All language subtitles for coc-innocence [SubtitleTools.com]

[Man]: Dear Claire,

I learned recently
that you lived nearby,

that you exist.

Since then, I've been fighting
the need to contact you.

But that need has slowly grown,
refuses to go away.

It's more than 40 years
since we met, since we loved.

Everything is
so quickly forgotten.

I'm writing to you now
because right through my life,

there was always an image...
of you travelling with me.

An image of you stopping

on that little bridge,

with both your hands
in the pocket of my coat.

I rememberyouryouth,

your innocence,

your smile.

We've all dreamed
those strange dreams

in which nothing's impossible.

I would like to meet you again.

Is this... possible?

Yours,

Andreas Borg.

[Woman]: Dear Andreas,

I was so touched
by your letter.

Many years have gone by
and so much has happened.

And yet nothing much
has happened.

Yes, I would like
to see you again.

But you must know
I'm a fragile old lady

with a son and three
grandchildren. I shall come

and see you by train,
like we used to.

Affectionately,

Claire.

Andreas?

- Claire.

- No, it's not like that at all.

- Like what? Tell me.

- Well, I think it's only normal

that after some time
a marriage gets a bit jaded.

- Not at our age. I mean,
you pass that stage and just...

carry on.
- Oh? What do you know about it?

[Laughing]
- More than enough.

Don't look around.
- What?

[Both laughing]

I'm not going to pretend
I don't like you anymore.

We're too old forthat.

- What about love you anymore?

We went beyond liking.

- Hm, well that's true.

- After all those years...

we're still the same.

I don't know what to say.

- Now, don't you get sentimental.

You know, for so many years,

I wondered how someone
like you -you know,

like a fine artist, a musician -

could've been the son

of such a hard,
insensitive father.

- Lest we forgive and forget.

Now I thought you lived
in England.

Imagined you at...
Kent or Surrey.

Somewhere in the country,
away from all the noise.

You always hated noise.
- Fate decides these things.

It's all fate.

- What, we have no say
in the matter?

- Of course we have
a say in the matter.

- You haven't changed.

- Of course I've changed.

- Of course you have.

So...

What kind of man is he?

- We're good friends.

That's all that really
matters in the end.

- Did you enjoy?
- Yes, thank you.

- Do you often come here?

Yes, I can't resist! Well,
the food's good, it's close-by

and... sometimes,

she smiles.

- I've enjoyed today.

Thank you, Andreas.

- Me too.

Claire,

wonderful to see you,

to...

talk to you...

To find you, uh...

still so much alive.

Your warmth...

clings to me.
[Coughing]

I... I look at myself
in the mirror.

So many wrinkles!

I didn't recognise myself.

You looked... Exactly the way
I thought you looked.

Uh... youwouldlook, I mean.

These days, I can never
look at a face without...

Seeing the skull.

It's a... dreadful habit!

With you, there was no skull.

We must meet again.

Life is short, as they say.

- My dear Andreas,

you have a sweet, sentimental
streak in you which I so adore.

But it's just not realistic
to pick up the threads

and think you can
go on from there.

We're really too old now
to ruin our lives

and hurt the people
that love us.

I once loved you very much.

It affected the rest
of my life.

But we can't start that again.

I shall always love you,
but please,

dear Andreas...

[doorbell ringing]

- Hello, my darling.

- What's going on, Dad? Why
haven't you answered my calls?

I've been worrying
myself stupid.

- How are you?

- What's the matter, Dad?

- Nothing's the matter.

I'm perfectly alright.

Unless you think this is
my mid-life crisis.

- You're too old forthat!
- Don't be cruel.

[She giggles.]

How's Nick?
- He's fine.

Eh... Not that great.

I never see him,
and when I do he's tired.

We spend most of
ourtime working.

- Can I do anything?
- It's all yourfault!

That sentimental streak
in the family.

I always remember
how things were.

The good times.

And then... life becomes life.

Anyway, what did the doctor say?

Did you tell him
you're a hypochondriac?

- No, he told me.

Now leave that. I'll...
I'll clean it later.

- How much later?
It won't take a second.

- What do you mean,
"life becomes life"?

- You go on and on...

Day after day,
pretend it's alright.

So many people
are dead inside.

Nothing.

Afew memories,

a few thoughts of the past
and then we go on,

as if... nothing happens.

- What's supposed to happen then?

- I don't know.

I don't know. We should live.

- At least people of my age
have their memories.

- That's not exclusive
to your age.

- How do you define memories?
I mean, what's a happy memory?

What's a sad one?

When does a thought of the past

actually become a memory?

Thoughts of yesterday,

are they memories?

- You always make things more
complicated than they are!

