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1
00:01:09,583 --> 00:01:10,583
Ripped by Bornholm
2
00:01:10,584 --> 00:01:12,643
"Your attention please."
3
00:01:12,719 --> 00:01:15,085
"We have a special guest with us today,"
4
00:01:15,155 --> 00:01:18,352
"a member of sevenall-statesquads..."
5
00:01:18,425 --> 00:01:22,828
"in football, basketball and baseball,"
6
00:01:22,896 --> 00:01:25,558
"the most popular student in his class,"
7
00:01:25,632 --> 00:01:28,965
a" heck of an athlete
and a hell of a guy,"
8
00:01:29,035 --> 00:01:31,663
"you know him as number 28,"
9
00:01:31,738 --> 00:01:33,899
"Brad Bender.
10
00:01:50,056 --> 00:01:52,752
You dog.
11
00:01:54,428 --> 00:01:57,625
Good morning, sunshine.
12
00:01:59,132 --> 00:02:01,862
You made all-state.
13
00:02:01,935 --> 00:02:07,737
I always make all-state.
Now, hurry up and eat your food,
or you�ll be late for school.
14
00:02:07,808 --> 00:02:10,174
Your father and Shelly already left.
15
00:02:11,845 --> 00:02:14,143
Lightly toasted, mom.
16
00:02:14,214 --> 00:02:16,648
Lightly toasted.
17
00:02:18,051 --> 00:02:23,216
This morning�s Sports Spot hotshot
is the toast of Rockridge High,
18
00:02:23,290 --> 00:02:25,224
Brad Bender,
19
00:02:25,292 --> 00:02:27,283
who�s made yet another
all-state squad...
20
00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:30,124
and this time in swimming, sports fans.
21
00:02:30,197 --> 00:02:34,156
There�s just no stopping this kid
when it comes to racking up the records.
22
00:02:34,234 --> 00:02:36,168
Boom, boom, pow.!
23
00:02:36,236 --> 00:02:38,568
All-state in soccer, football, track.
24
00:02:38,638 --> 00:02:42,540
All season long
it�s been Bender, Bender, Bender.!
25
00:02:42,609 --> 00:02:44,543
Yes, I tell you-
26
00:03:10,403 --> 00:03:13,236
Well, we�re in
an all-state mood today.
27
00:03:13,306 --> 00:03:16,366
Well, they�re announcing
the prom king today.
28
00:03:16,443 --> 00:03:19,276
And you have a little feeling,
you devil.
29
00:03:19,346 --> 00:03:22,941
So tell me, your highness,
who is gonna beyour queen?
30
00:03:23,016 --> 00:03:26,076
- janet, Cindy, Laura, Sonya?
- Hey, Bender. Where are you?
31
00:03:26,152 --> 00:03:29,315
Or Becky,juliette.
The possibilities are staggering.
32
00:03:29,389 --> 00:03:31,550
Take Shirley Crater, ace.
33
00:03:34,394 --> 00:03:37,227
Morning, Mrs. Bender.
Oh, Bradley, really.
34
00:03:37,297 --> 00:03:39,629
Here comes breakfast!
35
00:03:39,699 --> 00:03:42,930
Shirley is a perfectly nice girl.
Perfectly nice girl.
36
00:03:43,003 --> 00:03:47,497
She�s a bow-wow.
Let Cliff Coren take her.
He likes animals.
37
00:03:50,143 --> 00:03:53,374
- You got something for me?
- Don�t I always?
38
00:03:53,446 --> 00:03:57,780
Here�s the breakdown.
The Rockridge prom kings
from the last 10 years.
39
00:03:57,851 --> 00:04:03,289
Letterman, letterman, quarterback,
all-star, all-state, every year, every time.
40
00:04:03,356 --> 00:04:05,950
Are there any student body presidents?
41
00:04:07,327 --> 00:04:09,818
Would you stop worrying about Cliff?
lt�s all set.
42
00:04:09,896 --> 00:04:14,856
You get the crown, the throne,
the robe, and he gets... Shirley.
43
00:04:14,935 --> 00:04:18,701
- It�s 7:30.
So what do you say, chief?
You need a ride?
44
00:04:18,772 --> 00:04:20,899
What, you on your scooter, Wylie?
