Original subtitles

You-You certainly brung it, dawg.

I just wish you would've left it at home.

Byron?

Well, Andy, as my dear mom always said,

"If you can't say anything nice,

don't say anything at all."

Uh, yo, H.M., so, uh, what does our guest

judge have to say?

I love your shoes.

Oh, really, Hannah, love,

just because you're filling in for Kara doesn't mean you have

to be as boring as she is.

Just kidding, Kara.

Not really.

Why are you still here?

America's Top Talent will be right back

with our next contestant,

Oliver Oken!

And we're back in thirty, people!

Surprise!

How could you guys not tell me?

Well, because we knew you'd say Oliver

couldn't be on the show.

And you were right!

Great, so we're all on the same page.

What page?

The page just before you forgive me because he's

going to be really, really good,

and you're going to see there was nothing to worry

about after all, and if I'm really lucky right now

the announcer's voice is going to say...

And we're back in ten!

Thank you. Bye!

Hey, you know what?

One of these days you are going to run out of breath

and then I'm going to come up with my own run-on

sentence without any periods,

commas, or punctuation whatsoever!

And now back to America's Top Talent!

So, my man, in honor of our guest judge here,

which Hannah song are you going to drop on us tonight?

The brilliant, "Let's Do This."

Uh, of course, all of her songs are brilliant because

she's such a great artist.

And, uh, so I hear,

kind, and

caring, and

forgiving.

And hates surprises.

Just in case you were wondering.

Do you know what I was wondering?

If you're going to sing before Andy's

head starts sprouting stubble.

You know what I can't resist?

Telling you you have talent.

Good job.

Whoo! Way to go, Oliver!

Oken.

Oliver Oken.

Yeah, yeah.

Never heard that name before.

Very interesting.

Actually, it's my first Oken.

Kind of like token Oken.

You know,

for just hearing this name the first time today,

I think that's pretty darn clever.

Okay.

Byron?

Well, Mr. Oken, uh,

I have to say I find myself completely appalled...

by how much I liked that. Well done.

Well done? He was fantastic!

He is so much better than you were at that--

The beginning of the song.

Where I thought you were just a little pitchy.

But,

good job, Otto.

See, I don't even know his name.

Because I've never met him before.

Is it commercial yet?

Whoo, baby.

Now, that is what I call a state of the art

nose-hair trimmer.

Listen to that power!

Stubborn nose hairs, you are

about to be cut down to size!

Oh boy.

Hey, Dad.

Um,

have-have you ever been in a-a-a situation

where you're kind of stuck and you don't know what

to do or say next?

Uh, nope. No idea what you're talking about.

Got to go, bye.

D-Dad, I-I just got a traffic ticket!

You what?

Oh no, Dad, not again!

I have very manly nose hairs.

Ow!

I get it from your Aunt Pearl.

Jackson Rod Stewart, how could you?

Uh, Dad, I-

I swear, I made a totally complete..

.ish stop.

And-And-And in my defense,

I had a hundred percent visibility

and there wasn't anybody within blocks of me.

Except for the cop!

Who-Who was hiding

and I'm not even sure if that's legal...

ish.

I don't want to hear any excuses.

You broke the law and that's why you got a ticket

for three-hundred-and-twenty-five dollars?

I know! It's outrageous!

I wouldn't pay it if I were you.

Oh, I'm not going to pay it. You are.

Where am I going to get

three-hundred-and-twenty-five dollars?

I don't work for Rico anymore.

Oh no,

you wouldn't. Not--

Come on, Dad. Ow. What's the big deal?

Three-hundred-and-twenty-five bucks,

that's the big deal!

Have fun cleaning,

law-breaker.

Was that a bat?

Not the neck! Not the neck!

Hello!

I brought a little BM for my BFF.

Please tell me that's a blueberry muffin.

Of course it is.

What did-What did you think--

Oh.

So, uh,

we just wanted to make sure that you were, you know--

Not mad?

Yeah.

I told you guys that last night. I mean,

sure, it's a little bit awkward,

but as long as y'all understand that our friendship

can't influence the way that I vote, I'm cool with it.

Absolutely.

Right, I mean, we wouldn't want it any other way.

Uh, unless,

you know, it's right on the line.

Could go either way.

Speaking of either way,

go that way.

Right.

You know, he didn't really mean that. I mean,

he'd never want you to play favorites because

that's the kind of friend he is.

