Original subtitles

SERENE CLASSICAL MUSIC

- Hi. - Oh! - Try this.

- Oh, for me? - Mm-hm. - Thank you.

Thank you. Ooh! Thanks. SHE CHUCKLES

My, er... My sister should be down any minute with Kav.

Mm, I can't wait to meet her, this other version of you.

Oh, yeah, the older, much, much mouthier version.

But she is very much in love, though.

- Well, given that she's getting married tomorrow, that's good. - Yeah.

Yeah. No, love... love is definitely a very good thing.

BOTH CHUCKLE

That, erm, news I mentioned. Oh, yeah.

- I've been offered a new role. Oh! Amazing! - Yeah.

In Singapore.

Gosh!

12-month contract. Phenomenal package.

It was... incredibly hard to turn down.

Oh, yeah, no, it must've been.

So I leave in a fortnight.

Wow! That's, erm... That is big news.

Well, the thing is, Luella...

...I really don't wanna be apart from you.

Ohh! Me, too.

So, how about...

we give our love a chance? Hm?

SERENE CLASSICAL MUSIC

This is gonna be such a fun weekend.

- I can feel it in my waters. - Ah, Sebastian's loss is your gain, eh?

PHONE BUZZES Oh!

Oh, it's Annie.

Ah, she's running late. "Long day. Ready for a drink."

That makes two of us. You like her, don't you?

Ah, she's great fun. Absolutely zero interest in a serious relationship,

which probably makes her my perfect woman.

PHONE RINGS Sorry! I'm gonna have to get this.

I'll just be two minutes, OK? Mwah!

Oh! This is great.

Luella, I owe you a drink for getting me an invite.

- Are you OK?Mm? - I think somebodymust have slipped somethinginto her cucumber cooler.

- Right, I'm getting you a G&T. You, beer? - Oh, yes.

Ah, Lia's sister. Has to be.

- How did you guess? - Oh, you guysare like two peas in a pod, eh?

Oh, yeah. Except she is quite a bit older.

Oh. And you are?

Oh, er, Ash. Kav's best man and surprised younger brother.

- Surprised? - Yeah, I just thoughthe'd be a bachelor forever.

Hey, this place is pretty fancy, eh? Even if the IT's rubbish!

Took me half an hour to check in.

What you hiding there, sneaky beers for later?

At a wedding? Even I'm not that cheap!

BOTH LAUGH

Oh.

Ooh-ooh! My maid of honour. Oh, you look amazing!

Oh, thank you, honey.

Although I'm crying on the inside.

I've just spoken to Susie, my other bridesmaid.

She doesn't think she's gonna be able to come.

Her cat's gone into anaphylactic shock.

Oh, no! Still, the upside is

I've got your undivided attention for the whole weekend.

Ooh! You look... different.

Thanks. I do feel... Oh, Frank.

Mwah! Mwah! Hiya, Lia. Where's Kav?

Oh, he's upstairs with his groomsman. Well, groomswoman.

- Ellie. - Groomswoman? - Mm. She's also his boss.

I fancy a cocktail. Come on. Ooh, yeah, me, too.

DISCO MUSIC

Oh, David. You made it to the pre-drinks.

Oh, thank you, Sheila.

OK, keep your eyes closed.

The minute I saw this, I thought of you.

Ta-da!

- Oh, yes! Oh, it's great! Isn't it? - It's...

- Ah.What? - No, it's lovely. - It's lovely. Thank you.

- Hi! - Wow! - You look amazing, Annie!

- You look magic! - Oh, thanks. - I thought I'd make an effort.

Er, you gonna introduce me, Frank? Er, yes, this is...

I'm his girlfriend, Annie. Oh, hi!

How long's this been going on for? Now, that's a question.

Erm... Four months, two weeks, two days today!

I thought you'd been abducted! I'm so sorry.

We just had to finish off some work. Oh, he was desperate to join you.

You look gorgeous, by the way.

Oh, she looks fantastic. What the hell are you doing with me?

LU LAUGHS AWKWARDLY I'm Ellie. You must be Lia's sister.

- Oh, yeah, hi, I'm... Come here. - Aww! Thank you.

Ooh, you smell lovely. Is that, erm... Ooh!

