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[music playing indistinctly on radio]
[low tense music]
โช โช
ANNA: Oh, isโโis your mom not home?
DERRICK: Nah, she's never home.
You guys wanna go in first?
โ Cool. โ [chuckles]
[door squeaks]
[chill electronic music]
โช โช
โ Is it okay to justโโ
[soft piano music]
Put Daddy...
[whispering] I'm gonna take my jacket off.
MAYA: What? โ I'm gonna take my jacket off.
โ Okay.
โ [sniffs] So what should we do?
โ Whatever.
โ [chuckles] Okay.
[both laugh]
โ Do you have any snacks, babe?
DERRICK: Yeah, they're in the freezer over there.
โ Over...
DERRICK: Over there. Through the door.
Look here, umโโ STEVE: What chord was that?
DERRICK: Which one? STEVE: See you.
ANNA: [giggling] Just kidding.
JK.
[indistinct chatter]
โ Oh, my God. ANNA: Totally.
โ Oh, my God. Is this what I look like?
โ You look amazing.
I am so hungry, though. Likeโโ
โ Oh, my God.
ANNA: Wait, look at this freezer.
MAYA: Oh, my God! ANNA: Oh, my God!
โ I'm soโโ
ANNA: Wait, are those marshmallows?
MAYA: Okay. ANNA: Here.
MAYA: Oh, my God.
ANNA: [laughs] I'm so hungry.
โ [giggles]
ANNA: You don't want to go home, right?
Like, you're not worried at all?
โ Mmโmm. I'm not worried.
Unless you want toโโ
Do you want to go home or do you want to stay?
โ I want to hang out with our boyfriends.
โ Okay, yeah. I don't want to go home.
โ You're, like, gonna get your first kiss.
โ No, I'm not, stop.
Oh, stop!
I don't know. [chuckles]
Is my breath okay? [exhales]
โ No, it smells amazing. How's mine?
[exhales]
โ [chokes]
I'm sorry, it's not good. โ Oh, Maya.
MAYA: Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. โ No.
[lively music] KEYBOARD: Here we go.
STEVE: This song's awesome, man.
DERRICK: Heck yeah.
VOICE ON KEYBOARD: Let me do it.
Cool. Cool. Cool.
[overlapping voices]
โ Don't touch my butt. โ I didn't.
โ Wait, would you play that chord again?
STEVE: This one right here?
โ Yeah.
VOICE ON KEYBOARD: Very good. Cool. Cool.
โ [vocalizes to music]
โ Could you cut out the drumming?
We're trying to hit this. You're throwing me off.
โ I think that your drumming sounds good.
DERRICK: Yeah, it's just not matchin' up with our rhythm.
โ Steve, her dad's a professional drummer.
So... โ Oh, stop.
โ He is, though. You shouldn't be humble.
โ I'm not. KEYBOARD: Excellent! Get up.
ANNA: Okay, I'm sorry.
VOICE ON KEYBOARD: Get up, get up, go!
โ [giggles]
VOICE ON KEYBOARD: One, two, three.
Cool, cool, cool.
Excellent! Cool.
โ [giggles] Sorry.
Are you being bad? STEVE: Sorry.
โ You want to check out my watch?
โ Yeah.
ANNA: Ooh! MAYA: Stop.
โ You look good. Sorry.
ANNA: I'm cold.
Thanks, Steve.
โ Yeah. โ What kind is it?
โ Eh, some kind of army. It's got the army paint on it.
ANNA: What are you doing?
STEVE: I'm justโโ'cause I'm cold.
We're both cold. [Anna laughs]
ANNA: Okay.
โ [chuckles]
โ You want to go to my room?
โ Okay.
[soft music]
โช โช
โ Sorry, can we just do over the shirt?
STEVE: Huh? โ Can we just do over it?
Do you like it without my braces?
โ I like it. Less cuts.
โ Who's that?
DERRICK: That's Gillian Anderson.
โ No, below that.
DERRICK: Oh. MAYA: Is that, like,
your exโgirlfriend or whatever?
I'm not mad. DERRICK: No, no.
That's my friend.
I don't think about her.
