Original subtitles

MAYA: We haven't spent a lot of time together.

It's just been moments here and there.

ANNA: ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪

CHORUS: ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪

MAYA: You know, if I'm alone with him,

I can tell him I'm not a slut,

and I'm sorry that people know about us.

I just gotta get him alone.

CHORUS: ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪

♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo ♪

♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪

[mischievous music]

MAYA: I mean, obviously, he has trouble

expressing his emotions, so if I'm alone with him,

he can really open up.

He doesn't like people knowing his business.

♪ ♪

CHORUS: ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪

♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪ ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪

♪ Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah ♪

♪ Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah ♪

♪ Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah ♪

♪ Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah ♪

[chorus vocalizing]

‐ Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh...

CHORUS: ♪ Buh buh buh bubby dub dub dub dubby ♪

[school bell rings] ♪ Buh buh buh bubby dub dub dub dubby ♪

[dial tone beeping]

CHORUS: ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪

♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪

♪ Doo doo doo doo ♪

♪ Doo doo doo doo ♪

♪ Buh buh buh bubby dub dub dub dubby ♪

♪ Buh buh buh bubby dub dub dub dubby ♪

♪ La‐la la la la la‐la la la la ♪

♪ La la‐la la la ♪

CHORUS: ♪ Doo doo doo doo ♪

♪ Doo doo doo doo ♪

MAYA: If I was around, he'd notice me,

and I think the next stop would be getting him

to ask me to be his girlfriend,

and then I get my first kiss.

♪ ♪

[overlapping chatter]

MAYA: And if I got my first kiss,

then he probably would ask me out.

I'd be his GF. Ha ha.

Oh, my God. Maybe we'd go to the same college.

We just need time alone. MR. BROWN: Hey, TJ, come out.

MAYA: But what if he forgets about me?

'Cause we haven't spent a lot of time together.

It's just been moments here and there.

ANNA: Mai.

‐ Oh.

Hey.

Na...

I think I wanna join wrestling.

What?

[Anna scoffs] ‐ What?

[Bikini Kill's "Demirep"] Jett: ♪ I ♪

♪ I am hiding ♪

♪ The you I show to you ♪

♪ Is just a lie ♪

♪ You take what you want ♪

♪ You get what you take ♪

♪ Lie, so high, high, high ♪

‐ Why do you keep looking over there?

‐ I'm not.

‐ You just‐‐why‐‐you only wanna join wrestling 'cause Brandt's here.

‐ No, I‐‐stop saying his name so loud.

He's literally right there.

‐ I just said it‐‐like, not at all.

‐ I‐‐okay. Listen to me.

I didn't even know Brandt was in there.

‐ Okay. ‐ I promise.

‐ Okay.

You were staring right at him, but...

‐ Yeah, 'cause I'm surprised that I found him there.

I mean, like, honestly, I have always wanted to wrestle.

‐ Mai... ‐ What?

‐ Girls wrote "desperate slut" in my chorus folder.

‐ Listen to me.

I hate girls right now, okay?

I'm over them.

I just like guys, you know?

'Cause guys don't gossip,

they don't talk about stuff like that, they're not mean.

I just‐‐I just feel like if we go in there,

we can just try it out.

And if you hate it, then we don't ever have to go back.

Okay?

Just you, me...

and ten guys.

That's it.

‐ No.

No, Mai. No.

‐ Fine! Fine.

But I have an inner voice inside of me

that sounds a lot like my voice,

and it's telling me to go in there and wrestle.

And I‐‐I can't ignore it, so I have to go,

and I'd like you to join

or at least watch and be a good friend.

MR. BROWN: Stay low, Sam.

Lock your hands.

Slam him!

MAYA: Hey, M‐‐Mr. Brown.

I'd like to join wrestling, please.

MR. BROWN: Mm‐hmm.

MAYA: Like, join the wrestling team and stuff.

