659
00:29:57,301 --> 00:29:58,634
[all laughing]
660
00:29:58,636 --> 00:30:01,203
- It's not funny.
- [Amy] It's what you get!
661
00:30:01,205 --> 00:30:02,175
It's bad service.
662
00:30:07,146 --> 00:30:08,013
[Elliot]
Oh, my God.
663
00:30:08,813 --> 00:30:10,446
[Skylar laughs]
664
00:30:10,448 --> 00:30:12,315
Seriously,
I'm not wearing this anymore.
665
00:30:12,317 --> 00:30:13,553
It really does
suit you though.
666
00:30:14,787 --> 00:30:15,722
I got some less gangster shit
if you're not feeling that.
667
00:30:16,489 --> 00:30:17,721
Surprisingly,
I'm not feeling it,
668
00:30:17,723 --> 00:30:21,194
considering it only says "Fuck
the police" in giant letters.
669
00:30:21,460 --> 00:30:23,093
So, where are you guys
staying tonight?
670
00:30:23,095 --> 00:30:24,528
Oh, we haven't thought
that far ahead.
671
00:30:24,530 --> 00:30:26,462
Maybe we should stay
where you guys are staying.
672
00:30:26,464 --> 00:30:28,201
Fuck that!
These bitches made bank.
673
00:30:28,434 --> 00:30:30,232
I live foot-to-mouth, my dog.
I don't do that.
674
00:30:30,234 --> 00:30:31,503
I'm pretty sure it's
"hand-to-mouth."
675
00:30:32,437 --> 00:30:33,737
And what is that?
676
00:30:33,739 --> 00:30:37,242
And I'm sure us bitches
got the last room.
677
00:30:38,376 --> 00:30:39,776
Is that a cat in your car?
678
00:30:39,778 --> 00:30:40,646
Yup.
679
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:42,781
[Skylar] Okay, I think we're
gonna head out.
680
00:30:43,281 --> 00:30:44,247
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
681
00:30:44,249 --> 00:30:44,784
- Oh.
- Oh.
682
00:30:51,456 --> 00:30:53,323
[Shu laughing]
Oh!
683
00:30:53,325 --> 00:30:56,062
- What the F was that?
- Shut up. Please shut up. Go away. Go away.
684
00:30:58,262 --> 00:31:01,298
Oh, guys, I'm gonna text you
an address for tomorrow,
685
00:31:01,300 --> 00:31:03,202
so meet us there at noon,
all right?
686
00:31:04,103 --> 00:31:06,236
It's a surprise,
like your hug. [laughs]
687
00:31:06,238 --> 00:31:07,206
Shotgun.
688
00:31:07,572 --> 00:31:09,608
- Shotgun.
- Oh, he's learning.
689
00:31:18,550 --> 00:31:20,520
Yo, El, please stop being
a baby dick around Sky.
690
00:31:21,653 --> 00:31:22,789
What is he on about?
691
00:31:23,222 --> 00:31:24,089
[Sean] Well, you do
kind of like her.
692
00:31:25,156 --> 00:31:26,059
Yeah.
693
00:31:26,524 --> 00:31:27,423
You wanna bang her, right?
694
00:31:27,425 --> 00:31:29,659
Well, no, I like her, so...
695
00:31:29,661 --> 00:31:31,560
You just tried to give her some sort
of Special Ed hug back there. Uh-uh.
696
00:31:31,562 --> 00:31:33,596
No. No, it was a hug goodbye.
697
00:31:33,598 --> 00:31:35,068
Just a friendly hug goodbye.
698
00:31:35,334 --> 00:31:36,536
You know what you should
have done?
699
00:31:37,736 --> 00:31:38,769
You should have ignored her
at lunch, hit on her friends,
700
00:31:38,771 --> 00:31:40,673
and then bitched her out
when we were leaving.
701
00:31:40,873 --> 00:31:42,506
Guarantee you,
she would have blown you.
702
00:31:42,508 --> 00:31:45,342
- Great. In the parking lot.
- In the parking lot.
703
00:31:45,344 --> 00:31:47,477
- If she would have done that, I would've...
- Shut up, Fridge.
704
00:31:47,479 --> 00:31:50,646
Seriously, the worse you treat
them, the more they want you.
705
00:31:50,648 --> 00:31:51,684
It's the golden rule.
706
00:31:52,818 --> 00:31:55,221
[Sean] American girls are, like,
attracted to douchebags.
707
00:31:55,753 --> 00:31:58,623
Trust me, bro.
I know what I'm talking about.
708
00:31:58,857 --> 00:31:59,591
I really do.
709
00:32:00,358 --> 00:32:02,459
[all groaning]
710
00:32:02,461 --> 00:32:03,492
[Joey] What are you doing?
711
00:32:03,494 --> 00:32:04,928
No warning, nothing. Just...
712
00:32:04,930 --> 00:32:07,530
Okay. I had that cereal
with the chunky milk
713
00:32:07,532 --> 00:32:08,765
and then more of the creamer.
714
00:32:08,767 --> 00:32:09,434
- You did have...
- [yelps]
715
00:32:10,601 --> 00:32:12,204
What the hell is going on?
716
00:32:14,373 --> 00:32:15,174
Rank!
717
00:32:15,907 --> 00:32:17,242
[Fridge]
It's the creamer, right?
718
00:32:18,277 --> 00:32:20,442
I breathed, and there's...
I smelled his puke.
719
00:32:20,444 --> 00:32:21,481
[Joey] He's awesome.
720
00:32:22,446 --> 00:32:24,216
[all retching and yelling]
721
00:32:28,419 --> 00:32:30,723
- [hip-hop song playing]
- [man rapping]
722
00:32:38,262 --> 00:32:39,128
[song fades]
723
00:32:39,130 --> 00:32:40,699
[Elliot]
My T-shirt is covered in vomit.
724
00:32:40,898 --> 00:32:42,167
[Joey]
Fine, here's another one.
725
00:32:42,367 --> 00:32:43,435
[Elliot] Oh, God.
726
00:32:44,368 --> 00:32:45,704
[Joey exhales]
727
00:32:47,606 --> 00:32:49,242
- [man] No. No, here.
- [bell jingles]
728
00:32:49,707 --> 00:32:53,375
No. No, no,
you're not gonna have that. No.
729
00:32:53,377 --> 00:32:54,713
Sorry. Sorry, just...
730
00:32:56,447 --> 00:32:57,449
Sorry. You know...
731
00:33:00,851 --> 00:33:02,919
Praise the Lord
on this fine day.
732
00:33:02,921 --> 00:33:03,655
Praise him.
733
00:33:06,491 --> 00:33:08,224
Yup... praise him.
734
00:33:08,226 --> 00:33:12,497
Has the Lord exposed himself
to you in all his ways?
735
00:33:13,498 --> 00:33:16,900
Exposed himself?
I would say... not... not... not...
736
00:33:16,902 --> 00:33:20,436
Do you have tea?
Could I get a cup of tea?
737
00:33:20,438 --> 00:33:24,242
By the grace of the Lord,
we have tea of the iced variety.
738
00:33:24,509 --> 00:33:25,778
Okay, not hot tea?
739
00:33:26,944 --> 00:33:28,912
If iced tea was good enough
for Jesus at the Last Supper,
740
00:33:28,914 --> 00:33:30,313
it's good enough for you, buddy.
741
00:33:30,315 --> 00:33:31,350
Amen.
742
00:33:32,416 --> 00:33:33,319
All right.
743
00:33:34,386 --> 00:33:36,888
I'm not sure that's biblically
accurate, you know?
744
00:33:38,490 --> 00:33:40,890
Uh... Orange soda, then, instead.
That would be great.
745
00:33:40,892 --> 00:33:41,661
Big Slurp?
746
00:33:43,261 --> 00:33:44,994
Yes. One of those.
Not quite sure what it means,
747
00:33:44,996 --> 00:33:47,430
- but I'll trust this gentleman.
- [man] No.
748
00:33:47,432 --> 00:33:50,203
Praise the Lord.
Big Slurp it is.
749
00:33:52,671 --> 00:33:55,540
- [man] What? Come on.
- Okay.
750
00:33:58,844 --> 00:34:00,846
Sorry, are we gonna be
sharing this?
751
00:34:01,413 --> 00:34:02,479
No, we're not.
752
00:34:02,481 --> 00:34:05,885
3.99. In God we trust.
753
00:34:07,286 --> 00:34:09,451
- Yeah, I wish you'd hurry up, too.
- Okay, sorry.
754
00:34:09,453 --> 00:34:09,988
Have a nice day.
755
00:34:11,423 --> 00:34:12,788
Go with God.
756
00:34:12,790 --> 00:34:14,758
You're in God's country.
757
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:15,959
[Elliot] I noticed, thank you.
It's very nice.
758
00:34:15,961 --> 00:34:17,229
We're his favorite.
759
00:34:27,372 --> 00:34:30,743
I found us a motel
50 miles from here.
760
00:34:31,410 --> 00:34:32,444
And it says here...
761
00:34:33,845 --> 00:34:37,350
it's Ladies Night
across the street,
762
00:34:37,716 --> 00:34:39,785
at the adults only bar.
763
00:34:40,785 --> 00:34:43,822
Hey, man, chill, okay?
Dad gotta take a pee.
764
00:34:45,524 --> 00:34:46,292
[boy] Okay.
765
00:34:48,660 --> 00:34:50,596
- [groans]
- [urinating]
766
00:34:53,865 --> 00:34:54,964
- Oh!
- [giggles]
767
00:34:54,966 --> 00:34:57,033
No. No,
you shouldn't be in here.
768
00:34:57,035 --> 00:34:58,537
Boy, what you be doing?
769
00:34:59,104 --> 00:35:00,970
Get out.
Please, respect my privacy.
770
00:35:00,972 --> 00:35:01,803
[boy talking,
indistinct]
771
00:35:01,805 --> 00:35:03,441
[Elliot]
You could not be in here.
772
00:35:03,874 --> 00:35:05,008
- Oh, hell, no!
- Get out.
773
00:35:05,010 --> 00:35:06,912
[boy laughing]
774
00:35:08,979 --> 00:35:11,850
No, no, no! This must look
rather inappropriate.
775
00:35:12,651 --> 00:35:14,654
You nasty motherfucker!
776
00:35:14,986 --> 00:35:17,823
- Wait, I can't find Princess.
- Princess is gonna take a little time-out.
777
00:35:19,091 --> 00:35:21,527
Go! Start the car!
778
00:35:22,727 --> 00:35:23,561
[Joey] What are you doing?
779
00:35:24,428 --> 00:35:25,298
Go! Go, go!
780
00:35:25,997 --> 00:35:27,363
Go! Go!
781
00:35:27,365 --> 00:35:28,533
- Go! Go! Go!
- That's right, you better run!
782
00:35:29,935 --> 00:35:31,470
You better run. I'll find you.
783
00:35:31,769 --> 00:35:33,472
- Come on!
- Big-Slurping motherfucker!
784
00:35:34,004 --> 00:35:35,772
- [boy laughing]
- It's not funny.
785
00:35:35,774 --> 00:35:37,540
[laughing continues]
786
00:35:37,542 --> 00:35:38,611
It's not funny.
787
00:35:39,510 --> 00:35:41,477
[Joey] Did you just lure
that man's child?
788
00:35:41,479 --> 00:35:43,379
[Elliot] No, I didn't do
any luring at all.
789
00:35:43,381 --> 00:35:45,717
Okay, I think the real question
is: Are you a child molester?
790
00:35:46,385 --> 00:35:49,522
No, I didn't think we'd actually have
to clarify that bit. No, I am not.
791
00:35:50,388 --> 00:35:52,821
- Is this a British thing?
- Yeah, I hear Brits are really into that.
792
00:35:52,823 --> 00:35:53,459
[Fridge]
Yeah.
793
00:35:54,593 --> 00:35:56,392
- I'm not down with that.
- [all laughing]
794
00:35:56,394 --> 00:35:57,361
[Elliot] Ha, ha, ha, ha.
795
00:35:57,363 --> 00:35:59,631
- That's not cool.
- Very funny. Very, very funny.
796
00:36:00,698 --> 00:36:02,064
- Give me a K!
- [all] K!
797
00:36:02,066 --> 00:36:04,066
You got your K,
you got your K!
798
00:36:04,068 --> 00:36:05,769
Give me an A! A!
799
00:36:05,771 --> 00:36:07,870
You got your A,
you got your A!
800
00:36:07,872 --> 00:36:09,071
- Give me a double-P!
- Double-P!
801
00:36:09,073 --> 00:36:10,973
You got your P,
you got your P!
802
00:36:10,975 --> 00:36:11,843
Give me an A!
803
00:36:13,044 --> 00:36:13,846
I don't know this song.
804
00:36:15,714 --> 00:36:16,682
Give me an A!
805
00:36:17,415 --> 00:36:18,050
You got your A.
806
00:36:19,684 --> 00:36:21,553
[singing in Spanish]
807
00:36:28,693 --> 00:36:31,897
[holds note]
808
00:36:32,863 --> 00:36:34,999
[singing continues,
stops]
809
00:36:38,437 --> 00:36:42,439
There's a gas station up the road,
if she could have just waited.
810
00:36:42,441 --> 00:36:43,542
I can hear you.
811
00:36:43,809 --> 00:36:46,442
When I have to go,
I have to go!
812
00:36:46,444 --> 00:36:49,446
I heard Brad Schlonghauser's
gonna be at this party.
813
00:36:49,448 --> 00:36:51,083
Oh, God, don't tell me that.
814
00:36:51,816 --> 00:36:53,850
Why? This could be your chance
to get him back.
815
00:36:53,852 --> 00:36:55,554
I don't want him back.
816
00:36:55,854 --> 00:36:58,187
Him dumping me was the best
thing that could have happened.
817
00:36:58,189 --> 00:37:00,091
He's like a juiced-up
Ken doll.
818
00:37:00,859 --> 00:37:02,995
Can you turn the other way? You're
kind of giving me stage fright.
819
00:37:04,528 --> 00:37:05,530
I seen it all before.
820
00:37:06,765 --> 00:37:07,533
[whispers]
Lots of times.
821
00:37:08,700 --> 00:37:11,102
- Sky?
- Can you hurry this up?
822
00:37:12,102 --> 00:37:12,871
Thank you.
823
00:37:14,472 --> 00:37:16,506
"Hey ladies, I'm Brad.
