Original subtitles

Ooh. Hannah's pouring her favorite cereal.

Hannah found a prize at the bottom of her bowl.

And Hannah's excited about her new monkey tattoo!

And Robby Ray is over here doing the dishes,

wondering why we're saying everything that we're doing out loud.

I'm flittering my fans.

They like to know what I'm doing all the time.

And people really care about this stuff?

Yeah.

I mean, personally,

I think it's ridiculous, but... Ooh!

Reese Witherspoon just bought kitty litter.

Well, if you ask me,

flittering's for the birds.

Hey, write that down.

Your daddy just said something really funny.

You bet, Dad.

Doing that right now.

Whoa.

Lilly just flittered,

"G-r-r-r." Wonder what that means.

Grrr!

Don't ask me, ask grrr.

Ask grrr.

Get it? Now that's funny.

You got to write that down.

Lilly, what's wrong?

Of all the cruel,

selfish,

inconsiderate...

Oh no, it's Oliver, isn't it?

What did he do?

I can't believe it!

How could she do this to me?

She?

Oh my gosh. Oliver's in love with someone else?

I'm talking about my mom!

Oliver's in love with your mom?

That is terrible.

It only took me one date with that woman

to realize she's more than a handful.

What are you talking about?

Oh and by the way,

she said the same thing about you,

Mr. "Close the moonroof",

it's blowing my hair all willy-nilly."

Excuse me for wanting to look good for the lady.

So, Lilly, what's wrong?

My mom is the most selfish person in the whole world.

I hear that. Pound it.

Dad.

Fine.

It was a year ago. Get over it.

So what's really wrong?

She got a job!

Okay.

And they're giving her great benefits

and wonderful opportunities for advancement.

Then what's the problem?

It's in Atlanta.

You're moving?

You're moving to Atlanta?

I can't have my BFF in the ATL! OMG!

I know.

It's going to be TTFG.

That's "Ta ta for good."

Oh.

Hey, well, what about your dad?

He just lives an hour away.

Can't you move in with him?

Oh.

Dad, no.

Then-Then she'd have to go to a different school.

Look,

it's great that you're trying to help, but, you know,

the best help right now would just be,

uh, making us sandwiches and getting us a beverage.

Got it. Hey, pound it.

Pound it.

What? I just like doing that.

Hey, wait. Well, I mean maybe your dad's right.

I mean, that way, you know,

I could still date Oliver and

see you once in a while.

I can't believe this is happening.

Can't believe what's happening?

You haven't told him yet?

Told me what?

I didn't know what to say.

Oh no. You're breaking up with me?

Oliver...

Oh! Here it comes.

The old "It's not you, it's me",

"and we'll always be friends" speech.

Oliver...

Oh it's Gabe LaMottie, isn't it?

I knew it.

Well, you know what?

You're making the biggest mistake of your life.

I mean, I know he's got a swimmer's body,

but, uh, with this new do,

I've got the best hair in Malibu.

All right, second best.

Oliver!

I love you, Lilly.

Please don't break up with me.

Oliver, I'm not breaking up with you!

What?

My mom got a job in Atlanta

and the only way I can stay near you guys

is if I move in with my dad.

Oh.

But that's like an hour away.

Lilly, I'll never get to see you.

Oh please don't go.

Wait! I got it.

The perfect way for y'all to stay together.

I mean,

as long as Lilly's parents are cool with it.

- I mean. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

I am, uh,

I'm way too young to get married.

You know, I've got, uh,

I've got my whole life ahead of me.

Is it hot in here because I can't breathe.

I was talking about Lilly moving in with me!

Oh yeah,

I knew that.

I was-I was just messing with you, Lilly-pop.

- I'm going to get you some flowers. - Yeah,

it's going to take a lot more than flowers, buddy.

Yes, dear.

Are you serious?

You really want me to move in with you?

Are you kidding?

Of course!

We both do. Right, Dad?

Absolutely.

You're family.

Yeah! See?

Everybody's happy.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Well, everybody that counts.

What are you thinking?

If you let her live here,

there will be two of them!

Two! Dos! Deux!

Jackson, calm down. Calm down?

Calm...

They've already taken the couch! Quick!

Set up a blockade in the kitchen!

I'll take the staircase!

If we deny them food and sleep,

victory can still be ours!

No, son.

We're not turning our back on Lilly.

Now if her folks say she can stay,

then that's that. She's staying.

Fine! Fine.

But be warned, Lilly.

I was here first and

I'm not going to change my behavior.

Not even one little bit.

If you want to be treated like family,

then family you shall be.

Congratulations. You're a Stewart.

