Original subtitles

H-h-hey! Watch it, kid.

What are you doing?

I got a package they need to sign for.

If you don't want to be taking chances like that,

don't go near the house.

Don't even open the mailbox.

J-just uh,

toss stuff over the gate and,

move on.

You know I can't do that.

That's against the rules.

Who's gonna know!?

Oh, please...

It's my last day.

All I want is my pension... !

What's a big deal anyway?

Vicious dog?

I wish.

Hi, a special delivery for Fester Addams?

Oh, goody! My Bomb of the Month Club package is here.

Sign here, please.

By the way, name's Pete.

I'll be taking over for Matt, here. He's taking early retire...

I guess he's kinda anxious to get home.

Anyway, have a nice day.

Oh, I will.

It's dynamite month.

Oh, man.

Trying to scare the new guy, huh?

♪ Welcome to the Addams family ♪

♪ How you do, the Addams family? ♪

♪ Come into the Addams family ♪

Now!

Chachacha! *snap snap*

♪ Wonderfully scary ♪

♪ And pleasantly hairy ♪

♪ Delightfully? Very. ♪

♪ It's the Addams family! ♪

*snap snap*

♪ Welcome to the Addams family ♪

♪ Come into the Addams family ♪

♪ Come into the Addams family ♪

Now!

Chachacha! *snap snap*

Mail's in!

I thought I heard the mailman scream.

Bomb of the Month Club?

Fester, I hope you're gonna open that in here.

I was thinking of opening it after dinner.

I always enjoy an explosion more, on a full stomach.

What is it, dear?

Not another letter from that ghastly Ed McMahon?

No, it's from the Mayor.

It says if we re-elect him,

he'll lower taxes, drain the swamps,

and add more streetlights.

More streetlights?!

Why, we've got enough as it is.

And besides, everytime Pugsley shoots one out with his cannon,

someone comes along and fixes it.

How can a public servant be so out of touch with the people?

If I were you,

I'd write a letter to the Mayor.

I'll do one better than that.

... You rang?

Lurch, the car!

We're going to City Hall.

Mr. Addams, I'm so glad you stopped by.

What can I do for you and your...

Your lovely family.

It's about the streetlights you're promising to add.

Say no more, I'll see to it that yours is the first street we put more lights on.

Make a note of that, Clyde.

But that would make it even brighter!

And cheerier.

No need to thank me,

but if you feel compelled,

you can leave a cheque with Clyde, there.

Oh, look at the time, gotta go, City Hall meeting.

Hey.

Have a nice day.

Me too.

That's odd.

The Mayor didn't hear a word we said!

Well,

he is a politician, dear.

This is terrible.

It's midnight and it's as bright as day.

Gomez, something has to be done.

The children will be here any time, now.

We couldn't find the catapult.

Will this suffice?

Oh, this'll do nicely.

Those streetlights don't stand a chance against Fester's bazooka.

Ahhh~

That's much better.

Yes, but we can't go on like this.

You're right.

We're running out of ammo.

Family,

I've made up my mind.

There's only one solution.

I'm going to run for Mayor!

How about this?

"VOTE ADDAMS."

"BLOWING UP BRIDGES TO THE 21ST CENTURY."

Hmm, interesting. A little long, don't you think?

"YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE."

Perfect, very catchy.

When polling prospective voters,

one should always make sure the pole has been sharpened to a very fine point.

Addams.

Newspaper.

Hello?

Gomez Addams, here.

Yes, I am running for Mayor.

My platform?

I promised to raise taxes,

empty all the jails,

preserve our historic slums,

and most importantly,

no new streetlights!

Well, everybody,

it's official.

Let the mud slinging begin.

Sorry.

Hmm, mmm....

How did this happen?

What did you say, that made him wanna run against me?

I didn't say anything.

The guy's a kook.

Don't worry, no one's gonna actually vote for him.

Clyde, you don't get elected, by actually having to run against other people.

Now I'm gonna have to campaign.

I may even have to keep some of my promises.

Ah, Mr. Mayor.