I wasn't talking about the past.
It'snowthat matters.

- That's true.

Especially now.

- Very funny.

Please answerthe phone
next time it rings.

Promise?

- You know what really
matters in life?

- You tell me.

- Love. Everything
else is rubbish.

- That's so naive.
- It's naive not to believe that.

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

- Hello.

Hello?

- Who was it?
- That's the third time.

Someone rings and then hangs up.

Well, if Gerald calls, I've gone
to choir practice. Okay?

- That tie suits you.
- Hm. You gave it to me.

- Did I?

[Humming]

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

Hello?

I knew it was you...

Yes, I promised I wouldn't
see you again, but...

I see you in front
of me all the time.

- Glad you could
make it, Mr. Borg.

We're moving the whole cemetery.
This is prime real estate now.

- Thank you for coming.

- How old was the grave?

I mean, when did she die?

- Oh, about 30 years ago.

It's a long time.

- I don't understand
why you had to be there.

- Oh, that's the rule and...

Otherwise, they're not allowed
to touch. Huh!

But they, uh...
they do it anyhow.

She was a beautiful
woman, my wife.

We shared a lot of lust.

I could feel herflesh.

I could smell her again.

- You loved her.
- Oh, yes. Yes I loved her.

More when she got ill.

- Sh-sh-sh...

- Would you...
stay with me tonight?

I... I don't want to be alone.

- Yes.

If we're going to do this,
let's do it like grownups.

Close the curtains.

Then close your eyes.

- That's not very grownup.

- Yes, it is.

Can I trust you?

- Can I trustyou?

- No, you can't.

- I've got some of those
airline blindfolds.

Do you want to try that?

- No. Just keep your eyes closed.

- I'm getting very nervous.
- Trust me.

- Well, you just told me...
- Shh.

We're grownups now.

I don't know what to tell him.

- It's better not to say
anything. Who would understand?

- I'm too old for lies!

- You've made me very happy.

- Me too.

- Oh, I love you.
I've always loved you.

[Snoring]

[Snoring]

[Snoring]

[Snoring]

[Snoring]

- And, uh, what did
you do last night?

- Oh, went out.

- I know that.

Where'd you go?
- Meeting an old friend.

- Who was that?
- No one you know.

- Come on, we've been married
long enough not to have secrets.

- Yes, well, that's true.

- Well, who was it?

- Well, I mean,
who did you meet last night?

I don't know everybody you meet.

- Mm, that's true.

Oh, and don't
forget the tickets,

forthe concert
on Saturday night?

Of course, I can't go.
- Oh, and why not?

- I told you. We've got this
farewell dinner at the club.

- Oh.

- Are you finished?
- Yes.

- But... Yourfriend,
you might like to take her.

- Yes, well, I might ask him.

- Oh, and, uh, our choir,
we're performing in three weeks.

- John, would you listen
to me for a moment?

- I am listening.
- No. No, you're not.

- I am.

- We shouldn't have secrets.
Wearetoo old forthat.

- Well, that's what ljust said.

Look, can we have a chat
tonight? I'm late.

- Oh, yes. Well,
we'll talk tonight

if that suits you better.

- What do you want to say, then?

- Nothing.

- Come on. You might
as well tell me now.

- Look, you said you were late.
What I have to say

might take a long time.

- Well, if it bothers you,
I'll stay.

- I think it might botheryou.

- Well?

- I went to bed with someone
I knew a long time ago...

That's what I did last night.

- Good one, darling!

What are you trying to say?

- I said, I slept
with an old friend.

I made love to him.

- And how was it?

- What?

- The lovemaking, of course!

- You don't believe me, do you?

- Of course I don't believe you.
What is this? What's the matter?

- No, I'm sorry, I told you.

- Look, Claire, Claire...

What sort of a joke is this?
- It's not a joke.

And why is it so hard
foryou to accept?

- Accept?
Accept?

- When did we last
make love? Do you remember?

- Oh, come on, please,
what's brought this on?

- It was 20 years ago,
almost to the day.

- I... I've got to go.

We'll talk about this when
I get back, alright? I'm late.

This is absurd.

Yes, I know...

It's crazy...

Look, have you got
time to see her?

No, uh... not as her son.

As a, uh... as a doctor...

Yeah...

Well, yes. Yes, I am worried...

Very worried. She's obviously
depressed or something...

Yeah...

You remember about, uh...
oh, about 12 months ago?

- Where is he, Maudie?
- He's inside.

- Is he alright?

- Well, he's okay, but...
well, he's a wee bit strange.

He's forgotten that
I come here every Tuesday.

- Well, it's Wednesday.
- Well, I came yesterday,

but he wasn't at home.

