Original subtitles

All right.

Best movie crash scene of all time.

Go!

It's gotta be Full Metal Impact!

Full Metal Impact!

Never saw that one.

What?

Maybe I'll pick it up on VHS.

Benson, we're all deeply offended by that word you just said.

What, VHS?

What?

Didn't you learn anything from the format wars?

When was that?

I don't know.

You guys never include me in stuff outside of work.

If you wanna watch it, you gotta watch it on the best format out there.

What format is that?

Well, well, well.

If it isn't the Discmasters.

Hey, man.

One copy of Full Metal Impact on Laserdisc, please.

Excellent choice.

And here it is.

Thanks.

Oh, I can't hold it in.

Things have been so wonderful lately.

Thanks to you, you can't go anywhere without seeing a Laserdisc.

Cool, man.

Can we just get... Oh, right.

So what else is new, dude?

Well, you know, funny you should bring it up.

I recently saw something troubling.

It's in the tapestry.

See, back here is the first prophecy.

Here you're defeating VHS during the great format wars of three months ago.

There's me in my Laserdisc Guardian form.

And there I am undergoing painful surgery to look human again.

Say, who's that handsome devil?

And here we are at the second prophecy.

Something about a second format war.

A new format rising.

And it all begins with the arrival of a fifth Discmaster.

Hey, guys.

You get the movie yet?

Huh?

No.

They just ran out of paper towels.

Benson, could you move over there for a sec?

Now go like this.

We must gather the remaining obsolete formats.

War is coming.

Now, according to the second prophecy, a new format will rise.

And seek total domination.

The only way to stop it is with the Universal Remote.

Whoa.

My brothers.

Microfish!

What is this?

New format called DVD.

The prophecy.

He has a new weapon called Special Features.

No!

DVD!

The hour is near.

Hurry, my brothers.

Are you sure about this?

Yes.

So, now what?

Now, the Universal Remote shall be revealed.

Ugh, this is ridiculous.

Rigby, put me down.

Sam's Electronics.

Of course.

Hurry, Discmasters!

Nice work, guys.

Behold, the Universal Remote.

Looks like a sword in the stone type deal.

Since I'm clearly the strongest, I'll probably have no problem pulling it out.

Discmasters, remember the tapestry.

There's only one person who can free the remote.

Dude, Benson, it's you.

Yeah, dude.

Ugh.

Seriously.

I actually did it.

Muscle Man couldn't even do it and I actually did it.

You guys go through this every time you want to watch a Laserdisc?

Yeah, pretty much.

Mm-hmm.

Not so fast, Guardians.

We've got you surrounded.

Give up.

Who are you?

Are you really that dense old man?

Microfiche knew who I was.

DVD!

Way to crack the Jewel case, Laserdisc Holmes.

Or should I say, Sherlock Father?

I have a son?

Why am I not surprised?

Another cheap knockoff of the real deal.

Cheap knockoff?

Not only do I hold more data than you, I'm smaller.

And more compact, too.

Huh.

Hate to break it to you, kid.

All through history, man has favored large things.

Large horses.

Large bank accounts.

Large ice cream sundaes.

Nobody's gonna want this.

Size matters.

Laserdiscs are everywhere now.

Yeah!

Good luck having people switch to DVD.

Probably stands for disc that's very dumb.

Whoa!

Whoa!

It stands for digital, versatile disc.

You'll know DVD soon enough.

Meet my new ally, Internet.

Neutralize obsolete formats.

Lol.

With Internet controlling my army via Wi-Fi, the world will quickly know DVD.

Bow down to your new master, father.

Never!

Okay, can we just... Look, I don't know if you know, but I'm the fifth disc master,

so... DVD!

Say good night!

What's going on?

Enter.

DVD.

Device code.

How do we get the device codes?

Uh...

Prepare to become obsolete.

The old format army!

Not so fast, DVD!

Who's that?

That's ENIAC.

The first digital computer.

You didn't expect us old formats to step aside while you make these poor video

store clerks learn a new format, did you?

Yeah, they're not paying us enough to learn new stuff, man.

Charge!

Meniac!

Attack!

What's the status of the DVD code?

These instructions are really complicated.

I'm on it.

What's the tech support number?

Take shelter!

We'll hold them off till you find the code.

Initiate firewall.

Enter device code.

Stop talking!

Person!

I want to speak to a live person!

Universal remote tech task.

How may I help you?

Finally!

No!

No!

Eject the Disc Fighters!

You're all mine, DVD.

Ha!

That was just an alternate ending.

Here's how it really ends!

Why am I doing this?

Because you left me and Mom when I was just a mini-disc.

But where were you when my product launched?

Where were you when I said my first words?

What were they?

Laser disc rules.

So, yeah.

You're sorry?

You want to start the road to healing?

Oh, Dad, I...

BOTHER!

This wasn't part of the plan!

All obsolete formats must be neutralized.

I'm not obsolete, idiot!

All obsolete formats must be neutralized.

Stop saying that!

Special features!

Nobody cares about special features.

Only content matters.

I can stream it directly to their PC, laptop, or tablet.

TV is dead.

And so are you.

Have a heart!

404.

Not found.

Streaming content.

Try this one.

73928.

Look kindly, crew!

It's like we got all the codes except DVD!

Come on!

I've made a terrible mistake.

Internet is unstoppable!

Why should we help you?

If you don't, the world will have to settle for poorly compressed video on the web.

..

forever.

Look, Internet's power comes from his Wi-Fi server!

Wi-Fi... server?

DVD, give us your code!

Yeah-ya!

Termination incomplete.

Must neutralize all threats.

Rigby, the remote... Remote cannot control Internet.

But we can control everything else.

Guys, now!

Losing signal.

No!

No!

The Discmasters have triumphed!

The format wars are over at last!

Yeah!

Fidelity is not a priority for consumers.

Free streaming content will conquer all.

B Oh yeah!

Yeah.