Hey, Rico.

Could I get a water, please?

Let me guess: You killed a vampire horse

with these and then you stole his shoes.

These happen to be the tools of the trade at the

most competitive sport in the history of man.

I'm talking horseshoe pitching.

If pitching horseshoes is a sport,

fluffing pillows should be in the Olympics.

Oh really.

You think that was easy?

Perhaps I was being too subtle with my humor. Yes.

Let's see you do it, big guy.

Fine.

It's nothing but basic physics.

Distance, velocity, arc,

factor in gravity and observe.

Hey!

Who threw this?

Hey, Mr. Stewart!

He found your horseshoe!

Uh...

You wouldn't happen to be a Hannah Montana fan, would you?

Well, y-yes I am.

Uh, great.

Maybe I can help you with some tickets.

Hello.

Oh sweet niblets. What are you doing?

Well,

things are about to get more crowded around here with

four people living here,

so might as well get used to it.

I got news for you son. This ain't going to work.

I've already talked to Lilly's mom

and it's fine.

She's staying.

Oh yeah, I-I know-I know.

And I'm fine with it because, uh,

I don't have personal space issues.

What about you, big guy?

Are you going to be fine with it?

Yeah, I'm fine with it.

Looks like Lilly being here is already bringing us closer.

Oh. This close?

You like it this close?

Hey, I just took my mom to the airport...

Aw.

Did somebody get a boo-boo and need a hug from their daddy?

You see that? See,

she's starting with me,

but once she gets a little more comfortable,

she's going to come after you.

And then there'll be no one left

to hear the sounds of your hideous screams.

They're everywhere!

They're like locusts with lip gloss!

Wow,

Jackson seems really miserable about this. Bonus!

Can you believe it?

We're actually going to be roomies!

I know!

And I have a surprise for you.

Come on.

Roomies, roomies, roomies.

Roomies, roomies, roomies.

Roomies, roomies, roomies.

Get used to that, my friend.

Because that is the soundtrack to

the rest of your miserable life!

Roomies, roomies, roomies.

Roomies, roomies, roomies.

I cleaned out two drawers for you.

You're the best.

But I, uh,

I might need like a smidge more.

So what exactly does the word

"smidge" mean on your planet?

Well, I only brought what I absolutely couldn't live without.

Oh.

Where do you want this?

Oh, uh,

I thought Ollie-pop would look nice in the living room.

Where do you want this?

In here?

Good choice.

This is going to be so much fun! Hey.

Hey, look, even Mr. Squeakers is excited.

How can you tell?

Well, just listen to him.

Yippy! Yippy!

Yip-yip yippy!

Lilly.

In my room,

where you live now,

hamsters don't talk.

Hey. Don't talk to me, talk to Mr...

Lilly. Okay.

No, no. We can go surfing if you want to.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Any time's fine with me.

Really, that early?

Oh yeah, yeah, that's better.

Yeah, yeah.

We can surf and-and then have breakfast.

No, it doesn't matter, anything's fine with me.

Really,

pancakes?

Got to go, bye.

Lilly? Lil-Lilly?

Stomach.

Back. Side.

Pick one! Okay.

Please, stop. Please, stop. Please, stop.

Thank you.

Where do you put it all?

Asked and answered.

Hey there, traitor to all men.

What's for breakfast?

Eggs Benedict Arnold?

Can't you see your sister's sleeping?

Oh I'm sorry.

I'll just...

Whoa. Whoa.

I'm losing my balance.

Oh!

Oh.

I'm sorry. Did I wake you?

You are a jerk.

Yeah, I am!

What happened?

Yes, do tell.

Nothing happened.

We were having a great time sharing

our room until I realized I needed

to come down here and get some rest

for more future fun as life with Lilly continues.

Ah.

That's a touching story.

Too bad it's nothing but a pack of lies!

Quick, tell me the truth. What happened?

Boxes everywhere,

Ollie-pop on the phone for hours,

and that darn hamster squeaking

and drinking and peeing and squeaking and drinking and peeing.

And that is why it was a perfectly delightful evening.

Nice try,

but I've trained myself in the ancient art of lip reading.

Now all I have to do is figure out what "bleaking,"

"minking" and "peezing" mean.

Good morning, new family!

Morning breath.

Not even that can spoil my mood.

I slept great!

Yay!

Well, I'm going to head off to the beach with my guy,

which is right outside my new house!

I love this!

Okay,

I will see "y'all" later!

Look at that,

one night and I'm already talking Southern.

Yeah, that'll be-that'll be fun! Have a great time!

Dad, go get the suitcases,

we're moving.