Now, I don't have a key,
so I came back today.

But he still thinks
it's yesterday!

- Yes, yes, that sounds familiar.

[Whistling]

[Whistling]

- Oh, how did you get in?

- Through the door.

- That's unusual.

Maudie's losing it.

Never knows what day it is.

- Yeah, she thinks
it's Wednesday!

- Exactly.

- So, when are we going up north?

- You and Nick should go.

Uh... I can't.

- What do you mean, you can't?

- Can you remember when
you first fell in love?

- Yeah, sort of.

- How you, uh...

really felt -

the first time, I mean.
- It was agony.

- Well...

I'm in love again.

- Again?

- With my very first love.

And it's...

It's not agony.

- Well, does she love you too?

- Well, for her it's
more difficult, but...

I know she loves me!
- Don't get carried away!

Keep yourfeet
firmly on the ground.

- You know, we've always
talked about everything.

That's a blessing.

You're a wonderful child.

- You're a wonderful child, too.

- Don't you think it's odd
he doesn't believe me?

- Is it true, then?

- Funny how the roles
are reversed.

Now I'm being watched
and not believed,

like a 16-year-old girl.
- Well, should I believe you?

- Do you think I'd make this up?
Come on, David.

- Mum, you're nearly 70!
- Yes, I know.

I've thought of that.

Does that make any
difference, really?

I probably wouldn't have
slept with him

if yourfather and I had
been physically close.

- He doesn't believe you.
Sit down.

Let's have a look at this eye.

- No, the worst one's
the left one.

I think I'm getting
an infection again.

You remember when
he hadhisaffair?

And we lived with that and
we had to try to forgive him.

Now I didn't believe that it
happened for a long time,

but it had...

- Yeah, but Mum,
that was 20 years ago.

What are you going to do now?

- I don't know.

Nobody knows.

Please try to understand.

I don't really
understand it myself.

Yourfather's...
he's always the same.

He's always kind,

he's always perfect.

But I... I've wanted sometimes
for him to be a bit foolish.

To be vulnerable, to need me...

Women are like that.
We can't help it.

I never had the faintest
intention of being unfaithful,

but now I've done it
because a man I once loved

broke down on his wife's grave
and was tender and weak.

Don't judge me lightly.

I'm so sorry to have
disappointed you,

but life is brutal at times.
- You haven't disappointed me.

- It isn't always
possible to resist,

to obey the rules and deny
the things that really matter.

I don't think women
are any different from men

in their secret adventures.
- Mum, Mum, stop.

- It isn't only because this man
was tender and vulnerable.

I'm in love with him.

- Do you know that women
live longerthan men?

- Yes.
- Why do you think that is?

- Well, even if I knew the
answer, I wouldn't tell you!

- These days, there's always
some sort of excuse for death.

- Well, so there should be.
Death cannot be justified.

- Yesterday, I read in the paper

that a 95-year-old man
died of cancer.

And I have a suspicion
that he died of old age.

There's always some
disease that kills us.

It's life that's the killer.
We die because we're alive.

- You haven't changed a bit!

- Neither have you.

- Oh, I like talking about life.
Don't often get the chance.

- Look what I found...

[organ music]

"Ami, le hibou pleure
où volait la colombe.

Et ton sang souterrain
a fleuri surta tombe.

Et mes yeux qui t'ont vu
sont las

d'avoir pleuré
loin de tes bras pieux

et de ta bouche triste."

- Merveilleux.

- What do you want me to do,
David? I mean, what can I do?

- Have you tried talking to her?

- And she wants to start
driving again!

I do love her. You know that.

I've always loved her.

Now I realise just how much.
- It's nevertoo late.

- Don't be facetious, David.
- I'm only trying to help.

Look, tell me
to shut up but, uh...

When was the last time
you two made love?

How long ago?

- Look, I'm not
one of your patients!

What's that got to do with it?

At my age... you worry
about otherthings!

- What about her age?

- You know her health
is not the best.

She's got a heart condition,
huh? You bloody well know that!

- She's tougherthan you think.

Might even be good
for her heart.

- Come on, John. Yourturn.

- Haven't you got
anything to say?

Why are you putting me
to the test like this?

- Normally, you don't even
look up when I come in.

- Claire!

Are you out of your mind?
We are married!

We've been married for45 years!

- Forty-fouryears,
three months, six days.

- Yes, almost 45 years!

Look, I want you to go
and see a doctor.

- I've seen a doctor.
- Who did you see?

- Your son's a doctor, isn't he?

- Oh for God's sake!
Look at yourself!

Claire? Open the door.

- No.

- Open the door!

Open the bloody door!

- I think I'll... I think I'll
leave you alone for a few days.

