Original subtitles

Welcome back, everybody, to the fifteenth annual

Teen Scene Awards. I'm Nancy O'Dell

And get ready for a major sugar rush

because two of my favorite pieces of eye candy

have just now hit the red carpet

I am talking about the incredible Hannah Montana

and her new beau country rocker Austin Rain. Good to see you.

-Hey Nancy. -Yo. Nanno, what up?

Your duet "Us Isn't Us Without You"

is on the hot 100 charts and

speaking of hot how's that little romance going?

And of course you can tell me, they are not listening. Right?

Well it's so easy singing a love song

with the incredible hunk over here.

Oh shucks! Hey, this little chili fili

can make anyone look good.

Check it, I'm a regular hunky guy.

Incredibly hunky guy!

-Oh, you. -No, you.

No, us.

-Oh. Bye, Nance -Bye

Ah! I think they are cuter than

a box of newborn puppies, I love them!

Goo! You were stand at my left so I can show off my picture side.

Oh, you want to show off your better side?

Well you could just put a bag over your head

and let your hiney be all whiney.

You make me want to hurl.

Oh great! Aim for my eyes so I don't have to look at you!

Hannah, Austin, over here!

How much longer do you have to

fake date this incredibly yummy?

dummy,

yummy gummy dummy

More more gummy dummy than yummy!

Well, the publicity people want me to stay with him

until the record goes double platinum but

I hate the guy so much.

I might just buy a million copies myself

just to end the torture.

If this is torture, bring on the pain.

You poor thing.

Gotta go. Bye.

Jackson?

Hey, Miley, you go here?

We should totally carpool.

See ya.

Why were you giving that guy money?

What guy? There's no guy, I don't see any guy.

Is that a new outfit? I love what it does for your eyes.

Bye

-These look like test answers. -What?

No, those aren't test answers, this is a... is a... is a...

treasure map.

It's a secret treasure map, shhhh

What's the treasure, Captain Crook? An A on your history test?

Yeah. Like Mr. Meadows would ever believe I get an A

I'm not that stupid, I'm going for B+.

No. No. I'm not gonna let you do this.

You know what if you cheat you gonna get expelled,

you'll never get a job and by the time

that daddy in that little koot home

You'll be begging to live with me but I won't let you

cause I won't let a cheater ruin my cute little Rance Jr.

-Rance Jr? -In my dreams I marry a Rance, ok?

This is why you cannot cheat!

Watch me! I'm not throwing 100 bucks down the toilet!

Oooh, good idea.

Where do you think you're going, Stewart?

Oh, the dress means its the Girl's room.

-Principal's office? -Yeah.

I know the way.

We had some unfinished business to do, mister.

If you ever try to cheat again, just remember this:

I have my eyes on you!

Don't worry Miles, I'm not gonna cheat.

I don't wanna hear any of your...

Cheating canker sore on the Stewart fame lip say what?

I should never bought those answers.

Cheating is stupid

And if I want to get a good grade,

I'm just gonna have to study for it.

But... no fair!

I have more speech!

I have, I have the scolding finger waggle,

the righteous fist stomp,

and then, the disapproving noodle neck.

And I would've deserved it all.

Seriously, Miles, thanks for being there for me.

I'm just so proud of you!

And it feels so much better knowing that I didn't

back up the only girls' toilet that works for nothing.

Yo, dude, try not to lose this one.

Hey, Jeff.

I think you have the wrong house.

What part of 'leave it at Rico's' didn't you get?

You want it or not.

No, sir. I do not!

Good day. I said good day!

Ailboxmay.

What?

Ailboxmay.

What?

Leave in the mailbox!

Can you believe that guy?

Hey, I think I might go check the mail

Alright , now I see why you thought you had to cheat.

You're unbelievablely "upidstay"!

What?

-Upidstay! -Excuse me?

You are stupid!

Look, it's just one test.

Why do you care if I cheat anyway?

Because I care about you!

I don't know why, I don't like it!

Look, you just don't understand. This is my toughest class.

And if I don't get my average, I'm not gonna be able

to go away to college and get away from you!

And you think I don't want that?

But, you know how dishonest this is. You're cheating!

Really?

Maybe we can have a discussion about dishonesty after

your next fake date with that jerk who you're trying to

pass off to the whole world as your boyfriend!

That is not the same thing.

Yes, it is!

I'm doing whatever it takes to go into college.

You're doing whatever it takes to sell albums.

But the... I... but I... I... I

Don't, don't have an answer?

Or maybe you can buy one from Jeff.

