Original subtitles

This is so cool! I've been waiting months for these

scarves to come out! I'm never taking it off!

Great! Just be sure to shower in cold water only and lie yourself flat to dry.

Okay, next!

And not so fast, short stuff. You know the drill. Arms out.

I knew it! What you hiding in there?

Braces?

Yeah, likely story. Open!

Daddy, you know I love Roxy. She's the best bodyguard we've ever had.

But ever since she got back from her Marine.

Corps reunion, she's been a little...

Say "ah"! Ahhh!

In-your-face.

She's just looking out for you, darling.

Remember, Roxy's the same person that threw herself

in between you and that sneezing fan in Cleveland.

You're right.

All right, she's clean. Doesn't floss, but she's clean. Move along.

Hey!

But I got my eyes on you.

Oh, my, that looks fabulous on you!

Actually, I'm just looking.

Well then look some place else, kid, I've got a car payment to make.

Fine. But I hope when I'm as old as you I'm not as bitter.

Oh, you will be.

This is incredible. All these fans, and the store even made a mannequin of me.

That's not a mannequin, that's a Hannequin, Miss Montanaquin.

Oh, no.

What? That was cute'aquin.

No. I think my dad's shopping for my birthday present.

Oh, no, someone's going to buy you something

really expensive and cool. Whatever will you do?

No, Lilly, you don't get it. As a dad, he knows everything about everything.

But as a shopper, well, let's just say the alarm

should go off when he comes in to the store.

You're right. All that dress needs is a sheep

and a bonnet and you're Little Bo Geek.

I love him, but the man should not be allowed

into the teen department with a credit card.

Will someone please stop him?

Stop who? Where? I'll get him!

He's clean! Move along. You're blocking people here!

Mom always knew the right stuff to buy me.

She had great taste.

But Dad, oh man,

he has the taste of a month-old pickle.

Look, no dad knows how

to shop for a girl.

You know what my dad got me

for my last birthday?

A savings bond.

You can touch it, you can

feel it, but you can't spend it! Pointless!

Well, I'd take a savings bond over

one of these presents any day.

Behold the ghosts of holidays past.

I think I'm going to be sick.

I need a fashion magazine!

Cool, hip, trendy. Okay...

all better.

I can't believe you actually wore those in public.

Please. They never made it out of the house.

Miley! Let's see that

pretty new birthday number.

Daddy! Does tomato juice stain?

Mamma-Mia! Thatsa bigga staina!

Why don't you just say something to him?

Because I don't want to hurt his feelings.

You should see the look on his face when he gives them to

me and says, "I picked this out special for you, bud."

Ooh, the puppy dog look. My dad gets me to shampoo grandma with that one.

Well, you know, I don't think I can take another

one of those looks or another one of his presents.

There's got to be a way to stop him from shopping again.

Well, what are you going to do? It's not

like he's going to take you along with him.

True. But he might take you.

Excuse me! If I could squeeze through that air vent

so can someone else. We're going to work on that.

Miley?

Miles?

All right, the coast is clear, bring in the cake.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Woop! Woop! Woop! Woop! Woop! Woop! Woop!

Would you give... Give it to me!

Dude, chill, I'm just playing with you.

It's just a cake. It's not just a cake.

It's Miley's birthday cake.

And it's a chance for me prove to my dad that I can

do something around here without screwing it up.

Dude, I can help you bring in the cake, but

I can not help you with mission impossible.

Ha, ha I got it here, didn't I? Good, it's still perfect.

And it's going to stay perfect until Miley's birthday

tomorrow. I just got to get it in the garage fridge.

Oh, uh, could you grab the box? I can't wait to see the

look on my Dad's face when he gets a load of this cake.

Son, I don't think you want to see the look on my face.

What are you grinning about?

There he is. Now just remember my future happiness depends on you.

No pressure.

You know, usually when someone says "no pressure" it adds pressure.

Just go!

Mr. Stewart!

Hey, Lilly.

What on earth are you doing here?

Oh, I'm still hunting for just that right birthday present for my little girl.

What a coinkydink. So am I.

So, found anything?

Nope.

Well, here's a wacky thought. Maybe I can help you out,

since we both happen to be coinkidinkally here... coinkidinkally.

That's not a bad idea.

What do you think of this little number?