So nice to see you, again.

In fact, we enjoy seeing you so much,

we'd like to invite you to a little debate.

A debate?

Why should the Mayor debate you?

He's the incumbent.

He's ahead in the polls.

He accepts.

He... !

What?

What are you doing?

You've got the election in the bag!

That I have nothing to lose, do I?

Besides.

I look good on TV.

Great job on the buttons, Tish.

Let's see what it looks like on you.

Glad you went for the extra long pins.

Gomez, Morticia.

Wait till you see my fireworks display!

Giant flaming letters, that spell out,

"Go for Go!"

"Go for go"?

I didn't have enough explosives for the "mez".

What are you cooking up, Mama?

I've made some changes in my Love Potion,

to make it a Vote Potion.

Mama,

can I be the guinea pig?

Well, alright.

Well,

do you wanna vote for me?

Actually, I'm undecided.

Oops.

Looks like you made a Goat Potion.

No wonder I have a sudden craving for tr-a-a-a-a-ash.

So close, Mama.

Anyone got a tin ca-a-a-a-a-an?

Oh, well.

Back to the drawing board.

This isn't so ba-a-a-a-a-aaad.

Whoops.

Sorry.

I don't know about this.

Are you sure they won't recognize me?

Sorry. Do I know you?

It's me.

Clyde.

Would you stop worrying?

You've got the easy part.

Right.

Distract the Addamses while you sneak around,

and find the skeletons in the closet.

Exactly.

Just a little insurance in case he turns out to be a real threat.

Oh, hi there.

I'm a reporter.

Is Mr. Addams at home?

No?

Oh, well, another time then.

What would you like to know, Mr. Brown?

My life's an open book.

More like an open pit, darling.

Tell me, Mrs. Addams, do you and your husband have a... good marriage?

Wonderful. He makes me completely miserable.

Really?

Has he ever, hurt you?

Of course.

But only after he's tied me up.

Interesting.

What was that?

Say!

Those are interesting!

What do you call them?

Ahh.

Le fleur de morte.

Tish! My favourite...

So bleak.

So lifeless.

So... you...

I'll just wait till you're finished.

"Sabotage Made Simple"?

"Great Exploitations."

Oh.

Here's one I could use.

"How To Get More Kick From Your Kickback."

And finally,

Eye of Newt...

Gingrich.

Gee, tha-that smells good.

What are you making?

A Vote Potion.

Anyone who drinks this,

will have an uncontrollable desire,

to cast their ballot for Gomez.

You're, gonna drug the voters, to fix the election?

Oh, just a little bit in the water tower,

and it'll be a landslide.

Would you, um.

Like to.

Give it a try?

No.

No, thanks.

I don't vote.

Say, that's...

That's not bad.

Kind of, minty!

Darn!

A Float Potion.

Got it wrong, again.

... get outta here!

Good heavens.

What are you doing with this boy?

Pugsley's trying to persuade me not to execute him.

What?

So far his argument has been unconvincing.

Why do you want to electrocute him?

The guillotine is out for repairs.

And I need to help Father decide his position on capital punishment.

I've determined that it's cruel, but I don't know if it's unusual enough.

Alright.

In the spirit of Father's election, we'll take a vote.

All those in favour?

Those opposed?

Darn.

Another last minute reprieve.

Mama.

Have you seen Mr. Brown?

Let's see.

My potion should be wearing off...

Just about...

Now.

Ahh, Mr. Brown.

I trust you got everything you needed?

Did you get a good look at the skeletons in our closet?

What... skeletons?

Ohh no.

Meet Cousin Anorexia!

Hey, buddy! Give me some skin.

It's because I'm fat, isn't it?

It's me, you fool!

Mr. Mayor, thank goodness you made it!

That place is a death trap!

You're telling me.

Those people are lunatics.

When the public finds out,

what Addams is really like,

his political career

will be over!

Hahaha!

Gomez.

When you're mayor, will you have to do any actual... work?

Of course not, my dear.

Couple of parades, a little golf.

Some testimony before a Grand Jury.

