Original subtitles

(rock music)

♫ I'm amazed at the things that you say

♫ I'd heard it all before, just another day

♫ January, February, all the same

♫ March, April, May's coming back again

♫ Oh, why?

♫ 'Cause it's the worst year of my life again

♫ It's looped around and pulled me back in now

♫ Yesterday has come again, oh no

♫ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

♫ The worst year of my life again

(alarm blares)

- Okay, so we have Aunt Ethel's home phone,

Aunt Ethel's mobile phone.

Mrs. Peters is the next door neighbour,

She's-- - Mum, Mum, chill.

- You'll only be gone one night, Okay?

- Okay. Okay.

- See ya.

- Bye, guys.

- Send our love to Auntie Ethel.

- Okay. Be good!

- Love you. Have fun.

Drive safe.

- See ya, Dad.

- Love you!

- [Both] Woo!

- The house is ours!

Come on, the party isn't going to organise itself.

- But I invited Simon over for DVDs and pizza.

- Well, as long as that creep doesn't ruin my party,

I don't care what you do.

- So, we can come too?

- Sure thing.

In fact, Slug, it's going to be your job

to keep things tidy.

Make sure there are no accidents and nothing gets broken.

You should probably carry a cloth at all times.

- You mean like a cleaner?

- Exactly like a cleaner.

Oh, you're so much smarter than you look.

- No way!

I'd rather play Sudoku than be your party slave.

- Oh, really?

'Cause if the house doesn't look

exactly the way Mum and Dad left it,

then everyone at school is going to see this.

♫ Rubber ducky, joy of joy

♫ When I squeeze you, you make noise

- Right, then.

Cool.

- [Samantha] Yeah? - [Alex] Yeah.

(dance music)

- Oh!

- You've been in the house for 30 seconds!

- Looks a little bit like Finland.

- No, no, it looks more like Madagascar.

Sam cannot see this.

We have to find the cleaning stuff.

- Why didn't you tell me about the party earlier?

I would've worn something a little more sophisticated.

- What?

- This could be my big chance with your sister.

- Oh, as if.

You're the last person she wants to see.

Come on, before she spots it.

So far, so good.

- And then you know what Norris says,

he says, "You have to Captain the cricket team, Simon.

"There's no-one else as talented or as good looking as you."

And so you know what I said?

- I don't care.

- Exactly, I don't care.

I'm not doing it for you,

I am doing it for all of the little people.

- Simon?

Oh, this is not good!

- Hey. Paula, isn't it?

- Sam.

- Sam, right.

How could I forget?

- Um, do I know you?

- Some people are highly forgettable.

Take a walk, buddy.

- Oh, wow, are you rescuing me from toad-head?

Oh, how sweet.

Come on, I'll show you around.

- What about my cricket story?

- Drop dead, Simon.

- Sorry about that, mate.

- You should be, your shoulders are really pointy!

- Simon?

Simon.

Rug. Cleaning stuff.

Be careful of the lamp!

- One minute Bugsy was dead in the shoe box,

the next he's eating a lettuce leaf.

He had definitely crossed back over from bunny afterlife.

- What are you doing here?

- I just came by to borrow a rolling pin.

I don't go to many parties, Alex.

Was I supposed to bring a lamp?

- Come on.

Watch it!

- Relax, you're making me clumsy.

- That's Mum's good pecorino!

- Maybe you should drink something!

(coughs and gags)

That wasn't ginger beer, was it?

- Smells like it.

- Ginger beer always makes Alex puke!

Has done since kinder.

- Well, you'd think he would know better now!

(retching and gagging)

Gross.

- Dance Mania!

Oh, wait till Sam sees my smokin' moves!

Hi.

- Hi.

- I'm Simon, I'm Sam's boyfriend.

- Are you coming out, Alex?

- [Alex] Can't.

There's no door handle on this side.

It's dodgy.

You have to lift and jiggle.

Lift.

- I am lifting.

- [Alex] Then jiggle it. - [Maddy] I am!

- [Alex] Pull! - [Maddy] I am!

- [Alex] Pull harder!

(groans)

- I think I pulled too hard, Alex.

I'm deceptively strong, you know.

(Alex shouts)

(phone rings)

- Hi, Mum, we're fine.

Oh, I was just...

I was helping Alex with his homework.

Got to go. Love you, bye!

- I'll get some pliers.

- Excuse me!

Alex, are you in there?

- [Alex] Um...

No.

(drill whirs)

- Well, aren't you handy!

- I'm pretty capable.

- I didn't break the door, it just got stuck.

It's dodgy.

You know you have to lift and jiggle.

I'll fix it, I'll fix everything.

I'll clean up. I'll mop the floor!

Don't.

- Why shouldn't I?

- Because...

Because you'll lose your waiter and you'll have to clean.

Who'll host?

No host, no party, right?

And you haven't even gotten Mr Handyman's number.

- Okay, but you'd better make this place

look exactly the way it should

and I'd better get Mr Handyman's number or it's bath time.

- Where's the rug?

- I moved it in case of accidents.

Sorry, mate.

Watch out!

No!

