Original subtitles

Shoovery is not dead.

Oh, just slightly wounded.

I need to know more, Barrington.

Let's just say that ignorance is bliss.

But why aren't you a happier person?

I knew you had great style.

Well, all I need is a little inspiration.

MUSIC

I really think we ought to get the blue dishes.

Blue dishes... are the wrong colors.

You've got no class hovas.

Yellow and white... or hit the road.

No taste.

But I love the lady.

Yellow and white so important.

No.

Sorry to interrupt this little argument.

Hi, Mike.

I was just saying goodbye to Carrie.

Yeah, I know it's going to be tough being apart for two or three hours.

It's okay.

She'll be in good hands.

Hey, you're going with me.

See, I don't have to marry you.

I can do better.

Right, Mike?

Just name the day.

Well, you always did have good taste.

Bye.

Bye.

Well, Carrie must be a good influence on you.

I remember when you had a punk haircut and twenty-pounds of chains.

My sordid pass.

Yeah, I was the only guy in law school with a degree in street gang.

I didn't stop you from becoming an assistant DA.

Yeah, but you know I could have ended up in the slammer.

Thanks to you.

I was really proud of this kid.

He prosecuted a crook I'd caught named Matt

Rainey and sent him up for a ten-year stretch.

When do you want me?

The hearing will be in about an hour.

You'll be witness number four.

Great.

That gives me time for a cup of coffee.

See you then.

This guy Rainey was mean and rot, but he was smart enough to make himself a deal.

He was about to trade testimony for time on.

Dave wasn't happy about this neither was I.

Letting Matt Rainey out of jail was like releasing bubonic plague.

Barrington.

I'm going to file a protest on this.

Your client complained of an assault in prison.

I've arranged security.

By having me board here?

Under escort?

Do you think I'd reveal this location?

Like a shot, Jensen.

You're crooked enough to have a rubber pocket for stealing soup.

Always.

That slanderous.

Sue me.

I'd love it.

Relax, guys.

This is illegal proceeding.

Rainey's agreed to testify.

Yeah, Mike Hammer put him in prison and you let him bargain his way out.

Amen.

Hello, Dave.

This is Bob Rainey.

That's right.

I married Matt Rainey three years ago and found out what he was two years ago.

You helped put him in prison and, well, frankly, I'm grateful.

That's why you're here to testify.

I didn't have much choice.

Open her up, boys.

What a surprise.

My nearest and my dearest.

I'd shake hands, but they won't let me.

We'll waive the civilities, Rainey.

My client has volunteered to cooperate.

You know the regulations.

We'll move handcuffs past security.

The other two women are waiting in the hearing room.

Let's go.

I'm ready.

Nobody moves!

Nobody ever gets to move again.

Well, again.

I've blown away a cop.

Always starts a heat wave.

You might be worth a change.

Key!

I'll lock the gate.

Come!

It's tomorrow.

Come on, Barbara.

I need a little company just to keep everybody cool.

Come get me.

Hey, one volunteer hostage to go.

Let's get going!

Back!

That dearest ain't going to go any second!

Matt Rainey's death was certainly no loss to society.

But at what price?

They didn't make it here.

I heard.

What happened?

One scuzz ball and handcuffs and he breaks right past Allia.

Rainey's dead.

There's nothing left but charred bones.

Yeah, well, that's too bad for Dave's sake.

I wish he were alive so I could take Rainey apart piece by piece.

Hey, Mike, we were set up.

Remember Jack Rogan?

Rainey's pet hitman.

And partner.

You busted Rainey out.

I got an APB outta.

Well, that's not good enough for me.

Where you going?

Honey!

Hey!

I knew it was gonna be tough to find Matt Rainey's compadre Jack Rogan.

But there was something even tougher that I had to do first.

Well, that was a short hearing.

Where's Dave?

What's wrong?

Bad news, Kerry.

Matt Rainey broke loose.

He had a gun.

Dave was in the line of fire.

Is he alive?

He didn't make it.

It's not true.

We were just picking out dishes last night.

He wanted some stupid blue dishes.

How had Jack Rogan found out where the police were taking Matt Rainey?

Only four witnesses knew where he was gonna be.

His wife, his ex-wife, his girlfriend, and me.

I didn't tell him.

I went to see Rainey's lawyer.

I knew I'd find the three women there.

His will was about to be read.

Do you need direction?

As a matter of fact, I do.

Okay.

But one hand here, one hand here.

Close your eyes and pucker.

I'd love to, but unfortunately I have to get to Matt Rainey's wheel reading.

And there.

Thanks.

Are you related?

