Original subtitles

(bobby) Previously on king of the hill:

You are in public with this little bimbo.

I need you to protect me from miz liz.

. Well, you are having an affair with her husband

I was havin' an affair with my boss.

You're my boss now,

hank. Oh!

I'm not going to let Peggy find out about any of this.

You know what? Debbie is history.

Oh, my god! Debbie. I've gotta stop her.

[Screams]

Debbie? Somebody shot Debbie!

How long does it take Debbie to throw in a load of laundry?

I really need to talk to her.

She should be right up.

Debbie said you were gonna "hey!"

No, we were not.

It was a trick.

Is $300 too much for a hot wheels v.w. Purple evil weevil?

[Sighs]

Yeah, I could use one, too.

Damn. The eBay auction closed.

I lost my weevil.

Dang it. Can I get a light off yours?

Huh, that's a funny-looking cigarette.

You roll it yourself?

[Holding breath] Yeah.

You got a weak flame on this thing.

[Inhales]

[Coughing]

This isn't one of them clove cigarettes, is it?

No, man. That's the chronic from Mexico.

Damn n.a.f.t.a.

It's clearly an inferior tobacco.

So, does your wife party, too?

Party?

Uh, we throw a party for 4th of July and labor day.

No, I mean party.

You know, get high, get stoned.

[Exclaims]

[Woman chattering on police radio]

Mmm-mmm, that barbecue smells yummy, ms. Hill

now, you heard the gunshot at 6:45, was it?

That is correct, sheriff. Mmm-hmm.

And you discovered the body at 6:47?

Most of it, yes.

So let me get this straight.

Debbie was mr. Strickland's mistress.

And her murdered body was found at the same plac

where mr. Strickland and his wife

just got done reconciling their differences.

Uh-huh. My husband han k set that up.

Well, the reconciliation, not... not the murder.

Mmm.

[Retching]

Check you out. What're you doin'?

[Gasps]

I am inducing vomiting.

Dude. You only had one hit

[continues gagging]

Oh, no. My eyes are turnin' bloodshot.

I'm goin' on a trip.

I look like I'm doped out of my gourd.

[Sighs

[dog barking]

[Hank groaning]

I'm too high to drive.

[Panting]

Gotta sleep this off.

[Woman chattering on police radio]

Found this Italian 12-gauge under the body.

Miz liz.

I think I got my first suspect.

I could send that up to Dallas,

have my boys run it for prints.

Oh, who in the hell called in the Texas rangers?

A mrs. Peggy hill, restauranteur.

I love your show! I love that walker!

[Sighs]

[Panting] How long was I sleepin'?

Why... why am I running?

Oh, god! I'm talking to myself.

That's a side effect of the marijuana poisoning

dad! Dad!

The police are lookin' for you!

Oh, no. Debbie's hippie roommate

turned me in for smoking narcotics.

(Peggy) Hank!

[Clears throat]

[Van engine starts]

Debbie's dead? Oh, I was just in her-

I... I mean, I just talked to her, uh, a-at work.

Oh, it was awful. I saw her lying there and... oh, hank.

[Sniffing]

Honey, you reek.

Oh, uh, yeah. Too much time near the, uh, the propane tanks today.

Mr. Hill, I'm Lester Payton with the Texas rangers.

Ah.

Nice to meet you.

[Clearing throat]

Mind if I cut in, Payton?

This is my dance.

Now, mr. Hill, I have some questions.

Uh, I... I... I'm sorry. I lost a close friend and a valued tank-wipe today.

I gotta go home right now.

Peggy, you'll need to drive.

I... I'm in mourning.

That coroner in heimlich county

will get to the bottom of this.

He's a good man. He did the autopsies

on 2 of my gun-club buddies last year.

You, uh, you don't think the police will want to run a drug test

on debbie's coworkers, do you?

Now that you mention it, I am positive they will.

They'll drug-test everyone in arlen.

The price for a bag of clean urine will double.

W-What do you think'll happen to the price of poo-poo?

Unchanged.

[Hank sighs]

Debbie bought those flowers just before she died.

Attention, everybody.

Now that there's no one left at work for my husband to diddle,

I've allowed him to return.

Buck strickland.

[Clapping]

Ah. Thank you.

Now, I ain't a stupid man. I heard the rumors.