MR. BROWN: Your calves get any bigger,

you're gonna fall through the floor.

BRANDT: Thanks, Coach.

‐ That's not something we do here.

MAYA: Why, 'cause I'm a girl?

And I'm, like, stronger than everyone here, probably.

MR. BROWN: Uh, yeah. You could get seriously hurt.

‐ Well, um, I think it'd be kind of messed up and illegal

if you didn't let me. ‐ Levels, levels.

‐ And I could probably report it.

‐ Okay. Fine.

You can shadow.

Go stand over there and watch.

‐ Okay. Thanks, Coach.

MR. BROWN: When you come in here, I want you ready to wrestle.

‐ Coach is making me shadow.

‐ Dude, switch with me. ‐ Sure.

[Mr. Brown speaking indistinctly]

‐ Whenever Brandt touches his balls,

it means he wants a hand job.

‐ Bro, shut up.

MR. BROWN: Focus, focus, focus. MAYA: Shut up.

So stupid.

‐ Reach in and grab all your rage inside

and let it out.

This is the place to do it,

not on your mom, not on your date.

Handle it like a man.

[voice fading] Destroy something privately, or, better yet, on a team.

[unsettling music]

♪ ♪

Nice!

♪ ♪

[Anna grunts] MR. BROWN: Drive it! Drive it!

Drive it! Drive it! Drive it!

Nice, Zablowski.

Good job. ‐ [exhales deeply]

‐ That was dope. ‐ Thanks.

MAYA: Sam cock‐block‐‐ so annoying.

Mr. Brown, I'm, like, ready to wrestle.

I've learned a lot from shadowing.

‐ Fine. TJ, partner up with Maya.

She says she's ready to wrestle.

‐ Coach, I don't want to.

‐ Come on, let's go.

‐ Okay.

[whistle blows]

Now? Okay.

[laughs] Stupid.

I wasn't ready. Like, what the hell?

TJ: Coach, can we stop?

[Maya sighs] I feel weird.

‐ Fine, if he doesn't wanna wrestle,

I'll wrestle anybody else, honestly.

Anybody. Just raise your hand.

Like, I'm ready to frickin' go.

Brandt, whatever‐‐ if you want to.

[muttering under breath]

[crowd cheering] ANNOUNCER: Making her way to the ring,

Trish Stratus!

‐ Why don't you just, like, talk to him, then?

‐ 'Cause I don't wanna be like,

"Hey, I'm Terra Newback.

"Let me just talk to you for a long time

while you're bored as hell, Brandt."

Like...I'm not freakin' desperate.

I just want him to know I'm hanging around and stuff.

‐ Maya, I don't wanna hear about Brandt anymore.

‐ Okay, well, that's fine 'cause I'm not talking to you.

I'm talking to Andy. ‐ Who's that?

SHUJI: You serious?

You've never heard of Trish Stratus?

‐ [quietly] Trish Stratus.

‐ Her muscles are gross.

‐ Yeah. No, she's slutty.

‐ Yeah. ‐ Yo, Trish is hot.

She's got my mad respect.

[crowd noise]

‐ Hmm. Okay.

ANDY: Oh, shit! ‐ Okay, I can do that...easily.

‐ No, you can't, dummy. ‐ Yes, I can!

Are you frickin' serious? Look at me.

‐ Maya, no offense but, like, this B could take you.

‐ [scoffs] Doubt that.

‐ Okay, that's what TJ Mulligan thought

before I freakin' kicked his ass.

Did you see that? ANNA: Oh, really?

Oh, what way am I gonna go, bitch?

MAYA: Or, what, bitch? Come at me, bitch.

‐ Your dad can't eat anything.

‐ Guys, move. You're blocking the TV.

‐ He wants to destroy your ass. MAYA: Oh, yeah?

ANNA: Your dad eats soggy potatoes.

‐ And it makes him fart on your face, Anna!

ANNA: You're going down.