Did you bring your meds?
โ Um, no, they don't really work for me.
Sorry. Is that okay?
โ I guess.
โ Is this your first time?
โ Yeah. Is it yours?
โ No. I've done it a lot.
Like, a couple times. โ Yeah.
โ Yeah.
โ You mean, a BJ right?
You've had your first kiss before.
โ Yโโuh. Yeah, obviously.
Like, I've had a bunch of first kisses.
โ Cool.
โ I'm ready.
โ Oh, sorry. โ That's all right.
Let me justโโ โ Keep going.
โ Okay.
โ Wait, wait, wait, wait.
โ Come on.
ANNA: No.
You think Maya's a good drummer, right?
โ I mean, I guess.
โ Well, You didn't have her back back there,
and you didn't have, like, her dad's back,
'cause you only had Derrick's back.
And it's, like, who's back do you have?
โ I love you.
โ Don't change the subject.
โ Say it back.
Say it.
โ I love you too.
MAYA: Come on, let's take it off.
โ Get itโโ MAYA: Ahh.
DERRICK: Actually, get this.
MAYA: Okay.
DERRICK: Do you want toโโyou couldโโ
โ Whoa.
What's wrong with your balls?
โ What do you mean?
โ Why don't you have two balls?
โ What?
Oh, there are two, it's just they're inside.
It's not like there's aโโ
โ Oh, so it's like the line isโโ
โ The line? What line?
โ The lineโโit's like it has its own carrying case.
โ Yeah. I guess.
Do you want to stop talking about it?
โ Yeah. Sorry.
[breathes shakily] Yeah.
DERRICK: Okay. MAYA: So I'm gonna start now.
Uh...
[grunting]
โ What's wrong?
โ I finished.
โ I didn't cum. โ Oh.
DERRICK: Yeah, that's notโโ โ Yeah?
โ That's an important part, right?
โ Okay, I'm gonna do it.
DERRICK: Okay.
MAYA: [grunting]
โ Ah, ah! Teeth, teeth!
โ Ah, sorry. โ Yeah, they'reโโ
They're just kind of, like, dragging.
โ Okay.
[grunting]
โ Like that? โ Mm.
โ Like that? [grunting]
[Derrick panting]
โ [grunting]
โ [panting]
โ [grunting] Mmโhmm.
โ Mm. [grunting]
Thanks.
Do you want to kiss?
โ [muffled] I'm gonna go wash my hands.
DERRICK: Oh.
โ But, I'm gonna beโโ
โ [panting]
MAYA: [grimacing]
ANNA: Maya?
STEVE: Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I'm stillโโ โ Maya?
MAYA: Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew. ANNA: Are you okay?
Are you okay? MAYA: Yeah.
โ Did you just get your first kiss?
Mine was so disgusting.
Like, I got mine with Brendan, you know I hated it.
And now, like, Steve is, likeโโ We have it perfectly down.
So kissing's just like that.
Maya, are you okay?
โ I just gave him a blow job.
โ You got your kiss and you got a blow job.
โ I didn't doโโI justโโ
โ Oh. โ I just, likeโโ
โ Amazing.
โ Yeah. Is it?
ANNA: Yeah.
But, what was it like? Did you like it?
Did he like it? โ Um, I don't know.
I, like, think he did, 'cause he just, likeโโ
it was, like, weird, and then he, like, came.
โ Oh, my God, are you serious?
โ Yeah.
โ Wow. So cool.
โ I know.
ANNA: And you were, likeโโ
You were, like, "Wow, yeah. You're amazing."
โ I don't think I want to do a blow job again, though.
โ Oh, yeah. Yeah.
โ I probably am not gonna ever.
โ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'Cause it was, like, gross
'cause of the, likeโโ like, theโโ
โ Can we just, like, go home? ANNA: Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we can go home. MAYA: Okay.
โ Steve, can you drive us home? โ Shh!
โ Let'sโโlet's call Shuji.
Let's call Shuji. โ Okay.
โ Okay. ANNA: Okay.
โ Okay!
โ Steve?
Steve! Steven?
โ [sighs]
[sobs]
[sniffles]
โ [sniffles]
[door slams]
STEVE: Is everything okay?