I certainly hope not.

Ladies, please!

Mr. Hammer!

This is a private conference.

Perfect.

I'm a private investigator.

My camera.

Oh, yeah.

Matt talked about you.

He hated your guts.

The feeling was mutual.

I think he was even a little afraid of you.

Oh, I'm glad to hear that.

Barbara Rainey.

Ah, the grieving widow.

And you must be the ex-wife.

Guilty, but accentuate the ex.

You married him fast enough, darling.

I was young and stupid.

What was your excuse?

I won't dignify that with a reply.

Barbara, you've got to watch a lot of soap, Barbara's.

And you are?

I'm Susan Lancaster.

I liked Matt.

And he loved me.

You were twice a wig, Matt and I.

Matt told me that making love to you was a miracle.

Because it meant raising the dead.

Why, you little...

You little... Girl, they were... Ladies!

Ladies!

Jackson, control your clients.

Thank you.

Look.

A friend of mine was killed because Jack Rogan tried to spring Matt Rainey.

Now, Rogan knew exactly where to be, and he knew exactly what time to be there.

The question is, how did he know that?

Who told him?

Nobody knows anything, right?

You're all innocent.

Well, in that case, I'm sure you won't mind if I just stay and hear the will.

Be my guest.

I have nothing to hide.

I've noticed.

Mr. Rainey's instructions were a trifle unusual, but perfectly legal.

This was his last will and testament.

Mr. Rainey made this tape before he went away.

Just before his little trip to the Slammer, right?

Right.

Well, I must be dead.

What a shame.

But here you all are mourning me deeply.

Barbara, Susan, Gail, being of sound mind and loving disposition.

I bequeathed all my earthly possessions to the three women who graced my life.

Barbara Rainey, Gail, Stor's Rainey, and Susan Lancaster.

But I'm not going to tell you what you're getting.

What?

I'm giving each of you one-third of the directions.

All you have to do is cooperate.

And you'll be rich.

Or dead.

Darling, Matt.

Because a lot of other people will be after that money.

So have fun, girls.

And I'm looking forward to seeing each of you.

Wherever the hell I am.

Bet it's not with the big guy.

Is that it?

Yes.

Except for these.

I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

And not yet, darling.

I'm going to think about it.

Me too.

Look, ladies.

We don't all work together on this thing.

You're not going to find the money.

And I'm not going to find Rogan.

Maybe you're looking for the money.

Money is not important to me, Ms. Lancaster.

But I'll tell you what is.

Dave Hovis was a very good friend of mine.

Now, somebody set him up.

And I certainly hope it wasn't one of you.

Ladies.

Mike, I didn't help Matt escape.

Well, you can prove it by helping me find Rogan.

Show me your third of the direction.

I'll have to think about that.

Well, you better think hard.

Look, I don't want any part of Matt's rotten money.

But there's a story in this, and I'm a sportswriter.

Since when is murderous sport?

It's news, and this could be a big promotion for me.

Look, we have to talk.

Okay, I'm ready.

Why don't you come with me?

Where to?

My current assignment.

I think you might like it.

It's fine, then.

Did I do anything for you?

You already did.

I'll play Girl Guide.

Thanks.

Nobody knows if this is for real.

There'll be a lot of women who like to play.

Yeah, I met a few in my time.

Miss Rogers?

Hi.

Hi.

Daffy Rogers?

My camera.

What?

Hey, John.

I thought you had a will reading today.

Oh, we just came from it.

And you have something I want.

Sorry.

Hey, that wasn't bright lady like.

Oh!

It's

quite like a man.

There's

some hormone shots.

Thanks.

That's what I like about women, no two or a leg.

We're here on A&E.

Rogan had obviously known about the will and was waiting for Gail at the gym.

After her little workout, she came over to my joint for a shower.

For some weird reason, I trust you.

Oh, yeah.

I really don't trust you.

Mine.

For some weird reason.

I don't know what's in here yet, but I'd like to go over it in private.

To cover your story?

To cover my tail.

When I married Matt, I thought he was into sports, not heavy crime.

When I found out I got out as fast as I could.

No alimony, no payments.

I just shut the door and left.

But now, I'm back in the swamp and there are alligators out there.

That's paying rainy accompaniments.

How did you meet him?

Driving a car.

I raised pro stockers.

I'm a jock.

Not world-class or anything, but I can write about anything.

I raised cars.

He owned cars.

It seemed to make sense for a while.

A marriage made in Detroit, huh?

Was Rogan his partner at the time?

I don't know.

I didn't know anything about Matt's lousy business or his crummy partner.

