Original subtitles

Well, if you didn't know,

here's what happened.

You are a brute.

Not worthy to rescue a maiden so beautiful as she.

Oh, thank you.

Fly away with me, dolcezza.

Anywhere, my prince.

They are perfect for each other.

Right?

I give it six months.

Oh!

Ah.

Oh.

Hm.

Ah! A lapse candle.

Light the candle,

and time will stop for all but you

for as long as the candle burns.

Oh! That's handy.

Hey, guys.

Whatcha working on?

Oo, are these Ragana's belongings?

And now they're mine.

What are these?

Dancing slippers.

And these?

Muffin pebbles.

Oh.

Ooh!

Mm.

Ah!

It'll hit you like a rock.

Oh.

What's this?

Oh, human finger.

Ahh!

Oh, what of this?

More trouble than it's worth.

No good can come of it.

Never has, never will.

It's just a ring.

It's a Glimpse.

What's a Glimpse?

Slip it on your finger,

it will show you a glimpse of your future.

Seriously?

So if I were but to slip this on my finger--

I would advise against it, Highness.

This particular Glimpse will only show you something

that will happen to you within the day.

But the future is best left a mystery.

True, true.

Oh, oh, herb oils.

Sir Dwight and I will leave you to your task.

Oh, what's this thing?

Sir Dwight,

I think we've caused enough distraction.

But--

Out we go.

I just wanted to--

Enjoy.

Baldric and Hexela:

Okay, so about a thousand years ago,

there was this princess, Gretta, and she was in big trouble,

'cause she had lots of enemies and not a lot of friends.

So, her court magician, Baldric, cast the Champion spell.

It put everyone in the woods to sleep

until a champion would come, break the spell with his kiss,

and deal with Gretta's big, scary enemies.

But that guy never showed up.

Instead--

Aah!

they got me.

Aah!

Ow!

You think that was a real finger?

I mean, she was just messing with me, right?

Chlodwig!

What's amiss?

What say you, fellows?

Who wants to see their future?

Uh, what about what they said

about leaving the future a mystery?

What is this bauble?

'Tis a Glimpse.

Put it on your finger,

and it will show you your future.

Actually, just something that'll happen to you that day.

You jest.

I wouldn't do that.

AAAAHHH!

AAAHH!

Dude, you okay?

What did you see?

A nightmare of horrors.

You are certain I will be met with this fate today?

So said the witch.

I am undone.

Surely not.

Perhaps if I just have a look.

Bad idea!

Hm.

AAAAHHH!

Let me guess,

you saw something you wish you hadn't.

Uh-huh.

Because no good can come from knowing the future.

Were you in the Swine and Slosh Tavern?

Mm-hm.

And were you being treated with an indignity

ill-fitting to one of your station?

We must know more.

Don't.

Nothing.

Because you've already seen your glimpse for today.

That seems right.

What?

Hey, guys, no.

No, no, no.

No, I am staying out of thi--

Hey! Ow!

Stop, please!

Aah!

Now everybody's throwing veggies at me!

AAAHH!

Uhh!

Bad?

Pretty bad.

Were you in the Swine and Slosh Tavern?

Uh-huh.

And were you being treated with--

Serious indignity.

'Twas fortunate we found the Glimpse when we did.

Now that we've seen our future, we may prevent it.

Don't think that's how it works.

We know the heinous events happen

at the Swine and Slosh Tavern.

'Tis a problem.

'Tis?

It is the end of the month,

and I must pay my tavern tab today without fail.

No, Chlodwig.

None of us shall step foot

into the Swine and Slosh Tavern today.

Then, no ill fortune can befall us.

Of course.

You sure about that?

We shall leave fate stranded like a jilted bride.

None of us steps foot out of this hut until tomorrow.

Wait, what?

An infallible plan.

We bar the doors and open them for no one.

There isn't even a bathroom in here!

The hut is amply stocked with salted squirrel meat.

Dude, we said no more squirrel.

Oh, who could that be?

Dwight and Gretta: Wait!

Chlodwig!

Unhand him!

That is a royal command.

If you've got a grievance, take it up with Hellibad.

Who's Hellibad?

The proprietor of the Swine and Slosh Tavern.

Hm.

What have you there?

It's difficult to say.

Hm.

Hm. Ah.

Why is this so hard to open?

AAAHHH!

Get it off! Get it off!

Hexie! Hexie!

Good heavens!

Die! Die!

Oh! Ow!

Oh.

Hellibad.

♪ The pig-faced prince gets an orange soda rinse. ♪

♪ So sticky.

You.

It's the end of the month.

Right you are.

Today's the day

the Swine and Slosh Tavern settles all its accounts.

Sound business practice.

All tabs are due.

You've run up quite a tab.

You've got my money?

Not on my-- on my person.

But, if you'll allow me to go retrieve it.

You do not leave my sight.

♪ The silly boy can't pay his debt, ♪

♪ and now he does begin to fret, ♪

♪ for Hellibad will light the oil ♪

♪ and cause the piggy prince to boil. ♪

Chlodwig!

But look!

♪ Principessa and her champion monkey boy, oh joy. ♪

Jacopo?

What?

What are you doing here?

I sing the news.

Uh...

That's what troubadours do.

Only until better prospects present themselves.

I am a man of ambition.

I'm payin' you to sing!

♪ Hellibad is hopping mad.

Old news!

What is the meaning of this?

It's the end of the month.

All tabs are due.

And that makes it okay to kidnap people?

See here, Hellibad.

Edenberry Elf owes me 60 crowns.

Once he pays me, I can pay you--

With interest.

You can't pay?

Then you work.

