Original subtitles

[sighs]

[dramatic music] - I'm here!

It's my goal here!

[dramatic music]

- Now, that's why I'm still here, man.

- So I spooked three deer, and I lost track of them.

- It is a depressive state of mind to not be able to feed yourself.

- Look at the snow comer.

- Today is the day it feels like the season started.

- It's a dreamy. I'm officially tapping out.

It's not being out here and surviving.

It's being out here and surviving alone.

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music]

- For the first time ever on a loan, ten past participants return.

[dramatic music]

- They come back with one goal, redemption.

- I've deserved to be here, and I'm back.

- I want to win more this time than I did last time.

- Now we fresh hell awaits.

The cold is an incredibly strong punch in the

face in the punishing wilderness of Mongolia.

- We're in the middle of nowhere.

- Mongolia is a very unforgiving land.

- They must survive in complete isolation.

And during as long as they can, I wish can a push

and push and push, tell there's nothing left.

The last one standing wins.

It's day 62,400 and 12.

I died last night for the third time.

But the old ticker just keeps starting back up again.

I think they've forgotten about me.

Ugh.

Ugh.

Make that four times.

At this point, I'm already burning a lot of calories.

I've already used a lot of my resources.

It makes working a little bit harder.

I get exhausted quicker.

I take everything in a slow measured pace.

And I just have to make sure I preserve myself first and foremost.

I remember that from Patagonia.

Today was definitely the coldest morning yet.

I peaked out the door and there was snow on the ground.

It's melted since I first peaked out.

Seeing that snow really wanted to make me start working on my sled.

My thoughts are that when there's a snowfall or when you sort of ice accumulation,

they'll be able to stack my firewood on this sled and pull it around and

not have to worry about carrying a weight on my shoulder the whole time.

And I think I'll work on that today because I don't want it to get to be

where there's all of a sudden there's snow and ice and I haven't finished it.

And I want to be ahead of the game.

It'll be the worst winter that probably any of us have ever experienced.

If you're not a resourceful and creative, Mongolia would definitely take you out.

I've got people to provide for and I'm not ready to go home.

I found two ponds that were as equal as I

could find and I shaved them all of the bark.

What my plan to do is on the tops of each I want to cut a square notch,

maybe at like one foot intervals and match them up with the other runner.

And then I'll take other pine cross pieces and cut square notches in those,

so they fit down inside of them like puzzle pieces, you know, notch them in.

And then I would lash those most likely using

my trapping wire to get it really, really tight.

I'll scare you please to start sign.

I've got my family who's nice and warm and fed right now.

One time, I made a big box and I put it on a skis.

So I would put Campbell in that, put something soft down from the sit-on,

cover him up in some blankets and he's all geared up nice and warm.

And I'd get the dog and I'd pull him through the woods and there'd be a little spot.

We'd get out and we'd eat our snack and our lunch and

we'd walk around and play with the dog for a little while

and then I'd get him back in and pull him the rest of the route.

I miss my boy.

So there it is.

It's stable enough.

It's stable enough that, but it moves enough

that it'll like, it'll give going over stuff.

Instead of being like super rigid, totally by design, I do that.

Who knows when I'll get to try it out, but it'll be ready when I want it.

I'll come to a definitive conclusion.

The less fat you have in your body, the tougher it is to sleep.

Because you know the cushion.

Oh my gosh.

I didn't make good enough bed for being skinny.

I'm going to go get some water and heat it up and have some tea.

So I'm in struggling today.

Just as far as the hunger aspect.

Lately, I'm having no luck whatsoever.

At the beginning, I was eating well, you know, at two meals a day, if not more.

And then bam, food resources to stop.

Fish just died out, grouse just sort of disappeared.

So I was feeling my teeth move around today in my mouth.

I don't like that.

That means I'm missing some serious nutrition.

I don't like that at all.

And I still have a fear from Patagonia.

I have this fear of not understanding what my body's going through, not realizing it.

When I was out there, I didn't get it.

It's dangerous for you to just stay here.

Not until I looked in the mirror to see how skinny I was.

I have to make sure that that doesn't happen again.

So with all the hunting I've been doing, trying to keep my clothes nice and clean.

