Original subtitles

So, what'd you think?

Those pajamas are so cute.

I was talking about the song.

Oh, love that, too, but I can't wear it.

When we're at the mall tomorrow, I want to get something cool to wear.

Oh, I forgot. Publicity thing. What about Saturday?

Uh, Saturday, Saturday... Can't. Laker game with my dad. How about Sunday?

Yeah, I think I...

Can't. Costume fitting Sunday morning. What about Sunday afternoon?

Uh, nope. Three o'clock dinner with my grandparents.

I love them but they smell like oat...

Meal.

Oh, I love the smell of oatmeal.

Not when it's mixed with mouthwash and my grandmother's BO. This is crazy.

What?

We haven't had any Miley-Lilly time in, like, forever.

I know. I miss it, too.

Then how about Tuesday after school?

Ooh, sounds perfect, but, I'm trying out for the cheer...

Leading squad. Oh, hey, why don't you try out with me?

Cheerleading?

Give me an "n"! Give me an "o"! What's that spell? No.

Yeah, no time together. Come on.

You can get this.

We won't regret this.

We'll be together,

best friends forever!

When you cheer this way, I have to say, "Okay." I know

you must be right, but now I have... stage fright.

Oh. Say good night, Lola.

Good night, Lola!

Hey, Dad, is the sink still clogged?

No, son, I unclogged the sink hours ago,

now I'm just working on my triceps.

Well here, let me help.

Really? Sure. If you lean into it like this, you get your deltoids, too.

Maybe I'll just bench press you out the window.

Are you working on your pecs or your delts? Make up your mind!

Oh, heck with this.

I'm already late for a meeting.

I'm just going to call the plumber.

I can't believe it,

the drain's already clogged now

I'm going to throw eighty

dollars an hour down it.

Plumbers make eighty dollars an hour?

Well, I'll do it for fifty.

You know what?

I'm so late

I'm going to take you up

on that little deal.

Wait a minute, if I would've known you we're going

to cave that fast, I would've asked for like, sixty.

And I was willing to give you seventy-five. Oh!

All right, here we go!

Wait a minute. If I'm going to be a plumber, I'm going to do this right.

Oh, yeah. Ooh, that breeze feels nice.

Quickest fifty bucks I'll ever make.

Oh, man, I hated that broccoli casserole the first time.

We've got pride!

On our side!

You know it, we show it! We've got pride!

Okay. So, that's the pride cheer, with optional Herkie. Any questions?

A couple. First, what the heckie is a Herkie?

And second, if one of these is a pom-pom, does that make two of them

pom-pom-pom-poms?

These are the questions that haunt me.

Show me what you got.

Go ahead.

Go team.

Throw the ball.

Go team.

To the mall!

Lilly, we're doing this to spend time together.

That's not going to happen if I'm on the team and you're not.

Okay, so just watch me, all right?

And one-two-three-four. Move and squat, arms up and

jump. Twirl, clap, arms up and jump. Okay, now you try.

Okay, move and squat and arms and jump and clap

and arms and twirl, and twirling and twirling.

How's that?

Now-Now why is it that when I ended up on the

couch like that you grounded me for a week?

That's because you jumped all the way from the piano.

Sixteen feet a new personal best baby!

So I'm guessing you're going to be the only

cheerleader there with pom-poms and a helmet.

Uh, help.

Hey, uh, Jackson. Where's Miley?

Don't know.

When's she gonna be back?

Don't care.

Could you tell her I stopped by?

Don't count on it.

There, I'm through.

Uh, hey, uh, Jackson?

Uh, not right now, kid. I'm about ready to hit pay dirt.

Jackson, turn it off!

Jackson!

Why does this always happen to me?

I was kind of thinking the same thing.

Dominate the floor.

Pirates make that score!

Give it all you got!

Pirates make that shot!

Ow! I can't believe I broke a nail!

Anyway, yeah, team!

Uh, Amber, that was a wonderful effort.

Ooh, every time you fell, you got right back

up again. Even when I begged you to stay down.

Everyone give it up for the effort.

Okay, moving on.

She doesn't like you because you're too pretty and you threaten her.

Story of my life!

Okay, Stewart. Show me your stuff!

Okay.

They've got our ball,

we want it back.

They've got our ball,

we want it back.

They've got our ball...

You want it back. I get it. What else you got?

Ooh, I got a good one.

And slide and slide and do the butterfly!

And dip and dip and shake my little hips,

I want you and you, to cheer it with me to! Wow! Way to go, baby.