Not so upidstay now am i?

I vacuum the house.

Dust it to shape.

I'm mopping the floor. I'm gotta give me a maid.

I gotta single dad tired and sore.

My aching bones can't take no more blues.

Thank you, Malibu.

-Do you feel overworked and underappreciated? -Yes, I do.

Do you make Funny old people noises when you sit onto a couch?

No.

Oh! Yeah!

Well, Melt the years away with

the healing powers of Senor Steam.

call today,and let senor steam recapture the dream

Nice try, but I'm not wasting my money on that garbage.

Act now and receive a complementary Senor Steam

hair volumizer used by hair models around the world.

Well, I guess one little informational

phone call couldn't hurt.

Right on time, Senor steam.

Hey yo!

You gotta be kidding me.

Nope, I am Senor Steam!

My dad bought me the company on my 10th birthday.

I wanted an airline but "No! that would spoil me."

I hate to say it, but that little voice inside my head

just tell me to close the door just as quick as I can.

Well, is this the same place that

told you to wear those jeans today?

It ain't doing you any favors!

Hey, Rico, no offense but I think I'll be

more comfortable doing business with your daddy

fine,then you won't get the 30% friends and family discount

-Sorry, but I'm not... -35%

That's not about the money

40, I will be nice to your son at the shack.

45, and I don't care how you treat him.

I got me a Senor Steam,

Robby Ray feels like a king.

Welcome Robbie Stewart, to the Senor Steam 5000.

We look forward to providing you and the Robbie Stewart family

Here's a mistful blissful relaxation.

Dang flabit.

No refunds or returns

Adorable!

And we'll be right back with America's newest sweethearts

right after I call my wife and tell her I love her.

And we're out.

Try a breath mint next time.

What? You don't like stinky cheese breath?

Open.

I know he's a jerk but that song is still so darn romantic.

I know, but I was thinking about Jackson the whole time.

Wow, that's a little weird

I was talking about his cheating.

Everytime I tell him it's wrong, he's like:

You're doing the same thing with your bogus boyfriend.

-Well, that's ridiculous. -Thank you.

Jackson's really only cheating himself.

I mean, you're lying to the entire world.

I like you a whole lot more 5 seconds ago.

Look, I'm sorry but... Jackson got a point.

I mean, it's hard to take advice from someone

who says one thing and does another.

You know, what that is...

Totally true.

You know, your little life lessons

are getting you really annoying.

Honey, I can't say that right now.

No, I... alright, fine.

You're super cool, you're super hot.

You're the girl I like a lot.

You're super super wife, a super... I gotta go

And we're back with my favorite cutie and

the lucky guy who gets to call her his baby.

Oh I sure am lucky, Colin.

You feel the same way too, don't you?

Colin, words cannot describe how I feel.

Sure they can, that's what words do!

So babble away and tell us the honest truth.

When you look at this tassel the Donnas,

how do you really feel?

Well, actually, Colin, I feel...

appalled, barfy, creeped out, disgusted.

Hannah baby, what are you doing?

Put a cork in it. I'm only have to eat.

Embarrassed, freat, gaggy.

-Horrified! -Exactly!

No, No. I'm horrified!

What happen to the love?

I'll tell you what happened to it.

The publicity people only made us pretend

that we like each other to sell our records.

Millions and millions records. You little goof. Oh you...

Aww!

She bit me!

You know, I don't need you, alright?

I'm hot, and I sing great...

and I'm hot!

Keep on walking, Austin Rain.

Real name: Albert Niedermeyer.

Oh, that's supposed to be a secret!

Not anymore!

Don't you just love having me on your show?

Wow

I guess if you've got the guts to be that honest,

then I should have got the guts not to cheat.

Way to go, bro, give me some.

What is that?

Nothing.

You wrote the test answers on your arm, didn't you?

No, I did not!

That's... weird looking rash.

Cannot believe you still cheat after what I did for you.

Hey, I didn't ask you to do that.

Yeah, I should've gone straight to Dad.

But no, trying to convince you to be honest is like trying to

convince uncle Earl skinny jeans do not

make him look skinny if you're fat!

You're not gonna go to dad.

Watch me!

-You really wanna go down that road? -Absolutly

What road? And exactly why wouldn't I wanna go down?

Oh, you know the road that start with you telling dad

this about me and ends with me telling dad

everything I know about you.

Okay, when you say everything...

Everything.

Past, present and future!

Future?

What kind of brother are you?

I guess you can consider me a traitor.

