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This week, it's the United Nations

This week, it's the United Nations

This week, it's the United Nations General Assembly. It's like a global

General Assembly. It's like a global

General Assembly. It's like a global high school reunion where everyone

high school reunion where everyone

high school reunion where everyone catches up and finds out which country

catches up and finds out which country

catches up and finds out which country is gay. Now,

is gay. Now,

is gay. Now, it's also a big week for America's top

it's also a big week for America's top

it's also a big week for America's top diplomat, Secretary of State Marco

diplomat, Secretary of State Marco

diplomat, Secretary of State Marco Rubio. It's his job to represent

Rubio. It's his job to represent

Rubio. It's his job to represent American power. When Marco Rubio is in

American power. When Marco Rubio is in

American power. When Marco Rubio is in the room, people take notice.

the room, people take notice.

the room, people take notice. >> I want to thank Secretary of State Marco

>> I want to thank Secretary of State Marco

>> I want to thank Secretary of State Marco Rubio. Where is Marco?

Rubio. Where is Marco?

Rubio. Where is Marco? Mark,

>> you know, people think Trump's brain is

>> you know, people think Trump's brain is

>> you know, people think Trump's brain is broken, but you forget his eyes are also

broken, but you forget his eyes are also

broken, but you forget his eyes are also dumb.

dumb.

dumb. >> But obviously once Trump recognized

>> But obviously once Trump recognized

>> But obviously once Trump recognized Marco Rubio, he wasn't going to forget

Marco Rubio, he wasn't going to forget

Marco Rubio, he wasn't going to forget him a second time.

him a second time.

him a second time. >> You know, Marco's parents were born in

>> You know, Marco's parents were born in

>> You know, Marco's parents were born in Cuba. It's like a great story and he

Cuba. It's like a great story and he

Cuba. It's like a great story and he wants to figure it all out. Bar, I don't

wants to figure it all out. Bar, I don't

wants to figure it all out. Bar, I don't want to figure out what's exactly that.

want to figure out what's exactly that.

want to figure out what's exactly that. Again, I'm I'm starting to think this is

Again, I'm I'm starting to think this is

Again, I'm I'm starting to think this is less about Trump's brain and more about

less about Trump's brain and more about

less about Trump's brain and more about Marco's personality.

Marco's personality.

Marco's personality. If Trump can't recognize you after he

If Trump can't recognize you after he

If Trump can't recognize you after he just recognized you, maybe you're just

just recognized you, maybe you're just

just recognized you, maybe you're just too bland. I mean, have you ever thought

too bland. I mean, have you ever thought

too bland. I mean, have you ever thought about getting a monle or bangs or maybe

about getting a monle or bangs or maybe

about getting a monle or bangs or maybe a face tattoo that says, "I'm Marco

a face tattoo that says, "I'm Marco

a face tattoo that says, "I'm Marco Rubio, Mr. President."

Rubio, Mr. President."

Rubio, Mr. President." Yeah. But let's move on to Janine Piro,

Yeah. But let's move on to Janine Piro,

Yeah. But let's move on to Janine Piro, Trump's top US attorney and woman who

Trump's top US attorney and woman who

Trump's top US attorney and woman who will have another martini. Thank you.

will have another martini. Thank you.

will have another martini. Thank you. The president counts on her to lock up

The president counts on her to lock up

The president counts on her to lock up America's greatest enemies like James

America's greatest enemies like James

America's greatest enemies like James Comey or Barack Obama or Canada.

Comey or Barack Obama or Canada.

Comey or Barack Obama or Canada. Well, big news. She just got her hands

Well, big news. She just got her hands

Well, big news. She just got her hands on America's most wanted.

on America's most wanted.

on America's most wanted. >> You have right in front of you the

>> You have right in front of you the

>> You have right in front of you the largest known Martian meteorite or now

largest known Martian meteorite or now

largest known Martian meteorite or now meteorite in the world.

meteorite in the world.

meteorite in the world. >> Okay. Did it like commit tax fraud or

>> Okay. Did it like commit tax fraud or

>> Okay. Did it like commit tax fraud or something? Isn't this a job for Space

something? Isn't this a job for Space

something? Isn't this a job for Space Force? Why do you have it?

Force? Why do you have it?

Force? Why do you have it? >> We have seized it as part of the work

>> We have seized it as part of the work

>> We have seized it as part of the work that we do in the United States

that we do in the United States

that we do in the United States Attorney's Office. What's the next step

Attorney's Office. What's the next step

Attorney's Office. What's the next step we did, Rick?

we did, Rick?

we did, Rick? >> We investigate.