Hey, everybody!

Listen to what the Mayor is saying about Gomez on the radio.

Gomez Addams abuses his wife,

ignores his children.

And is using his relatives in a scheme to drug and terrorize you into voting for him.

A vote for Addams,

is a vote for cruelty,

chaos,

and pure, evil.

I can't believe the mayor would make such a backstabbing negative commercial.

Clearly we've underestimated him.

You're right.

He said all those nice things about me.

And I didn't even think of running an ad for him.

There's so much about politics we just don't know.

Sorry, Thing!

Children, back so soon from your fact-finding mission?

I sure hope you've dug up something good on the Mayor.

I'd really like to pay him back for his kind words.

Someone must not like him.

We found all these important papers shredded up.

Fortunately, it was child's play to piece them back together.

Broken promises, graft, bribery, embezzlement?

Oh, no.

This is worse than we thought.

If I was old enough, I'd vote for him myself.

Twice.

Well, there's only one thing I can do.

I'm going to throw the election.

Just to make sure everyone knows how wonderfully despicable our Mayor really is.

And I'm afraid I'm going to need all of you to help.

Are you sure a live televised debate is a good idea?

I've got a weird feeling about this guy.

Everything about this guy is weird.

Believe me, when the public sees the Addams on television.

They'll be begging to vote for me.

Uh-oh.

They're, they're not ghoulish freaks, anymore.

They're...

... normal!

The debate will begin with a brief statement from each of the candidates,

and then open to questions from our panel.

Mr. Mayor.

You're first.

Thank you, Alice.

My position is simple.

I want what all the good people in this fair city want.

Safe streets,

quality schools for our children,

and...

Taxes.

Lower taxes.

Thank you, Mr. Mayor.

Mr. Addams?

I completely...

... agree with the mayor.

Mr. Addams, this is supposed to be a debate.

The least you can do is put up a fight.

Capital idea!

Ladies and gentlemen!

Tonight in the blue corner,

in red, white, and blue trunks...

The Mayor~!

Boo!

And in the black, pinstriped trunks...

Gomez... Addams!

Yay!

No hitting below the belt,

no eye-gouging,

and no foot stamping!

Now I want you to touch gloves,

and come out fighting!

Go!

Yo!

Morticia!

Go get 'im, Gomez!

... boxing?

That's so painfully obvious!

Try hitting with your left!

Hit 'im below the belt, son!

Can't we settle this like civilized people?

Don't be ridiculous.

This is politics!

Get 'im, Gomez!

Come on, will you hit me already?

How can I take a dive if you keep running away -- ?

Will it help if I box with my eyes closed?

I guess not.

Gomez is down for the count... !

1, 2, 3...

4, 5, 6, 7, 8, he's out!

Alright, alright!

You win!

Please don't beat me, anymore!

Ladies and gentlemen.

After witnessing the Mayor's forceful fighting prowess,

I've decided to withdraw my candidacy!

Congratulations.

It couldn't have happened to a sleazier man.

Mr. Addams, do I understand you correctly?

You're endorsing the Mayor?

Of course!

After all, he is quite the family man.

He's given the top-paying jobs in the city to his relatives.

Some of whom are no longer living.

That's not true.

I did no such thing.

You're too modest.

We found the documents you shredded.

Why, the money you embezzled isn't nearly enough

to compensate for the campaign promises you broke.

How bad is it?

Well.

I hear.... is nice this time of year.

That's wrong!

Let's get out of here.

Uh-oh.

Better find the back door.

Can't you see this is all a set-up?

I can explain everything!

You can?

Oh, he can!

This is all your fault.

Look, darling, it seems the Mayor will be serving another term, after all.

Of ten to twenty!

Here's to a campaign, well-run!

Here, hold these.

Darling, I still think you would have made a wonderful Mayor.

Or Governor.

Or Congressman.

Maybe, even President.

Why, I bet you could've even been impeached!

I could've been a contender.

But alas,

that's a dream we'll have to pass on to our children.

Help! Help!

Let me down!

As you wish.

Awoooo... !