I know that I got some fingers a-pointin' at me.

But I'm givin' y'all the buck strickland guarantee

that I didn't kill that pretty girl.

I wanna catch the murderer more than anything.

So, if any of you have information for the police,

why don't you just come see me first?

We can discuss the bes t way of handlin' that.

Back to work, old top.

[Sighs]

All right, ladybird.

I washed this shirt a dozen times.

[Sniffing]

What do you think, girl?

Can you still smell the Mary Jane?

[Sniffing]

Oh, no.

[Birds chirping]

Uncle hank, sheriff mumford is here.

Afternoon, hank. What are you cookin'?

Uh, n-nothing.

Well, my eyesight ain't what it used to be,

but ain't that some kind of smoke comin' out of there?

Um, that's the burgers.

Strange-smellin' burgers.

What kind of herbs you puttin' in there?

Herbs? Oh, god!

That's street talk for marijuana.

You know, hank,

I spent the day gathering evidence

over at the casa Linda singles apartments.

And, well, I just thought you might want to know you are now a suspect...

oh, no!

In the murder of Debbie grund. Oh.

[Tittering] Oh, that.

Oh, god!

Now, this goes without saying, Peggy,

but you know I'm not guilty.

Of course I know you didn't kill anyone

but you know what I do not understand?

The sheriff said that you had a motive

and it concerns your relationship with miz liz.

He kept using that phrase.

"Relationship with miz liz."

"Relationship with miz liz."

Uh, well, he may be referring

to this time I, uh, went out

to a fraudulent propane emergency at mrs. Strickland's,

and, uh, well, she was in a kimono,

and, uh, she wanted me to, uh, service her

[clears throat]

A-accessories, uh, not the propane.

. Oh, okey-dokey

well, now, that makes some sense.

Mrs. Strickland was coming on to you,

so you kill Debbie

buck goes back to miz liz,

and miz liz stops bothering you.

Have you been reading those rabbi mysteries again?

They do hold up.

Now, if I may be an advocate of the devil here,

let's combine your motive

with the fact that you hav e no alibi for 6:45 p.m.

Oh, and the sheriff called earlier.

He said that they found your strickland name patch

in the bushes behind peggy's sugarfoot's.

What? I don't remember losing my "hank" patch.

Well, you didn't lose it.

He said it had been torn off as if in a struggle.

[Hank exclaims]

So, hank, my question to you is:

Why did you not tell me that miz liz made a pass at you?

So, I was wondering if kid s who are hopped up on drugs

could do things they wouldn't remember

when they, you know, hopped back down.

Absolutely, mr. Jones.

So my son,

who'll be attending arlen high in a couple of years,

god willing,

and he could get, uh, bake

and leave his name tag in some bushes somewhere

and then not remember?

Y-yeah. We call that blacking out.

Heck, I was in prison with a guy who was doing life for a murder

he didn't even remember committing. Ok?

So someone could take dope, black out in a field,

and kill a coworker?

Coworker, cab driver, prostitute

it doesn't matter who.

[Grunts]

All right. This is about what Debbie weighed.

Does this seem familiar?

Maybe.

[Car approaching]

(mr. Strickland) Evening, hank.

What are you busying yourself with there?

Uh, just throwin' out some expired sand.

Garbage cans at home are full.

Whatever. We need to talk.

Let's take a ride. Your truck.

Uh, where to, sir?

The quarry.

It's deserted this time of night.

Nobody'll bother us.

Mr. Strickland, sir, I want you to know

that I don't think I killed Debbie.

I cared for that gal, hank

so, if you've taken me out here to kill me in retribution,

I believe that would be premature

I know you fooled around with Debbie, old top.

No, not true. I rebuffed.

But you were angry at her.

Y-yes. Louder.

Yes, I was angry.

Debbie threatened to tell my wife

that we had sexual relations.

Ok, hank. I... I got all I need.

A 12-gauge shell. Oh, my god!

I want you to promise me you won't ever do drugs, bobby.

I promise.

A promise means nothing when a junkie tricks you into smoking a joint

when you think it's a cigarette,

which you shouldn't smoke, either.

Now, promise me, promise me, bobby.

Ok, ok, I promise.

[Sighs]

Promises mean nothing.

Look, dad,

I'm not gonna use drugs because drugs are for losers.