824
00:37:16,508 --> 00:37:20,209
I've got a plastic stump instead
of a dick, like an action figure."
825
00:37:20,211 --> 00:37:23,979
"Hey ladies, I'm Brad. I Instagram
myself daily at the gym,
826
00:37:23,981 --> 00:37:24,983
doing squats."
827
00:37:25,917 --> 00:37:28,051
[Amy] But he's so hot,
though.
828
00:37:28,053 --> 00:37:29,752
I feel like we've been here
for an hour.
829
00:37:29,754 --> 00:37:32,658
Okay, well, it takes me a long
time because you kept talking.
830
00:37:32,890 --> 00:37:34,526
- Well, now it's my turn, so...
- Okay.
831
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:36,662
Look out for a girl.
832
00:37:37,162 --> 00:37:37,897
[grunts]
833
00:37:40,064 --> 00:37:41,499
You'll need to
find some tissue.
834
00:37:42,633 --> 00:37:43,802
I have a feeling this isn't
just gonna be a number one.
835
00:37:44,568 --> 00:37:45,868
- [farts]
- Sky?
836
00:37:45,870 --> 00:37:47,504
Oh, my fucking God.
837
00:37:47,506 --> 00:37:48,140
[Shu] Sky?
838
00:37:50,575 --> 00:37:52,107
Oh, my... Oh, my God.
839
00:37:52,109 --> 00:37:53,111
Oh, my God!
840
00:37:53,678 --> 00:37:56,044
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
841
00:37:56,046 --> 00:37:58,016
Oh, my God, that's deadly!
842
00:38:02,086 --> 00:38:04,489
[Joey] Yo, stop the car!
Yo, back up. Back up.
843
00:38:05,122 --> 00:38:06,157
[Sean] Oh, come on, Joey, no.
844
00:38:08,059 --> 00:38:09,461
[bell jingles]
845
00:38:11,196 --> 00:38:13,595
It's just frat letters
on my chest... KOK.
846
00:38:13,597 --> 00:38:14,730
- [door closes]
- [bell jingles]
847
00:38:14,732 --> 00:38:16,165
Like a true frat star
for the party.
848
00:38:16,167 --> 00:38:19,134
Yeah, but it's not just for the
party, it's your life, man.
849
00:38:19,136 --> 00:38:20,035
It's permanent.
850
00:38:20,037 --> 00:38:22,574
Yeah, we're frat brothers
for life, so...
851
00:38:23,107 --> 00:38:24,008
I'm cool with permanent.
852
00:38:25,943 --> 00:38:27,779
You little lambs
got an appointment?
853
00:38:28,647 --> 00:38:29,982
"Little lambs"?
854
00:38:31,316 --> 00:38:33,750
Not that you need one. I ain't
done a tattoo in over a month.
855
00:38:33,752 --> 00:38:35,151
[chuckles]
856
00:38:35,153 --> 00:38:36,522
Yo, I've changed my mind.
857
00:38:37,088 --> 00:38:38,122
- Thank God, let's go.
- No.
858
00:38:39,823 --> 00:38:40,626
I don't want the frat letters.
859
00:38:41,660 --> 00:38:42,928
I want those.
860
00:38:44,361 --> 00:38:47,265
Oh, no, no, no. See, those are in
memory of people who have passed away.
861
00:38:47,865 --> 00:38:48,967
Sorry for your loss.
862
00:38:50,234 --> 00:38:51,937
Or people you've murdered.
863
00:38:52,736 --> 00:38:54,539
- What?
- Right.
864
00:38:54,772 --> 00:38:55,872
[whispers] Let's get
the fuck out of here.
865
00:38:55,874 --> 00:38:56,939
I wanna rock that shit.
866
00:38:56,941 --> 00:38:59,142
- Joe, I love you.
- Homo.
867
00:38:59,144 --> 00:39:02,111
You're my brother, but you gotta
trust me when I tell you,
868
00:39:02,113 --> 00:39:04,116
you don't want that
tattooed on your face.
869
00:39:04,582 --> 00:39:05,818
I want it in memory of Mom.
870
00:39:08,185 --> 00:39:09,053
Oh, well...
871
00:39:11,156 --> 00:39:12,758
[needle buzzing]
872
00:39:13,892 --> 00:39:14,993
[meows]
873
00:39:16,694 --> 00:39:17,830
Damn dog.
874
00:39:18,997 --> 00:39:20,129
He's shitting all over the house.
It's everywhere.
875
00:39:20,131 --> 00:39:21,064
Oh, God.
876
00:39:21,066 --> 00:39:22,701
- [sneezes]
- Oh, dear God.
877
00:39:22,968 --> 00:39:24,537
[buzzing continues]
878
00:39:24,736 --> 00:39:26,038
- [man] You got a name?
- Joey.
879
00:39:26,805 --> 00:39:28,173
AKA Young Joseph.
880
00:39:29,140 --> 00:39:30,009
They call me Dirty.
881
00:39:31,343 --> 00:39:32,845
You know how I got my name?
882
00:39:33,144 --> 00:39:35,046
Well, it wouldn't take a
rocket scientist, right?
883
00:39:35,379 --> 00:39:37,212
No, why?
884
00:39:37,214 --> 00:39:40,116
Now, it all started when I was
just, like, a little gator.
885
00:39:40,118 --> 00:39:42,919
You know, I'd run around fixing
what needed to be fixing...
886
00:39:42,921 --> 00:39:45,888
[chuckles] and beating on
whatever needed to be beat on.
887
00:39:45,890 --> 00:39:49,625
And my auntie was breastfeeding
my baby sister.
888
00:39:49,627 --> 00:39:53,129
And I come in from the yard
all covered in mud and blood.
889
00:39:53,131 --> 00:39:55,734
Now, my momma said,
"Boy, your hands are..."
890
00:39:57,035 --> 00:39:58,870
- Dirty?
- "Delicate."
891
00:39:59,870 --> 00:40:01,803
So she tells me to use my hands
892
00:40:01,805 --> 00:40:04,042
to clean the dead vermin
out of the drain.
893
00:40:04,309 --> 00:40:07,680
So, I reach my hands
right down in there
894
00:40:08,146 --> 00:40:11,013
and use my nails
to scrape off the goo and guts.
895
00:40:11,015 --> 00:40:12,350
And my daddy says,
896
00:40:12,816 --> 00:40:15,787
- "Boy, you sure are..."
- Dirty.
897
00:40:16,854 --> 00:40:17,722
"Detailed."
898
00:40:19,823 --> 00:40:21,961
Years later,
when I got my own trailer,
899
00:40:22,693 --> 00:40:24,862
and the refrigerator's
full of mice
900
00:40:25,162 --> 00:40:26,928
and the john's full of flies
901
00:40:26,930 --> 00:40:29,200
and there's roaches
all over the bed,
902
00:40:29,734 --> 00:40:32,705
everybody kept saying,
"Boy, your trailer sure is..."
903
00:40:34,238 --> 00:40:37,006
Well, I mean, I think the
word should be "dirty,"
904
00:40:37,008 --> 00:40:38,711
but I'm guessing
it was something else.
905
00:40:38,910 --> 00:40:39,812
"Designer."
906
00:40:40,678 --> 00:40:42,145
[laughs]
907
00:40:42,147 --> 00:40:44,650
And I laugh. I laugh, like a...
908
00:40:46,251 --> 00:40:48,854
[laughs and coughs]
909
00:40:52,890 --> 00:40:54,892
[laughing nervously]
910
00:40:57,227 --> 00:40:59,130
Grown man being called designer?
911
00:41:00,298 --> 00:41:03,198
Well, that sure is funny.
912
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:05,801
Um... So, maybe we should
just end on that high note.
913
00:41:05,803 --> 00:41:07,270
- Maybe we should.
- Yeah.
914
00:41:07,272 --> 00:41:10,776
No, no, no, guys. Before we go,
we should probably find out.
915
00:41:11,142 --> 00:41:13,779
Why do they call you "Dirty"?
916
00:41:15,979 --> 00:41:20,019
My twin brother. He's an
unhygienic piece of shit.
917
00:41:20,385 --> 00:41:23,122
They always getting us
confused and the name stuck.
918
00:41:24,122 --> 00:41:26,357
Mistaken identity. I hate when
that shit happens, you know?
919
00:41:27,825 --> 00:41:29,091
[Joey laughs crazily]
920
00:41:29,093 --> 00:41:31,129
So, how much does this cost?
921
00:41:31,495 --> 00:41:34,298
- Two hundred dollars.
- Fuck that. I can't afford that.
922
00:41:34,832 --> 00:41:37,165
- Excuse me?
- Okay, how about a hundred?
923
00:41:37,167 --> 00:41:39,167
Hey, how about 300?
924
00:41:39,169 --> 00:41:42,037
How about payment
in the form of a pet cat?
925
00:41:42,039 --> 00:41:44,073
Fuck you and your cat.
926
00:41:44,075 --> 00:41:46,345
[Elliot] How much would the work
you've already done cost us?
927
00:41:50,013 --> 00:41:50,816
Fifty dollars.
928
00:41:53,350 --> 00:41:55,053
- Yeah?
- [Elliot] That was worth it.
929
00:41:58,122 --> 00:41:59,758
I dig it. That's cool.
930
00:42:02,926 --> 00:42:05,060
Oh, wow, place looks good, Shu.
Nice work.
931
00:42:05,062 --> 00:42:06,898
You're welcome. Give it up.
932
00:42:07,464 --> 00:42:09,334
[Shu] Are you still
bringing your bedsheets?
933
00:42:09,801 --> 00:42:11,837
Do you know how dirty
the hotel ones are?
934
00:42:12,069 --> 00:42:12,870
Hell, yeah.
935
00:42:13,138 --> 00:42:15,171
I saw a documentary.
936
00:42:15,173 --> 00:42:18,010
They found 6,000 traces of shit just
on the light switch of the hotel.
937
00:42:18,776 --> 00:42:22,080
And, like, ten million
traces of, like, jizz
938
00:42:22,347 --> 00:42:24,816
all over the TV screen, like...
[imitates spraying]
939
00:42:25,415 --> 00:42:26,452
- [yelps]
- Oh.
940
00:42:27,785 --> 00:42:30,486
Let's play truth or dare
tonight.
941
00:42:30,488 --> 00:42:32,725
- Oh, my God.
- What are we, five years old?
942
00:42:33,258 --> 00:42:34,158
I don't play that game anymore.
943
00:42:34,792 --> 00:42:35,794
That's how I ended up in county.
944
00:42:36,327 --> 00:42:37,495
As in, county jail?
945
00:42:39,129 --> 00:42:41,133
What? I didn't know
you went to jail.
946
00:42:42,300 --> 00:42:44,435
Think they'd let me work at school
if they knew I served time?
947
00:42:44,968 --> 00:42:47,035
I stole someone's identity.
We're all good.
948
00:42:47,037 --> 00:42:48,072
[nervous chuckle]
949
00:42:48,839 --> 00:42:50,075
[grunts, exhales]
950
00:42:51,176 --> 00:42:52,411
Amy, bedmates.
951
00:42:52,877 --> 00:42:53,812
For sure.
952
00:42:55,046 --> 00:42:56,248
Don't drop the soap.
953
00:42:58,348 --> 00:43:00,218
[Elliot] Oh, for fuck's sake.
954
00:43:00,984 --> 00:43:02,884
[Fridge] I don't know, it's got
pretty good reviews online.
955
00:43:02,886 --> 00:43:05,124
[Sean] Yeah, from serial killers
and rapists?
956
00:43:07,191 --> 00:43:08,426
No, I got it. I got it.
957
00:43:17,202 --> 00:43:18,267
- Just come on.
- I got it.
958
00:43:18,269 --> 00:43:20,071
- Come on.
- No, I got it. I got it.
959
00:43:21,839 --> 00:43:22,374
Dude.
960
00:43:24,475 --> 00:43:25,444
- Thanks, guys.
- No problem.
961
00:43:26,276 --> 00:43:27,245
[bell rings]
962
00:43:28,111 --> 00:43:29,912
[television, indistinct]
963
00:43:29,914 --> 00:43:31,249
- [Joey] Are you open?
- [sighs]
964
00:43:32,984 --> 00:43:34,219
Of course we're open, man.
965
00:43:35,019 --> 00:43:36,955
[speaks foreign
language] Sixty years.
966
00:43:38,089 --> 00:43:39,792
And I'm the best around here,
do you know?
967
00:43:40,057 --> 00:43:42,460
I watch movies all the time.
I watch all day...
968
00:43:43,528 --> 00:43:44,495
[speaking
foreign language]
969
00:43:46,064 --> 00:43:47,065
How you doing?
970
00:43:48,131 --> 00:43:49,801
- Me?
- Are you talking to me?
971
00:43:52,269 --> 00:43:53,437
[speaking
foreign language]
972
00:43:54,272 --> 00:43:56,809
He has to call you this.
He has to call you this.
973
00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:59,845
[speaking
foreign language]
974
00:44:01,312 --> 00:44:03,048
What do you mean by that,
Mr. Sosa?
975
00:44:03,414 --> 00:44:04,383
[speaking
foreign language]
976
00:44:05,584 --> 00:44:07,917
- Is that British?
- No, that's definitely not British.
977
00:44:07,919 --> 00:44:09,451
- How do you know?
- That's not British.
978
00:44:09,453 --> 00:44:10,886
- How do you know?
- Don't worry.
979
00:44:10,888 --> 00:44:12,490
I studied languages
in high school.
980
00:44:13,156 --> 00:44:15,093
I'll take care of this.
[clears throat]
981
00:44:15,426 --> 00:44:19,095
Um... Achtung.
We want a room.
982
00:44:19,097 --> 00:44:20,363
No, fuck that.
I'm not sharing a room.
983
00:44:20,365 --> 00:44:22,397
- [Elliot] Why?
- Because...
984
00:44:22,399 --> 00:44:24,399
I'm bringing chicks back and I don't
need you freaks voyeuring in on me.
985
00:44:24,401 --> 00:44:26,201
Where do you expect
to find women?
986
00:44:26,203 --> 00:44:28,303
- I told you there was a hook-up adult place across the street.
- Huh?
987
00:44:28,305 --> 00:44:29,607
How are you gonna get in?
Come on.
988
00:44:31,575 --> 00:44:35,410
[whispers] Tonight is
special on some ladies.
989
00:44:35,412 --> 00:44:38,214
- Ladies?