>> We investigate.

>> We investigate. >> Good answer.

>> Good answer.

>> Good answer. >> Yeah, good answer, Rick. Also, who the

>> Yeah, good answer, Rick. Also, who the

>> Yeah, good answer, Rick. Also, who the is Rick?

is Rick?

is Rick? And why is he standing in the corner?

And why is he standing in the corner?

And why is he standing in the corner? Seriously, what exactly are you

Seriously, what exactly are you

Seriously, what exactly are you investigating?

investigating?

investigating? >> We investigate and find out this thing's

>> We investigate and find out this thing's

>> We investigate and find out this thing's been going back and forth. Maybe it hit

been going back and forth. Maybe it hit

been going back and forth. Maybe it hit the Sahara Desert. Maybe it's from

the Sahara Desert. Maybe it's from

the Sahara Desert. Maybe it's from Niger. Maybe it's from Morocco. Somebody

Niger. Maybe it's from Morocco. Somebody

Niger. Maybe it's from Morocco. Somebody bought it in Italy. A lot of people have

bought it in Italy. A lot of people have

bought it in Italy. A lot of people have had their hands on it. Or more than your

had their hands on it. Or more than your

had their hands on it. Or more than your hands.

More than did somebody that meteorite.

More than did somebody that meteorite.

More than did somebody that meteorite. I mean, I cannot think of one weirdo

I mean, I cannot think of one weirdo

I mean, I cannot think of one weirdo freak who would be into a Mars rock.

freak who would be into a Mars rock.

freak who would be into a Mars rock. Okay.

Okay.

Okay. I cannot think of two weirdo freaks who

I cannot think of two weirdo freaks who

I cannot think of two weirdo freaks who would be into a Mars rock. Janine, I'm

would be into a Mars rock. Janine, I'm

would be into a Mars rock. Janine, I'm so confused. What are you doing with

so confused. What are you doing with

so confused. What are you doing with that Martian meteor?

that Martian meteor?

that Martian meteor? >> The truth is that we don't know who owns

>> The truth is that we don't know who owns

>> The truth is that we don't know who owns it. So, we own it now. We have seized

it. So, we own it now. We have seized

it. So, we own it now. We have seized it. When did we seize it? Do you know?

it. When did we seize it? Do you know?

it. When did we seize it? Do you know? >> July 16, 2026.

>> July 16, 2026.

>> July 16, 2026. >> Who the is that guy?

>> Who the is that guy?

>> Who the is that guy? >> Did you clone Rick?

>> Did you clone Rick?

>> Did you clone Rick? Just tell us what's with this rock.

Just tell us what's with this rock.

Just tell us what's with this rock. >> The thing came from Mars. Everybody says

>> The thing came from Mars. Everybody says

>> The thing came from Mars. Everybody says they own it. Customs has no record of it

they own it. Customs has no record of it

they own it. Customs has no record of it ever coming into the United States. So

ever coming into the United States. So

ever coming into the United States. So guess what? The United States government

guess what? The United States government

guess what? The United States government owns it now. So eat that all you guys

owns it now. So eat that all you guys

owns it now. So eat that all you guys who tried to do a corrupt deal and sell

who tried to do a corrupt deal and sell

who tried to do a corrupt deal and sell this largest known meteorite in history.

this largest known meteorite in history.

this largest known meteorite in history. >> Yes. Thank you, Janine Piro. When voters

>> Yes. Thank you, Janine Piro. When voters

>> Yes. Thank you, Janine Piro. When voters said they wanted to crack down on

said they wanted to crack down on

said they wanted to crack down on corruption, only she understood that we

corruption, only she understood that we

corruption, only she understood that we meant meteor specific corruption.

meant meteor specific corruption.

meant meteor specific corruption. Great job, Janine. You know what? You

Great job, Janine. You know what? You

Great job, Janine. You know what? You get yourself a third Rick. You deserve

get yourself a third Rick. You deserve

get yourself a third Rick. You deserve it. Way to go.

>> Finally, let's check in on the only

>> Finally, let's check in on the only

>> Finally, let's check in on the only living person to ever haunt the White

living person to ever haunt the White

living person to ever haunt the White House, First Lady Melania Trump.

House, First Lady Melania Trump.

