Original subtitles

Do you bath just to get clean?

Or to entice?

Entice your man with peccadillo.

Peccadillo faux bath.

Peccadillo.

Autumn.

It's a time for remembering old friends and old friends.

And antifreeze.

Remember your cousin.

Rock and roll.

I suppose so. That's what it is.

An old one of Kate's.

You don't like rock and roll.

It made the most noise.

Oh, I must have knocked it over.

I'd better catch you up.

Well.

I rang your office.

Oh, no. Why?

To make sure you'd left, that you were on your way.

Who to speak to?

Miss Ames. Oh, she'd love it.

Your wife sounded rather distraught, Mr Truscott. Is everything all right?

Just sniffing for the signs of a break-up.

She just said you'd gone. Ames is a ghoul. She feasts on broken marriages.

Your voice is kind.

You bet.

What else did you say?

Nothing, that was all.

Then I rang Mother.

What? I just had to talk to somebody.

You can't be serious. Just had to.

Talk to her? You actually got a word in?

And she listened?

That's one for the Guinness Book of Records.

You must have been desperate.

Yes.

What started it off?

Hmm?

Something happened.

All this bolting of doors, there must be something.

Do you see something out there?

Somebody.

I don't know.

I told you, I don't know.

All right, I'll tell you about my day.

First, usual office meeting with long, exciting reports from Motor Claims

Department.

Then lunch with Peter Newell.

You remember Peter Newell, eh?

The act jury?

The one who tells all the jokes?

Well, he told his jokes while I tried to bring him round to the subject of

reinsurance. You have to remind me. I must ring him at home. Oh, not now,

darling. And then... afterwards, I stopped off and bought you a little

present. Oh.

The ones you wanted.

Yes, thanks.

They don't look much like gardening tools, but he said they were. They're

special, lightweight.

Now I can get on with lifting those bulbs.

Mr. Wicks lets me.

I bought some trays this morning in the village.

I did quite a big shopping.

Just left Mrs.

Norman to it. Do a big clean-up.

Then, after lunch... Only got a rest, I hope, when you're sleeping so badly.

Yes, I went to bed and had a rest. I took a sleeping pill.

A pill? Perhaps I shouldn't have, but I did.

All it did was give me nightmares.

Yes, it would.

Nightmares in the afternoon.

All of a sudden I woke up and I felt so unreal and awful.

The pill?

No. Listen, it was as if something had been happening.

Here? As if something had happened and I hadn't known about it.

In a way I had, as if I'd been aware of hearing.

What?

Just confusion.

It all went away quickly. You know how a dream doesn't.

I got up and felt terrible sick.

Well, I'm not surprised.

You shouldn't. I know, I know, I know.

You didn't sleep off the pill and then you had a drink. Or however many you've

had.

Worst possible thing.

All right, you find the house a bit oppressive at times.

Empty.

We knew it would be. We talked about that before Kate got married.

The point is you don't have to stay in it. We've got neighbours.

The Gibsons are over 60 yards away. She's always glad to see you. The

Gibsons are out. I rang them too.

Ah.

What is it?

A car.

Where? Down the lane. It was there when I got up.

Oh, yes. Just make it out.

Open-top sports car.

Doesn't look anything very sinister.

Did you see who was in it?

No. Lovers, probably.

There's a style into that field.

I noticed the door was open, the driver's door. Yeah, I think it still

is. Yes, it is.

All that time, just left like that.

Sort of abandoned.

Looks quite a new car, too.

I mean, why would anybody... Unless they had to. Kidnap, you think?

Do you suppose?

Hijack's a better word.

Hijack in Blackberry Lane.

Is it really called Blackberry Lane, or is that just us?

It probably hasn't got a name. Anyway, it's that sort of title, like all those

paperbacks you keep getting. Where do you get them?

Every single cover with a nude model squirming and fur and blood and a gun.

May poor old Freud turn in his grave. I thought for a second you were serious.

But I am. I'm throwing all my professional expertise into gauging.

assessing, evaluating a problem of that car.

It is parked in a lover's leg.