45
00:04:20,974 --> 00:04:22,965
Sure, why?
46
00:04:23,043 --> 00:04:28,413
No thanks, sport.
I think l�ll take the Camaro.
47
00:04:32,052 --> 00:04:34,111
Well?
48
00:04:53,239 --> 00:04:54,934
Hey, it�s taken.
49
00:04:55,008 --> 00:04:58,637
Yeah? You big ape.
Gimme a break!
50
00:05:07,020 --> 00:05:09,011
Morning, Stan.
You got �em?
51
00:05:10,857 --> 00:05:13,382
Here you go. Happy birthday.
Here. Enjoy it, kids.
52
00:05:13,460 --> 00:05:15,394
Thank you so much.
Here you go. All right.
53
00:05:15,462 --> 00:05:17,896
Here, enjoy it.
Merry Christmas.
54
00:05:17,964 --> 00:05:21,297
No extra charge for the autograph.
Suitable for framing. How about that?
55
00:05:21,368 --> 00:05:24,360
Oh, look.
Good morning, girls.
Next time it�ll be poster size.
56
00:05:29,476 --> 00:05:31,910
- There�s Cliff.
- No kidding.
57
00:05:40,253 --> 00:05:42,585
Oh, thanks.
58
00:05:42,656 --> 00:05:44,681
Oh, gee, sorry, Shirley,
59
00:05:44,758 --> 00:05:49,457
but l-l promised that one to, uh-
to this geek here.
60
00:05:49,529 --> 00:05:52,430
- But I don�t want a newspaper.
- Take this or die.
61
00:05:52,499 --> 00:05:54,490
Oh.
62
00:05:54,567 --> 00:05:57,627
Well, maybe when you get some more.
63
00:06:00,407 --> 00:06:02,341
Bye.
64
00:06:08,181 --> 00:06:10,979
"So if you must
chew gum between classes,
65
00:06:11,051 --> 00:06:12,985
swallow it before reentering."
66
00:06:13,053 --> 00:06:16,545
"The corridor floors
are snapping like flypaper."
67
00:06:16,623 --> 00:06:19,456
"Now for the announcement
you�ve all been waiting for:"
68
00:06:19,526 --> 00:06:22,620
"This year�s king or queen
of the senior prom."
69
00:06:22,696 --> 00:06:24,630
"Last year the most popular girl
chose her date,"
70
00:06:24,698 --> 00:06:27,690
"so this year,
the most popular boy will choose."
71
00:06:27,767 --> 00:06:29,826
"This year we�re gonna try
something different,"
72
00:06:29,903 --> 00:06:33,100
"something more worth while
than a popularity contest."
73
00:06:33,173 --> 00:06:37,439
"To raise money for the library purchase
program, we�re gonna have a lottery."
74
00:06:37,510 --> 00:06:41,970
"And anyone who sells the most
lottery tickets in the next 24 hours..."
75
00:06:42,048 --> 00:06:47,884
"will be this year2�s Rockridge High
king of the prom.
76
00:06:47,954 --> 00:06:49,888
How many?
77
00:06:52,992 --> 00:06:55,722
This ought to cover it.
78
00:06:55,795 --> 00:07:01,495
Tonight�s meteor shower is the largest
of its kind in this hemisphere...
79
00:07:01,568 --> 00:07:04,401
for as long as we�ve been
keeping records.
80
00:07:04,471 --> 00:07:07,804
Think you�re hot stuff�cause you got
an hour or two jump on me, huh, Bozo?
81
00:07:07,874 --> 00:07:10,172
Look at me. Do I look bothered to you?
Do I look disturbed?
82
00:07:10,243 --> 00:07:12,734
- Seriously disturbed.
- Yeah?
83
00:07:12,812 --> 00:07:16,475
Well, I eat twerps like you for breakfast
and spit out the pencils, okay?
84
00:07:16,549 --> 00:07:20,383
Mr. Bender,
what did I just say?
85
00:07:20,453 --> 00:07:24,082
Uh, you asked us
to take a shower tonight.
86
00:07:26,159 --> 00:07:29,890
- Meteors.
- Uh, you asked us to watch
a meteor shower tonight.