(glass shatters)

What are you doing?

- Dancing, Alex, want to salsa?

- Just don't break anything, okay?

- What, like the high score?

Yeah, 'cause I'm on fire!

- You know you're right, you are on fire.

(sizzles)

- No!

- Don't break anything, Simon.

(smoke alarm blares)

(electricity sizzles)

(clattering)

(Alex groans)

- [Boy] Who turned the lights off?

- [Boy] What's going on?

- What's with the lights?

- [Boy] Supposed to be a party!

- [Samantha] Ow, who's that?

- It's me.

- Oh, hello you.

(overlapping conversations)

- I found the fuse box in the cupboard under the stairs.

Oh, and I found this too.

- Oh, hey, it looks like Finland.

- Alex!

- We should probably have that dance now,

before the party's over.

- Oh, this party is so over.

- I can clean it up, there's still time.

No, you wouldn't.

Would you?

- Feel like pizza?

- You bet.

(phones beep)

♫ Rubber ducky, you're the one (laughter)

♫ You make bath time so much fun

♫ Rubber ducky, I'm awfully fond of you

(alarm blares)

(upbeat music)

- Drive safe!

- See ya, Dad.

- Love you.

- [Both] Woo!

- Oh, I invited Maddy over for DVDs and fortune cookies.

- Well, as long as you didn't invite creepy Simon.

- Nope, definitely, absolutely not.

- Good, because I'm having a party.

- Yeah, you may want to have it outside.

You know, to minimise the damage.

- What damage?

- Oh, you know what parties are like.

Stained rugs, broken stereos, flooded kitchens, burnt toast.

Plus outside parties always have a much better vibe.

- Hmm.

Good plan, Slug.

You're so much smarter than you look.

- Yeah, don't call me that.

- Actually, Slug, it's gonna be your job to make sure

the yard looks exactly like it did before the party

so Mum and Dad have no idea.

- No way, chin face!

I'm not some waiter who's going to watch drinks

and carry a cloth at all times.

- Oh, you'll do it.

'Cause if you don't, then...

then I'll...

- You'll what?

- Whatever, just don't embarrass me.

- Locked!

- Thanks for inviting me, Alex, I don't go to many parties.

Was I meant to bring a fire extinguisher?

- I'm just checking it's in working order.

You can't be too careful.

Last time round at this party,

we ended up with short circuited electricity

and a small fire.

Plus there was a video.

- Wow.

- The worst bit was that Sam met Justin.

Whatever happens this time,

we have to make sure that doesn't happen, no matter what.

- Who's Justin?

- Justin's the guy Sam pashed at the party.

A couple of days later they're going out

and it's all gooey and lovey.

- How romantic!

- No, no, it's not romantic at all.

Because then Justin dumps Sam for Sarah the Snake.

- He dumped your sister for a reptile?

- No, it's a girl. Sarah.

Sarah the Snake.

Keep up.

After the dumping, Sam is even worse than usual.

The crying, it was torrential.

It was like it was never going to stop.

- You really care about her, huh?

- Yeah, right!

I just care about how much of a pain she was.

Three events led to Sam and Justin getting together.

One, Sam and Justin bonded

when he drilled out the pantry door handle.

- Is that a party game?

- No.

I fixed the dodgy door

but we have to make sure there's no more chances

for Justin to play handyman.

- Is that a party game?

- No!

Justin fixes things.

Sam's impressed by capable guys.

- She must be really impressed by you then, Alex.

So, two, Sam and Justin pashed

after there was a spilled drink that made the stereo blow up

and the lights go out.

- No Mr Fix-it opportunities,

no blowing up stereos,

no romantic darkness.

You can rely on me, Alex.

- And three, as long as Simon's not here,

it means that he can't crack on to Sam,

which means that Justin won't be able to rescue her

and the rest, the blubbering and all that, won't happen.

(dance music)

He's here.

- Who, Justin?

- No, Simon.

- Hey, that stain kind of looks like--

- [Alex] Finland. Yes, yes, I know.

- No, more like Madagascar.

- Justin alert.

Keep him away from Sam.

- Over and out.

It's detective speak.

I know my languages, Alex.

- Just don't let him out of your sight, okay?

- Ten-four, Oscar Charlie Zulu.

- Surely she must have mentioned me.

Simon and Samantha?

People call us Si-mantha,

or Sa-mon.

Actually, no, that's not very nice.

No-one calls us Sa-mon.

- What are you doing here?

Didn't I tell you to stay at home

so we could game together later?

- No, I was waiting online

and the party was all over the internet.

Bit surprised you didn't invite me, actually.

But I'm guessing you didn't want any competition?

Smooth, huh?

- What's with the hair?

Is that your dad's suit?

- Sophisticated women like your sister love good tailoring.

- You have to leave now.

- No way, I haven't seen Sam yet.

Stop it.

You're freaking me out.

Sam, what's going on?

- Hey, how're you going?

- You're going to have to trust me on this.

It's a loop year thing.

- So stuffing me in the shed is a loop year thing?

- What are you doing here?

You're meant to be watching Justin.

- I didn't want to miss out.