What do I think of that? Hmm, what do I think?

I'm going to have to give it a thumbs down.

What about something over here?

Hi.

Hi.

Just looking.

Me again.

Just wanted to let you know about our new promotion.

Yeah. It's called buy something or get out.

Hey, I... I... I have my eye on something. I... Blah blah blah and don't come back.

I don't know. Maybe we should just try another store.

No! We haven't checked everywhere yet. I'm sure we can find her somewhere.

I mean, find her something somewhere.

Lilly.

Whoa!

What? Did you find something?

Sure did.

And I hate it.

Just thought I'd let you know. Look, pink.

Let go!

You know, I think I saw something with a big bow on it over here.

Whoa!

Hey, that's nice. Where'd you find that?

It just sort of jumped out at me and hit me in the eye!

Think she'd like it?

I think if she were here, she'd be all over it.

Then let's do it.

Man, that thing is lifelike. I mean, they even got the freckles right.

Look! No line at register two!

Hey, cut it out!

Mommy!

Don't be scared.

Stop staring at me, you freak!

Kid thought I was real.

Come on, there's a spare key out here somewhere.

Okay, first, you drop a cake,

then you lock yourself outside of the house with the new

cake. I'm starting to think you got some cake issues.

Look, less thinky, more looky.

All right. If anything happens to this one,

my Dad will never let me live it down.

Please tell me the cake didn't just fall.

The cake didn't just fall. The pelicans pushed it.

Why?

Maybe they thought it was a crab cake.

Oh, you get it? Crab cake.

Go home.

Hold up, there.

Has this bag been out of your sight or control since the time you wrapped it?

Roxy, you're here for Miley's birthday. You're a guest. You're off the clock.

Mm-mm. Danger never takes a vacation.

All clear. And, girl, you're going to love it!

Lilly, this is awesome!

And it's going to look so good with the jacket.

I know.

Here you go, Mile.

One second!

Oh, Roxy. I got this one. And I'll use your present to do it.

It's clean.

I told you she was going to love it. Oooh, you've been working out. Ha ha!

Yeah, I have.

Sheepskin seat covers. You got me a present for your car?

Hey, when I drive you to the mall, I want you to be comfortable.

For Christmas, I'm getting you chrome spinners.

Fine. And you're getting a black leather skirt with matching pumps. Mess with me!

Your turn, Mr. Stewart. I wonder what you got her. Wink, wink.

Happy birthday, bud.

I have no idea what this is. But that's the great thing

about surprises, you don't know what it is and...

Aw, it's a kitty!

But what about the jacket?

I took it back. Didn't feel right.

I picked it out special for you, bud.

And I love it! Especially the back.

Do I know my little girl, or what?

Turn it around! Squeeze the nose!

Just when I thought it couldn't get any cuter.

Okay, I'll wear it for an hour, make my dad happy,

and then tonight it will mysteriously fall into the barbecue.

What if it doesn't burn?

I will cut it up and eat it if I have to.

Either way, no one besides you, me and my

daddy is ever going to see me in this thing.

Hey, Mile, come on out on the deck. I got a little surprise for you.

If it's the matching pants, you're eating with me.

Surprise!

Gotcha, didn't I?

You sure did.

Okay, what we waiting on? Everybody down to

the beach! We got a birthday to celebrate!

You don't know how hard it was to keep the secret from both of you.

You knew?

Yeah. You should have seen the look on your face.

How do you like this look?

Wow, that's the same look my mom had when she turned forty.

Well, what are you waiting on, darling? Get

on down there and show off that sweater.

Are you sure it won't make the other kids jealous? Because, you know, it might.

Honey, this is your special day. You deserve

to have every eye down there on you.

Great.

Jackson, we're going to need that cake in about an hour.

Yeah. No problem. Why should it be a problem?

You're laughing at me, aren't you? Laughing

your little pelican laugh. I hate you!

Okay, everybody, it's limbo time! Yeah, how low can I go? How

low can I go? How low can you... Oh! My achy breaky back!

Hey, Roxy, have you seen... Miley!

Sorry. Never sneak up behind Roxy,

because Roxy sees everything.

Hey, you're all right there, sugar. Shake it off.

Come on, Miley, so it's a dorky sweater.

Are you kidding? I look like a kitty-kabob.

Well, no one here's going to make fun of you.