- Some... sex!
990
00:44:38,216 --> 00:44:40,015
- [Joey] Sex? Yes.
- I definitely heard something about sex.
991
00:44:40,017 --> 00:44:42,887
Fuck, yeah. Let's get wasted
and have some sex with ladies.
992
00:44:43,521 --> 00:44:45,587
You know what? I'm beat.
I'm just gonna go to bed.
993
00:44:45,589 --> 00:44:48,591
Yeah, you know what? I just wanna lay
down in my bed and think about Fatima.
994
00:44:48,593 --> 00:44:50,091
No.
995
00:44:50,093 --> 00:44:52,595
- It has been quite a long day.
- No. What? What? No.
996
00:44:52,597 --> 00:44:54,330
You'll wingman with me, yes?
Uh-huh?
997
00:44:54,332 --> 00:44:55,334
- Uh...
- Two rooms, my dude.
998
00:44:56,535 --> 00:44:57,500
You two choads can jerk each
other off in your room.
999
00:44:57,502 --> 00:44:59,567
Me and the Brit
are gonna be Eiffel Towering.
1000
00:44:59,569 --> 00:45:00,305
[Elliot]
What does that mean?
1001
00:45:05,243 --> 00:45:07,179
[PA: Muzak]
1002
00:45:14,118 --> 00:45:16,185
This is slightly disappointing.
1003
00:45:16,187 --> 00:45:17,122
It's a little early.
1004
00:45:17,622 --> 00:45:18,457
Yeah.
1005
00:45:19,356 --> 00:45:20,224
Let's get some drinks.
1006
00:45:21,091 --> 00:45:22,660
- All right. Okay.
- Let's get some drinks.
1007
00:45:25,129 --> 00:45:26,531
[Joey] Line us up some
brew-ha-has, my man.
1008
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:30,502
No?
1009
00:45:31,401 --> 00:45:33,004
We're serving
brain-ticklers tonight.
1010
00:45:34,638 --> 00:45:37,573
Hmm. Not... Probably not quite
what we had in mind. Is there...
1011
00:45:37,575 --> 00:45:38,944
That's all we're serving.
1012
00:45:39,644 --> 00:45:40,479
What's in a brain-tickler?
1013
00:45:41,546 --> 00:45:43,048
Brain. Tickler.
1014
00:45:44,214 --> 00:45:45,050
Yeah,
I'm gonna take two of them.
1015
00:45:46,249 --> 00:45:47,385
- [Elliot] Um...
- [Joey] Yeah, you are.
1016
00:45:48,720 --> 00:45:50,321
- Beer or wine or...
- Stop.
1017
00:45:51,356 --> 00:45:52,290
Um...
1018
00:45:54,191 --> 00:45:56,058
[clicking tongue]
1019
00:45:56,060 --> 00:45:58,263
So have you, like, thought about
what you wanna do as a job?
1020
00:45:58,595 --> 00:46:00,462
Like, career path or anything?
1021
00:46:00,464 --> 00:46:01,432
Is that a rhetorical question?
1022
00:46:02,100 --> 00:46:03,635
No. No.
1023
00:46:04,167 --> 00:46:07,069
I'm not completely sure
you know what rhetorical means.
1024
00:46:07,071 --> 00:46:08,504
Of course I do.
I know what rhetorical means.
1025
00:46:08,506 --> 00:46:10,107
It's just your British accent.
1026
00:46:16,113 --> 00:46:16,714
Ah...
1027
00:46:17,515 --> 00:46:18,417
Cheers.
1028
00:46:21,551 --> 00:46:22,254
Wow.
1029
00:46:23,187 --> 00:46:24,720
[grunting]
1030
00:46:24,722 --> 00:46:26,658
- [whimpering]
- [moans]
1031
00:46:28,359 --> 00:46:29,691
I'm gonna take
four more of them.
1032
00:46:29,693 --> 00:46:31,095
Ooh, I don't know.
1033
00:46:31,796 --> 00:46:33,495
And you can keep them flowing.
1034
00:46:33,497 --> 00:46:35,330
- [hip-hop song playing]
- [man rapping]
1035
00:46:35,332 --> 00:46:37,566
- I don't know if I need any more of that.
- You look a little weird.
1036
00:46:37,568 --> 00:46:39,234
Feeling quite uncomfortable,
actually. Quite strange.
1037
00:46:39,236 --> 00:46:40,368
I feel great.
1038
00:46:40,370 --> 00:46:42,206
[song continues]
1039
00:46:45,042 --> 00:46:46,207
Ooh.
1040
00:46:46,209 --> 00:46:47,646
[both singing]
1041
00:46:53,316 --> 00:46:55,486
[singing continues]
1042
00:47:00,524 --> 00:47:02,493
[singing continues]
1043
00:47:06,664 --> 00:47:08,330
- Was that the right song?
- I don't know.
1044
00:47:08,332 --> 00:47:09,634
[hip-hop song continues]
1045
00:47:14,439 --> 00:47:16,238
[hip-hop song ends]
1046
00:47:16,240 --> 00:47:19,077
I don't know if I like my brains
being tickled, you know?
1047
00:47:21,546 --> 00:47:23,212
[sighs]
1048
00:47:23,214 --> 00:47:26,582
And you know, also, I'm not sold
on this whole, like,
1049
00:47:26,584 --> 00:47:29,354
- "be mean to girls and they'll like you" theory.
- No!
1050
00:47:30,153 --> 00:47:32,187
Trust me. Be a dick!
1051
00:47:32,189 --> 00:47:33,457
Next girl that walks in here,
be a dick.
1052
00:47:35,359 --> 00:47:39,160
I don't know, I'd really prefer
to just be nice, you know?
1053
00:47:39,162 --> 00:47:42,733
No. No. None of this nice guy,
British bullshit.
1054
00:47:43,501 --> 00:47:44,502
It's... It's bullshit.
1055
00:47:46,437 --> 00:47:48,640
I just... I like to be
nice and polite here.
1056
00:47:54,678 --> 00:47:57,214
See? It's meant to happen.
1057
00:47:57,647 --> 00:47:58,682
I... I knew it.
1058
00:48:00,350 --> 00:48:02,250
Ladies, hi!
1059
00:48:02,252 --> 00:48:03,218
[hip-hop song playing]
1060
00:48:03,220 --> 00:48:05,689
- Come join us.
- Okay.
1061
00:48:07,225 --> 00:48:08,427
Hi!
1062
00:48:08,792 --> 00:48:10,758
- Pleasure to meet you, I'm Elliot.
- Hi. Joey.
1063
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:11,593
- [woman] Hi.
- Good evening.
1064
00:48:11,595 --> 00:48:12,696
I mean, that weather...
1065
00:48:14,464 --> 00:48:16,598
- Stop it. Stop.
- It's good. It's been good.
1066
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:17,633
- Be a dick.
- [whispers] I don't wanna do it.
1067
00:48:17,635 --> 00:48:19,437
Shut the fuck up
and be a dick.
1068
00:48:19,870 --> 00:48:21,639
- Be a dick.
- Okay, okay. I'll try, I'll try.
1069
00:48:25,843 --> 00:48:27,142
[song stops]
1070
00:48:27,144 --> 00:48:28,713
[exclaims] You, uh...
1071
00:48:30,314 --> 00:48:32,584
You certainly are,
uh, smelly.
1072
00:48:34,385 --> 00:48:35,252
Aren't you?
1073
00:48:37,722 --> 00:48:41,626
Oh. Well, you're certainly
turning me on.
1074
00:48:42,660 --> 00:48:44,192
- Wh...
- [Joey] Whoa!
1075
00:48:44,194 --> 00:48:44,863
Whoa!
1076
00:48:45,897 --> 00:48:47,766
- You're a fucking master at this.
- Oh, yeah.
1077
00:48:48,198 --> 00:48:49,732
- [song resumes]
- [sniffs] Oh, you stink.
1078
00:48:49,734 --> 00:48:51,332
Oh!
Did you just queef?
1079
00:48:51,334 --> 00:48:52,868
Keep them flowing.
1080
00:48:52,870 --> 00:48:55,337
You want a drink, you fat
pig-horse with hepatitis?
1081
00:48:55,339 --> 00:48:56,604
British.
1082
00:48:56,606 --> 00:48:57,742
Stop breathing on me.
You reek.
1083
00:48:58,709 --> 00:49:01,877
You're a disturbed, demented,
old wrinkly goat, aren't you?
1084
00:49:01,879 --> 00:49:03,248
What's that,
your vagina or something?
1085
00:49:04,448 --> 00:49:07,383
Stinks of fish and shit...
and stuff.
1086
00:49:07,385 --> 00:49:10,455
I look at you and I just see
a soiled diaper in a dress.
1087
00:49:12,390 --> 00:49:14,189
Ready to shag,
you dirty troll?
1088
00:49:14,191 --> 00:49:15,659
- [glass clatters]
- [body thuds]
1089
00:49:16,593 --> 00:49:17,561
[song stops]
1090
00:49:21,765 --> 00:49:23,234
[groans]
1091
00:49:37,347 --> 00:49:37,915
How you doing?
1092
00:49:41,252 --> 00:49:44,352
Hey. Hey there,
Mr. James Bond.
1093
00:49:44,354 --> 00:49:45,654
I still need to get paid.
1094
00:49:45,656 --> 00:49:46,754
What, a righteous one?
1095
00:49:46,756 --> 00:49:48,357
Oh, what are you
hiding under there?
1096
00:49:48,359 --> 00:49:50,725
- Nothing.
- Is somebody else awake, finally?
1097
00:49:50,727 --> 00:49:53,361
- No!
- Come on, 007.
1098
00:49:53,363 --> 00:49:56,497
- No, no!
- This dirty troll still wants to get shagged.
1099
00:49:56,499 --> 00:49:58,299
- Go away.
- Fancy a little rough-housing, eh?
1100
00:49:58,301 --> 00:49:59,734
No, I don't. No...
[groans]
1101
00:49:59,736 --> 00:50:01,337
- A little rough-housing will do you.
- No.
1102
00:50:01,339 --> 00:50:02,638
Huh? Huh?
1103
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:04,542
Like it rough, a little rough?
1104
00:50:04,908 --> 00:50:06,575
You like... You like...
1105
00:50:06,577 --> 00:50:07,810
[Elliot whimpering]
1106
00:50:07,812 --> 00:50:08,644
- [kicks]
- Get...
1107
00:50:08,646 --> 00:50:09,814
- Oh!
- [body thuds]
1108
00:50:11,649 --> 00:50:12,484
[Joey] Dude.
1109
00:50:13,551 --> 00:50:14,553
Did you just knock her out?
1110
00:50:14,752 --> 00:50:16,986
No, I... It's not a her,
it's a he.
1111
00:50:16,988 --> 00:50:18,654
It's a man. It's a man.
1112
00:50:18,656 --> 00:50:21,022
- [kissing noise]
- Oh, shit!
1113
00:50:21,024 --> 00:50:22,323
[screaming]
1114
00:50:22,325 --> 00:50:24,026
[shouts, laughs]
1115
00:50:24,028 --> 00:50:25,961
- I'm sorry.
- What did you do to Travis?
1116
00:50:25,963 --> 00:50:26,897
No. I'm sorry.
[screams]
1117
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:32,270
[Sean] You did not! Oh, my God!
1118
00:50:32,535 --> 00:50:34,370
[Fridge] Wow. You're really
into some freaky shit, huh?
1119
00:50:34,372 --> 00:50:36,839
First you molest a kid
and now you fight a tranny?
1120
00:50:36,841 --> 00:50:40,743
I didn't... know she was a he. That
brain-tickler drink fucked me up.
1121
00:50:40,745 --> 00:50:42,380
[Sean] Well, you didn't
have to beat her.
1122
00:50:43,948 --> 00:50:46,982
How about you try wrestling with a 200-pound
man-woman trying to grab your penis?
1123
00:50:46,984 --> 00:50:48,450
- I have!
- What?
1124
00:50:48,452 --> 00:50:51,356
- Did you do anything with her?
- No! Thank God.
1125
00:50:52,789 --> 00:50:53,724
Joe?
1126
00:50:54,925 --> 00:50:56,058
[Joey] Define "anything."
1127
00:50:56,060 --> 00:50:57,325
- [Sean] No!
- [Fridge] What?
1128
00:50:57,327 --> 00:50:59,663
Oh! [laughing] Oh!
1129
00:51:01,798 --> 00:51:03,501
[Sean] So, what did your lover
think of your new tat?
1130
00:51:06,771 --> 00:51:07,738
What?
1131
00:51:09,307 --> 00:51:11,810
Oh, whatever. Let's not act like I'm the
only one who got in bed with a tranny.
1132
00:51:14,879 --> 00:51:18,346
Anyways, at least my plan to get
El laid paid off. [laughing]
1133
00:51:18,348 --> 00:51:19,948
No, I didn't...
But I didn't get laid.
1134
00:51:19,950 --> 00:51:21,450
Can we just make that
totally clear?
1135
00:51:21,452 --> 00:51:23,354
I didn't do anything
with her, okay?
1136
00:51:25,423 --> 00:51:27,689
Point is... my plan is legit.
1137
00:51:27,691 --> 00:51:29,894
If you do that at the frat party,
panties are gonna just drop.
1138
00:51:30,894 --> 00:51:31,959
- No.
- Yeah.
1139
00:51:31,961 --> 00:51:32,795
No.
1140
00:51:33,930 --> 00:51:35,763
And look,
I'm really sorry to disappoint,
1141
00:51:35,765 --> 00:51:39,738
but I'm not into this whole, like,
"Let's get lots of chicks" thing.
1142
00:51:42,006 --> 00:51:43,841
Oh, please don't tell me
what I think you're gonna say.
1143
00:51:44,475 --> 00:51:45,441
What?
1144
00:51:45,443 --> 00:51:47,075
Please don't tell me you're gay.
1145
00:51:47,077 --> 00:51:49,111
I already have one gay brother, and
I just... I don't want another one.
1146
00:51:49,113 --> 00:51:50,682
I'm not gay, dude.
1147
00:51:52,682 --> 00:51:53,885
[Joey] Yeah,
we're going the wrong way.
1148
00:51:54,084 --> 00:51:55,720
[Sean] No, Skylar has
that surprise.
1149
00:51:59,589 --> 00:52:00,959
[Joey laughing]
1150
00:52:01,359 --> 00:52:02,524
You're disgusting.