People go hopping into that field like rabbits to have it off.

Come harvest time, Bill Tucker must be grateful if there's a single stalk of

corn still upright.

That explains it. I'd have thought so.

Just lovers? Yes.

It's cold and dark now.

Well, what do you want me to do? Go down there with a flashlight and chase them

out? On your way, please? Too late in the year for that sort of thing?

You think I'm a fool? I think you're still finding ways to work yourself out.

I know, like Kate's letter. The big panic.

And then the gypsies and the fuse box and that business over the barbed wire.

If you'd only start by admitting that you do it.

I don't want to make noises like a bloody analyst, but you see what I mean.

It's a kind of indulgence, a giving in.

We can't afford that, Angie.

It runs us dry.

We're not children any more.

We've got to keep our problems strictly practical. Things we can find a way to

cope with.

All right.

Good.

Strictly practical. That's right.

I bet you forgot about supper.

So, what the hell. We'll just get a snack and get an early night.

For one strictly practical thing, we've got a rat.

What?

Here in the house.

I can't hear it now, but I could before I kept on hearing it, scratching and

gnawing. That's why I made so much noise. That stopped it. Why on earth

didn't it tell me?

It had stopped. But I mean, if it got you in such a state... I hate... But

this is exactly the sort of thing. We can cope with it.

Perhaps you already have. That racket would have scared anything off. No, I

don't think so.

Well, where was it?

Well, over there at first, and then in the corner under the floor.

You wanted Buster to make a bit of it. Buster?

You did call him. When you've got a big dog like that... Of course I called him.

Well, then...

I showed him the spot and he sniffed and barked a lot and he jumped about in here

and in the hall.

He got very excited. I bet he did.

A job to do at last, the lazy brute.

And then he started whining to be let out as if he'd frightened it outside and

wanted to chase it. Yeah, well, he'd hear it running.

So I let him out the back way and he ran off.

Did he get one?

They always bring it to say.

He didn't come back.

What? He just went.

The old shocker must have lost the drift.

Lazy brute. I don't know why... I came back here and heard the rat again. Oh.

That's when I put the record on. Gets excited, doesn't know what he's doing.

Hey, if he's after sheep again, we're in trouble.

Old Bill Tucker will simply have us. It's the back door.

Oh, yeah.

Buster!

Buster! Here, boy!

Come on!

Good dog!

Bloody disadvantage.

Buster?

Try again in a minute.

Not a sign of him. It's back again.

Right on the bastard. Not the teeth clean out of his head.

Didn't like that, did you? That's carpentry.

That's all

it takes.

Oh, no.

You went down the cellar. No.

To get that.

Out of the fridge.

It didn't touch the door, the bolt. Well, she bolted that, too.

It bolted everything. What on earth?

No, it couldn't push doors open.

Anyway, it wasn't in the cellar.

And it isn't even a cellar. It's only a glory hole.

It was under here.

Nothing down there but the foundations.

Rubble. Nothing for it.

Got fed up, started chewing its way out.

Was that it?

Well, you try hanging upside down to a floor joist and chewing through a board.

You'll see if it's fun.

Anyway, that's enough of that.

He's out there now.

Scared stiff.

Or with luck, being eaten by Buster.

You know, I'm worried about that dog, though.

He's an idiot.

Cheers. Cheers.

I'm sorry.

You just had a bad day.

I read an article that when people get older...

Their brain cells perish.

That means getting stupid.

You're still ahead of Buster.

Seriously. All right, seriously.

Well, when I think of our friends that break up, suppose I got really stupid.

You couldn't stand me if I got really stupid, could you?

Oh, Anne.

Look,

I'm going to make that one phone call and get it done, all right?

Oh, hello. Could I speak to Mr. Newell, please? Oh, I'm afraid he's not home

yet. Oh, isn't he?

No. Would you like to leave a message?

No, I'll catch him another time. Oh, just a minute.

Hmm? I think he's here now.

Oh, good.

Just got in.

Newell, yeah?

Peter, Rod and Trasker. Oh, hello. Peter to it. I've been home for ages.

I've got a bloody sight further to go, old boy.