87
00:07:29,963 --> 00:07:32,363
No, Mr. Bender.
88
00:07:32,432 --> 00:07:36,835
I told you to watch
the meteor shower tonight.
89
00:07:36,903 --> 00:07:41,135
We�ve been blessed with perfect weather.
So it should be quite a show.
90
00:07:41,207 --> 00:07:43,539
You�re dog meat, pal.
91
00:07:43,610 --> 00:07:47,444
You�re sweating, buddy.
92
00:07:50,750 --> 00:07:53,446
This table�s taken.
Oh, hello, Stan.
93
00:07:55,021 --> 00:07:59,924
This really is the best table.
People like to put it down.
94
00:07:59,993 --> 00:08:04,089
- But it is the nicest spot in the cafeteria.
- It�s taken.
95
00:08:05,165 --> 00:08:08,726
I know nobody�s supposed to sit here,
but l�m sure Brad won�t mind.
96
00:08:08,802 --> 00:08:11,464
I like your shirt.
97
00:08:11,538 --> 00:08:14,735
Do you suppose I could just wait here
until he comes?
98
00:08:14,808 --> 00:08:18,141
We�d have lots to talk about. And I think
it would make a positive statement.
99
00:08:18,211 --> 00:08:21,237
You know, he�s popular
and l�m- I�m intelligent.
100
00:08:21,314 --> 00:08:24,249
And if intelligent people and popular
people get together just once, I mean,
101
00:08:24,317 --> 00:08:26,911
the symbolism alone would bejust-
102
00:08:29,889 --> 00:08:31,823
Great.
103
00:08:42,235 --> 00:08:44,829
And the more tickets you buy,
the more it cinches...
104
00:08:44,904 --> 00:08:49,136
an already foregone conclusion that...
105
00:08:49,209 --> 00:08:52,940
you will be my choice for...
106
00:08:53,012 --> 00:08:56,140
- prom queen.
- Thanks.
107
00:08:59,652 --> 00:09:04,146
- Francine, do you think it�s the glasses?
- I don�t know.
108
00:09:04,224 --> 00:09:09,218
Five tickets for Queen Debbie.
109
00:09:09,295 --> 00:09:14,255
I like the sound of that. It sounds
kind of... regal, don�t you think?
110
00:09:15,602 --> 00:09:17,536
Is this better?
111
00:09:20,373 --> 00:09:22,841
I don�t know.
112
00:09:22,909 --> 00:09:26,242
Perfect. I�m a Sagittarius.
113
00:09:26,312 --> 00:09:28,803
So prom night�s in the stars.
114
00:09:28,882 --> 00:09:31,612
Can I put you down for 10 tickets?
115
00:09:41,794 --> 00:09:44,558
I�ll take 10.
116
00:09:44,631 --> 00:09:46,895
One at a time.
117
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,970
Selling tickets?
A worm like you, Connor?
118
00:09:57,043 --> 00:09:58,977
For Cliff. I�m selling �em for Cliff.
119
00:09:59,045 --> 00:10:01,707
You know what this means, don�t you?
120
00:10:02,715 --> 00:10:07,880
No, not-
The temple ofdoom!
121
00:10:07,954 --> 00:10:10,354
- No!
122
00:10:10,423 --> 00:10:12,357
Wylie, you�re special effects
today, aren�t you?
123
00:10:12,425 --> 00:10:14,586
No, Stan is. I�m sound.
Stan.
124
00:10:14,661 --> 00:10:16,856
Oh, come on, you guys.!
l got P.E. next period.!
125
00:10:16,930 --> 00:10:21,264
No, no. No, not the cauldron ofterror.!
126
00:10:25,972 --> 00:10:30,136
- How does the agony of defeat taste, sport?
- Kind of like licking an ashtray?
127
00:10:30,209 --> 00:10:32,404
You haven�t won yet, Bender.
128
00:10:32,478 --> 00:10:36,676
Listen, Cliffy, the only thing
that can stop me now...
129
00:10:36,749 --> 00:10:38,683
is an act of God.
130
00:10:57,737 --> 00:11:00,934
"Brad? Brad, was that-Are you okay?"
131
00:11:01,007 --> 00:11:03,976
"Brad, what�s going on there? Brad?"