A good friend, a best friend,

a friend who would never let you down.

Oh, cool.

For a minute there I thought you were going

to pressure me or something.

I'm sorry. I just really want him to win.

And he will if he's the best.

You know, I'm just so surprised that you're on

board with this, I mean,

considering how it could affect your relationship.

Our relationship? What do you mean?

listen I-I've got to get to class,

Can you sing one more time? Can you sing for us once please?

Okay, all right, just this once.

Uh-huh, uh-huh

Okay, I-I know what you're thinking,

okay? But my Ollie-pop and I have a very strong,

trusting relationship and I'm totally not worried. I mean-

I mean just because girls are going to be

all over him doesn't mean he's going to be affected by it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Be patient, babe, okay? I'll get to you next, babe.

Are you're sure that you're okay with this?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I mean,

he's just having fun with

all the new attention. I mean,

it's not like he's treating me any different.

Hey, uh-- Hey, babe?

Fans want to take pictures of me by the ocean.

So, uh,

I'll call you, babe.

To the beach!

He called me babe.

Twice!

Ow, ow, ow!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I-I was just trying to rub it in.

To what? My bones?

Miley, what am I going to do?

That show's turning my Ollie-pop star

into an Ollie-poop star.

Okay, I know we agreed that we'd

never say "I told you so."

So I'm going to text you, okay?

Miley.

What? I'm just so fast.

Look, if I could just, you know,

boot him off, I would.

Why can't you?

As soon as he doesn't do a good job,

I'm going to drop kick his babe-calling butt

right out of the studio.

But, wait, what if he keeps being good?

Oh, come on, Lilly. Let's not

dwell on the positive.

Two waters.

So, you'd vote for him again even after

the way he's treating me?

Well, I'd have to.

I mean,

I couldn't say that he was bad if he wasn't.

I mean, we all agreed that I'd vote my conscience.

Do you have that in writing?

Lilly!

Well, what's more important?

I mean your conscience or my happiness?

Well,

that's not really fair because technically

it's not my conscience, it's Hannah Montana's.

And, you know, that has to do with, you know,

all corporate things. You know

contracts, legal stuff,

yadda yadda yadda,

very complicated.

Well, I'll tell you something that's not complicated.

A friend would vote Oliver off

and if you can't do that for me,

well, then I guess we're not as close as I thought.

Oh come on, Lilly,

you can't be that mad!

Ooh,

she really is that mad.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Stop tickling, Babe Two. And hey,

no pushing, Babe Six.

Someone may trip

and we don't need another sprained babe.

Excuse me! Excuse me, coming through!

Long-time friend. Knew him before his voice changed!

Oliver, I need to talk to you.

What? Miley, I, uh, I'm kind of busy right now.

Give me your gum.

Why?

Just do it.

Hey, guys!

Who wants fresh Ollie gum? Fetch!

And now you're free.

Man, look at that.

I mean, they can't get enough of me.

Oh my gosh, my locker.

They like me.

They really like me.

Yeah sure.

They like you, but

what about Lilly?

I know, she's been acting kind of weird lately.

She's been weird?

Yeah, and it's kind of been harshing my mood.

I'm going to harsh more than your mood.

Now listen to me, Oliver Oken--

Give it to me, it's mine! No, you give it to me!

It's my gum!

I saw it first, okay?

I am Babe Number Two,

you're Babe Number Six!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Smokin' Oken can chew some more.

Hey, Miley, the fans are calling,

so, uh,

I'll see you later.

Thanks for trying.

Oh.

I've lost my Ollie-pop, haven't I?

Not if I have anything to do with it.

Smokin' Oken

is about to be broken.

Let's go, babe.

One stupid mistake and it's

"off to the attic, boy!"

He wouldn't send Miley to the attic.

Oh no, she's got the pressures of the "pop star life."

Would I be up here

if my juggling career had taken off?

I think not!

Of course I'm no good.

I never get a chance to practice!

Because I'm always being punished!

Jackson Rod Stewart!

It wasn't me!

It was a young boy with three balls and a dream.

And I'm a father with a scab

in my nose and another ticket in my hand!

Another ticket?

Th-There's no way! Nobody pulled me over.

I bet it's a setup.

Or-Or some

vast international conspiracy that I only have

twenty-four hours to figure out!

I've got to go!

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

Jackson.

