Original subtitles

(Male narrator) Love is a drug. A class-A drug.

MRI scans have shown

that the euphoric dopamine rush experienced by lovers

lights up the same areas of the brain as cocaine and morphine.

This reaction can act as a powerful painkiller,

and oxytocin, known as the cuddle hormone,

can be strong enough to blind us to a lover's flaws.

(Female narrator) The continued release of the stress hormones

adrenaline and cortisol

can ensure that the newly-smitten cannot eat, cannot sleep,

and cannot think about anything other than the target of their affection.

(Man) Love can strike anyone anywhere,

and often when they least expect it.

But, rather than doing what comes naturally,

we and the way we lead our lives in today's busy world

put barriers in the way.

Just because nature has given us the basic tools and instincts,

It doesn't mean that everyone is going to be great at it.

(Woman) The expectation that we should instinctively know it all

can mean that we don't educate ourselves about sex.

This increases the tendency to dodge big relationship issues

such as safe sex, bad sex and lack of sex.

Like most things in life, to do something well,

you have to learn and practice.

And sex is no exception.

Anyone who has ever experienced

the groin-swelling, nipple-hardening intensity of sexual chemistry,

knows that when lust hits hard

it overwhelms the mind as furiously as it overpowers the body.

(Man) So why is sex such a powerful drive?

Anthropologists, logically enough, put it down to the need for procreation.

Sex is essential to the survival of the human species,

so we're made to crave it.

However, unlike our hairier ancestors,

it's not just about breeding.

Courtesy of contraception,

we are uniquely free to explore the excitement of sex

for its own sake.

(Woman) The upsides of such freedom are obvious.

We can get to know ourselves

by exploring different sides of our sexuality with our partner

or indeed different partners.

We can experience the heady highs of lust

and enjoy orgasms in myriad ways without risking pregnancy

or even commitment.

(Man) Great sex means different things to different people.

Libidos vary, fantasies vary and motivations vary.

Age, upbringing, health and personal circumstances

can all have an effect on people's desires.

And an individual's preferences can change from day to day, too.

On some occasions, tender kisses and slow sensual caresses

might bring passion to the fore.

(Woman) Sex can be about lust or love,

temptation or celebration,

affection or simply occupying yourselves on a rainy Sunday.

No one motivation will guarantee great sex,

but it's certainly worth exploring all the options.

It's those people who feel comfortable

enjoying, understanding and exploring sex

that tend to have the most fun with their clothes off.

(Man) Being honest about your own cravings

and willing to explore every inch of your lover's body

in a bid to learn what really turns them on

is an essential part of great sex.

(Woman) Sex, after all, can't just be about your desires.

To be really synapse-sparking, it has to be about tending to your own

and your partner's individual desires, wants and needs,

and finding the glorious intersections between those points.

(Man) Flirting is man's mating ritual.

It's the first way we indicate desire,

and a host of industries are built up around it,

from speed-dating to more traditional singles' nights, pubs to clubs.

A plethora of social occasions are little more

than thinly-disguised seduction opportunities.

(Woman) Many people complain that nightclubs become duller

once you stop being single.

Which just goes to show how carefully they are designed

to help find a mate.

And while you may not necessarily get a chance for a good conversation,

You certainly get a good opportunity to scope out potential conquests.

(Man) Flirting gives a subtle indication of interest -

suggesting you are up for forming a deeper connection,

but without the risk that comes with a more direct approach.

(Woman) Things like direct eye contact and an open smile

can act to indicate desire and suggest attraction.

(Man) Although some people are innately flirtatious,

it's also a skill that can be learned and developed.

(Woman) Practicing flirting helps overcome lack of self-confidence

and the fear of rejection.

The main goal is to spark the imagination of your target.

(Man) One key thing to keep in mind when you're attempting to flirt

is your body language.

Although you don't want to completely invade someone's personal space,

a bit of encroachment sends the signal

that there's more than just chatting going on here.

(Woman) A welcoming smile, a casual touch of the hand,

or simply listening to someone attentively

will all help indicate your attraction,

though some prefer the more overt approach.

(Man) Leaning towards someone,

which is often necessary in a noisy environment,

is another way to show your interest.

The more confident you look, the more attractive you'll seem.

(Woman) By relaxing, enjoying yourself, and using those signals skilfully,

you can establish whether there's a connection with a potential mate,

and, if there is, who knows where it could lead?

(Man) Sex is a core human need,

as natural as breathing, sleeping and eating.

And, as with all these needs,

the hunger for sex can be a strong motivating force.

Our bodies ignite the desire for sex,

and once the craving is there,

it's the first step towards the joys that intimacy can bring.

(Woman) Physical attraction is an essential part of desire.

Sometimes, just the sight of a muscular pair of arms

or a hint of cleavage can activate a person's sex hormones,

which then rouse the body and mind into action.

(Man) The trickiest thing about fulfilling desires

can be finding the person who really clicks with you sexually.

