Original subtitles

Oh, wonderful, Hannah! Brilliant! Oh, you look gorgeous, radiant.

Wait, stop, stop, stop.

Hannah, darling, we're doing an ad for skin cream, not wart removal! What is that face?

I believe it's a reaction to your singing.

And you are?

Hannah's manager.

Well, "Hannah's manager," I'm an award-winning photographer,

so why don't you just push your tush off my set.

And I'm also her father.

Oh! I need a chair for Mr. Montana's tush! Ah, there you go. Comfy?

Like a monkey in a banana bath.

Oh, how charming. Okay, Hannah, darling,

uh, Magic Glow Skin Cream, everyone's favorite zit zapper,

is using this billboard to launch a worldwide campaign, okay?

So give me, um, jubilance, uh, peppered with, uh, rapture

and sprinkled with just a dash of je ne sais quoi.

No, no, no, that's not even close.

How about, "Say cheese?"

Oh, I need some cheese for Mr. Montana!

Nice spread, son. You need to, uh, slow it down a little bit.

What I'm saying is if you just keep it simple you'll get more out of her.

Oh, yes, Mr. Montana, anything you say.

Just what I need: Jethro's chicken fried wisdom.

All right, Hannah, "say cheese!" Oh, oh, okay, all right. Good. Okay. Yes! Good!

You're getting there. Yes! Oh, fabulous! Oh, yes! Oh, fabulous!

Perfection! Perfection! I've done it again!

Miley!

Oliver!

For the winning shot.

Come on, Lilly, flagrant foul!

Oops. My bad.

Here you go.

Nice hands, Shaq.

Why don't you have your contacts in?

My dog ate them, along with

an entire tube of toothpaste.

He's been doing this all morning.

Lilly, how are you going to get a sneak a peek at

my Magical billboard tonight if you can't even see?

I'll just imagine your head really big with pigeons on it.

I know you're giving me a look, I just can't see it.

Don't you have backup glasses?

Oh, you mean these?

Wow-wee! Look at those styling specs!

Nice try.

Never let your mother buy you

glasses at a place that also sells tires.

Hey, Truscott!

Yeah! Who's that?

Heather. Okay, give them attitude.

More 'tude.

Congrats on making

the halfpipe finals.

I'm so sorry.

About what?

Sorry I'm going to beat you. Again.

Beat you again!

You've got no chance.

No chance!

Shut up!

Shut up! Oh.

Let me tell you something, Heather.

No. Let me. Hold up, slick, no one talks to my girl like that.

Ow.

Sorry. Saturday night in the finals, you're going down!

You may have beaten Lilly last year, and the year

before that, and the year before that, and the...

I think she gets it.

You're the one who's going to get it bad.

Get it bad! Too much?

You think?

You know what? You may be the champion now,

but after Saturday, you're gonna be the "chumpion!" High-five.

Just answer your phone before you hurt anybody else.

Hello. Hey, Mom. What?

But they said... Okay, fine. My contacts aren't coming until next week.

Oh, so what, you can just wear your glasses to the skate finals. Who cares?

I do. No way I'm gonna compete if I have to wear these.

Are you kidding me? All you've been talking about is

double kickflipping Heather all across the skatepark.

That was with two eyes, not four.

Over here.

I am not going in front of all those people looking like this.

Lilly, would you please forget about how you

look? It's what's on the inside that counts.

Easy for you to say. You're the poster child for perfect skin.

This isn't about me... or my perfect skin.

Oliver! Please tell Lilly that looks don't matter.

Okay. Looks don't matter.

See? If Oliver can say it with his freaky

nostril thing, you can get over your glasses.

Yeah. What?

Oh, you know how one's way bigger than the

other. You don't see him obsessing about it.

Oh my gosh. Look at me! Look! I am a lopsided freak!

I'm sorry, I thought you knew.

Stop staring at me! I am not an animal!

Jackson. There's something wrong with that boy.

Why? Why? Why me, Dad? Why me?

I was just asking myself that same question not five seconds ago when I unloaded these.

Whoa, it worked! They are whiter.

And lemon fresh!

On the bright side, I'm just glad to see you're wearing clean underwear again.

So, how'd the date go, son?