We have no time!

It's one of those red light photo tickets.

And it shows clear as day that--

I've been way too hard on you.

What?

Yeah, I mean, uh,

a very wise man once wrote,

"Everybody makes mistakes,

everybody has those days."

Now come on, now,

let's just go down to the kitchen,

bake some brownies and wrassle,

like old times. Come on!

Let me see the ticket, Dad.

Why dwell on the past?

Hey,

brownies ain't going to make themselves.

Robby Ray Stewart!

In my defense, that was the fastest yellow light

in the history of time,

and possibly a glitch in that whole

space-time matrix thing.

Or?

Uh, I

broke the law and I need to

face the consequences.

Which means?

Uh, I'm probably going to need to go to traffic school and

pay a hefty fine.

And...

Have fun, Pops.

Hey, boys, fresh blood!

Ow!

Not the neck! Not the neck! Okay, the neck, but not the hair!

You loved him last week,

will you love him again?

Oliver Oken!

Love? I love puppies

and I love chocolate cake,

but this guy? Please.

Right, dawg?

Don't "dawg" me while dawg's singing, dawg.

Remember, for Oliver to move into the semis,

all three judges must vote "yes."

Dude, you are what this show is all about.

Finding talent and giving it that once in a lifetime

chance to be a star. Good job.

Thank you.

Well,

"once in a lifetime", I mean that is

a little dramatic, don't you think? I mean,

I'm sure if this doesn't work out,

there'll be plenty more opportunities.

And, besides, I mean, it only takes

one of us to vote him off.

So, whatever happens

happens.

Byron, you hate everybody.

Do your thing.

Yeah, I do hate everyone.

But not him.

I love everything about you.

Except your skinny jeans.

I'm chafing just looking at you.

But to deny you your well-earned

spot in the semifinals

for something that has absolutely nothing to do with your

talent would be-- Well,

even I wouldn't be that cruel.

So, it's up to you, H.M.

Send Mr. Oken on...

Or put an end to his career right here,

right now.

You did great.

Welcome to Hollywood.

Congratulations.

You were so amazing.

Oh, thank you very, very much.

Oh, you guys are great. Oh, hold on two seconds. Two seconds.

Sorry, guys.

Hey, hey!

I made it to the semis, how cool is that?

Yeah,

congratulations.

Hope you're happy.

Of course I'm happy.

I mean, isn't that what it's all about?

Winning?

Not if it means losing the most

important people in your life.

What are you talking about?

Look around you.

Oliver, what's missing?

An agent.

Miley, Miley.

Lilly left.

But what's it matter?

You made it to the semis.

Babe.

Hey.

Hey.

I'm so sorry, Lilly, it's just-- I know, I know, you had to.

He was wonderful.

Curse you, gods of talent!

Look,

honey, this wouldn't have happened if you would have

picked a boyfriend with no ambition, no goals,

a total deadbeat.

What were you thinking?

Well, he was a deadbeat when I met him.

Men.

I know.

You think you know them and then all of a

sudden they want to

do something with their lives.

It's ridiculous.

What?

And then there's Jackson.

Like-Like you've never seen a guy with

one of these hanging out his nose before?

Because apparently in this house

it happens all the time!

Well,

that's it. I guess I don't have a boyfriend anymore.

Oh, come on, Lilly.

You don't need him.

He doesn't deserve you.

You're right.

Yeah, I don't need him. In fact,

I'm better off without him!

If he came crawling back on his hands and knees,

I just wouldn't even look at him--

Oh my gosh, he's here! Whoa!

Slow down.

Be strong.

And remember--

Yeah, I'm better off without him.

Yes.

What do you want?

My girlfriend back.

Oh,

you think you can just waltz in here with that

"Lilly, I'm sorry" look on your face

and she's just going to run into your arms like nothing even hap--

Ollie-pop!

Lucky guess.

Lilly, I'm so sorry I've been such a jerk.

Okay, I got caught up in all the attention, but

Miley's right,

none of this means anything to me if

I can't share it with you.

Will you please forgive me?

Fine, I guess we will.

Uh, c-could you just hold on one second.

Uh, Miles,

can you read the serial number on this thing?

Yeah.

I-M-A...

I-M-A.

Dork.

Dork.

Finally.

You finally admit it.

Come on, I'll help you.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

I have nothing

good to say about that.

And I'm the nice one.