Well, I won't keep it from that drink. Just one small PS to what we agreed.

On the second stage layoff, I think the limit ought to be 9.25%. Fair enough.

You may take it. That's all.

I'll leave it with you. Right.

Hey, listen.

What about that crap on the radio?

Crap? They have got a car radio. Of course. Well, then. I will listen to the

music. Good Lord, you miss everything.

They get the most marvellously funny items.

Well, they had this bit. It made me think about you. It was about your part

of the universe.

Peter... And I thought to myself...

Trust Scotty, he'll be listening to this. I wonder if he's seen anything.

Seen what?

Bloody rat migrations.

Oh, a joke item.

Rather more freaky than jokey.

Reports about rats crossing country roads.

People have seen them, thousands of them. Yes, sounds very amusing.

No, no, no, perfectly serious.

One for your collection.

It does happen.

I've read about it. All bloody columns of rats on the march. Well, since I

didn't hear it, I... Peter,

I won't keep you from that drink any longer.

Nine and a quarter percent, all right? Right.

Be seeing you. Right. Bye, Peter.

Bye.

Bloody fool. Once he gets started, you can't... Migrations.

Oh, you heard?

Yes, well, that's exactly what bothers me about him. He fills his head with

that sort of thing.

And then those terrible jokes?

He admits it. A mind like a litter bin.

All the same, I have to trust his judgment, and suddenly I find myself

wondering, should I? No. What? You don't. You're just talking.

Yes, about Peter Newell. It's important.

It's business. You said it was happening here. I don't think so.

He did. Reports coming from our part of the... Part of the universe. His exact

words. If you think that... He meant here.

Bring him back.

No. Ask him. I will not.

ever happened to our beautiful evening. I hate the sound.

Put it off! There might be something.

And now, back to...

Anyway, it's funny.

You listen to them?

Sometimes.

And now, the studio is filled with the past.

with mildew and cobwebs and old, old people from the 60s like these.

I'm going to look for that doc.

There is something.

Weather?

Wait.

I gather a couple of his fans phoned in. Would you believe fans?

To say they'd seen large quantities of these king-size Mises crossing country

roads on for meal, so to speak. Whole columns of them numbering thousands.

Well, I said to myself, if it came from Ollie's... Of course it's a hoax.

Hoax, hoax. Of course it is. Do you think they... It seems the furry folk

are really out and about tonight.

We've just had confirmation from no less an authority than the Automobile

Association.

Over to Karen at the AA.

That's right, Barty. A patrol van radioed a report in just now that it was

held up by a rat swarm for ten minutes. Wow, let me work this out.

Assuming a rat flow of X rats per square yard per hour, it's a hell of a lot of

rats. Where was this, sweetheart?

Hampshire, somewhere south of Basingstoke. Oh, look out, Basingstoke.

Lock up your cheese.

Anything else, Karen?

Ooh, that congestion on the Winchester Bypass has now cleared.

Tom, I love you. And now, on with the show.

Don't turn it off. Just turn.

You heard her.

And where?

There's probably no connection.

No, you can leave that if you like.

It's under here.

Two.

Yes. What do we do? We don't get an estate.

I'll call the local police. What do you expect them to do, bring traps? I'll ask

their advice.

That car's still there.

I can see it in the moonlight.

Please. Hello, my name's Truscott. I live on the Lower Denton Road.

Have you had any reports about excessively large numbers of rats in

this district? Rats?

I just heard an item on the radio. It spoke of rat swarms crossing roads,

blocking them.

Topping traffic, sir? Well, we are calm, sir.

It was an AA report.

That'll come my way, sir.

The point is, I think I've got rats here in the house.

Many? A couple.

Well, at least.

We'll set a dog on them, sir. I can't.

They're under the floor. I can hear them.

You don't think there's any connection then?

With that report, I mean.

I see.

Yes, I understand.

Thank you. Good night.

What did he say?

Oh, it's all perfectly normal. You'll get rats on the move at this time of the

year out of the corn stubble. So we just called our council rodent operation to

operate our rodents.