When I asked you to bring it, you brought it. Now take it over there.

Lilly Truscott. Come on down! You're the next contestant on "The Coach Is Right!"

Okay, Truscott, you're the last one. The next minute

of my life is yours. Don't waste it. Let's go.

Dominate the floor,

Pirates raise that score,

give it a shot... Sorry, I mean... Give it all you got,

Pirates take that... make that shot! Yay!

Well, wasn't that something?

Uh, can I try something a little different?

Yeah. Something different would be good.

Oh no, I can't watch this I only taught her one cheer.

You might be good at football.

You might be good at track.

But when it comes to basketball You might as well step back!

Come on, step back. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

W-Wow! Where did that come from?

I just did all my skateboarding stunts without my skateboard!

Well, you know what put the skateboard away and grab a uniform.

You're on the squad!

Yay!

And Stewart, I love your enthusiasm.

It is part of what makes you perfect for a position of great

responsibility on this squad and I think you know what I'm talking about.

I think I do. She's going to make me head cheerleader.

Congratulations to our new mascot!

Yeah! Mas... What?

Everyone say hello to Pirate Pete! Argh!

Argh?

We're number one.

Not number two.

And we're gonna beat the whoops out of you!

Testing, testing.

Five-five-five-oh-one-two-one, five-five-five-oh-one-two-one.

That's my number, ladies and the tenth caller gets a date with moi.

Hello, lucky tenth caller.

Knock it off, Oken! Sorry, Coach.

Argh! I'm a pirate! Why am I riding a tricycle?

This is not a tricycle. This is your pirate ship.

Own it! Sell it! Make the crowd believe it!

I don't even believe it.

Dominate the floor!

Pirates make that score!

Give it all you got!

Pirates make that shot!

Perfect! Fantastic! You girls are the best.

There's not a girl in this school who doesn't wish they were you.

Oh, hi, Stewart.

Coach, I put this on my head and it smells like a litter box.

Don't worry. I think I've got something that might help.

Oh, man there's gum stuck in here.

Air fresheners! Do you want to smell like a pine forest,

a tropical breeze, or a brand new car?

I want to smell like a cheerleader.

They don't make that scent. Now get back out there and show

me a little less Miley and a lot more pedaling pirate. Argh!

I am so glad you talked me into this. It's a blast.

Oh yeah! You should see it from inside here.

And the best part is, we're back to having Miley-Lilly time. Got to go.

I know you feel bad about not making the squad, but look.

Argh.

See? I told you it would make you feel better.

Oh yeah, that's right, you run from Pirate Pete!

If this thing had a plank. You'd be walking it!

Hey, Jackson. Miley left her head at practice. You get it? Her head.

Don't know.

But I didn't ask that.

Don't care.

Will you stop?

Don't count on it.

Well, hey, check this out.

One sec. Ready.

Man, it was a little water and some unidentifiable sludge.

Get a tetanus shot and buck up, little camper.

Ah, check it out! It's perfect!

How did you do that?

I have absolutely no idea.

I did know I had to work fast though. Went under

the house, it was dark, I got bit by spiders.

Man, I wouldn't be surprised if I wake up tomorrow with super spidey powers.

Hey, check this out.

That, sir, was the sweet and sour sound of fifty dollars going in my pocket.

Jackson!

What's that sound?

Jackson!

Man, I gotta get out of here!

Dang it!

I know that it looks like I messed up,

but technically the job was to unclog the sink and the sink's

unclogged. Now, I do take personal checks, but I prefer cash.

And I prefer not to shower in moo shu pork

and lunch is on me

and now it's on you.

Oh no, it's following me.

Hey, Mile. How's it going?

I feel like I've been dumped on all day.

Yeah, I know the feeling.

I did this cheerleading thing to be with Lilly and now she's a cheerleader

and I'm a lame pirate! And yes, I'm talking to you stinky.

Whoa. That's a relief. I thought it was me.

I mean, I don't know what to do. I'm not having any fun. I just wish I could quit.

Well, then why don't you?

What?

I mean heck I don't know any friendship that's worth

wearing a smelly old pirate head. The heck with Lilly.

How can you say that? She's my best friend.

She's more important to me than...

Wait, a minute

did you do that on purpose.

Did what?

Get all Jedi mind-tricky on me again.

Thanks, Dad. I'm gonna go take a shower.

Uh, unless you are in the mood for a moo shuey shampooey, I wouldn't do that.