Mike, I'd tell you if I did.

I want to help.

Then help.

Look, you're holding one third of the clues right there.

Let me have a look at it and maybe I can get a line on Rogan.

Excuse me.

Susan, come in.

What are you doing here?

That was a dumb question.

We were talking.

Oh, yeah.

I bet you made great conversation.

You did like a beer?

No thanks.

Well, you didn't waste much time laying it on the line, did you?

I guess Mike's just got great taste.

Matter of fact, he's terrific.

It seems as sweet Sus come here to make you and offer you couldn't refuse.

Sorry, I interrupted your chat.

Maybe another time.

When you get your apartment cleaned up.

Susan, now wait a minute.

Susan!

Susan!

You're playing all three of us, aren't you?

You know, you don't make my job very easy.

That's right.

I'm not.

I had a feeling that one of these women would lead me to Jack Rogan.

Gail didn't seem to be in the mood.

So I located Barbara Rainey at the cafe more darn.

One of those places where the artwork keeps you from noticing the food.

Allow me.

Oh, sure he's not dead.

No, just slightly wounded.

You mind if I join you?

Well, you're a friend.

My camera, this is King Steel.

Oh, yeah.

I've seen you wrestle.

The time I broke the swankless back.

No, the time that you raised Gorilla Joe's voice a couple of octaves.

That's the name.

I hope I didn't hurt you too much.

That's okay.

I'm left-handed now.

Listen, if you don't mind, I would like to speak to the lady in private.

A king, Gorilla.

I mean, what?

I'll get us a drink.

Beer, in a can.

And now we can talk privately.

I, uh, I think we can help each other.

Good.

Because I want Jack Rogan.

Mike Darling, what I want is all that lovely money.

Well, so does Rogan.

And now that Randy's dead, he's gonna be after you.

Mike, the three clues add up to big money.

And it's finder's keepers.

Now, you get the other pieces of the will from Galen Susan.

We put them together and...

We could have a great time.

Sorry, sweetheart, money doesn't interest me.

Well, I was married to Matt Rainey for three years and I took it out.

And I earned what I'm going to get.

He frees us out, right?

He's really covering all the bases.

Just until somebody strikes out.

Then come with me, Mike.

The only thing she has to offer that I don't is about 20 extra pounds.

It's called a figure, Darling.

And you know, I've had just about enough of you, so why don't you just...

Take it easy and relax.

Are you going to let him push me around, King?

No.

Do you like the rest of the camera?

Not at the moment.

Like the man said, you just won, but...

He ain't gonna kill him!

Listen to her!

I'll get back from her.

Do you like modern art?

What?

Love your friends.

At least Susan seemed willing to talk to me.

And I was hoping that she'd be some help in finding Rogan.

She took me to a place where she ran a business for Matt Rainey.

But I really wasn't in the mood to have my legs waxed.

Oh, care for a perm?

I could really meet your hair, Colonel.

Hill it, kid.

Your head is going to your head.

Witch?

Hey.

What are you doing?

What's going on?

Relax, Mike.

You're all tense.

Well, I...

You're a Leo.

I can tell.

Bad week for Leo's.

Actually, I'm a Gemini.

It's bad for them, too.

You need serenity.

Let me help.

I need Jack Rogan.

Not a wave and set.

Well, not both.

But first things first, take off your coat and drop your gun.

Oh, sorry, sweetheart.

I feel naked without Betsy.

What's wrong with naked?

Nothing as long as I still have my gun.

Challenges turn me on.

Information does it for me.

Have you got some?

Yeah.

That was into laundering.

Money.

What, for the mob?

You got it.

You see, Rainey and Rogan ran hot money through legit businesses like this.

And kept 20%.

How much is 20%?

Over the last couple of years, it added up to about... eight million dollars.

Eight million dollars?

For Rainey and Rogan incorporated?

For Rainey.

He hid the money.

So Rogan busted him out to get his hat.

That's why I'm telling you this, Mike.

You see, Rogan's after us now.

And I need help.

In the worst way.

So I think we should be free.

Hey, give me a piece of the will.

So Barbara can have it?

No, honey.

So Barbara and me can have it.

Careful, these are hot!

Come on, come on!

Come on!

My fur!

Don't worry, sweetheart, I'm from animal control.

Why, you!

Right there!

Hold it right there!

Would not fit.

It's not a candle!

That was fantastic.

You get both ears in the tail.

And this.

Things weren't progressing as easily as I had hoped.

I was beginning to think that before I saw this

case, three beautiful women would drive me crazy.

You sure you're okay?

I'll be fine, Mike.