Much like Benedict Arnold who

Benedict Arnold who in 1779 gave away west point to...

the British!

Hello and welcome to Senor Stream

If you wish to continue with our automated helpline, press 1.

You pressed one! If this is correct press one!

Just get on with it!

If you're experiencing warping in your seater seat, press 1.

If you're experiencing splintering in your seater seat,

press 2.

If you're experiencing dry rot in your seater seat press 3.

If you're experiencing noxious indoor potentially fatal films

coming from your seater seat press sixty-seven!

I'm going to be sixty-seven before this is over!

For lack of steam press ninety.

Finally!

Thank you for your patience.

An operator will be with you momentarily.

Hallelujah!

You're estimated wait time is just three days...

Three days! Three days my Aunt Bertha's backside!

Rico I want this thing fixed and I want it fixed now!

Alright alright!

Did you try hitting the reset button?

The what?

The reset button. It's in big red letters.

On page one of your manual.

You read the manual right!

Of course I did. And I pressed the reset...

reset...

Reset button.

Oh that reset button. I must've pressed the other one.

There is no other one.

-Leave me my pride. -What?

Leave me my pride, boy!

Hey, I'm just going for a quick jog. Good luck on your test.

What do you mean by that!

Nothing. I'm just saying good luck.

Oh... Thanks.

You got everything covered?

What do you mean by that!

Wow son take it easy.

I can see you're stressed, but everything's gonna be fine.

I know!

-Well, urh... bye. -Bye!

It's so hot in here!

No sweating, no smudging! No sweating, no smudging!

Loosenig up some cheating skin so you can write down

more cheaty answers Floppy McCheater Pants.

Miley. I'm not proud of this but...

I can't risk not getting into college.

I gotta go. I don't want to be late for that test.

Jackson.

Where are my keys!

give me those keys!

I don't think so.

Miley! Are you ready for school?

Miley, stop running!

No sweating, no smudging! No sweating, no smudging!

Quick, Lily! I've got a plan. I need backup!

Of course you do.

Why is never "sit down have some breakfast"?

No sweating, no smudging! No sweating, no smudging!

Oh, great. There goes the Nineteenth Amendment.

Thanks to you, women are losing the right to vote!

Now, when Jackson comes in close the door...

Would it kill you to throw in a "please" once in a while!

-Please. -Thank you.

-Alright. Where is she! -Not in there!

-Man, you're dumb! -Not as dumb as you.

-Give me my keys now! -Okay!

Well, that was easy.

-Hit it, Lily! -Hit what?

-The green button! -The green button what?

-The green button, please. -Thank you!

Oh, now I'm getting out of here!

Too late! Lily locked the door. Kick it up!

-Please! -Thank you!

It's getting hot in here. Are you working up a sweat yet?

No! No! My answers!

They're melting! They're melting!

Look. I can see you're upset.

But at least now whatever grade you get on your test,

you know you deserve it.

That's what I'm afraid of!

Now how am I supposed to know

the Brown v. Board of Education in 1954

overturned Plessy v. Ferguson?

or in 1919 the Treaty of Versailles

ended the World War I?

Jackson.

Or the FDR's New Deal created the whole

bunch of programs we still use today?

Jackson.

The FTIC the FAJ the TVA the SCC.

Jackson, STOP!

It was all right here! And now it's all...

Up here!

How did that happen?

Well. Looks like writing all the answers

on your body was kinda like studying.

I studied?

Yeah! I studied!

Hey Mile! I think I'm going to ace this test!

Or... at least B-ce it.

Yes you can. And?

It feels really good to be prepared.

Yes. And?

You look like a raccoon at a water park?

You'll pay for that later. And...

Thanks.

You're welcome.

OK, Lily, you can unlock the door!

There's no locks in this steam room.

That would be totally dangerous! Dargh!

You.

I learnt from the best.

Lily. What are you doing up here?

Argh. Nothing. Just looking for Miley.

Hey look! There she is always the last like she look.

-What's up Dad? -Hey pop.

-Do I want to know? -No, not really.

Eh...

You're probably right.

Yeah ma. Oh, I'm telling you this Senor Steam

is the best investment I ever made.

When I get in here it's like

I'm the only person in the whole wide world.

All those little things that tend to drive my crazy

just disappear!

Heyo!

Rico. What are you doing here!

We came for the steam.

We?

You went for the friends and family discount.

Yeah.

You don't think that meant your friends and family did you?

Come on in, everybody! The steam is great!

Hold on just a second, mom, you know what they always say.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Like I said, mom, I'm loving the steam room!