Original subtitles

Hannah, you rock! l can't believe you did three encores!

l can't believe you did three encores.

You know we have a science project due Monday.

What is wrong with you?

Okay. Let's leave this boring rock star life behind

and get back to the glamorous world of earthworm larvae.

You decent, girl?

l got your squeaky little friend out here.

l told you, it's a nasal condition.

And, Hannah, l brought someone who wants to meet you.

No way. We're already late,

and l promised our larvae we'd be home by 1 0:00.

Okay, fine, l'll get rid of whoever it is...

Hey, l'm Jesse.

Oh, my gosh. lt's Jesse McCartney. l love you!

l mean, big fan, big fan.

Listen, tonight, l am the fan. You did a great job.

And you are?

Nice to meet you, ''Eep.''

Listen, Hannah, a bunch of my friends and l,

we're going to the Dragon Room. Wanna come?

- Yes. - No.

- No? - Yes.

Excuse us.

- What are you doing? - Our science project.

Right. Okay, l've got the fix.

You do all the work, and l'll go out with Jesse. Toodles.

l got a better idea.

You give me the Hannah wig, and l'll go out with Jesse. Toodles.

l don't think he speaks...

Listen, ladies, if now's not a good night,

why don't we do it tomorrow?

- That would be absolutely... - Math test.

- ...impossible. How about Tuesday... - Yearbook committee.

- ...of next week? - Homecoming float.

Which l just realised is no good, either.

Busy, busy bee. Yep, that's me.

Why don't l just text you?

Getting rejected in person is enough. l don't need it in writing. Thanks.

This stinks.

Of course they stink. They live in their own poop.

Not the worms. My life.

l cannot believe l gave up Jesse McCartney

for a slimy piece of fish bait.

She didn't really mean that, Ernie. She loves you.

lf only l could've told Jesse the truth.

He would've understood about school stuff,

but then l'd blow the secret. This double life is so hard.

Look, a shooting star.

l wish for an A on the project. What do you wish for?

Man, l wish... l wish there was no secret,

l was just Hannah Montana all the time.

Sure would make life a whole lot easier.

What is going on?

Your wish came true, girl.

Whoa.

You didn't want to be Miley.

Well, now, you're all Hannah, all the time.

What are you talking about?

You wished for one life and you got it.

ln this world, Miley Stewart never existed.

very funny, Roxy.

l'm not Roxy. l'm an angel.

l'm only taking the shape of Roxy to make you more comfortable,

and l'm loving it.

Okay.

How about you just wait here

while l go get some very nice men with a very big net?

You don't believe me?

Well, if l wasn't an angel, could l do this?

Check out my fly kicks, and l do mean fly kicks.

No, no, no, no, no. This cannot be happening.

lt's already happened.

You wished upon a star, and now Hannah Montana is who you are.

- Wow. - Nice crib, huh?

Look at this place! lt is so rock-star.

l mean, the twinkly lights, the leather couches,

and look at that awesome chandelier.

- Madonna has one just like it. - Not any more.

l love this!

You ain't seen nothing yet.

Your favourite breakfast cake, mademoiselle Montana.

- Triple Dutch chocolate? - With a fudge ripple middle.

l really love this.

l will put it next to the hot tub

so that you can chill out while you pig out.

Merci, Pierre. Ce tres tres bien.

l speak French.

You have a whole different life.

You lived in France, you own polo ponies,

and you have a black belt in jujitsu,

which came in handy when you fought that tiger on circus with the Stars.

l fought a tiger? l am so cool.

Good morning, Hannah.

Mr Corelli. What are you doing here?

Home school teacher. Hannah can't go to public school.

Yeah, l dropped by early to grab a little chow.

You know how much l love Pierre's omelette du fromage.

By the way, that's French for ''cheese omelette.''

l know!

Hey, Hannah, do you have that history report for me?

History report. Right, well...

Hey, no excuses, young lady. lf you do not have that report...

Who cares?

lt's home schooling á la Corelli.

By the way, loving the Team Montana jacket.

Bling, bling, bling.

Wore it to the salon yesterday, got a free back wax.

So, l don't have to worry about my assignments?

You don't have to worry about anything.

You are Hannah Montana.

And l am loving it.

Yeah, life is pretty sweet

when you don't have to deal with all that Miley stuff.

You got that right. No math test, no stinky earthworms and...

And more time to spend with your man.

- l got a man? - Not just a man, but the man.

Santa Lucia

Oh, mamma mia

The perfect night with the perfect girl.

