Original subtitles

Previously on Dwight in Shining Armor...

Till today I'd never encountered

the victim of a memory thief.

Now, I've encountered three at once.

You mean to say,

our memories have been stolen?

They were taken

without your knowledge or consent.

Which of our memories were stolen?

I couldn't say.

Find the thief.

Ah.

You must make sure

these little brunches are just so.

All right, everybody ready?

Ah, champion boy!

Champion boy!

Behold, my beautiful buffet of brunches.

You mean the brunch buffet?

So many little brunches of many shapes and sizes.

See, we have little muffin brunches,

and little pastry brunches

and tiny little doughnutto brunches,

all made with the blood, the sweat, and the tears

of my Swine and Slosh cook.

Not literally the blood, the sweat, and the tears though,

right?

What is literally?

Doors open in five minutes, everybody!

Remember the Teacher Appreciation Brunch

is the one day a year that we spoil our teachers,

so pile on the love, guys.

Oh, big smile, Gretta!

Ah.

Love the energy, Zeke!

Hairnet, Baldric!

Uh, hold still!

I do it!

I-I've got it!

Gah.

Don't help me.

Ah, Sir Dwight.

When do I perform for the peasant teachers?

Uh, let's say, 15, 20 minutes

after the buffet opens.

Principal Shoemaker will make an announcement.

And I will be ready.

Ha!

Oh, ooh.

Ha.

What a festive holiday, this Teacher's Appreciation Day.

Right? It is my favorite Woodside High tradition.

Hm?

Oh, uh.

Just, uh.

Oh.

Nope, you don't, uh.

That's.

Ah.

Great.

Hand-squeezed.

'Kay.

Oh, you ready to roll, Zeke?

Yeah, I'll get a mix of videos and stills

so we can optimize all social media platforms.

Nice.

All right.

Everybody ready?

Si.

Baldric?

Hm?

Okay.

It's showtime.

Hey everybody, welcome!

Happy Teacher Appreciation Brunch!

Come on in!

Come, honored guests!

Hand-squeezed.

Let us teach you how to relax and be appreciated.

Dwight!

Gretta!

What are you doing in here?

Uuuuuh.

I c-couldn't say.

That is a great question.

Okay, well,

how about you two take your business

outside the faculty men's room?

Yeah.

That's, that's a good idea.

Um, I'm, I'm just, I'm, yeah--

Oh, um.

Lead on, Sir Dwight.

Okay.

Gretta?

Why are we wearing football helmets

and shoulder pads?

Why do you have a bunny in a bag?

Eh-- What?

Holy moly, I have a bunny in a bag!

That's what I just said.

Why? Why?

Why do I have a bunny in a bag?

There must be a sensible explanation.

Well, I'm gonna need

more like ten sensible explanations.

Like, why were we in the faculty men's room...

sharing a stall?

Why are we dressed like football players?

Why do I have a bunny in a bag?

And why don't we remember anything?

Okay, that's five.

'Tis strange.

Yes, 'tis.

I hate to say it, Sir Dwight.

We're both thinking it.

Someone has stolen our memories.

Yep.

Someone here in this peasant school

on this very morning.

Oh, that is so creepy.

Think, Sir Dwight!

What's the last thing you remember?

Uh, I, uh, um, uh,

the Teacher Appreciation Brunch.

Ah, yes.

To the faculty lounge!

Okay, so about a thousand years ago,

there was this princess, Gretta,

and she was in big trouble,

'cause she had lots of enemies, and not a lot of friends.

So, her court magician, Baldric cast the champion spell.

It put everyone in the woods to sleep

until a champion would come,

break the spell with his kiss,

and deal with Gretta's big, scary enemies.

But that guy never showed up.

Instead...

Ahhh!

they got me.

Ah!

Ow!

Principal Shoemaker, what happened?

Raccoons.

Pardon?

Well, a whole pack of them.

I didn't see it myself, but apparently they uh,

ransacked the brunch buffet.

Foofoo!

Foofoo?

I was sick with worry.

Oh, how's my little Foofoo, huh?

How's my little bunnikins?

Yeah.

Okay, careful, people.

You're gonna track orange juice everywhere.

Okay, come on.

I missed you.

Oh, good--

Foofoo is your bunny?

Oh, Foofoo,

who would I pull out of my hat if I lost you?

Oh, she's part of your magic show.

