Original subtitles

Hey, what's up?

Not much. I see you're still at home.

Yeah, well, I live here. This is my house. I'm here a lot.

Uh-huh.

You are here a lot. How's that job hunt going?

It's going fine, thank you very much.

Cool. Anything you want to tell me?

Um, I don't know where my sister's at. She's not home, so I don't know where

we're going.

You can leave now, probably.

Uh, yeah, I know she's not home, but, um, do you want to tell me why you sent

me this?

Sent you? I didn't send you anything.

Yeah, you did.

Why would you send me this?

Oh, why do you have... It's, like, first of all, it's super inappropriate for you

to send me pictures unsolicited.

But second, why would you send me...

Some random guy's dick.

Okay, number one, that must have been an accident.

I meant to send it to somebody else, probably.

Okay. And, yeah, like, of course, you're my sister's best friend. I'm not going

to send you a dick pic when you think I'm the animal maniac or something.

Okay, cool.

Even if it wasn't meant for me, why are you sending girls dick pics of somebody

else's dick?

That's definitely not yours.

Yes, it is. This is my wiener. What are you talking about?

Okay. You're such a loser. Why would you lie about that?

I might be a loser, but I'm not lying about my... I'm not sending girls fake

dick pics. That's crazy.

Okay.

No. There's no way that you are sitting here on the couch every freaking day

annoying your sister, annoying me.

Literally not doing anything with your life, and you have a dick like that.

There's no way.

I don't... I mean, I do.

Okay. I mean, I don't see what having a nice wiener has to do with not getting a

job or whatever.

People with big dicks are usually pretty successful, and you're not.

So, I don't know.

That's just weird.

That's weird behavior.

Well, no one ever told me that. You're being such a liar.

I'm not being a liar. That's my real wiener.

Okay, so. I don't believe you.

Okay, you can believe whatever you want, I guess.

Show me.

What? Whip it out.

Prove it.

See?

All right, but you're not going to call the police on me or something, are you?

No, I'm gonna call the police and tell them that you're a liar sending other

people's dick pictures.

I don't know if it's... Okay, I'm gonna do it.

Do it.

Okay.

Fine.

Yo, okay.

It's... It's not hard right now. That's not you.

It's... It's... It's a grower, not a shower.

It's a grower.

Okay, grow it.

What? Your sister's on her own.

Grow it.

Right now?

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay. Prove it. I will.

Okay.

I don't think it can grow much more than that.

It can grow. It's going to grow. What are you talking about? Look, it's

totally... This is like a gummy worm right now.

Okay.

We'll give you exactly a minute.

How about that?

Okay, that's fine.

Okay.

And if it's not your dick, I'm totally telling your sister.

No, okay, well, there's no need. It is mine, so you don't have to tell her

anything.

Could you help me out a little bit?

Help you out?

No, I mean... No, I'm literally your sister's best friend, and it's so gross.

No, no, I mean, just, like... I don't know, like, you're staring at me like

that, like... I have my wiener on here, like, just maybe... Do you show me your

boobs or something?

It would just make it... It would just help.

Okay. Fine.

Oh, nice.

Can I touch them?

What? Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Touch them?

How about you show me if your dick is actually that big?

Okay.

Look, it's getting a little bigger.

It is getting a little bit bigger.

Okay,

fine. Maybe you can touch them.

It'll help speed up the process.

Almost there.

Not there yet.

See?

Look.

What did I tell you?

Okay, it is pretty...

Nice.

Yeah, exactly.

I wasn't lying.

Was that even an accident?

Or did you mean to send me that?

Um... Well, you... Like, I thought you just broke up with your boyfriend. I

figured, like, worth a shot, you know what I mean?

That's so inappropriate.

I'm literally your sister's best friend. You shouldn't be doing that.

Unsolicited? What did you think was going to happen?

I don't know. I just figured, you know.

You can suck her if you want.

No, I'm not going to suck your dick. I do want to touch her.

Okay.

It is as nice as the photo.

But I'm still, I'm not going to suck your dick.

Okay. Yeah, you know, I'm just saying if you wanted to.

Why would I want to? You're such a loser.

Literally. You're literally just sitting here on the couch.

What?

I'm just, like, saying, like, my sister's not going to know about it.

Like, you just want to, like,

blow off some steam or whatever.

Blow off some steam?

Oh, my God.

Okay.

Maybe I'll suck it.

But you have to promise not to tell her.

Yeah, I promise. I won't tell her. I don't want to.

You better fucking do it.

She found out I was fucking you.

I do believe that you're just sitting here doing literally nothing with your

life, and you have a gawk like this.

Well, I'm doing something now, aren't I?

You're not doing me.

Wow, you're needy, aren't you?

What? No.

No. You don't want to?

Even if I wanted to, I can't.

Because that's so wrong. That's so inappropriate.

You're already doing this. It's not any worse than you sucking me off.

Yeah, but... I guess you are

technically already inside of me.

What, do you think I'm, like, not good at sex or whatever?

Just because I never have sex?

I highly doubt that you're good at sex, but you do have a nice

dick. So I'm curious, but there's no way that you're good at it.

So I don't particularly think I'll cum.

Should I, like, pity fuck you?

No, I'll make you cum.

There's no way you're going to make me cum. Easy.

No chance.

No chance.

But I bet I could make you come.

Oh, yeah.

It's going to be a mystery.

I don't think it would be that hard. When's the last time you've even had

sex? A while.

Yeah, exactly.

You'll probably come in like a minute.

No, I want to sleep way longer than that.

There's no way that you could last longer than that. Yes, I can. I swear.

No. I don't believe you.

Let me show you.

Come on.

Okay.

You

just...

You can't tell your sister, okay?

No, I swear to God, she's not going to find out.

You promise?

I promise.

Okay, fine.

Let's see what you got.

Oh, yeah.

How long have you been thinking about fucking me?

That's the first time you came over?

That's been so long.

Years. Yeah, you're strong. Oh, my God.

Fuck, that feels so good.

See, I told you.

I'm doing all the work. You still haven't done anything yet.

Let's begin.

Don't make me make myself come.

It counts that I get it too.

It doesn't count at all if I'm doing all the work. What?

Yeah. I'm fucking you and you're not fucking me.

Are you sure she's not coming home anytime soon?

No.

I'm not going to come. I just need a second.

I knew it. I knew you couldn't do it. I can do it. No, you can't.

No, no, no.

Let me do it from behind.

From behind? No way.

Come on.

That would be even better.

God, yes.

Thank you.

See, not too bad, right?

Well, whatever.

Why don't you fuck my mouth now?

Am I living up to it?

Thank you.

Don't ever feel needed to children.