โ Mmโhmm. โ Yeah.
MAYA: It's fine. ANNA: Mmโhmm.
โ All right.
MAYA: That's him. โ Who's that?
โ It's my brother.
Hi, Shuji.
SHUJI: I don't want to know what happened.
MAYA: Okay, I'm sorry.
SHUJI: You guys take the bike, okay?
MAYA: Okay. ANNA: Thank you.
ANNA: Um, let's justโโyeah.
SHUJI: I got it. ANNA: Okay.
Here, I got you. I got it.
โ I love you.
โ Love you too.
โ Do you have that? โ Yeah.
โ Go. โ Peace.
[mellow music]
โช โช
KATHY: Just do Saturday,
then you can just come and get her.
And then she can sleep in Friday andโโ
no.
No!
I'll just leave her stuff out by the front door.
Otherwise, you pick her up Saturday.
Like, let her sleep in, though.
You know, till 2:00.
Hi, hon. โ Hey.
KATHY: Or you pick her up from school
and then you get her stuff, and then you go.
Um. Okay.
[laughing] Whatever.
Um, how was Maya's?
You didn't sleep over?
I was just talking to your dad
about you going over to his this weekend.
Anna's home.
Okay. He wants to talk to you.
โ Hey, Dad.
โ How's it going, goof?
You still mad at us?
โ Um, I just, like, have some bad news actually,
'cause, um,
a golden retriever killed Daddy.
And it's my fault.
KATHY: Don't say it's your fault.
CURTIS: Sweetie, I'm sorry.
Whatโโwhat happened?
Did the dog steal him?
ANNA: Um, I kind of put it on the dog's head.
And that's why it's my fault.
Sorry. CURTIS: Well.
Just, you know, maybe don't do that again.
All right? You gotta learn from it.
But the dog was wrong, too, right?
โ Yeah, the dog was wrong too.
Yeah. โ [chuckles]
โ And also, like...
I love Steve.
โ Aw. CURTIS: Really?
โ Um, mom. โ What?
But I also don't know about him.
โ Well, what'd your mom say?
ANNA: Um. โ Here.
Put her on speaker phone.
[phone beeps] Kathy?
She loves him.
โ I didn't know. She didn't tell me.
โ But I don't know 'cause he doesn't, like,
always listen to my feelings,
and I don't know about his best friend.
He just doesn't take me seriously.
โ Well, I don't like that.
ANNA: But I also want to marry him.
โ [laughs]
โ [chuckles] โ It's not funny.
โ I'm sorry. ANNA: Don't laugh, Dad.
โ I'm not laughing.
ANNA: Just fix it.
โ Oh, sweetie.
We can't fix everything, you know that.
But we can listen, okay?
โ Okay.
ANNA: Dad?
What are you doing? โ Vacuuming.
Oh, hey, I got the plastic off the oven.
โ Proud of you, Dad.
[crickets chirping]
[muffled voices on television]
โ [sniffles]
[sobs]
[birds chirping]
MAYA: [giggles] Derrick!
DERRICK: Yeah, my snake's been acting real sweet lately.
โ Really? DERRICK: [chuckles] Yeah.
โ This is private. DERRICK: She's always taking
her tongue out... โ Tell him.
Tell him. DERRICK: And licking me.
I know she's just smelling, butโโ
โ When are you gonna tell him?
MAYA: Um, wait. DERRICK: Huh?
โ Okay, it's been 21 minutes of us talking on the phone.
I feel like that's our longest yet, babe.
Derrick: Yeah. Oh, hold up.
I gotta grabโโI gotta go grab
the snake something... โ Oh, okayโโ
DERRICK: Then I gotta tell you something.
โ Okay. Okay, what? He's on hold.
โ Okay, so you're gonna say,
"If you still want to go out with me,
I can't give you another BJ."
โ I want to go out with him.
I just don't want to give him a BJ again.
โ And medicine 'cause my doctor prescribed it.
โ Shh! Anna, I already told him
that part yesterday.
โ Okay! โ Okay.
Wait, nah. Open your mouth.