(Woman) We're genetically hotwired to be drawn to partners

who seem to be good breeding stock.

Youth, health and strength are universally appealing.

But more than that,

we're also attracted to people whose pheromones indicate

they have a complementary immune system to our own.

When we meet a match,

the brain releases a complex cocktail of chemicals

that produce a rush of excitement and well being,

bonding us to a lover and making us feel content.

(Man) The body conspires to enhance these chemicals.

The pupils dilate, making us look more attractive to a partner.

Meanwhile, the blood makes a bee-line to parts of the body

that openly indicate desire.

Resulting in external signs such as erect nipples and a hardening penis,

which all serve to arouse a partner if they happen to catch a glimpse,

even through our clothes.

(Woman) While research has shown that 90% of long-term couples

feel they are with the right partner,

over 50% of marriages end in divorce.

Still, strong physical attraction and great sex can develop

provided the couple bring enough energy and enthusiasm to their intimate lives-.

(Man) Once the feeling of desire kicks in,

we use the same kinds of seduction techniques found in the animal kingdom.

Grooming, preening, teasing and sometimes territorial behavior.

Simply placing a hand on a lover's arm in public

can indicate to others that they are taken,

and kissing in public is a clear indication to others to keep their hands off.

(Woman) Sadly, these feelings don't always last.

The most powerful chemicals of attraction

only last for around three months,

with almost all of them fading away within 18 months.

This is why many couples may feel the magic has faded.

(Man) They identify the feeling of love as being the heady mix of chemicals,

which is why it's so important to develop more than merely a sexual relationship

when you first meet a lover.

But, with continued effort,

there's no reason that a long-term loving relationship

shouldn't result in even better sex

than the chemical-driven highs of the early days.

(Woman) It's only when we kiss

that chemistry really has the chance to work its magic.

With the right partner, the world shrinks down into nothing but the point

at which your lips are making contact with your lover's.

As the kiss deepens, the blood rushes into your lips,

indicating your desire, increasing sensitivity

and making them firm with arousal.

(Man) That first kiss can be thick with passion.

While it can be tempting to dive in tongue first,

the entire experience becomes so much more enticing

if you take a softly-softly approach.

(Woman) Looking into each other's eyes

as you breathe each other's breath,

each waiting for the other to make the first move,

can create one of the most intoxicating moments of a burgeoning relationship.

(Man) Going in too hard and fast to start with

can indicate inexperience or a lack of concern for your partner's enjoyment.

Good things come to those who wait,

and never is this truer than with kissing.

While wet kisses do have their place,

an overactive, probing tongue suggests you want to rush to the finishing line

rather than enjoying the sensual pleasures that a kiss has to offer.

(Woman) Many a relationship has been thwarted by a lack-lustre first kiss.

While technical skill has a part to play,

if there isn't that magical zing when your lips first meet,

it can indicate there may not be enough physical compatibility

for passion to grow.

(Man) Licking your own lips when your mouth is mere millimeters away

from the object of your affections

delivers a sensual tease that will make them yearn to press their lips to yours.

And taking that first kiss slowly,

letting your lips delicately touch your lover's

before pulling away to extend the tease

will serve to make the stomach flip and the heart race.

(Woman) By teasing and withdrawing, deepening the kiss then pulling away,

you help to build the passion slowly and seductively

while still leaving your lover in no doubt as to your desires.

(Man) That said, as your relationship progresses,

deep, hard kissing can be an intoxicating way to show your lover

that you still desire them as much as you did

in the early days of your relationship.

A passionate kiss can be achingly intense.

Fueling the desire to let your lips explore your partner's face,

neck, shoulders and beyond.

It will make your skin tingle and blood pound,

and leave your lover filled with anticipation.

(Woman) And kissing isn't just about the lips.

Leisurely exploring your lover's neck, earlobes and shoulders

can be achingly sensual.

Many women list their neck as one of their most sensitive erogenous zones,

with delicate neck kissing acting as more of a turn-on

than a more obvious approach of caressing the breasts.

(Man) While love bites are best avoided after adolescence,

gently nibbling and teasing suction can send shivers of anticipation

through your lover's body.

(Woman) Kissing is addictive.

It forms a strong, lasting bond between you and your partner.

It's a well-known truth that when relationships break down,

it's usually the first kissing that stops even before sex.

Think of kissing as the litmus test of how well you're getting along.

(Man) The lips are densely populated with nerves.

An intense session of kissing ensures those nerves,

combined with those on the tongue and in the mouth,

constantly send messages to the brain.

This helps unleash numerous sexy chemicals

that make you feel relaxed, aroused, connected to a partner,

and ready to take things to the next level.

(Woman) People stay in love when they feel valued,

adored and appreciated sexually.

Don't be complacent.

Keep making your partner feel sexy,

keep flirting, and don't let the kissing stop.

You never know where it might lead.

(Man) Touch is one of our most basic communication methods.