And I'd never wann a disappoint you.

[Sighing] Oh.

Plus, I wanna be the first chubby comic to live past 35.

Afternoon, hank.

Oh. Hi, sheriff.

Uh, any leads on the, uh, murderer

that don't point in my direction?

Ms. Hill, could you excuse us a moment?

I'd like to tell your husband a dirty joke.

Sheriff, if this is about the investigation,

I assure you, you can speak freely.

My husband and I have no secrets between us.

Cigarette?

No, we do not smoke.

That's smart. Filthy habit.

Say, could I trouble you for a light?

Uh, I could look in the house.

Oh, n-never mind. I got this here silver lighter.

Found it in debbie's apartment.

Got the initials "h.r.h." on it.

Say, now, what's your middle name?

Rutherford. Right.

H.r.h.

So, unless his royal highness the prince of wales

stopped by Sunday night for a smoke...

o-ok. The lighter's mine.

It was a gift from mrs. Elizabeth strickland.

I... I know all about miz liz.

As I said, I know everything...

about my husband.

So you know about your husband's relationship with Debbie?

Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm.

What relationship?

I had no relationship with Debbie.

Sheriff?

Uh-huh.

If I may.

(hank) Debbie threatened to tell my wife

that we had sexual relations.

[Tape recorder clicks]

Well, I'm sure you folks have plenty to talk about.

Y'all have a nice day.

I didn't sleep with Debbie

I don't know how my lighter got into her apartment.

And I already told you about bein' in the bathtub with a naked miz liz.

Did you see her breasts?

Hey, charlie man son.

Can I get your autograph

on this sugar foot napkin I pull out of dumpster?

If you murder her, I auction it on eBay for big bucks.

eBay? Wait a minute.

Damn. The eBay auction closed.

I lost my weevil.

[Inhaling]

[Moaning]

[Gagging]

Kahn, you may have just made my autograph worthless.

The auction for that purple weevil wobbler, what time did it close?

6:58 p.m.

Oh, you wanna go in a chat room with gene roddenberry's wife?

Listen to me. Debbie was killed at 6:45.

I didn't inhale until 7:00 at the earliest.

I couldn't have blacked out and killed her. She was already dead.

Yeah, dude.

You were here smokin' pot with me.

[Holding breath] You can tell that to the cops. I'll back you up.

[Car engine starting]

[Door closes]

Leaving the get in, get out so soon, Payton?

I'm sure there's some candy bars you haven't questioned.

You had better take them 3 musketeers into separate rooms.

Maybe one of 'em will crack.

That's a good one, sheriff

how'd hee hawever let you get away?

Mmm-mmm.

Do I smell Peggy hill's old-fashioned buttermilk griddlecakes?

Sheriff, now, I'm sure you did not come all this way

just to smell Peggy hill's old-fashioned buttermilk griddlecakes.

Guilty.

Speaking of which, mr. Hill,

debbie's roommate gale's got an interesting alibi

for the night of the murder.

Says he was with you, sparking up a j.

In English, please?

Lighting up a j.

[Gasping] Getting high? He said that

well, now you have a second crime to investigate, sheriff.

The attempted assassination of my husband's character.

How dare you!

My dad would never use drugs.

I say good day, sheriff.

Mr. Hill?

Uh, the boy's right. I would never smoke pot.

Yeah, yeah, you're as square as a block of wood.

But this gale feller, he's from up north.

Hair down to his butt crack

and a layer of filth that just don't wash off.

Now that I've talked to you, I know he's just a liar who's got no alibi.

They're arresting the murderer on t.v.!

It's a woman!

Who is it?

(Peggy) A woman?

(woman on t.v.) Another arrest at the...

that's not a woman, that's debbie's roommate.

Uh-uh, her name is gale.

I've never had a homicide go unsolved in heimlich county,

and my record stands intact. 2 for 2.

But gale couldn't have done it. He... he was...

he was what, dad?

Uh, n-nothing.

Come on, show peggy's sugarfoot's in the background.

Show peggy's sugarfoot's in the background. Show peggy's sugarfoot's..

Yes!

You know, uh, I'm not so sure this, uh, gale, is it?

I'm just not so sure he's the right guy who did the murder.

Well, now you're just talking crazy, hank.