Listen, I'll call you after the x-ray.

Bye.

Mike, what happened here?

Don't ask.

Wait right there, I want to talk to you.

Emma, you are a one-man demolition there because all is necessary.

Just to save my life.

I repeat my question.

King Steel usually does this kind of damage for money.

Yeah, but not for eight million bucks.

Come on, Pat.

Look, I'm grateful for the information on rainy's money laundering operation.

We'll take it from here.

Don't call us, we'll call you.

Wrong, Barrington.

Listen, the money is my only handle.

I've got to use it to pull out Jack Rogan.

Miss, a few questions, please.

Mike, the word is why rainy was in prison.

Logan put a move on his lady.

Yeah, which one?

You got me.

Mike, are you all right?

I'm fine.

I heard you're some trouble.

Listen, you told me you were going to give me a clue so I could find Rogan, remember?

Yes, don't worry about it.

I promise I'll give it to you.

Just as soon as I finish the story, I'm not.

Why don't you come with me?

Where to now?

I'm low on insurance, you know.

Love it.

All right, let me ask you something important.

Do you live around here?

I do, right around the black.

I knew you had great style.

Well, all I need is a little inspiration.

Thanks.

I think that deserves a gold medal.

Oh, this is what it takes.

What's this?

It's a key.

Great deduction.

For what?

That's all I got.

That's all I know.

You are the investigator.

Well, thanks a lot.

I'm going to go take a shower.

Again?

Save me some more water.

I brought some champagne.

Oh, thanks, but I drank beer.

Oh, Mike, you're all sweaty.

Yeah, well, I've been working out.

I was just going to take a shower.

Oh, good.

I can wash your back.

Well, listen, Susan, would you mind waiting in the bedroom?

That's what I had in mind.

Are you expecting me darling?

Or just up to mistake?

I brought you some imported beer.

Oh, thanks, but I drank domestic.

Listen, where can I find King Steel?

Oh, Mike, I heard about that.

I'm so sorry.

I really don't know.

But I'd like to help anywhere I can.

Well, let's start with your third of the will.

All right.

I guess that means we're going to be partners there.

More like a corporation.

What do you do in here?

What are you running here?

I'm a champion.

I mean, I thought you'd have something.

All right, all right.

Hold it!

All of you.

Playtime is over.

Now, listen, three people are dead.

You keep clawing at one another and that number could be six.

Now, let us all, in the spirit of love, peace, and

cooperation, do whatever we can to help me find Rogan.

I've already given Mike my one through the directions to the money.

Okay.

I'll go along with it.

My third's in the bank.

Deal me in.

Good.

And just for the record, I don't want any part of Matt's money.

Just the story.

Just to let you know, Gail, I do want the money.

And any other goodies I can get.

The problem is, I can't really blame her.

Wait a minute.

All three of these women were using me to get what they wanted.

But it didn't matter.

The pieces of the puzzle were coming together and I was getting closer to Rogan.

Hey, how you doing, Mike?

Hey, Rogan.

Listen, you gotta help me out.

I got a real problem.

Calm down, Michael.

This is Donna.

Hi, how are you?

Now look, what can you tell me about this Rogan?

Absolutely nothing.

What?

Absolutely nothing.

I can.

You can?

He's moving, staying out of sight.

But he was talking before he disappeared.

What did he say?

He's going for eight million cash.

And to get it, he's gonna blow my camera away.

Really?

Well, finally some good news.

That is not a rational reaction, Michael.

Muchi, if he's gonna blow my camera away, that means he's gonna have to show up.

And that is all I really care about.

Thank you, Donna.

You still need to see a shirt.

Hey, Mike.

I just spent in the paper.

You know King Steel.

Well, not very well.

I think he is terrific.

Let's see like in person.

Oh, he's a funny guy.

I knew it.

I love him.

Well, listen, I'll try and get you an autograph picture.

Okay.

Thanks, Mike.

It was kind of ironic.

I spent all this time looking for this guy.

And now I find out he's looking for me.

I called a meeting of the Matt Rainey trio in

hope for once they'd be willing to harmonize.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Oh, hello, Mike.

Ladies.

You want me to take notes, Mike?

Well, it's a terrific idea.

Okay, we better get started.

Yeah.

Did everybody bring their share?

You already have mine.

First, I think... Well, I am not... Oh, come on, not again.

All right, cool it.

Carrie, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to break in.

That's all right, sweetheart.

Come on in.

Excuse us, ladies.

What can I do for you?

I just wanted to ask you, at the funeral, Mike, would you say a few words for Dave?

Sure, I'd be honored.

I would have called.