That's, er, Sapphire Belle.

- It is. Thank you. - Since whendo you know about posh perfume?

- Since Cassius taught me. - Right, I'vejust got one email to finish off

and then mine is a dirty martini. Right.

Who is that? Oh, that's Cassius.

Oh, stop it!

Cassius! Hello, darling. Hi.

Cassius, this is my sister, Lia, and this is her fiance, Kav.

- This is Cassius. - Hello. - Congratulations to both of you.

Oh, cheers, mate. You're punching a bit above your weight, aren't you, Lu?

Well, Frank, compared to the usual. I mean, how much is she paying you?

Oh, stop it! Oh, it's a casual thing?

No. No, actually, it's serious.

Cassius has asked me to move to Singapore with him.

What?

- And I've said yes. - We're gonnabuild a life together, in Asia.

UPBEAT MUSIC

CHEERING AND WHISTLING

You know, I wanna be chuffed for her, but there's just something about him.

Who tries to upstage their own sister on the night before her wedding?

You know, you'll be sad if Luella does go, though.

I'll survive.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry about blurting it out like that. I didn't mean to.

No, it's fine. It's absolutely fine.

Hey! Hey!

Luella... HE BREATHES HEAVILY

...your fella, he's a top bloke. Thanks, yeah.

- Yeah, no, I think I'm developing a bit of a man crush on him. - Oh!

Lay off the alcohol, you. Yeah, I know.

I know. I've had to cut down since the diabetes thing.

But tonight, I am treating myself.

Yes, yes. You've gotta get rid of the pre-wedding nerves. SHE LAUGHS

Oh, and the work stress. I... I've just had a big project on lately.

Yeah, but if it goes well, you're gonna get a huge promotion.

I hope so, baby. Kav, I, erm...

- Oh, hey, Ash! - Can I have a wordwith you, please?- Yeah, sure.

So, erm, all this champagne. Is your Cassius loaded, then?

No comment.

Ooh, you lucky cow!

I love Kav to bits, but I wouldn't call him Mr Moneybags.

I thought you said that he's got a flat that he rents out.

Yeah, but that's for his pension.

He's got no spare cash, certainly not after this weekend.

- And him and Ellie, you're OK about that, are you? - Yeah!

Yeah, I'm fine. Absolutely fine.

DISCO MUSIC

Thanks for inviting me, Frank. Oh, I do love a wedding!

I can't help myself. Really? I hate them.

Ohh.

I think I'm falling for you, you know?

- Hey! - Luella, congratulations! - How romantic!

- Thank you. - Do you want me to get youanother cocktail?

Ooh, yeah. Er, no. No, actually.

- I promised Cassius this would be my last one. - Oh. I'll, er...

So you're giving up work, then?

Erm, no, actually.

Cassius has secured me a PI job in Singapore. It sounds amazing.

Oh, come on, Frank. I know you don't exactly love Cassius,

but you could just try and pretend to be a tiny bit pleased for me,

- for my sake. - What do you want, a round of applause?

DISCO MUSIC

Night, darling. Night-night, darling. Mwah!

I'll come and do your hair. Yes.

Night, baby. Hey, you're not leaving?

Yeah. I'm gonna go and get my beauty sleep.

And you should go to bed early, too. You're gonna need all your strength for tomorrow.

- Really? - Mm. - I look forward to it. OK.

- I love you, baby. - I love you, too. - Night, Franky-Frank.

I've got that thing for you. Remember that thing I was telling you about?

CASSIUS:Luella was living this turgid life.

I basically saved her. I've been teaching her to be

more sophisticated, a better person, and, well, it's working!

She's nearly ready to be introduced to my friends and family. Nearly.

They make a lovely couple, don't they?

Can I have another one, please? Er, make it a double.

BIRDS TWEET

I thought Cassius was just arrogant and controlling.

He's much worse than that. You have to tell her.

Yeah, I will. Just... after the wedding.

Ooh.

- Morning. - Morning!Hiya.- How was breakfast?

- It was all right, yeah. I'll go and get us a table. - OK.

Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go to my room.

Oh, you have to try the omelette. Oh. OK.

- So, where's Annie? She's having a lie in. - Yeah?

Has she got a sore head? Yeah.

Do I smell or something, Frank?