- Oh no, you won't!
- What are you doing?

- You are my wife!
- Stop it!

- You'll bloody well stay here!
- Stop it! Stop it! Leave...

- Oh.

Claire, what...
- Are... are you alone?

- What's a... Yes.
- Are you not going out?

- No. No, no, what...
- I can't go on like this.

- Like what?
- You don't know. It's awful...

- Now come on. Please, tell me...
- I can't go on. It's impossible.

- What's impossible?
- Everything.

Andreas, could I stay here,
just fortonight, please.

- Yes, of course
you can stay here.

But, well, why don't we
go to a hotel?

- No, I don't want to do that.
I want to stay here with you!

- Well, um, my daughter will...
She'll get a bit of a shock...

- You don't love me, do you?

I mean, if you love me,
you would keep me here.

- It's not a question of love...
- Yes, yes it is!

I mean, keep me here, help me.

- Well, you're very upset,
my darling. Now tomorrow, we...

- No! There won't be a tomorrow!
Now you take me, here and now!

Otherwise, you will never,
ever see me again.

- Oh, you're overwrought, but...
- You know, I really thought

you loved me enough!
- Claire, please listen to me...

- No, it's too late!
It's too late!

I don't want sacrifice,
I want love!

- You know where she is?

- With her lover, of course.

- Do you know where he lives?

- Yes. I found out.

Oh, God. Love at her age!

It's ridiculous!

- She has been pretty lonely.
You know that, don't you.

- Well, since when? I mean,

how could she be lonely?

I'm always here,
I've not neglected her!

She's off her head.

Everything has suddenly changed.

I haven't changed... Have you?

- Why should I have changed?

- That's what I mean.
People don't change -

just like that, like she has.

I tell you, she's off her head.

She needs professional help.

We must get herto a doctor,
a specialist.

- She's perfectly alright.

- God, well you're not much of
a doctor if you can't see that!

- Dad...

What would you do if
she walked in right now?

What would you say?
- What sort of question is that?

You know very well what I'd do.
- What?

- Oh, for heaven's sake, David!

- You have to live
for something - or someone.

Otherwise, life doesn't
make much sense.

- Oh, I see. You mean your
mother's living for someone

and I'm not! Is that it?
Is that what you're saying?

You've always ganged up on me,
ever since you were 12!

You and your mother!

- You know,

this is the first time you've
managed to say what you think?

Think about that.

[Laughing]

- Oh! Oh, dear!

- What's so funny?
- I was just...

I was just telling Claire that
revolting joke about the vase.

You know, when
the husband comes home

with the bunch of flowers!
- Oh, come on.

- You two should spend some time
together away from it all.

Do you know that Dad
has nevertaken a holiday?

Once. Once we went
to the seaside.

Within two days, he was packing
his bags. He just left us there.

- Don't give away all my secrets.

- I have to go to work.

Thanks... I hope
to see you soon.

- Goodbye.
- Bye.

Please look after her.
She's lovely.

Listen to her.
- I will.

- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry about last night.

- Oh, no, no. I'm sorry.

- Too much love is as bad
as no love at all.

Your daughter's
a wonderful girl.

- She's a woman.

Do you... always
mean what you say?

- I don't think I ever say
anything I don't mean.

- Love becomes more real
the closer it comes to death.

Don't you think?

- Yes.

How long do you think
we can keep this going?

- Forever.

"...Since first"

"You were my bonny bride"

"The roses all have
left your cheeks"

"Left your cheeks"

"I watched them
fade away and die"

"Your voice is sad
when e'eryou speak"

"And tears bedim
your loving eyes"

"Oh I will take you back..."

- Mr. Borg, I understand this
must be quite a shock to you.

- It... it isn't, really, no.

I've... I've been living
on borrowed time -

for quite some time.

All my life, really.

How much longer
do you think I have? I'd...

I'd like to know.

- Well, that's hard to say.

Um, these days anything can
happen, anything is possible.

- In a funny way,
I'm relieved.

Very much so.

If I'm gonna die, let's do it.
But let's do it as grownups.

- You're not going to die.

- Of course I am.
- Well...

we've booked you in
for a few days next week.

Friday and Saturday.
Is that alright with you?

- I'm having a board meeting
Friday morning,

New York Friday afternoon,
Saturday I'm playing golf

with the president...
I'm sorry, of course it's fine.

You must promise me
one thing, though.

I don't want anyone
to know. No one.

- No, I'm... I'm waiting
for a friend.

May I have a glass
of water, please?

- So, what's happening at home?

- Well, he wants me
to see a psychiatrist.

- Don't... My neighbour's
a psychiatrist...

An absolute fruitcake!