Hunting sensors are really important for me.

At this point, I need to continue to hunt to the best of my ability.

I clean them and then I'm hanging them in trees and letting them sent out.

Making sure it airs out as much as it can.

I need to sit in for a minute.

Take some rest.

Oh, I didn't know I had it.

What do people get to think of me?

What is my image going to be?

I'm struggling with my ego.

I want people to look at me and look at me in a positive way.

It's tough with this situation right now because I'm hungry.

I'm really hungry and I don't want to be hungry.

I want to really enjoy this full experience.

I want to learn from the land.

But am I learning from not pushing myself?

Oh, my goodness.

What a good start to the day.

Wish every day could be just this nice to start with.

Days like today make me want to go explore.

I want to go to the top of that mountain.

If I was on Vancouver Island, there's no way I'd walk

up to that mountain because there'd be no reason to.

It'd be just an unnecessary expenditure of calories.

But once the food dries up, you've got to do what you've got to do.

A lot of the gyros dead.

Like plants are dying out.

The only thing left really are mice.

They really don't pack a whole lot of punch.

They're pretty small.

They're mostly guts.

That's what I need to do is get this food situation under control.

We are off to walk to the mountain.

That's going to be a hell of a climb right there.

It's a steep, man.

Maybe I'll just switch back a little bit.

It takes so much energy to try and find food in general.

But you still got to get it up and do it.

Because I'm going to stay out and push myself for as long as this is going to last.

There's on the ground.

No crop, just strawberry plants.

Slip a re-slip a re-slip a re-slip a re-slip a re-slip

a re-slip a re-slip a re-slip a re-slip a re-slip.

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunting]

All right, I'm going to keep on keeping on, man.

Looking at the new plants on the ground.

We've got some fire weed up here with some fluff on it.

Too bad there wasn't chan trails or something.

I'd chow on some chan trails.

To me, that those are buckles.

Yep, we're going to go rotten.

They're done.

[grunting]

Only damn, that's what I want to think.

That's right here, it's edible.

These leaves down here.

I've been harvesting plants when I can.

There's just not a lot of them.

It's always a little frustrating, especially

now, when you know you're tired, you're hungry.

It's going to cold up here, so I want to put my gear back on, it's all good.

Those are wolves, man.

We're not that far away.

Holy [bleep] Wolf's got one.

Wolf pieces here.

That's a wolf's got there, there, there, and there.

Jesus, I hope that's okay.

Try not to make any noise.

[music]

Holy [bleep] Wolf's got.

Wolf pieces here.

That's a wolf's got.

Jesus, I hope that's okay.

Try not to make any noise.

The sound of the wolves' hollering makes me

very uncomfortable, but I have to keep moving.

Without food, I'm not going to be able to last as long as I did at Vancouver Island.

I'm going to tell me this, really hungry.

It's a roll of the dice, either travel far and hope you find something

or stay by your shelter, just conserving calories, hoping for a fish or a mouse.

There ain't nothing to eat out here.

Not even nothing, man.

Holy [bleep]

Holy [bleep]

Not on the right side.

Amazing, man.

This is beautiful.

It's a heck of a view, isn't it?

Wow, just wow.

It's all I can say as well.

A lot of emotions up here.

A lot of highs and a lot of lows fall into the air.

I'm feeling a little bit conflicted.

This is a very bittersweet moment.

Better only because I wasn't able to catch

any more food, but extremely, extremely sweet,

because this is just an absolutely beautiful country.

It's also pretty nice for you, but behind me, huh?

I'm so glad I did this.

♪♪

Oh, it's the days gone by.

The days of grouse and fish are plenty.

One fish would rise from the river,

jumped to your hook, and grouse would fly right into your camp.

Two a day at times, the grouse would be the fish sometimes for,

"Oh, those days gone by.

" I sit and think, and weep, of days of old.

Oh, I am hungry.

Was it at my imagination?

Where did all those fish in grouse and squirrels go?

♪♪

I've been hunting deer for long periods of time,

and it's a freaking chess game.

♪♪

Deer is the food that I need to take care of myself.

One large life.

It can be everything.

♪♪

So if I don't fall in my head,

♪♪

to not be able to feed yourself, what a difficult state to be in.