However, only the caress of a lover has the ability

to set your nerves alight

and make your mind explore the infinite possibilities

contained within than blissful moment when skin meets skin.

(Woman) Even something as simple as your fingertips meeting your lover's

can be charged with erotic promise.

(Man) The average human has an impressive two square metres

of skin surface area.

That makes the skin, packed with millions of nerve endings,

your body's largest erogenous zone.

All it takes to activate it is a touch from the right person.

(Woman) Stroking each other helps you rouse each other's desires,

getting the juices flowing, and making you both eager for more.

(Man) Caressing your partner's body teaches you its landscape.

It's only by exploring that you can discover exactly

what makes your lover tick.

Although the breasts and genitals are the obvious erogenous zones,

By allowing your hands to roam more thoroughly,

you can discover your lover's unique body blueprint.

(Woman) For some, a finger traced along the spine,

back of the knee or the nape of the neck,

can produce a strong and erotic charge as more X-rated exploration.

For others, delicate kisses to the buttocks, inner ankle or toes

are the key to sexual bliss.

There's no right or wrong, simply what your lover likes best.

(Man) As with most sexual contact,

caressing a lover builds a feeling of intimacy

and releases the cuddle hormone oxytocin.

This makes you more receptive to touching and being touched,

sending the signal that you can relax into your arousal.

Building these feelings with slow kisses, tender eye gazing and teasing strokes

will only serve to heighten the anticipation.

(Woman) Mixing up the types of caresses and areas being caressed

helps keep the skin's nerve endings responsive.

And there's no reason you can't touch yourself

while your lover is touching you.

Being comfortable enough to masturbate in front of your lover

shows that you trust them and helps them to get to know

the type of touch that you most enjoy.

(Man) There's no reason that touch should be limited to your hands.

The lips and teeth can deliver exquisite sensations,

helping your lover feel worshipped on every inch of their body.

Sensual kisses and whispered sweet nothings

will all add to the mood and make you both desperate for more.

(Woman) Take time when caressing a lover.

Give them the chance for their mind to imagine what's going to come next.

Once someone's brain is stimulated,

it's almost guaranteed that the body will follow.

(Man) Women in particular appreciate slow foreplay.

While only 25% of women climax from penetrative sex alone,

this figure increases to over 75%

if their partner spends more than 20 minutes

on touching and other forms of foreplay.

(Woman) Many people fantasize when their lover is caressing them.

This is entirely natural and healthy,

even if you are not fantasizing about your lover.

(Man) Communicating your desire sexually with a partner,

whether verbally or through the way you groan and move your body,

is one of the easiest ways to get what you want in bed.

And continue to communicate whilst you are being pleasured.

Simply moaning when your lover caresses you in a way that you enjoy

and staying silent when they do something that doesn't hit the spot

will help them learn what you most enjoy.

(Woman) Most people simply want their lover to be happy,

and you will generally find if you have the confidence to ask for what you want,

you will get what you need.

(Woman) Touching yourself is as important as touching a lover.

Until you truly know your own body,

you're unlikely to be able to guide a partner

on how to satisfy your desires and your own personal pleasure zones.

(Man) While some people stigmatize masturbation,

it really is entirely normal and healthy.

Playing with your own body helps build confidence

and teaches you about your own sexual responses.

(Woman) It's helpful to be aware of your many erogenous zones,

not just the genitals.

Everyone is different.

There is no right or wrong way to stimulate yourself,

so experiment with different methods.

(Man) Men have an arsenal of techniques at their disposal.

They can use a lubed up hand to rub and squeeze the penis and balls.

They can experiment with different grips, using one hand or both,

or even rub their penis against something.

Once you've explored your body alone,

show your partner what you've learnt.

Side by side, masturbation can be one of the best ways to demonstrate

what turns you on to your partner.

(Woman) When it comes to pleasuring your man,

explore every inch of his penis and beyond,

stroking him from his balls to the tip of his shaft.

Follow his hands on how best to stimulate his penis.

If he is not fully erect,

grip the penis and gently pump it with your hand.

You may also want to coat your palm with lubricant

and then grasp his shaft and start to move your hand up and down.

(Man) Experiment with different techniques.

Try holding his shaft right underneath the head

between thumb and finger and rubbing it.

Or grasping the shaft firmly in a lubricated hand,

with your thumb on his fraenulum and slide your hand up and down.

Or use one hand to stroke his shaft with smooth, even strokes

while the other one moves around the head in a circular motion.

(Woman) Watch your lover's body language as you play,

and check whether he likes what you're doing as you go along.

And don't ignore his balls.

Feel free to squeeze and tickle them, but always be gentle,

because a bruised testicle is a sure-fire way

to get a man immediately out of the mood.

(Man) As a man nears orgasm,

his balls will tighten and you'll feel his penis start to pulse.

It'll also probably feel harder.

Maintain what you're doing unless you want to extend the tease,

in which case change the technique.