Well, I still can't believe it. I finally got Melissa to

go out with me and we're cruising down the coast highway,

and I do that yawn thing, you know where I get

my arm all the way around her. And then...

I can see where that would have been embarrassing.

But, at least you were in a convertible.

Dad, it wasn't me, it was the car! I-I didn't have

enough money so I ran out of gas. It was humiliating.

Don't sweat it, son. I'm sure your friend understood.

It's not like you made her get out and push.

This has been the worst date of my entire life!

Well, maybe a little kiss will make it better?

Well, somebody had to steer.

Hello, Jackson.

Hello, Rico.

So, your boss, the man I call "Daddy," tells me you asked him for a raise?

Yeah, I did. Girls like cars, cars like

gas, and gas costs money.

What's it to you?

Well, Daddy still hasn't made up his mind. Could go either way.

If only you had someone... someone-someone on the inside.

Someone who knows how to pull on his heartstrings

and make him dance like a little puppet.

What do you want, Rico?

And now the Great Ricolini will perform the legendary disappearing egg trick.

With the help of my charming assistant, the lovely Tina.

She's sure to shave the legs. But isn't she wonderful?

Here, oh Great Ricolini. The magical egg. Please no flash photography.

Isn't she wonderful?

I hold in my hand what looks to be an ordinary

egg. But is it? One, two, and... Yes, it is!

And I thank you.

Lilly, there's no one up here. This is really getting stupid.

We passed stupid on the third floor. Now we're up to sports hernia.

Okay, fine.

Whoa. This is so cool!

Wait till you see the billboard.

Not before the drumroll.

What?

You know, they really don't look that bad.

If it helps, I think they're pretty cool.

Aw, man!

What'd I say?

Dad, when a parent says something's cool, you know it's dorky.

Oh, okay, I get it. Lilly, I think those glasses are a big bowl of ugly.

Thanks a lot!

Big bowl of ugly? Work with me here.

Oh well, enough chitchat, how about we unveil this masterpiece?

Yeah. And Lilly when you beat Heather, in the skate

finals no one's going to be looking at your glasses.

They're going to be looking at the big trophy in your hand.

Well, it is big, isn't it?

Oh yeah. And if it were me, I wouldn't let glasses, or

anything stop me from going after what I really wanted.

Really? Well, what if you had... a zit the size of a tomato?

Lilly, come on. Now you're just being ridiculous.

Oh, yeah? Turn around.

Daddy, who put my face on that zit!

No, ma'am.

No, ma'am.

No way!

No way.

We never agreed to something like this.

No, we did not!

I know, but I had an inspiration. If Hannah Montana says,

"Even I get zits," she should have a zit. It was staring me right in the face.

Yeah, well, now it's staring all of Los Angeles

right in the face, and we don't like it.

No, we do not!

I hear your concerns there's nothing more important

to me right now than your feelings. Be right back.

I need more emotion! You're-You're strong, you're

fearless! You're a superhero saving the world.

Give me something. I can't work with this!

Not so easy when it's your face that has the problem.

I don't have a problem. Why should I have a problem?

After all, looks don't matter. And if that's the way they

want to go with this worldwide campaign, I'm fine with it.

Sorry, Mile, but this is the way they want to go with the worldwide campaign.

What? I mean, r-really? Great. Awesome. Terrific. I love it!

You do?

Yes I do. I mean, after all looks don't matter.

I don't just talk the talk, I walk the walk.

You are amazing. I mean, if you can stand up in

front of the whole world with that ginormous zit,

something any normal person would be humiliated by...

Lilly. Please. Get to the point.

The point is that if you can do all that, then I

can wear my glasses to the skate competition.

Thank you so much. This is the greatest thing you've ever done for me.

I am gonna double kickflip Heather all over that skatepark! Thanks to you.

I am so proud of you, Mile.

Thanks. Daddy, we have got to get rid of that zit!

What happened to "looks don't matter?"

What happened to "don't worry, I'll fix it?”"

I tried, bud.

I tried, bud.

Hey, Dad.

Well, you move the family to Hollywood and this is what you get.

Come on, Jackson, we got to do this quick.

Sorry, I need my cash up front. I've got one kid

yanking my chain already. I don't need another one.

Fine. Half now half when the job's done.

Done.

Okay. Let's cover this goober.