House, First Lady Melania Trump. She's back in the news with a very big

She's back in the news with a very big

She's back in the news with a very big announcement.

announcement.

announcement. >> You're launching Imperia. And I was

>> You're launching Imperia. And I was

>> You're launching Imperia. And I was reading about this and it's described as

reading about this and it's described as

reading about this and it's described as a Davos for executive women. Tell us

a Davos for executive women. Tell us

a Davos for executive women. Tell us about it.

about it.

about it. >> Well, this is my new initiative uh

>> Well, this is my new initiative uh

>> Well, this is my new initiative uh focused on advancing um

focused on advancing um

focused on advancing um um leadership and as well as influence

um leadership and as well as influence

um leadership and as well as influence and uh economic uh power for women.

and uh economic uh power for women.

and uh economic uh power for women. >> This is this is exciting. It's like I've

>> This is this is exciting. It's like I've

>> This is this is exciting. It's like I've always said, more women in the

always said, more women in the

always said, more women in the Illuminati.

Illuminati.

Illuminati. always say that. And Fox News loved this

always say that. And Fox News loved this

always say that. And Fox News loved this because Melania is not just a

because Melania is not just a

because Melania is not just a businesswoman. She's from Slovenia,

businesswoman. She's from Slovenia,

businesswoman. She's from Slovenia, which means that she can warn their Fox

which means that she can warn their Fox

which means that she can warn their Fox viewers about the danger of communism.

viewers about the danger of communism.

viewers about the danger of communism. >> Why is it that Eastern Europeans like

>> Why is it that Eastern Europeans like

>> Why is it that Eastern Europeans like yourself fully understand uh the gift of

yourself fully understand uh the gift of

yourself fully understand uh the gift of freedom and liberty better than Western

freedom and liberty better than Western

freedom and liberty better than Western Europeans and sometimes better than

Europeans and sometimes better than

Europeans and sometimes better than Americans? What is it about how you grew

Americans? What is it about how you grew

Americans? What is it about how you grew up? classic Fox lobbing a softball

up? classic Fox lobbing a softball

up? classic Fox lobbing a softball knowing that Melania is the perfect

knowing that Melania is the perfect

knowing that Melania is the perfect person to talk about how terrible

person to talk about how terrible

person to talk about how terrible growing up under communism is.

growing up under communism is.

growing up under communism is. >> I grew up uh under the communism and

>> I grew up uh under the communism and

>> I grew up uh under the communism and actually I didn't miss anything. I feel

actually I didn't miss anything. I feel

actually I didn't miss anything. I feel I had very beautiful childhood and um my

I had very beautiful childhood and um my

I had very beautiful childhood and um my parents provide a beautiful child for my

parents provide a beautiful child for my

parents provide a beautiful child for my family.

>> Damn. Killme lobbed up a softball and

>> Damn. Killme lobbed up a softball and

>> Damn. Killme lobbed up a softball and Melania spiked it right into his nuts.

Melania spiked it right into his nuts.

Melania spiked it right into his nuts. Workers of the world be best.

Workers of the world be best.

Workers of the world be best. Didn't go as planned at all. You can

Didn't go as planned at all. You can

Didn't go as planned at all. You can almost hear the Fox News director going,

almost hear the Fox News director going,

almost hear the Fox News director going, "Quick, cut to an immigrant shoplifting.

"Quick, cut to an immigrant shoplifting.

"Quick, cut to an immigrant shoplifting. Uh, transgender swimmer, anything." But

Uh, transgender swimmer, anything." But

Uh, transgender swimmer, anything." But Melania wasn't there just to promote

Melania wasn't there just to promote

Melania wasn't there just to promote communism or women or anything besides

communism or women or anything besides

communism or women or anything besides herself. She was there to promote

herself. She was there to promote

herself. She was there to promote herself. This is her first big media

herself. This is her first big media

herself. This is her first big media appearance since her press tour for her

appearance since her press tour for her

appearance since her press tour for her Melania documentary. If and if you're

Melania documentary. If and if you're

Melania documentary. If and if you're one of the people who left the theater

one of the people who left the theater

one of the people who left the theater wishing that it was two hours longer,

wishing that it was two hours longer,

wishing that it was two hours longer, good news.

good news.

good news. >> You told us during the commercial break

>> You told us during the commercial break

>> You told us during the commercial break that you have a new docu series coming

that you have a new docu series coming

that you have a new docu series coming out.

out.

out. >> It it will come out uh this year and um

>> It it will come out uh this year and um

>> It it will come out uh this year and um it will be very different what is in the

it will be very different what is in the

it will be very different what is in the movie. It's more conversation one-on-one

movie. It's more conversation one-on-one

movie. It's more conversation one-on-one with me.