(Woman) There's a lot to be learned from watching your partner.

Women generally tend to prefer softer, slower

and more manual stimulation than men.

Watch how she softly rubs the shaft of the clitoris.

Going straight for the clitoral tip can be uncomfortable for many women.

Look at how she swells with arousal and keeps the pressure light.

(Man) Women tend to prefer the gentler approach to men,

so notice how her fingers circle around her clitoris or tease her labia,

rather than pressing hard or rubbing fast.

(Woman) When masturbating in front of a partner,

be honest about what you really do when you're alone.

Although it can be tempting to put on a graphic display,

particularly if you watch a lot of adult films together,

there is no point going for lots of penetration

and spreading of your labia or finger licking,

if what you really enjoy is a light circling of your clitoris.

Your partner can only learn from what you are doing,

if you show what you genuinely enjoy.

It'll be even more of a turn-on if he can see you getting wetter as you play.

(Man) It generally takes a woman longer to climax than a man.

So, if you're going for a mutual masturbation session,

it's a good idea to apply the adage: "ladies first".

That way, you'll both be satisfied

and interested in what each other is doing throughout.

Watching your lover masturbate

and then joining in as she gets closer to orgasm,

using all the new tricks you have learned from observing,

can be one of the sexiest show-and-tell sessions you will ever experience.

(Man) It helps if you let your lover show you by guiding your hand

how best she likes to be stimulated.

Feel around her G-spot, a few inches inside on the upper wall.

You'll know when you've found it when you find a area that swells

when you stroke it with a come-hither motion.

(Woman) G-spot stimulation can be the pathway to female ejaculation.

(Man) Don't be afraid to show your lover

how much you enjoy watching her masturbate by touching yourself.

(Woman) And many women find watching their partner masturbate

To be a turn-on too, so you may spur her nearer to her orgasm.

(Man) Conversely, most men are aroused

by watching a woman lose herself in sensual pleasure.

So don't be afraid to let your growing excitement show.

It's more than likely to make your lover desperately want to join in.

(Woman) The man should add more fingers

as he feels his lover getting more aroused,

and use his other hand to caress her clitoris, neck or nipples

or to stroke himself.

(Man) Frontage, or rubbing your genitals against your partners,

can be a wonderfully stimulating twist

on more traditional methods of masturbation.

Just remember that you still need to use a condom

unless you know you're safe from STD's and pregnancy.

(Woman) When orgasm hits, don't be afraid to let it show.

Not only does it let your partner know they should stop what they are doing,

to avoid touching over-sensitized areas,

it can also act as an incredible turn-on for them,

spurring them towards their own climax.

(Man) Masturbating a partner isn't just great foreplay,

it can make a refreshing change from, or a wonderfully sensual alternative to,

full-on sexual intercourse.

(Man) Just about every animal on the planet uses licking to convey affection.

But humans have taken it to a whole new level.

There are numerous ways in which people use their tongue on a lover.

Delicate licking, sensual lapping, and tracing outlines on a lover's skin,

all have their place.

And licking isn't just reserved for the most obvious body parts.

Exploring your lover's entire body with your tongue

can make them tingle all over.

(Woman) Going from a standing start straight to oral can be very sexy.

But if you make a lover crave your tongue on their most intimate parts,

they're more likely to be aroused and eager when you finally get down there.

(Man) The longer you extend the tease,

the more powerful a lover's eventual orgasm is likely to be.

Whether that happens with your mouth or fingers or full-blown sex.

(Woman) Many women find oral sex the easiest way to climax.

As the clitoris is much richer in nerves than the penis,

start gently rather than sucking too hard.

(Man) You should be sensitive enough to feel

whether she wants your licks stronger or faster.

Even simply breathing on the clitoris can be incredibly arousing,

building her desire and making her ache to feel your mouth around her.

Try using the flat side of your tongue rather than the tip

as some women prefer a big ice-cream lick

to pressure of the point of the tongue on the clitoris.

(Woman) The golden rule is not to see it as a race to get her to a finishing line,

but to delight in losing yourself in a joyous activity.

Some women can feel self-conscious about receiving oral sex,

but if you show that you're not only willing

but actively want to take your time,

it will reassure her that she smells and tastes great,

and can relax into enjoying herself too.

And with her relaxation can come great orgasms.

(Man) As a woman nears orgasm, her labia and clitoris will swell

and the wetness will increase.

At this point, you can add a finger or two.

Or try more intense contact using the tip of your tongue.

But again, build up slowly,

as otherwise she may lose the moment entirely-.

(Woman) Vary how you begin oral sex.

Putting your tongue on the shaft of a hardening penis

or engorged clitoris through underwear can be wildly erotic-.

Try lapping at the pubic mound, the inner thighs, the balls,

and occasionally let your tongue snake inside the underwear-.

(Man) While there are numerous fellatio techniques,

they fall into two basic approaches.