Santa Lucia

l'd sing to you myself,

but l need these lips for something else.

You're so cute when you say ''Eep.''

Sorry, sugar lips, but my wings are getting all soggy.

You couldn't have given me one more minute?

Sorry, but the top of the gondola? Romantic.

Bottom? Nasty.

l can't believe it.

All these years, l was so paranoid about my secret getting out,

but, boy, was l wrong! This life is perfect.

Hannah-kins!

How's my favourite little rock star?

- Great. How's my favourite little... - Stepmom.

Step... What?

Candice was your first home school teacher.

Now she's my mom?

That must've been some parent-teacher conference.

Hey, hey, hey, darling. You missed some gnarly boarding.

- Gnarly boarding? - Totally.

Next time we go to Switzerland, you so gotta come with us.

- lt was off the hook. - Radical.

But l'm back now, baby. Give me a big hug.

Have you been working out?

l so gotta stay in shape to keep up with this little kitten.

Stop it!

l got some yackety-yak coming back. How about you?

Little bit. But you know what?

My dad's happy, and that's all that matters, right?

That's the spirit.

Don't let a little bump in the road get you down.

Speaking of little bumps, where's Jackson?

He doesn't live here any more.

Sometimes this teleporting stuff ain't easy.

Oh, no, l dinged a wing.

l got you!

Jackson?

Yee, doggies, a quarter! l'm eating good tonight.

- What happened to him? - Hannah Montana.

He got tired of people pretending to be his friends just to get to you,

so he dropped out and became a hermit.

A stinky hermit.

Hey, what are you looking at? Get! Get!

What happened to his voice?

Nothing. He just does that to scare people away.

Jackson.

Sweet nuggets! l hit the mother lode!

lt's just the load.

Jackson, was being my brother really that bad?

Yep! Now, get! l got my own life now.

And me and my dolphin brothers and sisters

don't care about no Hanny Montanny.

Except for Dave. He loves you.

Forget it, Dave! You want an autograph,

you come up here and you ask her yourself!

Wow. When he dropped out, he must've landed on his head.

Yo yo yo

lf you want to be a-viewing on what a pop star's doing

Just slide me a five and watch the Hannah house live

l cannot believe Oliver's selling peeks into my house.

lt's like he's turned into a...

A stretched-out version of that?

- How we doing today, Twice My Size? - Making bacon, Mini Me.

And we ain't faking. Time to do

- a little shaking. - A little shaking.

All of this happened because...

Because l was never Miley, l never went to regular school,

and so l never met Oliver.

l got it.

Oh, no. Angel, what happened to Lilly?

Okay, everyone.

- Prepare to be jealous. - Because we look...

- Fabulous! - Fabulous!

No!

You've done it now.

- lt's Hannah Montana! - Angel, help!

Freeze!

Okay, you know what? l don't want this life any more.

l want to be Miley again. l want my friends back.

Too late for that. Nobody ever gets a second wish.

Angel say what?

This is your life, Hannah.

Angel, there's got to be a way to get my old life back.

l told you, superstar.

Only one wish per customer. No refunds or exchanges.

Hey, babe.

You ready for our picnic on Papui?

What in the world is Papui?

The island l bought you.

Oh, my gosh. Jesse McCartney bought me an island.

- l'm sorry, Jesse. l can't. - Why not?

l'm sort of dealing with something right now, so...

You're so cute when you're dealing with something right now.

That's sweet, Jesse, but l think l need to be alone.

You're so cute when you need to be alone.

- Jesse. - You're so cute

- when you say ''Jesse.'' - Get out.

You're so cute when you're kicking me out.

l'm serious.

Still so cute.

Angel, there has got to be some kind of loophole.

Well, you could... No. Well, how about if you...

How about... Girl, l got nothing.

Angel, l want my family back, l want my friends back,

and Miley Stewart does not take ''no'' for an answer.

That's because Miley Stewart doesn't exist.

Not yet, but you'd be surprised what this girl can do with a wig.

Get your genuine Hannah Montana trash

We stole it ourselves and we'll sell it for cash

l got toenail clippings and that's no hype

clone your own Hannah while the DNA is ripe

l said what, l said what, l said what

l said... Word

- Respect. - Respect.

l mean, where'd she find that outfit? Like, Ugly-R-Us?

More like Ugly-R-Her.

- We are so funny. - And pretty.

l love us.

- Time to hydrate. - Time to hydrate.

- Hi. - Yeah, whatever.