>> Another Melania documentary. Melania, I

>> Another Melania documentary. Melania, I

>> Another Melania documentary. Melania, I love you, but unless you're living with

love you, but unless you're living with

love you, but unless you're living with Nathan Fielder in this thing, no one is

Nathan Fielder in this thing, no one is

Nathan Fielder in this thing, no one is asking for this. The only thing people

asking for this. The only thing people

asking for this. The only thing people want to know is what you fed your kid to

want to know is what you fed your kid to

want to know is what you fed your kid to make him eight feet tall.

make him eight feet tall.

make him eight feet tall. You know what? It's too late now. You

You know what? It's too late now. You

You know what? It's too late now. You filmed it and it's about to come out.

filmed it and it's about to come out.

filmed it and it's about to come out. Wait, when is it coming out?

Wait, when is it coming out?

Wait, when is it coming out? >> It's coming out um any any day.

>> It's coming out um any any day.

>> It's coming out um any any day. November, maybe November. We don't have

November, maybe November. We don't have

November, maybe November. We don't have exact date yet.

exact date yet.

exact date yet. >> You don't have a date yet. You need a

>> You don't have a date yet. You need a

>> You don't have a date yet. You need a more specific timeline than that. It's a

more specific timeline than that. It's a

more specific timeline than that. It's a documentary, not your husband's war.

>> Obviously, I'm not excited about the new

>> Obviously, I'm not excited about the new

>> Obviously, I'm not excited about the new Melania documentary, but she left the

Melania documentary, but she left the

Melania documentary, but she left the Fox News host absolutely jazzed

Fox News host absolutely jazzed

Fox News host absolutely jazzed >> in their population that agree with the

>> in their population that agree with the

>> in their population that agree with the cause of Iran as well. So it's not just

cause of Iran as well. So it's not just

cause of Iran as well. So it's not just a matter of the their politics in the

a matter of the their politics in the

a matter of the their politics in the Gulf States are quite complicated,

Gulf States are quite complicated,

Gulf States are quite complicated, right?

>> Someday in November can't come soon

>> Someday in November can't come soon

>> Someday in November can't come soon enough.

enough.

enough. But even if Brian Kilme isn't excited

But even if Brian Kilme isn't excited

But even if Brian Kilme isn't excited about the new Melania movie, some people

about the new Melania movie, some people

about the new Melania movie, some people are, especially now that they just

are, especially now that they just

are, especially now that they just released the trailer.

released the trailer.

released the trailer. >> In January, one documentary changed the

>> In January, one documentary changed the

>> In January, one documentary changed the world.

world.

world. >> Here we go again.

>> Here we go again.

>> Here we go again. >> And now she will change the world again.

>> And now she will change the world again.

>> And now she will change the world again. Here we go again.

Here we go again.

Here we go again. >> Introducing a new Melania movie.

>> Introducing a new Melania movie.

>> Introducing a new Melania movie. >> We don't have exact date yet.

>> We don't have exact date yet.

>> We don't have exact date yet. >> Sometime soon.

>> Sometime soon.

>> Sometime soon. >> It's coming out um any any day.

>> It's coming out um any any day.

>> It's coming out um any any day. >> Any day. Prepare yourself.

>> Any day. Prepare yourself.

>> Any day. Prepare yourself. >> November. Maybe November.

>> November. Maybe November.

>> November. Maybe November. >> Block out November. And if you think

>> Block out November. And if you think

>> Block out November. And if you think this is just another cash grab like the

this is just another cash grab like the

this is just another cash grab like the last movie, you're wrong.

last movie, you're wrong.

last movie, you're wrong. >> It will be very different what is in the

>> It will be very different what is in the

>> It will be very different what is in the movie.

movie.

movie. >> It could be about anything. She's been

>> It could be about anything. She's been

>> It could be about anything. She's been talking about robots a lot lately. Maybe

talking about robots a lot lately. Maybe

talking about robots a lot lately. Maybe that

that

that >> the robots are here. We're speculating

>> the robots are here. We're speculating

>> the robots are here. We're speculating here. So this November, maybe watch

here. So this November, maybe watch

here. So this November, maybe watch Melania 2, if that's what we're calling

Melania 2, if that's what we're calling

Melania 2, if that's what we're calling it. It's very exciting.

it. It's very exciting.

it. It's very exciting. >> So it's uh kind of exciting.

>> So it's uh kind of exciting.

>> So it's uh kind of exciting. >> It's kind of exciting.