My body doesn't feel right.

I'm getting cramps every day and every night.

I'm depleting my body of nutrient that's needed.

And I gotta figure it out.

I gotta get out of this funk, and I'm definitely feeling it.

What's motivating me?

It's being alive on the land.

It's learning every last, but I can.

And it's being thankful every moment of the day.

But right now, just sitting or starving.

That's not why I'm here.

It's tough to watch and muscles on your body just disappear.

It's difficult.

♪♪ I don't know.

I don't know.

♪♪

There's three elements that, without one of them, there's no life.

Sun, earth, and water.

And right here, I've got this beautiful picture

of the sun just shimmering off the water on the land right on either side of it.

That is life.

Straight and simple.

Life.

Bam.

♪♪

Damn, that's beautiful.

I don't want to starve anymore.

I want to live.

I want to enjoy my life.

I want to be healthy.

I can't allow my body to deteriorate again.

♪♪ Feels right.

Feels very right.

♪♪

♪♪

Look who's here.

The main reason I'm tapping out is I'm taking care of my body.

It's straight and simple.

After Patagonia, my journey was interrupted.

There was like months, three months, where it was difficult to digest food.

That was like, I can push myself too far.

Okay, I gotta be aware of my physical well-being.

I don't want that to happen here.

I want to just sort of walk right into the next step.

And right now, it feels perfect.

Feels good.

♪♪

To completely different tap outs, this one definitely feels better.

It was much nicer to take myself out of the

picture, much easier, much more empowering.

It's not in me to push myself like I didn't Patagon anymore.

That is not in me.

That is not what I want.

I did my best, and I'm proud of everything I've done, and I am happy.

I definitely think this go around has changed me.

I think it's helped me to look at myself in more

of a responsible manner and look at my actions.

With more understanding of, I do have an effect on the world.

♪♪

What do I need to do to make that a positive effect?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

I think this blue night is south,

but I don't feel anything coming through that wall in front of me,

so I'll come in from behind me and through my door.

It's windy and cool outside.

Figured, it's been the day inside.

I'm gonna do, I'm gonna make a really cool Christmas on.

I'm gonna make Christmas or I'm in for a tree.

Damn!

That is going to occupy a lot of time.

I can send people Christmas on a minute, but just carve a bunch of these.

I'll send some of them out for mom, my dad, my cousin.

Kind of neat, 'cause this story behind it.

I like Christmas ornaments that have stories.

My dad now go get the tree, and then my dad was sitting and watching this decorate.

Her mom used to always love to bring out the ornaments.

She was like, "Ooh, Brit, I remember this one from 1988

and says and says and says and says, and she loved on that.

" She sent some of the ornaments to me and her how to put on my tree.

That's pretty neat.

To carry it on.

We have a one Christmas gift on Christmas Eve

tradition, but it's always the same thing.

It's new for Jamis.

There's something to be comfortable in.

So when everybody wakes up on Christmas morning, they have a new pajamas on.

I think about things I want to do to make up for lost time with my wife and son.

They're my driving force at this point.

If I was not here for them, I wouldn't have it in myself to keep doing this.

I think about handing my parents a large check

and telling them, "Thank you for everything.

" I'm dreaming of getting home and just telling them,

"Thank you for how strong they've been and supportive for allowing me to do this

and thanking them for everything that they've done in my absence.

" So here's what I've been carving just while I was talking.

A little ornament to hang.

That's for Campbell.

Good morning, Aaron mouse a tiny bit.

Must be a female mouse, she's pretty smart.

She's just going about her business.

She goes to work, takes her little lunch pill and her little thermos.

Probably has a salad inside of there with a sensible dressing,

probably Italian, comes home, and then it goes to bed.

She's smart, that's why she doesn't get conked on the head by a good fall.

Let's just get up and see what the world has to offer us.

I think I might go fishing for a little bit.

It's gotten colder.

I wonder if the fish will bite more.

The trout's still feeding cold weather.

That's why they're here.

This is weird.

Nothing jumping.

Well, not under the next spot, I guess.

This can't move the fishing turned off that fast.

And if their cold, they think they'd come to the surface

and soak up some of these rays we're getting right now.

