Original subtitles

You know I'm all about that beef with a Swiss.

Little gravy drip, do a double dip.

That's what you call a double dip tri-tip. My belly's craving pastrami and

ham.

And my belly's craving the brain.

Margaret.

What? No offense, but it's kind of hard to rap like we do. We're kind of on

another level.

Who says I'm trying to rap? Maybe I'm a poet, okay?

Everything okay, Margaret?

I'm taking this poetry elective. I thought it'd be fun, but poetry is,

like, really hard.

And there's a live reading.

No one said we'd have to do a reading.

What if my poetry sucks?

It probably will.

Don't listen to Rigby. You'll do great.

Thanks. Guys, guys, guys, guys.

You want to smell a deceased bod?

Huh? I just heard two botanical workers in the bathroom.

Apparently, the corpse flower is blooming soon.

Metal! It only... It only blooms once every few years.

Its signature stench of death has been on my smells bucket list since I was a

kid, along with the perfume of the bearded iris and some other smells that

I'm not comfortable discussing publicly.

That sounds great, Eileen.

When are we doing this?

It's going to bloom on Thursday afternoon.

Eileen, don't you remember what else is on Thursday afternoon?

Well, of course. I have it right here.

Urban foraging group, beatbox improv.

My poetry reading.

You promised you'd go.

You're right. I totally blanked. It's fine if you want to go see the corpse

flower instead.

I'll just go practice more poetry.

I feel terrible.

I don't want to miss the corpse flower bloom, but I don't want to let Margaret

down either.

Why? Margaret said it was fine.

Rigby, she did not think it was fine.

Well, don't worry. You can do both. I give you my rig bonafide guarantee.

Really? Really? How?

Not everything has a how or a why, Eileen.

They just are.

Like, why does the corpse flower smell like a corpse?

Actually, it's a technique used to attract their native pollinator, the

flesh fly. Well, the Rigby guarantee needs no explanation. Trust me. Wow,

this is so exciting.

I can't wait.

Dude, how are you going to pull this off?

I've got a plan.

Three hot chicken sandwiches.

One for you, one for me, and one for Muscle Man for letting us use this car.

Ugh, they forgot the napkins.

Looks like we're making good time, Eileen.

Oh, so detailed.

Right on schedule.

Wow, Rigby, I've never seen you so organized before.

I'm impressed.

I got a real plan, Eileen.

I'm not just winging it like I always do. I just want you to have your flour

and smell it, too.

Mmm, the chicken sandwiches aren't the only thing that's hot around here.

Just cleansing the palette. Whoa!

I'm so excited.

I've been neti potting all day.

Don't want to fill up on smells before the main course. That makes perfect

sense to me. According to my plan, it looks like we'll get there just in time

to see it bloom.

Why hasn't it bloomed?

The corpse flower will bloom precisely when it's meant to.

But the website said it started an hour ago.

Who can truly predict the path of a desert snake? For the moment a banana

ripens, it could be a while before the stench of death is whiffable.

Well, how long's a while?

Nature doesn't work in minutes.

Do you think we'll make it to Margaret's reading in time?

Hmm.

Great day for a corpse flower to bloom, isn't it?

Listen, what's it gonna take to get this stank stinking? You know what I'm

saying?

Nature doesn't work in bribes either.

Yellow leather, red leather. Yellow leather, red leather. Yellow leather.

Hey, Margaret.

Sorry I'm early. I could come back.

No, you're right on time. I'm just so nervous and it's so hot in here.

Yeah, it's probably the layers.

I need the layers as far as a thing.

Find a chair if you dare. I don't care.

Actually, I care very much. Please, be seated.

This is the worst day of my life.

Let me make a phone call.

The flowers at 10% bloom! 10% people!

Wow, so interesting that nature works in percentages, but not minutes.

Yo. Dude, Margaret's freaking out. She's wedged between two bookshelves.

Where are you guys?

I'm working on it, but this stupid flower's messing with my plan.