Put your money where your mouth is.

MAYA: I'm putting my butt on your face.

ANNA: You're cheating. You cannot do that.

‐ Hey, yo, go, get her, Maya.

ANNA: Stop it. MAYA: You're gonna die,

and I'm gonna be alive.

SHUJI: You're so frickin' weak, Maya.

ANNA: No! MAYA: who's weak now, bitch?

I won.

♪ ♪

ANNA: Mom. The Anna‐sthetizer wants to put you to sleep.

[grunts] KATHY: Aah!

Oh, sorry.

But I just‐‐it's like that, we were just wrestling,

and it was like, "I'm the Anna‐ihilator."

Ooh. KATHY: Anna.

I have a migraine from doing energy work all day.

‐ Well, I've been wrestling all day.

Like, don't make me flip you.

‐ Could you take that gross pillow to your dad?

He left it on my side of the house.

‐ Yeah, that's fine, just bring it to his room.

KATHY: And quietly, please. ‐ Okay.

‐ I can't take it.

ANNA: Dad? ‐ [shushing]

ANNA: Dad? CURTIS: Mm‐hmm.

‐ Um, do we have channel 151?

'Cause I want my Monday Nights Raw.

‐ What? ANNA: Raw.

I want my Monday Nights Raw.

CURTIS: I‐‐I‐‐I think we get, like, to channel one...

hey, what's that pillow doing in here?

‐ Mom just said to bring it to you

because you left it on her side of the house.

‐ I told her already; she can take it to the dump.

But you know your mother.

I mean, she does whatever she wants, whenever she wants.

Don't leave the pillow. I don't want it.

‐ Okay.

CURTIS: I just never pictured

your mom and I's marriage going quite this way, you know.

I've never been more in love with anybody but her

my whole life.

‐ Oh, yeah?

CURTIS: Yet you can still end up

sort of hating people anyway.

You know, if I'm the one that ends up having to move out‐‐

even if I can only afford an apartment‐‐

I'm not gonna resent it.

I just want you and your mom to be happy.

Life can pummel you down, sweetie.

I hope you learn how to pummel back.

‐ Take me now. The Anna‐ihilator!

[imitating shouting]

[growls] [grunts]

[crowd cheering] [mutters indistinctly]

[murmuring] Get up...get up!

[grunting]

Ooh! Ah!

You want some of this?

[grunts]

ALEX: 'Sup?

[crowd continues cheering]

You're hot and strong.

You got my mad respect.

[cheering stops]

GABE: So my mom took me to Kinko's...

latest installment of Weasels.

Which one do you think is better?

I think glossy really makes it pop, you know?

‐ Cool.

‐ Hello? Hey, dude.

I was up until, like, 10:00 doing this.

Glossy or matte? ‐ No, either's great.

Okay? Yo, hey.

Ha. BRANDT: Ha.

What's up, Zablowski?

SAM: Hey.

I'll see you later. Yo, Brandt, wait up!

[background chatter]

‐ Glossy it is, then.

[school bell rings]

[Maya and Anna singing] ♪ Mr. Brown ♪

♪ Mr. Brown ♪

ANNA: Mr. Brown.

‐ [laughing] Mr. Brown.

‐ I just thought practice yesterday

was really inspiring. ‐ Yeah.

‐ Your team is well‐oiled,

and I was just honing in my skills

just about all night last night.

And...do you wanna see them? You don't have to.

[Mr. Brown inhales] But I'll just show you.

‐ Anna! ‐ And then you take it down

to Brown Town. ‐ Stop.

‐ Well, Maya, I guess you have someone

to fart around with at practice, so that's something.

‐ Well, um, I would love that,

except I already wrestled her a bunch.

I don't really feel like that's challenging enough for me.

I was just thinking I could maybe

take on Brandt at the mock meet on Friday or whatever.

‐ Well, I already beat her a bunch of times. MAYA: Well‐‐

‐ Brandt's the... best wrestler in school.