It's not like someone's going to take your picture and put it in the school yearbook.

Hey, birthday girl!

Say "cheese"!

Quick! Cover my tail!

Did you get her? No. You?

No. I took a picture of myself by mistake.

Oooh, and I look fantastic.

Yo, J-man?

Jackson?

Uh, In the kitchen, Coop!

Yo! Did you see the roadkill your sister was wearing?

What are you doing?

What's it look like I'm doing? I'm baking the cake.

All right, I got, uh, milk, flour, now, add three eggs. All right.

One, two, three.

Uh, Jackson... Shh! Now, stir. All right.

Stupid pelicans.

Pelicans eat fish not cake! Everybody knows that.

Coop, I think there's something wrong here.

You're supposed to break the eggs, fool!

That totally makes sense.

Yeah! Thank you.

I cannot watch this anymore.

Like you could do any better?

Way better. Okay, I'm going to tell you

something nobody outside of my family knows.

What? You still drink "Shirley Temples?"

They are fruity and refreshing!

But that's not it! The truth is... I'm a baker.

What?

I love to bake! Pies, cakes, tarts, and my snicker doodles are off the chain!

You said that your mom made those.

Are you kidding? My mom can't make ice.

Now step off and let a pro have a go. I need a clean bowl, fresh ingredients,

and give me that. You're not fit to hold the whisk!

Ya, mon, that's right. Nobody can beat this.

Guess again, string bean. Roxy is undefeated. How low can I go! Yes!

Now somebody point me to the prize table.

But, you cheated.

I don't think so. Neither do I.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Miley, you can't stay in the bathroom forever.

You know the best part about being yearbook editor?

Choosing the pictures that go in it. Oooh.

I'm getting tired of that. Me, too.

Let's stop.

Oooh.

Why don't you just take it off?

And tell my father what?

I don't know, that you're allergic to cats?

This is what I think of that idea.

Well, you got to do something. If they take

your picture, it'll be in the yearbook forever.

Hey, it's Oliver.

Uh, use the other one!

Mile, you can come out now. I got you covered.

How?

Just trust me.

Here, this should cover the sweater.

Oliver, you're a lifesaver.

My Aunt Harriet got me the puppy version for Christmas. It barks "Jingle Bells."

Very clever.

Yeah, there's no way we can take the picture now.

Right. Unless something were to happen like this.

Stop it, guys! Yeah, why are you so mean?

It's what we do. Well, we don't. Yeah, we're friends.

You think everybody here doesn't know it's the

dorkiest sweater in the history of the world?

You'd have to be blind not to see that.

Well, I don't care what anybody thinks.

I... I love this sweater.

Because it was given to me by someone I care about very much.

And if you want to take my picture, then go right ahead.

Because this sweater means more to me than the

coolest outfit in the world. Right, Mittens?

Wow. It really makes you think twice about taking the picture.

I know.

Say cheese.

Hey, girls! Picture this! Haaaa!

Oh!

Yeah! That's what happens when you mess with Crouching Tiger, Hidden Roxy.

My cake!

That I carried but didn't make...

because guys don't do that.

Ladies? Say "gotcha!"

Now we both have pictures.

Want to trade?

Oooh.

I don't do that.

Dad?

Hey, sweetheart.

Thanks for a great birthday.

Yeah. Thanks for what you said out there, but

we both know I messed up, don't we?

It's not that...

I wouldn't say...

It meows, Dad.

I know.

I saw a lot of clothes you would have liked a lot

more but, I just couldn't get myself to buy them.

Why not? You see what I wear to school. You

see what I wear on stage as Hannah Montana.

Yeah. Maybe that's just it.

My little girl's just growing up so fast, there's a part of me

that just wanted to hold on to the little girl you used to be.

Aw, Daddy. I'll always be your little girl.

I'll just be your little girl that... that dresses better.

It's a deal. You know?

Your mom and I, when she was around, we used to have a deal that

she'd buy all the presents and I'd carry the bags for her.

Maybe it's time I just started carrying your bags for you.

That could work.

But you got to do me one favor. When you open

the presents, you still got to act surprised.

That's perfect.

Hey,

does that pelican got frosting on his beak?

Jackson.

You How long do you think that's going to last?

It's got a watch battery.

It could last forever.

Oy.

One more time!