โ What? MAYA: Your tooth.
โ What? What's wrong with my tooth?
โ Oh, my God!
What happened? โ No, I just got my braces off!
โ It looks crazy.
โ [gasps] No!
MAYA: Anna.
ANNA: No, no, no.
This is why I got braces! Are you kidding me?
โ I mean, honestly, I like you better that way.
โ With a snaggle?
I'm gonna have to get my braces back on.
DERRICK: You still there?
โ Hi, yeah.
DERRICK: Turn on the radio to HOT 106.7.
โ Whatโโokay, um.
Anna. Anna!
He just said put the radio on. Put it onโโon 106.7.
โ Did he get you concert tickets?
โ I don't know!
โ Did he get us concert tickets?
โ [mouthing words]
[static crackles] ANNA: Got it.
["Smooth" by Santana playing]
โ Okay, it's on, it's on.
I freaking love this song.
DERRICK: You listening? MAYA: Yeah.
I'm listening.
DERRICK: Good.
Every time you hear this song,
think about how I'm breaking up with you.
'Cause that's what I'm doing right now.
CARLOS SANTANA: โช Man it's a hot one โช
โช Like seven inches from the midday sun โช
โช Well, I hear you whisper and the words melt everyone โช
โช But you stay so cool โช
โช And if you said this life ain't good enough โช
โช I would give my world to lift you up โช
โช I could change my life โช
โช To better suit your mood โช
โช โช
โช 'Cause you're so smooth โช
โช โช
โช And it's just like the ocean under the moon โช
โช It's the same as the emotion that I get from you โช
โช You the kind of loving that can be so smooth, yeah โช
โช Give me your heart, make it real โช
โช Or else forget about it โช
MAYA: โช It's just like the ocean under the moon โช
โช And it's the same as the emotion that I get from you โช
โช You got the kind of loving that... โช
โ What's wrong with her? MAYA: [mumbles lyrics]
โช Give me your heart...โช โ Mai.
โ โช Make it real or else forgetโโ โช
โ What's wrong with you? They want to know.
โ Nothing.
It's just my high school boyfriend said,
"Every time you hear this song, I want you to think
"about me breaking up with you
'cause that's what I'm doing right now."
So now, I keep listening to this song
over and over again
and keep thinking about how he broke up with me.
So it's just a cycle of listening to this song
until I can get the him breaking up with me
out of my head, so I just gotta keep listening
to this song till it's done.
โ You know what this guy sounds like?
He sounds like a straightโup...
[as Ace Ventura] Loโser.
Look at me.
[imitating zany sound effects]
Hello there!
โ It's, like, not even how you do it.
โ Lo...ser!
โ [as Ace Ventura] Loser!
SAM: Yeah, you'reโโshe's much better at it than me.
โ I'm not.
SAM: So this guy is your boyfriend's best friend?
โ Yeah. Why?
GABE: You know the saying, right?
"You are what you eat."
And Steve is eating Derrick's asshole, so to speak.
So if you justโโ if you draw the connectionโโ
ANNA: So you're saying they're both shitty?
โ I mean, kind of.
ANNA: Okay, genius, thank you so much.
You don't know him.
Steve isn't Derrick, likeโโ
โ Well, picked real winners.
MAYA: [humming to music]
SAM: Maya. Maya!
Do you want to, like, egg this fucker's house
after school?
โ Okay.
โ Yeah? MAYA: Yeah.
โ Okay? ALL: Yeah.
MAYA: Let's do it. Yeah.
[in deep voice] Yeah!
JAFEER: What's up, player?
ANNA: So you're not coming? JAFEER: That was trash.
ANNA: I mean, he only did the most jacked up thing
to my best friend.
Like, he's your friend.
And he's screwing over my friend.
STEVE: I mean, they just don't jive.
She didn't respect his music.
I don't know. โ Oh, my God.
That is not an excuse. He's a psycho.
โ It wasn't cool. โ Yeah, it wasn't.
โ What else do you want me to say?
โ Well, you'reโโ it wasn't cool.
It was dishonorable what he did.
But it'd be dishonorable for a best friend toโโ
โ Okay, so you're not coming?