Plus, you're different weight classes.

So... ANNA: Oh, that's okay.

Maya and I can just partner up. [stomps]

‐ [sighs] Um...

just out of curiosity;

how much weight do I have to gain

to be in Brandt's class?

‐ You'd have to gain at least 6 to 12 pounds in a week,

which is unhealthy at your age and could mess you up.

So please don't try it.

‐ We won't.

ANNA: We won't. ‐ We won't.

[White Zombie's "More Human than Human"]

MAYA: You're doing it for me,

but you're doing it for yourself too.

‐ Clear, Maya, go! Clear, Maya, go!

Yeah, Mai. You're bulking.

And you can't stop. [Maya grunting]

‐ [yells]

♪ ♪

‐ This is what it takes.

It's better with a little bit extra...

ZOMBIE: ♪ Yeah, I am the ripper man ♪

♪ A locomotion mind, Love, American Style, yeah ♪

♪ I am the nexus one ♪

♪ I want more life, fucker, I ain't done, yeah ♪

♪ More human than human, more human than human ♪

♪ More human than human ♪

‐ No, little bitch. ZOMBIE: ♪ More human ♪

♪ Than human ♪

♪ More human than human ♪ ‐ Ha!

ZOMBIE: ♪ More human ♪

‐ Sick. ZOMBIE: ♪ Than human ♪

♪ More human than human ♪

♪ More human than human ♪

ANNA: You guys, I'm slamming down the mac and cheese.

STUDENT Can I have a bite of yours?

Um, here's the thing.

If you put peanut butter on the hard‐boiled egg, that's the trick.

‐ What‐‐what trick? How is that a trick?

‐ That is a trick. You get "yolked."

That's what, um, Trish Stratus does.

BOY: She's hot. ‐ Yeah, she is hot.

‐ And muscle weighs more than fat.

‐ [mumbling] Muscle weighs more than fat.

‐ That's what people don't realize.

‐ Anyway, bro. Coach Brown got that new mat.

I'm gonna wrestle yo' ass.

ANNA: So if you're gaining pounds‐‐lbs‐‐

that's not a bad thing.

‐ Anyway, I'm gonna go hit the gym. ANNA: That was so funny

when you did that the other day.

You gonna eat all your peaches?

Oh, you don't say "bye" now?

Oh, my God, the protein's going to her fat‐ass head.

I'm just kidding. [laughs]

Take a picture. It'll last longer, you guys.

Girls are so annoying, honestly.

Hammer fist!

[laughs]

Nailed him.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

[Maya sighs]

MAYA: It's like I'm stalking you.

[laughs]

Just kidding. [giggles]

Are you mad at me?

‐ Why'd you join wrestling?

‐ 'Cause I love WW.

‐ [scoffs]

‐ I have for years, seriously.

I'm, like, sorry people know about our three‐way.

‐ Yeah.

‐ Are you pissed?

‐ Yeah.

‐ Seriously, I'll do anything I can to make it up to you.

Anything.

‐ Yeah? Like what?

What?

[door opens] ANNA: If you take out the yolk of the egg...

you fill it with peanut butter,

it's truly like Reese's Pieces.

How can you say "no"?

DUSTIN: It tastes like my dog's ass.

MAYA: Anna! ANNA: You can't tell the difference.

ANNA: I was gonna lift a tenner.

[person wolf‐whistles] ANNA: Be back soon.

MAYA: Anna. ANNA: Okay.

MAYA: Come on, stop‐‐ ANNA: I don't know why

you keep doing this. MAYA: Stop talking.

ANNA: You want me to get jacked or not?

‐ Literally, I was this close

to getting my first kiss with Brandt.

‐ How was I supposed to know that?

I didn't know that. That's amazing, though.

Congratulations. ‐ No. Thank you.

It's fine, it's great. But it doesn't keep happening

because you keep interrupting.