It's Kav! He's gone!

"Sorry, I can't go through with it. Will explain tomorrow. Kiss."

2am. I can't believe it. I don't believe it.

Kav would never do this to me.

Plus, that's not how he spells "through". He hates abbreviations.

He's not 16. Hm.

He's taken all his clothes.

Er, Lia, did Kav ever do or say anything

to suggest that he was getting cold... No! No.

Lia, do you know what passcode Kav would've used?

Er, try 24-03-96.

2-4-0-3...It's the day Aston Villa won the League Cup...9-6.

SAFE BEEPS

No.

Er, Lia's birthday?

Er, 0-3-0-6...

73.

...7...3. Yes. SAFE BEEPS

Oh, yes.

Ooh, that's nice. Is that yours?

- I've never seen that before in my life. - It's got an engraving.

"You are my Poppy. I am your Shade."

Who are Poppy and Shade? I've got no idea!

What's this? It's Kav's insulin pack.

- He wouldn't go anywhere without that. He could die. - Oh!

Well, that is really odd.

He wouldn't have left without it. Someone must have taken him.

This is not my first rodeo, Hathaway.

Why would I devote precious manpower tracking down another groom

who just wants to dodge a bullet?

I'm not a bullet!

Why would he leave his insulin kit behind?

He was clearly distracted. Which also explains the spelling.

I know Kav. He wouldn't leave me. He wouldn't.

Really? Whose is this, then?

You'll have to excuse me. I've got some actual police work to do.

Please!

Just find Kav. He could die.

Well, at least try and trace his phone.

Hm... no.

What is wrong with him? Where do I start?

- How long can Kav last without insulin? - Couple of hours, at best.

I mean, if he's got a hangover, maybe less.

Look where treating himself has got him.

Oh, Kav!

Oh, Kav! SHE SOBS

- So, what is it? - System's down. - There's no CCTV footage.

Oh, fantastic!

So we don't know whether Kav went back to his room or left the hotel.

- Can you have a look through these, please? - Roger Wilco.

- OK, guys. - Thank you everybodyfor joining me here looking for Kav.

And thank you for believing in me when the police don't.

I think we should split up. I think half of us should look outside,

and the rest of us should check the hotel. Thank you.

This can't be happening. I know, it's a nightmare.

Annie, inside? Yeah, I'll be right with you.

Hello, gorgeous. Oh, hello.

Listen, do we think Kav's done a runner?

No, definitely not. How did he seem last night when you spoke to him?

Well, he was pretty hammered, but he seemed really excited.

Erm... what was in the envelope?

What envelope? The one that Kav gave you.

That's between me and Kav, Frank.

Yeah, but he's gone missing, so I...

Are you interrogating me?

Well, I thought you met him for the first time last night.

Yeah. And I did. I'm... I'm gonna help with the search.

She's hiding something. She's only just met him!

We've only got her word for that.

Weren't you with her all last night?

Yeah, I was, but I fell asleep on the bidet.

See if you can find a link between her and Kav.

And try and have a look at that envelope in her handbag.

Is this anything to do with Annie being a bit intense lately?

- What do you mean? - I mean, do you think maybe your emotions

are clouding your judgement a bit? Look who's talking!

What do you mean? Two words. Singapore.

Oh, right, OK, you wanna go there, do you?

Yeah. We're going there. OK, fine!

Cassius might not be perfect, and, yes, he might be a bit of a know-it-all,

and he is suspiciously attractive, but honestly,

I feel like he's my one big chance at happiness, so please could you...

Er, Lia says that you're private detectives.

- Yes, we are. - So what do you think'shappened to Kav?

We don't know. But we do have quite a few leads.

Yeah, I mean, obviously, we've got leads.

Well, I pray to God you can find him.

Those earrings.

They're the same pattern as the bracelet.

Her and Kav?

Poppy!

That's your nickname, isn't it?

So? So...

...we found this in Kav's safe.

And? Kav's Shade, isn't he?

Were you two lovers? What?

You know, you decided if you couldn't have him, neither could Lia?

Shade isn't Kav. She's my girlfriend.

Girlfriend? Oh. Her real name's Heather.

Aw.

My safe was broken, so Kav offered to put that bracelet in his.

