Original subtitles

Well, of course he can get in and out of bed on his own. I mean, he's got two

feet, doesn't he?

Look, when you first showed up here, did I ever use the word vegetable?

Huh? The word moribund? Come on.

No. Did I call him a cripple?

No, no, no. He has Lewy body dementia. I understand.

That is it.

I mean, granted, he jerks around like some goddamn inflatable in front of a

gas station.

But our job is to make an 87-year-old man comfortable. And that

is it.

Oh, Christ.

Hey, wait a minute. Wait. Hey.

Oh, you didn't scream and shout at him, did you?

He responds to kindness.

and charm.

Come on. I've got five minutes left on my shift, and I've got to check on that

dreary old phlebotomist.

Although, he does have a twinkle in his eye today.

A real sparkle.

Here, come on. Eat one.

They're for you.

Lab cooking.

I made them from scratch.

Old family recipe.

Go on, sit down, have a bite.

You know the secret?

It's in the molasses.

The darker the better.

It's tree sap.

Go on, eat it.

Eat it, you're skinny for an Italian.

had moved him from 87 years old to 89?

Well, we're confirmed.

I couldn't believe it myself.

Oh, that is just fantastic.

Tonight, I'm going to light a candle against a man.

Oh, praise be, praise be.

Three. Okay, I think that's enough. That's good, we got it.

I'm gonna get you up now, okay?

I'm gonna do your back.

I got you here.

Good, you're gonna use your arms.

Count to three. One, two, three.

Did I scare you?

I'm sorry, I think I scared you.

We're done, we're done. I'm gonna lower you back.

Here we go.

Very good.

I got you.

I'll be right back, okay?

Okay.

Clowns are making a comeback.

Why? Because the world needs us.

The world needs to laugh at itself.

We make that happen.

I'm sure we've gotten a bad rap lately that John Wayne Gacy took a wrong turn

or two and the Hollywood horror honchos have pounced.

But those clown exploiters know nothing, nothing of the jester's craft, the

ancient art of it.

and if we screw the lids back on the grease paint and walk away something

essential dies with us that cannot be replaced love it that

is why clown school is essential

the joy is in the tradition in the learning

We don't tolerate latecomers here. Class starts at 10 p.m. sharp.

No exceptions.

Flowers, cute, but no.

Sign up for the next workshop as posted outside.

All right, Bozo.

If this is one of your tricks, it's not very funny.

Mr. Noss.

Ooh, that delicious aroma.

I know I'm not supposed to like it. It's instant, but ooh, I love it.

Here, can I make you a cup? It'll just take an instant. Oh, no, no, thank you.

I'm gonna head home. I'll go right to bed. Oh, no, but it sank up.

Come on.

Start your day off right.

Constance. Mm-hmm?

I know I've said this before, but last night, the liquid, it was black

and it was viscous.

Well, he upjumped, right?

Right. I mean, it's just his tummy.

Look, when you've had the kind of career that Mr. Nass has had, I mean, the daily

stresses just come with the territory. That bleeding ulcer? Never.

Completely healed.

So there's always a little dried blood in the stomach lining and... Constance,

I have treated ulcers before. This was different.

It was darker.

Well, how dark?

Like crude oil.

Oh, come on. Betty, don't be so dramatic.

Take your saver. Come sit down.

Here.

Tell me all your worries, douceur.

You know, Benny,

I have to say, you have told me your whole life story,

given the calamitous headlines and all, but why is it you have never asked me

about mine?

I mean, aren't you at all curious how I got started in the hospice care

business?

Well, I'll tell you.

You see, it was after my husband cheated on

me with our maid.

I mean, my children were already well out of huggies by then. So I said to

myself, Constance, don't mire in the mud

like a pig.

And give back.

Come on, drink your Sanka, honey.

It's like a DJ Steve.

Anyhow, straight to Belle Reve Memorial I went.

I started as a candy striper.

And, you know, it turns out I was pretty good at handing out candy canes. Almost

as good as inserting thermometers, but, well, another story.

The doctors that I worked under, well, they saw what you saw last night, but

all the time, stressed-out bankers and lawyers coming in and coughing up their

stomach contents.

Coffee grounds, they called it.

Well,

of course, we had Mr.

Nas on antacids, right?

Oh, man, but after a while, I mean, we had to take him off their Prilosec. I

mean... Just to clear the air, if you know what I mean.

So gassy.