- I'm a bit edgy today. My life's
become very complicated.

- Mine...

My life's become very beautiful.

What's the matter?

- Oh, my left eye, it
doesn't get enough moisture.

- Old tears spent?

- Oh, no. The right eye
waters constantly.

Let's go somewhere,
where we can...

shed a few tears together.

[Crying]

- I still have the keys
to that church.

I used to play
the organ there,

until they discovered
I was an agnostic.

- Hah! How did they find out?

- I refused to play God Save the
Queen on the queen's birthday.

- Oh...!

- Oh... why don't you stay?

- No, I... I can't leave
him on his own. I mean...

he's very hurt and we mustn't
rush into anything silly.

- We already have.

- Yes, I know. But I can't
leave him on his own.

- I love you.

- I love you too.

[Key opening lock]

What are you doing?
- I'm cooking.

- Why?

- I wanted to spoil you,
for a change.

- Where do we go from here?

- Where can we go?

- I'm sorry.

- Me too.

I... never realised.
- Oh, I know.

It's not yourfault.
- Yes, it is.

I want to make it
up to you, Claire.

I do love you.

I've always loved you.

- You know, that's about
the first time in 30 years...

that you told me you loved me.

- I'm old, I'm tired.

I suddenly realised that
my whole... my whole life...

- Come on, it's alright.

Let's try to have
a quiet evening.

You're burning something.

- I don't want
to lose you, Claire.

I've... felt...

Too comfortable with you here.

I let the years slip by...

I was selfish.

I felt safe.

- What's safe?

- What we had. A home.

I felt we were at home here.
- That hasn't changed.

John, if I hadn't
said something,

you'd never have noticed,
You would never have known.

- I've got a right
to know who he is.

- I think if I were
30 years younger,

I would leave you
and I would marry him.

- Why do you
torture me like this?

I've not slept
since all this started.

- You're jealous,
that's the problem.

- What are you talking about?
At my age?

- Yes, at your age.

- What an absurd way to spend
the last few years of our lives.

- I've packed one pair already.
I can't weartwo.

- Pack two pairs. You always need
two pairs in hospital.

Oh, will you look at that.

I mended that last week.
I didn't do a very good job.

- I won't be wearing my coat
very much. Just leave it.

- When will I be
seeing you again, Mr. Borg?

- Why are you taking this
so seriously?

I'm going in fortests,
that's all.

- God bless you.

- He will.

God bless you too, Maudie.

- What exactly is wrong with him?

- As far as I know, he's in here
fortests. He'll tell you.

- Yes, they're doing a few tests.
I'm perfectly alright.

- What sort of tests?
- A check-up, that's all.

What, did you bring
those flowers?

- Mm-hm. They're in
the wrong vase.

- Oh.

- Why didn't you tell me
you'd booked yourself into here?

- I thought I might be in and out
and home before dinner.

- Remember when you
had yourtonsils out?

- That was extremely
embarrassing.

- Oh? Why was that embarrassing?
- Well, the matron was there

when they changed the sheets.
She was not amused!

- It's good to be
touched there, isn't it?

- Well, it depends where.

- To love is to be
aware of eternity.

That's supposed to cheeryou up.

- It's supposed
to make you think...

Careful, careful!

[Panting]

There are two kinds
of death, really.

- Only two?
- Mm. Bodily death...

And death of thought.

The body dies. That's normal,
that doesn't worry me.

It's the other death...

The "me" death.

The end of the one
that acquires the things

that he or she
thinks important.

- Acquires what?

- Attachments.

- Am I an attachment?
- Yes, you are.

But you make my life
- and my death - more...

acceptable, more beautiful.

- You mustn't separate
life and death.

They're the same in the end.
You'll understand that,

when you get to my age.
- I'm olderthan you are.

- Yes, I know. But women are
always at least 10 years ahead.

What are you doing here?
- I followed you.

- Well, that's obvious. Why?
- Is yourfriend sick?

- John, please leave me alone.
Let me live my life.

- Claire, look, you're making
a terrible mistake.

- Please go home, John!
This is pathetic!

- No, come with me
and we can talk this over...

- No, I'm not coming with you!

- Oh, you don't believe in God?

- Well, if God were
called beauty or love,

I would believe in him -
or her - alright.

- Godisbeauty and love.
- Well, that's where we differ.

I don't know that.

I only know that
through beauty and love,

I can experience something
deeper and richer

than we think life
orthe world is.

- I think we're talking about
the same thing, the same God.

- Actually, we're not
talking about God.

Oh, well you may be, but
I'm not. I'm talking about...

Afeeling, a sense of something.

- Ah, this is fascinating.

- God help us.