1151
00:52:02,526 --> 00:52:03,728
[Joey] Oh, you should pull
your dick out.
1152
00:52:03,928 --> 00:52:05,730
I have no desire to do that.
1153
00:52:08,031 --> 00:52:08,999
What is this place?
1154
00:52:18,508 --> 00:52:19,910
Whoo-hoo!
1155
00:52:22,479 --> 00:52:24,011
[screaming, laughing]
1156
00:52:24,013 --> 00:52:26,818
[yelling]
1157
00:52:41,499 --> 00:52:42,834
Whoa! Oh!
1158
00:52:44,901 --> 00:52:46,804
[laughs]
1159
00:52:52,776 --> 00:52:54,044
I want to go home!
1160
00:53:01,051 --> 00:53:04,856
- So...
- Uh, so, this is crazy.
1161
00:53:05,055 --> 00:53:06,921
I don't know how you
found a place like this.
1162
00:53:06,923 --> 00:53:08,892
No, what do you think
of your new family?
1163
00:53:09,926 --> 00:53:12,930
Oh.
Yeah, they're, um...
1164
00:53:15,432 --> 00:53:17,968
- They're gr... They're great. They're...
- Yeah. They are.
1165
00:53:20,805 --> 00:53:22,906
Just so you know, this is the
happiest I've ever seen them.
1166
00:53:24,874 --> 00:53:26,143
It really sucked
when their mom died.
1167
00:53:29,180 --> 00:53:31,515
Your mom has really
transformed Michaelson.
1168
00:53:37,220 --> 00:53:39,488
Eh... He's a bit odd,
isn't he?
1169
00:53:39,490 --> 00:53:41,426
- Oh, he's weird as shit.
- Yeah. Yeah, I think.
1170
00:53:41,859 --> 00:53:42,994
But in the best way.
1171
00:53:46,464 --> 00:53:48,767
To be honest, the fact he's around
makes him better than my dad was.
1172
00:53:49,732 --> 00:53:51,970
I just don't want to see my mom
getting hurt again.
1173
00:53:54,004 --> 00:53:57,142
Anyway... I shouldn't
talk to you about that.
1174
00:53:57,807 --> 00:54:00,644
No, of course. It's your mom.
1175
00:54:00,977 --> 00:54:01,745
You should be protective.
1176
00:54:03,481 --> 00:54:04,745
I can't wait to meet her,
by the way.
1177
00:54:04,747 --> 00:54:06,747
Oh, she can't wait
to meet you, yeah.
1178
00:54:06,749 --> 00:54:08,685
- You told her about me.
- No, I didn't.
1179
00:54:09,486 --> 00:54:10,155
Um...
1180
00:54:10,787 --> 00:54:12,423
No, maybe. I think just in...
1181
00:54:12,856 --> 00:54:14,725
- I don't know, maybe in passing.
- Right, yeah.
1182
00:54:16,026 --> 00:54:16,660
Just in passing.
1183
00:54:18,062 --> 00:54:19,464
Just an accident
or something.
1184
00:54:25,169 --> 00:54:27,002
So, I heard Fridge
is riding with the girls.
1185
00:54:27,004 --> 00:54:27,872
Do you want to come in our car?
1186
00:54:28,705 --> 00:54:29,841
Yeah, I'd love to.
1187
00:54:43,620 --> 00:54:46,957
I'm a real aficionado
for humorous apparel.
1188
00:54:47,857 --> 00:54:50,727
I have a range of humorous,
hilarious T-shirts.
1189
00:54:51,095 --> 00:54:53,698
Such as "Orgasm Donor."
1190
00:54:53,897 --> 00:54:56,131
Oh, like in "organ donor,"
1191
00:54:56,133 --> 00:54:57,100
- but with an orgasm.
- Orgasm.
1192
00:54:58,167 --> 00:54:59,838
- Yeah.
- I appreciate that.
1193
00:55:00,870 --> 00:55:02,571
I have another one that says,
1194
00:55:02,573 --> 00:55:05,910
"My idea of a balanced meal
is a beer in each hand."
1195
00:55:06,544 --> 00:55:07,145
Amen.
1196
00:55:08,044 --> 00:55:09,977
Please stop.
1197
00:55:09,979 --> 00:55:12,548
And I just ordered this new one.
It says, "FBI,"
1198
00:55:12,550 --> 00:55:13,651
but underneath it, it says...
1199
00:55:14,651 --> 00:55:15,819
Oh, "Female Body Inspector."
1200
00:55:16,754 --> 00:55:17,789
Yeah.
1201
00:55:25,963 --> 00:55:28,600
[Amy] I swear I'm gonna
crash this fucking car.
1202
00:55:28,798 --> 00:55:31,700
I got dumped, had to move
back in with my parents
1203
00:55:31,702 --> 00:55:34,671
because my salary doesn't cover
my student loan payments.
1204
00:55:35,606 --> 00:55:37,305
- It sucks.
- Yeah.
1205
00:55:37,307 --> 00:55:40,210
But how boring would it be if we
had it all figured out, right?
1206
00:55:40,843 --> 00:55:42,944
That's true. It would be
pretty boring, wouldn't it?
1207
00:55:42,946 --> 00:55:43,981
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1208
00:55:45,249 --> 00:55:46,917
What an idiot.
1209
00:55:48,385 --> 00:55:50,120
Your ex-boyfriend. A complete moron.
He's... He's gonna regret that forever.
1210
00:55:50,921 --> 00:55:52,787
I don't think he cares.
1211
00:55:52,789 --> 00:55:54,691
- Really?
- Apparently, he wanted someone better.
1212
00:55:55,325 --> 00:55:56,894
- That's why my ex dumped me.
- Really?
1213
00:55:57,595 --> 00:55:58,794
Well, she lost a keeper.
1214
00:55:58,796 --> 00:56:00,598
- She did, didn't she?
- Yeah, screw her!
1215
00:56:01,097 --> 00:56:02,165
Screw her.
1216
00:56:02,665 --> 00:56:04,799
Does she know that you're
a P-I-M-P?
1217
00:56:04,801 --> 00:56:06,104
I am a P-I-M-P.
1218
00:56:06,903 --> 00:56:08,639
I am. How did you know?
1219
00:56:09,339 --> 00:56:10,542
Okay. Turn your head.
1220
00:56:15,312 --> 00:56:16,681
No, Joey.
1221
00:56:20,084 --> 00:56:21,586
Can you drop me
at the sorority, Sean?
1222
00:56:22,252 --> 00:56:23,788
[Sean] Okay.
Can I come?
1223
00:56:41,171 --> 00:56:42,937
[all saying goodbye]
1224
00:56:42,939 --> 00:56:43,675
[Skylar] Bye-bye.
1225
00:56:46,075 --> 00:56:46,774
[Elliot] Don't let him in.
1226
00:56:46,776 --> 00:56:47,345
Fridge.
1227
00:56:47,877 --> 00:56:48,879
Come on, Fridge.
1228
00:56:49,912 --> 00:56:51,115
- Do it again.
- No, no, for real.
1229
00:56:52,015 --> 00:56:54,351
- Okay.
- Yay!
1230
00:56:55,185 --> 00:56:56,220
[Fatima]
See you at the party!
1231
00:56:57,187 --> 00:57:00,091
Whoo! College, baby!
Young Joseph is back!
1232
00:57:06,830 --> 00:57:07,699
[Elliot] Are we here?
1233
00:57:08,533 --> 00:57:09,801
Is this it?
Is this the fraternity?
1234
00:57:20,144 --> 00:57:21,111
[Joey] Welcome to heaven, boys.
1235
00:57:23,113 --> 00:57:24,749
Prepare for your world
to get rocked.
1236
00:57:25,682 --> 00:57:27,150
[TV, indistinct]
1237
00:57:33,057 --> 00:57:36,127
Well, I'm glad we drove all the
way for this. This is great.
1238
00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:38,829
Oh, this is kind of
disappointing.
1239
00:57:39,095 --> 00:57:40,764
I mean,
I brought my party shirt, so...
1240
00:57:41,164 --> 00:57:42,633
[man burps]
1241
00:57:43,100 --> 00:57:44,235
Bitches!
1242
00:57:44,968 --> 00:57:46,170
Oh, God fucking damn it.
1243
00:57:46,437 --> 00:57:48,437
Not Jeffrey.
Haven't you graduated yet?
1244
00:57:48,439 --> 00:57:52,143
Graduating is for losers, bro.
[chuckles]
1245
00:57:52,943 --> 00:57:55,444
Who wants to go shove a
marshmallow up a freshman's ass?
1246
00:57:55,446 --> 00:57:57,048
[shouting and whooping,
faint]
1247
00:57:57,914 --> 00:57:59,182
- [Jeffrey] Come on. Don't be gay.
- You hear that?
1248
00:58:04,321 --> 00:58:05,356
Let's do this.
1249
00:58:06,022 --> 00:58:07,988
- [all chanting] Go! Go! Go!
- [snorting]
1250
00:58:07,990 --> 00:58:09,426
[chanting continues]
1251
00:58:11,894 --> 00:58:13,495
[all shouting]
1252
00:58:13,497 --> 00:58:16,667
- [rock song playing]
- [man rapping]
1253
00:58:22,805 --> 00:58:24,242
[indistinct]
1254
00:58:25,475 --> 00:58:27,744
[indistinct]
1255
00:58:31,848 --> 00:58:32,980
[pop playing on speakers]
1256
00:58:32,982 --> 00:58:34,751
It's so weird
being back here.
1257
00:58:35,051 --> 00:58:35,819
Right?
1258
00:58:37,187 --> 00:58:39,821
Let's do
a "getting ready" selfie.
1259
00:58:39,823 --> 00:58:41,823
The OGs run
through campus tonight.
1260
00:58:41,825 --> 00:58:42,823
- Hell, yeah.
- Yeah.
1261
00:58:42,825 --> 00:58:43,327
[shutter clicks]
1262
00:58:44,528 --> 00:58:45,963
Hashtag Hotties.
1263
00:58:46,296 --> 00:58:47,828
Hashtag NoFilter.
1264
00:58:47,830 --> 00:58:49,466
Hashtag WeWokeUpLikeThis.
1265
00:58:49,899 --> 00:58:51,334
Hashtag Blessed.
1266
00:58:51,769 --> 00:58:52,970
- [spraying]
- [Fatima] Febrezing my vageezy.
1267
00:58:54,138 --> 00:58:58,042
[dance music on speakers]
1268
00:59:11,522 --> 00:59:13,124
See? Didn't I tell you?
1269
00:59:14,024 --> 00:59:15,259
Yes, you did.
1270
00:59:17,894 --> 00:59:18,495
Hello, you.
1271
00:59:19,463 --> 00:59:22,066
When are the...
When are the girls getting here?
1272
00:59:22,332 --> 00:59:24,502
It would be nice to
hang out with Skylar.
1273
00:59:25,868 --> 00:59:28,238
Yeah, I think I want to hang out
with Fatima, too.
1274
00:59:28,972 --> 00:59:29,941
Bro, she's gross. Seriously.
1275
00:59:33,142 --> 00:59:34,475
What the fuck, Joe?
1276
00:59:34,477 --> 00:59:37,280
What? Oh, she is.
You both know it.
1277
00:59:38,548 --> 00:59:39,916
But he likes her.
1278
00:59:41,084 --> 00:59:43,453
[hip-hop song playing
on speakers]
1279
00:59:43,886 --> 00:59:45,022
[Joey] It's the frat president,
Eric Stahl, yo.
1280
00:59:45,421 --> 00:59:47,290
Yo, sick party, Eric.
1281
00:59:48,392 --> 00:59:51,062
- Who the fuck are you?
- Joey.
1282
00:59:53,463 --> 00:59:55,129
- I used to be a frat legend.
- You?
1283
00:59:55,131 --> 00:59:56,964
[laughs]
1284
00:59:56,966 --> 00:59:58,035
[indistinct]
1285
00:59:58,968 --> 00:59:59,870
I've never heard of you.
1286
01:00:01,171 --> 01:00:02,839
And you're old as shit, bro.
1287
01:00:03,207 --> 01:00:04,842
No fucking legend.
1288
01:00:08,312 --> 01:00:10,145
- What up, guys!
- Hey, girls. Hi.
1289
01:00:10,147 --> 01:00:11,349
- Hello.
- Hi.
1290
01:00:12,348 --> 01:00:15,015
- Where's Fridge?
- He went inside 'cause...
1291
01:00:15,017 --> 01:00:17,852
- Shot-off!
- [all cheering]
1292
01:00:17,854 --> 01:00:19,322
Let's go. Come on. Get inside.
1293
01:00:19,923 --> 01:00:21,455
- I'm gonna go find Fridge.
- Okay.
1294
01:00:21,457 --> 01:00:22,524
[Elliott]
What's a shot-off?
1295
01:00:22,526 --> 01:00:23,892
Drinks, ladies?
1296
01:00:23,894 --> 01:00:25,060
Drinks, drinks!
1297
01:00:25,062 --> 01:00:26,493
And shots. Drinks and shots.
1298
01:00:26,495 --> 01:00:27,397
Shots and drinks.
1299
01:00:30,200 --> 01:00:32,837
You gotta win this, bro. You gotta
prove that we're two rock stars.
1300
01:00:33,870 --> 01:00:36,039
There's a fucking live fish
in one of them.
1301
01:00:36,372 --> 01:00:38,305
You look nervous.
[chomps teeth]
1302
01:00:38,307 --> 01:00:40,107
Come on, you first, bitch.
1303
01:00:40,109 --> 01:00:42,509
[man] Basically, you take
it in turns to drink a cup.
1304
01:00:42,511 --> 01:00:44,314
[Eric] Don't think
about it, just do it.
1305
01:00:45,615 --> 01:00:47,517
[Eric] Ohh!
[laughs]
1306
01:00:49,986 --> 01:00:51,254
- [woman] Oh, my God.
- [Eric] Yeah!
1307
01:00:53,923 --> 01:00:55,192
[burps]
1308
01:00:55,658 --> 01:00:59,361
- O-M-fucking-G, Brad Schlonghauser's here.
- Oh, no.
1309
01:00:59,363 --> 01:01:00,832
Oh, yes.
1310
01:01:01,131 --> 01:01:02,300
I need a drink.
1311
01:01:04,301 --> 01:01:06,504
My favorite ladies.