Classing us as townies, you see.

A real countryman would know how to shift them. He'd have his ways.

Well, I suppose they...

Smoke them out or gas them. Don't try it. They might be aware. Set the house

on fire.

I could ask old Bill Gibson. He's very practical.

Boringly practical, but over something like this. Am I not back yet?

No, just as soon as they are.

It's so loud.

Well, it's the wood. It exaggerates it. A sounding board, I think.

I think there are more than two.

Cheeky. They're getting used to us. Yes, well, they're supposed to be adaptable.

That's how they succeed as a species.

If you can call it success.

Running around another species' sewers and drains and eating garbage.

They steal eggs, do you know how?

One of them lies on its back and takes the egg on its belly and another toes it

along by the tail. Well, I've read about that. People have seen it happen.

What are they doing?

They're digging themselves in.

Corn stubble's got a bit chilly, so they're moving in here when it's warmer.

In here, though.

I don't want them in my house. Bloody, foul, filthy, diseased.

Darn it! Darn it!

Darn it!

Darn it!

Darn it!

Does that mean they're getting bigger? Oh, not at all. Or cleverer, craftier?

No, no, no. I really must object to the term super rats used in that sense.

But that's how most folk would use it, Mr Dodd, surely.

Perhaps so, but it really isn't correct.

For these rats aren't bigger or in any way different.

Except in that one particular that they have become resistant to poison. Through

natural selection.

Exactly. The damn super rat is entirely sensational while I'm... But surely, if

they do have this immunity, it must mean they're able to breed in huge numbers.

Oh, yes.

Enormous. I mean, that's our great problem. Last question, Mr. Dodge. Fire

away. For any of our listeners who happens across one of these rat swarms

or migrations, have you a word of advice?

Just this.

Stay well clear.

It could... be nasty. Thank you, Mr. Dodge. Thank you.

Is it a bird? Is it a bat? No, it's Super Rat.

Oh, all right, everybody said it, so it's my turn.

Naughty Barty.

Now we'll take a short break.

Water.

Mist, son.

Super. Oh, he said there was nothing in that. I know.

God, they love it, don't they?

Trying to frighten themselves.

Super, these things are bloody sub-vibes. We need to remember that.

I'm sorry about the supper. I was being stupid.

Oh, well.

Who the hell will supper?

I think perhaps that's what we both need. Something to eat and sit down and

stop thinking about.

Perhaps we ought to get out of the house for a couple of hours. Have a meal

somewhere. Why don't we?

Do you really want to?

Yes. I didn't think I did, but it might be a good idea after all.

There's that place we keep forgetting to try that's supposed to be so good.

Golden Keys or Cross Keys or whatever, you know.

Now? Yes, I can put a face on. It won't take a minute. Just walk out of here. We

could. Just like that.

Oh, Roger.

A bit of soft candlelight, a few waiters poncing around and we can just forget

all about this? Just for a couple of hours. Let's go.

You've really got the wind up. I hate the noise they make. I find it creepy,

you know that. They scare you.

Please. Well, they don't scare me.

And if you think I'm going to leave my house to be infested, then you don't

know me. After all these years, you don't.

This is an infestation by vermin, and I am not a man just to run out and let it

happen. What can you do?

I'll fix them. Don't worry.

We don't have a proper doctor, but no problem. You just tear up a floorboard

and shove him down there. Bloody bastard!

He was never any good.

Not from the beginning. I knew he wouldn't be. I said, don't get that one,

but you insisted.

All right, it's my fault. Out of the whole litter, it had to be that one.

You liked the pattern of his spots, that was it!

Well, a lot of good spots are doing us now!

Roger.

had one or two about mice, but they're little cozy.

Even had one about cats from a fellow that must have been hard of hearing. No,

it's rats only.

Rattus, rattus. Oh, erudite party.

Now, here is a number that's so old the grooves are carved by hand.

What are you looking for? Something to use.

Here, too.

I know.

Roger.

Come with me, quickly. I want to try something.

Found the tools, anyway.

Quickly. Oh, what now?

I thought they were and they are.

What are you driving at?