- The wonderful thing about God

is that he appears in many
different shapes and forms.

He manifests himself
within us and around us.

And now that is why I said

that we are talking
about the same thing!

- We may be talking about
the same thing,

but we are certainly
not talking the same language.

Now, you must see
a lot of people die.

What do you say to them?

- Well, that would all
depend who they are.

- You mean what religion
they are?

- Oh, not anymore, no. In the
face of God we are all the same.

- You must have something
to say to them.

I mean coming from you,
personally.

- To many people,
death is very difficult.

Should we say a little prayer?

- Oh, no, I don't need
a little prayer. Um...

I wish the word "god" didn't
exist. Then we'd be free

to find out who and what
God is for ourselves.

Now, I know that
goodness never dies.

And tenderness and love -
real love - never dies.

Now, if you don't believe that,
you stay where you are.

- Just forthe night, is it?
- Well maybe a week.

A month, a year? God knows.

- Will you be having
breakfast tomorrow?

- No. No breakfast, thank you.

- Uh! Phew.

- Are you alright, Mr. Borg?

Sh-sh-sh.

- Do you believe in Jesus Christ?

- Yes, I do.

- Why?

- Well, you must have faith.

I mean, Jesus helps
when you have faith.

- I don't need him to helpme.

He's busy enough.

- Do you need something
to help you sleep?

- No. Thank you anyway.
- Well, good night, Mr. Borg.

- What's your name?
- Jennifer Claire.

- Ah, that's a pretty name.
My wife's called Claire.

- Ah, I thought you were single?
- Not anymore.

Good night, Jennifer Claire.
- Good night, Mr. Borg.

- Yes, I know all that,

but it's taken him
half a century to care...

Now he realises he has emotions,
I'm scared of him...

Huh! Yes, thatis
ridiculous, I know...

And I'm so sorry David, but...

You try to get a good
night's sleep, now...

I love you...

Good night.

- Let's dance.

- I'd better get back.

- Aw, come on...

- We're dealing with
actualities, Mr. Borg.

- I appreciate that, but I'd
probably finish up with a bag.

And then the radiation
plus chemotherapy.

Now that's just not for me. No!
- What about yourfamily?

Yourfriends? You have
private health insurance.

It won't cost you anything.
- I've got my family,

my memories, the things
I've accumulated,

but I've got advanced cancer.

How do you deal with
this man who's dying?

- I've stated all the options.

There's a very good chance...

- Well, look, I'm gonna
die sometime.

But I'm not dying
outside myself.

I'm dying within myself.

And it's my problem.

You see, doctor,
I'm very much in love again.

It's happened to me twice.

I'm very lucky. Twice,
with the same woman.

Now I can live the rest
of my life dying and living

and not separating the two.

Do you understand what I mean?

- No, not really.

- When I get to the other side,
I'll send you a fax.

Or maybe an e-mail.
It's cheaper!

- Strange thing,
I've become a liability.

It's like being
a teenager again.

- Mum, it's not like that at all.
- Oh yes it is.

- Come and stay with us.
- Oh, no, David,

I don't want
to go home with you.

- Why didn't you tell us?

- How did you find me here?
- Maudie told me, of course.

I went straight to your doctor.
You're such a stubborn...

Foolish old man.
I'm very angry.

- Monique, you know
the truth, don't you?

That it's worse than
I told you, isn't it?

I... I'm sorry.

There was nothing
to be achieved by telling you.

- Does Claire know?

- No.
- You must tell her!

- I... I can't.

Remember when you had
your ears pierced?

- Yes.

And I did it behind your back.

- Yes.

- I'd never seen you so upset.

- Well, I was very angry.
- Why?

- Well... I felt it...
ruined your innocence.

I mean...

You're so perfect.

- Do you want me to come in?
- No, I'll handle it myself.

Thank you, darling.

See you tomorrow.

- I'm very glad to see you home.

- How are you?

- I'd like you to give me
another chance.

- Give yourself a chance, John.

I once asked you
if you knew who I was.

This was many years ago.

And you said it didn't matter,

as long as we were together.
I should've said something then.

- Do you know who you are?

- Now I do. I didn't before.

- Why botherto ask me, then?

- I wanted to find out
who you were.

- What sort of logic's that?

- It's not a matter of logic.

- What is it?
- It's a matter of...

Feeling complete enough...

Not to want to ask the question.

Why did you marry me?

- What sort of question's that?
- Why?

- Why did you marry me?
- Because you were honest

and dependable and
I thought you loved me.

Now why can't you answer
my question?

- I think the answer's
obvious, isn't it?

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

Hello...

Gerald! How are you?

Hm. Tonight?

I'm terribly sorry,

I... I completely forgot...