1312
01:01:07,004 --> 01:01:07,939
You miss me?
1313
01:01:08,171 --> 01:01:09,506
[chuckles] Yeah.
1314
01:01:10,740 --> 01:01:13,140
You girls are like a fine wine,
you only get better with age.
1315
01:01:13,142 --> 01:01:14,345
Oh. Clever.
1316
01:01:16,178 --> 01:01:18,615
I have a vineyard, but...
1317
01:01:19,548 --> 01:01:23,086
why am I talking about wine when I
have champagne right in front of me?
1318
01:01:24,053 --> 01:01:27,555
I'm feeling that old...
electric vibe...
1319
01:01:27,557 --> 01:01:28,859
- Yeah.
- ...between us.
1320
01:01:29,926 --> 01:01:34,397
It's making my heart beat...
like a drum kit.
1321
01:01:35,598 --> 01:01:36,997
- Oh.
- [imitating drumming]
1322
01:01:36,999 --> 01:01:37,467
Okay.
1323
01:01:40,370 --> 01:01:41,405
You feeling that?
1324
01:01:42,171 --> 01:01:43,240
Feeling something.
1325
01:01:44,207 --> 01:01:45,309
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
1326
01:01:46,142 --> 01:01:47,278
To vomit.
1327
01:01:55,017 --> 01:01:56,253
So, Brad,
how long are you in town for?
1328
01:02:02,658 --> 01:02:04,361
[pop song playing]
1329
01:02:12,502 --> 01:02:14,205
[Elliot] When does
this awful game end?
1330
01:02:16,606 --> 01:02:17,941
[all cheering]
1331
01:02:19,743 --> 01:02:21,078
[Joey] We won!
1332
01:02:21,410 --> 01:02:22,613
You wanna be a frat star?
1333
01:02:24,147 --> 01:02:27,418
Go outside and do the
elephant walk with Jeffrey.
1334
01:02:28,251 --> 01:02:30,484
- Right now!
- [Elliot] What is the elephant walk?
1335
01:02:30,486 --> 01:02:32,689
[imitates elephant trumpeting]
1336
01:02:33,256 --> 01:02:36,424
Okay, so, are you gonna grab
my tail with your trunk,
1337
01:02:36,426 --> 01:02:38,029
or am I grabbing your tail
with my trunk?
1338
01:02:38,627 --> 01:02:40,397
Uh... You don't have a tail.
1339
01:02:40,664 --> 01:02:42,432
Come on, just grab my cock.
1340
01:02:44,700 --> 01:02:46,102
Come on, man!
1341
01:02:50,173 --> 01:02:50,607
I, uh...
1342
01:02:56,713 --> 01:02:59,550
I'm sorry, bro. I promise you, I'm a true
frat star, but I can't do this shit.
1343
01:03:00,584 --> 01:03:02,549
Whoa! Yes!
1344
01:03:02,551 --> 01:03:04,387
Come on, don't be gay, man!
1345
01:03:05,589 --> 01:03:07,591
- Yes!
- Yeah!
1346
01:03:08,392 --> 01:03:10,227
- Oh.
- Hi, Amy.
1347
01:03:10,727 --> 01:03:12,463
Skeazy Steve.
1348
01:03:12,662 --> 01:03:15,098
Is that your new
naughty name for me?
1349
01:03:15,365 --> 01:03:16,700
[chuckles]
1350
01:03:17,533 --> 01:03:19,002
- [sniffs]
- [exhales]
1351
01:03:20,169 --> 01:03:22,706
Hey, let me know if you wanna...
1352
01:03:24,140 --> 01:03:25,642
dance later.
1353
01:03:26,676 --> 01:03:27,611
Yeah, I'll be sure
to do that.
1354
01:03:29,245 --> 01:03:32,349
You know I'm talking about
fellatio when I say "dance."
1355
01:03:32,649 --> 01:03:34,281
- [Amy groans]
- [laughs]
1356
01:03:34,283 --> 01:03:35,486
[mock laughter]
1357
01:03:37,821 --> 01:03:40,324
- I can't believe you...
- Shut up, Shu!
1358
01:03:41,091 --> 01:03:43,461
Hello.
Have you seen Skylar anywhere?
1359
01:03:43,827 --> 01:03:45,162
Yeah, I think she's inside.
1360
01:03:45,562 --> 01:03:46,761
- Okay.
- Great.
1361
01:03:46,763 --> 01:03:47,598
Try to find her.
1362
01:03:50,600 --> 01:03:51,669
- There he is!
- [blow lands]
1363
01:03:52,169 --> 01:03:54,401
[groans]
Why would you do that?
1364
01:03:54,403 --> 01:03:57,205
Because it's fratty, baby,
'cause it's fratty.
1365
01:03:57,207 --> 01:03:59,377
No, you are my new special
friend, Brit, you know that?
1366
01:03:59,709 --> 01:04:01,609
- Really?
- No, man, you gotta come stay at KOK
1367
01:04:01,611 --> 01:04:04,412
because fucking Alpha Sigma
Sigma is fucking everything up.
1368
01:04:04,414 --> 01:04:05,412
I'm gonna put
the cat in the car.
1369
01:04:05,414 --> 01:04:06,649
Don't leave me with him.
1370
01:04:07,617 --> 01:04:09,216
Tonight's gonna be
a special night, Brit.
1371
01:04:09,218 --> 01:04:10,253
- Really?
- Yup.
1372
01:04:10,754 --> 01:04:12,056
[whispers]
I'm getting a blumpkin.
1373
01:04:12,321 --> 01:04:14,024
- A what?
- Blumpkin.
1374
01:04:14,723 --> 01:04:15,658
What's that?
1375
01:04:16,626 --> 01:04:18,763
- It's a blowjob from a chick.
- Oh, great. Good.
1376
01:04:19,196 --> 01:04:20,398
While I'm dropping a dook.
1377
01:04:21,865 --> 01:04:23,098
[groans]
1378
01:04:23,100 --> 01:04:25,403
- What?
- It's fucking legendary, man.
1379
01:04:25,836 --> 01:04:28,671
No one, in the history of the
frat, has ever achieved it.
1380
01:04:29,238 --> 01:04:30,807
- Really? Very surprising.
- No, no...
1381
01:04:32,776 --> 01:04:34,111
I want you to get one with me.
1382
01:04:35,211 --> 01:04:38,048
Oh, uh, thanks for the offer,
but I'm gonna pass.
1383
01:04:39,850 --> 01:04:42,250
You'll go down in history, man.
1384
01:04:42,252 --> 01:04:44,422
Yeah, not really what I
want to be remembered for.
1385
01:04:47,289 --> 01:04:49,459
I'm sorry, Mr. President,
I tried to do the elephant walk.
1386
01:04:50,861 --> 01:04:53,261
- I can't do that shit.
- Fucking loser!
1387
01:04:53,263 --> 01:04:55,299
Okay, the only way
I'll forgive you,
1388
01:04:55,631 --> 01:04:57,198
and the only way you'll be seen
as a frat star,
1389
01:04:57,200 --> 01:04:59,703
is if you get your bitch brother
to bang that cat.
1390
01:05:04,740 --> 01:05:06,707
- That's fucking funny?
- No.
1391
01:05:06,709 --> 01:05:08,178
That's the most pussy
he'll ever get.
1392
01:05:11,347 --> 01:05:12,749
- All right, yeah. I'll make him do it.
- Fucking right!
1393
01:05:13,582 --> 01:05:15,549
Oh, my God,
it's gonna be fucking awesome.
1394
01:05:15,551 --> 01:05:17,352
- Motherfucking cat!
- [glass shatters]
1395
01:05:17,354 --> 01:05:17,855
[Eric] Whoo!
1396
01:05:20,423 --> 01:05:21,625
What are you doing?
1397
01:05:21,925 --> 01:05:23,193
I gotta make him do it.
1398
01:05:24,194 --> 01:05:25,763
I gotta have Eric Stahl
look at me as cool.
1399
01:05:26,763 --> 01:05:27,832
Whatever...
Whatever it takes.
1400
01:05:29,098 --> 01:05:32,399
Eric Stahl is a fucking lunatic.
All right, what does it matter?
1401
01:05:32,401 --> 01:05:34,604
Because I wanna be seen
as a frat legend again, okay?
1402
01:05:35,738 --> 01:05:38,238
You know, you may not believe this,
but my life kind of sucks right now.
1403
01:05:38,240 --> 01:05:39,609
This is all Young Joseph's got.
1404
01:05:50,287 --> 01:05:51,622
[slow pop on speakers]
1405
01:05:54,857 --> 01:05:57,292
[inhales, exhales]
1406
01:05:57,294 --> 01:05:58,395
Excuse me, mister.
1407
01:05:59,461 --> 01:06:01,764
I ordered a stud muffin,
and I think you might be it.
1408
01:06:05,368 --> 01:06:07,872
I know this great burrito place
around the corner.
1409
01:06:09,805 --> 01:06:11,374
What do you say
we blow this popsicle stand?
1410
01:06:14,711 --> 01:06:15,745
You had me at "burrito."
1411
01:06:18,481 --> 01:06:19,747
[electronic music
on speakers]
1412
01:06:19,749 --> 01:06:21,651
[Eric] Hey guys, how goes
the party stuff in here?
1413
01:06:22,318 --> 01:06:24,854
Oh, man,
I'm fired up some, baby.
1414
01:06:25,854 --> 01:06:26,623
What's up?
1415
01:06:32,963 --> 01:06:34,962
Should you maybe be
a bit more subtle?
1416
01:06:34,964 --> 01:06:36,767
Nah, no way, man.
You're in my house tonight.
1417
01:06:37,566 --> 01:06:39,836
My rules. My rules.
1418
01:06:53,249 --> 01:06:54,584
Are you following me
on Instagram?
1419
01:06:54,917 --> 01:06:56,486
Seen all the badass things
I've been doing?
1420
01:06:57,486 --> 01:06:59,722
- No.
- Did I tell you I drive a BMW now?
1421
01:06:59,990 --> 01:07:00,723
Don't care.
1422
01:07:01,658 --> 01:07:02,760
You rip that, Brit.
1423
01:07:03,627 --> 01:07:04,628
No, thank you.
1424
01:07:04,827 --> 01:07:05,929
Rip it good.
1425
01:07:06,363 --> 01:07:08,531
...vanity plates that say,
"Schlong."
1426
01:07:09,899 --> 01:07:12,970
The "S" is a 5,
but... still dope.
1427
01:07:14,403 --> 01:07:16,606
Rip it, Brit. Rip that shit!
1428
01:07:19,309 --> 01:07:19,810
[spits]
1429
01:07:23,479 --> 01:07:24,747
- Rip it!
- Fuck it.
1430
01:07:27,617 --> 01:07:28,519
God!
1431
01:07:29,818 --> 01:07:31,454
Mmm! Yes!
1432
01:07:31,787 --> 01:07:34,257
Oh, man, you are a maniac!
1433
01:07:34,790 --> 01:07:37,827
No, man, I didn't even know they
had fucking maniacs in the UK.
1434
01:07:42,665 --> 01:07:44,299
- Yes.
- Oh!
1435
01:07:44,301 --> 01:07:44,999
Baby!
1436
01:07:45,001 --> 01:07:47,067
That is some potent shit.
1437
01:07:47,069 --> 01:07:49,837
That is good. That is good.
I'm going to have another one.
1438
01:07:49,839 --> 01:07:51,406
- Oh, man!
- Round two.
1439
01:07:51,408 --> 01:07:52,674
Mm-hmm.
1440
01:07:52,676 --> 01:07:54,408
I am a generous god, yes.
1441
01:07:54,410 --> 01:07:55,578
[snorting]
1442
01:07:56,078 --> 01:07:59,479
Oh! Snagging it all
like a maniac.
1443
01:07:59,481 --> 01:08:01,381
Oh, man, I have to go poop.
1444
01:08:01,383 --> 01:08:02,719
- It's go time.
- [exhales sharply]
1445
01:08:03,653 --> 01:08:05,022
- Poop time!
- [exhales sharply]
1446
01:08:05,722 --> 01:08:08,691
Hello. Hello. Hello, you.
1447
01:08:10,560 --> 01:08:11,828
[snorting]
1448
01:08:12,062 --> 01:08:13,931
Hello. Hello.
1449
01:08:14,897 --> 01:08:16,667
Hey. How's it going?
1450
01:08:18,635 --> 01:08:20,801
So, I mean, they just, like, you know,
they say just be a dick to her.
1451
01:08:20,803 --> 01:08:22,336
I don't want to be a dick.
1452
01:08:22,338 --> 01:08:23,138
Because I feel like
I'm a nice guy.
1453
01:08:23,140 --> 01:08:24,671
But she's with
that handsome guy.
1454
01:08:24,673 --> 01:08:25,908
She's treating me
like a dick, you know?
1455
01:08:26,409 --> 01:08:27,911
I'm gonna...
I'm just gonna try to be a dick.
1456
01:08:28,511 --> 01:08:29,312
I need to poop.
1457
01:08:30,613 --> 01:08:31,882
It's so weird
how this drug does that, right?
1458
01:08:32,681 --> 01:08:33,883
You're just, like, sniff,
and you're like...
1459
01:08:35,985 --> 01:08:37,288
Hey, there you are.
1460
01:08:38,387 --> 01:08:40,423
What's up, Skylar?
1461
01:08:40,757 --> 01:08:42,059
Nothing. What's up with you?
1462
01:08:42,624 --> 01:08:45,492
Just doing drugs and shit.
1463
01:08:45,494 --> 01:08:47,330
Gonna hit on some babes.
[sniffs]
1464
01:08:47,696 --> 01:08:49,496
- [burps]
- Ew.
1465
01:08:49,498 --> 01:08:50,934
All right,
I'm gonna go get a drink.
1466
01:08:51,568 --> 01:08:52,369
Okay.
1467
01:08:54,070 --> 01:08:55,539
And score me a lighter.
1468
01:08:57,940 --> 01:08:58,641
Oh, no.
1469
01:09:00,008 --> 01:09:01,477
Have you seen
a toilet round here?
1470
01:09:04,614 --> 01:09:06,784
Ooh. Don't mind if I do.
1471
01:09:08,885 --> 01:09:10,017
Ooh.
1472
01:09:10,019 --> 01:09:11,321
It's nice. Quite calming.
1473
01:09:12,323 --> 01:09:13,356
Everyone's so generous
with their narcotics.