Come on, darlin',

you can't expect it to be perfect right off the bat.

She's only been here one night.

And look at me.

How am I going to do that CD signing with this crick in my neck?

Dad, look,

if I knew life with Lilly was going to make me this miserable,

I wouldn't have invited her to live with us.

But now I'm stuck with her.

Well, well, well.

Looky here what I found.

Thanks a lot.

My brand new kite!

Oh suck it up, kid.

Life's full of disappointments.

Looks to me like somebody's been bit by the horseshoe bug.

I don't get it!

I mastered chess in a week,

I learned the violin in an afternoon,

but your crazy cowboy carnival game has broken me!

You need a little help, Rico?

Yes, please.

Let me tell you something, son.

You're going about this all wrong.

Throwing horseshoes is not about calculations.

It's about finding that place inside yourself

that makes you feel right with the world.

For Robby Ray,

it's that little creek back home in Tennessee.

My old dog, Jake,

laying there licking the gnats off his belly.

Horses are running through the pasture.

Oh yeah.

Bam.

So that's it?

All I have to do is find my happy place?

If you got one.

Yeah.

Who's your daddy?

That's not going to make me go any faster.

It also takes years and years of practice.

Bam!

I have never been so tired.

Miley,

I heard what you said.

So congratulations,

you're not stuck with me anymore.

And voilà ,

instant privacy for the princess of the castle.

Now you see me and now you...

Still see me.

This is why I got kicked out of junior high magic club.

It's okay, Dad.

I mean,

I'm-I'm really looking forward to living here.

See?

Tears of joy.

Don't worry, Lilly-bear,

it'll be okay.

Yeah, yeah.

My-My life is just getting better and better. Right?

No best friend, no beach,

and now my bedroom wall is crumpled on the floor.

Okay. I-I promise,

this is just temporary.

I-I will find us a better place to live, but,

uh,

right now I got to get back to the office,

- so we'll talk more when I get there. - Okay.

So, where were we?

- Oh that's my girl! - Thanks, Dad.

Oh, uh, honey, please,

- not in the office. - Oh. Okay.

Oh. I hope that's the new phone book.

I have a quarter page ad.

Hey, Mr. Truscott, can I talk to Lilly?

I have nothing to say to her!

- I understand completely. - Thank you.

Come on in.

Dad!

Well, look, whatever happened,

you guys have got to talk about it.

So just, you know,

go ahead and, uh,

I'll be in Lilly's room.

This will work better when the curtain's up.

Lilly,

I'm sorry I said that stuff about you.

Please come back.

Forget it.

It's going to take a lot more

than some lame apology for me to leave all of this.

Really?

Why do you even want me back?

I mean, I obviously make you miserable.

I didn't mean it.

Then why did you say it?

Were you just-Were you just chatting

with your dad and there was this moment

of silence and you thought "Oh!"

Oh I know what I'll fill it with!

Something cruel and vicious that

"will break my best friend's heart!"

Listen,

it would only be cruel and vicious if I said it to your face.

And in my defense,

I thought your face was halfway to the beach!

Well, my face came back for sunscreen

and it brought my ears with it!

Uh, sorry.

I, uh,

I got to get that.

It's a-It's a business call.

Oh.

Truscott and Associates,

Certified Public Accountants. Margaret speaking.

You have to look successful to be successful.

Thank you, Margaret!

Ken Truscott here.

Oh. Oh, hey, Charlie.

Hang on.

I'm going to take this in the conference room.

Next time you have a problem with me,

you should just come talk to me about it

instead of going behind my back.

All right, fine.

I can't stand your midnight mush talk with Oliver,

your leaky, squeaky hamster,

and the fact that you run away every time

you hear something that I only say because I'm tired and cranky.

And last night was kind of miserable,

but I was ten times more miserable when I came home today

and saw that my best friend in the world was gone.

Aw.

That's beautiful.

Dad, are you crying in there?

No, it's me, Margaret!

Margaret, get a hold of yourself.

So, uh,

you really want me back?

Yeah.

But what happens the next time one of us

says something to make the other mad?

We talk about it and we work it out.

Just like family.

My house is your house now and nobody's leaving.

Charlie, I'm going to have to call you back.

My secretary's an emotional wreck.

These are for Margaret.

Jackson! Not funny!

Funny for me!

That's right, your tiny female brains are no match for Jackson Rod Stewart!

I didn't lock the deck doors, did I?

Nope.

Well, it's a good thing I have one of these.

Ah!

And Dad said you can't learn anything from cartoons.

Roomies, roomies, roomies.

Roomies, roomies, roomies.