For a slow and gentle tease, or as a wonderful warm-up,

lick the length of the penis from balls to shaft

before gently flicking your tongue over the generally more sensitive head.

To extend the anticipation,

move back from his glands to the base of his penis

and work your way up.

Or from side to side, or to his inner thighs,

before moving back up.

(Woman) Try playing your hair over his shaft

as you delicately lick the tip,

softly sucking the skin between his balls into your mouth.

Or even sucking his balls entirely into your mouth.

Do take it carefully though, as the balls can be incredibly sensitive

and not all men like them being played with.

(Man) Alternatively, or as things heat up,

go for more intense sucking, moving your head up and down,

so that he can watch his penis vanishing into your mouth.

Many men find it extra hot to make eye contact at this point,

so he can see how much you love what you're doing.

(Woman) Make sure you keep your teeth guarded behind your lips,

and don't be afraid to set the pace.

If he thrusts too hard or at the wrong moment,

it can set off the gag reflex.

Keeping one hand on the penis as you perform oral sex

will also help you stay in control.

What you are aiming for is creating a warm, wet, tight combination

that emulates the feeling of him sliding in and out of your vagina.

(Man) Masturbating the shaft or softly tugging or cupping the balls,

or using your fingers to put some pressure on his perineum,

that area between his balls and anus,

can send him over the edge.

You may want to get an all-clear from him

before you go sticking your finger in his anus, however.

Some men love it, but others will not take such an intrusion kindly.

(Woman) If it's the taste of semen that you really don't like,

take the penis at the back of your throat

to bypass the majority of your taste buds,

and if you're squeamish about swallowing,

withdraw your mouth altogether,

and masturbate him to orgasm.

(Man) Different people prefer different techniques,

so read your lover's body language.

Don't be shy about asking questions,

even when you're in the middle of pleasuring your partner.

And, above all, focus on enjoying the sensual pleasure

of having your lover's most intimate parts in your mouth.

Some people get just as aroused by giving oral sex as receiving it,

and you may become one of them if you get your mind into the right state.

It really can be every bit as good to give as to receive.

(Woman) Whilst straight-forward sex is perfectly wonderful in itself,

many people also enjoy some form of kink or fetish.

For some, it may simply be the exhibitionist thrill

of watching a lover strip or masturbate.

Being able to observe a partner in such an intimate way

and know that they're indulging for your gratification

can deliver an intense sexual charge.

(Man) Others find that sexy lingerie adds an extra frisson to sex

that nothing else can match.

Dressing up and undressing for seduction

can add a sense of naughtiness and occasion,

particularly if a lover is appreciative of the effort

and lavishes you with compliments.

Stockings and suspenders are popular,

and giving a discreet flash of stocking top

when you're getting out of a car on the way to dinner

can make a man's mind wander all night.

Even simply seeing a pair of stockings being slowly unfurled up a leg

can be enough to create a spark of desire.

(Woman) And of course, getting kinky isn't simply

about the way you dress or undress.

Spanking is one of the most common fetishes,

often forming part of sex in which one partner takes a dominant role,

and the other a submissive one.

With this scenario, even something as innocuous as tickling can be a turn-on.

(Man) While most people seek out the pleasure of touch,

the sensation of pain which also releases a flood of feel-good endorphins

can be just as energizing.

This is exacerbated if the spanking starts slowly

and gradually becomes more intense.

(Woman) If a long, hardish spanking is administered,

it is essential to comfort your lover afterwards,

otherwise they may suffer a come-down from their body's own natural high-.

And teaming pleasure with pain can really increase the sensations.

(Man) Even if a kink doesn't do it for you,

by indulging your lover, you may well find yourself

bringing a previously unknown spark into your relationship.

Fetishes can be based deep in the subconscious,

and connect you to your lover's sexual psyche

in a way that non-kinky sex doesn't.

And you never know,

just because a particular kink or quirk has never appealed to you,

it doesn't mean you won't enjoy it if you actually try it.

(Woman) You can take things to another level

by bringing kinky role-play into the occasion.

Many role-play scenarios involve a power play:

doctors and nurses, escorts and clients,

seducers and virgins.

And you don't necessarily have to dress up or use specialist props.

Simply using your imagination can be all that's required

to transport you to a castle dungeon or an Arabian harem.

(Man) Bondage, domination, submission and masochism,

collectively known as BDSM,

allow exploration of power roles within relationships.

Some people get a thrill out of relinquishing

or seizing control in the bedroom,

particularly if this runs contrary to their position in everyday life.

Household props can easily be adapted to kinky purposes.

Stockings or silk scarves can become bondage ropes.

(Woman) By trying both dominant and submissive roles with a lover,

you may tap into previously unacknowledged desires.

However, before engaging in any fantasy or role-play,

make sure boundaries are clearly defined.

What may seem entertaining in fantasy can be too extreme in reality,

and levels that you think you'd never step beyond

may become surpassable when you're in the heat of the moment.