1474
01:09:14,857 --> 01:09:15,859
You seen the toilet?
1475
01:09:16,092 --> 01:09:17,795
Brilliant. Thank you.
1476
01:09:19,428 --> 01:09:20,963
Hello. Hello. Toilet?
1477
01:09:21,431 --> 01:09:22,399
This way?
1478
01:09:23,967 --> 01:09:25,633
Oh, baby! There you are!
1479
01:09:25,635 --> 01:09:27,033
Jesus, that's rank!
1480
01:09:27,035 --> 01:09:28,635
Come on, man, it's not too late
to come join us.
1481
01:09:28,637 --> 01:09:30,170
- [farts]
- Oh, fuck.
1482
01:09:30,172 --> 01:09:32,809
Mmm! It's happening.
Fuck, yes!
1483
01:09:34,043 --> 01:09:36,109
Excuse me, do you know if there's
another toilet around here?
1484
01:09:36,111 --> 01:09:38,681
Shut the fuck up,
you're Australian?
1485
01:09:38,882 --> 01:09:40,581
- Uh, British.
- Shut up.
1486
01:09:40,583 --> 01:09:44,117
I'm... [stammers]
I'm Mimi.
1487
01:09:44,119 --> 01:09:45,853
[laughs, gulps]
1488
01:09:45,855 --> 01:09:46,690
- [gurgles]
- Oh, God.
1489
01:09:46,955 --> 01:09:48,592
- [burps, laughs]
- [blows]
1490
01:09:49,993 --> 01:09:53,030
- Elliot.
- O-M-G, you're so hot.
1491
01:09:53,762 --> 01:09:57,165
I'm gonna speak in a British
accent from now on.
1492
01:09:57,167 --> 01:10:00,134
- No, no, there's no need.
- [mock English accent] Would you like a spot of tea?
1493
01:10:00,136 --> 01:10:02,039
Please, nurky, have some more.
1494
01:10:04,039 --> 01:10:05,273
[coughing]
What is in that?
1495
01:10:05,275 --> 01:10:08,045
[American accent] So, Sir Elliot,
have you ever done Molly?
1496
01:10:09,044 --> 01:10:13,180
- Uh, no.
- Don't lie, liar, liar, trousers on fire.
1497
01:10:13,182 --> 01:10:14,816
You just did.
1498
01:10:14,818 --> 01:10:18,021
What? No. Why'd you give me Molly?
I don't want that.
1499
01:10:18,855 --> 01:10:20,520
Did we just have
a Molly moment?
1500
01:10:20,522 --> 01:10:22,023
I don't know what we had.
I don't know what's happening.
1501
01:10:22,025 --> 01:10:23,527
You want a light show?
1502
01:10:23,959 --> 01:10:26,693
Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
[babbling]
1503
01:10:26,695 --> 01:10:28,865
Whoo-whoo! [babbling]
1504
01:10:29,966 --> 01:10:31,999
Fuck.
I think I'm hyperventilating.
1505
01:10:32,001 --> 01:10:34,872
Oh, yeah, massage train, yeah!
1506
01:10:35,171 --> 01:10:37,572
Oh, there you go,
right... Oh, yeah!
1507
01:10:37,574 --> 01:10:40,110
- Suddenly I'm feeling awful.
- Do you have a phone?
1508
01:10:40,577 --> 01:10:42,643
Get your phone.
Get your phone out.
1509
01:10:42,645 --> 01:10:43,710
I can't feel my new phone.
1510
01:10:43,712 --> 01:10:44,845
- I think I lost it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1511
01:10:44,847 --> 01:10:47,081
- My heart...
- Insta-moment, Molly-faces!
1512
01:10:47,083 --> 01:10:48,652
In the camera there.
There we go.
1513
01:10:49,752 --> 01:10:52,022
[shutter clicking]
1514
01:10:52,922 --> 01:10:54,491
Stop. Stop!
1515
01:10:55,658 --> 01:10:56,924
- Stop.
- You rolling?
1516
01:10:56,926 --> 01:10:58,128
No, I'm hyperventilating.
1517
01:10:59,229 --> 01:11:00,862
- I don't know what's happening.
- Let's shag.
1518
01:11:00,864 --> 01:11:02,229
- No.
- Come on.
1519
01:11:02,231 --> 01:11:03,965
- No, please. Please.
- Come on. You know.
1520
01:11:03,967 --> 01:11:05,099
- I need a doctor.
- I'm a doctor.
1521
01:11:05,101 --> 01:11:06,533
- You pissed my bed.
- No, I didn't!
1522
01:11:06,535 --> 01:11:07,602
- Yes, you did.
- What the...
1523
01:11:07,604 --> 01:11:08,803
Yes.
1524
01:11:08,805 --> 01:11:10,804
You lost my
fucking skateboard, too.
1525
01:11:10,806 --> 01:11:12,141
[Elliot]
I don't even know who you are.
1526
01:11:13,676 --> 01:11:14,742
- You mother...
- What?
1527
01:11:14,744 --> 01:11:15,879
He's mine.
1528
01:11:16,779 --> 01:11:18,712
- You!
- I just needed the toilet.
1529
01:11:18,714 --> 01:11:20,747
- [Mimi] Just pee your pants.
- [man] I got your dick in my face!
1530
01:11:20,749 --> 01:11:23,283
- Okay, enough fun.
- You gotta go to school.
1531
01:11:23,285 --> 01:11:24,751
You try to get on the bus.
1532
01:11:24,753 --> 01:11:26,022
The sex bus!
1533
01:11:26,588 --> 01:11:28,889
Yes, you go to school.
You go to my school.
1534
01:11:28,891 --> 01:11:29,857
Give me your arm, bitch.
1535
01:11:29,859 --> 01:11:31,157
How are you so strong?
1536
01:11:31,159 --> 01:11:33,193
I take kickboxing.
It's my hobby.
1537
01:11:33,195 --> 01:11:34,564
You know, that, and knitting.
1538
01:11:35,030 --> 01:11:37,130
Knitting blankets
to have sex on!
1539
01:11:37,132 --> 01:11:38,965
- Oh, you shut up, you baby.
- [yelping]
1540
01:11:38,967 --> 01:11:40,768
Shut up! Shut up!
1541
01:11:40,770 --> 01:11:41,969
Oh, here, look at the butterfly.
Yeah, look at the butterfly.
1542
01:11:41,971 --> 01:11:43,904
Now, look at the butterfly.
Now, look at the butterfly.
1543
01:11:43,906 --> 01:11:45,639
Now, look at the butterfly.
Now, look at the butterfly.
1544
01:11:45,641 --> 01:11:46,807
- Now, look at the butterfly.
- Okay.
1545
01:11:46,809 --> 01:11:47,778
Look at the butterfly.
1546
01:11:48,043 --> 01:11:49,812
Ooh, look at the butterfly.
Ooh!
1547
01:11:50,747 --> 01:11:52,679
- I think I'm having a panic attack.
- Oh, good, that'll help.
1548
01:11:52,681 --> 01:11:54,083
[dance music, muffled]
1549
01:12:04,226 --> 01:12:05,895
I'm gonna turn you
into a man tonight.
1550
01:12:07,564 --> 01:12:08,865
[groans]
1551
01:12:19,042 --> 01:12:20,677
Prepare to enter my forest.
1552
01:12:24,948 --> 01:12:25,915
I love you.
1553
01:12:26,850 --> 01:12:28,148
Look at the butterfly.
Look at the butterfly.
1554
01:12:28,150 --> 01:12:29,951
[vocalizing]
1555
01:12:29,953 --> 01:12:30,954
- Oh, yeah, boy!
- [yelps]
1556
01:12:31,954 --> 01:12:33,689
- Oh, my God, who is that?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey!
1557
01:12:34,156 --> 01:12:37,127
- [Elliot] Whoa.
- Well, what do we have here?
1558
01:12:40,663 --> 01:12:43,567
Here, buddy, hey.
My name's Jeffrey, with a J.
1559
01:12:44,734 --> 01:12:46,870
Nice to meet you, I'm Elliot.
Please untie me.
1560
01:12:47,235 --> 01:12:48,939
Can you help? Help.
1561
01:12:49,638 --> 01:12:50,574
Help.
1562
01:12:51,408 --> 01:12:52,575
Let's turn this into
a little threeway.
1563
01:12:52,976 --> 01:12:54,841
- No. No, no, no.
- Oh, yeah.
1564
01:12:54,843 --> 01:12:55,742
- Yes!
- No way!
1565
01:12:55,744 --> 01:12:57,111
You're only young once, right?
1566
01:12:57,113 --> 01:12:58,946
- I'm not even that young.
- Okay, look.
1567
01:12:58,948 --> 01:13:00,950
- Untie me, please.
- Look at this mouth.
1568
01:13:01,316 --> 01:13:03,651
- Look at... what? No.
- [Mimi] Oh, yeah.
1569
01:13:03,653 --> 01:13:05,051
- No.
- [Jeffrey] Like a vagina.
1570
01:13:05,053 --> 01:13:06,056
- No, it's not.
- [Mimi] Oh, yeah.
1571
01:13:07,155 --> 01:13:08,355
[muffled]
1572
01:13:08,357 --> 01:13:11,658
Oh, your accent's
so fucking hot.
1573
01:13:11,660 --> 01:13:13,797
- Oh, keep talking how you do, baby.
- I don't...
1574
01:13:15,797 --> 01:13:16,930
- Help!
- You know,
1575
01:13:16,932 --> 01:13:18,601
my grandparents
are from Barcelona.
1576
01:13:19,267 --> 01:13:20,971
Barcelona, England?
1577
01:13:21,236 --> 01:13:22,638
[mock English accent]
Too right.
1578
01:13:22,971 --> 01:13:24,840
- That's not in England.
- Shut the fuck up.
1579
01:13:25,675 --> 01:13:26,243
Oh!
1580
01:13:29,645 --> 01:13:30,780
You little minx.
1581
01:13:32,181 --> 01:13:33,813
[dance music playing
on speakers]
1582
01:13:33,815 --> 01:13:35,651
[Joey]
Come on, look. Here she is.
1583
01:13:36,052 --> 01:13:38,685
Look, take her upstairs to a private
room and put on some music...
1584
01:13:38,687 --> 01:13:41,091
Dude, I can't believe you got her out
of the car. You're sick in the head.
1585
01:13:42,691 --> 01:13:44,026
I'm gonna go find Elliot.
1586
01:13:44,927 --> 01:13:46,630
- Come on, Sky. Help me out.
- No.
1587
01:13:47,963 --> 01:13:48,931
- Oh.
- [slurping]
1588
01:13:49,798 --> 01:13:51,935
W... We're just dancing,
that's all.
1589
01:13:52,834 --> 01:13:54,669
Hey, feel free to join us.
1590
01:13:54,671 --> 01:13:57,106
I can easily dance
the tongue-go with two.
1591
01:13:59,107 --> 01:14:00,877
Please don't tell anyone, Sky.
1592
01:14:01,778 --> 01:14:04,347
My self-esteem's
been kind of low recently.
1593
01:14:05,114 --> 01:14:07,050
Skeazy Steve.
1594
01:14:07,749 --> 01:14:09,849
- [door closes]
- Get back to work.
1595
01:14:09,851 --> 01:14:11,085
- [imitates motor] Hi.
- [grunts]
1596
01:14:11,087 --> 01:14:12,321
- [Elliot screaming]
- [blowing raspberries]
1597
01:14:13,989 --> 01:14:15,725
[screaming continues]
Help!
1598
01:14:19,328 --> 01:14:21,094
Help!
[screams]
1599
01:14:21,096 --> 01:14:23,165
What the fuck is going on?
1600
01:14:25,034 --> 01:14:26,103
No! No!
1601
01:14:30,172 --> 01:14:31,807
I feel like
I'm being waterboarded.
1602
01:14:32,742 --> 01:14:33,209
Stop!
1603
01:14:35,744 --> 01:14:37,243
Okay. Okay. Okay.
1604
01:14:37,245 --> 01:14:38,949
- [Elliot] Oh! No!
- [man] Oh, here we go.
1605
01:14:39,147 --> 01:14:39,882
What the...
1606
01:14:40,550 --> 01:14:43,285
Oh, isn't his accent so cute?
1607
01:14:44,820 --> 01:14:46,120
I just wanted to see
if you were okay.
1608
01:14:46,122 --> 01:14:47,854
I did not want this to happen.
1609
01:14:47,856 --> 01:14:49,055
[Mimi]
Ew, you're already taken?
1610
01:14:49,057 --> 01:14:50,224
No, wait! Skylar, wait!
1611
01:14:50,226 --> 01:14:51,662
- Please!
- Get out!
1612
01:14:52,796 --> 01:14:55,062
- Get out! Get out, you piece of shit!
- [Elliot] Get off!
1613
01:14:55,064 --> 01:14:56,732
Get off me. Horrible man.
1614
01:14:58,333 --> 01:15:00,336
Skylar. Skylar, wait!
1615
01:15:00,869 --> 01:15:02,402
- Wait, I didn't... Wait!
- [Jeffrey] Go get her, bro!
1616
01:15:02,404 --> 01:15:04,173
[dance music on speakers]
1617
01:15:11,180 --> 01:15:13,013
Wait, Skylar. Please wait.
1618
01:15:13,015 --> 01:15:14,948
- What?
- Well...
1619
01:15:14,950 --> 01:15:16,386
You know what, Elliot? I just
thought you were different.
1620
01:15:17,119 --> 01:15:19,085
You looked at me like you cared,
1621
01:15:19,087 --> 01:15:21,190
you opened doors for me, you
even listened to me when I talk.
1622
01:15:22,324 --> 01:15:24,093
But really, you're just
like every other guy.
1623
01:15:25,994 --> 01:15:27,698
I didn't realize you
even noticed that stuff.
1624
01:15:27,930 --> 01:15:29,199
Just have fun, Elliot.
1625
01:15:30,432 --> 01:15:32,002
It's not fair of me to get annoyed at you.
It's my own issue.
1626
01:15:32,467 --> 01:15:33,936
Okay? Forget it.
1627
01:15:37,205 --> 01:15:38,240
- Wait, but...
- [snaps fingers] Uh-uh.
1628
01:15:39,275 --> 01:15:40,143
Skylar!
1629
01:15:41,843 --> 01:15:43,477
Yo, El,
tell him to bang the cat.
1630
01:15:43,479 --> 01:15:45,347
Dude, if it's so important,
you fuck the cat.