So gassy. And I detest foul odors, you know, like rotten eggs.

Right, right.

Almost sulfurous.

So, anyhow, we got him off all of that, and up

came the results.

And I do apologize. I should have warned you ahead of time. But I'll tell you

what I'm going to do.

I'll give him a Pepto tonight before your shift starts.

And what about the things on his head?

Well, he's old, for Christ's sakes. You know, that goddamn prehistoric skull is

always shifting.

They're moving and protruding like good old San Andreas.

To live is to suffer.

Buddha said that.

The truth of the matter is,

back then I had a motive.

I wanted to learn care and medical instruction.

For one reason only.

My children.

I was what they called emotionally absent.

Yeah.

And I thought that if I could

take... Take care of them.

Help them.

Save them.

That that would be my penance.

Yeah, but a mother can only do so much.

Very sorry.

I had thought that you said your children were... They were thriving.

Luke, you finished your sink.

Good boy.

Well, you get some rest.

Oh, uh... What happened to the maid?

Beg your pardon?

The maid?

The one who had an affair with your husband?

Well, let's just say a bullet straight through her eye socket finally

made her see the error of her ways.

All right. You take care, honey.

It's just that this latest client has unusual aspects.

Mr. Nas?

I see, okay.

What seems out of the ordinary?

Maybe you heard some things from my predecessor?

You know, I think maybe that's the solution.

I should just spare you the details and talk to somebody who knows Mr. Nas.

I can look that up.

Okay, that was her.

Right. I don't need to meet her in person.

Well... Well, you can't, Benjamin.

You can't because our colleague, Rosalind Myers, who worked for Mr.

Knott's before you... Because... Miss Myers took her own life.

We had the attack beginning at 10.13 p.m. when the killer intruded on

rehearsal space with a set of tricks that turned deadly. And rest assured,

this clown assailant will not find a hiding place in the City of Angels.

The classmates, the families, and the SoCal community will not soon forget

these 13 dedicated performers who tragically lost their lives today. There

are online rumors about the 13 victims matching the number on a tarot card left

at the scene. Any significance in that number?

Nothing further at this time.

Thank you all for coming.

Come here, my dear.

Come here.

Come see the night sky.

My little sugar plum.

We'll have a big moon, Mama. Is that where I was all this time? All these

years?

No.

No, Adelaide.

You didn't go to the moon.

You went much further.

For time is the longest distance between two places.

To paraphrase Mr. Williams, that's Tennessee to those in the know.

Oh, but I just want you to know that while you were away, I was always with

you, minor Liebling.

And what a gift to have you back.

Oh, it's good to be back, isn't it, huh?

Good to be back.

And who knew?

A little dirt nap would be so beneficial to a young girl's complexion.

Here, have a cookie.

One for sorrow, two for mirth.

Three for a wedding and four for a birth.

And then comes in a pretty girl.

You know, Hattie, of all the children under my care, you were always the

most aware of something.

My sensitive girl.

That moon is so big and powerful.

I can feel it pulling me up.

Yes, up, up towards a new day.

Yep.

Oh, I've always hated Christmas. All that forced merriment and peace on

Earth.

Bah humbug. We're on Christmas.

This shithole of a planet will never know peace until there is some

ultimate order.

But it's on the horizon. I can feel it. And so can that wolf moon up there.

And isn't this holiday worth celebrating tonight?

Thirteen days after the birthday of that Christ child. So much better than

Christmas.

That's for you.

What's good, my guy?

Hey.

That's it? Yeah.

Yo,

Emma.

Oh, yeah.

Lucky man.

God, maybe my life could change.

Yeah, it might.

If I win, where are you sending me?

Cabo San Lucas.

Yes. Oh, I take it back. Turks and Caicos.

Oh, Jesus. No.

Very bad. Sorry, bro. It's Jesus for everyone.

You good?

Yeah. I got him.

Yo, you won.

I'm dreaming a dark Christmas.

Quick, don't you dare tip that tanner bomb onto my precious daughter.

Mother has so few chances to gather her brood together.

Holidays. Are for cucks.

Ask me if I even give a shit. What a Christmas!

Hey,

butt plug! Hold it steady!

Hold your own lighter, blue balls.

Is it sadder that you died?

I think you wanted to start a pussy posse with Zach Braff.

Go rub one out.

Basement dweller.

So beautiful.

Pretty girl.

Follow me after you.

Pretty girl indeed.