Mongolia has just really thrown out the unexpected at me.

I was totally wrong.

I've been wrong about the weather and I've been wrong about the fishing.

What else can I be wrong about?

If the fishing starts to dry up, I'm f*cked.

It's starting to have to be like, I'm going to be nice day.

So I think I'm going to take today and actually make my wooden cup.

It's kind of a big, big old day.

I think so, at least.

It sounds like a little thing.

But like, think of the difference between drinking from a metal can

and drinking from like an insulated mug.

If you're going from, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay.

To like, ah.

So that's the best way I can describe the difference.

Sit down, work a piece of wood, get into it.

Completely forget how hungry you are.

If we're going to get a coal right here and we're going to burn a hole,

always really imperative that you're careful with this activity.

Bad things can happen.

These last few days, I'm feeling a lot of different stuff.

I've gone a few days without pooping at the moment.

And, basically, I just want to get this next bowel movement out at some point,

because you can't go too many days without going to the restroom out here.

Like, if you do, it gets dangerous for your intestines and all that.

I really need a blower stick for this.

Using a little fireblower deal is much safer, because if I have my head down here,

I get burned, and I do not want to go out doing some of that stupid.

Ah, my good cup.

I will drink many a cup of tea with you.

And then, we're going to carve down a handle.

We're going to smooth out the edges and essentially

make it look more like a cup than a block of wood.

This is what I'm going to be drinking out of from now on.

Man, when you're carving, you are in your own little world.

And, absolutely like nothing else matters.

It's funny.

After season three, people who I've never met, they come up to me,

and it's not so much that they act like they know me,

but they want to know me, and they like me already.

And that's really, really cool.

That's very cool.

One guy was funny. This was funny.

I was in the gas station.

My parents were in town, and I went inside to give my mom a lottery ticket.

And there was a guy behind me in line, and he was like,

"Hey, you're the guy from the TV show.

" And I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

" He's like, "Yeah, that was pretty awesome.

I didn't see all of it.

Something was like, "Did you win?

" And then he's like, "Oh, well, I guess you

didn't if you're in your binary lottery ticket.

" And I thought that was so funny.

I was like, "A bite of her, my mom, jerk.

" What I'm eating isn't giving me enough energy to do what I need to do anymore.

And there comes a point where it really, really

escalates into more of a starvation game.

Normally, I'm catching fish with grasshoppers.

But as it's getting colder, and the grasshopper getting harder to find,

then I'm finding I'm going to have to do something different.

And I had an idea to try and make a lure.

It took three of my regular saws hooks that bound them together with my wire.

I don't have an abundant amount of hooks.

And I realized how important and vital they are to like everything that I do.

About an inch up, I took some of my paracord, and

I created it all out and made it like a hula skirt.

So, yeah, I'll go fishing with this one tomorrow.

It's not pretty. It doesn't have to be pretty.

See if this game is made in voyage.

Not too shabby.

Very pleased with it.

I want to stay away from the trees.

There's a huge difference from throwing those grasshoppers.

I'm faking this a little.

That was a stroke.

There we go.

Got one.

Oh, yeah.

Come on.

I just lost my lure.

Damn.

There's a lot of hooks to lose all at once.

Running low.

And that's just unacceptable.

Well, my fishing game just took a significant blow.

I mean, the midst of my old starvation.

So, spoon carving is actually something I teach as a class.

Like a wood carving course for students.

We carved spoons.

It's one of the first things I think you should

learn when it comes to like using a knife.

One of the coolest experiences was right after my first time out on the loan.

I was introduced to these two little girls, Scarlet and Lily.

My daughters of a friend of my wife and they

cried, I guess, when I tapped out last time.

If that's, you know, not a little bit of inspiration for you.

I don't know what is, you know, to keep moving.

Well, I am going to give those two little girls a set of spoons.

I'm going to make two spoons, one to each girl.

Look at Mongolian spoons.

Handcrafted right out here in my little hut.

It looks legendary.

Oh, there's a spoon fit for a king, I tell you.

Time to get things going for the day.

Right now, what I want to do is work on the roof

of my shelter to make sure it's nice and strong.

Because when I have three feet of snowfall, I do not want

a flimsy tart being the only thing holding up the roof.