1631
01:15:46,315 --> 01:15:47,050
What?
1632
01:15:47,917 --> 01:15:49,953
Okay, I can't take
this shit anymore.
1633
01:15:50,218 --> 01:15:51,320
Whoa, what's up with you?
1634
01:15:51,553 --> 01:15:53,821
I don't know! Uh...
1635
01:15:53,823 --> 01:15:56,924
Maybe it could be the bisexual threeway
assault that just happened to me
1636
01:15:56,926 --> 01:15:58,294
with the mouth-fingering.
1637
01:15:59,628 --> 01:16:01,795
Or maybe it's the shot of a
fucking goldfish I had to drink.
1638
01:16:01,797 --> 01:16:03,466
- Chill out, dude.
- Don't tell me to chill out.
1639
01:16:04,132 --> 01:16:05,001
And why don't you grow up?
1640
01:16:06,302 --> 01:16:08,238
You're 26
and you still act like a kid.
1641
01:16:09,337 --> 01:16:10,473
Anyway, I don't care.
1642
01:16:11,073 --> 01:16:13,974
Just bang the cat already, mate.
I'm over it.
1643
01:16:13,976 --> 01:16:16,977
Yeah, just bang your
fucking cat, you bitch.
1644
01:16:16,979 --> 01:16:18,414
[groans]
Oh! Oh!
1645
01:16:19,015 --> 01:16:21,148
Bang the fucking cat,
you motherfucker!
1646
01:16:21,150 --> 01:16:22,886
Don't you fucking touch him!
1647
01:16:23,351 --> 01:16:25,585
Oh, hold... That's cool.
That's cool. That's cool.
1648
01:16:25,587 --> 01:16:27,188
- [shouts, laughs]
- [groans]
1649
01:16:27,190 --> 01:16:28,421
And down he goes.
1650
01:16:28,423 --> 01:16:30,424
For the one
and a two and a three!
1651
01:16:30,426 --> 01:16:32,526
Baby, you see that shit?
1652
01:16:32,528 --> 01:16:34,594
Oh! Oh! Oh! Ohh!
1653
01:16:34,596 --> 01:16:36,132
Hey, you get off my brother.
1654
01:16:37,165 --> 01:16:39,034
Motherfucker! What?
1655
01:16:40,302 --> 01:16:42,036
I'm sorry.
There's no need for violence.
1656
01:16:42,038 --> 01:16:43,903
[all shouting]
1657
01:16:43,905 --> 01:16:45,274
[shouting, cheering]
1658
01:16:45,975 --> 01:16:46,510
[Eric] Bitch!
1659
01:16:47,209 --> 01:16:48,043
You bitch!
1660
01:16:49,110 --> 01:16:50,546
Son of a bitch!
1661
01:16:52,448 --> 01:16:53,283
[man] Hey!
1662
01:16:55,016 --> 01:16:56,218
Get off me!
1663
01:16:58,186 --> 01:17:00,189
- [Elliot] Sorry!
- [Eric] Hey, it's a sperm whale.
1664
01:17:00,455 --> 01:17:01,423
- [yelps]
- [all jeering]
1665
01:17:02,624 --> 01:17:04,261
- What, bitch?
- Fuck that!
1666
01:17:05,461 --> 01:17:06,594
- Fuck! Oh, God.
- [man] Yeah!
1667
01:17:06,596 --> 01:17:08,031
[Eric]
Motherfucker!
1668
01:17:08,431 --> 01:17:09,630
- You all right?
- Yeah.
1669
01:17:09,632 --> 01:17:11,564
I think you broke my nose,
you fuck!
1670
01:17:11,566 --> 01:17:12,569
- Am I bleeding?
- [man] You all right, dude?
1671
01:17:15,171 --> 01:17:16,173
Little bitch!
1672
01:17:16,538 --> 01:17:17,573
Fucking pussy bitch.
1673
01:17:18,473 --> 01:17:19,874
[Joey shouts]
1674
01:17:19,876 --> 01:17:23,577
[dance music playing]
1675
01:17:23,579 --> 01:17:26,045
Let's go fuck shit up!
1676
01:17:26,047 --> 01:17:28,417
[all cheering]
1677
01:17:33,288 --> 01:17:35,054
Oh, my God, my balls!
1678
01:17:35,056 --> 01:17:36,892
[music fades]
1679
01:17:47,970 --> 01:17:49,202
[giggles]
1680
01:17:49,204 --> 01:17:50,339
- Hey!
- [yelps]
1681
01:17:51,007 --> 01:17:53,506
'Cause he's a fucking
frat star, bro!
1682
01:17:53,508 --> 01:17:55,444
You are an animal, bro!
Animal!
1683
01:17:56,345 --> 01:17:57,379
[Elliot]
Congratulations.
1684
01:17:59,181 --> 01:18:01,948
Um. Go get me some brewskis
for me and my brothers.
1685
01:18:01,950 --> 01:18:02,551
Yes, sir.
1686
01:18:03,452 --> 01:18:04,921
[groans, coughs]
1687
01:18:07,056 --> 01:18:08,357
Hey, we got a wedding to get to.
1688
01:18:13,061 --> 01:18:17,197
Ellie, darling.
I love your shirt.
1689
01:18:17,199 --> 01:18:19,532
My little P-I-M-P.
1690
01:18:19,534 --> 01:18:20,568
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Hey, Seany, how are you?
1691
01:18:20,570 --> 01:18:22,973
- Guys, this is my mom.
- [Michaelson] Hey, hey.
1692
01:18:23,338 --> 01:18:25,639
- Hey, Jo-jo, I like the tattoo.
- Thanks, Dad.
1693
01:18:25,641 --> 01:18:28,075
You must be Refrigerator.
1694
01:18:28,077 --> 01:18:29,111
Yes, milady.
1695
01:18:29,611 --> 01:18:30,881
Is that Princess?
1696
01:18:31,146 --> 01:18:33,617
Oh, hey! I've been looking
for Princess!
1697
01:18:34,650 --> 01:18:37,518
Why don't you take a look at the
new queen of the Davis household.
1698
01:18:37,520 --> 01:18:38,488
[meows]
1699
01:18:39,154 --> 01:18:40,923
- You are.
- Yeah.
1700
01:18:43,693 --> 01:18:45,494
[Elliot] That's going to take
some getting used to.
1701
01:18:46,028 --> 01:18:47,664
Oh, hey, El. Listen...
1702
01:18:48,596 --> 01:18:51,967
I taped the English
football game.
1703
01:18:52,534 --> 01:18:54,203
Maybe you and I could
look at it later.
1704
01:18:54,537 --> 01:18:56,338
Uh... I don't really like football.
Thanks.
1705
01:18:58,373 --> 01:18:59,208
[mutters]
1706
01:19:08,016 --> 01:19:08,984
God, you're hot.
1707
01:19:10,186 --> 01:19:13,386
It's pretty, it's just...
Are you sure about this, Mom?
1708
01:19:13,388 --> 01:19:15,589
I mean, the guy...
He's utterly crazy.
1709
01:19:15,591 --> 01:19:18,261
Oh, yes,
that's what I love about him.
1710
01:19:18,526 --> 01:19:19,760
Well, I'm crazy, too.
1711
01:19:19,762 --> 01:19:21,495
And he loves that about me.
1712
01:19:21,497 --> 01:19:24,967
I just want to love...
and be loved.
1713
01:19:26,369 --> 01:19:28,535
I love you.
Isn't that enough?
1714
01:19:28,537 --> 01:19:29,472
Darling...
1715
01:19:32,074 --> 01:19:33,109
I'm sorry about Skylar.
1716
01:19:35,711 --> 01:19:36,413
Me too.
1717
01:19:37,712 --> 01:19:39,013
Really liked her.
1718
01:19:39,015 --> 01:19:41,117
[inhales]
Really liked her.
1719
01:19:41,516 --> 01:19:44,586
- Well, you should tell her then.
- It doesn't work like that, Mom.
1720
01:19:45,553 --> 01:19:50,189
Girls like guys that are, like, cool
and have game. And that's just not me.
1721
01:19:50,191 --> 01:19:52,962
Oh, none of that is true.
1722
01:19:53,495 --> 01:19:55,528
People like people
who are nice to them
1723
01:19:55,530 --> 01:19:58,301
and who make them feel good
about themselves.
1724
01:19:58,633 --> 01:20:01,667
So, you just be honest
and tell her how you feel
1725
01:20:01,669 --> 01:20:04,039
and if she doesn't like it,
well then, she's rubbish
1726
01:20:04,406 --> 01:20:05,475
and doesn't deserve you.
1727
01:20:09,645 --> 01:20:11,580
- Thanks, Mom.
- You're welcome, darling.
1728
01:20:13,214 --> 01:20:14,484
[mother] Oh, here are the boys.
1729
01:20:15,150 --> 01:20:16,282
[Michaelson]
Yeah?
1730
01:20:16,284 --> 01:20:17,617
- Congratulations.
- How are you, pal?
1731
01:20:17,619 --> 01:20:19,286
- Yeah. Mom.
- Darling.
1732
01:20:19,288 --> 01:20:21,424
- Congratulations.
- Get in here. Get in here.
1733
01:20:21,656 --> 01:20:22,691
Baby boy.
1734
01:20:23,559 --> 01:20:24,758
- Hi.
- Mom.
1735
01:20:24,760 --> 01:20:25,759
- [Michaelson] Hey.
- Congratulations.
1736
01:20:25,761 --> 01:20:28,231
- [pop song playing]
- [man singing]
1737
01:20:29,464 --> 01:20:31,167
I owe you an apology, Joey,
1738
01:20:31,633 --> 01:20:32,534
for what I said.
1739
01:20:34,570 --> 01:20:37,804
I just... If you haven't noticed, I've
been a bit stressed recently, and...
1740
01:20:37,806 --> 01:20:41,774
it just seems like everyone else has
their life all sorted out and I don't.
1741
01:20:41,776 --> 01:20:42,544
You know?
1742
01:20:44,480 --> 01:20:46,712
Is that one of those
rhetorical questions?
1743
01:20:46,714 --> 01:20:49,416
No, no. We still need to talk about that,
'cause you don't understand that at all.
1744
01:20:49,418 --> 01:20:52,185
I feel you though. I think
we're, like, the same person.
1745
01:20:52,187 --> 01:20:55,290
Yeah. But I'm ready
to get my life together.
1746
01:20:56,191 --> 01:20:57,092
- Really?
- Yeah.
1747
01:20:58,293 --> 01:21:00,661
I mean, I'm officially a frat
legend now, after last night.
1748
01:21:00,663 --> 01:21:02,795
- You are. Congratulations again.
- Thank you.
1749
01:21:02,797 --> 01:21:03,599
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
1750
01:21:05,333 --> 01:21:05,801
Yeah. Come here.
1751
01:21:09,305 --> 01:21:12,438
- You're all right.
- Yes, you're all right, too. That was nice.
1752
01:21:12,440 --> 01:21:15,475
Hi, guys.
You both look very handsome.
1753
01:21:15,477 --> 01:21:17,478
Yo, Sky, you know where I could get
some fucking blow for this party?
1754
01:21:17,480 --> 01:21:19,115
- You're not doing coke at your dad's wedding.
- Fuck.
1755
01:21:20,449 --> 01:21:22,316
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.
1756
01:21:22,318 --> 01:21:23,649
Hey, so how was the drive back?
1757
01:21:23,651 --> 01:21:26,185
- [scoffs] Long.
- Yeah. Yeah...
1758
01:21:26,187 --> 01:21:28,757
It was all right. It was...
The car stinks of vomit.
1759
01:21:29,357 --> 01:21:31,358
- How was yours?
- It was long.
1760
01:21:31,360 --> 01:21:32,395
We were exhausted.
1761
01:21:33,428 --> 01:21:35,696
But look, I just really
wanted to say I'm sorry.
1762
01:21:35,698 --> 01:21:37,734
Oh, you don't need
to say anything, honestly.
1763
01:21:38,801 --> 01:21:41,434
We're gonna be really good friends,
which is better than anything, right?
1764
01:21:41,436 --> 01:21:43,536
Uh... Right.
1765
01:21:43,538 --> 01:21:45,671
Joey, your dad looks so happy.
1766
01:21:45,673 --> 01:21:46,575
Yeah.
1767
01:21:47,243 --> 01:21:48,278
[Elliot]
I don't...
1768
01:21:48,577 --> 01:21:50,713
- Okay, we need to talk.
- Okay.
1769
01:21:50,913 --> 01:21:53,550
Honestly, I think
you're kind of a bitch.
1770
01:21:53,815 --> 01:21:55,648
Oh, thank you.
Okay, well, likewise.
1771
01:21:55,650 --> 01:21:58,220
But the fact is,
she likes you.
1772
01:21:59,154 --> 01:22:00,389
So man the fuck up.
1773
01:22:01,190 --> 01:22:03,860
Yeah, stop being so Hugh Grant,
bumsy about it.
1774
01:22:04,293 --> 01:22:07,697
"Oh, sorry. Pardon me.
I need to use the loo."
1775
01:22:08,163 --> 01:22:11,400
I do not need to use the toilet,
thank you very much.
1776
01:22:11,766 --> 01:22:15,270
- "Spot of tea? Pip pip. Sorry."
- Okay, are you both done?
1777
01:22:15,704 --> 01:22:17,574
Go get her, Elliot.
1778
01:22:18,673 --> 01:22:20,443
- Go now.
- Okay, okay.
1779
01:22:20,909 --> 01:22:23,613
- Go get her, Elliot.
- Oh, my God, okay. Okay.
1780
01:22:24,613 --> 01:22:29,351
Ladies and dudes. Ladies and dudes.
Hang on a second. Hang on.
1781
01:22:29,752 --> 01:22:33,256
I just got a few things to say.
Yeah, just file in there.
1782
01:22:34,190 --> 01:22:34,723
Uh...
1783
01:22:35,690 --> 01:22:38,524
First of all, I just wanna say
that I'm in love
1784
01:22:38,526 --> 01:22:40,594
with this little English rose
right over here.
1785
01:22:40,596 --> 01:22:42,261
[chuckles]
1786
01:22:42,263 --> 01:22:43,732
You bet. She's my queen.
1787
01:22:44,499 --> 01:22:45,702
She's my Lady Di.
1788
01:22:46,235 --> 01:22:47,637
She's my Hermione Granger.