Oh, has she? Yeah, look, hang
on, I'll just speak to Claire...

We forgot about
Sally and Gerald.

- What about them?
- They've invited us to dinner.

- When?
- Tonight.

- Oh god.

- So, how's the soul-saving
business?

- Oh, business as usual.

And, uh, how are you?

- I'm leaving tonight, but, uh...

Then I might be back.
You never know.

- Oh, well good luck.
And god bless you.

- You think he would?

- You don't believe
in God, do you?

- Sometimes I do.

- Found the recipe
in an old magazine

when I was at the dentist.
French country cooking.

- Hm. You remember ourtrip
to the south of France?

Raw vegetables with every meal.

- That's why I overcooked
the broccoli.

Gerald had terrible
tummy problems

for weeks after we got back.
- Terrible wind and the runs!

Couldn't leave the house.

I heard a great joke.
Do you want to hear it?

- Oh, yes, please!

- Well, there was this old man
who went to see his doctor.

Now, this beautiful, um...
- Receptionist.

- Yeah, receptionist, she ushered
him off to the doctor's room.

And the doctor said, um,

told him to sit down and said:

"I've got good news
and bad news.

Which do you want
to hearfirst?"

And the man said: "Well, uh,
let's hearthe bad news."

And the doctor says:

"You've got cancer."

- Incurable cancer.
- Yeah, incurable.

"Most probably you won't last
more than six months."

"Not looking good". And
the man was shaken and he says:

"Well, what's
the good news, doctor?"

And the doctor says...

- "I'm having an affair
with my receptionist."

- There were these
two old ladies,

sitting on the front veranda

waiting fortheir husbands
to come home.

One of the husbands arrives home
and he walks up the pathway

with a big bunch of roses.

"Oh," says his wife,
"that's terrible.

He's brought me flowers home."

And the other woman says:

"Well I'd be pleased.
Aren't you thrilled?"

And she says: "No, because
when he brings me flowers,

I know he expects me
to lie on my back all weekend

with my legs in the air.""Oh
dear," says the other woman,

"don't you have a vase
to put them in?"

- I've never heard you
tell a joke before.

[Accordion]

- Knife.

- Thanks, darling.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Hey!

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

- Oh, sorry, Monique. No,

I... I didn't hearthe phone...

No... I'm fine...

Don't worry...

Oh, it's good to be home, yeah.

Claire?

No, she... she's not here...

Hm? I don't know...

Yeah...

Okay, darling. Yeah...

Goodnight.

- Here's to you.

- Please, John, I...

I know what you're thinking, but
I'm very tired and I'm worn out.

I feel...

I feel that I don't...

I can't accept your love
because I can't return it.

- Well, that's... too bad.

Well, it's too Fucking Bad!

- I don't know you
like this, John.

- Nor do I.

- I've always loved your...

Your kindness and
your understanding.

- You never loved me.
- Oh, that's not true.

- I was a fool ever
to have trusted you.

Well? Why don't
you say something?

- Please, John, I'll make up
a bed in the spare room.

I'm tired, I've had too much
to drink and I'm worn out.

Please, John,
let's get some sleep.

Let's be friends - not enemies.

- I'm suffering
and you don't care.

I'm talking to you,

you're listening to me,

yet we're alone together.

Do you understand?

- But it was always like that.

The only change now
is that you're aware of it.

DearJohn,

you'd never have spoken
your heart now,

you would've never said
the things you've said

if I hadn't done
the things I did,

if I hadn't made a change.

You'd have gone about your daily
routine slowly towards the end.

- What are you doing?

- I'm going to phone my friend,
see if he's alright.

- No, you're not!

- Then I will leave you now.
Don't try to stop me.

[Doorbell]

[Doorbell]

- Oh!

Oh, Mr. Borg. Oh, I'm sorry,
I didn't know you were at home.

I have a key. Look,
you go back to bed.

I'll come back another
time. I'm really sorry.

You frightened
the life out of me.

- Don't worry, Maudie,
it's alright.

- What did the hospital say?
Is everything alright?

- Yes, everything's fine.
Nothing to worry about.

Ah, this is, uh, Claire, Maudie.
A very old friend of mine.

- Oh, it's very nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you too.

- I... I'll go now and, uh,
I'll come back tomorrow.

- That's alright, Maudie.

She's... staying here, with me.

- Well, uh, you won't be wanting
me to clean your house anymore.

- No, of course. No,
we want you to continue.

- She was terribly shocked.
- She's had a dreadful life.

She had five children.
Her husband used to beat her.

- Oh, heavens!

- One day, she just packed
her bags and left...

Mussolini is still
one of her heroes.