Oh, yeah, sorry. I didn't... We didn't realise you were...

Into girls?

Why would you?

I don't know. Kav's just a good friend.

And... a really lovely bloke.

Please find him. We'll do our best.

THUNDER RUMBLES

What, so you knew that Ellie had a girlfriend?

- Yes! - Oh. - Oh, don't be so provincial, Lu.

So what's the story between you and her, then?

Her and Kav joined the company at the same time.

Now she's a company director and Kav isn't.

- Oh, does she remind you of his lack of ambition? - No!- No.

Anyway, that's not important now.

It's seven hours since he sent that last message.

He could be in a coma by now!

Ash, Ellie.

Look, the wedding is off for the moment. But I'm not giving up on Kav.

Did you find out anything about Annie?

No, but I have identified Kav's work project.

He was tracing money stolen from his company.

He'd identified this man as the guilty party.

George Travis. Yeah.

Kav was gonna send his details to a forensic accountant.

Oh, what's he doing here?

Oh!

It is your lucky day, Hathaway. I took a look at the groom's phone.

I wanted to see how far he'd bolted. And?

Come with me.

Ooh, I'm coming, too. Not you.

- Best you stay here. - Why?- Well, we don't know what we're gonna find.

Oh, my God! Oh, Lia, no, don't listen to him.

His phone was last turned on here, 2am last night.

When the message was sent to Lia. What are they waiting for, then?

We are being careful, cos we don't know who else is inside, do we?

Well, get on with it, then! He could be dying in there!

All right, Hathaway, calm down!

You're with the professionals now.

Right, Blue Two, on my command.

Operation Stag.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Go!

HE GROANS SOFTLY

DOOR CREAKS

Clear.

Dammit!

SHE SIGHS

- Look. - What? - There.

Try Lia's birthday again. Right, 16th...

No, 3rd of June. Right.

...0-3-7-3.

WHISPERS: "I will never forgive you for this." Received 1am.

Tampering with evidence?

How out of character.

Nice to see you're finally taking this seriously.

Says the man who is the epitome of a joke.

He needs to work on his punch lines.

Right, given that text message, we know where we need to go next.

Ash is never gonna talk to us. Not after I insulted him last night.

No. We need a plan B.

Yes!

IN EASTERN EUROPEAN ACCENT: Room service.

Your lunch, Mr Gandani.

Oh, I didn't order anything. It's on ze house.

A goodwill gesture from management, given the circumstances.

Oh, thank you.

Ooh!

SHE GASPS So strong!

Haven't I seen you before?

People say I look like young Lady Gaga.

So...

You have plus-one for this wedding, then?

Me? No.

SHE CHUCKLES Shame.

And how well do you know this groom?

Ah, erm...

Oh, well, er...

he's my brother. SHE GASPS

Really? Mm.

Well, er...

if you need shoulder to cry on, come and find me in the basement.

- SHE COUGHS LOUDLY Sorry. - Oh!

I have a little... tickle.

Oh, that's... Oh, that's...

Oh!

Sorry, let me just, er...

I thought you needed cheering up.

SHE GASPS Oh, my goodness!

It's really happening, isn't it? Mm-hm.

Erm... given that the wedding's been postponed,

I've sorted some meetings, so I'll see you later, OK?

Oh, OK.

You're gonna find him, Luella. What?

Yes! Yes!

OK.

I don't know what I did to deserve him.

Smashed half a dozen mirrors?

Could you try being a little bit less cynical

just for once in your life, Frank? Cynical? I'm trying to protect you.

Protect me? No, you're not. You have never liked him.

All right. Last night, I overheard Cassius telling Ash

how turgid your life was before he came along

and how much he's improved you

and how you're almost ready to meet his posh family and friends.

- No. No, he wouldn't. He wouldn't say that. - He did.

It was like a scene out of My Fair Lady. He's trying to change you, Lu.

He's not! He's not! He's just trying to make me a better person!

You couldn't be any better! Why don't you want me to be happy?

- I do! - No, you don't. - You want me to be like you. You wantme to be miserable and sad and...

Er, I took this from Ash's room.

He was asking Kav to make a new will.

He was working out what to say.

"I wouldn't want to lose my only hope for ever owning a property."