And your score at halftime, the Fillmore Flamingos fifty-eight,

and your Seaview Pirates... less than that.

Way less than that,

but let's not think about that, let's think about your lovely.

Seaview Pirettes! That's five-five-five-oh-one-two-seven.

Go, go!

What's that I hear? Uh, oh cannon fire? It's Pirate Pete!

Argh! Argh! Let's chop up them flamingo's and feed them to the sharks!

Avast ye landlubbers! Shiver me timbers!

Shiver your timbers over there! I-I can't see the cheerleaders!

Oh, Sorry. I mean... sorry, matey. Back it up! Whoa!

You're paying for that popcorn, you fat headed freak!

Shove off, matey!

Hey, stop it, I can't see.

No! Not my soundboard!

Sorry Oliver!

What are you doing? A mascot never takes off her head! It ruins the illusion!

What illusion? I'm a pirate on a pink tricycle!

Look, just stay on the sidelines and watch the pretty cheerleaders.

We're number one

not number two.

We're going to beat

the whoops out of you. Take a hike, Pinky. I'm not in the mood.

I said back off!

Bring it on birdie!

Why you little! Hey! Stop it!

Ow! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ooh, I'm gonna get you for that.

Hey, no pecking! How do you think I got this eye patch?

I'm sorry, coach, I was just trying to be the best mascot I could be.

And I think you were. That's what's so sad.

But I'll be better next time.

There won't be a next time, will there?

Listen, sweetie, some people just aren't meant to perform in front of crowds.

What I'm trying to say is, Beyoncé you're not.

Turn in your head,

but have it dry cleaned first.

Hey, what happened?

I got fired.

I'm sorry, Lilly, I really wanted this to work out, but

we can find something else we can do together. Come on.

What do you mean, "come on"? I have to go back out and cheer.

Why would you go back out if I'm not here?

Because... well, I like it.

But we only did this so we could be together.

That's before I saw how cute I look in this uniform.

So a uniform's more important than our friendship?

No, but... Miley, can we not do this right now? I have a big Herkie coming up!

You didn't even know what a Herkie was until I taught it to you!

Truscott!

Look, I gotta go.

Well, so do I!

Mr. Stewart, you are one lucky man.

Uh, I'd feel a lot luckier if I was talking to your face.

Oops, sorry,

was I showing again?

You get so used to the breeze, you can't even tell anymore.

I know what you mean.

Your main line was so rusted, you were one flush away from flooding the place,

but the work this boy did held it all together until I got here.

Now, wait a minute, are you talking bout my son Jackson?

Yeah.

This boy right here? My son?

Right. He didn't screw up?

He saved this place.

This boy did?

Yes!

Jackson?

Yes! Son,

you've got the plumber's gift.

My boy had it, but he decided to go to college.

Kids, they'll break your heart.

Well, I guess someone owes someone an apology and fifty bucks.

You're right, Jackson. I never thought I'd ever

say this, but, good job, son. I'm proud of you.

"Good job, son. Good job. Thanks, Jackson." You're welcome, Dad.

Yeah, I could get used to this. Because I didn't screw up, I

didn't screw up, I didn't screw up cha-cha, I didn't screw up!

Jackson, what was that?

Nothing!

It's time for my spidey escape.

Dang it, I got to get these things fixed.

Okay, now I'm ready to talk!

Well, now I can't. Hannah Montana has a backstage

party at the Stones concert. Why are you limping?

Because thanks to you, I couldn't concentrate, and my Herkie was jerky.

Wow, that looks swollen. Do you want some ice?

Don't you be nice to me when I'm mad at you and yes, wrapped in a towel.

Ow.

Can you still cheer?

It doesn't matter anyway, I'm gonna quit.

What? You can't.

What are you talking about? You're the one who told me I should!

Well, I was being selfish.

When I'm on stage performing, and I look out to the

wings and you're always right there cheering me on.

Well, I just want to do the same thing for you.

Really?

Yeah, but I can't do that if you quit.

But if I don't quit, we'll never get any Miley-Lilly time together

and I mean, it's not like you can quit being Hannah Montana.

No,

but sometimes I can like tonight.

What are you doing?

I'm about to limp to the mall with my friend, Lilly.

You're gonna give up the Rolling Stones concert for me?

Please, those guys will still be touring when they're ninety.

I thought they were ninety.

That's great! You're on the squad!

You hear that, ladies? Smokin' Oken's on the squad.

Now you really have something to cheer about.

Come on, it's not that bad! Is it?