Ah, see, there is always a sensible explanation.

But how come I had her?

'Twas a time of chaos, Sir Dwight.

'Twas?

When?

During my spectacular performance

for the peasant teachers?

What happened?

Mayhem!

You mean the raccoon attack?

'Twas no raccoon, Sir Dwight.

'Twasn't?

'Twas a speed demon.

A speed demon?

Don't you remember?

Uh.

The last thing I remember was

we were setting up

for the Teacher's Appreciation Brunch,

Principal Shoemaker was by the mic,

Gretta was holding the orange juices,

you were backstage,

Zeke was getting ready to video...

Where's Zeke?

Maybe he has video of what happened.

Wait.

Where is that?

That's Zeke's phone.

Why is it in a fruity tart?

Locked.

Of course.

We have to find Zeke.

Did either of you witness the raccoon attack?

Not personally.

I was watching the magic show when it happened.

Female Teacher: I was buttering my sticky buns.

Um, have uh,

raccoons ever disrupted a school activity before?

Female Teacher: Hm, there was one time back in '86 or '87,

uh, the raccoons got into the snack shack

at the football stadium, they ate all the nacho cheese.

Oh! Zeke!

Thank you guys.

Hi!

Hi, hi.

Hope you enjoyed the brunch--

Hi.

Dwight, Gretta.

Good to see you.

We need all our people power on this raccoon attack story,

all right?

I want an exclusive online before sixth period.

Zeke, did you get any pictures

of whatever happened at the brunch?

I don't know, I can't find my phone.

Where was it?

In a fruity tart.

Fruity tart?

Wh- Why was my phone in a fruity tart?

You don't remember?

Uh, no.

Show us our self-mes.

Uh, okay.

Joining us today,

exclusively for our Teacher Appreciation Brunch,

I am proud to present the one and only--

Oh, there I am.

Brodogg the Astonishing!

Oh!

Who wants to see some magic?

Yes.

What was that?

The speed--

The speeeecies of raccoon, yeah,

that's the one.

Aggressive little guys.

Get him off!

You ever see a raccoon do that?

Uh, yeah.

What is that thing?

You, you know, I can't,

uh, uh, I can't really make it out,

it's, uh, pretty,

okay, yeah, now,

I see it now.

Brodogg called it the speed demon.

The, the speed what?

Uh,

Sweet heaven--

speed demon.

Ahh!

Give chase!

Woo. Hoo.

I'm not sure what I expected,

but it was not that.

The speed demon has taken Baldric.

W-w-wait.

Why?

We can only assume its purposes are evil.

Maybe, maybe not.

We must find Baldric before it's too late.

Whoa-

everybody just hold up!

All right.

Nobody's going anywhere until I get some answers.

Who are you really?

I am Princess Gretta the Besieged.

Ruler of Rogemore,

and the last heir of the House of Moondragon.

And Mr. Baldric is...

My court magician.

And you guys are here because...

Baldric cast a spell to save our lives

putting everyone in the woods to sleep for a thousand years

until my champion awakened me.

Her champion?

Yep.

Awakened you how?

Doesn't matter.

It does.

He kissed me.

On accident.

Fate.

'Kay.

'Kay?

Paradigm shift just, just takes me a minute.

Oh.

Paradigm shift.

Okay, who is this speed demon

and what does it want with Mr. Baldric?

We, we don't know.

We must find him.

Agreed, just one more question.

I was there, right?

Taking those videos with my phone,

so why don't I remember any of it?

So, that's a really weird story.

Weirder than the story

that she's a thousand-year-old princess

from a magical kingdom and you're her champion?

Let's say equally as weird.

Go ahead.

Blow my mind.

Well, our best working theory right now

is that our memories were kinda... stolen.

Stolen?

By a memory thief.

A memory thief who erased your memory

but didn't get a chance to erase your phone.

Send me everything you've got on the brunch.

Um, all right.

Da, da, da, da.

Done.

Great, now, can you get to class and cover for us?

Please?

On it.

We owe you, man.

Let's go.

Mr. Hammond: Hey, Zeke!

Have you seen Dwight and Gretta?

Not since this morning.

Do you have any idea

why they might have been hiding

in a faculty men's room a few minutes ago?

Uh...

Wearing football helmets?

Unh-uh.

Huh.

There!

Baldric.

Hey, we'll find him, Gretta.

Okay.

Woodie the Woodchuck?