Don't you realise?

They're following us.

No. They are.

They're following us, whichever room we're in, wherever we go.

Angie, stop this.

What they're doing? I'll tell you what they're doing. They're exploring.

They're stretching about down there amongst the floor, joyous to find places

to make nests because they are vermin, and that is what vermin do.

They're starting to infest our home. Suppose they're more than that.

What do you mean?

Cleverer. You heard that man just now. Suppose he was wrong. He was obviously

some kind of an expert.

He said they developed an immunity to poison.

That means...

Chromosomes and genes and all that sort of thing. I don't understand it. I never

could. But couldn't something else have developed as well in them? It was one

specific poison.

It happened to be the best I ever found against them. It made them bleed to

death. Oh, yes. Right. You wipe most of them out with that. Any that are left

must have some kind of natural immunity. And then if they breed, you start to get

a new strain.

That's what I mean. They are different. You can't kill them the same way. Not

with that particular poison. If that was all it meant. It is!

What's this for?

You trying to get me going too?

Perhaps you ought to leave.

You get out. Give me a chance.

That's it. Get over to the Gibsons if they're back. Or into town, find a hotel

for the night. Just pack a bag and go. I'm on my own.

It's up to you.

I'm sure there was some left. What?

Spirits of salt.

Acid? Yes, strong stuff. I used it for cleaning out the drains that time. Oh,

what will it do?

Not much on its own, but... She uses chloride of lime, doesn't she? Mrs.

Norman? Yeah, thank God, she's old-fashioned.

Where'd she keep it?

Chloride of lime? Yes, come on, she uses it for scattering around the bins. Where

is it? I don't know. Well, think!

Perhaps it's outside, in the shed.

No, I remember.

Try there, behind the bulkster.

Saves trouble.

Well, see what school chemistry can do, what I can remember of it.

Only question, does the reaction require water? Oh, but I have some handy, just

in case it does.

Time to douse things if the need arises.

If I can get this log down to where they are, it'll generate chlorine gas, and

they won't like that, by God, they won't.

If it just worked through to where they are.

The tap.

Oh, bloody airlock.

It's there.

Don't stop. They got through the pipe. How could they? They can with their

teeth. They can. I've heard that. They put teeth in the water whenever there's

a doubt. There is no bloody drought. No, there isn't. So it wasn't them.

But if they did it. There'd be no reason. If they still did it.

Hot.

Plenty of that.

Work all the better too.

I'm going to gas them, bastards.

Aren't you gonna watch?

Is this you in your bed?

All lumps and bumps and agony?

Don't miss the big betting event at all Wiener stores, starting Monday.

Have you got your whiskers on?

One for Grandpappy. It was an old day when he was an 80-bitty boy.

the studio. I mean, can you put me through? I want to speak to Barty Wills.

Now. Please.

It's about raps. He's just been talking about them on his program. The one

that's on now.

My name?

This is Angela Chaska, but please, it's a matter of urgency.

Rodents is not yet over. We've got a lady on the line with more to tell.

Angela Prescott. Hello there. No, no, no. Oh, my God. Look, the sweethearts.

What are you doing to us?

Engineers all fainting with shock. What happened?

Have you got a big radio there? I don't understand.

It's just a spot of howlback, one of those technical things.

I've had it on all the time. I had to, you understand.

Forget it, love. It's fine now. Just carry on. Yes.

Angela, I gather you've seen some more of our furry friends on the march.

Well... No, not exactly.

How's that?

Well, I mean, I haven't seen them. I've heard them. What were they doing?

Crashing through the bushes?

I mean, I can hear them now, at this moment.

Rats? Yes, in the house. Not too nice, but don't worry, I'm sure... My

husband's doing something, but... Get a dog. Borrow one. A big, growly pooch

that goes... Hey, hey, hey, borrow me.

Well, thank you, Angela. No, wait, wait, please, listen.

That man that you had on the program just now, he talked about them. Oh, Mr.

Dodge? Yes, is he still there? Well, we just called him up. Oh, I see.

And now Angela... Can you get him again?