We, er, need to talk to Ash.

Obviously.

LU SIGHS

Hi.

- Oh, have you found him? No, have you? - No.

What do you want?

Last night, you and your brother argued about your inheritance.

And according to this,

Kav left you everything in his current will.

Yeah, well, I am his closest relative.

But if Kav got married, then the current will

would become null and void. So?

So... last night you urged him to write a new will, didn't you?

Leaving you his rental property.

And judging by the reaction in the bar...

And your angry text, Kav wasn't keen.

He said he would leave everything to Lia

and she said that she'd prefer it that way.

That must have been tough to hear. Well, yeah.

But if Kav dies before the marriage, then you still get everything.

Hold on. No. Sorry, no, no, that's crazy.

I mean, yeah, I was angry with him last night,

but he's my brother, OK? I would do anything for him.

He owes me nothing. And... And I love him.

Sorry.

SHE SIGHS We need more proof.

11 hours.

Hey! The systems are back online.

The CCTV.

Stop. There he is.

So, in the two minutes after Kav got in the lift,

three key cards were used.

403, 307 and 198.

Aren't all the wedding guests on the second floor?

Yeah, they were.

Room 307 was only booked late yesterday evening,

for two nights, by a G Travis.

George Travis. The man who defrauded Kav's company.

You need to call Keeler. And an ambulance.

- Could we get a key to room 307, please? - Yes, of course.

So this Travis guy must've come back to silence Kav.

But why would Kav go to his room?

Well, Kav's room number was 207.

I wonder.

Ready? Yeah.

OK.

HE GROANS Oh.

Well... HE SIGHS

Ready?

Kav?

Bingo.

Oh, no. Kav's been here.

It's still warm. He's only just been moved.

The maid. The maid!

Oh, no.

HE SIGHS Ooh, hang on, Frank.

That's Sapphire Belle.

Are you sure?

BOTH:That wasn't the maid.

Let's split up. You go downstairs, I'll go up.

Nothing upstairs. Nothing down here, either.

- Frank. - Annie, have you seen a maidpushing a big blue laundry bin?

No. Oh, Frank, it's out here!

Oh. It's raining. What are you doing?

- It's raining. Come on! - My hair!

Ohh!

SHE SIGHS Where is he?

Where is she? There.

Ellie!

Hi. What have you done with Kav?

- What? - He was about to expose youfor fraud, wasn't he?

So you decided to silence him.

Oh, I think you've got me confused.

Oh, with George Travis? No, cos that's your alias.

- Which Kav was just about to discover. - This is ridiculous.

Erm, can I get to my car, please?

Let me guess. Kav told you he was hiring a forensic accountant

to dig into the George Travis alias.

Which would've revealed your identity and cost you everything.

So you booked yourself into room 307, didn't you?

You chose 307 cos the walk to the lift

would look the same to Kav, especially after a few drinks.

And then you just had to swap the key cards over in his jacket.

And he left his jacket on the back of a chair,

which made it pretty easy, yeah?

And then you snuck out of the bar early,

let yourself into room 307 and you waited.

No.

Your DNA's gonna be all over room 307.

- And that maid's outfit. And so will Kav's. - It's over, Ellie.

I just wanted him to see sense.

Ellie! Hello!

We need to talk.

OK.

I'm George Travis.

HE LAUGHS What?

Shade has very expensive tastes, Kav.

And I needed to pay my way or I'd lose her.

Er, but... Destroy the evidence

and I'll give you half the cash.

And get you that promotion.

Oh, Ellie!

I can't do it. Not even for Lia?

Er...

Nah, it's...

It's wrong, Ellie.

I'm gonna have to report you. Sorry.

No, Kav... I'm sorry.

MUFFLES CRIES

THUD

Wh... What are you doing?

You booked that hotel room for two nights.

And then you planted the phone to throw us off track.

This wasn't about just making him see sense.

This was about killing him. Where is he, Ellie?

You know, if he does die, this is a murder charge.

You'll be in prison for the rest of your life.

I think it's too late.

CLATTERING

No!

Go on!

No! No, stop!

Wait!

No, no!

Ohh!

Stop! Stop!

SHE PANTS

There's a man in there!

Ohh!