Wait. I got a better idea. It's not ready yet.

Just hold the paint.

Hey, Miles, what are you gonna tell Lilly at the

big unveiling when she sees that the zit's gone?

Not a problem. She'll be at the skateboard

competition, and by the time she sees the billboard,

she'll have her trophy, and I'll have my face back, just... like... that.

Nice work.

Thanks. You know, sometimes the voice in my head sounds just like Dad.

There's a reason for that.

Oh man. Busted.

So who's the mastermind behind this operation?

Okay... Jackson made me do it.

What?

Dad, why do you have a paint brush?

Jackson made me do it.

And I repeat. What?

Mile, you know I'll always be there for you. You're my little girl.

Well, hey, what am I?

Tina. My other little girl.

So, Rico, check this out. Your little magic act inspired me.

Keep your eye on the ball.

Round and around they go. Watch the amazing works

of the Magnificent Jacksolini. Where's the ball?

Nice try, amateur.

You call that a trick?

Nope, I call that a setup. Here's the trick.

Aw, gross, man. This stuff stinks.

Hey, hey, hey do you want this? Fetch. Go get

it, boy. Yeah, your dad called me this morning.

I got the raise. And I thank you.

This isn't over.

Melissa! Great news! I'm a man with money and a lot of gas... uh, in my car.

What did you do to this little boy?

Well, first of all, he is not a little boy.

I want my mommy!

You stop that!

No, you stop it. Make him stop, nice lady.

And to think I came all the way over here to give you a second chance.

But... he's the devil.

And you're pathetic. Come on, sweetie, I'll take you home and wash you off.

Wait. I have money.

Who wants to talk to me? Hello, hi, hi. Oh, you're not important enough.

Oh, look it's the Montana posse. Uh, howdy. Nice 'stache.

Uh, you grow them fast down south. Once again,

I'm sorry about... What was I sorry about?

Putting that zit on my child's forehead.

Okay.

Right, I-I, well... Who else wants to talk to me?

Psst! Psst! Psst!

She's with me.

Lilly, what are you doing here? You're

supposed to be at the skateboard competition.

I'm going straight from here, but what kind of friend would I

be if I didn't come to support you after all you did for me?

That's so sweet. Thank you so much. Now go.

No, no, no, when they pull that cover off and expose

that big zit, I'm going to be right here for you.

Again, I appreciate it. Now leave.

No way, I'm staying.

Ladies and gentleman, I'd like to present my latest masterpiece,

the worldwide premiere of the Magic Glow Skin Cream campaign!

Hey, what happened to the zit? Where'd it go?

Wow! That zit zapper really works!

Where's my zit? I loved that zit!

That'll teach you to sell us a horse and then deliver a mule.

You covered it up.

Lilly, you don't understand.

Oh, I understand fine. You lied to me.

Uh, but Lilly, just because I couldn't take my own advice doesn't mean you shouldn't!

I mean, go to that skateboard competition. Teach me a lesson. Be my role model.

Save it. Why should I believe anything you tell me?

Because, you said it was the best thing I ever did for you.

Well... sometimes I say things I don't mean. You should know what that's like.

Lilly please give me one minute.

Well, here she is, the new Magic Glow Skin Girl,

Miss Can't Even Have One Little Blemish, no

matter how many awards I'd win if she did.

Ladies and gentlemen, Hannah Montana.

Thank you. It's a real honor to be the spokesperson for Magic Glow Skin Cleanser.

But if there's one thing that I've learned throughout this entire experience,

it's that nobody's perfect, even celebrities.

You look pretty perfect up there.

Yeah, but sometimes I look like this.

Whoa.

I didn't want people seeing me this way, but I was wrong.

Looks aren't everything. I'm not gonna say that they don't matter,

but there's stuff that matters more. And if you let a zit, or let's say,

dorky glasses, stop you from living your life,

you're gonna regret it. You really will.

So take your pictures. Let the world see that even.

Hannah Montana gets zits. And I'm okay with it.

But this, I ain't so crazy about.

You know for a cowboy, you're kind of cute.

Just walk away sister.

Well I'll be danged. The boy was right, that pots

and pans cycle really does get my clothes whiter.

I told you and as soon as my stuff's done. The dryer's all yours.