I need to add some, like, skeletal infrastructure to it.

So that it can take a little bit of weight when the time comes.

Unfortunately, my bowels are still not kicking anything out.

I'm getting worried because I'm having really bad issues with my intestines.

Feels like I've got stomach cramping and abdominal pain.

The rules of this thing are simple.

If you ask for help from the crew, you have tapped out.

They can't come in and give me a laxative and

be like, "There you go, bud. Anything else?

" They absolutely have to either wait for me to tap

out or medically pull me or wait for me to poop.

So that sits real nicely up on there.

I never, in my wildest imagination thought that one poop could get in the way.

My family having a house and a car that doesn't break down, but it just has.

So at the moment, I'm basically finished with this ceiling.

Anytime I'm cutting little thin saplings, and

I get a new one, I can just interweave it in,

and it's just going to get stronger and stronger as we go along.

So I love it. I'm going to keep it this way.

The only thing in my head right now is the fact that if I don't go to the bathroom,

if I don't have a bowel movement, in the next

few days, I'm going to be medically pulled.

And I won't get to win, and I won't get to provide for my family.

I feel like I've put in so much work out here.

I feel like I want to make it along all.

I don't want to have to go home from this empty-handed.

So I am going to eat some dandelions that I have saved.

I just want some coffee.

It's funny I never missed any of this stuff on Vancouver Island.

Mostly I just crave sweets.

I'm craving all the comfort to life now, man, all of them.

I miss the sweet things, you know?

In order to have the sweet, you've got to have the sour.

And the sour isn't as bad as you think, because you've got the sweet.

You've got the sweet in life, man.

Cheers to the sweetness of your family, your close friends, your even your pets.

That's the sweet in life.

The sour is your commute, your bad day at work.

The guy that flips you off, even though you didn't do nothing in them on the freeway.

But the sweet makes the sour bearable.

I think the reason why I get so emotional out here

is there's nobody out here I have to be strong for.

I just have to be strong for myself.

I don't have people looking to me for direction, for it work.

I don't have to be the answer, man.

I don't have to be the man.

I just have to be the man to myself.

And if I feel like breaking down and crying, then that's okay.

If it feels like overwhelming, then it helps me to cry.

When I cry, then I pick myself back up again and try them on.

I'm just okay, you can just let yourself go, man.

It's just you.

Sometimes that's a good feeling.

And then sometimes it's damn nice to have people dependent upon you.

You feel needed and wanted and appreciated.

I love my family and I love my friends.

What more do I need out of this experience that I haven't already gotten?

When you take that buff off, you can see your neck.

You can really see how much weight you lost.

Yeah, I don't quite have the double chin I used to.

There's a little flat hanging on there, but

I think today I will make a stool to sit on.

And maybe that will convince my body to have a stool.

A stool.

So for this joint, I'll wire down through here.

Man, my fingers are getting cold.

It would suck to go home for lack of poop.

That is like the worst way to end a season.

Oh, weren't you on that show along?

Oh, yeah, I was.

Why'd you go home again?

Ah, you know, it's a little fuzzy.

I don't really remember.

Oh, yeah, it's because I couldn't poop.

That's why it was.

Oh, goodness.

I've made some painful decisions for the good of the family.

And this is a choice.

I'm choosing to be out here because I believe

for a lot of reasons that this is actually

what's best for the family.

I've got to say, my emotions have been very,

not good these last few hours of the day.

The big thing that troubled my mind today was, okay, you want to win really bad.

You're going to try really hard.

What if you don't?

That's a tough, tough pill to swallow.

You know, there's certain variables that you can't get through.

And some of them you don't have any control over.

But I don't know if I'm, you know, I don't know if

I'm tough enough to last all these days out here.

You know, I can really feel this adventure drawn to a close.

I can feel it.

It's the same feeling I had last time.

People don't keep, you know.

Everybody's got an expiration date.

I'm just wondering how much longer I can go.

This snow is such a game changer.

This place could snap at any second I could be in a world of hurt.

Look at this, damn near home, hill is overturned.

And I'm extremely close to my shelter.

This time I'm really missing my family.

I want somebody to talk to.

This is terrible.

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