He's probably out setting his traps, but if you need advice... No, wait, listen,

please.

There's something wrong. What do you mean, wrong? In them.

The rats?

Yes, I know it. I'm sure of it. Go on.

Well, they've always been afraid of people.

We've always poisoned them and killed them, and they knew we could. I guess

so. Well, now our most deadly poison doesn't work on them anymore. That's

right. So won't they know that too?

I see what you mean. So now we're the enemy that doesn't always win.

So they don't have to be afraid of us.

And if that happens...

If they stop being afraid.

Hey, that's quite an idea.

It's not just an idea.

Angela, sweetie, you've got the whole studio with its collective hair standing

straight up on end. I need it.

I can tell.

Now, listen, Angela, I want you to hang on there. Give me a sec for the old tic

-tac, right? We're going to try and locate Mr. Dodge and really go into

this. Meanwhile, folks, a tiny break.

They can help us. Angela, sweetie.

What you did here? You meant all that. Yes.

Must be raving.

It's true. It's what they're doing.

Raving!

Those things that know, that don't think.

It's crude instinct to find shelter.

Hello there, Angela. Are you still with us? Yes. I'm sorry. but we

can't get hold of Mr. Dodge. But let's talk about this notion of yours. Maybe

you're onto something. I know I am. Put it into more scientific terms.

Ho, ho, ho, learned party.

And it shakes out something like this.

As the rats that survived the poison got started again, were kind of re-evolved,

there was a side effect.

Yes. Is that what you meant? Yes. A kind of shift towards aggression?

Yes. Angela, is there anything specific that got you going on this?

Specific? You say you've got rats there in the house. Has anyone been attacked?

Tell him.

No. So we're still in the area of interesting speculation.

The car. What's that?

The car in the lane.

It couldn't have been a dream.

They were screaming out, those people, and I heard them.

And that's what it was.

Angie.

It was, it was.

What people? What happened to them?

Now Angela I'm sure things can't

Listen to me.

And I'm afraid of them, and they know that, too. Is your husband there? Yes.

Can I speak to him? Yes, but he's afraid, too.

The boot's on the other foot, don't you see?

Now it's time for us to be afraid of them.

And we are afraid, and we need help.

Can you help us?

Angela. Yes? Why don't you get out of there and make a break for us? But

they're outside. One snack, if you're right, over around the outside of the

house. Hell, what can we do with these people?

Okay. Angela?

Yes? Now, Angela, are you listening? Yes. Whatever's going on there, you

obviously need help. We're going to see you get it, fast as we can. Oh, thank

God. Thank God. First thing, tell me exactly where you are.

Well, it's Hampshire, out in the country, about ten miles south of

Basingstoke. Off the Winchester Road.

A31. Angela?

It's off the A31 and then a B road to a village called Lower Denton. Angela, can

you hear me? Where do you live? I'm trying to explain.

It's off the A31 and then a B road to Lower Denton. But it's rather hard to

find. There are so many little roads. Angela!

What is it?

Angela, Angela, sweetie, I have got to know where you live.

Oh, no.

Can't you hear me?

Pete, check with the switchboard, quick.

It's cut.

That's definitely not our answer.

No, Angela, if you've still got that big, noisy radio of yours switched on,

hear this.

We're going to do all we can. We don't know where you live, apart from a rough

guess at the area, but we have got your name, Mrs. Angela Prescott.

I did it! I did it!

I did it! We're going to try and come up with something after this break, which

we are obliged to have.

How's that time to do it?

The new brochure is an honest brochure with a small print detail in big print.

Greece Italy

Spain All on offer at bargain prices

All yours from Wild and Wild

If anyone listening has friends named Prescott, Whiteman, and Blur, will they

start in a...

You've got to be serious.

Put it on, Roger.

Go for the eyes.

Come on. Come on.

Go on, quickly.

Get it in.

Do it up.

Do it up.

Quickly.

Do it right. Roger.

Now look.

We're going to make it to the car.

Come on, Roger.

We'll make it to the car.

And once we're inside, come on, leave it.

Once we're inside, it doesn't matter how we go.