(Man) Before you start playing,

it's essential to set a safe word which means stop

and that your partner promises faithfully to adhere to.

Many people enjoy using the words 'no' or 'stop' as part of the role-play,

so choose a word such as 'red'

which you are less likely to use during the sex-play.

(Woman) Some couples draw inspiration for their fantasy play

from X-rated material:

reading erotic stories, looking at sexy magazines

and watching adult videos.

Most men have looked at some form of pornography in their lives,

although figures for women are on the increase too.

(Man) Producing home porn,

whether in the form of pictures or videos of oneselfes,

has seen a massive boost in the digital age.

While you should never take photos or videos of anyone without their consent,

role-playing photographer and model can be a hot fantasy.

And you can always delete any images you take afterwards.

You may find it safest to ensure that neither of you is identifiable

in any home porn make, should anyone find the footage.

(Woman) Unless you're happy to be exhibitionists,

keep your faces out of shot,

and also ensure you hide any unique piercings or tattoos

to keep your identity properly protected.

That goes doubly so if you intend to post your footage online,

on the user-generated adult websites that are now in abundance.

(Man) Sometimes a perfectly passable sex life

just needs a little tweak to move it into the mind-blowing category.

(Woman) In the end, good old romance can often be best

for maintaining the spice in a relationship.

Affection and appreciation are often the choicest aphrodisiacs in life.

(Man) Sex toys have been around for thousands of years.

Early dildos, known as Olisbos, were sold in Greece around 5,000 BC.

Around the same time, Ben Wa balls,

still used as vaginal toning devices and stimulators to this day,

were created in southeast Asia.

(Woman) Olive oil was mentioned as a sexual lubricant

in texts dating back to 35080.

Although it shouldn't actually be used as a lubricant

as it can cause condoms to break.

(Man) And cock rings, once made from the dried eyelids of goats,

were used back in 1,200 AD.

By 1600, these evolved into carved ivory rings,

some with studs used to stimulate the clitoris during intercourse.

(Woman) Vibrators were invented in Victorian times

to provide orgasms as a medical cure for hysteria or womb disease

in female patients.

The machines were administered by doctors

who previously had developed tired wrists

from having to cure this hysteria manually.

(Man) Nowadays sex toys are no longer taboo.

At a sex emporium, you can pick up clitoral stimulators, dildos and vibrators

of every shape and size.

The choice in men's toys has also grown significantly over the last decade,

most notably with the arrival of a masturbator

looking like an ordinary torch.

(Woman) Around half of all women in the West

have a sex toy of some kind,

and almost 80% of them use them within relationships.

You can use them to stimulate nipples, a clitoris, vagina or anus,

or indeed the penis, balls or prostate.

(Man) 80 don't see toys as something purely to use on a woman.

Even toys such as the Rabbit, designed with women in mind,

can be used on the man.

Try teaming it with oral or manual stimulation.

If it doesn't float his boat, you can simply put the toy aside.

If it works for him, you can both enjoy more explosive climaxes.

(Woman) Women, though, often need more stimulation than men

to attain orgasm,

and what man is capable of 6,000 revs per minute and at the touch of a button?

Many women who do use sex toys on a regular basis

experience more frequent orgasms, have increased sexual confidence

and report greater satisfaction with their partners.

(Man) This means that rather than being a threat to your relationship,

vibrators and other sex toys can be positively beneficial.

(Woman) When it comes to introducing your partner

to the concept of using sex toys together,

judge it carefully.

Some couples may be open enough to say, "Fancy giving this a go?"

when others could be intimidated.

(Man) Not so long ago, the idea of a woman using a strap-on dildo

to penetrate her male partner would have been shocking.

But now you can buy backdoor toys, G-spot and prostate massage's

to help couples reach the parts that never see the light of day.

(Woman) Some toys nowadays are designed for double penetration.

With enough foreplay and plenty of lube,

it's amazing the pleasures that such double stimulation can bring.

Then there's the extra dimension of adding to sexual fantasy.

You can imagine group sex

without exposing yourself to the emotional risks of actually trying it.

(Man) Remember, though, the key word is 'play'.

So, whatever toys you choose to incorporate into your sex life,

be sure that the end result is fun.

(Woman) Though many couples stick to two or three favourite positions

throughout their lives,

there are actually hundreds of positions

that people can use to have sexual intercourse.

On the internet, you can find step-by-step guides

to doing everything from the 'Pile-driver' to the 'Pinwheel'.

(Man) But there are really just five main approaches to consider

when deciding which way to do it.

Man on top.

Woman on top.

From behind.

Sitting.

And standing.

(Woman) Then there's always anal sex to consider as well,

but we'll get to that later.

(Man) Man on top, also known as the 'missionary position',

is often considered old-fashioned or dull.

But it actually offers a woman a greater chance of orgasm

because it allows for great clitoral stimulation,

particularly if you don't rush it.