Work?

For three days.

Three days?

Come on, that's a bit excessive.

And you are...

friends of his?

Indeed, we are.

Contend with him, and you contend with all of us.

Fair enough.

Get to work, missy.

I beg your pardon?

You too.

Scrub the floor.

Wh-What-- now, hold up just a second.

One worker for three days or three workers for one day.

It's all the same to me.

You're suggesting that I should--

Dear cousin, Gretta, dear brother, Dwight.

Every man should be blessed with friends like you.

Get to work!

♪ Oh, what a sight not seen before, ♪

♪ the princess scrubbing a dirty floor. ♪

Ay!

You.

I must warn you; I am not adept at menial tasks.

You're the entertainment.

AAAAHHHH!

How do we get in these situations?

Knife Thrower: Yes!

♪ That beef-handed louse ♪

♪ could not hit the broad side of a house. ♪

How about it then, squawking chicken.

Oohh.

Let’s see if you can do better.

Ah, I will do so.

With the greatest of ease.

Grazie.

Hold still.

Piggy prince.

If you throw that knife, rat-catcher...!

Fate is a cruel mistress!

Whoa!

Well done, well done, well done.

This is what I do.

I am not just a troubadour.

No, no.

Ah!

Hyah-ha-ha!

No brawling in my tavern!

Who killed my troubadour?

He all but asked for it.

Now who's going to sing the news?

Uh, hey guys, he's not dead.

He's fine.

What?

SING!

I'm...

♪ ...playing the lute and singing, ♪

♪ even though I don't play the lute or sing. ♪

♪ Because Chlodwig knocked out Jacopo ♪

♪ because Jacopo threw a knife at him. ♪

♪ Yes, he threw a knife.

I did not think today could get any worse.

HEY!

What are you doing?

♪ I'm singing the news, and the news is bad, ♪

♪ but a big guy is looking really mad. ♪

Hey! That rhymed.

Hey!

Ah! Please!

Ah!

♪ Now everybody's throwing veggies at me. ♪

Go that way!

Oh, a speed demon!

Horrid little beast!

Aaahhhh!

Ugh!

Sir Dwight is besieged on all sides.

Cowering like a lily-livered ninny.

You.

You.

You look thirsty, little blonde piggy!

Ohh!

Oh, mamma mía!

Why on earth

would Ragana have a speed demon in a bottle?

Pppffftt!

And how are we to get it back into the bottle?

There may be a way.

Sometimes the simplest solution is the best.

Three, two, one, go.

Get it! Get it!

But not this time!

Oh, there you are!

What kind of champion are you, hiding behind a stool?

You're hiding behind me, hiding behind the stool!

I can't engage in fisticuffs.

I make a living with these hands.

Hey!

No brawling in my tavern!

Ohh!

Whatever happened with you and Agnet?

Oh, no!

Man, I am so sorry!

I really liked you guys together.

What happened?

She was eaten by a rampaging giant.

We're gonna need a bigger stool!

How about we head for that speaker stack?

What's a speaking snack?

The-- the speaker stack!

You know, the thing that's connected to the--

The mic.

Hang on, cover me.

'Scuse me?

Hey! Testing.

Uh, you heard the man,

no brawling in Hellibad's tavern.

We can do this all day.

What-a now?

It is time for a retreat.

There's no honor in retreat.

There's no honor

in getting trampled to death either.

Confound that Glimpse!

If we hadn't have seen our future,

Chlodwig would have paid his tab today.

And we could have skipped all this.

You're right.

I say we crawl.

Like cowards.

Exactly like cowards.

Right out that door.

Crawl, little piggy, crawl.

I'm not a piggy!

That's exactly what the little piggy would say!

Where is it?

There! Ahh!

There!

Try as it will, it shall not pass.

Ah--

Oh, that could prove a problem.

What was that?

What was what?

I saw nothing.

Uh, what have you three kids been up to today, hm?

Hm?

Just learning life lessons the hard way.

Sir Dwight should never be allowed

to sing in public.

Ah, yes.

Ughh.

Really?

That's the big takeaway?

Come on, bud.

I have, in fact, learned my lesson.

Hm?

The future is best left a mystery.

Mm.

Princ-- Mm.

♪ Oh, my darling lady fair, ♪

♪ you have gone, I know not where. ♪

♪ You were swallowed by a giant, ♪

♪ though I fought it most defiant. ♪

♪ Now, here am I, in a smelly tavern place, ♪

♪ singing for a mean man with an angry fa-a-ace. ♪

Mr. Dale: Now, that makes two hundred and five.

How many bones am I supposed to have in all?

Sir Aldred: Two hundred and six.

And not just you, everybody.

We're so close!

Although kneecaps are technically sesamoids.

Ahh.

To be back in my--

immense, massive, terrifying body again.

I await the day most keenly,

when my vast powers can team with your vast powers.

Soon, the brotherhood of the Tovenaars will be back.

Ha-ha!

We shall roast our enemies on spits!

If you like.

We shall feast on their brains and innards!

Uh... cheers.

Another Pineapple Shasta!

Mm.

It's the end of the month, gents.

Tabs are due.

Huh.

Do you have any notion who we are?

A couple of puffkins that owe me 40 crowns?

Hm.

Would you like to see a magic trick?

Keep your tricks.

Bravo!

Magnifico!

Fantastico!

Oh!

Oh-ho-ho!

Uh--

Do a puppy.

Oh, no--

Sir Aldred: No need.

Congratulations, my good fellow.

This tavern is now yours.

I have a good feeling about you.

I trust you'll be more accommodating

than our parrot friend?

I live to serve, signore.