Three bottled waters with lime, pronto.

Anyway, l'm Miley, and l'm new here,

and l was just wondering, do you want to be friends?

Okay, first, ''Miley,'' stupid name. B, l've already got friends.

And, cuatro, why don't you go back to the trailer park,

unhitch and drive away?

No, no, no. l can't drive, but l do skateboard.

Do you skateboard?

As if! lt's stupid, it's sweaty, and, hello, who wants helmet hair?

You do. You used to love helmet hair and scabby knees and elbow pad rash.

- Doesn't that sound like fun? - l took a pretty girl's karate class.

What happened to you? You're not like this.

How can you be friends with Amber and Ashley?

Come on, Lilly. You're better than that.

Okay, how do you know my name?

Wait, everybody knows my name because l'm popular.

Well, does everybody know

that you have a birthmark shaped like a poodle on your butt?

- How do you know that? - Because l'm your best friend.

And l know somewhere deep down inside of you,

our friendship is still there. Come on, look at me.

Really, really look at me.

Come on, Lilly. Don't you know me?

Oh, my gosh.

Yes! l knew you'd be able to see the real me.

Of course l can.

The blond hair's coming out of the wig.

You're Hannah Montana!

Look, everybody!

Hannah Montana's back, and she knows what's on my butt!

l can't believe l just said that out loud!

Over here, Hannah. Smile.

Come on, baby. Give me a little something something.

You can't believe what he bought me.

Marrying that dumb hillbilly was the smartest thing l ever did.

Hey, darling, you okay? You been up here for hours.

No.

Oh, boy, back ways round.

This may be more than my loco hot cocoa can cure.

You still make crazy loco hot cocoa?

Of course l do.

Why would you even ask a silly question like that?

Because everything's wrong.

Lilly and Oliver aren't my friends any more.

- Who? - See?

And Jackson moved out.

No, no, no. Now, that was his choice.

Yeah, but it wouldn't have been his choice

if l wouldn't have made that stupid wish and changed everything.

What wish?

Bud, you're starting to sound more loco than the cocoa.

Don't you ''bud'' me.

You're the one that married a blood-sucking leech

that doesn't even love you.

So that's what this is all about.

You know your stepmama warned me

you might end up resenting her a little bit.

She is so smart about teenage girls.

That's 'cause last year she was one.

Now, you hold on there, young lady.

l understand you being upset,

but one thing that will never change is you, me and our loco hot cocoa.

There you are. Hey, l was wondering...

Snap, is that hot chocolate?

Get it out! Get it out! l'm horribly allergic.

l get massive, massive headaches.

And you know what l am like when l get my headaches.

Totally. Adiós, loco cocoa.

Daddy, what about our special drink?

Just drink some tea.

What's the big diff, whiny little baby?

Robby! Candy needs a shopping spree

to make her head feel better!

You get the best of one world

Shut it.

Miley, why did you ever make that stupid wish? l hate my life.

l ain't so crazy about it, either.

Jackson, you came back.

Well, you're darn tooting.

l may be a grumpy hermit, but l still need my reality Tv.

Now, quiet! Chauntel's about ready to eat a bug.

Jackson, Jackson. lt's just us. You don't have to do the voice.

What voice?

Right, sometimes l forget.

Jackson, you know what?

l don't even care about the voice. l'm just so happy you came back.

Welcome home.

Didn't you hear me? l'm not staying.

But, Jackson, you have to.

l want at least some of my old life back.

l mean, you and l weren't perfect. We fought, but we loved each other,

and Dad loved us, and there was no evil stepmom,

and l had great friends,

and it was all because the world didn't know l was Hannah Montana.

A world that didn't know you were Hannah Montana?

Boy, l'd wish for that any day.

Angel! Angel, a shooting star! Right when he wished.

Come on, that's got to count for something.

Please?

Oh, man. l'm stuck like this forever.

Congratulations.

What? She found a loophole!

You have yourself a wonderful life, Miley.

Look, a shooting star.

l wish for an A on the project. What do you wish for?

l don't wish for anything. l love my life exactly the way it is.

Fresh.

Yo, we're walking down the beach 'cause we're mega, mega stars

We got girlies to spare we got tricked out cars

We're the Malibu crew and we got each other's back

l'm Ollie, that's Rico Now take it, J-Mac

We got serious bling-bling and baggy-waggy pants

So listen to us sing And watch the little guy dance

Go Rico, go Rico Go Rico, go Rico

Peace out.