โ I'm not gonna egg my best friend's house, Anna.
โ Okay, you chose sides.
โ "I'm not in this world to live up
"to your expectations, and you're not in this world
to live up to mine."
โ Not everything is a saying.
Like, it's kind of a cop out.
And you chose sides, and it's not mine,
so I'm not choosing yours.
I don't want to go out with you anymore.
[melancholy music]
โ Anna...
You've made your choice. I respect it.
โช โช
GABE: And I went to the bathroom
and I wasโโand as I was walking into the stall,
it was just like a needle.
MAYA: Nah, he's not coming?
โ No.
โ What happened?
โ Um, we just broke up.
โ What?
Oh, my God.
Are you okay? GABE: Sorry, Anna. That sucks.
JAFEER: Sorry, that's sucks.
MAYA: What happened?
โ Nothing.
Let's go egg this bitch.
โ Yeah. ANNA: Okay?
โ Yeah. MAYA: Okay.
โ Let's just, likeโโ MAYA: Do it.
โ All right. โ Let's go!
โ Let's go! โ All right.
ANNA: Yeah!
MAYA: Okay, stop!
ANNA: Do it. โ Okay, okay!
ANNA: Shh!
JAFEER: Come on, come on, come on.
ANNA: Okay.
JAFEER: Wait, what is this?
GABE: Ew, oh, my God. โ Is this baby squid?
ANNA: Are you kidding me, Maya?
Ew! โ It was all my mom had.
GABE: That's what smells. MAYA: What?
GABE: It's stinky! ANNA: But why?
โ It's fine. SAM: It's jiggling.
โ Wait, what? โ Don't touch me with that.
โ Oh, shit.
GABE: Oh, my God, I touched its tentacle.
โ Oh, no! No! [laughs]
SAM: Dude, actually this is bad.
Look at all the ink. Dude, do it.
โ Ew! โ Shut up,
โ That's gonna get all over Derrick's window.
ANNA: You do it. MAYA: You do it!
ANNA: You do it. JAFEER: Just throw it!
โ Go, go!
MAYA: Oh, my God.
MAYA: Oh! GABE: Yeah, eat squid!
JAFEER: Okay. ANNA: Ew, ew!
[upbeat music]
[singing in language]
โช โช
MAYA: Run!
ANNA: Stop. SAM: Hey, scatter everyone.
Scatter! Go, go, go!
Oh, shit, my backpack!
Go, go, go! DERRICK'S MOM: Hey!
MAYA: Yeah, wait up!
DERRICK'S MOM: Hey! GABE: Bitch!
ANNA: Fuck you! DERRICK'S MOM: Hey!
ANNA: Oh, my God.
Shh, shh, shh. Shh, shh, shh. Can I sit here?
Oh, my God. [Maya screams]
MAYA: Oh, my God! Go, go, go!
[laughing] Oh, my God. SAM: Oh, shit!
MAYA: Shh! Shh! โ Is she still there?
MAYA: Fuck you! โ Shut up!
Fuck you! MAYA: Shh.
SAM: Bitch.
โ How long should we wait? โ I don't know.
How long should we wait?
โ I don't know, that's why I asked you.
โ Okay.
Sorry, I'm just thinking about Steve.
He's just, like, not at all who I thought he was.
And, likeโโ
โ Dude, you deserve way better than that scrub.
Trust me. [scoffs]
โ I don't feel like that right now.
โ You have a little bit of grass in your hair.
โ Thank you. โ Anytime.
โ Sometimes Steve did that. He would takeโโ
โ You want to see something cool?
โ Yeah. โ All right, check this out.
โ You have grass on your butt.
SHUJI: Ready?
[romantic music]
[singers vocalizing]
โช โช
MAYA: Oh, my God. Look at your knees.
SAM: Shit.
My mom's gonna kill me.
MAYA: This looks so stupid.
Where did everyone go? SAM: I don't know.
I hope they didn't get caught.
MAYA: Yeah.
How long do you think we should stay back here?
โ At least, like, 30 minutes or so.
โ [laughing] 30 minutes?
SAM: Something like that. MAYA: No.