1789
01:22:48,971 --> 01:22:52,238
But only in HPot 5, 6, and 7. She's
too young in the early films.
1790
01:22:52,240 --> 01:22:54,310
Way too fucking young.
I'm not like that.
1791
01:22:54,510 --> 01:22:56,745
[yells, laughs]
1792
01:22:57,579 --> 01:22:59,181
But listen,
I just wanted to say...
1793
01:22:59,914 --> 01:23:02,918
that I am an artist
of the martial arts kind.
1794
01:23:04,787 --> 01:23:07,323
And I wanted to express
my love to you...
1795
01:23:08,457 --> 01:23:10,360
- in the form of karate.
- Oh.
1796
01:23:12,895 --> 01:23:14,931
[yells]
1797
01:23:22,570 --> 01:23:23,640
Want some, get some.
1798
01:23:24,672 --> 01:23:26,708
[shouting continues]
1799
01:23:33,748 --> 01:23:34,783
That's my fucking dad.
1800
01:23:35,618 --> 01:23:36,553
That's my dad.
1801
01:23:42,423 --> 01:23:44,726
- [shouting]
- [all muttering]
1802
01:23:46,595 --> 01:23:47,931
[all wince]
1803
01:23:48,396 --> 01:23:49,665
[shouts, chuckles]
1804
01:23:50,999 --> 01:23:51,967
How are we related?
1805
01:23:52,967 --> 01:23:53,635
How?
1806
01:23:57,573 --> 01:23:58,208
[woman]
Oh, my...
1807
01:24:01,944 --> 01:24:02,946
Oh, shit.
1808
01:24:03,512 --> 01:24:04,647
- [woman] All right.
- [all cheering]
1809
01:24:06,382 --> 01:24:07,317
Karate.
1810
01:24:08,417 --> 01:24:09,419
Karate.
1811
01:24:11,486 --> 01:24:12,254
Thank you.
1812
01:24:13,455 --> 01:24:15,824
Hey, Elliot. Why don't you come
up here and say a few words?
1813
01:24:19,628 --> 01:24:21,327
- Fabulous.
- Thanks.
1814
01:24:21,329 --> 01:24:24,833
Sorry, quite a tough act to
follow, but... I just...
1815
01:24:25,868 --> 01:24:27,503
I just really wanted to say...
1816
01:24:29,305 --> 01:24:31,374
Mom, I'm so happy for you.
1817
01:24:32,874 --> 01:24:34,441
I really am. You've...
1818
01:24:34,443 --> 01:24:38,010
You've found a...
a wonderful man in Michaelson.
1819
01:24:38,012 --> 01:24:40,949
And Sean... Joey...
1820
01:24:42,618 --> 01:24:45,555
If I'm honest, I really didn't
want to come and meet you.
1821
01:24:46,087 --> 01:24:49,990
Because I... I didn't really
understand how important family was.
1822
01:24:49,992 --> 01:24:51,457
He's talking about me.
I'm his little brother.
1823
01:24:51,459 --> 01:24:52,895
But after
what we've been through...
1824
01:24:54,329 --> 01:24:56,265
I realize it's the most
important thing in the world.
1825
01:24:57,999 --> 01:25:00,770
And Skylar, uh...
1826
01:25:04,640 --> 01:25:05,475
Hit it!
1827
01:25:05,774 --> 01:25:06,876
[band plays musical sting]
1828
01:25:07,609 --> 01:25:09,943
No, just play something...
Right, thank you.
1829
01:25:09,945 --> 01:25:11,781
[band: slow jazz]
1830
01:25:17,519 --> 01:25:20,522
[off-key] ♪ I don't want to
just Be friends with you ♪
1831
01:25:22,091 --> 01:25:25,794
♪ I'd really like to be
Your boyfriend too ♪
1832
01:25:27,495 --> 01:25:31,665
♪ I think about you
Every minute, every day ♪
1833
01:25:31,667 --> 01:25:33,099
Stop.
1834
01:25:33,101 --> 01:25:34,901
♪ It's been that way
Since we met on the... ♪
1835
01:25:34,903 --> 01:25:38,408
♪ 'Cause it was last week...
On Wednesday ♪
1836
01:25:38,640 --> 01:25:40,907
It's only through marriage. We're
not blood-related, you know.
1837
01:25:40,909 --> 01:25:45,411
♪ I know it looked like We were having
a drug-induced Bisexual threesome ♪
1838
01:25:45,413 --> 01:25:46,414
You don't have to sing it.
1839
01:25:47,583 --> 01:25:49,116
- I don't have to sing, you're right.
- [band stops]
1840
01:25:49,118 --> 01:25:52,051
I... I realized that
just after I'd started,
1841
01:25:52,053 --> 01:25:55,725
and then I just carried on, 'cause,
you know, "When in Bismarck..."
1842
01:25:55,990 --> 01:25:57,627
[scattered chuckles]
1843
01:25:58,860 --> 01:26:00,062
What I'm trying to say is...
1844
01:26:01,763 --> 01:26:03,833
I think you're the most
incredible girl I've ever met.
1845
01:26:05,868 --> 01:26:09,638
If you would just give me
one more chance to "man up,"
1846
01:26:10,105 --> 01:26:11,574
as they say,
1847
01:26:11,940 --> 01:26:15,011
and prove just how much
I like you...
1848
01:26:15,476 --> 01:26:17,814
- [all] Aww.
- [Michaelson] Yeah.
1849
01:26:22,517 --> 01:26:23,519
A little awkward.
1850
01:26:23,718 --> 01:26:24,820
Feels... It feels awkward.
1851
01:26:26,721 --> 01:26:27,889
[pop song playing]
1852
01:26:33,861 --> 01:26:35,895
- [all cheering]
- [woman] Go, girl!
1853
01:26:35,897 --> 01:26:36,865
- Pull it out.
- [woman] Keep going.
1854
01:26:37,165 --> 01:26:38,834
[people singing pop]
1855
01:26:40,668 --> 01:26:42,536
Boy, your plan worked.
1856
01:26:42,538 --> 01:26:43,969
Well, I knew the right girl was
out there for him somewhere.
1857
01:26:43,971 --> 01:26:46,141
- We just had to go and get her.
- Yes.
1858
01:26:48,543 --> 01:26:49,111
Kiss.
1859
01:26:50,111 --> 01:26:51,614
Right here. Yeah.
1860
01:26:52,815 --> 01:26:53,816
Fuck off.
1861
01:26:56,118 --> 01:26:56,953
Oh!
1862
01:26:59,788 --> 01:27:00,556
- No.
- [clears throat]
1863
01:27:01,856 --> 01:27:03,559
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
1864
01:27:09,096 --> 01:27:09,998
There you go.
1865
01:27:14,970 --> 01:27:16,038
That will never happen again.
1866
01:27:18,006 --> 01:27:18,841
In public.
1867
01:27:22,010 --> 01:27:23,812
[grunting]
1868
01:27:25,580 --> 01:27:26,114
Ew.
1869
01:27:27,815 --> 01:27:29,017
Well, that was ridiculous.
1870
01:27:29,485 --> 01:27:29,919
...ly good.
1871
01:27:35,757 --> 01:27:37,756
[chuckles]
1872
01:27:37,758 --> 01:27:39,658
That's a cool move!
1873
01:27:39,660 --> 01:27:41,029
[indistinct]
1874
01:27:44,565 --> 01:27:46,668
So, your mom said
you might be staying.
1875
01:27:47,769 --> 01:27:50,603
Well, you see, there's kind
of this girl I'm into.
1876
01:27:50,605 --> 01:27:51,804
Oh, yeah?
1877
01:27:51,806 --> 01:27:53,773
So, not so worried
about the future then?
1878
01:27:53,775 --> 01:27:55,845
Mmm.
Kind of enjoying the moment.
1879
01:27:58,046 --> 01:28:00,779
That's right. Hey, El!
1880
01:28:00,781 --> 01:28:03,250
Want you to meet my new neighbor.
He came by to say congrats.
1881
01:28:03,252 --> 01:28:05,585
Came by to say, "What's up!"
1882
01:28:05,587 --> 01:28:06,122
You!
1883
01:28:06,788 --> 01:28:09,492
You nasty freak motherfucker!
1884
01:28:10,758 --> 01:28:11,961
Oh, my God.
What are you doing?
1885
01:28:12,761 --> 01:28:13,663
Oh, my God.
1886
01:28:19,700 --> 01:28:22,234
- I am not a pedophile.
- What?
1887
01:28:22,236 --> 01:28:23,737
- [hip-hop song playing]
- [man rapping]
1888
01:28:23,739 --> 01:28:24,674
[man] Mark.
1889
01:28:25,106 --> 01:28:26,805
[sniffs]
Ugh. Did you just...
1890
01:28:26,807 --> 01:28:27,976
[laughs] Sorry.
1891
01:28:29,144 --> 01:28:30,609
[laughing]
1892
01:28:30,611 --> 01:28:31,980
[all laughing]
1893
01:28:32,314 --> 01:28:33,950
Ugh. Did you just queef?
1894
01:28:34,682 --> 01:28:36,249
[laughs, indistinct]
1895
01:28:36,251 --> 01:28:38,087
[crew laughing]
1896
01:28:40,122 --> 01:28:42,322
- Ew. What's on your finger?
- It's from that.
1897
01:28:42,324 --> 01:28:44,260
Ew. Ugh.
1898
01:28:45,193 --> 01:28:47,562
Meet us somewhere tomorrow
at noon.
1899
01:28:48,696 --> 01:28:49,962
I'm sorry.
1900
01:28:49,964 --> 01:28:52,068
I'm actually
slightly allergic.
1901
01:28:52,767 --> 01:28:55,568
- Holy shit! I am sorry!
- No.
1902
01:28:55,570 --> 01:28:57,239
- I'm so sorry!
- No. It's okay.
1903
01:28:58,673 --> 01:29:00,075
- Oh, come here. [yelps] Come here.
- [cat hisses]
1904
01:29:00,976 --> 01:29:02,675
[both laughing]
1905
01:29:02,677 --> 01:29:03,211
Damn thing.
1906
01:29:03,945 --> 01:29:05,547
Oh, fuck.
1907
01:29:05,980 --> 01:29:07,883
I'm scared as shit of cats.
1908
01:29:08,150 --> 01:29:09,752
I'm not touching
that thing again.
1909
01:29:10,017 --> 01:29:11,620
Scene 17, take one, alpha.
1910
01:29:12,354 --> 01:29:13,588
Bravo.
1911
01:29:14,589 --> 01:29:16,191
Oh, yeah? Why don't you
account for my balls?
1912
01:29:17,659 --> 01:29:18,861
[laughing]
1913
01:29:23,931 --> 01:29:25,066
Stupid.
1914
01:29:25,633 --> 01:29:26,269
You hear that?
1915
01:29:32,641 --> 01:29:34,707
[laughing]
1916
01:29:34,709 --> 01:29:38,377
[man on walkie-talkie] Key alpha, take one.
So, put an A beside the 20...
1917
01:29:38,379 --> 01:29:39,949
- Side down?
- So, we're doing this thing again?
1918
01:29:42,383 --> 01:29:44,854
- Twenty.
- Alpha, take one.
1919
01:29:45,220 --> 01:29:47,323
- Correct.
- And slates, tail slates.
1920
01:29:47,788 --> 01:29:48,990
- Side down.
- Side down.
1921
01:29:53,695 --> 01:29:54,564
Do you get it?
1922
01:30:01,369 --> 01:30:02,037
I'm sorry.
1923
01:30:10,345 --> 01:30:11,777
- I held...
- Are you fucking laughing?
1924
01:30:11,779 --> 01:30:13,145
- I held it...
- You fucking bitch.
1925
01:30:13,147 --> 01:30:14,848
I held it
most of the time.
1926
01:30:14,850 --> 01:30:16,052
You guys have
never done it before.
1927
01:30:17,084 --> 01:30:20,155
If you have...
it just comes flushing out.
1928
01:30:20,689 --> 01:30:21,321
[Shu groans]
1929
01:30:21,323 --> 01:30:23,659
- I'm a squirter.
- [Shu] Ew!
1930
01:30:25,293 --> 01:30:27,129
I'm... Sorry.
1931
01:30:28,396 --> 01:30:29,297
[man] That's really...
1932
01:30:29,730 --> 01:30:31,063
Great.
1933
01:30:31,065 --> 01:30:32,197
[crew laughing, applauding]
1934
01:30:32,199 --> 01:30:33,301
I'm sorry.
I couldn't help it.
1935
01:30:34,369 --> 01:30:36,036
- Drive, drive, drive!
- No, no. I'm so high.
1936
01:30:36,038 --> 01:30:37,039
I'm high as fuck, please.
1937
01:30:40,074 --> 01:30:40,943
- Go!
- [crew laughing]
1938
01:30:43,378 --> 01:30:44,814
[imitating electric bass]
1939
01:30:48,249 --> 01:30:49,448
- [laughing]
- Oh. Oh.
1940
01:30:49,450 --> 01:30:50,716
- Then we go.
- [man] Cut.
1941
01:30:50,718 --> 01:30:51,153
Hand on ass.
1942
01:30:51,986 --> 01:30:52,952
[man] Cutting!
1943
01:30:52,954 --> 01:30:54,824
You nasty motherfucker!
1944
01:31:00,162 --> 01:31:01,995
[man laughing]
1945
01:31:01,997 --> 01:31:05,868
Your heart feel like it explode.
1946
01:31:06,802 --> 01:31:08,401
Why am I doing Italian?
I don't know.
1947
01:31:08,403 --> 01:31:10,170
[crew laughing]
1948
01:31:10,172 --> 01:31:11,140
Rolling.
1949
01:31:13,141 --> 01:31:14,307
Did we get the first part?
1950
01:31:14,309 --> 01:31:16,276
- [man] The smells don't change.
- Oh, shit!
1951
01:31:16,278 --> 01:31:18,647
[song continues]
1952
01:31:42,937 --> 01:31:44,239
Oh, look at you.
1953
01:31:45,873 --> 01:31:47,443
You big poo.
1954
01:31:53,882 --> 01:31:56,252
- [laughing]
- [all laughing]
1955
01:31:57,785 --> 01:31:58,453
Sorry.
1956
01:31:58,533 --> 01:32:01,254
Subtitles by explosiveskull
1957
01:32:01,256 --> 01:32:03,825
[song ends]
142644
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