Uh, quick! Quick!

Get him out!

Wait, oh, I got it!

Jacopo?

He's unconscious.

But, why?

A blow to the forehead from the looks of it.

No, no,

why is Jacopo unconscious dressed as Woodie the Woodchuck

in a trashcan?

Only he can say.

Wh-wh--

Quick-quick-quick!

Uh, uh, get him up!

Get in there, chin up.

Okay, good, Jacopo.

Spin, spin, spin.

Who-oa.

Act natural.

Get the...

Whooo!

Guh.

Woodie the Woodchuck!

Uh.

Woodie!

Woodie!

Dwight and Gretta: Woodie!

Woodie!

Go Woodside!

Long live the Woodchuck!

Oh, uh, ah.

Mm, ah.

Oh!

I'll get you back to--

That's a good Jacopo.

Good Jacopo.

Oh, sorry.

Uh.

Legs.

Hey Jacopo.

Buddy!

Rise and shine!

Hello?

Sir Dwight.

Stay with him.

When he wakes up, hear what he says.

I must find Baldric.

Send me a bat if anything's amiss.

Will do.

Uh, Gretta?

Be careful.

Brr- geez.

Ah, oh.

Hey! Jacopo!

You okay, pal?

I have a giant ache in my face.

Oh, well you uh, uh, you fell pretty hard.

and you got hit by a paper towel roll

in the head.

No, a door hit me when we fled for our lives.

Wait, what happened?

Do you remember?

Of course I remember.

My beautiful buffet of brunches was destroyed.

Right, by the little gremlin guy,

the, the speed demon.

Uh, no.

There was another.

A man who commanded the speedy demon.

What?

He gave us chase all about the school.

Somebody chased us?

Si.

Why else would I disguise myself as a bear?

Oh, you're a woodchuck.

Scusi?

You're not a bear, you're a woodchuck.

Oh, no.

It doesn't matter, what did he look like?

He was evil...

with a wicked smile in the face of a devil.

Okay.

None of that tells me what he looked like.

He looked like a villain.

Do you see him in any of these pictures?

No,

no,

no.

Oh, man.

Are you kidding me right now?

Zeke!

What's amiss?

Oh, hey Gretta.

I just dropped my phone in a mop bucket.

Now it's fried.

Oh.

Most unfortunate, but we have bigger concerns.

There is no sign of the speed demon.

Whoa, whoa, the what?

The speed demon!

That took Baldric!

Huh?

From the self-mes on your beckoning device.

Don't you remember?

Stop!

Make it bigger.

There.

That is the villain.

See, the wicked smile in that devil face.

Mr. Hammond?

Oh no.

I need to warn Gretta.

Remember what?

Well, think!

What is the last thing you remember?

Gretta, are you okay?

Highness!

Highness!

Baldric!

Oh, there you are.

Wh- what's amiss, princess?

Well, how did you escape the speed demon?

Speed demon?

Uh--

Ah, floof.

Answer!

Who is it?

'Tis I.

Gretta!

Oh.

Baldric!

You're okay!

I received your bat.

Why are you two hiding in a scullery closet?

And why are you dressed as a woodchuck?

I--thought it was a bear.

Oh, how disappointing for you.

Never mind that. We--

I had a bear costume once as a child.

Can we move on?

Oh, how I loved it!

Can we stop talking about Jacopo's bear costume?

Jacopo and Baldric: Woodchuck!

Where's the speed demon?

Uh.

What speed demon?

Ah geez.

The speedy demon that destroyed my brunches

and carried you off.

Come now.

I think I would remember if I had been carried off

by a speed demon.

Sweet heaven--

a speed demon!

Ah!

But, but, I, I, I don't recall any of this.

Give chase!

Oh!

Huh.

I did wonder what happened to my boot.

Ah!

Right here.

Much obliged, Your Highness.

Ah!

During the speedy demon took you away,

this Signore 'ammond pursued us and we assumed these disguises.

Mr. Hammond?

I didn't want to believe it either,

but look.

He's the guy giving the orders.

But, I just helped him reset the breaker.

In, in his dungeon.

His dungeon?

Mm-hm.

Why would Mr. Hammond pursue us?

Guys.

And why would he be in league

with a speed demon?

I...

Guys.

And now that I think of it,

why would a peasant schoolteacher

need a dungeon?

Guys!

We know who the memory thief is.