You keep walking in on us. Like...

‐ Okay, well, I think that you should learn to use

a lock on a door if you don't want people to walk in.

‐ Well, honestly, I don't wanna creep him out.

So I'm just closing the door, and I'm not locking it,

'cause I'm not crazy.

I know it's not personal,

but every time I'm alone with him, you walk in.

And, honestly, like, Brandt and I‐‐

he doesn't really know it yet, but, like,

we want time alone together.

'Cause if we don't have time alone together,

then we're not gonna be able to get to the point

where I have my first kiss. ANNA: Okay.

It's just like, you're like, "Brandt..."

‐ Shh.

‐ No, you're always like, "Brandt..."

‐ Shh!

‐ It's just like, you're like, "Brandt, Brandt,

"Brandt, Brandt, Brandt... ‐ Stop. Okay, okay, okay.

‐ "Brandt, Brandt, Brandt." MAYA: Stop!

‐ And I'm like, "I can't do it anymore."

‐ Stop! ‐ Brandt!

‐ Stop it, Anna! ANNA: What?

‐ You're saying his name so lou‐‐

like, you're crazy, honestly.

‐ Is that your hair? MAYA: No.

‐ Is that Brandt's locker? MAYA: No.

‐ Maya. MAYA: Stop saying his name.

‐ So, you and Maya in here, alone, huh?

So that‐‐that was like... [laughs]

‐ She keeps following me around, man.

‐ Well, you hooked up with both her and Kone, right?

BRANDT: Barely.

I mean, I don't wanna get near their big‐ass bushes.

Their pussies smell like fish, dawg.

I mean, these fingers are clean.

Can't get that stank on me.

[sniffs]

‐ Big, smelly bush. [laughter]

DUSTIN: Oh, shit.

Anna and Maya are BSBs‐‐ big, smelly bushes.

BRANDT: Bro.

‐ Tuna‐Kone.

[laughter]

‐ Yo, Zablowski, you're funny, man.

[laughter]

MR. BROWN: Flyweight.

Middleweight. Middleweight.

Middleweight.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

Jesus Christ, Kone. Middleweight.

What did you do?

‐ [whispering] Come on.

♪ ♪

‐ Another middleweight. ‐ Really?

Does that mean I get to wrestle Brandt?

‐ You made weight, but the pairs are set already.

First round is you versus Blondie.

Whoever wins gets to wrestle

the winner of, uh, Brandt and Sam.

[thud]

[whistle blows]

♪ ♪

GABE: Who do you think's gonna win?

‐ I don't even know‐‐may‐‐ maybe‐‐maybe Sam.

MR. BROWN: Drive it! ‐ Maybe.

MR. BROWN: Use your legs, Sam. Use your legs.

Nice, Zablowski.

♪ ♪

[Maya grunts]

[groans] That was good.

That was great.

ANNA: [mutters] [Maya panting]

[Anna claps]

♪ ♪

MAYA: Get off.

[grunting]

MAYA: Stop! ANNA: No.

[Maya grunting] ANNA: No.

[both panting]

[Maya grunts] Let me win, Anna.

Come on. ANNA: No.

‐ I need to get to Brandt. Stop.

‐ No. [both panting]

[Maya squealing]

ANNA: Oh‐‐ [Maya grunting]

MAYA: I got you. Lookit...

You stay. You stay!

MR. BROWN: She's out.

[both panting]

‐ Good match, BSB. [laughs]

[ominous music]

‐ Where's Brandt?

‐ Zablowski beat Brandt.

‐ You ready for this, Bowl Cut?

‐ Don't call me that.

[whistle blows]

[suspenseful music]

ANNA: Fold him like a ham sandwich.

♪ ♪

SAM: Is that all you got, Bowl Cut?

MAYA: Stop calling me that!

SAM: I'm not calling you that.

I'm calling you "Bowl Cut."

MAYA: Stop it!