โ I don't know. MAYA: That's too long.
What?
โ [chuckles] MAYA: What?
โ You know you're pretty, right?
โ No, I'm not, stupid. Don't say that.
I'm butt ugly. It's fine.
SAM: No, you're not.
You're not butt ugly at all.
โ Are you joking?
SAM: Not today.
Can I see your Discman?
โ Why?
โ I don't know. I just want to try something.
โ Okay, just be careful with it.
SAM: Okay. Need help?
So whenever you hear this song...
["Smooth' by Santana playing]
I want you to think of this.
If it's okay.
โ All right. Okay.
It's okay. โ It's okay?
MAYA: Yeah. โ All right.
CARLOS SANTANA: โช And if you said this life ain't good enough โช
โช I would give my world to lift you up โช
โช I could change my live to better suit your mood โช
โช โช
โช Because you're so smooth โช
โช โช
โช And it's just like the ocean under the moon โช
โช It's the same as the emotion that I get from you โช
โช You got the kind of loving that can be so smooth, yeah โช
โช Give me your heart, make it real โช
โช Or else forget about it โช
[both laugh]
[sentimental music]
MAYA: So cute.
ANNA: Look at my cheeks, they're so fat.
MAYA: Look at your face. You're like...
[both chuckle]
Oh, no, you're so little.
You were so cute.
โ You're so cute.
โ Oh, my God, look. There I am.
So stupid. ANNA: Oh, little baby Maya.
[Maya laughs]
Oh, my God.
I wonder what we'll be like in the future.
โ I know.
All I know is, I want my hair to be, like, super, super long.
โ Yeah? โ Like, to my ass.
โ You will.
[both laugh]
MAYA: Yeah.
ANNA: I can't believe it's gonna be, like,
eighth grade, and then high school, and then college.
And, like... [sighs]
โ Yeah, it's crazy.
โ Do you think that there's ever a time
that we won't be friends?
โ Nah. Why would you say that?
โ No, I'm just saying, 'cause things happen, likeโโ
โ Like what things?
โ Like, what if after college, you get a little bit depressed,
and I'm a little irresponsible,
and we're both just so super dependent
on each other, and I can't take it anymore.
And we don't laugh like we used to?
โ Or, like, the things that we didn't think
would bother us about each other.
Or our parents.
Or the way we see the world starts to eat at us,
and we just get, like, really cynical.
And really just, like, wake up one day
and we're not friends.
BOTH: Or...
โ We share a dorm... โ Mmโhmm.
โ After school. โ Yes.
โ Okay? โ Mmโhmm.
โ And I cook you all of your lunches.
โ Oh, yeah. And I cook breakfast,
dinners, and snacks. MAYA: Yeah.
'Cause you're the only one who knows how I like
my onions to be cooked.
โ I knew you were gonna say onions.
BOTH: Sautรฉed.
โ Sautรฉed! That's it.
โ I know. โ Literally.
And, like, after work, when we're older,
we're probably gonna, like, walk together, like, every day.
โ Yeah, and we're gonna have a double wedding.
โ Yeah.
And then we'll probably get divorced at the same time.
โ 'Cause they got in the way of us.
โ Yeah, and then we'll probably have kids,
like, a couple years apart,
so that you can help me raise mine.
'Cause I'm gonna have issues with it.
โ And we can live on the same property, right?
โ Yeah.
And then when you get sick,
I'm gonna take you to the doctor every day
because it's a block away, okay?
I'm gonna take you.
โ [sniffles] โ I will.
โ We're just gonna protect each other from everything.
โ You promise?
โ And then there are gonna be clouds
that are, like, a little lower in the sky,
like, just around our house. โ Yeah.
โ And they're gonna be really, really soft
so we can just, like, hang out in them
and do, like, whatever, you know?
โ Yeah. โ Yeah.
โ And then, like, I'm gonna, like,
have the angels come down every Friday,
and they're gonna be, like,
"Hey, do you guys, like, want anything?"
And we're gonna be, like, "No."
'Cause we have each other.
โช โช
โ Oh, my God. โ Oh, my God, look!
BOTH: That's when we met.
โช โช
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