He's alive. HE GROANS

He's alive! HE SIGHS

Oh, Kav!

Lia's gone in the ambulance with Kav. They said it's touch and go.

Really?

I was about to do a full search of the premises, OK?

Well, knowing you, Joe, you'd pick the wrong hotel.

Knowing you...

Ellie. I can't believe it.

Frank thought it was you for a while. SHE CHUCKLES

What, me?

HE SIGHS

You weren't the main suspect.

But I was on your list.

Yes. Mm.

You actually wanted me to be guilty, didn't you?

Why would I want that? I don't know, Frank. You tell me.

Go after her. Oh, what have I done?

Oops. MAN CLEARS HIS THROAT

LU GASPS Sebastian!

"My heart leaps to behold your face again,

"thus long sunder'd from mine eyes!"

SHE LAUGHS You're here!

Why are you not in LA?Oh, you know, I had a few days off filming.

And you just thought you'd come and see us! Awww!

Nice view.

Annie... Why did you want me to be a kidnapper?

HE SIGHS

Look, since you got here yesterday, things have been...

...different.

When you said you were falling for me... I was shocked.

Hang on a minute. You invited me to this wedding.

Because I thought it would be fun. SHE SIGHS

I just assumed that it meant... What?

Oh, come on, Frank, we're not spring chickens any more, are we, hm?

SHE SIGHS

This is what Kav gave me, OK?

It's his honeymoon resort in Corsica. It looks perfect.

- What, for our honeymoon? - No, forour... our five-month anniversary.

Look, I know you said just keep it casual,

- but I thought you'd changed your mind. - I haven't.

So... let me get this right.

So you were... you were basically just looking for an excuse

to break up with me. I wasn't actively looking.

But... when the chance came, I suppose I...

Spit it out, Frank. ...took it.

I never meant to hurt you.

I'm such an idiot.

I honestly thought you were the perfect man.

It's just too fast for me.

See you around, Frank.

HE SIGHS

Aww! I've missed you! I know, me, too.

Luella.

My gosh, you really have changed!

The hair, the dress, the car.

Yeah, it's all down to Cassius.

Bea, er, told me your Singapore news.

Oh, yeah. It's amazing, isn't it?

Mm! And about what Frank heard Cassius say.

That's not why you're here, is it?

I think Bea's worried about you.

And so is Frank.

No, Frank's just worried about the business

and maybe even a bit jealous.

Honestly, I don't believe a word he said.

Lu, I'm...

I'm worried about you, too.

Is it possible any part of you knows what Frank said is true

and that Cassius isn't quite who you want him to be,

who you deserve him to be?

I mean, have you met any of his friends?

It's just this is a massive step.

I know. I know it is.

Sorry, Sebastian, I don't appreciate this intervention.

At least ask him if he's having a leaving do.

We'll have the best view in Singapore.

Wow! That is amazing!

So, er... when's your leaving do?

Oh, I don't think I'll have time for one, sadly.

Really?

You don't wanna introduce me to any of your friends?

It'd be great to finally meet them.

OK, I'll, erm... sort out some drinks for next weekend.

- Great. - We'll even get youa new outfit for the occasion.

Another one? Sure.

Wow.

Erm, you know, Frank overheard you last night talking with Ash

about, erm, remodelling me. SHE CHUCKLES

Well, he must have misheard. He was, er, quite drunk.

Yeah.

But you have sort of changed me.

Oh, I've smoothed out a couple of edges, that's all.

Yeah.

So you didn't say my previous life was turgid?

What? Oh, no!

No. Sorry. It's just with the etiquette school and...

Oh, well, yes, but that was... I just...

I started to worry that maybe... maybe you were ashamed of me.

Ashamed? Oh, no. Not at all.

Especially after all the work we've done realising your potential.

I do feel different.

And part of me doesn't like who I was before.

Well, that's a good thing. You were a rough diamond

and now you positively shine.

Erm... Cassius,

am I some kind of experiment for you?

No!

How can you even ask that? I mean, Luella...

...I love you.

And I hope that you feel the same about me.

Yeah, I think I do. Good.

Great.

But if you love me, why do you want me to change?

Because before you looked ridiculous and now you look stunning.

Honestly, Luella, you should be thanking me.

I don't even like the name Luella.