- [Alex] On what? - [Maddy] The game.

- What game?

- The let's all get in the shed game.

- There is no game!

- Then why are we in the shed?

- I'm here to keep him away from Sam.

- Oh, I get it, the loop year thing, huh?

Last time round I ended up pashing her, didn't I?

You can't stand in the way of true love, Alex.

Right!

Well, I'm going to go find Sam.

It's a bit stiff.

- Wait.

- Just need a bit of a lift and a jiggle.

Oh.

Handle's come off.

- I don't believe it.

This is exactly what happened last time!

Well, we're going to have to stay in here

and wait for the party to finish.

As long as Sam doesn't find us

and get Justin to start fixing things,

everything should be okay.

- Way to party, Alex.

What are we supposed to do in here?

Stand around telling stories?

- Did I ever tell you about the time

my rabbit Bugsy came back from the dead?

- Help!

Help!

Help, help, get me out!

- Alex, is that you in there?

- Um...

No.

(groans)

- [Samantha] By the way, I'm Sam.

- [Alex] No!

- Well, aren't you handy!

- I'm pretty capable.

- Hey, Sam, nice party.

- What were you doing in the shed?

And what did you do to the hall rug?

If Mum and Dad see that, they'll ground us till we're 40.

- Chill, Sam, it's only grape juice.

Or so I heard.

- Just soak it with white vinegar, it'll come right off.

I can give you a hand if you like.

- Like?

I'd love that.

- I can do it, I love stains!

And Simon'll help, it's his fault.

Isn't that right, Simon?

- Let's dance, Sam.

You should see my smoking moves!

- They've made contact, Alex.

- We can still stop the pash.

- No power cut, no exploding stereos, no romantic darkness.

- Wow, you really are across this.

- Was there ever a doubt?

- Well...

- I'll watch the stereo, you go stop Sam and Justin.

Go, go, go, go, go, go.

- Are you right?

- Me, I'm fine.

You, not so sure.

- Alex!

- What are you on about?

- I mean, you're a guest, you should go and have fun.

- What?

- Go on, go party.

- Okay, I guess.

- What are you doing?

- Helping you clean the rug.

- Idiot!

(phone rings)

- Mum.

(glass shatters)

- Was that my phone?

I swear I just heard my phone.

- Yeah, yeah, I think I heard it coming from upstairs.

- [Girl] Yeah, sausages!

- [Boy] Barbecue, yeah!

- You're not doing any cheese on toast, are you?

- No, mate, just sausages.

- Yeah, good.

Keep it that way.

I'm on to you.

- Okay, whatever you say, mate.

- Still no drink on the stereo, Alex.

- Be very, very careful.

(smoke alarm beeps)

- I just warned him. Honestly!

(shouts)

- Check me out, I'm on fire!

- We all will be in a minute!

- There's still no drink on the stereo, Alex!

- You all right, mate?

- Sorry.

(shouting)

- [Boy] Turn it off!

- [Alex] Sorry!

- [Girl] Idiot.

- One less than last time.

Wonder what happened to the other guy?

- Still no drink, Alex.

- Oh! (water splashes)

- There you are.

(shouts) (water splashes)

(coughs)

- You okay, buddy?

- I got the drink off the stereo, Alex.

- Here.

- Oops, ginger beer.

(cheering)

(laughter)

- [Simon] Alex. Alex!

Someone broke your stereo!

Alex!

Oh! (thuds)

- What's with the lights?

Ow, who's that?

- It's me.

- [Samantha] Oh, hello you.

(Alex gags)

- [Kids] Hey!

- Oh!

- Ooh, sorry about that.

White vinegar should clean it right up.

- No, that's it.

Enough of the freak show.

I'm out of here.

- Me too, this party is so over.

- Feel like pizza?

- You bet.

Hi, I'm Sarah.

- [Justin] I'm Justin.

- Sarah the Snake.

Yes, yes, yes!

- He's leaving.

This is all your fault!

Mum and Dad are going to kill us.

- I found the fuse box under the stairs.

Oh, and I found this.

- What the?

Alex.

You are so going to pay for this.

All of this!

- Is she calling for pizza?

- I'm not ordering pizza.

(hums)

- You wouldn't, would you?

- It's bath time.

(gasps)

What are you doing back?

- What do you mean, what are we doing back?

We've been calling, you haven't been answering your phone.

Where is your phone?

- Right here.

(message alerts beep)

♫ Rubber ducky, you're the one

♫ You make bath time so much fun

♫ Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you

- You guys are grounded forever!

- It was all Alex.

He's the one who should be grounded, not me.

Mum!

Mum, please listen to me.

- [Mum] Everybody out.

Party's over.

Thank you, good night.

- So did it work?

Did we save your sister?

- I guess so.

Not that she'll ever know anything about it.

(phone beeps)

- What's this?

♫ Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you

♫ Booty booty boo

♫ Rubber ducky.

- Sam, get out of the bathroom!

What are you doing here?

- Why are you wearing a shower cap in the bath, Alex?

- I really don't want to talk about it.

Ever.

Man, I hate parties.

(rock music)