Ditch the plan, man.

Do the best you can with the tools you have.

Now that's poetry, my brother. Are you going to use that?

Margaret's freaking out? That's not good.

If I have to choose between a smell and a friend, I choose the friend.

Because you need someone to tell about the smell.

The rhyming is making me anxious. We should go.

But I made you a rig bonafide guarantee.

And that should be worth something.

But I understand.

Let's go support Margaret.

I'm taking a whale dessert. break now. Back in five.

I've got a date with some tater tot hot dish.

You coming? I'll meet you in the car.

What was that?

What was that? So weird.

What's that on your hand? It's definitely not potting soil. Let's get

out of here.

Doing the best I can with the tools I have.

And the tools are my pen, my paper, and my heart.

That's not how I said it. Thank you, Pappager, one of our best. How am I

supposed to follow that up?

Our last reader is... Margaret Smith.

It's time to come to the podium.

So please make your way across the linoleum.

Margaret Smith.

Margaret Smith!

Baby, is everything okay?

It feels like you're driving kind of fast.

Oh, you're allowed to drive this speed at night.

Oh, no.

Are we still gonna make it? We will. Just leave it to me.

You smell that?

Smells like... Like a dead body.

Sweet... What kind of monster would do such a thing? Let's see what kind of

sick slop jockey we're dealing with.

Hello! Can I help you with something, officer?

We're gonna need you to pop the trunk, sir.

Oh, I can't do that. It'll ruin the surprise.

Surprise? You playing games with us?

Games with you two are fun, I'm sure, but we're kind of in a hurry to a poetry

reading. Poetry reading? That's a terrible alibi.

Murderers don't even like poetry!

What? Rigby, we're gonna miss it. Just open the trunk.

We know you have a dead body back there.

What? Open the trunk, son.

Dispatch, we're gonna need backup.

Uh, uh, uh... We're free to go if you say what!

What?

Hey, they're getting away. Yeah, because you said what. What? He said, we're free

to go if you say what. And you said what. Oh, diet.

Well, we gotta go after them. I don't know. It's almost the end of our shift.

We have to go after them if you say what? What?

Woo!

Oh,

actually, that seat is for Eileen.

Yeah, sure. If Eileen shows up, I promise to move.

What does a promise really mean anyway?

Rigby, why did... Those cops think we have a dead body in the trunk. I'm going

to be real. The plan is spiraling out. What do you mean?

Did you do something stupid?

What I did was give you a rig bonafide guarantee to smell the corpse flower and

go to Margaret's poetry reading. Wait, wait, wait. Does the trunk smell like a

dead body because you're hiding a stolen corpse flower in it?

Sandwiches? Margaret!

Eileen! I'm so sorry I missed your reading. I feel like such a bad friend.

Actually, I haven't even gone yet.

If you still want to hear it, I saved you a seat.

We don't have time to deal with this chaos right now! We only have the story

until eight, and we have one more reader!

Way to go, dude. You made it. Just don't let me fall asleep.

M is for Margaret.

A is for awesome.

R is for really awesome.

G is for great.

A is for amazing.

R is for really, really awesome.

E is for excellent.

Pungent, like a sharp cheese.

if it was my poem that cleared the house or what, but I don't even care anymore.

I'm just glad you guys are here.

Well, thank Rigby.

He gave us the rig bonafide guarantee.

I'm sorry for doubting you, Rigby, though I do feel bad for the bookstore.

And for the docent at the Botanical Garden who's in for a rude awakening

when she gets back from her break.

But other than that, I'm really touched by how much effort you put into this.

Well, yeah, that's what you do for your- Freeze!

Wait a second. Is that a corpse flower?

Yes! Oh, yeah.

I guess they weren't murderers after all.

Do we have to go to jail for fleeing that traffic stop?

Well... We'll call it even if we can have some of those chicken sandos. No

way! Promise not to chase me if you say what?

What?

Thank you.