132
00:11:04,043 --> 00:11:05,977
"Hello? Brad?"
133
00:11:06,045 --> 00:11:08,377
You pray regularly, don�t you, Cliff?
134
00:11:08,448 --> 00:11:11,076
Tell Him He missed!
135
00:11:37,810 --> 00:11:42,543
Five, three, four.
136
00:11:43,850 --> 00:11:46,751
Three even.
137
00:11:46,819 --> 00:11:49,481
I�m gonna recalibrate here.
Go to range two.
138
00:11:49,555 --> 00:11:53,389
- There�s a report of a second meteor.
- l�ve got four.
139
00:11:54,894 --> 00:11:59,058
Four, two. Four even.
140
00:12:03,036 --> 00:12:08,338
Eight. We�re at eight.
I can�t believe these levels.
141
00:12:09,776 --> 00:12:13,678
Do you suppose we can get a few
shots without you, Mr. Bender?
142
00:12:13,746 --> 00:12:16,408
Okay. Yeah, sure.
143
00:12:16,482 --> 00:12:19,508
Yeah, sure.
144
00:12:19,585 --> 00:12:22,850
I love it. I love it.
145
00:12:22,922 --> 00:12:24,856
This is incredible.
146
00:12:24,924 --> 00:12:27,893
I mean practically everything
in this room is magnetized.
147
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,690
l�m surprised you�re not.
148
00:12:40,506 --> 00:12:43,236
These levels are the highest l�ve seen.
149
00:12:44,243 --> 00:12:48,407
- Have they located the other one yet?
- No, they�re still looking.
150
00:12:48,481 --> 00:12:52,383
Personally, I have my doubts.
The odds of two meteorites
hitting on the same night are-
151
00:12:52,452 --> 00:12:55,478
I know, I know.
But the whole neighborhood saw it.
152
00:12:59,225 --> 00:13:01,386
Hey, you guys. Ow.
153
00:13:02,662 --> 00:13:05,722
You won�t believe what just-
154
00:13:08,067 --> 00:13:12,094
It must be some massive internal
electromagnetic charge.
155
00:13:12,171 --> 00:13:14,503
I�d like to measure
any electrical flux.
156
00:13:14,574 --> 00:13:17,304
- Where do we insert it?
- Right here.
157
00:13:22,548 --> 00:13:27,645
Uh, that�s a hell of a big hole, isn�t it?
158
00:13:45,037 --> 00:13:48,768
- Bradley, you come out of there.
You�re gonna be late for school.
- I�m not going.
159
00:13:48,841 --> 00:13:50,968
Why not?
l�m sick.
160
00:13:51,978 --> 00:13:53,912
- He�s sick.
- He�s sick?
161
00:13:53,980 --> 00:13:56,972
- What do you mean you�re sick?
- l�m not going to school, Wylie.
162
00:13:57,049 --> 00:13:58,983
Why not?
163
00:13:59,051 --> 00:14:00,882
I can�t tell you.
164
00:14:00,953 --> 00:14:03,615
I don�t care what your reason is.
You�ve gotta go to school.
165
00:14:03,689 --> 00:14:06,749
- Now, move it, Bender. I�ll see you there.
- I�m not going!
166
00:14:06,826 --> 00:14:09,056
You�ve got to go or you forfeit.
167
00:14:09,128 --> 00:14:11,824
I don�t care about being
king of the prom.
168
00:14:11,898 --> 00:14:14,298
Or you forfeit to Cliff.
169
00:14:16,169 --> 00:14:18,501
Ouch.!
170
00:15:14,527 --> 00:15:17,018
Not one word.
171
00:15:27,039 --> 00:15:29,337
There. I won. I�m going home.
172
00:15:29,408 --> 00:15:33,504
Not so fast, Bradley.
I have to count the receipts first.
173
00:15:33,579 --> 00:15:35,513
Go ahead and make it quick.
I�m sick.
174
00:15:35,581 --> 00:15:37,981
I�m going home
as soon as you announce it.
175
00:15:47,226 --> 00:15:52,528
The percentage of meteors that survive
entry into the atmosphere is so small...
176
00:15:52,598 --> 00:15:57,763
that the odds against it happening
locally to some one in our class...