- Oh, good heavens, why?
- Well, she was an orphan

and she claims
he looked after orphans

by building orphanages
all over Italy!

- She's very fond of you.

- What can I get you, sir?
- Uh, mineral water.

- Monique was... marvellous.
- Wasn't she?

Oh, dear. Parenthood,
it's so difficult.

- What, here?
- Yes!

- I had no idea anybody
knew what I was up to.

- Oh, well, you see...

Is it going to be like this
all the time, John?

- Yes.

- I can't help you.
Not the way you are now.

- I didn't ask foryour help.
You've ruined my life.

- And now you want to ruin mine.

Andreas, this is John,
my husband.

- Do you want me to leave you?
- Yes.

- No.

- Now, maybe we can go back
to my place and... talk it over.

- Talk what over?
- You must understand...

- I understand nothing.

What do you think you're
doing with my wife?

- I love her.

- That's enough to ruin
a marriage and my life?

- John, stop it.

- You leave her alone
and mind your own business!

- What about my business?
What about me?

- You are my wife.
- Oh, let's go. There's no point.

- I'm really sorry.
- That's good to know.

- He's never going to give up.
This'll take years!

- He hasn't got that many left.
- Neither have we.

I... I've never seen him
like this before.

That's not like him at all!

I feel so confused,
so incomplete.

- I used to feel like that most
of the time when I was young.

Especially after I lost you.

I used to sit up all night
with my hopes and journeys.

But life was before me then.
Now it's behind me, I'm...

More content, I think.

- And there's nothing
you wish for?

- No, not really.
- No, well that can't be true.

You regret the past, don't you?
- It was all forthe best.

- No. No it wasn't.

You never really fought
to get me back.

I expected you to come every
night, to arrive one night

and save me. Which you didn't,
and I was miserable for so long.

- I knew nothing of life.

I listened to my father,
I obeyed him.

- You don't love me
as you once did.

That old love's gone.

- Each stage in life
has its own kind of love.

Now it's... deeper, purer.

Pared down to the essential.

We spend years destroying
that part of love that...

gives us pain.

- How can you love me
if you think that?

- Please, Claire, I love you...

Much less selfishly now.

I was wrong when I said I didn't
regret the past. I do regret it.

- So love remains,
but it's not the same.

What you're looking for in me
is no longerthere.

- I love you...

Simply and justly.

- John also loves me
simply and justly.

It's hopeless!

I mean, if we hadn't met again,

everything would've come
to a natural conclusion.

- Or unnatural conclusion.

- Dad, you have got to let her
work it out for herself.

You are not achieving anything
by running after her.

- Yes, I know that.

I've made a total
fool of myself.

- Well, at least you admit it.
- Hm. Do I get points forthat?

You know, I don't
understand women.

Never have. Do you?

Do you understand women?

- You're not supposed
to understand them.

- What are you trying to tell me?

- Why are you so defensive?
- I'm not.

Once, I used to worry
about, you know, cheers,

the club, my car,

mortgages, interest rates,

all that sort of stuff.

Now I think about
your mother all the time.

I worry about her.

- You've become more human.

- I find it hard to believe how
it could've been so one-sided.

What will happen to us all?

- Lf you don't feel well,
we don't have to stay.

We can cancel the meal!

- Oh no, she would
probably kill us?

No, no I'll be alright.

My eyes are hurting
a bit, that's all.

As long as you keep
your promise.

- Lf I get caught,

you have to bail me out.

- I'll probably join you in jail.

Could be the best
solution for us all.

- No, we should live
our lives and...

- And what?

- Enjoy your meals.
- Thank you.

- And be happy.

What did I live for until now?

- Well, at least you had
your music, your books,

yourtalent, your children.
All I did was produce one son

and thought that happiness was
living through other people.

- Perhaps that's true.

- Ah.
- What's the matter?

- I'm... I'll just get
a bit of fresh air.

I'll be back in a minute.
- Claire, no, I'll come with you.

[Clapping]

We need some light.

To feel the full power, you
should be right in the middle.

If anyone comes,
just lie flat on the floor.

- I love you dearly.
You're my life.

- Claire?

Claire?

Oh. Oh...

[whispering]: I'm David.

[Whispering]

[Claire]:
I've lived an ordinary life.

Nothing special...

Maybe the only thing
that's special about me

is I know my time has come.

My heart has had quite enough.

I caused such hurt allowing
it to blossom again.

I ask you all to forgive me.

But any other way would've
been wrong, would've killed me.

The only way to be
happy is to love.

To love everybody
and everything.

To love the world.

Those who think that's
naive are wrong...

I've loved you both
differently but completely.

My love will
always be with you.

Be happy for me.