The sheriff arrested him.

That means he's guilty.

Bill's right.

I should know.

I've served on 4 jurie s and we did our job.

4 convictions.

It is not your job as a juror to just convict.

Is too

[all chattering]

I just wanna say thanks to buck strickland

for throwin' this case-closed dinner.

(man #1) Hear, hear.

The party's also a sendoff to our good friend,

Texas ranger Payton,

Who was unable to solve the crime

[people murmuring]

I hope gale doesn't get off on some pothead technicality,

right, dad?

Well, those technicalities have a name, bobby.

They're called the bill of rights

oh, he's got a right, he's got a right arm

for them to stick the needle in.

(man #2) That'd be good.

All right. All right. That's enough.

Gale did not kill Debbie.

That's right. He's innocent.

And I know that because at the time of the murder,

gale was with me.

We were in debbie's apartment,

and, like he said, we were smoking pot.

[All exclaiming]

? Who are you, hank hill

now... now, it was an accident.

I didn't know it was pot,

and god knows I didn't enjoy it.

But the fact remains, sheriff,

you have the wrong man in your jail.

Then it was buck.

Uh-uh, it wasn't me. I-it was hank.

D-d-didn't you get the tape?

What about that, uh, "hank" name tag I put in the bushes?

It wasn't hank, it was you. No, it wasn't.

Then it was miz liz. No, it wasn't.

All right, fine. It was me.

I'm your man, sheriff.

You got the right to remain silent...

if you people are just about finished,

I'll tell you who killed Debbie.

Debbie's phone record showed she called mr. Hank hill

a short while before her death.

Which means she was home at 6:00 p.m.

Now, what would she have seen

if she looked out her window at 6:00 p.m., hmm?

Normally, she'd see sheriff mumford

stuffing some sugarfoot's ribs into his face.

But on this night, she saw mr. Buck

and miz liz strickland entering the restaurant.

Which, according to the sugarfoot's reservations book,

occurred at...

6:03, mister, and 6:04, missus.

Seeing buck and miz liz back together

must have thrown that pretty little tank-wipe into a jealous rage.

So when she went down to sugarfoot's...

ah! Peggy's sugarfoot's.

At the time it was

yeah.

The point is, she went there to kill buck strickland

with the 12-gauge shotgun he had stashed in her apartment.

So she climbed into the dumpster next to his Cadillac

to lie in wait.

Now, sitting in a dumpster full of half-eaten barbecue can make you hungry.

And sure enough, Debbie went across the street.

To the get in, get out

according to the store security videotape

and a written deposition from a mr. Freddie hakimi,

she purchased a big gulp

and a 99-cent nacho plate.

By buying them together, she saved 23 cents.

My god! That is one heck of a deal

when Debbie returned to the dumpster,

she saw mr. Strickland's car

and assumed he was still there.

What she didn't know was that the stricklands had already left together

in mrs. Strickland's car, having reconciled physically in a storeroom,

and again in the meat locker

and once more in the slop sink.

She had difficulty juggling the 3 items

as she attempted to negotiate her way

back into the dumpster.

She put the gun in first.

She wouldn't let go of that junk food.

And that was the source of her demise.

For as Debbie climbed into that dumpster,

her foot accidentally tripped the hammer on the gun.

[Grunting]

[Gunshot]

So, Debbie grund's killer was Debbie grund.

Oh, buck, I am so relieved.

Well, I thought it was you

yeah, and I would have, too, miz liz.

Yeah, I'd have done it for you.

Course, I thought you did it.

That's why I planted the shotgun shell in hank's truck,

to protect you.

You planted evidence for me?

Yeah.

Oh, sugar foot.

Oh, sweetie.

[Both cooing]

Sorry about that whole frame-up there, Tonto.

I was under a lot of stress.

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, ok.

I guess if my mistress had been murdered

and my wife were a suspect, uh...

yeah.

Well, I guess I let you down, son.

Doin' drugs like that when I've always told you not to.

You know, if I did something like this, you'd punish me.

Maybe I should be able to punish you.

Well, ok, son. What's my punishment?

Am I grounded?

That's too easy.

You cannot mow the lawn for one week.

(hank) Oh, come on, son! It was an accident.

(bobby) You wanna go for 2?

(bobby) I say good day, sheriff.