Well, Lu does sounds like a toilet, so...

Oh, no. What?

Ohh...

I...I really wanted this to be real.

I wanted it so much.

It is, Luella. Trust me. No.

You don't love me. Not the real me.

Not the bright, colourful, slightly ridiculous me.

You don't. But do you know what?

I do.

I do, actually, and, erm, and that's why this, this is never gonna work.

- Luella, you don't even know what you're saying. - No, I do.

Bye, Cassius.

Lu?

I broke up with Cassius. What?

You were right, Frank. He is, he's a controlling narcissist

with really lovely teeth. SHE SOBS

HE SIGHS

Well, I'm single now, as well. Me and Annie broke up.

No! Oh, Frank, that's really sad. SHE SOBS

No, no. I mean, it's a relief, really.

I mean, what kind of woman plans a five-month anniversary holiday?

One that doesn't know you very well? Exactly.

Do you, er, do you want a hanky? No, it's manky.

My hanky? It's rank, Frank.

But thank you.

What's happened? Oh, erm...

...me and Cassius are no more.

Ohhh, no. I'm so sorry!

It's all right, you don't have to pretend.

I honestly thought you'd been body-snatched, Lu.

Frank's single, too. Yes, he told me.

Is that because of my big mouth? I feel terrible, Frank.

No, no, it's fine. It's probably for the best.

Oh, Kav!

Oh, I'm sorry, everyone. It's been a rubbish day.

Oh! THEY LAUGH

Come on, you, you need a sleep. Yeah, I need my rest

cos I've got a big day tomorrow.

Oh, I was so worried about you.

I love you, baby. I love you, too!

Shh, shh, shh. Everyone, she's just on her way.

How you doing?

- Hey, bro. - Is she coming? - Yeah, she's just on her way.

Oh, you look dapper. Have you been drinking?

- No, I haven't been drinking. I have. - Not today.

GENTLE MUSIC PLAYS

? If I was the answer

? To all that you wanted

? Well, that would be all I need

? If we never finished

? The things that we started

? Oh, that would be fine by me

? Cos I don't feel tired

? The way that I used to

? You slowed it all down like you do

? I never mind

? The breaks in my patterns

? Cos I would spend...

Ladies and Gentlemen, please be upstanding for the happy couple.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

How come you didn't do the announcement?

He's a famous actor, apparently, and I'm just too nervous about my speech.

To the bride and groom!

ALL: To the bride and groom!

CHEERING

And to you three for being wonderful.

Cheers.

So... Hm? Are you really a film star, then?

Well, I am in a film with stars. Yeah.

But I'm wearing a full-body lycra bodysuit.

Yeah, he's a CGI badger.

LIA:I'm sorry about Cassius.

Yeah, so am I.

You know, he was clever, attractive, rich.

But there is more to love than just that.

Is there? Yes!

That's what you and Kav have got. Aww.

And you and me. Oh, I love you, sis.

Mwah! I love you, too.

FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS

Ohh, I want your film to smash it, but I also want you to come home!

Oh, oh, oh, I will be back soon enough.

In the meantime, you just enjoy the best job in the world.

Apart from acting, of course. Oh, yes.

Ah, thank you!

Aww, we met because of a wedding, didn't we?

We did. I thought you were a bimbo.

I thought you were a miserable sod. HE CHUCKLES

Oh, it's good to have you back, Luella.

It's good to be back.

He really had me thinking I needed to change.

Turns out I'm pretty great as I am. You are!

I mean, you could get a round in more often maybe, but, yeah.

I don't think I'm ever gonna meet Mr Perfect.

- At least I've got you, Frank. - Well,I'm pretty close to perfect.- Mm.

SHE CHUCKLES

Shakespeare and Hathaway. Cheers.

I've been thinking, you know, we could change the company name

to Hathaway and Shakespeare. Why?

Why would we do that? It's got a nice ring to it.

No, it really hasn't. I'm just mixing things up a bit.

It doesn't even trip off the tongue. Well, it was worth a try.

I'm the one that runs the most.

- Yeah, but I get the jobs cos I'm so good-looking. - I drive.

Well, yeah, that's, yeah, I suppose you do.

I mean, you don't drive very well, but...

SHE LAUGHS

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