This position is also conducive to passionate eye contact

breast fondling and, if the woman bends her knees

or wraps her legs around her partner,

deeper penetration and G-spot stimulation.

(Woman) The woman has easy access to caress the man's chest and nipples,

should they be an erogenous zone for him.

She can also easily grip his shoulders and rake her nails down his back,

and of course there's lots of scope for both of you to kiss.

(Man) Missionary position is a great starting-off point,

that lends itself to both sensual and animalistic sex.

And there's nothing to stop you moving from slow and teasing missionary

to hard and fast rutting in one session.

(Woman) Rotating the hips in a figure of eight motion,

moving your bodies closer together or further away,

or adding your own unique twist to missionary sex,

such as this reverse doggie,

can all increase sensitivity and allow deeper penetration.

(Man) There's a reason it's one of the most popular sexual positions

with men and women alike.

(Woman) The next option to consider is woman on top.

This position allows the woman to be more in control

of the pace and power of thrusting and the depth of penetration.

She can also be more in charge of tending to the clitoris,

either by actively grinding it against her partner's pubic bone,

or by playing with it herself.

The man has easy access to the woman's breasts,

and again, it's easy to kiss.

(Man) As with missionary, there are myriad variations

of woman-on-top sex.

It can be a seductive dance

with a woman grinding her hips against her partner,

looking into his eyes as the pair rock to mutual bliss.

Or it can be a passionate and dominant exchange

in which the woman hungrily takes what she wants

from a willingly supportive man.

(Woman) For an intriguing twist on woman on top,

there is always the seated position with the man sitting on a chair

or on the edge of a bed, with his partner straddling him.

(Man) This is a great option

if you prefer your woman-on-top approach to be more mutual,

as it's easier for the man to simply drop the woman onto her back,

should he decide he wants to take a more dominant role in the proceedings.

(Woman) Woman-on-top sex can be slow and tender

or hard and fast,

and this is the ideal position if a man is well-endowed,

as it allows the woman to decide exactly how much she is going to take

and how hard she is going to take it.

(Man) It allows the man to enjoy sex a more relaxed way,

all that thrusting can be hell on the thigh muscles,

though it still allows him enough freedom to thrust upwards

should he crave deeper penetration.

(Woman) As with the missionary position,

woman-on-top gives plenty of clitoral stimulation,

making it a great position for mutual orgasm.

(Man) Sex from behind, or doggie style,

allows for the deepest penetration and G-spot stimulation.

The man has easy access to kiss and nibble the neck and shoulders,

caress the back or stroke the clitoris during sex.

He can cup the woman's breasts, kiss her body,

and generally lavish almost every inch of her with affection.

(Woman) Many woman enjoy doggie style

because it makes even the smallest man feel larger,

and the woman can deepen penetration even further

by pressing backwards onto the man's penis.

(Man) Although it gets low scores for intimacy and clitoral contact,

doggie style sex usually receives high marks from guys

because it allows for aggressive thrusting

and it has a kind of raw animalistic feel to it.

(Woman) But there's no reason that sex from behind

always has to have the man in control.

Reverse cowgirl lets the woman set the pace,

whilst allowing her easy access to caress her own clitoris,

and gives the man a graphic view that may well speed his climax.

(Man) At quite a wild end of the scale can be standing sex,

which can have a desperate "must-have-you-now" urgency to it.

This makes it a great option for quickies.

Whether it's from behind or facing each other,

standing-up sex can offer a needy, urgent compulsion to the act.

(Woman) There are few sexier ways to start an evening than with a quickie

once you're all dressed up and ready for a night on the town

when you really should be on your way.

(Man) And then there's anal sex.

Anal sex has gone from being a taboo act that men begged their partners to try,

to becoming increasingly popular.

Of course, good anal sex,

meaning anal sex that is pleasurable and painless,

is not something that happens overnight.

It can take weeks or even months for a partner to open up and relax.

(Woman) Regardless of position,

ultimate sex is all about finding out what works for both of you.

Don't be afraid to experiment,

and accept that making mistakes and even laughing at various faux pas

are all part of the process.

Half the fun of learning about sex together is the practice.

(Man) Sexual exploration can be very exciting,

even without topping things off with an orgasm.

But most people consider having the big '0' as a solid finale to sex.

(Woman) Of course, making that happen for both partners

can be more difficult than it sounds.

Women who require more foreplay and greater stimulation during sex

generally have more trouble reaching climax,

particularly via intercourse.

(Man) An erection is psycho-physiological magic

and can't always be relied on to spring up on demand.

This is when the woman should not blame him or herself,

but take charge.

Kissing, caressing and talking sexily can all help him firm things up.

Or you can use your mouth more directly to spur things on.

And, rather than panicking,

the man should think sexy thoughts,

perhaps using the fantasies that he revels in when he is alone.

And he should remember there are multiple ways to satisfy his lover

even if his penis won't play.

(Woman) Accept this as a part of normal lovemaking,

and an opportunity for more oral pleasuring.