I didn't want to be alone anymore.

Do you want me to stay with you, Carrie?

Stop it!

Oh, you're on dead!

Easy, Robert.

You!

Get the envelopes!

Move!

Bring it here!

You killed Dave.

Carrie!

It are here on A&E.

Thank you very much.

Jack Rogan made a big mistake.

He shot Carrie instead of me.

Don't worry, Mike.

We'll get Rogan.

Yeah, but when?

After he kills somebody else?

Now he's gonna have to raise his money and we

don't have a single clue as to where that is.

Hammer, I suggest you leave this to the authorities.

I need to know more, Barrington.

Well, let's just say that ignorance is bliss.

Then why aren't you a happier person?

Better right to be upset.

Poor girl.

Now Rogan's got away with the directions.

No, he didn't.

I saw him take your envelope.

Yes.

But I took this out first.

Good girl, Susan.

I don't understand it.

I think I do.

Looks like an infrared map scan from the satellite.

Military view.

And I think I know somebody who might be able to read it.

Oh, he's a cake.

Especially with the right lubrication and the right view.

Come on, Rosie.

Now I need some answers.

Now what about the satellite scan?

Oh yeah, it's an infrared computer enhanced...

...clevel way of giving directions without being obvious.

Rosie.

Oh, here it is.

See it's local.

20 miles from the city.

It's not even a town.

What is it?

Barbara, what did your clue say?

I don't remember.

Oh, come on.

Barbara, you've got to remember something.

Well, I read it a dozen times and it didn't make any sense.

It was just a bunch of gobbledygook and I don't remember any of it.

Well, it was something about an oven.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Come on.

What's your problem?

Staying in good health.

Don't sweat it.

After you wreck my place.

That's why I'm here.

I'm sorry.

It wasn't.

I apologize.

It was fun.

You do real well for a little fella.

You do okay yourself.

I was just trying to protect Barbara's interests.

I guess I got carried away.

So, I apologize.

Accepted.

Great.

By everybody you drink?

Not right now.

Barbara's trying to remember her part of the will.

Oh, yeah.

That blown off an housing.

Aren't they?

Off an housing.

Overhead cam, turbo charged.

I'm on a car.

How did you know that?

Always had a good memory.

That's a car.

I think I know where that is.

Come on.

Really?

Sure.

How about that drink?

It's on me, Jenny.

No.

It's on me.

I'm Jenny.

And wrestling is absolutely my favorite sport.

I imagine you can show me some of your favorite hold.

You are funny, aren't you?

Say.

One in a bit.

I can't name the last 10 greco rumble in the gold.

No.

Vehicle storage.

This is where old taxi cab's come to die.

Okay.

We've got all the pieces.

This is the key that goes to the car which your piece described.

Well, we just have to find it.

We'll start looking.

I don't even know what I'm looking for.

Stock racing car with an indie type engine.

One piece, rigid body frame configuration.

Just keep looking.

Open house.

Wait a minute.

Somebody's been working on this car, Gail.

This is it.

This is the one.

Bingo.

It's too big for a hood ornament.

Must be Rogan.

And he's dead.

Aren't you?

I told you I wanted to make a deal.

I just had to find the right partner.

Hello, Mike.

Hello, rainy.

When you got me this time.

Tell me something.

How'd you do it?

This body got burned in that fake accident.

Skid Row.

We got to get the name.

Right size, it worked.

Why, they're running around.

You hit the money, Matt.

Why can you just go pick it up?

Rogan.

Take the money and run where?

You chased me the rest of my life.

So you used the will and your harem to smoke him out.

I'm in the showing up here so you could waste it.

Matt wanted to kill him and go.

But you turned up a little too soon, Mike.

I forgive you, Mike.

And the eight-winged bucks hidden in the car?

Used to be.

Get away here.

Peace, Mike.

Gently.

Barbara.

Everybody stay cool and nobody gets hurt.

It's been fun, Mike.

They

all buy me a new face and a new name.

So long, Hammer.

He's got to kill.

He's trying to cut us off.

Grab that cab.

We better split up.

This time I knew I wouldn't be seeing Matt Rainier again.

Unless it was in somebody's ashtray.

Carrie was out of intensive care and her wounds were healing.

The pain was still there.

The pain is something we all have to live with.

Mike!

We've been looking for you, Hammer.

We made a little bet.

Who won?

You did.

But for the moment anyway, I was smiling.

Tonight, it's out of this world.

And all new voyages take off at Telly's Gym in Leaven, Pacific.

Now, jewel thieves pull the old switcharoo on Remington Steel, next on A&A.