177
00:15:57,837 --> 00:16:01,238
are astronomical, no pun intended.
178
00:16:01,307 --> 00:16:04,367
So, Mr. Bender,
l�d likeyou to write us a report...
179
00:16:04,443 --> 00:16:07,344
on what happened
at your house last night.
180
00:16:07,413 --> 00:16:09,677
Mr. Bender?
181
00:17:02,501 --> 00:17:04,264
Yeah, see you later at practice.
182
00:18:24,049 --> 00:18:26,745
"Mondo bizarro."
183
00:18:35,261 --> 00:18:37,252
Students, everyone.
184
00:18:37,329 --> 00:18:40,765
Forgive me for interrupting.
Has anyone seen Brad Bender?
185
00:18:46,272 --> 00:18:48,763
Hey, some guys are looking
for you man, scientists.
186
00:18:48,841 --> 00:18:50,866
I know. I know.
187
00:18:55,681 --> 00:19:00,448
You�ve seen him this morning?
Yeah, in the hallway. Why?
188
00:19:00,519 --> 00:19:04,319
Well, we located
the other meteorite and, uh-
189
00:19:04,390 --> 00:19:06,324
Have you noticed anything unusual?
190
00:19:17,236 --> 00:19:20,137
Well, we�ll have to run some tests
of course, but the amazing thing-
191
00:19:20,206 --> 00:19:22,140
Wait a minute, l don�t understand it.
192
00:19:22,208 --> 00:19:24,540
I�ve got him next period.
You can talk to him yourself.
193
00:19:24,610 --> 00:19:28,569
Fine, l�ll wait right here,
if you don�t mind.
194
00:19:45,831 --> 00:19:49,096
There he is.
195
00:19:52,004 --> 00:19:54,234
We�d like to talk to you,
Mr. Bender.
196
00:19:54,306 --> 00:19:58,640
I�m not gonna be your guinea pig.
197
00:20:16,829 --> 00:20:20,856
You jerk. Laura says that she�s
gonna be your date for the prom.
198
00:20:22,401 --> 00:20:25,029
Hey, Brad. We wanna talk toyou.
199
00:20:25,104 --> 00:20:29,097
There you are.
Jeannie says she�s gonna be prom queen.
200
00:20:29,174 --> 00:20:33,008
"Your attention please.
The lottery tickets have been counted."
201
00:20:33,078 --> 00:20:35,979
"This year�s prom king is..."
202
00:20:37,016 --> 00:20:39,211
"Brad Bender."
203
00:21:37,009 --> 00:21:39,443
All right. All right.
204
00:21:39,511 --> 00:21:42,912
So l�m magnetic. So what?
205
00:21:54,493 --> 00:21:57,189
Big deal.
206
00:22:00,299 --> 00:22:02,859
- So you like that, huh?
- Yeah!
207
00:22:17,249 --> 00:22:19,410
There�s no need to be alarmed,
Mr. Bender.
208
00:22:19,485 --> 00:22:21,953
As far as we�ve been able to ascertain,
209
00:22:22,021 --> 00:22:25,479
-your magnetism is no threat to your health.
- How the hell do you know?
210
00:22:25,557 --> 00:22:30,256
Because the other meteor crashed into a
house only a few blocks away from yours-
211
00:22:54,286 --> 00:22:58,484
The other meteorite.
212
00:22:59,491 --> 00:23:02,255
Oh, my God.
213
00:23:02,327 --> 00:23:05,490
Brad Bender.
214
00:23:05,564 --> 00:23:07,657
No!
215
00:23:17,209 --> 00:23:21,339
No, please! l�ll be a good boy.
I�ll abdicate to Cliff.
216
00:23:21,413 --> 00:23:24,871
I�ll raise funds for charity.
I�ll prevent forest fires.
217
00:23:24,950 --> 00:23:27,885
I�ll save the whales.
I�ll help Jerry�s Kids.
218
00:23:27,953 --> 00:23:32,014
I�ll listen to Menudo records.
Anything!
219
00:23:32,091 --> 00:23:34,491
No!
220
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,961
No!
221
00:23:40,365 --> 00:23:42,560
No!
222
00:23:43,535 --> 00:23:46,527
No!
17639
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