Stroking the perineum or stimulating the prostate gland

if he's into that, can also bring things back on track in record time.

(Man) If it's a condom related issue,

then masturbating while wearing one will help him get used to the sensation.

Not having safe sex, though, should not be an option,

especially early in a relationship.

Yet, however much effort it takes to get there,

the result should be wonderfully worth it.

(Woman) Female arousal is linked less to direct sensory output from the genitals

and more to relaxation and lack of anxiety.

Scans show that female orgasm produces activity

across all brain regions that handle emotion.

Letting go of fear and anxiety greatly increases the chance

of reaching orgasm.

Females need to take charge of their own pleasure.

Don't be dependent on how good a lover he is,

it's not his responsibility to give you an orgasm -

you have to reach one for yourself.

(Man) But a man can help enormously by giving a woman time.

Engage in at least 20 minutes of foreplay.

As the American sex researcher, Alfred Kinsey, showed,

over 90% of women will reach their orgasm after this amount of time.

(Woman) Link that with going for your orgasm first,

get him to help you reach one with his hands, tongue or a vibrator.

(Man) The "lady-comes-first" rule takes the pressure off both of you.

(Woman) The two Fs for a more guaranteed orgasm are:

Friction and Fantasy.

You have a magic button that he doesn't have.

The majority of women, when they masturbate,

take between three and six minutes to climax,

but it can take over 20 minutes with their partner in penetrative intercourse,

if it happens at all.

(Man) The second F is fantasize while you're having sex.

Let your imagination go wild.

The joy of fantasy is that there are no rules or regulations.

Bring in some of the thoughts you have while you masturbate,

let yourself visualize intensely.

Your brain is the most powerful sex organ,

use it to help you reach your climax.

(Woman) During orgasm, the skin becomes more sensitive,

the body requires more oxygen which speeds breathing,

blood pressure rises, creating a pink flush in the cheeks,

and the genitals pulse as the muscles contract.

The genital region harbours a multitude of different nerves.

The penis has a total of 6,000,

but the clitoris has 8,000 nerves.

The orgasmic sensation varies depending on the area touched.

(Man) Some say a man's orgasm differs from a woman's

or that a vaginal orgasm differs from a clitoral one

because different sets of nerves are involved.

The nerve that gives the orgasmic feeling sends messages to the brain,

bypassing the spinal column

which is what allows some paraplegic people to still feel sexual sensation.

A collection of neurons called the nucleus accumbens,

or colloquially "the brain's pleasure center",

becomes highly active as a woman's orgasm approaches.

(Woman) The part of the brain responsible for reward and empathy

goes into high-alert mode,

as does the one producing the hormone oxytocin,

the bonding chemical.

(Man) And so orgasm happens,

and it seems to last significantly longer in women than in men.

(Woman) When it comes to climaxing, every couple is different.

You might enjoy mutual orgasms quite often,

you may work each other up to a state of near-climax with words alone,

or it could take all night and hours of foreplay.

(Man) One or both of you may find it hard to climax from sex alone

and need to reach conclusion with the help of fingers, tongues or toys.

There is no right or wrong, only what makes you both feel good.

And that's something you can only discover together.

Although the penis and the vagina usually get all the attention,

the truth is that your mouth is the most important part of any sexual relationship.

And not just for kissing and oral sex.

Using it for communication or sharing is the big key

towards getting your needs met.

(Woman) As relationships deepen, desires change.

People evolve and issues arise.

With open communication, lovers can effectively address

all the twists and turns of a sexual partnership

and grow together rather than drift apart.

(Man) It is possible to go through all the motions of sex

without allowing your emotions to get too involved.

But surely the best sex is the kind that deepens intimacy and involvement.

Being honest about everything, from your erotic fantasies

to your life-long insecurities,

builds the kind of rapport that a quick one-nighter could never match.

(Woman) Even in the early stages of a relationship,

honesty will help you develop a healthy, loving bond.

(Man) And when things don't go as planned,

or there's a droopy erection or a just-out-reach orgasm,

it's talking about it that's going to help you survive the awkwardness

and resolve the problem.

(Woman) A healthy sex life helps produce a healthy psychological state.

Beyond the joys of having first-rate orgasms,

the hormones that get released during sex

foster a sense of well-being

and an increased desire to bond with the person lying next to you in bed.

(Man) Sex offers the chance to become

sexually, emotionally and spiritually fulfilled,

and sharing intimacy with another

actually allows us to better understand ourselves.

(Woman) For many people leading busy lives,

enriching their sex lives might just mean

setting aside a few hours with their partner

after the kids have gone to sleep,

climbing into bed early and rekindling neglected desires.

(Man) As if the pleasures of experiencing powerful orgasms

and a lover's blissful cries weren't enough,

good sex might actually help you prolong your life

and that of the person you love.

(Woman) With an incentive like that, why would anyone resist the allure

of igniting desire and striving for the greatest sex of their lives?