Freakin' asshole! MR. BROWN: Language.

SAM: Is that all you got? [both grunting]

MAYA: Get off.

You're ruining everything right now.

I shouldn't even be wrestling you.

SAM: Well, at least I didn't have a three‐way

in the closet with Brandt.

‐ Yeah? You're just jealous

no one would go to the frickin' closet with you.

[Sam grunts]

ANNA: [shrilly] Whoo‐whoo!

SAM: Whatever, BSB. [grunts]

MAYA: What?

SAM: At least I don't have a big, hairy bush

that smells like fish.

MAYA: What?

[Sam panting]

‐ I didn't say that. Brandt and the guys said that.

Come on, fight, let's go. It's‐‐it's not a big deal.

It's just a‐‐it's just a joke.

Come on, let's go. ‐ No, stop!

‐ It's just a joke.

MR. BROWN: Match?

[Maya crying]

ANNA: Here she is, star of the party.

There's my little athlete. ‐ Ow.

‐ You win some, you lose some. ‐ Ow, stop it.

‐ Oh, no. I'm so sorry.

Did I hurt you? ‐ No.

‐ Mai, sorry.

I just thought that's what our buddies do.

You ok‐‐you okay?

‐ They're, um‐‐ ‐ What?

‐ They're calling us "Big, Smelly Bush"‐‐BSB.

‐ Wait. What?

[Maya sniffles] Us?

Oh.

[Maya sniffles]

Oh, like, what is‐‐what is that?

Like‐‐ ‐ It's our pussies, Na.

Our pussies. [sniffles]

That's what the guys have been calling us.

They've been saying that our vaginas are hairy and smell like fish.

‐ [whispers] What? The guys?

MAYA: Yeah. ‐ No, but they're my friends.

‐ Yeah, well, they aren't anymore.

[object clatters]

‐ You can't trust anyone! Ow!

‐ [sobs] Anyone but you.

Our pussies!

[sobs]

ANNA: [whispers] It's okay.

[Maya sniffles]

BOTH: Weasel‐shark.

GABE: Half‐weasel, half‐shark will kill you and your family.

‐ Yo, Zablowski.

SAM: Yo, what up?

TJ: Yo, Sam.

What happened with Maya‐‐ you get a boner?

SAM: I said "BSB" to her,

and I probably shouldn't have said that.

BRANDT: Hey, Sam, you coming?

SAM: Yeah, I'm coming. Hold up.

BRANDT: Ooh, ooh! SAM: Oh!

[Brandt grunts] [Sam laughs]

‐ Wait. Did he just...leave?

I thought we were gonna hang out.

‐ Let's just go.

Wrestling's kind of gay.

ANNA: One, two, three.

Oh, my God. Are you looking?

MAYA: Yeah.

I don't know. It's kind of weird.

‐ I can't tell if it's, like, big, but...

can you smell anything?

‐ [sniffs] Yeah.

Do you?

‐ I think I smell something, but it might not be that.

I don't know. 'Cause my mom's cooking, so...

‐ I'm gonna try mixing it with something.

‐ Okay, yeah. Maybe I have something.

[mist sprays] MAYA: Ow!

‐ Are you okay, Maya?

MAYA: Oh, shit.

I think I burned it. [exhales]

‐ Be careful with it. Maybe it doesn't like that.

‐ [exhales deeply]

[spray hisses] [exhales]

[hiss] [exhales]

‐ I only have lip gloss.

‐ It feels like a little... animal.

Hmm.

Meow. Meow!

Meow!

I need a little catnip.

[snarling]

Fly! [laughs]

Are you still there?

‐ Mm‐hmm. MAYA: I'm gonna go.

‐ Love you, bye.

MAYA: Bye.

‐ [sniffs]

[quiet music]

♪ ♪

[smacking lips]

MAYA: Meow! Meow!

[snarling]

Fly!

[fart sound]